


The Anatomy of Love

by fandommatchmaker19



Series: The Anatomy of Haylijah [1]
Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 303,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19
Summary: Two years and a half ago, Elijah Mikaelson lost everything and is still trying to pick up the pieces, building a wall around himself and not letting anyone in. Not until Hayley Marshall starts working at the same hospital as him.When she can't take it anymore, young mom Hayley Marshall and her seven-year-old daughter Hope move across the country to New Orleans, not knowing what she's about to walk into and the family drama that abounds at St. John's Memorial Hospital in New Orleans.In New Orleans, Hayley encounters more complications from her past, but she also finds the meaning of family and starts falling for Elijah. Will Hayley break down the walls Elijah built around himself? Will Elijah’s baggage and family drama stand in their way? And, when both Hayley and Elijah's pasts come back, can they survive?
Relationships: Hayley Marshall/Elijah Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson/Camille O'Connell, Marcel Gerard/Rebekah Mikaelson
Series: The Anatomy of Haylijah [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096925
Comments: 60
Kudos: 103





	1. 'This Ain't a Fairy Tale

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I have many fics in progress. And, yes, I'm posting yet another one. I've been wanting to do a Hospital AU for a while, but finally I came up with a proper plot and idea, so I had to do it! Which, speaking of this being a medical AU, I'm not a doctor, or a med student. I'm just a Grey's Anatomy/New Amsterdam fan, and I'll research if I do something really medical, but I don't promise to be very accurate! Besides, this is mostly about the characters! Hope you enjoy!  
> P.S. Fun little fact, the chapter titles are lyrics or parts of lyrics from Taylor Swift songs. LOL

Hayley Marshall glanced in the rearview mirror at her sleeping daughter and sighed, relieved, before her eyes returned to the road ahead of her. The sign indicated she had reached the New Orleans city limits, and she smiled before hitting the gas. Soon, they would reach their new home, just her and Hope, and they would start their new life.

The apartment Hayley and Hope were going to rent was in the center, close to the hospital and the school, and she found it easily, and parked her truck before turning to Hope.

“Hope?” she whispered, shaking her daughter lightly. “Hope, sweetie, wake up. We’re here,” she announced, a little louder. “Hope, c’mon, wake up,” she said, louder, shaking her daughter a little harder. Finally, Hope’s beautiful blue eyes, unlike her own hazel ones, fluttered open, and she blinked slowly, and stretched before sitting up and flashing Hayley a tired smile.

“Mom?” she asked, yawning slightly.

“Hey, sweetie,” she smiled at Hope.

“Are we here yet?”

“Yup, we just arrived. C’mon, I’ll take you upstairs, and then I’ll bring up our suitcases, ‘kay?” she suggested as she unlocked the car and got out, finally stretching her sore limbs. It was almost midnight, and they’d been driving the better part of the day, and Hayley felt like collapsing, but first she had to get Hope inside, then get the suitcases, and get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep before she had to get up early the next morning to get ready for her first day of work. She opened Hope’s door, and scooped her daughter into her arms before locking the car and walking to the front door of the apartment building.

“Mom?” Hope asked as Hayley rummaged in the postal box, searching for the keys.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Do you have to work tomorrow?” she asked in a small voice, wiping her eyes tiredly. “We could just spend the day together, explore the city and get ice-cream?” she suggested, with a pleading look in her wide, blue eyes.

“Oh? Is that what you want?” Hayley quipped, quirking an eyebrow at Hope.

“Yup!” Hope grinned, her eyes shining despite the obvious tiredness. Hayley just laughed and pressed a kiss to Hope’s earlobe, tickling her lightly, causing her daughter to let out a delighted giggle, and squeal “mom, stop it, stop it, mommy!” between fits of laughter. Finally, Hayley fingers touched the cool metal of the keys and she grabbed them before inserting them in the keyhole of the front door. She unlocked the building and set Hope down before taking her small hand in hers and leading her to the elevator. They took the elevator up to fourth floor and Hope opened the door of the small, but modern apartment.

“This is it,” she said to her daughter, “we’re home.”

“I’m so tired, mom. Can I just go to bed?”

“Sure, sweetie. Let’s get you to bed,” the brunette smiled and scooped her daughter in her arms, and carried her to her bedroom, settling her in the bed. “Okay, just sleep, sweetie. I’ll be right back,” she whispered to her in a soft voice. She pressed a swift kiss to Hope’s forehead then turned around and ran out of the apartment, and raced downstairs. After grabbing their suitcases and lugging them upstairs, she finally locked the door of their apartment and kicked off her shoes, the tiredness finally hitting her. The apartment was dark and empty, and it would be a while before it could finally look like a home, but it was hers, and safe, and as far away from Jackson Kenner as possible. Hayley rummaged through one of her duffel bags and grabbed her PJ’s and toiletries and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, needing to wash out the stench and sweat of the road. When she was done, she put on her PJ’s, grabbed an extra blanket, and crawled into bed beside Hope, pressing a soft kiss to her daughter’s hair.

“Goodnight, Hope. I love you so much,” she mumbled softly as she pressed herself closer to Hope’s sleeping body before her own body was overtaken by the exhaustion and she succumbed to sleep.

* * *

The next morning was hell. Hayley was tired. Hope was tired. Really, she should have taken the day off and relaxed and unpacked and spent time with her daughter, but she didn’t. So, after wrestling Hope out of bed, and sending her to take a shower, she set about to make only to realize she hadn’t gone grocery shopping yet. So, breakfast would be dropping by a bakery and grabbing a muffin and coffee for her and just a muffin for Hope. Eventually, after arguing with Hope about going to school and why Hayley had to go to work, the two of them left the apartment and headed out, picking up a quick breakfast on the way to the school.

“Mom, do I have to?” Hope asked for what seemed like the millionth time, pouting.

“Yes, you do,” Hayley told her. “Look, I know you wanted to stay home, but the sooner you start at your new school, the better. You’re going to have loads of fun, and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“But, mom…” Hope groaned, rolling her eyes. Hayley glanced at her watch; she still had half an hour to get to the hospital, but she was already running out of time. “Do I have to?”

“Hope, sweetie, I know you don’t want to, but you really do have to. I promise that tomorrow when I get off work we’re going to have a pizza and movie night and spend loads of time together. And, the weekend is coming up, too. Okay?” Hope stared at her for a few seconds, as if contemplating what she’d said.

“Fine,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Little Miss, I suggest you roll your eyes less if you want that pizza and movie night to happen,” she added in a serious tone.

“Sorry, mom.”

“Okay. I love you. Have a good day, sweetie,” she told her, bringing her index and middle finger to her lips and kiss them while Hope did the same. They touched their fingers, and Hayley flashed Hope an encouraging smile. 

“I love you, too,” Hope smiled at her, then threw her arms around her middle, and Hayley hugged her back quickly before untangling herself from her and handing Hope her lunch bag. Hope went to join her class and Hayley watched as she walked with them inside. Then, she turned on her heel and got back to her car.

She manages to make it to the hospital with barely two minutes to spare, and is pointed to the Chief’s office. She plops down in the waiting room chair, but doesn’t have to wait long because out comes Chief Vincent Griffith, a black man wearing a shirt and pants with a white coat on top, and he flashed her a wide smile at her.

“Hayley Marshall? You’re the new resident transfer?” he asked, holding out his hand for her to shake.

“Yeah, hi!” she said, shaking his hand.

“Chief Griffith. I’m the Chief of Surgery here,” he informed her. “Let’s take a walk,” he added, and Hayley scrambled hastily to her feet.

“Right. It’s nice to meet you, Chief,” she said and followed after him.

* * *

After Chief Griffith gave her an extensive tour and introduced her to the Chief Resident, Marcel Gerard, Hayley was allocated a locker and she changed into scrubs before grabbing her coat, stethoscope, pager and phone and racing to the E.R. where Marcel had told her to be. She could deal with the E.R., she’d spent most of her residency in it.

“We’ve got an incoming,” the nurse told her when she entered. “Dr. Mikaelson is heading down, you can grab a gown and go assist.”

“You do know I’m not some lost intern, right?” Hayley snapped in annoyance. [She could do more than watch some fancy doctor; she hadn’t killed herself in residency for the past almost four years to just stand and watch like some helpless intern].

“No, I don’t know that. This is the first time I see you. You’re wearing resident scrubs and you’re new. You’ve got to be an intern,” the nurse told her.

“Well, I’m not,” Hayley retorted, rolling her eyes. “I’m a fourth year resident. Transferred here. So, maybe you could treat me with a little more respect,” she added curtly before going to grab a gown, fumbling with the laces to tie it before fingers brushed tenderly against hers, and stopped her.

“May I?” a soft, yet deep, slightly British male voice said from behind her. She let go of the laces, and relaxed.

“Thanks,” she said gratefully. “It’s- it’s sort of my first day,” she added, though she wasn’t sure exactly why she had.

“Oh?”

“I’m not an intern, though. I’m a fourth year resident, but I transferred. Just… I kind of just had to leave where I was living before,” she explained, and blushed as a shiver ran down her spine when the man’s fingers brushed against the back of her neck. She bit her lip, willing herself to relax while whoever the kind stranger was finished tying the gown. Finally, he was done, and she turned to face him, and her breath hitched in her throat. The man in front of her was probably one of the hottest men she’d ever seen, if not _the_ hottest. He was slightly taller than her, had dark, messy hair in natural spikes and dark brown eyes and a slight stubble. He seemed unbothered by her, and Hayley was pretty sure that was attributed by her looking like an absolute mess. [She’d tried to look nice, or at least presentable, but after the morning drama with Hope and running around the hospital, she was sure she didn’t look nice or presentable]. The man, an attending judging by his scrubs, flashed her a kind smile.

“Hello,” he greeted her. “I’m Dr. Elijah Mikaelson. Ortho,” he introduced himself, and held out his hand for her to shake. Hayley swallowed thickly.

_Get a grip of yourself, Marshall. That’s your freaking boss, stop ogling him,_ she attempted to scold herself, but she wasn’t sure she’d succeeded. “Um, hi,” she smiled at him, and hoped she wasn’t making a fool of herself. “I’m Hayley. Hayley Marshall. Like I, uh, said earlier… I’m a fourth year resident. It’s, um, it’s nice to meet you,” she said, stumbling slightly over her words as she shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Marshall,” Elijah said as he pulled on his own gown and headed towards the E.R. doors. The ambulance hadn’t arrived, but Elijah started tying his gown.

“Need some help?” she asked him innocently, though there was a not so innocent part of her that wanted to feel his skin beneath her fingers.

“Thanks,” he said as she grabbed the laces and concentrated on tying them as swiftly as possible, though her fingers did brush against his neck, and she noticed he was wearing a chain around his neck. She wondered what it was, but pushed the thought away. “Done?”

“Yeah! All done!” she said quickly before stepping away from him just as the ambulance pulled in and the two of them rushed towards it. The doors opened and out stepped a young paramedic stepped out, gripping the stretcher with one hand while the other paramedic pushed it.

“25-year-old male versus tree,” she announced. “Apparently his neighbor’s cat got stuck, so he decided to get it. “Fell about twelve feet. Cat fell on top of him, so he has some lacerations. And, a branch fell on top, too along with the ladder. Luckily, his neighbor’s grandson was preparing for a back-yard camping trip, so there were a bunch of sleeping bags that broke his fall. He’s got blunt head trauma, crush injuries, and likely internal bleeding. GCS is 10, though he’s currently unconscious, ” she rattled off while they all wheeled the patient inside to a trauma room.

“One, two, three,” Hayley ordered as the paramedics and nurses transferred the patient onto the trauma bed and nurses began hooking him up to monitors.

“He also broke some bones,” Elijah said as he cut the patient’s pants revealing his legs broken at weird angles. “Poor fool,” he muttered, huffing.

“It’s really cliché, but there’s a reason firefighters get called for cat in a tree incident,” the paramedic told them with an eye roll.

“Yeah, getting that,” Hayley mumbled as she palpated his abdomen. “Abdomen’s distended. Give me the portable ultrasound!” she yelled while Elijah was working on his broken bones. Another doctor entered, a curly haired brunette and introduced herself as Dr. Meredith Fell, head of neuro. 

“Well, his pupils are equal and reactive. Do a CT to rule out bleeding, would you?” Dr. Fell said, turning to Hayley.

“Will do,” Hayley nodded. A groan, turned her attention back to the patient.

“Fuck! Ow, Lola’s going to kill me! Ow!” the guy groaned, and Elijah leaned closer.

“Sir, can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you! Fuck, this hurts!” he snapped, and Elijah looked back to Hayley.

“Alright, sir. Sir, you’re in the hospital. You fell form the tree trying to get your neighbor’s cat,” she told the patient, leaning slightly towards him.

“Stupid cat,” the guy muttered, squeezing his eyes shut from the pain.

“Sir, it’s best I reset your shoulder, here, alright?” Elijah said. “Dr. Marshall?” he ordered, and Hayley moved closer to him.

“Do you have to?”

“I’m afraid so, but you’ll feel much better afterwards,” Elijah told him, his voice even. He directed Hayley, and together they set the shoulder in place.

“Fuck!” the guy screamed in pain. A nurse handed her a sling, and she wrapped his arm in it before turning to Elijah.

“He’s got lots of internal bleeding,” she told him. “His abdomen’s a mess.”

“Alright, take him up to CT, then to the O.R. I’ll meet you there,” Elijah told her and stepped out, tearing off his gown. He then turned to one of the nurses, “page general and tell them to meet us in O.R. 4.”

After doing as told, Hayley paged Dr. Fell to the CT, which concluded that the idiot’s brain bleed was thankfully not as life-threatening, and Dr. Fell wanted Elijah and general to operate first before she’d fix it.

Elijah was already scrubbing when Hayley burst into the scrub room.

“So?”

“Dr. Fell said she doesn’t have to operate right now, and she’d rather you did before she fixes his brain. Though, I don’t think she can fix it. Dude needs serious help,” she said as she scrubbed her hands furiously.

“Probably. We’ll page psych to see him when he wakes up. But, first he has to live till tomorrow, and idiot or not, we have to make sure he does,” Elijah informed her as he put his mask on while exiting the scrub room and entering the O.R. through the automatic doors. Hayley followed after him and the nurse helped her with her surgical gown and gloves before she joined Elijah at the table. Moments later, the doors opened once more to reveal another doctor. 

“Dr. Mikaelson, you paged general?”

“Yes. Thank you for joining us, Dr. Mikaelson,” Elijah greeted, and Hayley’s eyebrows furrowed briefly in confusion, but she brushed it off. [Maybe they were related. There was something familiar about the other Dr. Mikaelson, but Hayley couldn’t quite put her finger on it, so she ignored it].

* * *

“Great job, Dr. Marshall,” Elijah said once Hayley placed the last suture, and exhaled in relief. “Dr. Mikaelson, are you all done?”

“Yes, thank you, Dr. Mikaelson,” the other Dr. Mikaelson said, and Hayley could pretty much see him smirk smugly. “Shall we?”

The nurses lingered, and the anesthesiologist left first, rubbing his neck and nodding at the two Dr. Mikaelson’s. Hayley sighed, and stepped away from the table, and wondered what was the relation between the two doctors as she followed after them in the scrub room, throwing her surgical gown, gloves and mask into the surgical waste bin and ripping off her scrub cap as she entered the scrub room. And then, she stopped dead in her tracks, letting out a gasp as she stared at the two attendings in the scrub room, and more specifically at the other Dr. Mikaelson, her eyes wide with shock.

“Klaus,” she hissed, something between angry and shocked, but the man in question merely smirked at her.

“Hello, Hayley,” he greeted her, his blue eyes shining with delight, though Hayley found his delight confusing, or irritating, or both.

Elijah’s gaze drifted between them, and he blinked rapidly, very clearly confused while Hayley and Klaus stared at each other. “So, you two know each other?” he finally asked.

“Yes, we met once,” Klaus grinned.

“Sadly yes,” she said at the same time, and glared at him.

“Truly, a night to remember, wouldn’t you say, love?” Klaus quipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and he smirked smugly.

Hayley practically growled, “I would rather drop dead,” she hissed, narrowing her eyes. She was about to add something else, but was saved by the sound of her pager. It was the Pit. “And, while I would love to stay here and rehash our history in front of your-” she paused, and glanced over at Elijah, “-in front of Dr. Mikaelson,” she stumbled a little over her words, “I’m needed in the Pit. Bye.” And, with that she turned on her heel and stormed out of the scrub room, slamming the door behind her, hard. Her pager beeped again, a 9-1-1, and she broke into run, not bothering with the elevators and instead flying down the stairs, taking them practically three at a time. She panted as she stopped in the E.R. and was greeted by chaos, which wasn’t unusual for an E.R.

“I was paged?” she demanded, her eyes drifting around desperately. Most of the beds were occupied, and several harried-looking residents, interns and nurses were flitting between patients, trying to be in all places at once. One of the trauma rooms was occupied, and she could hear doctors and nurses rushing about, yelling orders, the sound of CPR being performed. “I was paged?” she repeated, still looking around confused as to where she might be needed. She hoped it was the trauma room; it looked like it was about to be surgical, and she could use a good surgery. [Sure, she’d just gotten out of one, but Hayley could never really have enough. There, she was a surgery-junkie-slash-single-mom, she could admit it]. The trauma room doors burst open, and out came several nurses, plus the third year resident Kol Mikaelson, who was possibly related to Elijah, or Klaus, or both, and Elena Gilbert, one of her fellow fourth year residents. They were all wheeling a patient – a kid – and Hayley’s eyes widened at the sight. There was more blood outside the little boy’s body, than inside it. And, behind the trolley came Marcel Gerard, the Chief Resident.

“Marcel!” she yelled by way of greeting, and stepped towards him. “You paged?”

“Yup,” he said curtly.

“What happened? Where do you need me?” she fired at him rapidly, not really allowing him to respond.

“Mom and kid. MVC. Mom was dead on impact. Kid’s got crush injuries, internal bleeding, we’re rushing him to surgery,” Marcel reported. As they approached the door, Elena stopped, and turned to Marcel.

“Dr. Gerard, we’re going to O.R. 4. You coming with us?” she asked breathlessly, her dark brown eyes drifting between Hayley and Marcel in confusion.

“Yeah, just one minute, Gilbert. You all go ahead, I’ll meet you there,” Marcel called out, and Elena nodded curtly before directing everyone surrounding the gurney towards the elevator.

“Do you need me to come with you?” asked Hayley.

“You? Nope, we’re good, thanks. I need _you_ down here. There are people waiting,” he informed her.

“You want me on SCUT?” she stared at him, incredulous. “I’m a fourth year resident, Marcel, not an intern. I can do more than stitch a couple of cuts and cast broken bones,” she snapped, practically yelling, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yes, we’ve all heard of your surgical expertise, Marshall,” Marcel remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But, right now I’m going to surgery, and so is Gilbert. Laughlin, that’s our Head of Trauma and E.R. is out ‘cause her kid has the flu. Malraux is in surgery. I need someone capable in here ‘cause there is no way in hell I’m leavin’ the E.R. to a bunch of interns!” he pursed his lips, his jaw set.

“Why can’t someone else do it?” she argued, blowing a strand of hair out of her face in exasperation.

“Well, if ya haven’t noticed, we’re kinda short around here. Maybe if you didn’t transfer at the end of the residency year, you’d get to pick. Hey, look, you might be a skilled fourth year resident, Marshall, but I’m a fifth year, and I’m Chief Resident,” his voice became louder, but Hayley only scowled. “I have boards coming up, and attendings to impress, and a fellowship to choose, and relationship drama, and hell of a lot to deal with, but you don’t hear me complaining! So, quit whining that you don’t get to do fancy surgeries all day and go deal with sutures. And, when you’re done, there are flu shots to be given!” he spat, glaring at her angrily, almost daring her to reply. Hayley huffed, and brushed past him as she walked to the nurse’s desk, groaning at the stack of charts. She grabbed the first one as the E.R. doors slammed shut after Marcel ran out of there.

* * *

After Hayley left the scrub room, Elijah stared after the hot-tempered, yet very skilled resident. Then, he turned his attention back to his brother.

“Brother,” he drawled slowly, “is there anything you wish to tell me?”

“Not particularly,” Klaus shrugged, but Elijah merely gave him an incredulous look. The nurses and orderlies had already wheeled their patient out of the room, and brought another one in, and the doors to the scrub room burst open as Elena Gilbert, one of Elijah’s favorite residents, though he always said he didn’t play favorites, entered. [It was often believed by other residents and even some attendings that his liking to Elena had a lot to do with the fact that they used to be in-laws, but the simple fact was that Elena was nothing like his ex-wife, except in looks to an extent. And, that was exactly why Elijah liked her]. Niklaus smirked upon noticing her. “Hello, Dr. Gilbert. How are you doing today?” he grinned rather diabolically at the poor girl.

“Dr. Mikaelson,” Elena all but grimaced. “Hey, Elijah,” she added, flashing him a quick smile.

“Hello, Elena,” he greeted her. “Surgery?”

“Yeah. MVC. We got the kid, mom was DOS,” she reported with a huff as she scrubbed her hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said sadly and she nodded gratefully while Klaus moved to exit the scrub room. “Niklaus,” he repeated, turning his attention to his brother. “I ask once again, brother, is there anything you wish to tell me?”

Klaus rolled his eyes theatrically, “and, I repeat, brother,” the word rolled off his tongue more of an insult, “that I do not. Besides, Dr. Gilbert here may have been family once, but I don’t think that warrants airing our dirty laundry in front of her, does it, Elena?” Klaus drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm, but Elena just rolled her eyes and continued to scrub furiously.

“Fine,” he gritted his teeth. “We’ll discuss this outside. I know for a fact that neither of us has anything to do anytime soon, so let’s go down to the attendings’ lounge,” he snapped, not one to beat around the bush. Klaus nodded, and opened the door.

“Good luck, Dr. Gilbert,” Klaus added, waving at Elena before he was out the door. Elijah turned to his former sister-in-law to find her still scrubbing furiously.

“Elena, are you alright?” he asked as he leaned against the cabinet behind him that housed all the masks and soap.

“Yeah, fine, Elijah,” she panted a little. “Why? What’s up?”

“It’s not nothing,” he remarked, “not from the way you’re scrubbing. What’s going on?”

Elena hesitated to answer, and continued to scrub before she finally put the bar of soap away and stepped away from the sink, the water turning off automatically. Her hands were red from all the scrubbing.

“Oh, you know, just… family drama,” she finally said, shrugging like it was nothing. But, as someone who had once had intimate knowledge of Elena’s family, Elijah knew it wasn’t nothing.

“It’s not nothing. It never really is,” he told her.

“No, it’s not. But, I can’t really do anything about it from here, so…” she trailed off, shrugging. “It’ll be fine. They’ll deal with it somehow,” she added, trying to sound positive, though it seemed to be mostly for his benefit. Elijah knew that despite their differences, Elena cared about her biological family back in Bulgaria as much as she cared about the Gilberts who had adopted her and she’d do anything for them.

“Alright, let me know if you need something,” he said before straightening himself and heading towards the door just as the door burst open to reveal a harried looking Marcel Gerard. “Easy there, Marcellus,” Elijah told him good-naturedly. Marcel just grunted as he tied his mask and began to scrub his hands.

“Hey there, Dr. Gilbert. Dr. Mikaelson,” he greeted them both, though he didn’t look away.

“Right, well, good luck, you two. I best get going. Is Niklaus still in the hallway, Marcel, or has he run to hide?”

“Still there. Sulking,” Marcel informed him. Elijah nodded, then turned to Elena.

“Elena?”

“Yeah?”

“Word of advice. All that family drama, that stuff that has you scrubbing so furiously? Leave it in here. You step into that O.R., and your mind must only be on the surgery and your patient, okay? Because all that stuff can weigh you down, cloud your judgement. Just leave it in here,” he told her, flashing her a quick smile. Elena nodded, and relaxed slightly.

“Thanks, Elijah. Bye,” she told him before stepping into the O.R. Marcel finished scrubbing and gave him a curt nod before following after Elena.

* * *

“So, brother, what exactly happened between yourself and Dr. Marshall?” Elijah asked as soon as he and Klaus sat at the cafeteria table. He’d attempted to ask the question as soon as he found his brother, sulking as Marcel said, outside the O.R., but Niklaus had insisted they go to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat. Elijah wasn’t a fan of cafeteria food, and tended to have a meal in the attedings’ lounge, but Klaus had insisted they go to the cafeteria since the attendings’ lounge tended to be a place for gossip. But, now, Elijah wasn’t going to wait around much longer. Still, Klaus continued to stare at his muffin and coffee. “Well?”

“Oh, alright,” Klaus finally sighed and looked up at him. “Let’s just say that Hayley and I had an encounter at a bar while we were still in med school,” he finally said. Elijah groaned.

“Oh dear Gods. Of course you did. And, what exactly did you do to warrant the poor woman still be angry by your mere presence?” he asked, exasperated. Klaus hesitated, but Elijah had the sinking feeling he knew the answer.

“Well, we may have continued our encounter at her apartment,” he said.

“Of course you did. For the love of God, Niklaus, could you be any more like yourself?”

“You mean a womanizing jerk?” Klaus retorted. There was a pregnant pause as they fell in silence, then it suddenly occurred to Elijah.

“You knocked her up, didn’t you?” he asked with yet another exasperated sigh. Klaus said nothing, but that was answer enough, and averted his gaze. “Well, what else did you do, Niklaus?” he added when Klaus stayed silent.

“I may have told her to do what she wanted with it, it wasn’t my problem,” he finally admitted. Elijah slammed his hand to his forehead, then looked back to his brother.

“Honestly, Niklaus, I’m not surprised by her reaction, then. I understand, not everyone wishes to take on parenting with someone they met at a bar and had drunk sex with. But, don’t be a pig about it!”

“Aren’t you always the one lecturing me about respecting women’s choices?” Klaus retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Respect them. Not be a dick. Also, give her an actual choice because I’m not sure she had much of a choice with you telling her you wanted nothing to do with it,” he shot back, exasperated.

“Yes, well, we can’t all be honorable, Elijah,” his brother sighed, rolling his eyes. Elijah merely glared at him.

“It’s not about honor, Niklaus. It’s about at least being a decent person, not a dick.”

Klaus was saved from saying anything else by his pager, and he stood up, grabbing his muffin and coffee. “Well, brother, as entertaining as this conversation in honorable behavior is, I have a patient to get to. Cheers,” his younger brother quipped before heading off. Elijah sighed, and stood up himself, running his hands through his hair. His own pager beeped, indicating the E.R., so he headed there. 


	2. What Could've Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Elijah are on opposite sides of a case, but later Elijah sees that there was more to it, and they become closer. More about Elijah is revealed, and Elijah finds out one of Hayley's secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I researched CIPA (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis) for this chapter, but obviously not a medical professional. Anyways, hope you enjoy!  
> https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/congenital-insensitivity-to-pain-with-anhidrosis#

After Marcel left her to do SCUT, Hayley’s time was spent doing just that. It wasn’t lost on her that doing what Marcel asked was part of the job, and getting on the Chief Resident’s good side was a good idea, so she plastered on a pleasant smile and headed to the beds.

At some point, her phone rang. It was Aiden.

“Hey, Hales,” he greeted.

“Aiden, hey. What’s up?” she asked as she scribbled through some charts.

“I’m off to pick up Hope,” he informed her. “Josh and I were thinking of taking her to the park or something, then have mac and cheese for dinner and a movie. When do you get off tomorrow?”

“Around 1400,” she said, glancing at her watch. “I’ll come pick her up once I get off,” she added.

“Have you even gone grocery shopping?” Aiden wondered, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Um, no. But, I’ll just drop by the store on the way home and get groceries, then come get her,” she told him. The E.R. was buzzing around her, and she noticed the nurses giving her dirty looks for being on her phone.

“Hales, c’mon. Look, you’re not Wonder Woman, you need to go home and shower, get groceries. Leave Hope at mine until then, Josh and I love having her, and you’ll come pick her up once you settle down a bit,” Aiden cut in, and she could practically see him roll his eyes.

“Ugh, fine,” she sighed. “I just- I don’t want you guys to spend all your time with her. I’ll get a babysitter, I promise,” she said, a hint of guilt in her voice.

“Hayley, I told you, we love having her. Besides, you’ve just moved here, don’t worry about it,” Aiden said.

“You’ll tell me how much you love having her tomorrow,” she retorted, chuckling slightly.

“Oh, she’ll be fine, I’m sure!”

“I’m sure…” she paused, and bit her lip. “I’m sure she’s having a bit of a hard time being away from Mary and her friends…” Hayley sighed nervously.

“Hales, don’t feel guilty about your decision. You made the best decision for you and Hope. And, maybe she doesn’t know it now, but one day she will be grateful she didn’t grow up with him around her, seeing someone treat her mom like he did,” Aiden told her, his tone not leaving any space for questions. “Jackson may have been like a brother once, but there’s a reason I left, too. And, I’m so proud of you for finally leaving his sorry ass,” he added.

“Yeah…” she sighed. “Have y- has he?” she wasn’t sure quite how to pose the question, but a part of her needed to know.

“He hasn’t the faintest idea. Still at the conference. He will be none the wiser, and by the time he comes back, it will be too late. You just… I know this sounds weird, but just go on as normal. Or, well, your new normal,” he told her firmly. Hayley pursed her lips uncertainly, though Aiden couldn’t see her. “And, worry less, you’ll get wrinkles, Marshall,” he added, with a laugh.

“Shut up,” was all she said. “Anyways, I gotta go. The nurses are giving me dirty looks,” she said, straightening up.

“Okay, bye! I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, bidding her ‘goodbye’. “But, seriously, Hales. It’s going to be fine.”

“Bye, Aiden!” she said, and ended the call.

She handed some easy patients to the interns, took care of some more serious ones, or paged attendings, and was about to tell herself maybe it wasn’t so bad when she got to her next patient.

“Bed six,” the nurse handing her the chart told her.

“Thanks,” she muttered, and flashed her a tense smile as she grabbed the chart from her hands and headed there. The patient was a small black girl, no older than Hope, and Hayley tried to push down the uncomfortable knot in her stomach. Her mom was by her side, looking nervous and scared, and rubbing the little girls’ back comfortingly.

“I’m fine,” the little girl told her mom, but the mom shook her head.

“Layla, you fell from the club house, you could have broken something!” the mother shot back in a non-nonsense, yet worried voice, and Hayley was briefly reminded of when Hope had fallen from the monkey bars at school and tried to be brave at the hospital.

“Hi,” she greeted them both. “I’m Dr. Marshall, and I’m going to be your doctor. How can I help?” she asked as she started going through the chart. She almost gasped at the amount of times Layla had been to the hospital, sometimes with some pretty gruesome injuries, yet there was no note in the chart, and social services hadn’t been contacted.

“I fell from my clubhouse,” Layla said, her dark brown eyes staring at her curiously. “But, I’m fine, it doesn’t hurt!”

“You’re a brave one!” Hayley said cheerfully. “Looks like you’ve been down here a couple times, so you must know the deal. I’m going to examine you, and then we’re going to take some pictures to be sure, then we’ll fix you and you’ll be right home,” she told Layla reassuringly. Then, she turned to the mother. “Does she get hurt a lot?”

“She just plays rough, y’know? She’s very active, likes bein’ outside, jumpin’ around, y’know! I love it, this way she’s not ruining her eyesight by looking at a screen all day!” the mother told her, and Hayley nodded faintly, though there was a small part of her that doubted it. [It wasn’t possible for a kid to play so rough as Layla’s history indicated].

“Alright, I’ll examine her first, okay?” Hayley smiled at the woman, trying to put her at ease. “Layla, can you lift your shirt up?” she requested, and had to keep from gasping as she did. The poor girl’s abdomen was covered in bruises and Hayley began to palpate it gently, but Layla didn’t even flinch. “Layla, sweetie, does it hurt when I do this?”

“No,” Layla said honestly. At Hayley’s slightly skeptical look, she repeated, “no, it really doesn’t. I can barely feel it.”

“Layla, hon, you know it’s okay if it hurts. The doctor isn’t going to do anything if it hurts, she’s just gonna make it all better, ‘kay?” the mom told her daughter, but Layla didn’t say otherwise.

“Alright, well, the bruises indicate that she might have some internal bleeding which would mean surgery. I’m going to get an ultrasound, to be sure, but first I wanna do the X-rays, okay?” Hayley told the mother. “What about her dad?”

“He’s working, so he couldn’t make it,” the mom informed her.

“Right, well, I’ll be right back and take her up for X-rays,” Hayley said, still smiling, though it wasn’t really genuine.

She returned to the nurses’ desk. “Hey, that little girl, Layla Carter, she’s been here lots of times. Did you ever call social services?”

“No, why?” the nurse, Sophie, asked her.

“She’s got bruises all over her abdomen and probably broken bones though won’t be able to tell until I get her X-rayed. But, she’s been here and to other hospitals before with some pretty bad injuries. She says she’s fine, but…” she trailed off.

“You think parents might hit her?”

“I don’t- I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not, but if they do, I don’t want to risk it,” she replied, shrugging.

“Okay. Want me to get psych down here?”

“Sure. And, page Dr. Mikaelson down here STAT,” she replied, scribbling in the chart.

“Which one?”

“Ortho,” Hayley responded curtly before returning to Layla and her mom.

“Everything okay, Dr. Marshall?”

“Yup, I’m just going to get her imaging, then we’ll see what we do next, okay?”

“Sure, thanks. But, um, could you- could you hurry it slightly? I know you have a lot of patients, but I don’t have much time,” the mom told her, and Hayley flinched.

“I treat all my patients the same, and make time for those who need more attention. We need to make sure Layla hasn’t suffered extensive damage, and that takes time. If you can’t make that time for your daughter-”

“I make time for my daughter, alright,” the mom hissed lowly, and stood up, moving away from her daughter. Hayley followed after her. “Do you have kids, Dr. Marshall?”

“Yeah, I have a daughter.”

“I work two jobs, yet I’m at every recital, every dance performance, every school play, every soccer game, and track meet. Can you say the same?” the other woman snapped.

“Excuse me? At least I don’t-” she argues, but before she could finish she was stopped.

“Dr. Marshall, that is quite enough! Stop, before you say something you’ll regret!” It was Elijah. Hayley turned to face him, and so did Layla’s mom. “Are you social services, Dr. Marshall?”

“No.”

“No. Then, don’t do their job. Do your job and go get Layla an ultrasound and some X-rays!” he ordered her, his voice icy, and Hayley flinched, but did as told.

“She doesn’t hurt me,” Layla told her while Hayley was prodding her abdomen with the ultrasound wand. “She’s an amazing mom! She works two jobs, but every time I need her, she’s always there. So is my dad. They’re the bestest parents ever!”

“I’m sure they’re good parents,” Hayley muttered neutrally.

“They really are. It’s just- I really do play rough. But, it doesn’t hurt. You wanna know why?”

“Why?” she quipped, deciding to play along.

“Because I have a superpower!”

“Really?”

“Really. Here,” she said, and pinched herself, but didn’t flinch. “Slap me, and you’ll see!”

“I’m not going to do that! Adults shouldn’t slap or punch kids, Layla. I’m not doing that. Look, I get having a superpower might be cool, but you shouldn’t use it as a pretext. If your parents hurt you, you need to tell me and I’ll help you.”

“They don’t!”

“Okay, Layla. Whatever you say,” Hayley nodded, not wanting to argue with a seven-year-old, but she wasn’t going to let it go.

* * *

After the ultrasound established Layla had some internal bleeding, Hayley took the X-ray films and went to the viewing room. Elijah arrived moments later.

“What was that about?” he snapped as soon as he entered. 

“What?”

“You were berating that poor woman, and for what?”

“I had some concerns, and I expressed them. She told me to hurry up, and then decided to question _my_ parenting skills!” she snapped defensively, without realizing what she’d said.

“She was scared and worried for her child!” Elijah shot back, and despite him not speaking loudly, Hayley flinched at his icy tone. “Hayley, I understand you were concerned, and paging psych was smart, but you should have left it at that. Your job is to treat your patients equally, not start making assumptions about the parents just because they’re using the little time they have between jobs to take their kids to the hospital and not wanting to be late because that might get them fired! Yes, the injuries are gruesome, but that doesn’t mean Layla is abused!” he argued, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Of course, you’d think that!” Hayley snapped. “Look, those injuries… I’ve seen those injuries. I spent most of my residency in the E.R. of a county hospital. And, I’ve met those parents, always in a hurry, no time to waste because gotta eat, right? And, I’ve seen how those stories end, and they don’t end well, E- Dr. Mikaelson. They don’t end well. They end with 9-1-1 calls and the police that get there too late,” he breath hitched in her throat, and she swallowed back tears. “They don’t end well, and I don’t want that to be Layla’s case.”

“Not every case is the same, Dr. Marshall,” was all he said as he turned back to the films. Hayley pulled out her glasses and stepped closer to the films herself, though she was mostly watching Elijah. His expression was devoid of emotion as he looked at the films pensively.

“Well, her ankle’s a mess, will require surgery, it’s probably an older injury,” he began with a heavy sigh, and Hayley nodded. “Her arm needs to be put in a cast. Otherwise, she seems fine. She has no head injury, and the internal bleeding requires surgery, so I paged Marcel to meet us in the O.R.”

As she listened to Elijah, and looked at the X-ray, it suddenly occurred to her, and she gasped.

“Hayley?”

“CIPA!” she exclaimed.

“What?” Elijah, turned to her, confused.

“Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis,” she said. “It’s really rare! I mean, she did say it didn’t hurt, but I- I didn’t believe her, but… it makes sense!”

“Hayley, like you said, CIPA is very rare,” Elijah remarked, having understood what she meant.

“Yeah. She says she plays rough, and it shows, but that’s because she doesn’t feel the pain. She’s injured, but she doesn’t feel it. She has injuries from weeks ago that haven’t healed. I examined her, Dr. Mikaelson, and I’m pretty sure this girl has CIPA. I can perform a freeze test, too, but I’m sure of it,” she told him, more confidently now.

“Alright, do it. And, ask for Dr. Fell. She’s also a medical geneticist, she can do the test,” he told her. “I’ll meet you in the O.R. And, Marcel will be joining us for the surgery. I’d page general again, but I don’t want to cause issues.”

Hayley blushed, “err, I- I can be professional. I’m sorry about last time,” she said, averting her gaze.

“I’m sure you can be. But, I’d rather not risk the awkwardness. Besides, Marcel needs the O.R. time,” he told her, his voice less icy, but still devoid of emotion.

“Okay,” she nodded, then spun on her heel and ran back to the E.R. She told the nurses to get her a bowl of ice and paged for Meredith Fell.

“Are you Dr. Marshall?” someone asked from behind her. Hayley turned around to find a woman, slightly older than her, with blonde hair and bright green eyes and a kind demeanor.

“I am?” Hayley replied, though it sounded more like a question.

“I’m Dr. Cami O’Connell. Psych. I just did a psych eval on that little girl and her mom. Separately, of course,” she informed her.

“Oh. And?”

“Well, there is nothing more there, other than a mom trying to hold down two jobs to help provide for her daughter while taking care of her, and a little girl who is scared that she’s going to be taken away from her parents. Her dad works from morning to late evening, and she barely sees him as it is. Look, I know that there may have been some suspicious things but you had no reason to be so alarmed, and scare both the patient and her mother,” Cami told her, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief and confusion.

“All due respect, Dr. O’Connell, I did have reason to be concerned. And, that’s all I was. _Concerned_. The woman took that badly, and an argument started. I know I was out of line for engaging, but I was concerned. Because, sometimes the signs are so subtle, we don’t see them, but they’re there. And, if we miss them, then things usually don’t end well. Trust me, I’ve seen it before,” she argued, though she did her best to keep her tone even.

“I know. So, have I. But, it’s not the case this time,” Cami told her firmly. Her expression softened, “look, you are not social services, or psych. You’re a surgical resident. Please, do your job and let me do mine.” There was a long pause, and Hayley sighed.

“I sure as hell hope you’re right. But, Layla does need surgery, and _that_ is my job,” Hayley snapped, annoyed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to perform a test on Layla,” she said, and brushed past Cami without waiting for the other woman to say anything else.

A freeze test and a genetic test both established Layla had CIPA, and while Meredith talked to the mother about the disorder, Hayley rushed the patient to the O.R.

“I know you’re scared,” Hayley told her as they rolled her towards the O.R. “Surgery can be scary. My little girl had her appendix removed, and she was really scared. But, you get to sleep through it, and when you wake up, you’re all better!” she told her, rubbing her shoulder in comfort.

“And, will my mom be there when I woke up?”

“Of course, she will,” Hayley smiled. “I’m sure there’s nowhere she’d rather be.”

Layla nodded, and smiled, and Hayley smiled back, trying to put the poor child at ease.

* * *

After the surgery, the orderlies and nurses took Layla to the ICU while Hayley, Elijah and Marcel tossed their gloves and masks in the medical waste bins.

“Good work, Marshall,” Marcel told her, then left the scrub room, leaving only Hayley and Elijah. Silence descended between the two of them, as Elijah stared off into space while Hayley stared at the floor.

“You did good work, Hayley. And, I have seen those types of stories, too, trust me. But, it’s not always the case, and as a doctor you have to look at all the facts. But, good work on getting it, I- I didn’t think of CIPA, but you were right. Genetic test confirmed it,” he said slowly. Finally, Hayley looked up and met his gaze.

“I didn’t want to think the worst, Dr. Mikaelson. But, I did. And, yeah, I was wrong for assuming it, this time. But, I’ve- I had a little boy come in last year, and his parents kept telling me how they were the best parents, told me everything they did for him. He didn’t say much, he was shy, or at least I thought so. I put on a cast and sent him home. A few days later, there was a 9-1-1 call. The police got called to his address and they called the paramedics. They brought him in and-” she cut herself off as tears sprang to her eyes, and she swallowed them back, attempting to get ahold of herself. “They beat him almost to death… he was almost unrecognizable, and I- I could have done something…” she choked on a sob, and tears fell from her eyes. And then, Elijah had moved, and his arms were around her, holding her, and she let him, clinging to him as tears continued to fall down her cheeks. They remained like that for a few seconds before Elijah finally pulled away, and stepped back. Hayley’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“I- sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward,” he muttered, slightly embarrassed himself.

“It’s okay, I- thank you, sorry, I don’t know what came over me…” she trailed off, and bit her lip.

“Some cases hit us harder than others,” he shrugged. “And, I’m sorry about that little boy and countless others. But, Layla was different, and you figured out what was wrong with her, so be proud of yourself for that. Now, why don’t you go take a walk and calm down while I go inform the mother her daughter is going to be okay?” he suggested, flashing her a kind, yet tense smile.

“Yeah, that’s… sounds good. Thanks,” she said, flustered, blushing slightly. “I’ll see you later, Dr. Mikaelson,” she added as she left the scrub room and headed towards the stairs.

* * *

Elijah watched Hayley walk away, and sighed. He didn’t know what had happened, what had compelled him to hug her, but he had to admit it had felt nice to be so close to someone. She’d smelled like lavender, and something else, with a slight hint of antiseptic, but he didn’t mind it. On the contrary, it had felt good. Elijah shook himself, took off his scrub cap, and walked out of the O.R., heading in the direction of the waiting room, and saw Marcel walking in the same direction. He felt like he was in a trance as he and Marcel recounted how the surgery had gone to the mother, as she threw herself at both of them, hugging them and sobbing in relief. Luckily, Gia told the mother she would take her to see Layla, and the woman smiled in gratitude beneath her tears.

“Thank you, Dr. Mikaelson, Dr. Gerard. Thank you so much. And, thank- thank that hot-tempered doctor for figuring out what was wrong with my baby girl,” she said, choking on her tears.

“Sure, thing, Mrs. Carter,” Marcel smiled at her.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll drop by to see Layla later,” Elijah said to the woman, and she nodded, still teary eyed, and let Gia lead her towards the ICU. Marcel stopped before following after them.

“Hey, look, I know you don’t have much experience with kids, but when you treat a kid, you’re their advocate. Not, their parents’,” Marcel told him quietly. Elijah looked at him, and licked his lips.

“What are you trying to say, Marcel?” he asked tersely.

“I’m trying to- alright, look, despite her temper, Hayley _was_ trying to do just that. You shouldn’t have been so harsh on her. I know that you might not have been thinking clearly with this case considering everything with-” Marcel cut himself off, which wasn’t surprising. [His family still acted like they were walking on eggshells around Elijah sometimes, and especially when it had to do with Jonathan].

“With what? I’m not made of porcelain, Marcellus, you can say it,” Elijah said tensely.

“With Jonathan,” Marcel finally said, and Elijah flinched. “Considering what happened. I get that you were more on the mother’s side, which is fair, but when you work with kids you gotta advocate for them. And, Hayley was trying to do that. Maybe she overreacted, and went about it… not quite the right way, but she had the right intentions. Look, all I’m saying is you were a bit harsh, alright?” Marcel sighed, and flashed Elijah a sympathetic smile. Elijah nodded.

“Thank you for letting me know, Marcellus,” he replied.

“Okay, I gotta go. I’ll see you soon, Elijah,” the other man said, and clapped him lightly on the shoulder before he left towards the ICU. Elijah sighed, and decided to go outside, needing to get some air.

[Well, what he really wanted to do was drink, but if he did, he’d lose this job. And, this job was the one thing that kept him going day in and day out]. So, instead he took a seat on one of the benches outside the hospital, and exhaled heavily. 

It wasn’t really the case that bothered him, and he was glad for the good outcome. No, what he couldn’t stop thinking about was the story Hayley told about the little boy who had died from the neglect and abuse his parents inflicted on him. But, every time he closed his eyes he didn’t see that little boy like Hayley had described him, but instead he saw Jonathan the way he’d looked when the hospital had called him and he’d arrived, still drunk, and saw his little boy on a stretcher. His colleagues, friends, were all working hard to bring him back, but Elijah had known, even in his drunken haze, he’d known Jonathan wasn’t going to wake up. Elijah closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, willing the memory away. The memory, of course, never really went away, always in the back of his mind, ready to come to the forefront.

“Can I sit?” The voice sounded so much like that of his ex-wife, and in his haze, Elijah thought it was. His eyes snapped open, but instead he was greeted by the concerned expression of his former sister-in-law.

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. “E- Elena,” he greeted, sounding slightly choked.

“Elijah? Hey, are you okay?” the resident asked worriedly as she plopped down on the bench beside him.

“Y- yeah, I’m fine. Just a case,” he told her, his chest constricting slightly. Elena nodded in understanding. “How did your surgery go?”

“Almost lost him, but he made it,” she sighed. “We’re monitoring him closely, see if he makes it through the night.

“That’s good,” he nodded. “And, that family drama?”

“Oh, you know the usual Petrova family drama,” she rolled her eyes. “Damon keeps telling me to just forget it, but I can’t. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I grew up in Bulgaria, but… Katherine says I wouldn’t have the life I do now if I did. She’s probably right, older siblings tend to be,” she scoffed, and didn’t notice the way he tenses at the mention of his ex-wife. “Besides, I have a family.”

“You do. Family isn’t just blood, Elena, you should know that,” he added, looking out in the distance sadly.

“Yeah, you’re right. I just wish my biological family wasn’t complicated, you know?”

“Yeah. I can understand that.” They fell in silence, both of them seemingly lost in thought.

“I spoke to Katherine, you know,” Elena said after a while. Elijah tensed at the mention of Katherine.

“Elena, I don’t-” he attempted to stop her, to steer the conversation in another direction, but Elena continued.

“She asked about you. Elijah, look I get that you’re mad at her, I get that there might not be any hope for you two, but she- she lost a child, too. Katherine, despite her many faults, loved Jonathan, you know that. And, she’s in pain, too, I-” he cut her off, unable to hear anymore.

“And, what would you like me to do, Elena? What am I supposed to do?” he snapped.

“Just- just talk to her, Elijah. We live in the age of FaceTime and such, you can just call her and talk about Jonathan,” Elena said kindly, ignoring his harsh tone.

“I don’t- I can’t,” he stumbled over his words, and swallowed back tears. “I cannot talk to Katerina because I cannot forgive her. What she did… it was unforgivable,” he added in a cold tone.

“Oh, c’mon, Elijah!” Elena exclaimed. “It was an accident. And, speaking of unforgivable… the only reason Katherine was picking up Jonathan was because y-” she shot back, but Elijah cut her off, unable to hear the hard truth.

“I’m aware why she was picking him up!” he snapped, tears threatening to fall, but he blinked them back. He wouldn’t cry here, not now. “I know I had my own role in what happened. But, that doesn’t mean I forgive her. Maybe that makes me a monster, but it is the truth. I cannot forgive her, and I cannot forgive myself.” He stood up, and met Elena’s sad gaze. “Please stop trying to fix this, Elena, it can’t be fixed. Jonathan is gone and he’s not coming back… this can’t be fixed,” he added in an icy tone.

“Fine, Elijah,” she hissed, pursing her lips.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have patients to get back to,” he added, and turned around, heading back inside.

* * *

The rest of his day was a few scheduled surgeries and consults, which passed by in a blur, and before Elijah knew it, the day was over. He packed his things, and grabbed his blazer and coat since he’d already changed into a clean shirt and pants before his consults, and locked his office. But, before leaving he decided to talk to Hayley, and not leave it for the next day. He’d seen her around a few times, but they didn’t have any more cases together since Layla.

“Could you page Dr. Marshall for me, Sabine?” he requested from the nurse on the Ortho floor.

“Right away, doctor,” she nodded, and Elijah leaned against the nurse’s desk, waiting for her. Sure enough, five minutes later, Hayley Marshall appeared, still in her scrubs, her hair now neatly twisted in a bun, likely after a surgery.

“Dr. Mikaelson, you paged?” she asked as soon as she spotted him, and Elijah couldn’t help but notice the slightly flushed look on her face. He wondered if it was from running to the Ortho floor from the O.R. floor, or if it was him. [He hadn’t missed her reaction when he’d helped her with her gown in the E.R., the way she’d shivered when he’d touched her, the way her breath had hitched in her throat upon seeing him. He’d reacted similarly, too, but had done his best to reign it in. He was an attending, and she was a resident after all].

“Yes. Hi,” he looked at her, and met her gaze, and Hayley visibly relaxed, a small smile appearing on her face. “I was wondering if we could talk.”

“Uh, hi. Sure,” she agreed, panting slightly. She paused, slightly confused and unsure as to where this conversation would happen, but he straightened himself and began heading in the direction of the stairs.

“Come with me, I know a place,” he told her, leading her towards the stairs. Hayley panted behind him as she struggled to catch up while he walked quickly up the stairs. She stopped right behind him, and when he opened the door to reveal the rooftop, she gasped.

“Wow… this place is- I didn’t know there were views like this in New Orleans. Granted, I haven’t even been here for long, but… just wow…” she said, and her hazel eyes lit up in astonishment as she took it all in. He walked out to the edge of the roof and rested his hands on it. Moments later, she joined him, her eyes still drifting around, taking everything in.

“It’s quite beautiful indeed,” he agreed. _But, not as beautiful as you,_ a voice in the back of his head said, but he pushed it down. [It was too soon; he’d only just met her; it was impossible for him to feel this way. And, besides, it’s not like Hayley would actually be interested. She might be in for a date, or something, but certainly nothing long-term. The moment she would see his damage, and know of all his problems, including that he was a recovering alcoholic, she’d run for the hills. And, there was the problem of her and Niklaus’ possible child]. Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling an oncoming headache.

“So, what is that you wanted?” Hayley asked, having fully admired the view. “Or, did you just want to take me here to show me this beauty?”

He chuckled, and rolled his eyes. “There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I suppose the view is an added bonus, or the only upside, you tell me,” he told her, and averted his gaze as he tried to figure out how to tell Hayley he knew about her and Klaus, and ask her about what had happened with the child.

“Sure, go ahead,” she nodded for him to continue.

“I know- well, I’m not sure quite how to approach this, and I’m sure there is no perfect way, but- I know what happened between you and Niklaus. He told me. He wasn’t particularly keen on that, either, but well… he told me you two were involved-” Hayley cut him off with a scoff.

“We had sex, Elijah. There was nothing romantic, or whatever. We were drunk and horny and had sex,” she remarked drily, rolling her eyes.

“Right, yes. I knew that, but well, Niklaus might be more vulgar, but I try not to be. Forgive me,” he sighed, and was sure he was blushing, too. Hayley chuckled, but nodded for him to keep going. “And, I know about the- well, I figured out Klaus got you pregnant and he told me that he didn’t take it very well,” he paused, and sighed heavily.

“By not take it well, you mean that he told me he wanted nothing to do with it, right?” she cut in. He nodded, vaguely.

“And, well, I heard you earlier, too, talking to the mother. And, you slipped up, around me too when you were venting about Layla’s mom. So, I guess I am wondering if you had his child, or…” he trailed off, and sighed.

There was a pregnant pause before Hayley finally broke the silence. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. I had that baby. A daughter. At first I was going to abort, but then I- I was sitting there, and I realized that maybe I didn’t have a family because my adoptive parents kicked me out when I was thirteen, but I did have a family in this baby. So, I chose to have her. She’s my family. She’s my everything,” she finally said, choking slightly on the last part, and he noticed her eyes were glassy with tears. “So, congrats, your theory was correct!” she added with fake cheerfulness.

“Thank you for telling me, Hayley. And, I apologize for how Niklaus behaved. He can be a dick sometimes, I’m sure you’ve noticed. He may have had his reasons, I don’t know, and I won’t apologize for him. He’s had it quite rougher than the rest of us, too,” Elijah tried to explain, but kept from telling Hayley exactly why Niklaus had it rougher than the other Mikaelson children without actually telling her. That was for Niklaus himself to tell.

“Thank you, Elijah. Thank you for coming to me about this. And, please don’t tell Klaus,” she said, and the way she was looking at him, her beautiful hazel eyes staring deeply into his, Elijah didn’t want to ever hurt this woman. [Knowing him, he would hurt her somehow. It was inevitable].

“Okay, I won’t. But, you have to tell him Hayley. He may have acted like a dick when you told him you were pregnant, but he’s not the same person. He’s a good man, Hayley. You should tell him. I won’t. But, you should,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes. Her hand was inches away from his arms, and part of him wondered what it would feel like for her to touch him, to feel her skin on his. He knew what it felt like to hold her, but he couldn’t help it. He scolded himself for entertaining those thoughts, reminded himself that he would somehow ruin it all, and decided he would still be there for her with this whole Niklaus situation. “Just so you know, I’m here. I’ll be there for you, okay?” She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Elijah tried not to stare at those lips too much.

“Thank you, Elijah. But, now I have to go.”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he agreed, and flashed her a small smile. Hayley smiled back and headed to the door. But, before she could leave completely, he stopped her. “Hayley?”

“Yeah?” she glanced at him, but didn’t turn around.

“What is her name?”

She knew who ‘her’ was. She turned around, and smiled, “her name is Hope.”

 _Hope._ Elijah smiled as he watched her walk away. He stood on the rooftop for a few more minutes before heading back down himself. As he walked out, he saw Camille and Niklaus leaving the hospital, arms wrapped around each other. Camille noticed him, and turned to wave.

“Ah, brother. What are you up to?” Klaus asked, smirking slightly.

“Niklaus, Camille,” he nodded at them both. “I’m off, heading to a meeting,” he told them. Camille smiled softly at him, and his brother nodded sympathetically.

“Well, take care of yourself, Elijah. And, Rebekah told me that Mother is coming to town tomorrow, and she’d like a family dinner,” Klaus informed him, and Elijah almost groaned. “She hopes you’ll join us, too,” Klaus added, smirking, and Elijah was sure he was taking great pleasure in that.

“We’ll see,” was all he said, shrugging. “Anyways, I have to go. Goodbye, Niklaus. Camille,” he said, then turned and left, leaving the happy couple behind him.


	3. Can't Pretend It's Okay When It's Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cami finds out about how Klaus knows Hayley and why Elijah might be pissed at Klaus. Hayley meets another Mikaelson, Kol and finds out just how the Mikaelsons are related. And, Elijah is forced to attend a family dinner which ends in typical Mikaelson fashion.

Cami watched Elijah walk away, then turned to Klaus, who had a faraway look in his eyes. 

“Did you two fight?” she asked her boyfriend. [It wasn’t that Elijah’s behavior was particularly concerning; ever since he’d come back from his army tour, he was cold and distant, though it didn’t take much for Cami to know that the guilt and grief were eating him inside. Still, this seemed different, like there was something else].

“Well, no more than usual,” Klaus quipped, slightly amused, though Cami knew he was worried, too. She scoffed, and rolled her eyes.

“Why am I not surprised?” she asked, rhetorically, and sighed. “I mean, I’m no longer surprised by his cold attitude, but I feel like this was something else,” she added thoughtfully, and saw a look flit across Klaus’ face, and immediately understood there _was_ something else. And, Klaus knew what it was. “Klaus,” she said carefully, meeting his gaze.

“What?”

“You know what,” she retorted. Klaus said nothing for several long seconds, then opened his mouth, but closed it, hesitating. Now, Cami was worried because Klaus never really kept anything from her. [He’d changed a lot from when they’d first met, in the Quarter watching an artist painting, back when he’d been the guy who paid her a hundred dollars for a drink, and she’d been the Brave Bartender as he still liked to call her]. She looked at him carefully, and Klaus met her gaze. “Klaus,” she repeated his name, “what is it? You know you can tell me, right? I mean, if not for being your girlfriend, then for being your former therapist, you know you can trust me,” she remarked, and Klaus chuckled, and snaked his arms around her.

“I know. I know that, Camille,” he said softly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and she smiled back. “And, I do trust you,” he added, as if for good measure. “It’s just- it was a long time ago. Before you. Before you… changed me, Camille,” he said slowly, and she furrowed her brows in confusion. “Back when I was an angry, damaged arse,” he paused, and she scoffed.

“You’re still an ass, sometimes,” she quipped, and he rolled his eyes.

“Well, back then, I- I met a girl in a bar.”

“How original,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. Klaus mock-glared at her, so she stopped and let him keep going.

“We enjoyed quite a few drinks, got pissed really, and slept together at her place,” he finally admitted, and now Cami couldn’t help but laugh because her boyfriend’s reluctance to tell her about having a one-night stand was kind of ridiculous. [Unless, of course it wasn’t a one-night stand, but knowing Klaus it probably was. Back then, that was his idea of intimacy].

“You had a one-night stand? That’s what you’re struggling to tell me?” she asked, her tone light, and punched his arm lightly. Klaus laughed too, his blue eyes shining with amusement.

“Well, the way you put it, love, it does sound ridiculous,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Well, it is kind of ridiculous. I mean, c’mon, I knew you weren’t a saint, and it’s not like I was Virgin Mary, either,” she rolled her eyes, and scoffed. “So, what’s the issue? And, what’s it got to do with Elijah, and whatever argument you two may or may not have had?” she wondered, squinting slightly in confusion, then, paused, realization dawning on her. “No! Tell me you didn’t- Katherine?”

Klaus stared at her in shock, and made a sound that was something between laughter and choking while Cami stared at him appalled. [It was the only thing that would make sense, really, because Cami honestly couldn’t comprehend how a one-night stand had made Klaus so flustered]. Klaus said nothing, and she gave him a pointed look, and he laughed before finally calming down. “Katherine? Hell no. That wasn’t me. My one-night stand was the cause of my big brother’s disappointment because I got her pregnant and told her to do what she wanted with it because I wasn’t interested,” he finally said, a hint of amusement and guilt in his voice. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she sighed heavily.

“Wow… you really were a narcissistic ass back then,” she remarked, scoffing. “But, did it really take this long for Elijah to find out and be disappointed in you?”

“Well, it just so happens that said girl is Hayley Marshall, our newest resident transfer. And, she had no idea Elijah and I were related until after surgery, and still doesn’t know exactly how related we are,” he informed her. Cami groaned.

“Ugh. Hayley? Seriously? I met her today, and well, I kind of feel bad for her. She’s nice, you know. Overreacted a little during a case, but happens to the best of us. Of all the girls…” she trailed off, shaking her head, and rolled her eyes.

Klaus sighed, “well, I told you, you changed me, love. I was a bad boy, and then I met you, my Brave Bartender, and you changed me,” he said softly. “You stayed my hand, quelled my rage, you fixed all my broken, damaged pieces… you inspired goodness in me, Camille. You changed me, you changed my life forever,” he added, his voice thick with emotion.

“You’re such a sap sometimes, Klaus Mikaelson,” she smiled and reached to cup his cheeks, leaning closer to him. He met her lips halfway, his hands on her back, pulling her closer, as she wrapped her own around his neck and pressed herself to him. It was a gentle, yet lingering kiss, their lips molded with each other, tongues tangled together. Finally, when air became a necessity, she pulled away, and rubbed her nose against his, but Klaus continued to hold her. “You might be a narcissistic ass, but I think you’re pretty likable,” she added, smirking slightly.

“Shall we go home, love?”

“Yes. Let’s go home and pick up some Chinese on the way. We can have a nice night in,” she suggested, and he nodded. They began walking to his car, arms wrapped around each other. The drive home was in comfortable silence, and they stopped by their favorite place to pick up some Chinese before driving to their flat in the Quarter. Cami laid out the food while Klaus brought out their drinks, bourbon for him, red wine for her, and they sunk in their antique couch, her feet in his lap.

“I feel like there was something else, though,” she said after a while, taking a sip of her wine.

“Something else?” he wondered, then realization dawned on his face when he glanced at her. “Oh. Elijah. Right.”

“Yeah. I don’t think it was just because of your past bad boy behaviors, Klaus. It’s not like you slept with Katherine,” she told him with a pointed look, and Klaus just snorted. “It’s probably something else,” she added with a sigh.

“Probably. Who knows. I mean, knowing Elijah could be anything, really. Perhaps he had a case that hit a little too hard, I don’t know,” Klaus shrugged. “Want some more wine?”

She shook her head, “bourbon, actually,” she requested, and he stood up to refill their glasses as she finished the last of the noodles. He returned and wrapped his arm around her, and she leaned her head on his shoulder while soft, jazzy music played from the record player. Once they both finished their bourbon, they put their glasses on the coffee table, and then Klaus pulled her closer, and she wrapped her hands around his neck, throwing one leg across his lap as he cupped her ass and pulled her on top of him. And then, his lips were on hers, soft and gentle at first, then more urgent, demanding, and she kissed him back, her own lips engaged in the frenzy, her tongue dueling with his while she moved fully on top of him. Klaus began unbuttoning her silk shirt while she worked on the zipper and button of his jeans. Then, to her surprise, before their activities could go further on the couch, Klaus picked her up.

She squealed in surprise, and broke the kiss. “Klaus, what are you doing?” she asked him, though she was partly amused.

“I am taking you to bed, Dr. O’Connell. Hope you don’t mind,” he informed her, smirking deviously, his blue eyes shining with mischief.

“I don’t mind at all, Dr. Mikaelson. Not at all,” she mumbled against his neck and let him carry her to their bedroom and lay her on the bed before he climbed on top of her himself. She resumed to kiss him as soon as he was within reach, and moaned against his lips when his fingers touched a particularly sensitive spot.

* * *

After her talk with Elijah on the roof, and revealing her daughter’s existence and name to someone who was somehow related to the father of her child, Hayley was glad not to have anything to do, and went to sleep in one of the on-call rooms. She ended up getting almost three hours of uninterrupted, blissful sleep before she was paged to run a code, then to the E.R. The patient, a victim of an act of sheer stupidity per EMT reports, kept coding, and Hayley kept performing CPR and trying to resuscitate him with the defibrillator, but nothing.

“Page cardio STAT!” she yelled as she continued her movements while other doctors tried to take care of the other injuries.

Finally, after several long minutes, which had probably been less than it felt like, a resident arrived.

“Somebody paged cardio STAT?” he asked in a British accent while a nurse helped him with the yellow gown and gloves.

Hayley glanced at him incredulously. “We paged for cardio. Not the on-call resident,” she snapped. “Charge to 300,” she hissed at the nurse, and moved her hands away. “Clear!” she shouted and clicked on the defibrillator’s handles to deliver the shock, but nothing.

“And, I just so happen to be a cardio resident and currently on call. Won’t do better than me, love,” the resident retorted, smirking smugly at her.

Hayley huffed, and rolled her eyes, but gave in, “fine. If that’s the best we can do. I’m Hayley by the way. Haley Marshall. Fourth year surgical. Just transferred. Nice to meet you,” she said, panting as she continued with CPR on the patient.

“Kol Mikaelson, charmed,” he – Kol – introduced himself. Hayley’s eyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say anything at first. “Now, let’s open this guy up before there’s truly no hope for him,” he ordered. “Scalpel!” he demanded. Hayley, too jumped into action, moving to the patient’s other side.

“Mikaelson? Seriously?!” she exclaimed, shocked. “Just how many of you are there?” she asked as she and Kol continued to work, their hands moving in sync. Kol looked up briefly, and chuckled, but remained concentrated on what he was doing.

“Seven, all total,” Kol asked, nonchalantly. “There’s four of us working at this hospital. Freya – OB/GYN and fetal/neonatal surgeon, she’s head of Neonatal Surgery department. Then, Elijah, he’s in Ortho. Then, Klaus, who's in general. And, me. I’m a third year cardio resident, I decided to just go for cardio, and not waste with rotations, had enough of that in med school,” he finished, and rolled his eyes theatrically. “We also have three more siblings who aren’t doctors. Rebekah’s a lawyer, though she does specialize in medical law and medical malpractice suits, Henrik’s still in school, and Finn’s doing whatever he’s doing nowadays,” Kol added with a shrug.

Hayley just stared at him as what he said finally clicked. “Wait,” she paused, her eyebrows furrowing, “so, you’re telling me you’re all…”

“Siblings. Yes,” he shrugged.

“I see,” she muttered. [Siblings. All of them. Which meant that Elijah, the guy who kept giving her the best kind of chills, wasn't just related to her daughter - he was her freaking _uncle_ ]. “Damn it,” she cursed under her breath as the patient’s chest cavity filled with blood. “Give me the suction!” she yelled. “Kol, little help here!”

As hard as she and Kol tried, their patient didn’t make it, and the two of them reemerged from the trauma room covered in blood and sweat. They separated at the showers, after bidding each other ‘goodbye’, and after showering and washing all the blood off herself, Hayley went to check on Layla and some of her other patients before going to do some run some labs and such things. The rest of her shift passed by quickly, and before she knew it, it was over and she was changing out of her scrubs in the residents’ locker room.

“Hey, Marshall, how was your first shift?” Keelin Malraux, one of the residents in her ear asked.

“Not bad. A lot more high-paced than my previous hospital, but I liked it,” she replied, smiling kindly at the other woman.

“Cool. Up for some day drinking? Elena, me, Gia and Sophie are going to Russeau’s, it’s close by. Wanna join?” Keelin asked her, smiling widely, as she finished changing. Hayley sighed. [No matter how much she wanted to relax and drink with the others, she had things to do, and she’d promised Hope they’d spend the evening together].

“Sorry, Keelin. Would love to join, but I’ve got shit to do and my kid’s waiting for me,” she said, offering Keelin a small smile.

“Kid? Damn, girl!” Keelin exclaimed, clearly shocked, but still kept smiling. “Didn’t really peg you for the single mom type, no offense. We’re all here waiting for Baby Salvatore,” she added, winking at Elena as she said it. As far as Hayley knew, Elena’s last name was Gilbert, but maybe her husband’s or partner’s was Salvatore. _Who was she to judge?_

“None taken. It’s really not a big deal. A really short story titled drunk one-night stand. But, it’s fine, I- I don’t really regret it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world,” she said, shrugging.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it!” Elena smiled at her. “And, I’ve been telling Keelin that I don’t want to start trying until I’m an attending. I mean, Damon and I are not not trying, but we’re not actually trying either if that makes sense. For now, Baby Salvatore is all in Keelin’s head,” Elena explained, chucking while Keelin rolled her eyes. “You’ll have to find a babysitter though, and join us for drinks another time.”

“Sure, will do,” Hayley agreed. “Anyways, I’ve got to go, it was nice meeting you all!” she said, and grabbed her bags, waving at them as she left/

After going home and showering, she slept for a few more hours, then got dressed and went to buy groceries, stocking up the fridge. She unpacked a few things, and cleaned the living room area, preparing it for her and Hope’s movie night. Then, she went to pick up Hope from Josh and Aiden’s flat. Josh opened the door.

“Hey, Hales,” he greeted her, and pulled her in for a hug she returned eagerly.

“Hey, Josh! It’s good to see you!”

“Mommy!” Hope yelled in greeting as her small feet thumped against the floor while she raced towards her from the other room. Hayley opened her arms widely and crouched to catch her daughter in her arms, and Hope slammed into her, wrapping her own small arms around her, and they hugged for several long seconds before finally letting go of each other.

“Hey, sweetie!” Hayley smiled at her, and kissed her forehead. “I missed you, kiddo!”

“I missed you, too, mommy! But, it was really nice hanging with Josh and Aiden; Josh let me paint his nails and Aiden came to my tea party!” Hope recounted happily, her eyes shining with excitement.

“That’s awesome, thanks guys!” she chuckled.

Aiden came into view, too, leaning against the doorframe. “Hey, Hales,” he greeted her, and she smiled.

“Hey, Aiden! Come give me a hug!” she exclaimed, untangling herself from Hope to hug her best friend. “Honestly, you guys are life-saviors, thank you so much. I promise I’ll figure out a babysitter, too,” she added, the last part a little guiltily.

“It’s no problem, Hales, honestly,” the couple told her, shrugging.

“We love having her,” Josh added. They chatted for a short while, but Hope started pointedly mentioning their movie night, to which Aiden and Josh weren’t invited _no offense_ , and Hayley decided to avoid a tantrum.

“Well, Hope, you ready for our mommy-daughter date? Let’s leave Josh and Aiden to it, and go spend some quality time together!” she told Hope cheerfully, turning to face her, and brushed her hair gently.

“Okay, mommy!” Hope agreed, grinning widely. “Bye, Josh, bye, Aiden!” she said, giving each of them a hug before joining Hayley once more. Hayley made sure they had everything before the two of them left home. They ordered pizza, and Hayley let Hope cuddle into her side while Frozen was playing on the TV in front of them, and at some point she must have fallen asleep, too. 

* * *

Elijah sighed as he took off his mask and gloves after a grueling surgery that had not ended well. Unfortunately, his patient went into V-fib and didn’t resuscitate, so Elijah was now left with the task of breaking the news to the family. He’d had two surgeries in the morning, then a few consults, and now this surgery, and he was ready to go to sleep. He’d managed to get an hour of sleep in an on-call room, but then got paged for a consult in the Pit.

“Elijah! Brother!” He turned to find Niklaus walking towards him, and wondered if Hayley had told him about Hope, but decided to stay silent.

“Niklaus, what is it?” he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“So, Rebekah called and informed me that Mother isn’t the only one coming here. Father and Henrik are joining her. They’re actually already in the city. Mother has to attend to her engagement, and Father and Henrik are walking around, or Father is sleeping and Henrik is playing on his Nintendo Switch. In any case, Rebekah informed me that tonight will be a proper family dinner at her place,” his brother told him, and Elijah groaned, already feeling a headache coming on.

“I assume we’re all expected to attend?”

“Of course, God save us all. I suppose the only one spared is Finn, and that’s because he’s in Europe on business. Otherwise, he’d be here kissing Mother’s arse-”

“Niklaus!” he snapped, sighing in exasperation.

“What? It’s true!” Klaus shrugged, and rolled his eyes. “Anyways, our dear baby sister made it a point of asking me to inform you of this change of plans, and remind you to attend,” he added. When he hesitated to say something, Niklaus’ tone softened, “look, I know, you’d rather be home, or at the gym punching the hell out of a punching bag, and that having dinner with the family is the last thing you want to do, but we are your family, Elijah. And, this dinner is important even if it means being in the same room with the perpetually disappointed parents.” Elijah sighed heavily. “On the bright side, Father is continuously disappointed in me for merely existing, so with any luck you won’t end up on the receiving end of the ‘disappointed Mikaelson parents look’,” Klaus added with a smirk.

“Fine, I’ll endure it. If only for your sake, Niklaus and for our dear baby sister who is likely already preparing for the Mikaelson family dinner,” he finally said, not particularly enthusiastic.

“We appreciate it, truly,” Klaus retorted. “Where are you off to now?”

“To tell my patient’s family their great aunt died in surgery,” he said, completely deadpan. “She was seventy, and the hip replacement surgery… she threw a clot, and her heart couldn’t take it.”

“I’m sorry. How terrible,” Klaus said seriously. “At least she was old,” he added, and Elijah scowled, very much wanting to punch him.

“Niklaus!” he hissed.

“What?” Klaus looked at him innocently. Elijah just shook his head.

“Sometimes, I truly wonder how you’re a doctor,” he remarked, and Klaus chuckled, amused. “I’ll see you later then,” he added, turning to go.

“Yes, see you later, brother. I’ve been told that if you don’t show up, I’m to come to yours and drag you to Bekah’s myself,” Klaus grinned, a hint of mischief in his eyes.

“Goodbye, Niklaus!” Elijah called behind him as he walked to the waiting room.

“Dr. Mikaelson!” the family stood up, teary eyed, yet relieved to see him. “How is she? When can we see her?” they demanded, and Elijah sighed, keeping his expression unreadable.

“I regret to inform you, but Michelle didn’t make it. Her heart just couldn’t take it, and she threw a clot, we did everything we could, but couldn’t bring her back. I am truly sorry,” he told them, his voice neutral, though with a hint of sadness. One of the siblings, from what he remembered her name was Louisa, collapsed in tears, and her sister sunk onto the chair beside her, throwing her arms around her in comfort. One of the brothers just stood there, his expression blank, while the other seemed devastated, and for a while nobody said anything. “I am truly sorry,” he added, as if for good measure.

“Wh-” the brother with the blank expression stepped forward, and cleared his throat, “when can we see her?” he finally asked.

“Now, if you wish. I’ll have the nurse show you there,” he said. Gia, who had been in surgery with him, was just walking by, so he called for her. “Gia, would you be so kind as to take these ladies and gentlemen to say goodbye to Michelle Peterson? The hip surgery we just did?” he asked her.

“Uh, sure. No problem. Please follow me,” she said, and began leading them back to the O.R. The two brothers walked in front, the two sisters, weeping together, behind. Elijah sighed sadly, and took another glance around the waiting room of tired, sad, hopeful faces, and felt a sudden loathing for his job. [He knew death was a part of it, that sometimes it happened, but sometimes he really hated this part of his job. Still, he couldn’t do anything about it]. With a heavy sigh, he took off his scrub cap, his plain army green one, and ran a hand through his messy hair before turning on his heel and heading for his office to deal with some admin work.

He worked for a bit before his next surgery, but was stopped on his way to the O.R. by Aya, the head of the Ortho department.

“Elijah, hey,” she greeted him.

“Aya, hello,” he glanced over at her. “How can I help? I have a surgery scheduled for right now,” he told her, and grabbed his scrub cap from his pocket, but Aya stopped him.

“Actually, you don’t. I’m doing that surgery,” she informed him.

“What? Why?”

“Because you have something this evening, and I am being a very nice boss and taking your surgery, which let’s admit isn’t the most interesting one, so you can be free to go home and get ready,” she informed him, shrugging casually.

“And, by something this evening, you mean Mikaelson family dinner?” he asked, and she nodded. “Which one of my siblings put you up to it?”

“Does it matter?” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get family drama, and I’m sure family dinner has a lot of it, but you have to go. As the Head of Ortho aka your boss, and your friend, I am telling you to go,” she said firmly, and Elijah groaned. Apparently, there was no getting out of it.

“How wonderful. My family and my boss ganging up on me just for a dinner,” he rolled his eyes. “Well, thank you, Aya. Good luck with the surgery,” he added, then turned around and left to change and get his things.

* * *

Since he had no choice in it, Elijah played along and went home and showered, put on a suit, and dropped by the store to buy Rebekah a bottle of red wine. At precisely 2000, he arrived at Rebekah and Marcel’s flat. When he entered, most of the others were already there. Rebekah greeted him at the door.

“Elijah, hi!” she beamed, and they exchanged cheek kisses.

“This is for you,” he said, handing her the bottle, causing her to raise her eyebrows in surprise. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. I didn’t buy anything for myself, if you’re worried,” he quipped, his tone lighter.

“I wasn’t- thank you, Elijah,” Rebekah said graciously. “I’m so glad you could make it. We’re still waiting on Kol and Freya, but Cami and Klaus are already here, and so are our parents of course,” she said, and her smile became more tense at the end.

“Of course. Well, you lot ganged up on me, so I kind of had no choice. But, here I am,” he shrugged. Marcel came over to greet him, and took his coat.

“Hey, Elijah,” he said, shaking his hand.

“Hello, Marcellus, thanks.”

“C’mon, Elijah, we’re just having nibbles for now, dinner will be served shortly,” Rebekah said, looping her arm through his. Once they entered the living room and kitchen area, she let go, and turned to Camille, “Cami, love, did you manage to find out when Freya was coming?”

“No, but I’ll try her again. I was making sure your steak wouldn’t burn,” Cami informed her. “Hey, Elijah!” she called out to him.

“Brother, hello!” Niklaus greeted him from where he sat on the couch with Henrik, both of them engrossed in some sort of game on the PlayStation.

“Hey, ‘Lijah!” Henrik called out, just as engrossed by the game as his older brother.

“Hello,” he greeted them, flashing them all a small, tense smile.

“Son,” his father nodded at him while his mother looked him up and down.

“Father,” he greeted him, giving him a curt nod as well. “How was the trip?”

“Oh, it was fine. A little exhausting, but fine. Henrik and I relaxed in the hotel while your mother went to her event,” his father said. “And, how are you? How is work?”

“Oh, it’s fine. Not bad.”

“Are you adjusting well after the army?” There was a hint of condescension in Mikael’s voice, and Elijah had to keep from rolling his eyes. [His parents hadn’t been particularly approving of his joining the military after he got sober following Jonathan’s death. But, Elijah had needed an escape, and joining the army as an army surgeon had been the best option].

“I’m adjusting just fine, thank you. Sometimes, I find it a little strange, but it’s fine,” he told him.

“Hello, Elijah,” his mother greeted him, coming into the living room from the kitchen and embraced him, exchanging cheek kisses. “How are you holding up, darling?”

“Hello, Mother. I’m fine, thank you,” he told her in the same monotone voice he’d used with his father. “How are you? How was your event?”

“Oh, it was just wonderful! Such a great panel, it was truly wonderful,” she said cheerfully before launching into a detailed account of the event, a spiritual healing conference.

The doorbell rang, and Marcel went to answer it, and returned with both Freya and Kol, and Elijah was saved from having to talk to his parents, so he went to Rebekah and Camille. Camille was talking to Rebekah though while his sister flitted about the kitchen.

“Cami, love, want a refill?” Rebekah asked, indicating Camille’s empty glass. Then, she seemed to realize his presence, and turned to him. “Elijah, do you mind if we drink?” she asked.

“It’s fine, go ahead,” he smiled tensely at them. “So, how is work, Rebekah.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Busy,” she shrugged as she refilled Cami’s glass and her own. Suddenly there was a crash, then an explosion of yelling as Henrik cheered while Niklaus groaned, and Elijah glanced at the duo in amusement.

“Niklaus, for heaven’s sake, you’re a grown man, stop playing games. Henrik, why don’t you play by yourself?” Mikael bellowed from across the room while Freya and Esther were talking.

“But, are you a grown man, Nik?” Kol quipped before jumping over to them and plopping down on the couch. “Henrik, let’s play. Leave Niklaus, he’s not quite so advanced,” Kol chuckled, then, “ow, what the hell, Nik?” when Klaus tossed a pillow at his head.

“Language, Kol!” Estheer bellowed, and Elijah rolled his eyes yet again. Freya joined them, and they exchanged a quick hug.

“We’re having wine?” she half-asked, though her expression was delighted.

“Want some?” Rebekah asked cheerfully. Freya raised an eyebrow, and glanced over at him, and Elijah desperately wanted to face palm.

“I’m not fragile, Freya. I’m perfectly fine, I went to a meeting yesterday,” he told her, rolling his eyes.

“Just checking, brother, relax,” Freya said.

“Red or white, Freya?”

“White for me, thanks.”

Rebekah filled a glass with white wine, and handed it to Freya, who took a sip.

“How is work, Freya?” he asked her, accepting the glass of water from Cami.

“Fine. Would be even better if I didn’t have to deal with Aurora de Martel, and if they didn’t page me for every single birth, but it’s fine. I get that I’m an OB, but I’m also a surgeon. But, apparently that piece of information hasn’t made it across,” she rolled her eyes.

Marcel was now in the kitchen while Camille went to sit by Klaus and make sure any conversation between Klaus and Mikael wouldn’t end badly, and Kol and Henrik were still playing.

“Marcel, what the bloody hell are you doing with these vegetables?” Rebekah shrieked, sounding both horrified and pissed. “Are you trying to ruin this?”

“Sorry, Bekah, I was just tryna help!” Marcel exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Elijah and Freya just watched, amused.

“You know what? Everybody get out of my kitchen, I’m going to finish this and we’ll sit down soon! Now, shoo!” she yelled waving her hands, and finally the three of them left the kitchen and joined those in the living room.

Thankfully, Rebekah managed to finish dinner by herself, and soon everyone was sitting around at the table while Marcel was called upon to help her bring out the dishes. Elijah found himself sitting between Freya and Niklaus.

“Marcel, love, do you mind filling the glasses?” Rebekah requested of her boyfriend while she began dishing out the food. Elijah passed down the bread basket, since it was closest to him, and accepted the salad bowl

“Is that such a good idea?” their mother asked, and all eyes turned to him, while he glanced over at her. [His mother was the third person to ask the question, and Elijah could have been touched by her being so considerate if she wasn’t being so condescending].

“Yes, Mother, I’m fine,” he sighed, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Seriously. I’ve been sober for almost two years and a half. I go to AA meetings, and I have a sponsor. So, I’m fine, thank you for your concern,” he told them, slightly exasperated because his family’s lack of trust in him was getting on his nerves. The table descended in silence, and his siblings kept glancing between him and his parents, though none of them actually met his gaze.

Rebekah cleared her throat, and flashed Marcel a pointed look, prompting him to fill everyone’s glasses except for his and Henrik’s.

“Well, then, let’s dig in. Bon appetite!” Rebekah announced, and as if on cue they all began to eat, which was a great excuse to not actually talk.

“Food’s delicious, Rebekah,” he said when chatter began to fill the air as Rebekah and Niklaus began to bicker from across the table while Freya and Cami were engaged in conversation. Henrik was chatting to Kol about chemistry, which apparently Henrik was good at, not that Elijah knew about that. Mikael began chatting to Marcel about Marcel’s upcoming Boards and what specialty was Marcel going into. Elijah was slightly amused at Marcels’ expense when his father began trying to steer Marcel in the direction of a more ‘hardcore’ specialty than peds.

“Father,” Freya piped up. “Peds is actually pretty hardcore. I mean, I’m the Head of the Neonatal/Fetal Surgery Department, and trust me, working with kids and babies is nothing short of hardcore. Marcel could easily become Head of Peds in a few years,” she said, and took a sip of her wine.

“Freya, you know I’m proud of all you accomplished. But, you’re… well, you, and Marcel is-” he cut off, and kept from finishing his sexist remark by Camille.

“Does anyone want more hummus, which is delicious by the way, Bekah?” she asked with a tense smile as she held the bowl. Freya took the bowl from Cami and smiled gratefully.

“Alright, let’s not play politics at the dinner table, we’re doctors, right? We wish you the best of luck with your Boards, Marcel, don’t we, Mikael?” their Mother chimed in with an apprehensive smile, for once with good intentions, and managed to diffuse the tension. Freya passed the bowl to Kol, and Niklaus handed him the salad bowl.

“Of course,” their father muttered, took a long sip of his wine.

“How about you, Camille, Klaus? Have you two thought of maybe settling down, tying the knot?” their mother asked, changing the conversation. Niklaus almost choked on his food, and almost spit his drink, anresulting in Elijah and Freya both reaching across to pat him on the back while Cami stared at her future in-laws, appalled.

“Mother!” Rebekah exclaimed, annoyed. 

“I- Esther, we’re not-” Cami stammered. Finally, Niklaus calmed down.

“Mother, we aren’t even engaged!” he pointed out.

“Well, that’s something that can easily be rectified with a ring and a nice dinner, Niklaus, what are you waiting for? I’d like to have grandbabies sometime soon, and since it’s not happening with your other siblings, you’re up next,” she said, not at all bothered. Cami took a long sip of her wine while Elijah choked on his food, and Freya patted him on the back, flashing him a confused look.

“It’s nothing,” he muttered while kicking himself. [Technically, Esther did have grandbabies, and one of them was even in New Orleans, not that she knew it. Yes, Klaus had provided Esther with a grandchild, but he himself didn’t know it, or the fact that his med school one-night stand was the reason for it. And, there was Jonathan, but he was gone, so Esther seemed to be disregarding him].

“Well, if you must know, Mother, our engagement isn’t really any of your business,” Niklaus sighed. “Camille and I are waiting for the right time, we’ve just moved in together not that long ago,” he added, and flashed his girlfriend a gentle smile.

Cami finally cleared her throat, “Klaus is right. We’ve got time, we just moved in together,” she sighed, and leaned closer to Klaus.

“Honestly, Mother, it’s not really anyone’s business,” Rebekah piped up, taking a long sip of her wine.

“Rebekah’s right, Mother,” Freya agreed with her sister. “Maybe, Cami and Klaus are waiting to be more secure in their relationship and their careers to get married and have kids,” she added with a shrug.

“And, what do you know about it, Freya? It’s not like you’re with anyone,” her Mother remarked drily. Freya rolled her eyes. “And, you’re all settled in your career,” she added sarcastically.

Elijah cleared his throat, “Mother, you are aware that neither Camille’s, nor Freya’s, nor Rebekah’s purpose in life is to provide you with grandchildren, right?” He gave his mother a pointed look, but she seemed to catch onto him mentioning his other sister, too.

“Speaking of… Rebekah, darling, you’re also settled in your career, and relationship, though I don’t see a ring on your finger, but well…” she paused, and Elijah watched the color drain from his sister’s face.

“And? You know Marcel is a resident, right? His top priority right now is to pass his Boards. We’ll talk about settling down, afterwards,” Rebekah said as politely as she could.

“Esther, don’t put the pressure on the girls,” their father scolded, and Elijah noticed Kol roll his eyes. [When Kol had broken up with his last girlfriend, their parents had been particularly upset because she had been _so_ nice, and Kol was really missing out]. “Let’s not forget the boys like Elijah,” his father added, and Elijah immediately tensed. “So, son, when do you plan to stop wallowing and get married again?” he asked, and Elijah choked, and nearly spit out his drink. He felt Freya’s fists pounding his back, and was grateful that at least he was in a room full of doctors who could perform the Heimlich maneuver should he need it.

“Excuse me?” he hissed after calming down.

“Well, son, you’re still young and secure in your career. Find yourself a wife who is also secure enough in her career and have children. Your mother would be delighted,” his father said, shrugging, like he was just talking about the weather, like his words weren’t knives twisting inside Elijah’s chest.

“I have a child-” he snapped, but his father cut him off.

“Had,” Mikael muttered, and Elijah flinched.

“Mikael!” Esther hissed. “Yes, darling, we know, but well… your father is kind of right. And, Jonathan’s been gone for two and a half years, it’s time,” she said, a little more hesitantly, a little more carefully, though that didn’t lessen the effect of her words.

“Well, Mother, Father, maybe you can replace Jonathan like he didn’t really matter, but I _can’t_!” he snapped, and felt tears of anger and pain prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them back. He wasn’t going to break, not now, not in front of his family.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Elijah! No one’s telling you to replace him, just stop with this self-pity party and get on with your life. Katerina Petrova wasn’t the last woman on this earth, you’ll find another one if you look, and as for Jonathan-” But, Elijah didn’t let him finish.

“You know what? I’m done! None of you have any idea what I’ve been going through, so don’t try to tell me how to feel!” he yelled, and stood up abruptly. Everyone stared at him in shock, but Elijah didn’t care because he couldn’t be here, not anymore, it was just too much and none of them understood what he felt, or knew what he felt, so he just grabbed his coat, and left, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

The moment Elijah left, the table fell silent as everyone stared after him, all of them sporting expressions of varying degrees of confusion. Rebekah took a sip of her wine, then cleared her throat.

“Well, now you’ve done it,” she said to her parents, glaring at them. “This was supposed to be nice family dinner, but you couldn’t without making your disappointment in one of us clear.”

“Oh, Rebekah, don’t be ridiculous,” Mikael said, rolling his eyes. “Your brother is obviously still struggling. In my opinion, he should just suck it up and get on with his life,” he added coldly.

“Well, not everyone deals with emotions the way you do, Father,” Klaus spoke up, and Rebekah glanced over at Camille.

“Shut it, Niklaus, this doesn’t concern you!” Mikael snapped.

“I think it does. I think it concerns all of us. Elijah was right about one thing though, none of us know what he’s going through. Maybe we should try harder,” she said.

“Maybe he should try harder. It’s not the end of the world, he’s young and fit. He’ll find a wife and have more children!” Mikael said coldly, ignoring what she tried to say.

“He lost his child, Father! His _child_.” Tears threatened to spill from her own eyes, but she blinked them back. “The worst thing imaginable happened to him, and you want him to just get on with his life? Y- we should be supporting him, not causing him more pain!” she exclaimed.

“Well, if you want to coddle him, Rebekah, go ahead,” Mikael retorted. “But, that won’t do anyone any good. He’ll probably fall off the wagon again. Elijah just needs to suck it up and keep going, that’s the only way,” he added, and Rebekah was pretty sure she was done, too.

“You know what, I think that’s quite enough. Mother, Father, you’ve done enough damage, you should just go home,” she said, causing both her parents to stare at her in shock.

“Are you kicking us out, Rebekah? After everything-” But, before they could launch into another lecture, she cut them off.

“I’m just going to remind you that I got to where I am on my own merits, and didn’t need anything from either of you! And, I am asking you to leave because Marcel has boards to study for, and the others have shifts at the hospital tomorrow. And, I have to be at the office. So, it’s best you two leave now!” she said firmly, not leaving any room for discussion.

With a sigh, Esther and Mikael stood up, and Mikael went to grab their coats. “C’mon, Henrik,” Esther added, ushering the youngest Mikaelson sibling with them.

“Thank you for dinner, Bekah,” Henrik added as he followed his parents out the door, leaving most of the Mikaelson siblings at the dinner table.

“Fuck,” Klaus muttered under his breath, and took a sip of his wine.

“Well, it wouldn’t be a Mikaelson dinner without drama and one of us storming out,” Kol quipped, and Rebekah grabbed the tea towel next to her and tossed it at her brother.

“Kol! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” she shrieked while hitting him with the towel.

“Okay, okay, calm down, Bex!” he yelled, putting his hands up in the air defensively. “Sorry. I was just- man, that was bloody awful wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was. Poor Elijah, he’s always been there for us, but I- am I the only one who feels like he’s been keeping us at arms’ length?” Freya piped up with a sigh. Marcel refilled their glasses wordlessly.

“No. But, should we really be surprised?” Marcel remarked, and the rest of them shook their heads.

“Well, he’s obviously not dealt with Jon’s death,” Cami chimed in. “When Jonathan died, he obviously blamed himself, and he got sober, but he didn’t deal with Jonathan’s death after that. Instead, he left and joined the army, which was an escape. He’s back now, but he’s still not dealt with it. He’s still grieving, but not actually dealing with the grief and instead focusing on staying sober which is probably because he’s scared that if he lets himself feel that grief, he’s going to fall off the wagon,” she observed, and the rest of them nodded. It’s not like any of them could object to her assessment since she was the psychiatrist in their midst. “And, he’s keeping the rest of us at arms’ length probably because he’s scared of having the rug pulled from under him and losing anyone else he cares about,” she added.

“Have you noticed he’s barely said a word to Henrik?” Klaus piped up. “He’s not seen Henrik in ages, and barely exchanged two words with him. I mean, sure, Henrik kept busy with the PlayStation, but Elijah hardly talked to him,” he sighed.

“Yeah…”

“Well, that’s probably because Henrik reminds him of Jonathan in a way,” Cami cut in. “Or, rather, Jonathan being gone and the fact that he’ll never grow up. Henrik’s twelve, not that much older than Jonathan would be now, and it’s just a painful reminder. Like I said, Elijah hasn’t dealt with his grief yet, so he pulls away, or pushes away any and all reminders of Jonathan,” she finished.

“I just- I wish there was something we could do to help him,” Freya said with a sad sigh.

“There’s not much we can do. Elijah has to ask for help. He needs to let that grief in and start dealing with it, and he needs to ask for help with that… that’s the only way,” Cami advised.

“Thanks, Cami,” she muttered.

“Anyways, we should all probably go. We’ve all got work tomorrow,” Freya announced, standing up. The rest of them stood along with her, and Rebekah and Marcel led them to the hall, helping them all with their coats and jackets. They exchanged cheek kisses and bid each other goodbye, and her, Freya and Cami all agreed to find time for a girls’ night.

And then, it was just her and Marcel in the apartment, and Marcel opened his arms for her.

“C’mere, babe,” he said, and she didn’t need to be told twice and went into his arms, letting him envelop her in his strong arms while she clung to him, pressing herself closer to him. “I’m sorry didn’t go as well as you hoped, Bekah,” he whispered in her ear.

“It’s fine. Thank you for being here and putting up with my family… I know you’d rather be studying for Boards…” she mumbled against his chest. Marcel cupped her chin, and lifted her face so she could look at him.

“Hey, you know I love you, right? And, I’m here for you. For family dinners and anything else, okay? I love you, Rebekah Mikaelson,” he said softly, his gaze warm. She smiled at him.

“I love you, too, Marcel,” she said softly and met his lips halfway for a gentle kiss.


	4. You Knew It Still Hurts Underneath My Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Mikaelson dinner from Elijah's point of view. Hayley and Elijah grow closer. After a surgery, Hayley finally tells Klaus the truth about Hope, but he doesn't take it as well as she hoped. Elijah offers to talk to him, but that leads to a physical fight when Klaus delivers a low blow.

The slightly chilly evening wind whipped around him as he exited Rebekah and Marcel’s building, and he shoved his hands in his coat pockets before walking quickly to his car. He got in, and started the ignition as soon as, and hightailed it out of there, not wanting any of his family to come after him. He couldn’t believe his parents, and he wanted to punch something, or drown his sorrows, or both. But, he reminded himself of the consequence of slipping and falling off the wagon, and instead of going to a bar, or to the gym since it was late, he returned to his flat.

As usual, the flat was cold and empty which Elijah usually didn’t mind, but this time it somehow felt like it was suffocating him. With a heavy sigh, he took off his coat and hung it by the door before walking to his bedroom and taking off his clothes, and decided to go for a run, needing to do something with himself. He changed into his running clothes quickly, jammed his air pods in and clicked shuffle on his phone, and went outside. Somehow, he managed not to think about anything in particular throughout his run, especially not how much of a dick his father was, or how selfish his mother was, or about Jonathan. Eventually, sweaty and with aching muscles, he returned to his apartment and headed straight for the shower, letting the water wash away everything and drown out the noise that were his spinning thoughts. Eventually, he got out, wrapped a towel around his waist, and dried off, then changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He checked his phone and noticed a few missed calls from some of his siblings, but he couldn’t deal with that, so he ignored them and instead he went to his closet and pulled out the box he kept at the back, hidden by his suits. [He didn’t really keep many reminders of Jonathan around the apartment because he couldn’t quite bear the reminder on a daily basis. Sure, there were some photographs around, but everything else was in the box he now held on his lap, locked away securely, just like his feelings]. He and Katherine had sorted out some of Jonathan’s things into memory boxes after signing the divorce papers.

The first thing he sees, right at the top of the box was Jonathan’s light blue onesie and small booties from when Jonathan was just a baby, and his eyes immediately filled with tears. He took the onesie and brought it to his face, smelling the faint baby scent that still clung to it. Then, he found a few of Jonathan’s drawings. Colorful stick figured, and some hand painted ones, his colorful small hand prints on the white paper made him choke on a sob. Then, there was Jonathan’s dinosaur themed pajamas, and Elijah brought them once again to his face, taking in the scent that still clung to them. When he put them back down, there were a few wet spots, and only then did he notice that tears had started falling down his face. He wiped them away with the back of his hands, but more tears came as he noticed a few photos of himself and Jonathan, then a drawing of himself and Jonathan as stick figures, and he could practically picture that moment when he would come home, tired from surgeries, and Jonathan would race over to him, all squeals and childlike laughter and show him one of his drawings.

_Look, daddy! Dis me an you! Daddy my hewo!_ He could hear Jonathan announce proudly in his soft, squealing voice, filled with delight. Elijah would scoop him up in his arms, and tickle him as he carried him to the living room, and Jonathan would squeal loudly, his contagious laughter filling the air. But, Jonathan had been wrong, because he was no hero. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks as he looked at the drawings before he set those down, too, and finally grabbed the last thing. It was a stuffed toy dinosaur Elijah had gotten him on a work trip during Jonathan’s seemingly never-ending dinosaur phase. He had scruffy green fur and soft spikes that Elijah remembered Jonathan liked to bring to his nose, as if tickling himself. Elijah picked up the dinosaur, Fuddlewuddle as Jonathan had named him, and brought it to his face, inhaling the soft kid scent that still clung to it. And, finally, Elijah let out a sob as tears began streaming down his face, and he sunk back against the wall, holding the dinosaur close to his chest while tears continued to fall down his face and his sobs filled the empty apartment. The rest of the memory box laid forgotten beside him as he clung to the toy dinosaur, remembering Jonathan’s delighted expression when he’d given it to him upon his return, the way Jonathan would carry it with him everywhere, the way he took it with him for show and tell at preschool and proudly announced that his daddy had given it to him. The only time he’d forgotten it had been that fateful day two and a half years ago, when he’d left it at his place, and gone to preschool without it.

* * *

Surprisingly, Hope went to school without any complaints, kissed Hayley on the cheek, then they did their ritual, and then she was running after the other kids, leaving Hayley behind. Her little girl was growing up, and still she loved cuddles in the evening, and movie nights with her, and loved cooking with her whenever Hayley had time, so Hayley didn’t feel it too much. She glanced at her watch, and noticed she had enough time to get to work without passing the speed limit or violating any laws and make it in time for pre-rounds.

After pre-rounds, she went to get coffee from the coffee cart outside.

“One medium-sized cappuccino with cinnamon on top!” she ordered, and fished around her pocket for her spare change to pay for it.

“Make that two,” someone said from behind her. No, not someone, but Elijah Mikaelson, and Hayley felt chills go down her spine at the sound of his voice. She turned to find him standing beside her, an unreadable expression on his face, wearing his blue scrubs and white coat, stethoscope around his neck. But, what she did notice unlike the last time were the army dog tags hanging by a ball chain around his neck, their metal tarnished, not shining despite the gleaming sunlight.

“Good morning, Dr. Mikaelson,” she said quietly as the lady handed them two steaming cups of coffee, and when she raised her hand to hand over the money, Elijah raised his own and paid for hers as well. “And, thank you for the coffee,” she added, slightly surprised by his gesture.

“Good morning, Dr. Marshall. Has Marcel told you you’re on my service, today?” he replied as he took a sip of his coffee.

“No?” It sounded more like a question.

“Oh. Well, now you know. C’mon,” he nodded for her to follow and began walking back inside. She followed after him, sipping her coffee.

“So, what are we doing today?” she asked as she followed him through the E.R., which was busy as usual. Elijah stopped though when he spotted a tall, dark haired doctor.

“Jo!” he called out, and she whipped around, and smiled at him.

“Elijah, hey! Taking advantage that the best coffee is in the coffee cart closer to the E.R.?”

“Dr. Marshall here was getting coffee, and I decided to join. She’s our new resident transfer. Fourth year, and rather skilled,” he said as an introduction, and Hayley couldn’t help but blush at the last part.

“Hayley Marshall. Good to meet you,” she said, flashing the other doctor a small smile.

“Jo Laughlin. Head of Trauma Surgery. I run the E.R.,” she introduced herself, smiling, and extended her hand. Hayley shook it.

“She’s on my service today, but I promise to give her to you tomorrow. She’s excellent in the E.R.,” Elijah added, smirking slightly, and Jo raised an eyebrow, and smiled at her.

“Alright, sounds good. I’ll see you around, Marshall,” she agreed, nodding at Hayley. “Elijah.”

Elijah then turned to her while she took a sip of her coffee, “if you want to become a trauma surgeon, you’ve got to impress her. And, she’s not easy to impress, so I suggest you get to it,” he told her as he began walking towards the elevators. She couldn’t help but wonder if Elijah was hard to impress, too, and what his little comments had meant.

“Right. Will do. Now, what are we doing today?” she huffed as she raced after him while trying not to spill her coffee

“Well, we have a few surgeries scheduled, so it’s a busy day,” he said as he pressed the elevator button. “First is a knee replacement surgery, then we’ve got a teen cancer patient who might require limb-sparing surgery, or an amputation. Then, we’ve got a knee arthroscopy, and a shoulder arthroscopy and decompression. And, well, if there’s some emergency in the Pit,” he informed her.

The elevator arrived, and they got on, just the two of them, and Hayley was suddenly aware of their close proximity and the fact that there was no one else. Her heartbeat quickened, and a shiver ran down her spine while as her eyes trailed over Elijah’s physique. Not much was obvious from his scrubs, especially with his white coat on, but whenever he did take it off for surgery, she’d noticed his sizeable biceps, and was sure the rest of his body was probably well-toned, too. Her gaze lingered on his tags, and a small part of her was curious to know, while another part wondered if she should even ask.

She cleared her throat after taking another sip, “so, uh, you were in the military?” she finally asked, deciding to give in to her curiosity.

Elijah looked up from his staring contest with the elevator doors, and nodded, “yeah, I was. For two years,” he replied.

“So, what’s the story?” she asked, and immediately kicked herself because the look on his face told her he really didn’t want to talk about it. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have, you don’t have to answer that!”

“It’s alright, I- I, uh, just needed to get away…” he sighed, and averted his gaze once more. Hayley nodded, and focused on her own coffee. The elevator stopped, and people got on, so Hayley and Elijah drifted closer in the back of the elevator, and every once in a while his hand would brush against hers, and Hayley’s heart hammered in her chest as shivers ran down her spine. Finally, the elevator stopped, and the people in front of them either got off, or made way for the two of them to exit.

“So, have you told Niklaus about Hope?” Elijah asked after a few minutes of them walking in silence.

“You mean your brother?” she retorted, quirking an eyebrow at him. Elijah tensed slightly, and sighed.

“Yes. He is my brother. How did you find out?”

“A little birdie told me,” she quipped, smirking.

“A little birdie?”

“Kol. Your other brother,” she replied, smirking slightly. “Didn’t know you had such a big family.”

“Sorry. I- I wasn’t hiding it, or anything. I just- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he said apologetically.

“It’s fine, don’t sweat it, Elijah,” she brushed him off. “And, to answer your question, no I haven’t told him. But, I will. Today, I promise,” she said softly, and stared deeply into his eyes.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I trust you, Hayley.” Then, he stopped in front of a door. “Now, let’s go see our patient. Ready to present?”

“Yup,” she nodded. As he reached to open the door, his hand brushed against hers once more, and it took all of Hayley’s self-control not to jump him and kiss him senseless because his touch gave her the best chills.

* * *

Hayley spent most of her day in surgery with Elijah, occasionally managing to get water slash snack breaks, and even an hour of sleep in an on-call room, but her entire body ached when their last surgery finished successfully. The teenage cancer patient needed more time to decide, which is what provided a much-needed break, but then Elijah had to take a surgery from Dr. Al-Rashid, the head of the Ortho Surgery department, so Hayley only managed a one-hour nap. And, now she was being paged to the Pit when she felt like collapsing on a bed herself. [Apparently, Dr. Laughlin was busy, and so was Elijah, and she was the trauma person for the case]. She grabbed a gown and began tying them while walking to the E.R. doors only to find none other than Klaus Mikaelson clad in a yellow gown and standing there.

“Hello, love, how lovely to see you!” he greeted her with his signature smirk. Hayley just rolled her eyes.

“Klaus. Just made my afternoon,” she replied sarcastically as she finished tying her gown.

“Oh, don’t be so prickly, love. Whoever ruffled your feathers?” he asked, though there was a hint of mischief in his blue eyes.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “I’ve been in surgeries all day, I’m freaking exhausted. So, sorry if I’m not Little Miss Sunshine!” she snapped, flashing him an annoyed glare.

“You do know I’m a surgeon, too, right? And, I’ve spent more than an entire day in one surgery. Relax, love,” he shot back, amused. Hayley was saved from answering by the ambulance pulling in, and they rushed to it.

“What have we got?” she asked the young paramedic, whose name was Davina.

“Thirty-year-old Jane Doe. GCS of 3. Multiple crush injuries and blunt trauma suffered when someone decided to blow up her shop. No explosives, she’s been cleared, but she’s got some shrapnel,” Davina recounted as they rolled her quickly to the trauma room. Nurses entered the room, along with Elena and two interns.

“Alright, one, two, three!” Hayley ordered and they put her onto the trauma bed and began hooking her up to monitors and IV lines. “I need a portable ultrasound STAT!” she yelled after palpating her abdomen. “And, page Fell for a neuro exam!”

“And, Elijah STAT!” Klaus ordered.

“Her abdomen’s filled with fluid, probably internal bleeding. We need to get her to an O.R.,” she told him.

“She’s got shrapnel in her upper left quadrant!” Elena yelled while Hayley moved to examine her legs at the same time that the door opened and both Meredith and Elijah entered.

“What have we got?” they demanded, and Elena quickly recited what happened.

“Hayley, what do we have?” Elijah asked, coming to stand beside her, and her heartbeat immediately quickened as a shiver ran down her spine and her breath hitched in her throat at his mere presence.

“Her legs are swollen, she needs a double fasciotomy,” she told him, panting slightly.

“Alright, let’s do it. Glove me!” he ordered, and the nurse immediately gloved him up. “Scalpel!”

She met his gaze, then turned to the nurse. “Scalpel!”

“You take the right, I’ll take the left?” he asked her, and she nodded, smiling despite her mask, feeling the rush of adrenaline. “On three. Okay, one-”

“-two,” she counted, readying herself.

“-three!” he yelled and both of them made the cut. Blood rushed out, and the interns immediately rushed with lap pads to pack the wounds.

“We need more!” she ordered. “C’mon, let’s pack it!” As they started packing, trying to pack both wounds, Hayley felt Elijah’s closeness, and her heart practically leapt out of her chest. She brushed against Elijah reaching for more gauze, and felt him tense up as he, too, reached for the gauze which was closer to him, and casually touched her upper back to reach the gauze better. Hayley wondered if this was what the butterflies in the stomach effect was, if this is what it felt like, a flutter in her stomach, her heart hammering in her chest either from adrenaline or Elijah’s effect on her, a chill running down her spine. When pulled away and stepped back, she looked up to find Elena looking curiously between them, but when she met Hayley’s gaze, she shook her head and looked away, shrugging.

Finally, they managed to pack the wounds, and prepared to rush the patient to the O.R., tearing their yellow gowns off and throwing them in the medical waste bin while trying to keep ahold of the gurney. Not all of them could fit in the elevator, so she and Elijah took the stairs while Klaus and Elena stayed with the patient. They met up in the scrub room and began scrubbing as fast as they could while still being effective before they all filed into the O.R.

* * *

“Time of death 2100,” Elijah announced, tearing his mask off just as his pager beeped. “Excuse me,” he muttered before entering the scrub room to scrub out, leaving her, Elena and Klaus alone. The three of them entered the scrub room, and scrubbed in silence. As soon as they were done, Elena’s pager beeped, too, so she left, leaving Hayley and Klaus in the scrub room.

She’d forgotten about what she had to tell Klaus until that moment, and then realization hit her. She sighed heavily, and even though a part of her still wanted to keep it secret, she was resolved to tell him. Maybe not because of Klaus himself, but because she had promised Elijah. Besides, she did owe it to Klaus. Hope was his daughter after all.

“Hey, Klaus?” she finally said to get his attention. He turned to face her, his expression tense.

“What?”

“I, uh, I have to tell you something,” she started, and bit her lip.

“Oh. Well, then, do tell,” he nodded for her to continue.

“So, uh, you remember how nearly eight years ago, a few weeks after we, um, slept together, I called you, right?”

“Yes. I was a dick then, Hayley, I know that now. And, I am sorry for how I spoke to you when you told me you were pregnant. I’m sorry for causing you pain,” he admitted guiltily, and she sighed.

Her demeanor softened, “yeah about that,” she paused, and took a deep breath, “I, um, I- I didn’t have an abortion. I had that baby. It’s a girl. She’s, uh- I- _we_ have a daughter, Klaus…” she trailed off, and sighed while still looking carefully at Klaus.

“Oh…” was all he said, and trailed off.

“Yeah. Her- her name is Hope. She’s seven. She- she loved to draw and paint. She loves animals. She’s in a princess phase currently. She loves watching Disney movies and eating pizza-” she began rambling, but Klaus cut her off.

“What do you want?” he asked seriously.

“What do you mean what do I want? I just wanted to tell you because it- it’s the right thing to do, and she, uh, she needs a father-” she replied, not sure where he was going with this, but he cut her off again.

“Do you need money? Do you want me to pay you back for past expenses? What do you want?” Klaus demanded, his voice getting louder at the end. Hayley flinched, and felt tears prickle at her eyes.

“I don’t… _want_ anything, Klaus! I just want you to know your daughter, and be her father! I can provide for her myself, thank you very much!” she shot back. “How can you be this much of a dick?”

“Because I’m not a father! I may have fathered her in a drunken mistake, but I don’t want to be her father! I don’t want that responsibility! If you need monetary assistance, I’ll be happy to provide, but I don’t want the other stuff… I don’t want to be involved!” he shouted, and Hayley froze.

“Well, then fine! Don’t be involved! You’re an asshole, and Hope doesn’t need you in her life! So, fuck you, Klaus!” she screamed before storming out of the scrub room.

* * *

After getting paged to the Pit for a consult, Elijah managed to get away to an on-call room for a few hours of sleep before he got paged to his teenager patient who decided she needed even more time, and Elijah decided they would talk the next day. With a heavy sigh, Elijah decided to go to the roof to think. Except he wasn’t alone, and he found Hayley standing by the edge, her back tense, looking out over the city. He stood beside her, but she didn’t look to acknowledge him.

“Hayley?” he finally asked, but she said nothing. “Are you okay?”

Finally, after a few more seconds of silence, she turned to him, and her cheeks were covered in dry tears while her eyes were bloodshot and red.

“What happened?” he demanded, itching to put his arms around her and offer her comfort.

“Well, I told Klaus. And, it didn’t go well. He thought I just wanted money, or something-” she cut herself off, sniffling, “but when I told him that what I wanted was a father for my daughter, he said he didn’t want to be involved. So…” she trailed off, and wiped her cheeks, sniffling slightly. Elijah couldn’t help himself anymore, and he closed the gap between them, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Hayley pressed herself closer to him, and melted in his arms, and cried quietly while he rubbed her back gently.

“Oh, Hayley, I’m so sorry,” he muttered softly, squeezing her lightly while his chest constricted sadly. He couldn’t believe his brother, and wanted to give him a piece of his mind.

“It’s- I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” Hayley mumbled into his chest, sniffling softly. Finally after a few more seconds she pulled away, and wiped her cheeks and eyes once again. “Sorry for this… breakdown, but I- I’m sorry,” she sighed sadly.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he said softly. “I- I’ll talk to him, if you want, of course,” he suggested.

“Sure, just- I don’t want this to become some kind of family drama,” she bit her lip, adorably so, and Elijah couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss those perfect lips of hers.

“Believe me, Hayley, there is no shortage of drama in my family,” he quipped, and at her pointed look, added, “but, I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Elijah,” she said softly, still standing close to him.

“Of course. Now, why don’t you go get some rest, and I’ll go find my brother, alright?” She nodded, then they both walked back inside.

While Hayley went to get some rest, Elijah went to find his brother, which was easier said than done. Finally, he did find him on the catwalk, and though he would have liked a less public place, it shouldn’t get physical so it would be fine.

“Niklaus!” he called out to get his brother’s attention.

“Elijah, hello, brother! What is it? Did they find our Jane Doe’s family?”

“No, but that’s not why I’m here,” he said, keeping his tone even.

“And, why are you here?”

“Hayley,” he finally said, and immediately realization dawned on his brother’s face.

“So you knew,” Klaus concluded.

“Yes, I did. Not for long though, just for a day. It was her secret to tell, and I told her she should tell you, but I wasn’t going to force her to,” he explained.

“Ah, of course, always the gentleman,” Klaus rolled his eyes. “So, what? Did she also tell you that I want nothing to do with the child?”

“The child?” Elijah struggled to keep his anger in. “You mean your child. Yours and Hayley’s. And, to answer your question, Niklaus, yes she told me. How could you? That isn’t an object, or some piece of furniture. That is a child. Your daughter. Your living, breathing daughter who needs her father more than ever!” he couldn’t help but yell.

“Why do you care? You are not her father!” Klaus growled, and he was right. But, Elijah far too pissed with his brother’s attitude to care.

“Oh, and you are? You don’t seem interested in being one,” he quipped, stepping closer to his brother, squaring his shoulders.

Klaus mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

“What did you say to me?” Elijah asked. He already was in a bad mood, and exhausted of having this same conversation with Klaus.

“That I’m more of a father than you are, or than you’ll ever be! You’re not even a father anymore!” he spat, and Elijah grew still. And then, he lunged, slamming his fist in his brother’s jaw, sending him flying. Klaus groaned, then stood up, and lunged at Elijah, tackling him to the ground. He swung, and punched him squarely in the nose, and Elijah felt blood spill from his nose. He grunted and pushed his brother off him, swinging at him angrily with his fists. Klaus matched him with his own punches, though his were more wild and Elijah did his best to dodge them. Elijah, on the other hand, was punching hard and fast, his movements calculated, fueled by rage and grief he’d been bottling up. There were screams around them, but neither of them gave a damn.

“Elijah! Klaus! Oh my God! Kol, Marcel, help me!” It was Hayley, her high-pitched shriek sounding horrified, and Elijah felt his younger brother’s arms around him while Marcel pried Klaus off. Freya, too, stepped in, along with Cami. And then, Elijah turned and found Hayley staring at him, her expression a mix of emotions.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Vincent bellowed, his voice icy as he strode towards them. He was glaring at both them, disapproval written all over his face. Kol’s grip tightened on him while Marcel held onto Klaus. “What happened?” he demanded, but neither of them said anything for a long minute. “Hey, you know what you- you two punks think just cause your daddy ran the place you can be stupid and make a fool of me and this hospital, well ya can’t!” Vincent spat between his teeth. “Now, what you two are gonna do is go to the ER and your colleagues will patch you up and then I want you BOTH in my office!” Marcel and Kol both nodded, and Elijah felt his brother nudge him in the direction of the Pit. “Everybody get back to work now!”

* * *

Cami couldn’t believe what she’d just witnessed the end of. She, Freya and Hayley had helped Marcel and Kol haul the two brothers down to the Pit, but Freya got called away while Hayley busied herself gathering supplies. She entered the trauma room occupied by Elijah, but Cami didn’t really care. Instead, she walked to the other trauma room, the one occupied by her boyfriend. An intern was in there, tending to Klaus.

“Get out!” she ordered, her tone icy.

“But, I can’t… I, uh, have to-” he stammered, but she cut him off.

“You don’t. I’m Dr. O’Connell, form psych. You don’t have to be here while I talk to Dr. Mikaelson, actually, I’m ordering you not to be. And, don’t worry about doing your job, I went to med school, too, so I’ll do it!” she snapped at him, not wanting to waste any time.

As soon as the intern left, she turned her glare to her boyfriend who just sat there, looking like someone had hurt his puppy.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she demanded, though she managed to keep from outright yelling. “Getting into a fight in the middle of the hospital? What the hell, Klaus?”

Klaus said nothing, just looked down, and she grabbed the icepack and brought it to his lip, deciding to change tactics.

“Klaus, this is me,” she started carefully. “What happened out there? Who even threw the first punch?”

“Elijah,” Klaus finally mumbled.

“What? Why?” she stared at him, shocked.

“I-” Klaus cut himself off, and swallowed, averting his gaze, a clear sign he felt guilty about something. She reached to cup his cheek, and forced him to look up and meet her gaze.

“Klaus, whatever happened… why would Elijah throw the first punch? I know he boxes, but he’s not one to instigate physical fights,” she said in a gentler tone.

Klaus mumbled something inaudible, and she strained to hear him.

“Klaus,” she said pointedly.

“I told him he’s not a father anymore,” Klaus finally admitted, and Cami flinched.

“You did what?” she almost shrieked, but managed to keep herself from doing so. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she repeated her earlier question.

“I- I didn’t mean it, Camille, I was just- I was so tired of him lecturing me, and I just- I shouldn’t have said it…” he trailed off sadly.

“Lecturing you? Klaus, you’re both grown men, why would Elijah lecture you?” she asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

“I- Camille, there is something you should know,” he said softly, and reached to take her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

“What?”

“Just- please, know that I love you before you listen to everything else,” he told her, and there was an emotional edge to his tone that made Cami nervous.

“Yeah, I know. And, I love you, too. Now, what is it?”

“Hayley… I told you what happened between me and Hayley, right?” She nodded. “Well, it appears that Hayley had the baby. That baby. My baby. H- her name is Hope, and she’s seven,” he finally said, and Cami froze, her heart hammering in her chest as she stared at her boyfriend, not quite knowing what to say. What Klaus said next washed over her like tide, and Cami just nodded numbly, not quite knowing what to say because the fact that Klaus was a father kept ringing in her ears.

“I- I think I need- I just need some time…” she stammered, not sure what she could say, and bit her lip. She pulled away from him, and stumbled back slightly before turning towards the door, her hand going on the knob. And then, Klaus’ fingers were curled around her wrist, and she stopped.

“Camille… please,” he begged, in near tears, “you must believe me, I- I don’t love Hayley… I don’t want to be with her, or play house. I want you. I love you. Okay? I love you, Camille O’Connell,” he told her, his voice thick with emotion, his eyes glassy with tears. And then, his lips were on hers, soft and gentle, tasting slightly of antiseptic and blood, and she kissed him back eagerly, throwing her arms around his neck, forgetting about everything and letting Klaus wrap his own arms around her waist, pulling her to him as she melted in his arms. The kiss grew more heated, her lips more demanding against his, and Klaus matched her fervor, kissing her just as passionately. Finally, when air became a necessity, she pulled away, but Klaus cupped her cheek gently, rubbing his thumb over her chin. “I do love you, Camille, you know that?” he mumbled softly, both of them panting for air.

“Yeah, I know…” she said in a barely audible whisper. “But, I need to go,” she added more firmly. And then, she pulled away from him, twisted the knob, and exited the trauma room, leaving Klaus behind. She spotted Keelin, and waved her over. “Dr. Mikaelson needs medical attention. Do you mind?” she asked in a barely even voice.

“Of course not, I’ll go take care of him right away. You goin’ home?”

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“’Kay, I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said, and waved her off. Cami waved at her as she exited the E.R., and was glad that Hayley was probably tending to Elijah, because she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have put her martial arts skills to good use if she saw the new resident.


	5. Words You'll Never Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Klaus and Elijah's fight. Hayley and Elijah share a moment. What happens in Vincent's office? Hayley finds out something about Elijah's past. Do Klaus and Elijah make up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo! Chapter 5 is already up! I have such plans for this fic and I'm so excited about it! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!

Despite the fact that his left eye was slightly swollen, Elijah couldn’t stop watching Hayley as she worked, a concentrated look on her face, her glasses on, and was not at all helped by her close proximity, by her touching him as she worked to stitch the gash in his forehead, her fingers working deftly. She’d numbed it, so it didn’t hurt as much, but still he felt the ghost of her touch as she tugged on the surgical thread. Finally, she threw one last stitch in, and stepped even closer to cut it, and Elijah’s senses went into overdrive. Oh, how he wanted to grab her and kiss her, but he knew that even one kiss would just lead to a very slippery slope that would just end with more pain. [And, he would not hurt her, no matter what, no matter how much he wanted her]. Her dark brown wavy hair had been pulled into a messy knot, and a stray curl fell in her face, and he desperately wanted to tuck it behind her ear, but didn’t. She grabbed a large bandaid and applied it to his forehead before applying a smaller one on the small cut on his cheek. He hissed when she applied a little pressure, and she moved her hand away immediately.

“Sorry,” she muttered apologetically.

“It’s fine,” he told her.

“Well, look at you, Dr. Frankenstein,” she added with a chuckle, and Elijah couldn’t help but laugh too, despite the pain, and winced, causing Hayley’s expression to become serious once more.

“Okay, let me- let me take a look at your lip,” she said softly, and her delicate, yet skilled surgeon’s hand grabbed the ice-pack he’d been holding to his lip, sending a shock of electricity through his hand, and removed it.

“Ah,” he hissed in pain.

Hayley bit her lip, “still swollen, this isn’t gonna be pretty,” she added with a sigh. But, if he was being honest, he didn’t care as long as Hayley would continue to touch him like this, gently and carefully, her fingers barely skimming over his skin. She rested one hand on his shoulder, and reached for something, and the strong smell of antiseptic filled the air before she touched him with a ball of cotton. He hissed once more, and flinched, but Hayley’s hand on his shoulder steadied him.

“Sorry,” she mumbled apologetically. “I’m just gonna clean this and you’ll be good to go,” she informed him, then reached for something else - an ice pack - and handed it to him. “Might want to ice that eye,” she added, and he obliged, bringing the ice-pack to his eye and winced slightly.

Hayley applied a small butterfly bandaid to his chin then stepped back to examine her work, and Elijah immediately felt the distance between them and wanted her back.

“Man, your brother really did a number on you. Though, maybe that’s not true because I saw him, and he did NOT look pretty,” she mused as she examined hands. “Well, at least nothing here looks broken. Though, maybe you should still get it X-rayed,” she sighed.

“Nothing feels broken,” he remarked. “And, Niklaus had it worse than me because I know how to punch. I box,” he explained.

“Oh. Didn’t really peg you for the boxing type,” she shrugged.

“Well, it- it’s a good emotional outlet,” he shrugged.

“Right,” she murmured underneath her breath. Hayley stuck her head out the door and shouted something, probably requesting the portable X-ray.

“So, why exactly did you beat your brother up?” she wondered as they waited.

Elijah tensed. He really didn’t want to tell her that. “It’s complicated,” he said instead.

“Sure, okay,” she nodded, though she seemed to want to ask more.

Seconds later, a nurse brought the machine and Elijah sat quietly as Hayley did his scans.

“Let me see,” he asked, and she held them in front of the light so he could see. “See? Nothing’s broken,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Lucky you,” she quipped, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Lucky me,” he agreed.

“Okay, now let me just see your eye, and we’re done,” she said, and came to stand right in front of him, so close he could feel her breath in his face. She lifted her hands and reached to touch his eye, removing the ice-pack, and touched him gently to examine him. He hissed slightly, but her touch also caused butterflies to erupt in his stomach, and he tensed at the feeling, unlike anything he’d felt for a long time, and he was filled with the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But, he resisted the urge. She was so close to him, her nose almost brushed against his, and if he tilted his head slightly he could kiss her. He heard her let out a small gasp, and his own breath hitched in his throat. Her gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes, and he met her gaze. It was clear that she wanted this as much as he did, but neither of them moved.

And then, Hayley’s pager beeped, and she jumped slightly, and he reached to steady her. She reached for it.

“We have an incoming,” she told him.

“Yeah...”

“I should, uh, I should go,” she muttered softly.

“Yeah...” he repeated, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. Her eyes drifted up, and locked with his, and she held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

“Okay, now I really have to go. I’ll see you later, Elijah,” she said, then turned around and left.

* * *

Hayley’s mind was spinning when she stepped out of the trauma room, and her heart was hammering in her chest. She couldn’t believe what she had almost done. She had almost kissed Elijah Mikaelson, the nicest guy who gave her the best chills and made butterflies flutter in her stomach, and was also her boss _. Gods, I am so screwed,_ she told herself. She grabbed a yellow gown and raced to the ambulance bay, and found Elena and Dr. Laughlin already there.

“What have we got?” she asked as she tied her gown. Elena came to stand behind her, and Hayley let the other woman tie her gown. “Thanks, Elena.”

“No problem. We have multiple victims coming in, from an MVC,” Elena informed her just as the doors behind them opened and out came Keelin, Marcel, Kol, Liam, another resident, Aya Al-Rashid, the Head of Ortho, and Tristan de Martel, the Head of Plastics, plus a few interns.

“Hey, Aya, long time no see,” Laughlin greeted the other woman, flashing her a smile.

“Yeah, well, when your best ortho surgeon with actual trauma skills gets into a fight with his brother and there’s an incoming, I get called in,” she said drily, and she was clearly unhappy by the fact. “I was hoping to make it home tonight, but Vincent has the two idiots in his office and told me to clear Elijah’s name off the O.R. board,” she added with a sigh.

“That sucks. What even got into them, I’ve known Elijah for a while and he’s not the violent type,” Jo remarked. “Ric’s home with the girls, and I hoped to make it home, too, but not much choice in that.”

“Yup, no place we’d rather be,” Aya muttered sarcastically. Jo snorted.

“This is going to be a long night,” Marcel remarked. 

“What, Marcel? Missing out on quality time with my sister?” Kol quipped sarcastically. Hayley’s eyes widened, and she couldn’t help but wonder which Mikaelson sister Marcel was banging.

“Shut it, Kol!” Marcel shot back.

“Okay, cut it out you two!” Jo cut in. “We’re surgeons, and this is our job, so shut up and do it.”

Both of them nodded, and remained silent.

The sound of sirens could be heard, and they all straightened themselves as three ambulances raced towards them and finally came to a stop in front of them. Jo gestured for her and Elena to follow her to the first, then divided the doctors between the remaining two ambulances. There was another on the way, so Keelin and Marcel were going to take care of that.

“What have we got?” Jo asked the paramedic.

“Twenty-four year-old Julie Walters. Was in the front seat of her boyfriend’s car when the other car crashed into them. GCS of 10. Sustained blunt force trauma, and a head lac. Her pupils are equal and reactive, but she’s a little disoriented,” he reported.

“Okay, Gilbert, Marshall take her to trauma bay one!”

The two of them began rolling her inside and nurses entered along with them.

“Okay, Julie, ready?” Elena asked. “One, two, three!” she shouted, and they transferred her onto the gurney.

“Oh my God,” Julie cried, her eyes filling with tears.

“What’s wrong?” Hayley asked while Elena examined her and an intern worked on her head lac.

“M- my b- baby,” she stuttered, and hiccupped, clearly scared.

“Your baby? Was your baby in the car with you?” she asked. “I can get more information for you, you just have to relax and let us treat you.”

Julie shook her head, “no, my baby I- I’m pregnant… is my baby okay?” she cried, the contorted in pain and clutched at her stomach. “Oh my God, it hurts! Fuck!” she wailed, and Hayley exchanged a tense look with Elena.

“Get me the fetal heart monitor and page for Dr. Freya Mikaelson STAT!” she shouted at the nurse.

“It’s going to be okay, Julie, I’m going to make sure your baby’s okay, and Dr. Mikaelson will be here soon,” she said in a softer, calmer voice.

“It hurts,” Julie wailed.

“Where? Where does it hurt?”

“My stomach, agh,” she cried out while Hayley tried to find the heartbeat. Elena glanced at her worriedly, and Hayley continued prodding. Julie continued to scream in pain, and then she went limp.

“She’s lost consciousness! Hayley how are we on that fetal heartbeat?” Elena demanded as she began checking Julie.

“Still nothing. Come on, baby, come on,” she muttered, her heart hammering in her chest, and then decided to screw the monitor and grabbed her own stethoscope. Finally, she heard it, the rapid thump-thump coming from Julie’s lower abdomen. “Got it! We have a heartbeat!” she shouted cheerfully just as the doors opened to reveal a young blonde with blue eyes, her hair pulled into a ponytail.

“What have we got here? Do we have a heartbeat from the fetus?” she demanded as she got gloved up.

“Yeah, I managed to detect one. But, that monitor is shit, or it hates me,” Hayley reported, glaring at the offending piece of medical equipment. Freya looked at her skeptically, then shook her head. She pulled off her stethoscope and checked for a heartbeat herself, nodding once she’d found it.

“Okay, I’m seeing a lot of fluid in Julie’s abdomen. She might have internal bleeding; we need to rush her to surgery,” Elena said with a worried look on her face.

“Okay, let’s move her. Page Laughlin and Fell to meet us in the O.R.!” Freya ordered, taking the charge, and they rushed out, rolling Julie towards the O.R.

“Scrub in, you two,” Freya told them as she finished scrubbing. “We’re gonna need all hands on deck,” she explained, then entered the O.R. herself. Jo and Meredith followed after, and then it was just her and Elena in the scrub room.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Elena asked as Hayley was tying her mask for surgery.

“Yeah,” Hayley replied as she finished fitting her mask and began scrubbing.

“What’s going on between you and Elijah? I, uh, I saw you guys when we were working on the Jane Doe, there seemed to be something going on between you two,” Elena asked, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows.

“I don’t know what you mean, Elena,” she replied with a shrug. “He’s an attending and I’m a resident, what could possibly be going on? And, besides, even if something was, it would be none of your business,” she continued, panting slightly.

“Well, I don’t think the part about him being your boss was an issue during the Jane Doe case the way you two were acting,” she remarked, and Hayley rolled her eyes. “And, I do care because Elijah is, well, he’s family,” she added. Hayley’s eyes widened in shock.

“What? You mean to tell me you’re somehow part of the Mikaelson clan? Which one of them are you dating?” she burst out, curiosity getting the best of her.

Elena chuckled, “oh, no I’m- I’m not part of the Mikaelson clan like that. But, Elijah was my brother-in-law. He was married to my sister, Katherine,” she finally told her, and Hayley froze, though the other resident didn’t notice.

Finally, after regaining the ability to speak, Hayley broke the silence between them. “Wait, Elijah was married?” she asked, shocked.

“Yeah. They got a divorce two and a half years ago, but you know, when you go through what they went through, you remain connected, so it’s never really over,” Elena shrugged nonchalantly, and Hayley gasped, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“Shit,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry, Hayley,” Elena told her sympathetically. “C’mon, surgery’s starting soon,” she added, and fitted her mask over her face before entering the O.R. Hayley just sighed, and followed after her.

Hayley sighed as she leaned against the nurse’s desk after surgery which thankfully ended well even though they almost lost Julie, and the baby, but Julie was in recovery and the baby was okay. Her hair had come undone from its knot, but at this point she didn’t care because she was too damn tired to fix it. A steaming coffee cup appeared in front of her, and she looked up to find Marcel leaning against the desk, a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Hey, Hales,” he said tiredly. “Coffee?”

“Is that for me?” she asked shyly.

“If you want it,” he shrugged.

“Thanks,” she said softly and took a sip, and moaned as the warm liquid slid down her throat. “This is heaven, you’re a God sent,” she said, sighing as she took another sip.

“No problem. I know what this feels like, and it was a tough surgery, so thought you might need one,” he told her casually. “So, how did it go?”

“Man, we came close. I swear I thought she was gonna die on the table, or lose the baby, but they both made it. She’s in the ICU now, and we’ve contacted the family, so we’re waiting,” she told him, taking another sip of her coffee. “How was yours?”

Marcel sighed sadly, and Hayley immediately knew though he still told her, “lost him. He was too far gone, even by the time we got him to the O.R. Threw a clot, and that was it.”

“I’m sorry. It never gets easy, does it?” she remarked.

“No, it doesn’t,” he nodded, and took another sip. “Anyways, thought you might want to know that your baby daddy and his brother managed to get themselves suspended after that little stunt,” he told her, and Hayley’s eyebrows shot up and she stared at him.

After a few moments of her staring at him in shock, she finally managed, “really? How do you know?”

Marcel just shrugged, “Rebekah told me.”

[Hayley’s mind spun. Marcel’s words had several very clear implications. One being that Marcel knew about Klaus being her baby daddy, and the second being that since he knew this from Rebekah, that meant that Rebekah also knew. Which meant that either all the Mikaelsons knew, or they would all find out very soon. Gods, she’d been trying to escape drama, not run towards it. She was so screwed. And, the one person she could talk to was Elijah, but Elijah was suspended, so she couldn’t talk to him about it. It’s not like she would just flat out ask Marcel, or anyone else in the Mikaelson clan for Elijah’s number, or address]. Hayley groaned, already feeling a headache coming in.

“You okay, Hales?” Marcel asked after several seconds.

She nodded, faintly, “uh, yeah. Thanks for letting me know… I, uh, I have something to do… in the Pit… so…” she trailed off, and Marcel nodded, though he didn’t seem like he believed her. She then grabbed her coffee, and ran in the opposite direction, leaving poor Marcel behind her probably wondering what was wrong with her.

* * *

Klaus looked worse than Elijah did, his nose taped together in splint, and he continued to stare at the floor of Vincent’s office. Elijah was sure he didn’t look that much better, except for the fact that his nose wasn’t broken, thankfully, so he took to staring – glaring – at the floor. Vincent entered the office, a file in his hand.

“Really, Vincent?” he started without preamble, giving the other man an incredulous look. “You had to run a tox screen on me? What, you don’t trust me to tell the truth?” he demanded, crossing his arms.

“For the record, brother, I had one done, too, so you’re not the only one,” Klaus added, but Elijah just glared at his younger brother.

“Yes, I did. And, hey, it came clear for both of you, so at least it wasn’t a drunk fight,” he replied.

“Which I told them it would,” he muttered.

“Look, man, I needed to be sure because what you did, getting into a fight with your brother was extremely out of character, Elijah,” Vincent continued calmly, which was more irritating than if he had been yelling.

“So, I would have only done it if I was drunk? Jesus, Vincent, we’re in a hospital!” he snapped.

“Elijah,” Vincent said slowly, “look, I’m sorry, man, but I had to know. And, I was a more worried about you because than your brother because you’d be better at hiding it. Hey, you and I both know that alcoholics can be highly functional. I mean, you can’t tell me that when you fell off the wagon almost three years ago you didn’t go to work like normal, you didn’t do consults or perform procedures-” Elijah cut him off.

“I did not perform surgery drunk, Vincent,” he growled, gritting his teeth. Klaus glanced at him, but Elijah paid his brother no mind.

“-spend time with your kid,” Vincent continued, and Elijah flinched, and stepped forward, anger coursing through him.

“Don’t you dare bring my son into this!” he snapped. He felt Niklaus’ arm on his shoulder, keeping him in place.

“Elijah,” Klaus said in a warning tone.

“This does not concern you, Niklaus,” he growled, pushing his brother off him.

“I think it does, Elijah. Now, Vincent, didn’t you call us here to lecture us about fighting in your hospital then send us on our way?” Klaus asked calmly, then grabbed onto his scrub top, and pulled him away.

Vincent sighed, “alright, Elijah, let’s just- let’s just all calm down,” he said, stepping back. “Look, man, I called you in here to sit both your asses down and find out why the hell you two got into a fight in the middle of the damn hospital. And, hey, while you may not like it, you are a recovering alcoholic and the fact that you decked your brother in the middle of the damn hospital – thank God neither of you broke your precious surgeons’ hands – was enough to warrant a tox screen. Sorry man, but it is what it is. And, I’m the chief, so what I say goes,” Vincent said firmly, and Elijah sighed in defeat. [Despite being kind of a dick, the man did have a point]. “Okay, now would either of you like to explain yourselves?” he asked, but neither of them said anything. And just as Klaus was about to open his mouth, the door to Vincent’s office opened, and in came their sister.

“So,” she drawled, standing there in five inch Louboutin heels and her work suit, a Channel bag in her hand, “I hear you two got into a scuffle in the middle of the bloody hospital. Either of you care to explain it?”

“Hello, Rebekah,” Vincent greeted her. “I was looking for that explanation myself, but, hey, if your brothers would prefer telling you, I’m all for it,” he said, gesturing for her to enter. “Shall we make ourselves more comfortable?”

“Actually, Chief, there’s no need for them. See, I actually do know what’s going on here,” she smiled sweetly which only made her look scarier. “My boyfriend just so happened to witness your little brawl, and told me to get my ass down here in case I was needed. Which, I obviously, am. Then, Cami called,” she said, and Elijah watched as the color drained from his brother’s face.

“Fuck,” Klaus cursed underneath his breath.

“So, Nik, you got a poor med student pregnant, and told her in no uncertain terms that you wanted nothing to do with it, which by the way was a real dick move,” she began, and Elijah wanted to laugh as he watched the horrified look on Klaus’ face and the stunned one on Vincent’s. “And, now said med student moved here with her daughter, and when she told you the truth, you still acted like a dick!” she continued, her voice raising in pitch slightly, and Klaus just stood there, a wounded look on his face, like a lost puppy. “Which, apparently prompted our dear older brother to lecture you. But, of course, you don’t take well to lectures, so you managed to piss him off, too, because he punched you. And, you punched him back. Am I hitting warm?” The two of them nodded. 

“Piping hot, Bekah,” he quipped, a guilty look on his face.

“Right. Now, I know Vincent won’t sue either of you idiots because he needs you both too much and you earn him more money than he’d make from a lawsuit,” she said, smirking. Vincent just shrugged. “But, would either of you like to press charges?” she asked, looking at both of them carefully. “Nik?”

“Nope, I deserved it,” he muttered with a sigh.

“Elijah?”

“No, sister, that won’t be necessary,” he said drily.

“Good,” she beamed. Then, she turned to Vincent, “Chief, anything you’d like to add?”

Vincent sighed, and sat there thoughtfully for a few seconds before clearing his throat. “You’re both suspended for two days,” he began, and the two of them groaned in sync. “And, I am requiring that you each take anger management courses,” he continued, and while Klaus looked down, Elijah sighed, and looked up, the ceiling suddenly becoming particularly fascinating.

“Vincent, I don’t think that will be necessary-” he cut in.

“Honestly, Vincent, it’s fine,” Klaus added.

“Oh, it will be necessary. Remember, I’m the Chief, what I say goes. You two are going. Together, or separately, I don’t care. But, I am not having Mikaelson sibling brawls become the norm around here. I’m tryin’ to run a damn hospital, not a kindergarten,” he snapped, annoyed.

“Fine,” they grumbled, reluctantly, in unison.

“Good. Now, go pack your things, I don’t want to see either of you for two days. And, sort out your shit while you’re at it. You two obviously have more to work out than can be handled in my office. So, I'm sending you to anger management classes. And I don't want to see either of you in my hospital until Psych tells me you're no longer a danger to yourselves and each other. Now get out of here before I change my mind!”

“Come on, you two,” Rebekah said, ushering them out of the office before bidding Vincent goodbye. As the three of them walked away from the Chief’s office, Rebekah glared at Klaus, her lips pursed. [It occurred to Elijah that she hadn’t specified what exactly had sent him over the edge and prompted him to punch Klaus in Vincent’s office, but she clearly knew from the way she was giving Klaus the silent treatment and glaring at him. Elijah didn’t really care, all he wanted to do was to go home and for the day to come to an end]. “Alright, well, Elijah I’m dropping you off at home,” Rebekah said once they reached the elevators.

Elijah gave her a look, “Rebekah, don’t be ridiculous. I’m a grown man, I can drive myself home,” he sighed in exasperation, and glared at her.

“I’m aware you’re a grown man, Elijah,” she rolled her eyes. “But, excuse me for being a little worried after you decked your brother in the middle of the bloody hospital,” she added.

“And why is it just me that you're afraid to leave alone?” he demanded. “Oh, yeah. Because I'm the one that's apparently one bad day away from spiraling out of control. Has it ever occurred to any of you that the stress of knowing that my own family doesn't trust me is actually not helping me?” he snapped, his voice louder than he’d intended, but he was so done. [It was one thing for his parents not to trust him, but the fact that even his siblings didn’t was getting on his nerves. He’d tolerated it at the dinner party, but Rebekah deciding to drive him home was just taking it way too far]. And with that, he turned around and left the two of them, going to his office to get his things.

* * *

Contrary to what his siblings thought, Elijah spent the two days of his suspension cleaning, not that there was much to clean in his apartment, and going for 5K runs both in the morning and in the evening, as well as boxing at the gym, and reading his latest book. His anger management courses were absolutely useless, and he avoided Niklaus at all costs, and preferred to deal with his anger by going to the gym and taking it out on the punching bag. But, he was itching to get back to work, needing to work and do surgery, to be useful, and there was another part of him that wanted to go to work because work meant seeing Hayley. Even if it meant he had to keep his distance, he still wanted, no, needed, to see her, and talk to her, hear her beautiful, contagious laugh.

Avoiding Niklaus wasn’t easy because his brother had called, and texted, and even dropped by to bang on his door and yell for him to open up so they could talk, but Elijah wasn’t ready, and he was grateful to his neighbor for yelling at Klaus to go, or she was going to call the cops. [Apparently, Niklaus was scared of an old lady calling the cops because he left him alone]. Elijah couldn’t say the same about his other siblings who had continued to call and text him incessantly, and sometimes he really considered throwing his phone out the window because he was so tired of their pestering. Of course, he had to pick up several times so they wouldn’t think he’d fallen off the wagon and stage an intervention, or worse, get their parents involved.

Unfortunately, avoiding his siblings, or Niklaus was about to become a lot more difficult because his suspension had finally been lifted, and Psych had confirmed that both him and his brother could return to work. [Vincent had also requested another tox screen to make sure, which he had complained about, but let it go].

As soon as Elijah changed into his scrubs and sat at his desk to deal with some admin work, there was a knock on his door.

“Come in!”

Aya entered, “hello, Elijah, glad to have you back,” she said, though she didn’t seem particularly happy.

“Hello, Aya, it’s good to be back,” he said politely.

“Just wanted to check in, you okay?” she asked in concern.

“Yeah… I’m fine,” he said, smiling tensely at her.

“Good. I hope that little stunt won’t happen again because I don’t like being left alone dealing with patients and surgery without my best ortho surgeon,” she said without preamble.

“I’ll try not to punch my brother,” he quipped sarcastically. Aya just rolled her eyes.

“Don’t even think about it, or Vincent will have you out in seconds,” she retorted. He nodded. “Right, well, I’ll see you around, Elijah,” she added with a curt nod.

“Yeah, see you around. Thanks, Aya,” he nodded, and then she turned and left, shutting the door behind her.

Most of his morning was uneventful, except for a few consults and a surgery until noon. He had lunch in his office, deciding to avoid the attendings’ lounge, not wanting to feel everyone’s eyes on him, or see Niklaus.

Unfortunately, his streak of not having to see his younger brother ended when he got paged to the E.R. for an incoming.

“Niklaus,” he greeted tensely.

“Brother,” Klaus smirked. “Glad you’re here.”

“I do hope this is an actual emergency and not you taking extreme measures to talk to me,” he quipped, rolling his eyes.

“It is an actual emergency,” Keelin confirmed as she came to stand beside them.

“Right,” he muttered just as the ambulance arrived and the three of them jumped into action.

“What have we got?” he asked the paramedic once the doors of the ambulance opened.

“Fifty-year-old male, Jim Lopez got into an accident with his lawn mower. GCS of 10, lost consciousness. He’s got shrapnel in his left upper quadrant. We’ve wrapped his foot, but think it might require an amputation.”

“Thanks,” he nodded. “Let’s take him inside,” he ordered and they rolled him in to trauma bay 2.

“And, one, two, three!” Keelin shouted. “Hook him up to monitors! He’s losing a lot of blood, we need O neg!”

Elijah went to examine the leg, which was a mess, “okay, this leg is gonna need to be amputated, but won’t know much until I get in there! I’m going to try to save it, I reckon Mr. Lopez might like to keep it.”

“I’m seeing a lot of shrapnel in here, this guy needs surgery ASAP,” Klaus added.

“Okay, book an O.R. now!” Keelin yelled at one of the nurses before coming over to his side to assist. The nurse returned seconds later with news that there was an available O.R. so they could rush him to surgery.

The atmosphere was icy as they worked, and nobody said anything other than to request for tools, or anything else surgery-related. Elijah attempted to spare the leg, but unfortunately couldn’t so he had to amputate it. Once the surgery was over, the orderlies and nurses wheeled the patient out, and the anesthesiologist left too, leaving the three of them to file out. Keelin left as soon as she rinsed her hands, leaving him and Klaus in the scrub room. Elijah rinsed his hands and wiped them off with the cloth, and was at the door when Klaus spoke up.

“Oh, come on, Elijah! Enough with the silent treatment! Look, I know I acted like a dick-” he started, but Elijah cut him off.

“What, Niklaus? Did you think everything would suddenly be fine and we’d just come back to work and all would be well?” he remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Klaus looked down guiltily.

“No, Elijah. Look, brother, I understand that you are angry, and I left you alone, but we can’t go on like this,” Klaus argued.

“You left me alone after my elderly neighbor threatened to call the cops,” he rolled his eyes. “Because, the fact is, Niklaus, that you can’t take a hint. You just never let up,” he added.

“Oh, and you do? You know, Elijah, you walk around all high and mighty, but you were just as bad. You could have left me alone, let me deal with the fact that I have a daughter, but instead you decided to come and lecture me. Which, I’m sure is because you have a thing for Hayley-” Klaus shot back, but Elijah cut him off.

“This has nothing to do with her! This has to do with the fact that you have a child, Niklaus. A daughter who needs you!” he snapped, annoyed to be having the same conversation with his little brother over and over again.

“No, she doesn’t. She has everything she needs in her mother, she doesn’t need me and my baggage and family drama!” Klaus shot back, and Elijah sighed. [So, this was what it was about. Hayley’s news had apparently brought all of Niklaus’ insecurities to the surface].

“Good God, Niklaus,” he rolled his eyes, “could you be any more dramatic? This isn’t about you, but about her. When you have a child, the family drama, your issues – all of that doesn’t matter because you are a father and that is the most important thing!” he argued. “Y- maybe you were right, I’m not a father anymore,” he continued, his voice almost breaking, and Klaus shook his head, opening his mouth to interrupt, but Elijah continued, “my son died, and I- my point is, Niklaus, that you have a chance to be a father, the father you never had, that Mikael or Ansel never were, but you’re throwing it away. Don’t throw it away, brother, because you might regret it. Do you think that when Katherine told me she was pregnant I wasn’t scared I might screw up? Sure, I never had to deal with everything you had to deal with when it came to Mikael, but still. But, I- I lost Jonathan, but I did have four amazing years with him, and I wouldn’t trade those for the world,” he said, his voice almost breaking, tears prickling at his eyes, but he blinked them back, refusing to break down right then and there. Klaus sighed sadly. “And, I- I would do anything to get him back, to be a father again,” he finished, choking back a sob.

“Oh, Elijah, I am so sorry. And, what I said- it wasn’t right. I was wrong. Just because Jon is gone doesn’t mean you’re not a father anymore, and I am so sorry I hurt you. I was scared and I lashed out, and for that I am sorry, brother,” he said sadly, his own eyes glassy.

“I forgive you,’” he said. Then, they both reached for each other, and Elijah let Klaus pull him into his arms, and he embraced him back, letting a few tears fall as Klaus held him tightly. Finally, he patted Klaus’ back and stepped away. “Thank you,” he muttered. Klaus just nodded.

“I’m not ready though, Elijah. I know that I need to accept it, but I- I’m not there yet. If Hayley needs anything from me, I’ll be there, and I won’t keep her away from the family, but I can’t be a father, yet,” Klaus added sadly. “I’m just not ready and I need you to respect that.”

Elijah gritted his teeth, but nodded reluctantly, “okay,” he muttered. Then, he turned and left, wiping his finger underneath his eyes to wipe away the tears that had escaped. The door to the scrub room opened behind him, and Klaus exited it just as Keelin came up to them.

“Mr. Lopez’ family is here asking for an update. And, Mr. Lopez is stable in the ICU, so we need to go to tell him how his surgery went once he wakes up fully, he’s currently just coming out of the anesthesia,” she announced.

“Okay, let’s go update the family, then you two can update Mr. Lopez,” Klaus replied.

Elijah sighed, “sometimes I really do miss the army. At least when something went badly, they could update both the family and the patient, or well, sometimes just the family.”

Keelin furrowed her eyebrows, “I get that when it’s bad news, but Mr. Lopez made it,” she said, sounding confused.

“Keelin, I had to perform a below the knee amputation to save his life. I’m not sure Mr. Lopez will take that well,” Elijah informed her drily. She nodded.

“Right. Sorry,” she sighed.

“C’mon, let’s go update the family,” Klaus said, and the three of them headed to the waiting room.

After updating the family, then the patient who began to cry when he realized he wouldn’t be able to run after his kids, and Elijah truly hated his job in that moment, Keelin got paged away while Elijah went to grab a cup of coffee. And, there she was, her dark hair pulled back in a tight braid. She took her coffee, then turned, and her eyes met his, and it hit him how much he’d missed her even in the short while he’d been gone. He couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Hayley,” he said by way of greeting, “hello.”

“Hello, Elijah,” she said, practically gritting her teeth and he noticed a hint of anger directed at him. He wondered if her anger was directed at him, and what he’d done to warrant it. “So, you were married to Katherine?” she finally said, practically snapped, and if he’d been carrying a cup of coffee he would have certainly dropped it. Instead, he just stood there, staring at her in shock.


	6. Some Things You Just Can't Speak About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Hayley confronting Elijah. The Mikaelsons' attitude towards Elijah gets on his nerves. When Hayley wants to know more about Elijah, it leads her down a dangerous path that might ruin their budding romance forever.

Elijah stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights, and if Hayley wasn’t so angry, she would have found it comical.

“Hayley, I-” he started to explain, but Hayley doesn’t let him.

“Don’t, Elijah,” she muttered, then brushed past him and stormed off back inside. As much as she had been wanting to know all this time, the bombshell Elena dropped on her in the scrub room stewing inside her, she just couldn’t hear it now. [If she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t actually angry at him, but mostly at herself. She just had to go and fall for a guy she knew nothing about. And, the one thing she _did_ know was that he was Hope’s uncle. And why was she even so hurt about this, anyway? After all, she was married herself though as far as she was concerned it was in name only because she didn’t come all the way to New Orleans just to be safe and away from Jackson. She was _done_ with him. And, maybe it wasn’t fair to take it out on Elijah, but he certainly acted like the attraction was mutual, so why did she have to find out such a huge thing from Elena Gilbert of all people]. “Goddammit!” she grumbled to herself under her breath, and nearly knocked a tray of medical tools down.

“Would you be careful?” someone snapped at her and she looked up to find Gia standing in front of her, her arms crossed.

“Sorry, Gia,” she said apologetically. “Wasn’t looking.”

“Well, that much was obvious. You okay, Marshall?”

“Yeah, fine. Just- it’s a weird day,” she nodded faintly.

“Okay. Well, I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you later. Try not to murder the equipment in this hospital, would you?” the other woman quipped, slightly amused, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“I’ll try. See you around, Gia.”

Hayley decided to make herself useful by going back to the E.R. after getting a snack from the vending machine and finishing her coffee. The E.R. wasn’t too busy, which Hayley didn’t mind because she was exhausted as it was. [Since both Elijah and Klaus had been suspended, she’d ended up pulling a double shift, leaving a pouting Hope with Aiden and Josh. She’d promised Hope she’d spend all day with her the next day when she was finally off the clock, and hoped that would make up for it].

* * *

While Elijah stayed on her mind the past two days, Hayley also started noticing a change in attitude from Cami. While they weren’t friends, they were friendly to each other in the halls, and Cami was one of the nicer doctors she’d met at St. John’s Memorial Hospital, but in the past few days Hayley had noticed that something had changed. She seemed to be cold and distant, and only spoke to Hayley if it was something to do with a patient. Hayley had tried to wave, or smile at her, but the psych doctor had just brushed her off. But, two, almost three days later, and it was getting on Hayley’s nerves.

“Hey, Cami!” Hayley called out when she spotted the other doctor in the E.R.

“Dr. Marshall,” the psych doctor smiled pleasantly as she turned to face Hayley. “How can I help?”

“Can I ask you something? A little more personal?” she asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” she shrugged. Cami walked outside the E.R., and Hayley followed after her.

“Look, Cami, I have no idea what your issue with me is, or if there is one, but if there is please just say it. Because, I don’t think this cold attitude is fair,” she started slowly, a little nervously.

“Hayley, let me just start by saying that Klaus is very much taken, so if you’re looking for someone that is more than a father for your daughter, you can look elsewhere,” Cami finally said after a few seconds of silence. 

“Excuse me?” she stared incredulously at the other woman.

“You can’t tell me you just came here your baby daddy just happens to live, and didn’t know that. Look, Klaus has a life here, a family, me, his girlfriend, you can’t just insert yourself into his life!” she exclaimed.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Hayley cut her off, slightly irritated. "I came to New Orleans because I was running from my emotionally abusive husband,” she finally said, her eyes locked with Cami’s, which had widened in shock. “I picked here because I have friends here. Had I known Klaus was here, I wouldn't have come here. He was the last person on Earth I ever wanted to see again, other than Jackson, and I didn't want Hope to meet him. Besides, I like ELIJAH." That last part wasn’t exactly planned, but Hayley didn’t really regret it.

Cami just stared at her, clearly in shock. “Oh…” she muttered, at a loss for words. Silence descended between them as they continued to stare at each other before Cami finally spoke, breaking the silence, “but, you told Klaus about Hope, and told him you wanted him in her life. So, what exactly do you want now?”

“Yeah, because I realized that it was really selfish of me to keep Hope’s existence away from him, and she deserves a father, and he deserves to know his daughter. Klaus didn’t take that well, but that is all I wanted, Cami,” she admitted, her voice softening at the end.

Cami still seemed unsure, “so, you and Klaus aren’t gonna start being one happy family?”

“No, Cami. Firstly, Klaus doesn’t seem interested in that, I can’t force him to be a father. I can try talking to him, but I can’t force him. Secondly, I like Elijah. And, thirdly, I’m pretty sure Klaus is head over heels in love with you,” she replied, smirking slightly at the end, and Cami’s expression relaxed, though there was a hint of disbelief. “Look, Cami, I get that Klaus isn’t really the relationship type, and that makes you insecure, but he does love you. It’s pretty obvious. So, just talk to him, but know that I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. For one because I like his brother, and for two because I’m still married,” added with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry. It’s just- Klaus wasn’t boyfriend material from the start. Actually, he was quite the mess, and we met… I was his therapist,” Cami admitted, averting her gaze, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort. “It took a while until he reached a level of emotional stability, and by then I had fallen for him so hard… then, we didn’t get together right away. There were a lot of complications, and I stopped being his therapist for a while. We drifted apart. And then, one day he just came into my office and kissed me senseless and we got together.” Hayley couldn’t resist making a stifled ‘aww’ sound. “Anyways, I know he wants to take it slow. It took us a while to actually move in together when we’d been spending several nights a week at each other’s place, so I know he wants to wait to propose. But, I- I guess I want that ring more than I’d care to admit and I’m scared that maybe he doesn’t really want to commit that much,” she admitted.

Hayley sighed heavily, “well, you won’t know unless you ask. Maybe you should talk to him about what you want,” she shrugged.

“Thanks, I will. So, that husband of yours, why haven’t you filed for a divorce?”

“Because then he’ll know we’re here, and I don’t want to put Hope’s life in danger like that, or endanger my friends,” she said slowly.

“Or, yourself. You know, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is after you leave, but hiding out here isn’t a long-term solution, Hayley. You have to consider your future, and Hope’s future,” Cami told her gently.

“I know,” Hayley sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I know. It’s just- Hope and I have finally adjusted here, and we’re happy. And, I don’t want Jackson back in my life because he’ll only bring about pain. I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder, or check my office for hidden cameras and recording devices. I don’t- I can’t go back to that. Finally, things are good, I don’t want to lose that,” she confessed, and reached to wipe away the stray tear that had spilled from her eye.

“I understand. Look, if you change your mind, Rebekah Mikaelson is a lawyer, and while she doesn’t specialize in these cases, she might know someone who could help you, okay?” Cami asked, touching her shoulder gently in comfort.

“Thanks, Cami,” she replied, smiling gently at her.

“Sure, no problem,” the other woman smiled, then they both went back inside, Cami getting paged upstairs while Hayley returned to the E.R. But, now that the Cami issue had been resolved, Elijah seemed to occupy a much bigger space in her mind, and Hayley couldn’t help but wonder what else was he hiding from her. She was leaning against the nurses’ desk, updating a patient’s chart on the tablets used by the hospital for that particular purpose when an idea came to her. After she was done, she decided that since the E.R. didn’t seem very busy she could take a few minutes to do something else.

Hayley was pretty sure this was a bad idea, and possibly unethical. But, it wasn’t just curiosity at this point. [But, Elijah, the one person she had told about Hope, the one person she was close to in this hospital is the one person who DOESN'T tell her anything about her daughter’s family. She found out exactly how Elijah is related to Hope, and about the others, from Kol. Kol. Now, she had found out about Katherine from Elena. So, she couldn’t help but wonder, what else is he not telling her that maybe she should know?] With a sigh, Hayley looked around to make sure no one was looking before typing his name in the patients’ directory and found the latest records were from two days ago after his fight with Klaus, which included his X-ray and a toxicology screen for alcohol which was clear. Hayley sighed. The X-ray she’d expected, but she wondered why they’d done a tox screen for alcohol. Did the Chief or someone else think he could have been drunk? And then, she saw another tox screen done earlier that day. She couldn’t help but wonder why there was another one. She then looked up Klaus’ name, whose latest records just showed his X-rays and tox screen from two days ago. _Why would Elijah have a tox screen done two days ago and repeated at the end of the suspension while Klaus only had one two days ago?_

“Hey, Hayley,” a voice said behind her. Hayley turned around and found Gia leaning against the desk, steaming cup of coffee in her hands. “How’s the hospital? Still standing?”

“Yup!” she chuckled and Gia grinned. “Hey, Gia?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you do Elijah Mikaelson’s tox screen?”

Gia nodded, “uh, yeah. Chief asked for one for both brothers. Guess he wanted to rule out it being a drunken fight,” she shrugged.

“Oh. Right. But, then why did Elijah Mikaelson get another one today?”

“I have no idea,” the other woman sighed and silence settled between them. After a while, she spoke up, “Hayley, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat,” she told her, giving her a pointed look. “Don’t snoop in attendings’ medical files.”

“Right, of course. What was I thinking? I just checked something in Elijah’s medical records since I was his doctor, then saw the second tox screen. Wanted to know if Klaus had one as well. He only had one two days ago, but not today. It’s probably nothing, forget I said anything,” she said with a shrug. “Anyways, I gotta get back to work.”

“Sure. See you around, Hayley,” Gia smiled and Hayley flashed her a brief smile before she walked away. But, despite brushing it off with Gia, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. _Why would the Chief run a tox screen in the first place? Why repeat it only for Elijah two days later?_

* * *

After Hayley had gone back inside, Elijah had stood there for a while, staring after her in confusion and shock. Eventually, he’d made his way to the coffee cart and grabbed a cup of coffee, just black this time, and gone back inside. Thankfully, he didn’t see Hayley again that day, though part of him wished he did, wanting to ask her how she knew, talk to her about it. Tell her it’s over and it was _her_ he was interested in right now, but he definitely didn’t do that because Hayley Marshall was far too good for him and certainly deserved better than his damaged self. He went home, to his loft in Algiers after dodging his siblings’ attempts at inviting him over, or going out, and reheated the pasta he had made the evening and decided to watch a surgery on his laptop for lack of something to do. He went for another run, and returned home with aching muscles, took a shower, then collapsed on his bed. The next few days passed in the same monotone manner, though Elijah couldn’t stop thinking about Hayley knowing about Katherine. [He kind of knew how she might have found out, that there was one person Hayley was well acquainted with who would have told her, but he hadn’t seen Elena either lately]. But, he’d realized that him and Hayley avoiding each other wasn’t going to help, so he’d resolved to confront her about what she knew, or offer her an explanation, or both.

Elijah sighed as he walked away from the O.R. area after a long and grueling surgery. He’d spent most of his morning in the O.R. with Marcel and an intern, and he could barely feel his own body. He needed coffee and something to eat before he got pulled in surgery for the rest of the afternoon, too. After getting coffee from the cart outside the hospital, Elijah headed back inside, but not before finding himself face to face with the large sign of the hospital. _St John’s Memorial Hospital, New Orleans_. Of all the hospitals in this damn city for his siblings, and himself to work at, it had to be the one whose very name was a constant reminder of everything he lost. He had enough memories as it was, was constantly reminded of Jonathan and losing him, he didn’t really need another one. But, here it was. Constantly throwing it in his face. After taking a sip of his coffee, he headed to the attendings’ lounge where he could hear people talking loudly, but as soon as he opened the door, they fell silent, which wasn’t a surprise because the lounge was currently only occupied by Niklaus and Freya. [It was obvious they’d been talking about him from the way they’d all averted their gazes, the way they suddenly seemed very into their food].

“Hello,” he greeted them as he went over to the fridge to grab his container with food.

“Hey,” Freya said as she continued to eat her salad, not quite looking at him which only depleted his mood. “How is it being back at work?” she asked.

“Fine,” he shrugged.

“How was the suspension?” she continued to ask him. Elijah furrowed his brows, slightly confused by her questions since it had been a few days since he’s been back at work.

“Freya, I’ve been back at work for a few days now,” he informed her. “And, we’ve seen each other since I’ve been back. So, why exactly are you asking me about being suspended?”

His older sister just shrugged, “I was just curious, Elijah, relax.”

“Curious or concerned?” he retorted, already knowing where this conversation was going, and rolled his eyes.

“Bit of both, really,” Niklaus piped up from where he was eating his lunch. “We all have been, Elijah.”

“Well, you would know, Niklaus, since you were suspended along with me,” he bit back. “And, nobody seems to be concerned about you even a few days later,” he added, raising an eyebrow in his brother’s direction. Klaus nodded and sighed.

“Well, he’s not-” Freya started to say, but he cut her off.

“Not a recovering alcoholic? Thank you for reminding me, Freya, I’d almost forgotten,” he retorted sarcastically, gritting his teeth. “It was just a suspension, not the worst thing that happened to me. No, that was my son dying in a car crash, but none of you would know anything about that, right? I mean, why should you care, it was… what? Two and a half years ago? That’s enough time for Elijah to stop wallowing!” he snapped, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and he noticed Freya look down sadly, but he didn’t care because he was so tired of his siblings’ attitudes. “You all just treat me with kid gloves like I’m one bad day from spiraling out of control! Well, for your information, I am fine. I go to my meetings and I have a sponsor and I manage just fine!” he spat. For a moment, nobody said anything, both Klaus and Freya stunned to silence from his outburst. The microwave beeped, alerting him that his food was heated, and he grabbed it and his fork, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He’d just eat in his office in peace and quiet and not have to deal with his siblings’ condescending looks and fake concern.

It just seemed like this was his lucky day because as he was walking down the hall towards the stairs to go up to the Ortho wing, he saw another of his siblings, though this time it was Kol who had always been more laid back.

“Hello, brother,” his younger brother greeted him. “How is it back at work?” he asked casually, but Elijah was still seething from his confrontation with Freya and Niklaus. “Hope you didn’t go too stir crazy during your suspension, and that at least you found ways to pass time.”

“Really, Kol? You, too?” he all but snapped. Kol stared at him, slightly shocked. “Just because I’m a recovering alcoholic doesn’t mean that I’m going to fall off the wagon just because of a suspension. For your information, Kol, I found things to do over two days of not going to work, including going to a meeting. I’m fine. And, like I told Niklaus and Freya, a suspension isn’t the worst thing that happened to me! I’ve been sober for the past two and a half years, and I go to my AA meetings and have a sponsor, and I am fine,” he practically growled. “But, I have had enough of you all treating me like I’m one bad day from falling off the wagon!” he shouted the last part, and Kol noticeably flinched.

“Sorry, Elijah, we’ve all just been a bit concerned, sorry,” his brother sighed apologetically.

“Well, your concern is unnecessary because Vincent had them do another tox screen the day I came back to work,” he retorted drily. Kol nodded, and brushed past him, clapping him lightly on his shoulder. Elijah sighed heavily, and turned around to head towards the Ortho wing, but as soon as he did he saw Hayley Marshall standing a few feet away from him, clearly within earshot, a shocked look on her face that she was struggling to compose, and he immediately knew that she had heard that entire outburst. He opened his mouth, though he wasn’t sure why, then closed it as he stood there, unmoving, staring at Hayley who had looked away. He couldn’t do this, not now. So, he just brushed past her and walked to his office in the Ortho wing.

* * *

Unfortunately, Elijah didn’t have peace and quiet for long because as soon as he sat down, there was a knock on his door, and he groaned as he yelled at whoever was on the other side to ‘come in’. It turned out to be Hayley, which wasn’t surprising because she didn’t strike him as the ‘forget about it’ type. Really, he had no illusions that she wouldn’t follow him, even into his own office. At least, here, if it got to be too much for him, he could kick her out, and not storm off like a child again.

“Oh… it’s you,” he muttered. “Did you follow me here?”

She blushed, and looked down. “So, what if I did?” she quipped as she stood in the middle of the room, so he stood up as well. “Not like you ran off, and you did tell me to come in,” she added, giving him a pointed look.

“I suppose I did,” he sighed. “And, perhaps we should talk,” he added.

“Yeah, maybe we should. Considering, you’re the one person who knew about Hope almost from the start, and considering that we almost kissed, I don’t think it’s fair that I had to find out things about you from other people,” she said, though there was a hint of anger in her voice.

“Well, maybe that is fair, but I hardly know you, Hayley. I don’t have to give you the cliffnotes version of my life,” he remarked, his own voice tense. She pursed her lips, and held his gaze.

“Right. You could have at least told me how exactly you are related to my daughter! I had to find out you’re Hope’s uncle from Kol!” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. Elijah sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Fine, forgive me, Hayley, for not telling you that. But, I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” he sighed.

“Not a big deal? Yeah, of course it wasn’t a big deal… except, maybe I should have known that _you_ ’re my daughter’s uncle!” she practically shrieked.

“Why does that matter?” he shot back, though a small part of him knew why it mattered so much to her, but he wasn’t going to admit it to himself, not to mention Hayley.

“You know why,” she growled, her lips pursed, her gaze locked with his. “I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but… the attraction seemed mutual to me,” she added in a slightly softer voice.

Elijah sighed, and his heart soared because Hayley had admitted that she was into him. But, he quickly pushed that sliver of happiness down because it was better to make it clear that while the attraction was mutual, nothing could actually come of it. She was so amazing, and smart, yes, a little stubborn, and he was too damaged, in too much pain, a recovering alcoholic, and in no way the right man for her. She deserved better. Even if selfishly he wanted her, he would let her go.

“You’re not wrong, Hayley,” he said slowly, and he wondered if it was just him, or was the distance between smaller. “The attraction- this thing between us… it’s mutual,” he confessed, and he heard her breath hitch in her throat, as she continued to gaze deeply into his eyes, her green eyes shining brightly. “But, that’s all it can be,” he added, and he saw disappointment flit across Hayley’s face.

“What? Why? Is it- is it because of the way I acted when I asked you about Katherine? I mean, sure, I shouldn’t have just stormed off, I was just- I was mostly angry at myself because I know nothing about you, and still I feel… I _like_ you, Elijah,” she said softly, putting emphasis on the word ‘like’ and Elijah’s heart beat faster at the admission. “And, yeah, it pisses me off that I know nothing about you, but that’s why I followed you so we can talk about this. I just wish I’d found out you used to be married from you, and not Elena Gilbert of all people!” she exclaimed, clearly annoyed, and he couldn’t help but be a little amused at that. And, another part of him was annoyed with his former sister-in-law for putting her nose in his business when it didn’t concern her. [He’d talk to her later, though, he and Hayley still had a lot to talk about].

“It- it’s not that…” he sighed, “it’s- I just- I can’t, Hayley, I just can’t… I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I led you to believe there could be something between us, but the truth is that it can’t,” he said, and his own heart was breaking even as he spoke the words. To say nothing of the hurt expression on Hayley’s face, her eyes shining with unshed tears. And, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly, comfort her and make sure she wouldn’t cry because of him, but he couldn’t because it would just be unfair of him to do so. They stood like that for a few seconds, staring at each other, neither of them saying anything.

“Is it… is it because you’re in recovery?” she finally said, breaking the silence. “Because, I don’t- I don’t care about that, Elijah, I mean, I had a slight suspicion after I saw the second tox screen in your records, but I-” she rambled slightly, but he cut her off once her words registered in his mind.

“You did what?” he snapped, cutting her off.

“I- I just, I had no idea what was going on, and I- you weren’t telling me _anything_ , Elijah, and I just- I just wanted to know more…” she trailed off, and pressed the heel of her palm to her eyes, to keep herself from crying. “So, I looked you up in the patients’ directory and found your records, and I found the tox screen done the night you got into the fight with Klaus, and then one done the day you returned, and I assumed… I didn’t know for sure, not until you went off on Kol, but I- I know it was stupid and snoopy, and I should have just asked you, but I- I’m so sorry,” she admitted, and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks, and Elijah’s heart clenched because he hated the sight of Hayley crying, but he was hurting, too. He couldn’t believe she had done this, that she had snooped through his medical records, that she could do this. “Please say something,” she added tearfully.

“You-” he started, and chuckled bitterly, but cut himself off, “not only did you invade my privacy, but you also broke my trust. How could you? I don’t- I don’t open up, I don’t trust people easily, and you broke my trust and went behind my back…” he paused, and he felt tears threaten to fall from his own eyes, “y- you betrayed me. And, I cannot forgive that,” he finished. “You should go,” he added because he couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t look at the woman for whom he felt things he’d thought were buried deep within, things he hadn’t felt in years, when she had hurt him so badly.

“Wh- what?” she mumbled, her voice thick with emotion, her eyes filled with tears, “Elijah, I- let’s just talk about this-” she cried, but he couldn’t do it.

“There is nothing to talk about, Hayley. Just- just go… please, just go… I- I can’t even look at you,” he finally said, his voice cold and devoid of emotion even though his own heart was breaking.

Hayley gave him one more tearful look before she turned to go, but stopped at the door. “I really am sorry, Elijah,” she said softly. Then, she turned the doorknob and left.


	7. Make Sense of What You've Seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Hayley and Elijah's fight, both Hayley and Elijah are trying to figure out their feelings. When Hayley and Elijah end up in surgery together, Hayley finds out something about his past.

Hayley left Elijah’s office almost in a trance while tears fell down her face. Gods, she’d really screwed up because the look in Elijah’s eyes when he basically kicked her out was haunting. But, then, part of her was mad at him because he did feel the connection between them, was attracted to her, and yet he still pushed her away. Didn’t she have a say in whether or not something could come of this thing between them? Wasn’t she part of the equation, too? Sure, he was her boss, but when it was just them she had always felt equal to him. And now, Elijah had just decided that nothing could happen between them without giving her much of an explanation, and just shut her down. Sure, what she’d done had been bad, but she couldn’t help the fact that she knew nothing about him. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice who she had bumped into until said person grabbed a hold of her arm to steady her.

“Hey, watch it!” It was Klaus, and Hayley suddenly wished for the ground to just swallow her whole. Of all the people she could have run into as she was trying to leave with her dignity still intact despite the tears streaming down her face, and she had to run into Klaus Mikaelson.

“Klaus,” she muttered, and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her coat, though she was pretty sure that didn’t really help the situation.

“Hayley? What are you doing here?” Klaus asked, a hint of concern in his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just- nothing,” she mumbled, and sniffled slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, for starters, I work here,” Klaus remarked, and Hayley scoffed, rolling her eyes. “But, as for what I’m doing in the Ortho wing, my older brother’s office just so happens to be right around the corner, and I thought I’d drop by for a visit,” he shrugged casually.

She nodded, “huh… okay, well, just- you might want to be prepared,” she said quietly, so quietly that if Klaus hadn’t been standing barely a few inches from her, he wouldn’t have heard her.

“Prepared? Prepared for what? You might remember I gave pretty good when Elijah and I got into that fight,” he quipped, looking slightly confused.

“Please don’t fight again,” she sighed. “And, I’m aware how good you gave. I was just- Elijah’s just not in a good mood, so be prepared. But, I doubt he would actually do something,” she said, shrugging casually. Klaus’ eyes widened.

“In a bad mood? Well, what happened? I’m almost sure you’re coming from his office, so what happened?” he asked, though he didn’t seem surprised.

“Well, I-” she cut herself off, and sighed. “It was just a stupid fight… and, yeah, I made some mistakes, but,” she hesitated, not sure whether she should admit to Klaus, Elijah’s brother AND one of her bosses that she went through Elijah’s records to figure out his drinking problem. [That would certainly not end well, she would probably lose her license, and she couldn’t do that. Because all she had was Hope and being a surgeon, and she couldn’t lose one. She was a mother and a surgeon, and she had worked her ass off to be both, and she wasn’t sure she could only be a mother].

“Oh, what did he do?” Klaus asked, immediately knowing what her little hesitation meant. “I swear to God, that man can be such an arse… and, this is coming from me,” he quipped, groaning.

“I-” she swallowed, still not sure how much she could, or should divulge to Klaus. “We were just- Elena told me Elijah used to be married… to Katherine… Elena’s sister…” she finally said, and Klaus’ eyes widened a little.

“Oh. Oh. That. Yeah, that was quite the mess. And, Katherine turned out to be quite the bitch,” Klaus smirked slightly, “broke his heart.”

Hayley exhaled heavily, and sniffled, wiping her eyes once again, but didn’t say anything.

“So, you confronted Elijah with this knowledge of yours, and what did my brother do that had you running out of his office in tears?” Klaus remarked, slightly amused. “That doesn’t seem very fair of him, and my brother does pride himself in being the noble brother,” he added. And, then something seemed to click for Klaus because his eyes widened in realization. “Oh. _Oh_. You fancy him. Well, that makes sense. I mean, he is handsome and he’s related to me, and we slept together, so that’s kind of fun,” he chuckled, and Hayley rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, he told you nothing could come from this connection you share even though he feels the same?” Hayley pursed her lips and looked down, though that was answer enough for Klaus, who looked up, then down.

“What an idiot,” Klaus muttered. “I do apologize, love. My brother has many charms, and he is a good man, but he can also be a bloody idiot. But, if you want someone to psychoanalyze him, you should ask my girlfriend who happens to be a shrink. In the meanwhile, I can go talk some sense into my brother,” he told her, flashing her a tense smile.

“Thanks, Klaus. I, uh, I did say some things, too, but-” she cut herself off, then continued, “and, thank you for your offer, but I don’t think it will help at this point. Let me… maybe Elijah and I just need some time, or something… maybe, we just need to figure it out… But, I will go talk to Cami,” she told him, and smiled back, though it wasn’t quite a full smile.

“Alright. If you want me to, though, please let me know. Though, I might have to pick somewhere outside the hospital in case it turns violent,” he quipped, smirking slightly.

“Okay, will do. Thanks.”

“Alright. Take care, love,” Klaus nodded at her, and she nodded back before walking away, but then she stopped and turned around.

“Klaus?”

“Yes, love?”

“This doesn’t make us friends. This doesn’t make us anything, really. So, don’t call me ‘love’ because you were a dick to me from the moment I told you I was pregnant with Hope and you abandoned me every time I needed you. At least Elijah has been there for me even though he’s pushed me away. But, don’t mistake this for some sort of friendship, or mutual agreement. We just work together; you’re an attending, and I’m a resident, and that’s all. And, as far as Hope is concerned, you are just the sperm donor, not her family, or my family!” she told him firmly, not about to bullshit around with him. “Have a good day, Dr. Mikaelson,” she added before finally walking away, tears in her eyes.

* * *

Aiden opened the door as soon as Hayley rang the doorbell, and Hayley was greeted by a half-asleep Hope, barely holding onto Aiden.

“You look like you had a rough day,” Aiden quipped, flashing her a smirk as he ushered her in.

“Something like that,” she muttered with a shrug. “Hi, baby,” she then said to Hope, and Hope looked over at her tiredly.

“Hi, mommy! I missed you loads,” her daughter told her, and yawned, and Hayley smiled fondly at her.

“I missed you, too, angel,” she cooed, leaning over to press a kiss to Hope’s forehead. “You ready to go home?”

“Yeah…” Hope yawned again, and that was enough of an answer for her, “I wants to sleep with you, mommy.”

“Okay, baby. C’mon, let’s go and you get to sleep with me tonight. And, tomorrow we can spend all day together,” she said softly.

Hope grew serious, “but, mommy,” she said slowly, “I have school tomorrow,” she informed her, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, look who’s being Little Miss Responsible,” she quipped, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips, “well, sweetie, I thought that since I’ve been at work for so long, we could hang out tomorrow and you wouldn’t have to go to school,” she told her, a small smirk on her lips. Despite her tiredness, Hope immediately lit up at that.

“That sounds awesome, mommy! You’re the bestest mommy in the whole world!” she shrieked, and both Hayley and Aiden burst out laughing.

“Alright, kiddo, let’s get you to the car,” Aiden managed to say once he had stopped laughing. “Hales, her things are over there,” he added, gesturing to the couch, and she went to grab them before rushing to open the door for Aiden who was carrying Hope. They went down to her car, and Aiden settled Hope into the car while Hayley put Hope’s things into the trunk.

“Thanks, Aiden,” she said after closing it. “Honestly, thanks for everything… and, I promise I will find a babysitter. It’s just… things are a bit crazy right now,” she told him, and flashed him a tense smile. “With the hospital, and everything…”

“Hey, don’t sweat it, Hales. It’s cool, we love having her. Besides, with Josh busy studying, I get bored, so your kid is actually doing me a favor,” he shrugged casually.

“Well, you let me know when you get bored of babysitting a seven-year-old, kay?” she quipped in amusement. Aiden just rolled his eyes.

“Alright get out of here!” he snorted, and she shook her head. They exchanged a quick hug before she got into the car and drove home.

* * *

After Hayley left his office, Elijah locked the door, then leaned against it and sighed heavily, letting out a deep shuddering breath as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. [He couldn’t believe how horribly wrong that conversation had gone, the heartbroken look in her eyes when he pretty much rejected her after admitting that he did feel something for her, something he hadn’t felt for anyone in so long. But, he also felt the hard sting of betrayal, the pain of what Hayley had admitted to doing and what it meant, and he had to admit it hurt. It was true that they didn’t really know each other, and yes, he hadn’t exactly told her much, but at the same time he had trusted her in a way he hadn’t trusted anyone, and still she had broken that trust]. Elijah choked on a sob as tears finally fell from his eyes and down his cheeks, and he sunk down to the floor, drawing his knees close to his chest, and put his face in his hands, and finally let himself cry. Because, it wasn’t just that Hayley betraying him hurt, but Hayley’s betrayal reminded him of finding out Katherine was cheating on him, and the way that had fallen apart.

Eventually, he managed to pull himself together and wiped the tears from his cheeks before he stood up and straightened himself, and just in time, too, because there were a few knocks on his door. He opened it to find his brother standing in front of him.

“Well, you look just about as bad as the mother of my child,” Klaus said by way of greeting.

“Niklaus, I’m not really in the mood,” he grumbled, sighing heavily as he leaned against his desk.

“You don’t say,” his brother quipped, rolling his eyes. “I just wanted to check on you after your little outburst in the attendings’ lounge, then I ran into Kol and found out you went off on him, too, and now I found out that you also kicked the mother of my child out of your office and reduced her to tears. And, look, we all have bad days, but, honestly, Elijah, I think you took it a little too far,” Niklaus continued.

Elijah had to snort at Niklaus calling Hayley ‘the mother of his child’, and rolled his eyes, “and, how would you behave in my place Niklaus? When your entire family treats you like you’re about to fall apart and spiral out of control anytime you’re having a bad day? Look, I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. I’m not about to fall apart,” he snapped, and he noticed Klaus wince slightly.

“Look, Elijah-” his brother started, but Elijah wasn’t in the mood.

“Niklaus, if you’re here to lecture me, you picked the wrong time. I’m not in the mood, and I need to go soon,” he cut him off, and Klaus sighed heavily.

“Fine, Elijah. Let’s do this your way,” he sighed, then turned to go. “I know you are mad at everyone, but none of us are giving up on you. No matter how hard you push us away. So, when you need us, we’ll be here because we are your family. Though, I’m not sure I can say the same about Hayley, but that’s up to you,” he finally said, and nodded curtly at him before he twisted the doorknob.

“Niklaus?” he called out softly.

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” he muttered, bowing his head, and Klaus nodded again before he finally opened the door and walked out.

Elijah packed his things and changed out of his scrubs, and finally managed to leave a while after Klaus left his office. Lucky for him, he left just in time to make it to a meeting. After his meeting, he just went home and went for a run trying not to think of everything that had happened, Freya’s intruding questions, his outburst with Kol, Hayley confronting him not once, but twice, his and Hayley’s conversation, and most of all, Hayley’s betrayal. He took a shower after his run and made a salad for dinner before he went into his room and got ready for bed. He reached for his book from his nightstand, and noticed the frame picture on it, and his heart clenched as he looked at the picture of himself with Jonathan perched on his shoulders, mid-laugh, his small hands holding onto Elijah by his hair, and Elijah himself was laughing, too, and he almost didn’t recognize himself because he was certainly no longer that man. That man was a father, and Elijah wasn’t a father anymore. Wiping away the tears in his eyes, he grabbed his book and decided to immerse himself in it, ignoring the ache in his chest.

* * *

The day after, Elijah didn’t see Hayley at all, but that was because it was her day off since she had pulled double shifts. Most of his day passed monotonously, and he spent the majority of it in surgery along with a few consults with little time to think about the day before, though in some ways it stayed on his mind as Hayley’s tearful expression was now ingrained in his brain. He still wasn’t sure he could forgive her, or even face her, but a small part of him missed her, missed her contagious laugh, missed her smile, her sass, just everything about her. But, seeing her would just bring the hurt she had caused to the surface, so Elijah didn’t exactly mind that too much. He also did his best to ignore his siblings, in particular Niklaus, because he wasn’t in the mood for a continuation of Klaus’ lecture, or a lecture from another of his siblings. And, this was no easy feat because four of his siblings worked in the hospital, and Rebekah often showed up on business. 

He’d just finished his third coffee and a snack when he got paged to the E.R. for an incoming. He raced to the E.R. and put on a yellow gown, tying it quickly before going to wait in the ambulance bay, where he was greeted by none other than Elena Gilbert.

“Hey, Elijah,” she said by way of greeting, and flashed him a quick smile.

“Hello, Elena,” he greeted her, and was about to ask her about her conversation with Hayley when the ambulance pulled in.

“What do we have?” Elijah asked as they lowered the stretcher from the ambulance.

“Thirty-five year-old male Zach Sullivan fell from his roof and landed in a pile of wood. Blunt force trauma, possible fractures, possible head injury, GCS of 7,” the paramedic reported.

“Thanks, let’s take him to trauma bay one,” he ordered as they wheeled him inside.

“Oof,” Elena muttered as she stepped closer to the patient to examine his head wound. “Did he shower in vodka?” she wondered as she began disinfecting the wound while Elijah examined his legs and paged for Meredith Fell.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Forgot to mention,” the paramedic grumbled. “He fell off his roof ‘cause he was drunk off his ass,” she informed them, rolling her eyes.

“How wonderful,” Elijah muttered in annoyance. As if his day could get any better, but the universe had long decided to make Elijah miserable.

“Yeah… wonderful, or somethin’,” the paramedic shrugged, then left.

“You gonna be okay with this?” Elena asked as soon as the paramedic left.

“Yeah, fine. I need to operate on his leg, or he’s going to die,” he told her neutrally just as the door opened, and Meredith Fell entered.

“Ouch, this guy doesn’t look good. What’s his status?” she demanded as she grabbed the chart and scanned it quickly. “He needs a head CT STAT,” she added, looking up from the tablet’s screen.

“I need to operate on his leg, I’m already seeing signs of an infection, which doesn’t bode well,” he told her as he scanned the recent X-rays the nurse handed him.

“You might want to wait for that, GI Joe, we need to rule out any brain bleeds. Otherwise, what good is it going to do if you save his leg when he’ll be brain dead and won’t give a damn about it,” she cut in.

“I plan to save his life, Dr. Fell, not just his leg. Because it won’t matter if he’s brain dead or not when he goes into septic shock and dies,” he snapped, rolling his eyes. “Dr. Gilbert, would you please book an O.R.? You can scrub in,” he added.

“Septic shock won’t matter if he’s brain dead, Elijah, you know that. We do the neuro exam first, then surgery, you know that,” Meredith retorted, clearly irritated.

He sighed heavily, “fine, do what you want Dr. Fell. Dr. Gilbert, once you’re done with his CT meet me in the O.R. And, run his labs, too,” he finally gave in, gritting his teeth.

“Thank you, Elijah, it’s nice working with you,” Meredith said sarcastically, smiling at him sweetly, but he just rolled his eyes. “Gilbert, take him for a CT, then page me,” she added, then left, and he followed after her.

“You know this isn’t the army, right?” Meredith asked as soon as they were out of the trauma room.

“I’m aware, thank you very much. I wouldn’t have to see my siblings this much if I was in the army,” he said drily. “And, I wouldn’t have to deal with delivering any sort of news, either,” he added more quietly. Meredith just shrugged, and flashed him a quick smile.

“Yeah, life can be really unfair, Elijah,” she told him.

“Don’t I know it,” he muttered just as his pager beeped. It was a consult in the ICU. “Anyways, I have to go,” he announced.

“Right, okay. Well, nice seeing you, Mikaelson,” she quipped, smirking slightly. He nodded, and left.

* * *

He was fortunately proven wrong about the head CT which showed an internal bleed, so Meredith scrubbed in with him and Elena along with another resident. That might have been a good idea though, because it meant that Elijah didn’t have to deal with Elena just yet. And, lucky for them, surgery was a success, even though the patient had months of recovery ahead of him, and rehab if he wanted to avoid such accidents in the future. While the nurses took the patient to the ICU, the four surgeons filed into the scrub room to scrub out.

“It’s funny, you know,” Meredith started as she finished scrubbing out, “people like him live, and good people don’t make it,” she scoffed. Elijah tensed because in a way Meredith was right, and at the same time it hurt. This idiot made it after a massive brain bleed and almost going into septic shock, and his son, his innocent Jonathan died without doing anything, just because a car ran the red light. _And, because you were too drunk to pick him up yourself,_ he reminded himself bitterly. But, he had been in the place of Zach Sullivan; he had reached that low and lost everything, and he didn’t think he deserved to still be standing, not after Jonathan.

Elijah sighed, “the universe can be cruel,” he muttered. “But, it’s not on us to decide who deserves to be saved, or not. We’re surgeons, we save lives; we’re not judges, juries, and executioners,” he added sadly.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Meredith nodded. “Well, I’m gonna go check in on our patient. Any family we can update?”

“Yeah, his boyfriend is in the waiting room,” Elena informed her.

“Alright, I’ll go inform him,” she announced, then turned to the other resident, “can you go check on him?”

The resident nodded, “yes, Dr. Fell,” he muttered and left. Meredith exited the scrub room, too, leaving Elijah and Elena alone. Elena finished scrubbing out, and was about to open the door, too, when Elijah decided that he couldn’t pretend like nothing had happened, he had to say something.

“Elena, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she said, turning to face him.

“Do you really hate me that much?” he said, not beating around the bush.

His former sister-in-law looked taken aback, and stared at him, confused, “what? Of course not, Elijah. Why would you even ask?”

“Because you seem to want me to be miserable,” he answered, his tone cold.

“What? Elijah, I don’t- what are you even talking about? Why would I want you to be miserable?” she exclaimed, her eyes wide. Her expression softened, “Elijah, even though you and Katherine are divorced, I still consider you part of my family, and I don’t want you to be miserable,” she told him. “Elijah, I want you to be happy, not miserable,” she added, her tone gentle.

“Let me ask you this, Elena,” he said slowly, and cleared his throat, “do you want me to just be happy, or do you want me to be happy with Katherine?”

“What? You and Katherine got a divorce, I mean- I would love it if you guys got back together, but I know that it’s just wishful thinking on my part. I mean, you made it clear to me a while ago that it was over between you two,” she remarked, her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, it is over. And, yet you took it upon yourself to inform Hayley of the fact that that Katerina and I used to be married,” he practically hissed, and he noticed Elena flinch, but he didn’t really care.

“Oh. So, this is about Hayley. Of course it is,” Elena said as realization dawned on her face. “I was just- I saw the way you two were acting, and I told her so she wouldn’t find out later when whatever is going on between you two had gone too far. Of course, Hayley denied that anything _was_ going on between you, but-” she burst out, but he cut her off.

“Nothing is going on between Hayley and me. But, perhaps you should have let me tell her about my past with Katerina. Because, she might have been your sister, but this has nothing to do with you, Elena. This is my life, and I’ve had quite enough of people making decisions to reveal things about me without asking me,” he snapped, though he hadn’t meant to be so harsh.

“You really like this girl, don’t you,” Elena said slowly, looking at him carefully. He sighed, and shut his eyes briefly, leaning back against the scrub room sink.

“That- it doesn’t matter whether I like her or not. Nothing can actually happen between us,” he said sadly.

“Because you’re an attending and she’s a resident? I doubt it would matter that much, I mean Cami was Klaus’ therapist when they first liked each other, and Rebekah is the legal counsel for this hospital while Marcel is a doctor here. It’s complicated, but doesn’t mean it’s impossible,” she told him, furrowing her eyebrows, still confused. Elijah sighed heavily, and silence settled between them.

“I- it’s not that. I- she’s- she is too good for me, and I- I have so many issues, Elena, I can’t… I can’t burden her like this. It would be too much,” he finally admitted after several long seconds.

“And, have you told her that?”

“Uh, not- not quite. I mean, I did tell her that this connection she feels is mutual, that I feel it, too, but- it’s ridiculous how much I feel for her and I barely even know her. If she knew just how much I,” he paused, and gulped, “care for her,” the word sounded strange even to his own ears, “she would probably run in the opposite direction.”

“But, doesn’t she feel the same? I mean, you did say you two share a connection which is mutual, so I’m confused…” Elena trailed off.

“Yeah, she, uh, she said she likes me, but I doubt she feels as much as I feel for her,” he said, and he was pretty sure he sounded like a lovesick fool, or a schoolboy with a crush. Elena just snorted, and shook her head, slightly amused.

“Oh, Elijah…” she murmured with a heavy sigh. “I’m pretty sure Hayley feels more than just an attraction for you, or she wouldn’t have played it off like that when I asked her. And, look, maybe I’ve been unfairly trying to still push you back to Katherine, and I’m sorry. I just- I miss the old times, you know?”

“I do, too, Elena, you know I would do anything to get him back. But, like I told you before, it’s over with Katerina, it really is. I- we couldn’t come back from it two and a half years ago, and… it’s been so long, we couldn’t possibly come back from it know. And, I- I could never forgive her for cheating on me, I just- I couldn’t get past that. And then, everything with Jonathan,” he choked on that part and wiped his eyes quickly, not wanting Elena to see him cry, “I cannot forgive her for that, for all of it. It really is over, and I need you to respect that, Elena.”

Elena sighed, and bit her lip hesitantly, “I know. I just- I guess some things can’t be fixed,” she finally said.

He pursed his lips, “sometimes they can’t,” he agreed.

“I’m sorry, Elijah, and I really do want you to be happy,” she said after a while as she straightened herself. “I should, uh, I should go,” she added, and was about to leave when she stopped and turned to face him once again. “Elijah?”

“Yeah?”

“Look, I know everyone has their own baggage, trust me, I know that more than anyone. But, it’s selfish of you to decide that Hayley might not be able to handle yours. You have to tell her, and you have to be honest with her. And, I know that might not be easy for you to do, I know you don’t open up to people, but if you really care about her, you can’t keep this from her. She has to know. And, let her decide whether it’s too much,” she told him firmly, and he sighed. “I know it’s scary, but you have to give her this choice,” she added more softly.

He nodded, “okay. Thank you, Elena.”

“I’ll see you around,” she said then left, leaving him in the scrub room. Elijah sighed, then decided to leave as well, his mind spinning. 

* * *

After spending the whole day with her daughter, Hayley was feeling slightly better about returning to work, even though whenever she wasn’t with Hope, all she could think about was Elijah and what had happened in his office. She sighed in relief when Marcel put her on Dr. Laughlin’s service, and even though she wasn’t exactly avoiding Elijah, she was glad when she saw his name on the O.R. board which meant he wouldn’t be in the E.R. So, she just spent most of her time in the E.R., except for a surgery she assisted Jo on, and didn’t really mind it that much. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about a certain doctor her mind replaying their fight in his office like a broken record.

“Um, earth to Hayley! Hayley!” Hayley finally looked up to find Cami standing in front of her, waving her hand in front of her face while Hayley was leaning against the nurse’s desk, completing a chart.

“Oh. Hi, Cami,” she said, smiling at the other woman.

“Are you okay?” Cami asked her, as she looked her up and down, concern etched on her face.

“Yeah, I was just… working,” she shrugged.

“Well, I thought you were hiding out here by the looks of it,” the psych doctor quipped, amused. Hayley gave her an unimpressed look. “Well, whatever you’re doing, take a break. Let’s go have lunch,” she continued, then paused as something seemed to occur to her, “have you actually eaten anything since this morning?” Hayley said nothing, which was answer enough for Cami. “Come on, let’s go,” she said, grabbing her by the hand.

“I’m not that hungry, Cami,” she protested, but that was proven to be a lie by her stomach rumbling. Cami gave her a pointed look. “Okay, fine. I’ll go have lunch with you. But, don’t you and Klaus spend your lunch breaks together?”

“We would, but Klaus is in surgery, so I thought you could replace him,” Cami answered teasingly.

“Ouch, that hurts. So, what, I’m just Klaus’ replacement? I thought we were better friends?” Hayley shot back, and Cami snorted, which caused Hayley to chuckle. They shook their heads and headed to the cafeteria to grab some food before going to eat it at the terrace outside, finding a spot just for two, slightly away from the crowds of residents and interns.

“So, what has you hiding in the E.R.?” Cami asked her, not beating around the bush.

“Nothing, I’m fine, I was just keeping busy,” Hayley shrugged, but Cami just gave her a look while Hayley took a bite of her salad.

“Hayley, you do know that I’m a shrink, right? I’m really good at reading people, so I know you’re lying,” Cami told her.

She sighed heavily, “fine. I’m avoiding Elijah,” she mumbled, her words all jumbled together.

“You’re what? You’re gonna have to repeat that,” Cami raised an eyebrow.

“I said I’m avoiding Elijah,” she said, slower this time, and Cami’s eyes widened.

“Elijah? What- oh, wait. You have a thing for him don’t you?” Hayley averted her gaze, but that, too, was answer enough. “Does he not like you back?”

“Oh, no, the feeling’s mutual. But, nothing can come of it according to him,” she groaned. “And, I honestly have no idea why because he definitely acts like the feeling is mutual, and says as much, but then why can’t anything happen?” she burst out, finally voicing the question that had been keeping her up at night ever since she left Elijah’s office.

Cami sighed, and then her eyes widened as something occurred to her, “wait, did something happen between you? Did you two kiss?”

“We almost did. I was, uh, I was treating him after he and Klaus fought, and- Gods, I wanted to kiss him Cami so bad. And, he looked like he wanted the same, but then nothing happened. And, then when I admitted that I like him last shift, he told me that while the feeling was mutual, nothing could actually happen between us,” she finally said, and Cami smirked a little. “I just- I’ve never felt like this about anyone, ever. Certainly not Jackson, God no. Elijah, he, uh, he just gives me the best kind of chills and when I’m with him, I feel whole, not like the broken girl I was with Jackson, crying on the bathroom floor every night we were together. But, he just doesn’t want to be all in, I guess, I don’t know…” she trailed off and sighed as she took another bite.

Cami looked thoughtful, “I don’t think Elijah doesn’t want to be all in. I think he does, but he’s scared. That’s a lot of commitment, and while he’s more into commitment than Klaus, he doesn’t really open up, and a relationship would require that kind of intimacy,” she remarked.

“Is it- is it because of Katherine? His ex-wife?” she wondered, slightly confused.

“Kind of. It’s- Elijah has issues, and that’s all I’m going to say about that because it’s not my place to talk about, that’s for Elijah to tell you,” she said gently.

“I know about he’s a recovering alcoholic if that’s what you mean by issues,” Hayley told her, and at Cami’s confused look, she went on to explain, “Kol asked Elijah something about how he was back from his suspension and Elijah kind of went off on him and said that just because he’s a recovering alcoholic doesn’t mean he’ll spiral out of control, and I may have overheard that.” Cami flashed her a pointed look. “Okay, I definitely overheard that. It’s not that farfetched, anyone within a few feet of them would have,” she shrugged. “And, it’s not like it’s a thing for me.”

“Yeah, but it is a thing for him. But, like I said, it’s not for me to say. Honestly, Hayley, all you can do is try to talk to him, but don’t pressure him too much. You have to give him time, too. And, if you want I can try to help with that, but that’s it. Whether he trusts you or not is up to him,” Cami told her, flashing her a quick smile.

“Yeah, I guess. Ugh, this is so… Gods, I just had to go and start falling for a guy I know nothing about who doesn’t want to open up to me, and also happens to be my daughter’s uncle,” she groaned and took a sip of her water.

“Yeah, this is one hell of a complication,” Cami snorted, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Still, he is…” she trailed off with a sigh.

“under your skin?” Cami cut in, and she nodded. “I’m sorry. Honestly, just give it time, Hayley, that’s all you can do,” she told her.

“Yeah… thanks, Cami. Thanks for the chat.”

“No problem.”

Hayley was about to say something else when her pager beeped, paging her for a surgery.

“Ugh, now I have to go. Sorry to cut this short, we should hang out more often. Thanks for everything, Cami,” she told her, standing up and pulling her hair into a knot.

“No problem, I get it. Have fun,” the psych doctor told her, her lips forming into a soft smile. “See you around, Hayley.”

“Yeah, see you,” she said, and left, racing to the O.R. floor.

It turned out that she was scrubbing in with Elijah, who was already in the scrub room when Hayley entered, and she had to do a double take at his scrub cap when she saw him. It was colorful, and nothing like Elijah himself; it was navy, and on top of it were dinosaurs in a variety of bright colors, mainly green, red, yellow and lighter blue. She grabbed a mask and began tying it, but couldn’t help but glance at Elijah, even as she grabbed the bar of soap and began scrubbing her hands. But, Elijah stayed silent, then went into the O.R., and said nothing that wasn’t related to the procedure or the patient throughout the surgery. They were no longer in synch like before, and the atmosphere was awkward and tense. 

“So,” she finally said, unable to reign her curiosity in when it was just the two of them in the scrub room after surgery and she was rinsing her hands, “what’s with the scrub cap? I never pegged you as a dinosaur person.”

When Elijah turned to her, his expression was sad, “it’s in memory of my son,” he mumbled as he grabbed a cloth towel to wipe his arms, and Hayley’s eyes inevitably widened.

“Kid? You have a kid? Never pegged you for the single dad type, or does he live with your ex-wife?” she commented without thinking, and then what he said finally clicked. “Oh. You said ‘in memory’… I’m so sorry, Elijah, I didn’t mean to be so insensitive!” she rushed out, immediately feeling guilty.

“It’s fine,” he finally said, and she noticed there was a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he was trying hard to hide what he really felt, but that tiny bit of sadness, and his voice had a slightly emotional edge to it.

Hayley bit her lip, unsure whether she should even broach the subject, but curiosity got the best of her. “What happened?” she asked as she grabbed a dry cloth herself. Elijah sighed as he continued to look through the scrub room window at the O.R., but said nothing. “I don’t mean to pry, Elijah, I get that this is difficult, I was just-” she cut herself off, and bit her lip.

Finally, Elijah turned to look at her, and it was obvious he didn’t want to answer her question, “Hayley, I don’t-” he paused, and swallowed, “it was a car crash. Please… just drop it,” he finally said.

“Okay… I’m really sorry, Elijah,” she said softly, and part of her desperately wanted to touch him, to offer him comfort, but she knew she had no right to do it, much less that he would welcome it, not after what had happened in his office, so she dropped her hand. Silence descended between them as they continued to stand in the scrub room, and Hayley wondered if she should change the subject, or say something else, but was saved by her pager beeping. “I should, uh, I should go… I- sorry, Elijah,” she mumbled, stumbling over her words, and turned around and exited the scrub room, leaving Elijah alone in the scrub room. And, now, she finally understood what Cami had meant by Elijah having issues, and it broke her heart.


	8. Look at How My Tears Ricochet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A case hits a little too close to home for Elijah, and when Hayley bumps into him, he finally reveals what happened to Jonathan.

After leaving the scrub room, Hayley quickened her pace while checking her pager. It was an incoming trauma, two incoming patients. She fixed her hair into a knot, and pressed the elevator button, actually hit it repeatedly. It was a lost cause; she would just have to take the stairs.

She managed to make it to the E.R., grabbed a gown and began tying it as she ran to the ambulance bay.

“Woah, Marshall, slow down,” Marcel said, amused.

She panted, and nodded at him in greeting as she tried to catch her breath.

“Here, let me help,” he said, then she felt Marcel’s hands on her own, so she let go of the strings and let him tie her gown.

“Thanks,” she muttered, still panting slightly.

“So, what’s up?”

“Just got out of a four-hour surgery. My back hurts like hell. Ugh. How’s your day?”

“Been in back to back surgeries. Got a kid with a mystery tumor no one can figure out. Another one in liver failure, top of the transplant list, but nothin’. And, I’ve got boards coming up,” he said, groaning.

“Yikes. You know, I actually considered working with kids when I started med school. Then, I got pregnant with Hope. I actually almost died giving birth to her, you know? My placenta ruptured, I had a massive hemorrhage. Doctors said it was a miracle I made it, but I did. My baby needed her mother, so I fought as hard as I could to make it. Anyways, after Hope was born I didn’t want to have to deal with parents losing their kids. So, peds was out,” she shrugged.

“Yeah, I get that. I ran from home when I was a kid. Lived in group homes for a while, and had to look out for the little ones, so I guess I kind of liked it. Besides, you know what’s the best part? Kids are so resilient that it’s somehow not as hard as with older patients. Sometimes, when it looks like they won’t make it, they just do…” he trailed off and sighed. She pursed her lips, but flashed him a quick smile.

“Yeah…” she muttered, but her mind was elsewhere. Or, rather with a certain doctor who was wearing a dinosaur scrub cap in memory of his son who had died, and Hayley had no idea how someone could go through something like that.

The E.R. doors opened once more, and out came Elena.

“Hey,” she said as she was tying her gown. “The MVC?”

“Yeah,” Hayley nodded.

“Little help here?” she requested, and Hayley went to tie her gown. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“What’s the ETA?” Elena asked.

“Two minutes out,” someone announced as the E.R. doors opened once more, and they all turned to find none other than Elijah Mikaelson come out towards them.

“Hey, man,” Marcel said in greeting. “You on this?”

“Hello, Marcel. Jo got pulled into an emergency surgery, so yes, I got put on this. You?”

“It’s a kid. So, yeah, I got this,” Marcel shrugged, and Hayley’s eyes flickered to Elijah’s but he didn’t say anything and instead just stared out at road and the sirens could already be heard. Finally, two ambulances roared in.

“What do we have?” Elijah demanded as the paramedic, the same brunette Hayley had seen a few more times, stepped out.

“Thirty-two-year-old Ashley Davis. GCS of 11. Driver of the vehicle that got hit, she was picking her kid up from school. Other driver, DOS, hit them at an intersection. Ashley’s airbag went off, but she did suffer from blunt force trauma and she’s got a head lac. Possible fracture, or at least a sprained elbow,” she reported.

“Okay, Marshall, Gilbert, take her to trauma 1, Marcel and I will take the other patient,” he ordered as they unloaded the gurney out of the ambulance.

Hayley glanced over at him, but he didn’t look at her, “Dr. Mikaelson, I can take the other patient with Dr. Gerard,” she said slowly. Finally, Elijah looked over at her, and raised his eyebrows.

“Thank you, Dr. Marshall, but I’m fine. Marcel and I got the other one,” he said firmly.

“Yeah, but-” she bit her lip, and glanced over at Marcel, but Marcel didn’t even blink.

“Dr. Marshall, I believe I’m running things here,” Elijah snapped. “I am an attending after all while you’re a fourth year resident transfer and haven’t even been here a month. Take Ashley to trauma 1, now,” he ordered firmly, and held her gaze for a second. Hayley nodded reluctantly.

“Right away,” she agreed, and she and Elena rolled him inside.

“Okay, let’s get her a full workup. And, one, two, three!” she ordered as she put her gloves on, and they put her on the bed. “Okay, Elena, you check her abdomen, I’ll take a look at that arm of hers. We also need to get her a head CT!”

“You know we’re in the same year, right?” Elena asked her, and Hayley looked up.

“Yeah, but I’ve clocked in more trauma hours since I’ve gotten here than you have in a whole year while you’ve been wondering around between peds, general, cardio and I don’t know what else. So, yeah, I’m running this thing. Now, check her abdomen for internal bleeding!” she snapped as did an X-ray of the arm.

“Right,” Elena muttered and grabbed the portable ultrasound.

“This arm is broken. We need to immobilize it right now!” Hayley yelled, and a nurse handed her a sling which she fastened it quickly.

“There’s fluid in the left upper quadrant, page Klaus!” Elena yelled while Hayley took care of the head lac.

“Ow, ow,” Ashley groaned, and shifted around, squeezing her eyes shut before trying to open them.

“Ashley?” Hayley stopped and stepped closer to her. “Ashley, you’re in the hospital. You were in a car crash,” she said slowly. “But, we’re going to help.”

“L- Lily… m- my daughter… where is she? She was in the back of the car, her car seat is in her dad’s car, and- oh, God, it hurts!”

“Lily is being taken care of, she’s going to be fine, but we need to take care of you, okay?” Hayley said slowly as she put betadine on the lac. “4-0 prolene!” she yelled, and the nurse handed it to her, and she started suturing it quickly.

“M- my ex-husband. Lily’s father… you need to find him- h- hhe needs to be here if-” Ashley stammered, panting slightly as if she didn’t have enough air.

“No ifs, Ashley, we’re going to do everything we can to make sure everyone’s okay. Dr. Mikaelson and Dr. Gerard are taking care of Lily, and we’re taking care of you. And, we’re going to find your ex-husband, but you don’t need to worry about that, okay?” Hayley said quickly.

Ashley nodded, and opened her mouth to say something, but it only came out as a raspy inhale as the monitors started going off.

“We need to intubate her!” Elena said after taking a quick look at the monitors and they lowered the stretcher.

“Okay, get me a 10-inch tube!” she ordered. “Crap, I can’t see anything, we need to crike her! Betadine and 15-blade!” she yelled, and held her hand out. The nurse handed it to her, then dabbed some betadine on before Hayley quickly made the incision. “Okay, tube!” she yelled. Once she put the tube in place, she looked up. “Okay, we need to get her to an O.R. right now! Did you page General Mikaelson?”

“Yeah, we paged him,” the nurse said quickly.

“Well, page him again STAT! Tell him to meet us in the O.R., we need to move!” she yelled, and they rushed her to the O.R. before Hayley and Elena went to scrub.

“Hey, Hayley?” Elena asked as they began tying their masks.

“Yeah?”

“So, look, I’m sorry if I- I’m sorry about telling you about Katherine and Elijah, it wasn’t my place to say-” she started nervously, and Hayley cut her off.

“It really wasn’t,” she snapped as she grabbed the bar of soap and began to scrub.

“Right. I’m sorry. Look, Katherine and Elijah… they’re over. I- what I said before…” she paused, and sighed, “it was just wishful thinking on my part. They’re probably better off now. But, I think he really does like you, you know?” Hayley gave her a look. “And, I think you should give him a chance. Don’t give up on him,” she added, just as Hayley finished, and she went to go into the O.R.

“Elena?” she turned around.

“Yeah?”

“I think you should really just mind your own business. What’s going on between me and Elijah is our business, not yours. So, just stay out of it, okay?” she snapped, a little breathlessly. “Now, let’s go, we have a surgery to do,” she added, and stepped into the O.R.

* * *

Elijah couldn’t help but watch Hayley walk away. He knew why she had been concerned by him taking the kid, and as much as he appreciated her caring, he didn’t have time for it, and he wasn’t going to not do his job just because a patient might hit a little closer to home. Marcel glanced at him in concern, but didn’t say anything. The paramedic from the other ambulance reported on the little girl, Lily, and they rolled her inside.

“Does she know?” Marcel asked as they started to work on her. Elijah raised his eyebrows, so Marcel added, “about Jonathan?”

“Vaguely,” he shrugged. “Let’s run a central line,” he added. “And, page neuro.”

“Right. So, she was a little concerned and you bit her head off? That was harsh,” Marcel said, giving him a pointed look.

“Yeah, well, I don’t need to be treated with kid gloves by a resident,” he snapped. “Start packing her, she’s losing a lot of blood.”

“A resident you have a thing for? Yeah, of course not,” Marcel retorted. Elijah rolled his eyes. “She’s got internal bleeding; we need to get her to the O.R.”

“Not until I get her a full neuro exam!” Meredith announced as soon as she stepped in. Elijah groaned. [When he asked for neuro, he had hoped they wouldn’t send Meredith Fell, but nope, that’s exactly what happened. And, now they were about to have the same argument as before, an argument Elijah really didn’t want to repeat].

“Hello, Meredith,” he greeted her, flashing her a quick smile.

“So, what do we have?”

“MVC. Drunk driver crashed into a vehicle. Lily was in the back, mom was driving. Driver hit them in the side. Mom’s in surgery, and we need to take Lily up, too, so if you could do your neuro exam quickly and we could be on the way to the O.R.,” he reported.

“Good God,” she said as she approached Lily. “Get drunk, and you cause so much damage,” she muttered as she checked her pupils. “Pupils are equal and dilated. Take her for a head CT,” she said. Elijah bristled at her words, but said nothing even though he knew Marcel’s eyes were on him.

“We don’t have that time,” he muttered.

“Elijah, let’s not repeat that argument. You know she needs a head CT to rule out any brain bleeds,” the neurosurgeon protested.

“We don’t have time for a head CT! Besides, you just said her pupils are equal and reactive, so she doesn’t have a brain injury, she’s fine,” he snapped. “She is bleeding, she has a pelvic fracture, we need to get her to an O.R. now! Hang more units!”

“No head injury we know of-” Meredith bit back but was cut off by the monitors going off.

“Crap. We need to intubate,” he said quickly.

“Her SATS are dropping. Get me a tube!” Marcel yelled as they lowered Lily.

“We need to open her up, we need to get her to an O.R. right now, she’s still losing blood!” he yelled. “Pack her and keep hanging units!”

“Hold on, let me just get the tube in! Damn it, I’m trying to see here!”

Elijah watched as Marcel tried to get the tube in, a nurse holding a light to help him visualize and breathed out a sigh of relief when he did. And then, the heart monitor started beeping.

“Starting CPR,” he muttered and began CPR. “Damn it. C’mon, Lily, c’mon,” he murmured as he pressed his fists against her chest continuously in a rhythmic thump-thump.

“She’s in V-fib!” Meredith yelled. “Let’s bag her!”

“Get me the paddles!” Marcel shouted. “Charge them to 200!”

“Clear!”

Nothing.

“C’mon, Lily, please,” Elijah murmured, still pressing his hands against her chest, his voice trembling slightly. “C’mon, Lily, c’mon…”

“Charge to 250!”

“Clear!”

“She’s still in V-fib, damn it! Continuing CPR!”

“Charge to 300!” Marcel yelled. “Clear!”

“Still V-fib. C’mon, Lily,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion, and he felt tears prickling at his eyes.

“Damn it,” Marcel mumbled. “Okay, let’s charge again to 300!”

“Clear!”

“No, please- Lily, c’mon, you can do this… c’mon, Lily…” His own voice sounded like it didn’t belong to him, shaking, and he swallowed back tears, but he knew that it was over.

Marcel cleared his throat, “Elijah, we should, uh, we should probably call it. She’s been down for almost 40 minutes and she’s lost a lot of blood,” he said slowly, but Elijah didn’t move.

“No, she’s- no, c’mon, Lily,” he practically begged, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“Look, man, I know this is hard for you, but we have to call it, okay?” Marcel said gently, but Elijah ignored him and continued CPR. And then, he felt strong arms around him as Marcel pulled him away.

“No, let go, I have to- I can still- I c-” he argued, but deep down he knew there was no point.

“Sorry, man. Time of death 19:35,” Marcel said sadly.

Elijah’s shoulders dropped, and he cursed under his breath, “fuck.” The surgical gown and gloves he was wearing suddenly felt like they were suffocating him, and he tore them off. He needed to get out and away, he need air.

“These things happen, Elijah,” Meredith said softly in an attempt to comfort him. But, Elijah had had enough of her.

“For God’s sake, Meredith!” he snapped as he turned to face her. “I’m in recovery for the past two and a half years! I fell off the wagon, but I got back on it, so stop with the jokes and the judgement! I got sober after I lost my son two and a half years ago in a car crash! So, shut up and stop being so fucking insensitive!” he shouted, almost choking on a sob, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and Meredith visibly flinched. And then, he turned around and left, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

After double-checking her pager was on, Hayley made her way upstairs to the roof. The sky was dark and cloudy, and the wind blew her hair, and there was Elijah. Hayley’s heart hammered in her chest and she wasn’t sure this was even a good idea. He stood at the edge of the roof, his hands resting on the railing, his back rigid, his head down.

“Oh,” she mumbled quietly, “it’s you. I’m sorry to intrude, I just- I needed some fresh air, but I can go.”

At first, Elijah made no sign of acknowledging her, but then he turned, his eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. “Don’t- don’t go, Hayley. Please… stay,” he finally said, his voice a hoarse whisper. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded and walked over to him, leaned against the railing herself, turning slightly towards him. Elijah looked out once more, his gaze trained somewhere out there, though Hayley didn’t know what exactly he was looking at. She gazed out, too, as she reached across the space between them, resting her hands mere inches from his.

She glanced over at him, noticing his set jaw and unreadable expression, and her own heart ached at the pain he was clearly in, and after what he told her in the scrub room, Hayley didn’t know how Elijah was still standing. “Elijah, I know I hurt you when I looked through your records, and I am really sorry. I promise I won’t do it again, I won’t tell anyone, but- I know you don’t open up, that you don’t talk about your son or anything to people, but you can tell me. I’m here,” she finally said, moving her hand closer to his, close enough that their fingers almost touched. 

There was a pregnant pause before Elijah finally spoke, “I appreciate your concern, Hayley, but I’m fine,” he pursed his lips.

“Well, you don’t seem fine,” she remarked drily, rolling her eyes. “Elijah, you can tell me… whatever it is,” she said after a while, bumping her shoulder slightly with his. “I’m here for you,” she added with a sigh.

“I’m fine, Hayley,” he snapped before finally turning to face her, and the dark, pained look in his eyes made her heart sink. “I told you, I’m perfectly fine,” he sighed in exasperation, but his expression was troubled, his dark eyes pained, and his lip trembled slightly. “I’m fine,” he repeated, but this time his voice wavered with emotion, and he let out a heavy sigh as he bowed his head. Hayley sighed, her resolve strengthening, and reached across the small space between them, and rested her hand on his, lacing her fingers with his, and pressed her body against his. She reached her other hand and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her properly and meet her gaze, gently caressing his cheek with her thumb, his stubble scratching her skin slightly.

“Hey, I’m- I’m right here, Elijah. You don’t have to hide, you can tell me, you know,” she told him gently. He sighed again, and shut his eyes briefly, leaning into her touch. “I don’t scare easy,” she quipped a little teasingly, trying to sound a braver than she felt even though her heart was racing and she had no idea what Elijah was so scared of telling her, and that particular fact scared her even more. But, she didn’t let it show, and instead continued to rub her thumb gently along his cheek. Finally, Elijah nodded, and squeezed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers before pulling away, and her hand that rested on his cheek fell on the railing.

“As you know, Katherine and I were married. We met at Oxford. She is from Bulgaria, and she was on an academic scholarship there. We slept together once, and then she said she had some family emergency and disappeared for about a year. After she came back, we got back together. I proposed at Christmas during our last year, and we got married that summer. We were- we were happy, Hayley,” he sighed, and swallowed thickly. “Gods, the- the part I struggle to reconcile with is that we were so happy back then… I can… hate Katerina for a lot of things, but I can’t blame her for bringing me unhappiness, at least not in those early days,” he explained, managing to force a smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “After we got married we started our residencies in New York. But, things started falling apart after-” he cut himself off, and swallowed back tears, and Hayley saw the tears glistening in his eyes as she reached to rest her hand on his shoulder. Finally, he took a deep breath, “after our son was born. Jonathan. His name was Jonathan,” he finally said, choking slightly on his words. Hayley’s own eyes filled with tears.

“Did you get a divorce because Jonathan died?” she asked quietly, rubbing his shoulder gently.

Elijah sighed, and shut his eyes briefly before continuing, “no. We were fighting long before then. And then, I found out she was cheating on me. With a guy who might as well have been my best friend in residency.”

“Oh, Elijah, I’m so sorry… that’s just- I’m sorry,” sighed, and pressed herself closer to him. “Is that why it’s so hard for you to trust people?”

“I suppose yes. Katerina, she- I loved her, but she broke my heart, and I guess that’s why I don’t- I don’t open up to people,” he said softly, and sniffled. Hayley took his hand in hers once more, her fingers wrapping around his hand while his didn’t, and she squeezed his hand gently.

“I can’t make promises, Elijah,” she said softly, and he looked over at her, “but I can tell you that I will try to not break your trust. And,” she paused, and took a deep breath, “it’s okay to let me in. You can let me in, Elijah, I’m here for you,” she finished, and swallowed thickly.

“We separated, were pretty much on the way to a divorce, and I moved out,” he finally said with a heavy sigh. “I mean, we could never come back from it, I couldn’t- I couldn’t forgive her for what she did, I just- I just couldn’t. Perhaps that makes me…” he paused, as if looking for the right word, but she cut him off.

“It doesn’t make you anything, Elijah, except human. Your wife, the woman you loved, the mother of your child cheated on you. It’s pretty unforgivable, honestly, and entirely on Katherine. Not forgiving her, it’s okay, it’s doesn’t make you anything. It just makes you human,” she told him firmly, though her voice was soft. Elijah nodded slowly, and held her gaze for a moment, though it was obvious he didn’t quite believe her.

“You know about my drinking, I guess,” he said slowly, and paused, looking out once again, “I fell off the wagon after I moved out. I mean, it was an ongoing issue for years, I suppose, ever since I was a fresher at uni in England,” he scoffed a little, “I don’t know. After Jonathan was born I kind of got sober, though not yet in a 12 steps way. But, after she cheated on me, I spiraled slowly. Jonathan mostly lived with Katherine, though I got him weekends, and sometimes during the week, though as my drinking got worse, Katherine would keep him for longer periods of time,” he continued, then paused, and choked on a sob, and Hayley noticed his eyes were glistening with tears once more. She squeezed his hand again in an attempt to comfort him, though she knew it wasn’t quite enough. [It occurred to her that Elijah’s drinking might have had something to do with Jonathan’s death, and she remembered him mentioning a car crash, and judging by how difficult it was for him to tell her, she couldn’t help but think the worst. But, she needed to trust him as much as he was currently trusting her, so she pushed the thought away and stayed silent, squeezing his hand instead]. “Anyways, this one time towards the end of our residencies, Jonathan begged Katherine to let him stay with me for a weekend, so I was supposed to pick him up on Friday from preschool and take him to my place,” he continued, and then paused and took a deep, ragged breath, sniffling slightly, and Hayley’s heart broke because she could see how hard this was for him, how painful it was, how it still hurt him, but she didn’t dare to say anything, and simply squeezed his hand. “But, I was too drunk, and I- I forgot. I didn’t even- I forgot to go pick him up,” he finally said, his voice shaking with emotion. “So, Katherine had to and-” he cut himself off again, choking on another sob, and Hayley’s own heart hammered in her chest, her stomach clenching, and all she could do was just squeeze his hand and press herself closer to him. Elijah took another shaky breath, and continued, his lip trembling, “another driver ran a red light and crashed into Katherine’s car- they took them to the hospital and called me… Katherine wasn’t injured as badly, but they had to take her to surgery, and then recovery while Jonathan-” he stopped, and finally laced his own fingers with hers and squeezed her hand tightly for comfort, and from the corner of her eye, Hayley saw as a tear slid down his cheeks, but he didn’t move.

She bit her lip, “oh, Gods, Elijah,” she murmured, “y- you don’t have to tell me if this is- Gods, I can’t even imagine, I’m so sorry, but you don’t have to…” she trailed off, and reached to wipe her eyes as a few tears fell down her own cheeks.

He sighed heavily, “I- the doctors did everything they could do, but the other car had crashed into the side where his car seat was, and- there was nothing they could do, he died,” he finally said, and Hayley’s heart broke, and she honestly had no idea how Elijah himself was still standing.

“Oh. Elijah, I- I’m- I’m so sorry,” she finally said, her own voice shaking with emotion. Elijah’s expression crumpled, tears finally falling down his cheeks, and he choked back a sob. Hayley reached for him then, wrapping both her arms around him and pressing herself against him, pulling him to her. Elijah stood, still in her arms, though he let her embrace him, and she murmured soft words of comfort, though she knew nothing she said could make it better. “I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she half-cried in his ear, and finally Elijah let out a pain-filled sob and wrapped his own arms around her, pulling her to him. He clung desperately to her as his body was wracked by sobs and he broke down in her arms. And, all Hayley could do was hold him and try not to fall apart herself. The only sound on the roof was Elijah sobbing, pent up grief finally coming to the surface as he clung to her, tears falling freely down his face, his body shaking from the sobs. And, Hayley just held him closer, as close as she could, her heart aching.

“He was four,” Elijah cried as she rested her head on his shoulder, “he was four and he was just… gone…” he wept unashamedly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and she rested her hand on his chest as he buried his face in her hair. After a few more seconds, he pulled away and wiped his face, though his eyes were still bloodshot and filled with tears, and his cheeks were tearstained. He swallowed, “and, it was my fault- I- he would never even have been there if it wasn’t for me being too drunk to pick him up,” he admitted, his voice trembling, “he wouldn’t have been in Katherine’s car, on that goddamn road if I- I let him down,” he sobbed brokenly. “It was my own fault, I- my son, my Jonathan he- he was just gone, and it was my fault…” he broke off with a sob, and Hayley’s heart ached as she stared into his eyes, and then Elijah closed his eyes, and more tears streamed down his cheeks, and Hayley reached for him once more, wrapping her arms around him and pressing herself to him while simultaneously pulling him to her. He embraced her back, and practically clung to her, burying his face in her hair while he continued to cry, his sobs filling the otherwise quiet night air.

“I’m… so sorry, Elijah,” she murmured sadly in his ear and sniffled a little. “I- what can I do?” she whispered, though she knew there was nothing she could really do, no way she could fix this, nothing she could do to alleviate his pain.

“Just- just be here,” he said, sounding choked, his voice muffled in her hair. “Just be here.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “okay. I’m here, Elijah. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Slowly, Elijah pulled away, and Hayley’s heart broke as she met his gaze. He looked completely wrecked, and was just starting to calm down. She bit her lip, not sure if she should, or could say something, but Elijah beat her to it.

“I- I’m sorry, Hayley… I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I- I don’t let people in, but after Lily, I just couldn’t…” he trailed off, and a tear slid down his cheek, but he wiped it away quickly.

“Don’t,” she said quickly, and stepped closer to him, and Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat. “Don’t apologize, Elijah… Don’t apologize for this, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, and I- thank you for letting me in,” she said softly, and desperately wanted to offer some form of comfort.

“You were right though,” he added sadly, “in trying to get me off the case. But, I- I’m so tired of my siblings treating me with kid gloves as if I’m going to spiral out of control any time, I just- I didn’t let you,” he admitted, and she rubbed his back gently.

“It’s okay, you thought you could handle it, but… it’s okay, Elijah,” she said softly.

“I am sorry for how harsh I was to you, though. I didn’t mean to offend you,” he sighed guiltily.

“It’s okay,” she said, her lips curving into a soft smile. His tearstained face was mere inches from hers, their noses almost brushing.

Slowly, she reached up and cupped his cheeks, rubbing her thumbs along his jaw, his stubble scratching her skin. There were barely a few inches between them, and she could feel his pulse quickening, her own heart hammering in her chest. And then, she kissed him. His lips were soft, but salty and wet from tears, and at first Elijah didn’t respond. But then he did, his own arms wrapping around her, pulling her closer, and he inhaled sharply. Hayley deepened the kiss, grazing his lower lip lightly, eliciting a low moan from him, and then her tongue darted inside, and she let out a low moan herself as Elijah’s fingers sunk in her hair and he tugged on it lightly. Their lips molded, and their tongues tangled together in synch. The kiss was a little sloppy, and wet since they had both been crying, but Hayley didn’t give a damn. And, as Elijah pulled her closer, his hands trailing to her lower back, she knew that neither did he. Finally, when air became a necessity, she slowly pulled away, but Elijah didn’t let her go, and rested his forehead against hers, both of them panting heavily, their noses brushing slightly.


	9. I Wish You Would

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Elijah try to figure out their relationship, and a patient sheds some light on the situation. Hayley meets Rebekah. After talking to Cami, Elijah finally tells Hayley what he wants.

Hayley got paged to the E.R. first thing in the morning, an incoming trauma was meant to be there soon, and most other residents and attendings were involved in surgeries, or not available for whatever reason. She groaned; she was running on one cup of terrible coffee and very little sleep.

She stopped by the nurses’ desk on the way out, “what’s the ETA on the incoming?”

“Five minutes,” the nurse replied, and she nodded.

“Thanks,” she muttered with a quick smile before she grabbed a yellow gown and jogged to the ambulance bay. She spotted him as soon as the E.R. doors opened, leaning casually against the wall behind him, his hair messy like he’d run his fingers through it repeatedly, his head down, and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey, you,” she said, her lips stretching into a smile as she walked over to him. Elijah looked up, and smiled immediately, a lazy smile, complete with a dimple, and his whole face lit up.

“Hi,” he greeted her.

“You okay?” she wondered as she stepped closer to him, and glanced around before reaching to rest her hands on his shoulders. Elijah tensed, surprised, but soon relaxed beneath her touch as she rubbed his shoulders lightly.

“Better now that you’re here,” he said softly as his dark brown eyes met hers, and she gazed into them.

“Want me to do you one better?” she quipped, smirking slightly. Elijah opened his mouth slightly in surprise, and Hayley took advantage of that to press her lips to his, slipping her tongue into his mouth as she did, and wrapped her hands around his neck.

Elijah rested his hands on her hips, then pushed her slightly away, breaking the kiss, and she pouted, “Hayley, wh- what are you doing?” he gasped against her lips as he stared at her, surprised.

“Oh, come on, Elijah, live a little,” she said, a little breathlessly. “We got four minutes, we should take advantage,” she added, smirking as she cupped his cheeks and brushed her nose against his lightly.

Elijah chuckled, and his lips stretched into a slow smile before he pulled her closer and crashed his lips against hers. She gasped, surprised, but then she kissed him back, pulling him closer to her, her hands winding around his neck, and slipped her tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. Elijah moaned lowly into her mouth, and his teeth grazed her lower lip, causing Hayley let out a moan that was muffled by his lips.

And then, Hayley heard the sirens as the ambulance roared up the road, and she pulled away, abruptly, and took a step back. “Looks like fun time’s over,” she quipped, and Elijah blushed adorably as he attempted to straighten himself while she quickly fixed her hair and straightened her shirt.

“Do I look okay?” she asked him breathlessly as the ambulance rushed towards them.

Elijah looked up, and inhaled sharply as his eyes roamed her body. “You look… uh, you look great,” he stammered, still blushing, and Hayley thought it was the most adorable thing.

“Thanks,” she muttered just as the ambulance stopped in front of them. “For the record, you look presentable,” she added just as the ambulance doors opened. “We’ll continue this later?”

“Certainly. It was a nice start to the morning,” he grinned. “What do we have?” he asked as soon as the already-familiar paramedic stepped out.

“Twenty-six-year-old Juliet Walters with a GSW to the thigh, but no exit wound. GCS of 12, she hit her head when she fell from the impact, and sprained her wrist,” she reported as they rolled Juliet from the ambulance.

“Hello, Juliet, I’m Dr. Mikaelson, and this is Dr. Marshall. You were shot, but we’re going to take care of you, alright?” Elijah said as he stepped up to her, checking her pupils. “Hayley, check her wound, will you?”

“Honestly, doc, this isn’t necessary. It doesn’t really hurt that much,” Juliet sighed. Hayley furrowed her eyebrows, and glanced over at Elijah, but he just shrugged. 

“Well, the bleeding’s slowed, but we need to find the bullet and get it out, and we need to get a CT to clear her spine,” she told him, the two of them slipping easily into an easy work dynamic. They rolled Juliet inside and took her to trauma bay 3, followed by nurses and two interns, “okay, let’s go, one, two, three!” she yelled. “Hook her up to an IV and monitors, give her a dose of morphine and get me the portable X-ray! And, get a full CBC!”

“Okay, Juliet, we’re giving you some morphine for the pain, you’re going to be fine,” Hayley told her as she took the X-rays before grabbing the film and putting it in front of the light.

Juliet groaned, but relaxed once the morphine was in. “Honestly, it’s not really necessary. I can’t really feel it. My idiot boyfriend decided to create a shooting range in our backyard. Everything was fine, and then I was playing with Romeo, our dog, and Luke was shooting at the range, and I guess the sound must have scared Romeo cause he ran off, and I moved to run after him, but then Luke turned, cause he got scared, too, and he kind of shot me, I guess?” she rambled. “It’s not that bad, honestly. It was just stupid, and I am so going to kill him for this,” she added, giving Hayley a look that said ‘men are stupid’. Hayley just snorted, amused.

“Yikes,” Hayley muttered for lack of better response as she looked at the films. “Elijah,” she said, a little worriedly. She felt him come to stand beside her, and his hand brushed lightly against hers.

“Where is the bullet?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. Hayley grabbed her glasses from her coat pocket, and looked at the films once again.

“That is a very good question, Elijah,” she said, her brow furrowed. “I don’t- I don’t see it anywhere,” she added, but Elijah stayed silent as he continued to stare at it.

“It must have,” he said slowly, and paused, licking his licks.

“Could it have- I mean, could it have travelled through her system?” she wondered.

“Yes, I mean that’s, uh, that’s possible,” he said slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We should- could you, uh, could you double check for an exit wound?” he requested, and she saw his shoulders were tense, but she nodded anyways and went back to the patient.

“Nope, no exit wound,” she said after checking it.

“Get her to a CT,” Elijah turned to face them.

“What- what’s going on?” Juliet asked anxiously.

“Well, Juliet, unfortunately there is no exit wound, and the bullet seems to no longer be in your thigh. We’d like to get some more imaging to figure out where it is, so we’re going to take you up for a CT, okay?” she informed the patient, flashing her a quick smile.

“Right, thanks. Honestly, I hardly feel any pain, I definitely don’t feel a bullet moving through my body,” Juliet told her.

“Either way, we need to know where it is to make sure it’s not disrupting any major organs, alright?” she said seriously, and the patient nodded.

“Okay, Juliet,” Elijah said, returning to them, “Dr. Marshall here is going to take you in for your CT, and once we locate your bullet, we’re going to make a plan on getting it out, alright?”

“Yeah… I just- okay,” she nodded, and Hayley nodded for the nurses to push her out before turning to Elijah.

“Well, our morning is off to a good start,” she half-smiled at him, and he snorted.

“Is this your idea of a good morning, Dr. Marshall?” he quipped, glancing over at her.

“Oh, yes. Morning kiss in the ambulance bay, mystery bullet… could it get any better?” she retorted, smirking, and Elijah chuckled, before patting her back her back lightly.

“Well, it will get better once we find that bullet and take it out both for us and the patient,” he remarked, chuckling slightly in amusement, his eyes crinkling. “And then, you and I can pick up where we left off in the ambulance bay,” he added.

“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed, flashing him a half-smile. “I’ll see you later?”

“Of course. Page me as soon as you have her CT,” he nodded, and the two of them left the trauma bay, Hayley racing to the CT.

* * *

Once the CT was done, it turned out Juliet’s bullet was in her heart, which Hayley couldn’t decide if it was tragic or ironic. And, Hayley was currently standing in a room with Juliet, Romeo who wasn’t actually Romeo, Elijah, and Celeste DuBois, the Head of Cardio.

“So, the bullet is in my heart?” Juliet asked, sounding slightly confused as Celeste showed her the scans.

“Yup,” Celeste nodded, and something about the way she kept glancing at Elijah every five seconds made Hayley’s stomach churn nervously. “For the record, that’s one of the safest places a bullet can be, and you’re asymptomatic which is great. But the problem is that the right ventricle is opening and closing, pumping blood every second, and that bullet is gonna bounce, Juliet, and when it does, it’s going to head straight for your pulmonary artery,” she informed her.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” the boyfriend declared regretfully, and Hayley wanted to smack her forehead. Juliet just squeezed his hand and flashed him a quick smile.

“It’s okay, babe, I’ll, uh, it’s fine, I’m not mad,” she told him while Hayley glanced at Elijah, who flashed her an amused look, then at Celeste who didn’t look particularly perturbed. “So, what happens then?”

“It’ll disrupt the blood flow to your lungs, we have to get in there before that happens,” Elijah informed her, “or you’ll die.”

The poor boyfriend looked even more aggrieved, and Hayley almost felt sorry for him, but then she remembered it was his idiocy who had put the poor woman in the hospital. “Oh, Jules,” he practically sobbed, and Juliet patted his back lightly.

“We’ll need to perform a sternotomy,” Celeste cut in, “open-heart surgery.”

“Nope, not happening!” Juliet exclaimed, perking up immediately. “That is not happening. My dad died from open-heart surgery,” she added, shaking her head repeatedly.

“Well, he probably died from complications with open-heart surgery, but I’m very good at what I do, so I won’t let that happen,” Celeste informed her, but Juliet just shook her head.

“No, please-” she started, practically shaking.

“Jules, baby, I’m so sorry this happened to you, but the doctor said-” her boyfriend cut in, but this time she cut him off.

“No, Luke! I’m not having open-heart surgery, no way, please!” she exclaimed, her eyes filling with tears. “Tell me there’s a plan B,” she added, pleadingly, turning to them. Celeste sighed heavily, but it was Elijah who stood up.

“Well, actually, Juliet there might be something to fix things for you,” he started. “We could use a modified angiogram wire and thread it through your femoral vein all the way to your heart,” he explained, demonstrating on himself. “We’d lasso the wire and grab the bullet.”

“Well,” Celeste looked skeptical, “the bullet is slippery, there is no guarantee we could catch it,” she crossed her arms and gave Elijah a pointed look.

“So, if rodeo fails, I die?”

“Nope, Dr. DuBois would just do her sternotomy,” Hayley piped up, and the patient just sighed.

“It is still highly risky,” Celeste started, flashing Elijah a pointed look.

“Well, every surgery is risky, Celeste,” Elijah shot back, giving her an equally-meaningful look. Hayley’s gaze just drifted between them, and she wondered if there was some weird history there. She hoped Celeste wasn’t married to a Mikaelson, or something because the woman gave her chills, and not the good kind.

Juliet sighed, and seemed to think this for moment, and she and her boyfriend were involved in a staring contest for a few moments before she finally looked up.

“Alright,” Juliet said carefully, “rodeo it is.” Elijah nodded, while Celeste pursed her lips.

“Juliet, would you excuse us for a moment?” Celeste requested before strutting out of the room, and Elijah groaned and followed after her. Hayley gave both the patient and her boyfriend a quick smile, and followed after Elijah and Celeste.

“Are you out of your mind, Elijah?” Celeste practically shouted as soon as they were out of earshot.

“No, Celeste,” Elijah rolled his eyes. “My patient asked for a plan B, and I gave her one. If she doesn’t want a sternotomy, she doesn’t have to have her,” he told her, his tone slightly exasperated. Hayley just sighed heavily, and crossed her arms, still holding the tablet.

“A foolish one. You don’t know this for certain!” Celeste snapped, crossing her arms.

“It’s not foolish, it’s been done before,” he retorted, rolling his eyes once again. “Look, Celeste, I understand you’re concerned, but you don’t have to be. I’ve actually done this procedure before, I can do this-” he argued, but she cut him off.

“Can you, really?” she asked, regarding him skeptically. “Look, Elijah, I don’t think now’s the time for you to take risks-” she started, and despite the fact that she was trying to sound concerned, she just sounded condescending.

“Thank you for your concern, Celeste, but I assure you I am perfectly capable of performing this procedure,” he remarked drily. “Besides, you’ll be there to clean up, if I do mess up,” he added, rolling his eyes.

“Just like always, right, ‘Lijah?” Celeste retorted, and Elijah flinched. “Fine, do your thing. I’ll be there to clean up your mess,” she added, rolling her eyes. Then, she strutted off, and Elijah turned to her, a tense expression on his face.

“Hayley, it’s not- it’s not what it looks like,” he started nervously, but she shook her head.

“Elijah, we have to get a bullet out of a woman’s right ventricle. We’ll talk about this later, okay? I’ll go prep Juliet,” she said, not letting him start. He just sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I’ll see you in there.” And then, he walked off while Hayley returned to Juliet and her Romeo.

* * *

“So, how long have you two been together?” Hayley asked as she checked Juliet’s vitals while Elijah and Celeste scrubbed.

“A while now, I guess. We’ve known each other for longer, though, since college. We were dating each other’s good friends, but then one night we were at this wedding- not our friends’ wedding or something. We both went, but not together, but we weren’t with anyone and my friend had just broken up with Luke and he was really upset, so I wanted to make him feel better except we got drunk and slept together. Things were weird and awkward for a while, but then he asked me out. And, we’ve sort of been together ever since. Anyways, a few years ago we went on a tour of Europe, backpacking of course, which was really awesome and when we got back we moved in to this small-ish house that used to belong to Luke’s parents, but they gave it to him,” Juliet explained, rambling nervously.

“Well, that’s nice,” Hayley said in an attempt to make her more relax. “But, you don’t sound so sure,” she added, curiosity getting the best of her, and the fact that focusing on Romeo and Juliet was better than thinking about Elijah and Celeste’s confrontation in the hall.

“Yeah, it’s just- I love him, I really do, and he loves me,” she started, and bit her lip.

“But?” Hayley supplied gently.

“But, we- I mean, I just feel like I don’t really know him that well. I feel like everything happened so fast, and we never got to talk about our likes and dislikes and hobbies and whatever, y’know?” Hayley nodded. “And, I know it’s all, learn about each other during your relationship, but there’s so many- he likes doing these things like archery, paintballing, shooting in our backyard ‘cause he doesn’t want to go to an actual range… and, it’s just a little too much, and I don’t know…” she trailed off, nervously, and bit her lip again, “I guess we should have talked about all this before, or when we started dating. Definitely before we moved in together,” she said, chuckling.

“I get that,” Hayley said, nodding in understanding, “you never really know who you get in bed with, so it’s good to get it all out in the open, right?”

“Yeah… Do you have a boyfriend, Dr. Marshall?”

Hayley glanced over at Elijah who seemed to be done scrubbing, “um, it’s early days, you know? So, not exactly labeling anything,” she told the young woman. Juliet smiled.

“It’s Dr. Mikaelson, isn’t it?” Hayley opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn’t sure what, and Juliet just grinned and continued, “I saw the way you keep looking at him when he’s not looking, and his eyes never leave you every time you look away. You make a cute couple,” she told her, her eyes shining slightly, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Thanks, Juliet. Okay, now I gotta go scrub, and I’ll see you soon, okay? Dr. Mikaelson is very good, and I’m not saying that because I’m biased, so you’re in good hands. I’ll see you after, okay?” she said softly, rubbing Juliet’s shoulder lightly. “And, when you wake up, you and Romeo there can talk about everything you need,” she added with a smile. Juliet nodded.

“Do me a favor, doc?”

“Sure.”

“Do the same with Dr. Mikaelson, kay?”

Hayley nodded, and the anesthesiologist injected her with the sedation.

“Count backwards for me,” he requested, as Juliet relaxed.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…” she trailed off as she fell asleep. Hayley turned and went to the scrub room while Elijah and Celeste stepped into the O.R. before she joined them a few minutes later.

* * *

With an irritated scoff, Celeste practically stormed out of the O.R. as soon as Elijah was done, and the nurses and orderlies rolled Juliet out, followed by the anesthesiologist. And then, it was just Elijah and Hayley in the scrub room, and Hayley sighed as she leaned against the sink, the atmosphere suddenly awkward and tense, and Hayley did not like that one bit.

“Well,” she said slowly with a heavy sigh, “that was… intense,” she finished. [Elijah had almost gotten the bullet when it slipped, and was heading right for the pulmonary artery, and Celeste was ready to open her up. But, thankfully, he managed to get it after snapping at Celeste to ‘shut up’. Hayley had to admit it was weirdly satisfying, though it did give her a weird feeling, and she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened between Celeste and Elijah]. “You,” she paused, “you were amazing, Elijah. That was, uh, that was… wow…”

“It was luck,” he snapped, and when she finally looked up, she noticed how tense he looked, hands crossed over his chest, back rigid, expression tense. She averted her gaze, wincing a little. Elijah sighed, and his shoulders slumped in defeat, his expression softening, “Hayley, I apologize, I shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t have snapped at you, that was very rude. I suppose yes, it was quite extraordinary,” he said apologetically.

“It’s fine,” she sighed, and looked back up, though she didn’t quite look at him. “Very humble of you, though, Dr. Mikaelson,” she added, her lips curving into a small smirk. Elijah scoffed, rolling his eyes, and leaned back against the cabinet behind him, crossing his arms, his head down. Silence descended once again between them, though it wasn’t comfortable like before, and Hayley couldn’t stop thinking about Juliet’s words before she went under. “What are we- what are we doing here, Elijah?”

Elijah looked up, and met her gaze, confusion clear in his expression, “what do you mean?”

“Just- I- what are we doing, Elijah?” she repeated, and bit her lip. “I mean, we, uh, we kissed, which was amazing, and obviously there are feelings… pretty deep feelings between us, but…” she trailed off, and sighed, averting her gaze and removing her scrub cap.

Elijah sighed, too, and stepped closer to her, and Hayley became still, “Hayley, look at me,” he said softly, and she shivered as he stepped closer before finally looking up to meet his gaze. “I… you know how I feel for you,” he began, licking his lip, “this isn’t just some fling, Hayley, but I- I still don’t understand what you mean by ‘what are we doing here’...” he trailed off, confused.

“I- I have strong feelings about you, too,” she paused, and itched to rest her hands on his shoulders, or cup his cheeks, but she did neither. Instead, her gaze flickered to his lips, and she was pretty sure so did his, and Gods, she wanted to kiss him, but she knew that kissing would not lead to more talking. “But, I can’t- look, Elijah, I need to know what it is that we’re doing here because I-” she cut herself off.

“Hayley,” Elijah said slowly, and she could sense he wanted to touch her, too, but he remained still, “whatever it is… you have to tell me,” he told her firmly, but gently.

She took a deep breath, “I can’t go back,” she finally said, and Elijah furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but she kept going. “I- we kissed and there are feelings between us, but we haven’t talked about what we want from this… whatever it is between us. But, I know what I want…” she paused, though she continued to look at him, and it felt like she was melting beneath his gaze, and her heartbeat quickened. “I live in the now. If I feel something, I act. If I want something, I take it, and I want something real… and I- I want it with you,” she finally said, and pursed her lips as silence settled between them once again.

Finally, Elijah sighed heavily, “Hayley, I…” he trailed off, speechless, and Hayley hoped he would say something, anything, but he said nothing for the next few seconds, and she wasn’t going to wait around for an explanation, or some indication of what Elijah wanted forever.

“Right,” she muttered, and stood up straight before turning on her heel to walk out of the scrub room with at least some of her dignity still intact. But, Elijah caught her arm, and he spun her around so she was mere inches away from him. As if on instinct, her gaze flickered to his lips, and so did his, and their noses brushed against each other, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat, and if she tilted her head just slightly, she could kiss him. But, she couldn’t do that because kissing Elijah would lead down a very slippery slope that would just hurt the both of them. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, “I can’t.” And then, she pulled her arm out of his grip, turned around, and walked out of the scrub room, needing to get as far away from Elijah as she could.

And then, she managed to almost bump into something. No, not something. Someone.

“Careful there, love,” a woman said in a British accent, and Hayley looked up to find a gorgeous blonde woman standing in front of her, wearing a simple black pantsuit with a lacy top and black 6” heels, her light blonde hair cascading in soft waves down her shoulders, and her makeup was simple, yet glamorous. She carried a large, black tote bag with papers sticking out of it, and another stack of papers in her hand.

“Oh!” Hayley exclaimed, and managed not to fall down on her butt and make a complete fool of herself. “I am so sorry,” she rushed out apologetically.

“No, that’s… that’s fine. I’m fine,” the British Barbie quipped, smiling slightly in amusement. “I’m Rebekah. Rebekah Mikaelson. Pleasure to meet you. And, you are?” she said, and extended her hand for Hayley to shake, but Hayley could just nod. [So, this was Rebekah Mikaelson, the other Mikaelson sister, the one who was a lawyer].

“I’m… I’m Hayley Marshall,” she stammered nervously, and shook Rebekah’s hand. Rebekah nodded, her eyes shining with understanding.

“Hayley. As in Hayley the girl my brother Nik knocked up in med school? The one who showed up here in New Orleans with her kid, well, yours and Nik’s?” Rebekah asked, looking at her carefully.

“Yup, that’s me,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Honestly, I didn’t- I didn’t know Klaus was gonna be here when I chose to come to New Orleans. I just came cause I have friends here, y’know? And, now there is all this family drama in this hospital, and I…” she trailed off, and shrugged. Rebekah chuckled.

“Ah, yes, well, there is no shortage of family drama around here. But, I hope that doesn’t scare you off,” Rebekah quipped.

Hayley sighed, and bit her lip, “I just try not to get involved,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s not like… Klaus and I aren’t together, God no, so honestly I have no reason to get invested in family drama,” she rambled, slightly nervous.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not interested in my brother. Don’t think that would go well with his current girlfriend,” she joked, and Hayley chuckled.

“I like her, by the way. Cami? Yeah, she’s, uh, she’s kinda awesome,” she said, her lips curling into a smile.

“She is. Camille is the best thing to have happened to Nik. But, anyways, not here to talk about those two. I’ve been meaning to try and find you, so lucky me,” Rebekah paused, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Well, ever since I found out about you and my little niece, I’ve been meaning to-” she stopped again, and bit her lip, “I’ve been meaning to ask if I could meet her because, well, we are family after all,” she finally said, and Hayley’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Um, well, I don’t- I don’t know about that. I haven’t exactly told her about this whole family thing, it would be very confusing to her,” she said nervously, her teeth grazing her lip.

“Right. Of course, I’m sorry,” Rebekah said slowly, her smile not quite so wide, her expression slightly disappointed.

“Look, I do want to tell her, but considering her dad doesn’t exactly want to welcome her with open arms, I’m not jumping to tell her either. I don’t want to turn my little girl’s world upside down. I just- I just need a little more time, okay? But, it was nice meeting you, Rebekah,” Hayley said in a softer tone, and reached to rub Rebekah’s shoulder gently.

“Oh. Of course, yeah. Heard about the whole Klaus thing. For the record, I think he _is_ being a dick,” Rebekah observed, and paused while Hayley chewed on her lip. Finally, Rebekah broke the silence, “but, Hope is part of our family. And, so are you. Take your time, you don’t have to tell her right now. But, just- don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Hayley nodded, “yeah, thanks. That’s nice of you,” she smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Rebekah,” she added, flashing the blonde another small smile.

“Likewise, Hayley. And, call me Bekah. Most people who aren’t my clients do,” Rebekah told her, her lips curving into a half-smile.

“Guess I’ll see you around,” she said, then turned to go.

“Actually,” Rebekah’s voice made Hayley stop, “I’m hosting a girls’ night at my place on Friday. Marcel’s gonna be off studying for his boards, so I get the whole place to myself, and I invited Cami and Freya over. We could always use some more company,” she smiled at Hayley, and Hayley’s eyes widened as it occurred to her that _Rebekah_ was the Mikaelson sister Marcel was dating. _Damn, Marcel,_ she thought, slightly amused.

Hayley smiled, “well, I’d love to, but, uh, I’m supposed to pick Hope up from my friends’… she’s staying with them while I’m at work cause I don’t have a nanny for her yet,” she explained. Rebekah face fell, and Hayley immediately felt bad. “Tell you what? If I manage to get off and they still want to babysit her, I’ll come join,” she said, flashing Rebekah a smile.

“Oh, that would be lovely! Here, let me give you my phone number!” Rebekah exclaimed, suddenly cheerful, and they exchanged numbers quickly. “Just give me a call, alright? Hopefully, I’ll see you Friday,” she added, smiling widely. Hayley nodded, flashing her a quick smile.

“Will do. Thanks, Rebekah, it was nice meeting you,” she said, smiling at the other woman, and Rebekah nodded. They waved each other ‘goodbye’, and Hayley turned and walked back to the E.R.

* * *

“You look lost in thought.” Elijah looked up to find Camille standing in front of him, and he relaxed, and patted the spot beside him on the bench.

“Hello, Camille,” he said by way of greeting, and Cami sat down beside him, and pulled out a sandwich.

“Hey,” she smiled softly at him before taking a bite out of her sandwich, and he pulled out his own lunch. “So, what _are_ you thinking about?”

He shrugged, and took a bite, before looking out ahead once again, “my patient’s father refuses to let me perform surgery that could save her life,” he finally said with a heavy sigh, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh. And, what does your patient want?” Cami leaned forward slightly.

“Well, when her father’s in the room she doesn’t say much. I managed to get her alone for a few minutes, and all I got was that she doesn’t want to be in pain anymore, and she doesn’t seem to like living by her father’s rules, but what the hell do I know?” Cami gave him a pointed look.

“Sounds fun. I could talk to her, you know? Daddy issues are kind of my specialty,” she quipped, amused, and Elijah couldn’t help but snort.

“If you don’t mind. I managed to keep her here a little longer, but she won’t be here for long, so take your shot,” he informed her, smirking slightly, and Cami nodded.

“Okay, will do. But,” she drawled, “I don’t think your patient is the reason you’re out here pretend-eating that sandwich.”

“I’m fine,” he sighed, but Cami didn’t look impressed.

“So, what happened? Is it family drama?” she wondered, but he just shook his head. “Is it- is it Hayley? I know there’s a thing with you two,” she said, and when he didn’t say anything, Cami’s eyes widened. “So, it is Hayley! Well, what happened? She hasn’t said anything to me, but I haven’t really seen her lately,” she said, and he noticed a strangely-excited glint in her eyes. When he said nothing, Cami scoffed.

Elijah took a deep breath, bracing himself, “she kissed me,” he finally said, and Cami’s eyes widened, and she let out a small shriek. He chuckled, amused, and gave her a look.

“Damn! Way to go!” she exclaimed, smiling in delight. When he didn’t say anything, she glanced over at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Wait,” she said slowly, “what happened? Elijah? I would think you’d be thrilled, and so would she. What happened between you two?”

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair again, then grabbed onto the ball chain around his neck, rubbing it nervously between his fingers, “last night, I, uh, I had a patient. Incoming trauma. Car crash, mom and her daughter got hit by a drunk driver, driver slammed into the side of the car, the side the daughter was in. She was eight. Her name was Lily,” his voice trembled as the memories from the night before returned, and he squeezed his eyes shut briefly, willing them away.

“Oh, Elijah,” Cami sighed sadly, and reached to rest her hand on his knee. “I’m- what happened?”

“She didn’t make it…” he trailed off, sounding choked, and he felt a tear threaten to fall, but he wiped it away before Cami could notice. “She just- she lost so much blood, and then she arrested, and we- I- tried everything, but she didn’t make it…” he trailed off, his voice still shaking.

Cami moved closer to him, “I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she said sadly, rubbing his back gently.

“Yeah…” he sighed. “Anyways, I went up to the roof, and Hayley showed up minutes later,” he paused, and inhaled slowly, “I- I don’t know why, but I- I told her everything, Camille. EVERYTHING. I- I didn’t hold back, for the first time ever, I told another person everything – Katherine, Jonathan, my alcoholism, and I- I didn’t hold back. I’ve never- after Katherine, I never got close to anyone again. And then, Hayley Marshall walks in, and I- I care about her, Camille. I feel… unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and I just- I told her everything,” he confessed with a heavy sigh.

“Is that when she kissed you?”

He couldn’t help but smile slightly, and he felt his cheeks flushed, “yeah. That’s when she kissed me. Maybe it was out of comfort, or pity, or because she wanted to, I don’t know… And, I could have thought it was a one-time thing, but then, she kissed me this morning. And then, earlier she asked me what do I want this to mean. She told me she wants this in a really sweet and adorable way… that she wants something real with me, but I- I just couldn’t quite get the words out, and now… I guess the ball is in my court,” he finally said, glancing over at Cami. “And, I don’t- I don’t know what to…” he shook his head sadly.

Cami smiled sympathetically at him, “what do you want to do, though? You like her, you have feelings for her, so do you want to date her?”

He shrugged, “I don’t- maybe, but I- Camille, you know I have issues, that I’m not perfect, and I just- I don’t want to ruin it. I care about her, and if I- if it becomes more, I’m just going to ruin it. Or, she won’t be able to deal with all my shit, and it’ll all go to hell, and I just- I can’t go through that, Camille, and I can’t put her through it either,” he admitted, stumbling over his words.

“Elijah, look, I know this isn’t easy, but really this isn’t much of an excuse,” Cami finally said, causing him to look up. “You like her, and she likes you, so really Elijah, you’re just being your own worst enemy,” she informed him, smirking slightly.

“Excuse me?”

“All of your excuses? They’re not valid because you don’t know what Hayley actually thinks about this. You only think she’ll hate you for having baggage, but you don’t know that. So, my advice is to ask her,” she said simply. He pursed his lips. “Look, do you want to date her?”

“Of course I do,” he sighed. “But, I-” he protested, but Cami cut him off.

“So, tell her that, then tell her what’s holding you back. Simple as that,” she shrugged.

“Is it really? That simple?” he wondered, and his lips curled into a smile once more.

“It can be, if you want it to,” Cami retorted, smirking slightly, amused. Elijah rolled his eyes. Before either of them could continue, Cami’s pager went off. “Okay, I’ve got a consult. But, you go tell your girl how you really feel,” she told him as she stood up.

“She’s not my girl,” he protested, though a tiny part of him wanted her to be.

Cami turned, still smirking, “not yet,” she quipped, then she left.

Elijah sighed heavily, and sat there, wondering if it really was as simple as Cami made it out to be. And, if it was, what was he doing sitting out there? Why wasn’t he talking to Hayley? [It was Hayley. _Hayley_. Hayley, who he’d told everything to. Hayley, who held him as he cried over Jonathan, and held his hand, and kissed him. Hayley, who told him she wanted to be with him. Hayley, who he let walk away from him. Hayley, the best thing that happened to him, and who he needed more than anything].

* * *

He found her in the gallery of O.R. 4, though she was the only one there. Hayley stood up when he entered, her face lighting up, and Elijah’s heart skipped a beat because Hayley was just happy to see him, and Elijah couldn’t believe how lucky he was. [He’d opened up to her, and she’d been there, the entire time, holding his hand, comforting him, and she hadn’t run. No, she’d kissed him, and had kissed him again that morning, and it was the best feeling in the world].

“Hey,” he said softly, his lips stretching into an easy smile.

“Hey, you,” she said by way of greeting, and despite her smile, he could also see that she was tired.

He couldn’t help himself, and in two long steps he was in front of her, and he cupped the back of her neck with his hand, and Hayley gasped, her eyes widening, but he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her. Despite her initial surprise, she relaxed quickly and melted in his arms, wrapping her own arms around him as she deepened the kiss. He licked her lower lip, and she moaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before Elijah pulled away, reluctantly, and let out a deep breath as his nose rubbed against hers.

Then, he cupped her cheeks, rubbing his thumbs along her jaw, “I can’t go back either,” he said breathlessly, and Hayley’s lips curled into a smug smirk.

“Good,” she whispered against his lips.

“But, I do need to say something,” he said, and his hands dropped from her cheeks and he took her hands within his, and led her to the chairs behind him.

“Okay,” she nodded as she sat down, and angled her body towards his. “What’s up?”

He took a deep breath, “I- I let you in. I don’t let people in,” he began slowly, his voice shaking, “and I cannot go back from that to how things were before. Because I have feelings for you, Hayley, and I- maybe I feel too much and I barely know you, but I can’t help myself. I care about you, and I want more than just stolen kisses and glances in the hallways. I want- I want a relationship...” he paused, and sighed, and he heard Hayley’s breath hitch in her throat. “And, that scares me more than anything... Hayley, I- we need to take things slow, like glacially slow...” he took a deep breath, “sometimes I might need a moment, sometimes I might be scared... I cannot promise I won’t feel like running, and I- please understand that I might need time sometimes, and I don’t want to hurt you, so if this is a deal breaker for you, please tell me,” he finished, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, but he wasn’t going to cry, not now. Hayley nodded, and squeezed his hands, and then she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. He kissed her back, then she pulled away.

“Oh, Elijah,” she said slowly, “I- it’s not a deal breaker to me, I promise. It’s okay, if you want to take things slow, I’m okay with that,” she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, and he let out a breath he’d been holding, his shoulders slumping in relief. And then, she let go of his hands and cupped his cheeks, and he leaned into her touch. Their lips met halfway, the kiss more heated this time, teeth clashing, tongues tangling together, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her closer.


	10. I Can't Breathe Without You But I Have To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah and Hayley spend some time together, then Hayley and Elijah run into each other while Hayley is with Hope. And, Hayley goes to girls' night while Klaus drops by Elijah's.

After pulling away, they lingered in each other’s embrace for a few more seconds, foreheads resting against each other, and Elijah’s lips brushed gently against hers, his scruff scratching her chin lightly, and Hayley melted in his arms, and pulled him even closer to her if possible. Elijah pulled away slowly, though he kept his grip on her, and she cupped his cheeks once more, rubbing his cheek gently with her thumb.

“Okay,” she murmured breathlessly against his lips, and Elijah looked up and met her gaze. “Okay, we’ll take things slow… slow is good,” she reassured him, her voice soft, a small smirk tugging at her lips.

Elijah nodded, his lips stretching into a slow smile, “thank you,” he mumbled softly, and lifted his hand to tuck a stray curl behind her ear and cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his touch as he brushed his thumb against her cheek. But, before either of them could do or say anything, Hayley’s phone pinged, and she pulled away from Elijah, reaching for her phone. 

“Sorry, let me just get this,” she said a little breathlessly as she fumbled with her phone before finally unlocking it to find it was a text from Aiden, and as her eyes scanned over it, she let out a breath she’d been holding, and her shoulders slumped in relief.

“Everything okay?” Elijah wondered, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, sighing, “it was just Aiden. My friend. He and his boyfriend babysit Hope whenever she’s not at school and I’m on shift. He just texted to tell me that they had pizza and Hope is currently watching The Lion King. So, I guess I’ll just grab something to eat before I go pick her up. She’ll probably be asleep by then, and I’ll just take her home,” she told him, and stood up, groaning as she stretched. “Anyways, I better go,” she said, smiling softly at him as he stood up, too, and they walked out of the gallery together, but Elijah stopped her just before they parted, grabbing onto her wrist. “I guess I’ll see you next shift?” she checked, looking into his eyes.

“Yes, I’ll see you then,” he smiled, and then he tilted his head slightly and brushed his lips against her forehead and Hayley felt her stomach flutter and a shiver ran down her spine as she relaxed beneath his touch.

“Yup, I’ll see you,” she nodded as he pulled away before she finally turned around and walked back to the residents’ lounge.

After quickly changing and grabbing her things, she made her way to the parking lot, ready to eat, pick up her daughter and crash into bed.

“Do you have plans to eat?”

Hayley turned around at the sound of Elijah’s voice, and smiled upon seeing him standing across from her, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a blazer on top of it, his bag slung over his shoulder.

“Are you stalking me Dr. Mikaelson?” she quipped, smirking slightly. Elijah chuckled, shrugged.

“No, actually… I was going to ask if you wanted to grab dinner together, though,” he said, breaking into a smile, and Hayley’s eyes widened in surprise.

She stepped closer to him, her gaze flickering from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes, “Elijah, are you asking me out?” she asked, looking at him carefully. _After all, he did say he wanted to take things slow, but now he wanted to go out for dinner?_

Elijah took a deep breath, and exhaled, “not exactly,” he chuckled, and paused, licked his lips, “just grab dinner before you go to pick up Hope.”

“Oh…” she trailed off, slightly confused, and maybe a little disappointed but she didn’t act it.

Elijah reached and cupped her cheek, and her breath hitched in her throat as he stepped closer, “Hayley, if I were to ask you out on a date, I’d ask you out in advance, pick you up from your place, wear a suit and bring you flowers,” he informed her, and she felt herself flush as he caressed her jaw lightly.

“The whole nine yards, huh?” she muttered, her nose almost brushing against his, their lips mere inches from each other.

Elijah’s lips curved into a slow smile, “of course. You’re worth it,” he said softly. “But, that will be later when both of us have time. For now, how about we go to this place I know, have a quick dinner, and you go pick up your daughter after?” he suggested.

“Sounds good,” she grinned. “I’ll be behind you?”

“Alright. See you soon,” he nodded, and brushed his lips against hers lightly before pulling away and walking towards a black Porche, and Hayley couldn’t help but think that Elijah Mikaelson looked hot as hell walking away. With a sigh, she got into her own car, and followed Elijah out of the parking lot.

* * *

Elijah finally stopped in the parking lot of a diner-type place, and Hayley parked in the spot right next to him and turned the engine off.

“What a gentleman,” she snorted when he opened her door, and held his hand out for her. She pursed her lips, but took his hand anyway, and laced her fingers with his, the two of them walking towards the simple-looking building. The sign above the door read _Lou’s Diner_ , and the place seemed to have an old, Italian vibe to it, with checkered tablecloths and simple metal furniture.

“C’mon,” he said softly, leading her to a small table in the back, and he pulled the chair for her, and Hayley just smiled despite the fact that she thought it was a little ridiculous for him to do this when they were just grabbing food at a diner that wasn’t very far from the hospital.

“Hey, there, Elijah. It’s nice to see you,” the waitress said when she came to their table. Hayley raised an eyebrow in Elijah’s direction, but kept her mouth shut.

“Hey, Steph. Yeah, it’s been a while I guess, but we just got off from a long shift, so thought we might grab dinner,” he said kindly, and the waitress, Steph, nodded.

“Of course. Know what you’re having?” she asked as Hayley scanned the menu quickly.

“Yeah, I’ll have the vegetarian burger and a water please,” Elijah requested. “Hayley?”

“Um, coke for me and just a plain cheeseburger,” she said, flashing the waitress a small smile.

“Sure, thing,” the waitress said, and grabbed their menus before turning around and strutting off. Hayley looked back at Elijah once she was gone, and rested her hand on the table. Elijah rested his own hand on the table, their fingers mere inches from each other, and Hayley moved her own hand closer to his, brushing her fingers lightly against his. He smiled, and relaxed beneath her touch, so she moved her hand even closer, resting it on top of his, rubbing his knuckles gently. 

“So, I never really pegged you for a diner sort of guy. Especially after seeing your car,” she started, a little nervously because even though Elijah had said this wasn’t a date, it still felt oddly intimate, and they’d hadn’t spent time together outside the hospital before.

Elijah chuckled, “I don’t know that I am. I’ve just been coming here ever since I moved to New Orleans, which admittedly wasn’t that long ago. It’s just easier to go to diners by myself I guess… it’s not like I’d go to a fast food, I do care about my arteries, you know,” he said, and Hayley snorted, rolling her eyes. _Of course, Elijah Mikaelson would be a health nut, why was she even surprised?_ “It’s easier not to drink here, too, since they don’t serve alcohol, so that’s part of it,” he added, a little shyly, but she squeezed his hand.

“Got it,” she said with a small smile. “It’s nice, I guess… a little quaint, but nice,” she added, looking around the place. Their drinks arrived, and Hayley took a sip of her coke, suddenly realizing how thirsty she’d been.

“Yeah, it’s nice. I’m not really one for going out, though, so I don’t mind. I usually cook at home or order takeout,” he added with a shrug. She just nodded.

“So, guess who I met today?” she asked, steering the subject slightly.

“Who?”

“Your sister, Rebekah,” she told him, slightly amused. “And, despite looking like a real-life Barbie, she was really nice. She asked about Hope, and she asked me to join her, Cami and Freya for a girls’ night. Which is not intimidating at all…” she trailed off with a chuckle, and Elijah chuckled, too.

“Do I need to speak to my sisters to make sure you’re in one piece by the end of the night?” he asked her sarcastically, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure I’ll manage, Elijah, but thank you,” she told him, and added, “I’ll let you know if I need rescuing.” Elijah laughed, and Hayley soon joined in, both of them relaxing.

“And, what did she ask about Hope?” he wondered once they’d both calmed down just as the food arrived.

“Just that she wanted to meet her, but I told her that I haven’t told Hope anything yet, so…” she trailed off.

“Bon appetite,” Elijah said softly, pulling his hand out of her grip as they prepared to dig in.

“Thanks, you too,” she said, flashing him another smiling. “Anyways, yeah, I haven’t told Hope anything, which is mainly because of Klaus. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Hey, sweetie, yeah, you have a whole gaggle of aunts and uncles, and even a potential future stepmother. But, don't ask too much about your dad,” she remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “I just- I don’t want to turn her whole world upside down,” she added more sincerely. Elijah nodded in understanding.

“That’s understandable, Hayley. And, Niklaus hasn’t budged on the issue?”

“Nope, not at all. Not that I’ve brought it up really, but he hasn’t said anything about her, either. So, we’re just sort of in limbo,” she shrugged as she took a bite of her burger. Elijah nodded, and they fell into silence as they continued to eat.

Elijah cleared his throat, “so, uh, would you- will you tell her about us, then?” he finally asked, causing Hayley to look up from her plate, a little surprised.

“I guess?” It sounded more like a question, so she continued, “I mean, I think so. I don’t really keep things from her because if I trust her, then she’ll trust me, so… yeah, I’ll tell her,” she told him, and even though his expression didn’t change, she noticed a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“And, maybe I’ll tell her about everyone else, I don’t know. I have to be careful, you know? She’s just a kid,” she added, shrugging.

“Of course,” he nodded, “you don’t want to overwhelm her.”

Silence settled between them once more as they continued to eat, though it was comfortable now, and not as awkward.

“You know, you’ll have lots of babysitters available once my siblings meet Hope, so there is that,” Elijah said after a while, and she chuckled.

“Lucky me,” she retorted. “Damn, this burger is actually really nice. Thanks for inviting me, I haven’t really gone out to eat since Hope and I got here,” she said, changing the subject once more.

“Well, it’s not Michelin five-stars, but it is nice. I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” he flashed her another smile.

“You’re a vegetarian?” she asked curiously.

“Kind of?” he replied, though it sounded more like a question. “I just don’t really eat meat, and I’ve kind of gotten used to it, so you could say that,” he explained casually before taking a long sip of his water.

“Well, that’s good to know,” she mused.

“Is it?”

“Well, if you must know, it is in case I have you over for dinner,” she told him, smirking slightly, and Elijah nodded.

“Right,” he sighed. “Well, then, it is good to know. Would you like to try this?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Honestly, this was more than what I would’ve had for dinner tonight,” she told him, but he broke off a piece of his veggie burger and leaned over, holding it towards her.

“Please, I insist,” he told her, and Hayley’s eyes flickered nervously from Elijah to the piece of burger. “Come on, don’t be shy,” he added, amused, “it won’t hurt you.”

Hayley sighed in defeat, and opened her mouth, bracing herself, but as soon as she took a bite, she couldn’t help but moan, and licked her lips as she chewed while Elijah looked at her, a triumphant look on his face.

“Good, isn’t it?” he asked, smirking smugly while she licked her lips, still moaning.

“Hell yeah,” she said as soon as she’d swallowed, “that was delicious.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said. He’d mostly finished his food except for the piece he’d offered her, and her gaze flickered from his face to his plate a few times before he took mercy on her and handed her the rest of the piece. Hayley finished it gladly, and the waitress returned to take their plates and glasses away.

“Thank you,” Hayley said, smiling softly.

“You two wanna stay for desert?” Steph asked them, and they exchanged a look, but it was obvious that Elijah was leaving it up to her.

“Sorry, but I have to go get Hope, it’s been too long,” she said apologetically.

“Of course, it’s no problem. We can try the desert another time, okay? Or, we’ll just go have desert somewhere else,” he said quickly, completely unbothered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. Besides, I don’t really have a sweet tooth anyways,” he told her casually, and she rolled her eyes because that wasn't surprising either.

“Okay, thanks. Let’s just pay and go, thanks again,” she agreed, flashing him a small smile.

They paid separately, despite the fact that Elijah wanted to pay for both of them, but once she told him that she could pay for her own burger, he let her, and then, he took her hand once more and led her out of the diner and to their cars.

“So, I guess now we do part ways,” she said as she unlocked her car. Elijah stepped closer to her and cupped her cheek lightly, and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

“It seems to be that way, yes,” he agreed as he caressed her cheek lightly. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Well, thank you for taking me, it was really nice,” she told him, smiling softly at him.

“Thank _you_ for the company,” he said and paused, “it was nice, too… having company, I mean. I don’t usually…” he trailed off nervously, and cleared his throat. “Thank you,” he said more firmly.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you at work then,” she said, and he nodded, smiling.

“Goodnight, Hayley, get home safe,” he said. And then, he brushed his lips lightly against hers, and Hayley’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into his touch and deepened the kiss, her tongue tangling with his while she rested her hands on his chest. It was a lingering, gentle sort of kiss, and Elijah pulled away before it grew more heated, though Hayley would have liked it to continue. But then, maybe the parking lot of a diner wasn’t the best place for that.

“Goodnight, Elijah,” she muttered, and tilted her head to brush her lips against his cheek, his scruff scratching her lips, pressing a soft kiss against it. And then, she pulled away and got into her car.

* * *

“Mommy,” Hope said as the two of them walked through the French Quarter. [Friday turned out to be a sunny day, so Hayley was spending it with Hope in exchange for Hope going over to Aiden and Josh’s. Not, that it took much convincing when Hayley let it slip she was going out since Hope seemed to think Hayley didn't have a life outside of the hospital and herself of course, so she was more than happy that Hayley was going out. 

“Yeah, baby?” she asked, bending slightly to be closer to Hope.

“Can we get desert?” Hope asked in a pleading voice, pouting slightly and giving Hayley the puppy eyes. “Please, mommy, pretty please with cherry on the top?” she all but begged, and Hayley sighed, defeated.

“Fine,” she shook her head, “we can get desert,” she told her. “There’s a café nearby, we can have desert there, kay?”

“Yay!” Hope cheered, beaming, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re the best, mom!” she exclaimed, and wrapped her arms around Hayley’s middle, and Hayley yelped in surprise before wrapping her own arms around Hope, pulling her to her. “Thank you, mommy!” Hope added, burying her head against her, and squeezed her tightly.

Hayley smiled fondly, and pressed a kiss to the top of Hope’s head, “well, don’t thank me until we actually try the deserts, kay?” she quipped, amused, then pulled away, and took her daughter’s hand. “C’mon, shall we?”

She took Hope’s hand in hers and together they walked towards the antique-looking café. The café wasn’t too crowded, and Hayley scanned it for a table for two where she left her jacket to save the spot, and led Hope to the counter.

“What are you getting, mommy?” Hope asked as her curious eyes drifted around the place, scanning all the deserts in the display.

Hayley chuckled, amused, “well, I for one am getting a coffee,” she replied, smirking slightly.

“Yeah, but you can get coffee anywhere,” Hope retorted, rolling her eyes, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort. “But, what about desert?”

“I know. Well, I think I’ll just have the lemon tart,” she said. “What about you, sweetie?”

“Um, I don’t know,” Hope said, still staring at the display. “Can I have a look around?” she asked, giving Hayley the puppy look yet again.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “you don’t have to do that, Hope. Just go take a look around, but don’t take too long, okay?”

“Yup! Thanks, mommy!” she exclaimed cheerfully before skipping off.

“Hayley?”

Hayley froze at the sound of Elijah’s voice, and a shiver ran down her spine, and she turned around to face him, a smile breaking onto her face.

“Hey!” she exclaimed by way of greeting, and took a few steps closer to him.

Elijah smiled, too, “hi,” he said softly, reaching to rest his hands on her hips, pulling her to him before they exchanged a quick kiss in greeting.

“What are you doing here?” she asked once they pulled away, though their hands brushed against each other ever so often.

“I was, uh, I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d grab a coffee and something to eat,” he shrugged. “You?”

“I’m here with Hope, actually,” she told him, and turned to scan the room for her daughter. “We’re having a mommy-daughter date, so we decided to treat ourselves,” she added, her lips curving into a small smile.

“That sounds lovely,” he said.

“Um, hold on, let me just make sure she hasn’t run off with a thousand different cakes,” she said, and turned to scan the room once more. “Hope! Hope!” she called out, but nothing. “Hope Andrea Marshall, get your butt over here, we’re ordering!” she called out again, louder this time.

“Coming, mom!” Hope yelled as she bounded towards them, her red hair flying behind her, and Hayley couldn’t help but smile.

“There she comes,” she mused, but Elijah said nothing.

“Mommy, I want the triple chocolate cake!” Hope announced cheerfully. “And, a lemonade,” she added, then paused, “please!”

“Okay, sweetie, let’s go order,” she said, and Hope skipped over to the counter while Hayley finally looked over at Elijah. Elijah just stood there, unmoving, his mouth hanging open, and when Hayley looked at him more carefully, she noticed his eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “Elijah? Elijah, what’s wrong?” she asked, but he didn’t say anything and only took a deep, shaky breath.

“I- I…”

“Elijah, what is going on?” she asked, more firmly this time, turning to him and gripped his arm, but he didn’t react, he just continued to stare in space. “Elijah!” she snapped, and finally got Elijah’s attention because he blinked as if dazed.

“I- I have to go. Sorry, I, uh, I just- I have to go,” he stammered, and cut himself off, and pulled his arm out of her grip. “Sorry, Hayley,” he added more gently. And then, he turned and left, leaving Hayley staring after him, not knowing what was wrong.

* * *

After Aiden picked Hope up from her place, Hayley called a cab to take her to the address Rebekah sent her the other day. She’d dressed in a black simple tunic shirtdress with prints on the hem and sleeves and paired it with her fancier pair of black combat boots and a black leather jacket, leaving her makeup minimal and hair down in waves.

The apartment building where Rebekah and Marcel lived was a modern building in the French Quarter, and Rebekah buzzed her in soon, so she walked into the luxurious lobby, and her eyes drifted around almost in a daze as she took it all in. It occurred to her now that the Mikaelsons weren’t just rich because they were mostly surgeons except for Rebekah who was a lawyer, but they probably came from money. And, a tiny part of her wondered if she really fit with them, with Elijah, if _Hope_ fit with this family. And, a part of her couldn’t help but be angry that Klaus hadn’t offered her any support and she had to struggle her entire pregnancy and the first two years of Hope’s life to make ends meet. The elevator arrived, pulling Hayley out of her thoughts and she stepped inside, pressing the button for the 6thfloor. Once she got off, she headed to apartment 80 and rang the doorbell.

“Hayley! Hey! I’m so glad you could make it!” Cami exclaimed when she opened the door, gesturing for her to enter, then pulled her in for a hug that Hayley returned happily.

“Hey,” she said.

“Oh, hey, Hayley!” Rebekah greeted her as she entered the spacious living room from her kitchen, looking as glamorous as the day they bumped into each other, though now she was just wearing a simple black blouse and skinny jeans, her hair straight and swept over her shoulder. The blonde pulled her in for a hug as well and they exchanged cheek kisses.

“Hey, Rebekah, thanks for inviting me,” she said just as Freya entered the room coming from the hallway.

“Oh, hey, Hayley,” she said with a kind smile, and Hayley smiled back, though she felt a little awkward since Freya was an attending and kind of her boss.

“Hi,” she said nervously.

“Relax, Hayley, I don’t bite. And, I’m not your boss tonight,” Freya quipped, flashing her another easy smile, and pulled her in for a quick hug and cheek kiss exchange, and Hayley relaxed.

“Well, come on. Do you drink?” Rebekah asked as Hayley, Cami and Freya walked over to the comfy-looking couches and armchairs while Rebekah busied herself at the kitchen island.

“Yup.”

“Red or white?”

“I’ll go with red,” Hayley replied, and Rebekah handed her a glass before grabbing her own from the island and coming to sit.

“We’re so glad you could make it, Hayley,” Rebekah said as she took a sip of her white wine.

“Me, too. Thanks again for the invite. Lucky me Hope was fine with going over to Aiden and Josh’s, and they’re not tired of babysitting her yet, so I made it,” she said with a smile.

“Have you not found a sitter, yet?”

“Nope. Not that I’ve really had the time with work and all, but nope. So, for now Aiden and Josh are performing their godfathers’ duties,” she replied, taking a sip of her own wine.

“Oh. Well, I’d be happy to take her if you ever need a night off,” Rebekah piped up, and Freya nodded.

“Well, you might want to meet her first,” Cami commented, giving Hayley a look, but Hayley shook her head.

“Yeah, Bekah, you can’t just babysit a kid you don’t know,” Freya added, causing Rebekah to roll her eyes.

“It’s not just any kid, Freya. It’s our niece. And, I would love to meet her,” Rebekah retorted.

“Speaking of which,” Hayley started slowly, “I was thinking that maybe you guys should meet her. I mean, I can’t keep the fact that she’s got family here from her forever. Sooner or later, she’d find out, and I’d hate to not be the person who tells her. So, I could talk about it to her, and maybe you guys could join when we go out for ice-cream or something?” she suggested, and she saw the way both Rebekah and Freya’s faces lit up.

“That would be lovely, Hayley,” Rebekah beamed. “And, we don’t all have to meet her, we could do it in pairs or something so we don’t overwhelm her, poor thing,” she added.

“Sure, that works. Anyways, I’ll try to broach the subject, and hopefully she doesn’t hate me. Cami, any advice?”

Cami took a sip of her wine and shrugged, “not much, really. I guess just start with the truth, and explain it so she’ll understand, and go from there. There isn’t an easy way to do this, but you’re doing this because you care about her, and like any mom want to protect her. So, I’m sure she’ll understand,” Cami told her gently. “Besides, if she’s not a rebellious teenager, she’ll be fine,” she added, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle, and Freya and Rebekah joined in as well.

“Nope, definitely not,” she said and took a sip of her wine. Rebekah stood up and returned with a platter of snacks, setting them on the coffee table in front of them. “Thanks. Anyways, she’s already sort of met Elijah,” she added, causing all three women to sort of stop what they were doing and turn towards her. While Freya and Rebekah looked shocked, Cami flashed her a sly smile.

“Oh, really?” she wondered, still smirking smugly, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Not like that,” she said, shaking her head. [She hadn’t exactly planned on telling anyone about her and Elijah, not yet at least, but she doubted she’d be able to keep it for long. Especially, since Cami knew].

“Not like what?” Rebekah asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Nothing,” Hayley muttered, and averted her gaze, but this only piqued Rebekah’s curiosity even more.

“It’s not nothing, Hayley. I’m a lawyer, I read people for a living. What did you mean when you said ‘not like that’, and what was that look Cami gave you?” she pressed, and Hayley sighed, flashing Cami a glare. “Well, then? Cami?”

Cami cleared her throat and took another sip of her wine, “not like her boyfriend,” she said, and Hayley let out a heavy sigh, her gaze drifting to the ceiling, then to the floor. Freya nearly choked on her wine, and Rebekah pounded her on the back quickly, while she continued to stare at Hayley.

“Excuse me? Did she just say boyfriend?” Rebekah demanded as Freya calmed down. Hayley glanced over at the two Mikaelson sisters, then at Cami, and pursed her lips.

“Wait,” Freya paused, and took another sip, “are you saying that _our_ brother Elijah is your boyfriend?” she finally asked, clearly still shocked. Hayley sighed, but nodded. The two sisters downed their glasses, and Cami stood to fill them.

“Since when?” Rebekah asked.

“How?” Freya asked at the same time.

Hayley took a sip of her wine, downing it, and took a deep breath, “um, it’s just- it’s early days, really,” she started awkwardly. “We met at the hospital obviously, and we became close, and there was- there was a mutual attraction, but then it became more. But, we’re just taking it slow for now,” she trailed off nervously just as Cami returned with her refilled glass, and she took a sip of it.

Something seemed to click for Rebekah as she nodded in understanding, “well, that explains it,” she said, and now it was Hayley’s turn to be confused.

“Explains what?” she asked.

“Why he was so adamant to talk to Nik about how he reacted about Hope. It wasn’t because of Hope, not really, I mean, maybe a bit, but- it was because of you, Hayley. He obviously feels protective of you, so when Nik acted like a dick, Elijah decided that it was a fine time for a lecture,” Rebekah explained, looking at her carefully, and Hayley nodded slowly as she realized what it really meant.

“That’s, uh,” she paused, and took a bit of parmesan, popping it into her mouth, “I don’t know what to say. I mean, that’s very kind of him, but he didn’t have to get into a fistfight because of me,” she said.

Cami shook her head, “actually, the fist fight part wasn’t because of you. But, it does make sense that he cared so much about Klaus’ reaction to your news that he would confront Klaus.”

Hayley furrowed her eyebrows, “wait, so if the fist fight wasn’t because of me, then what was it about?” she wondered, because it had been at the back of her mind, and she noticed the way the three women sigh, and she sobered up slightly, reaching for the glass of water on the coffee table. “What was it about? Did it- was it something to do with-” she cut herself off, and swallowed thickly, “with Jonathan?” she finally asked, and she watched as all three women looked down, and sighed once again. “Yeah, I know,” she said when none of them said anything, “Elijah told me everything,” she clarified.

“Right,” Cami muttered before looking up at Hayley, “yeah it did,” she said, and immediately the atmosphere grew tense. Cami continued, “they were really pissed at each other, and Klaus hit below the belt,” she bit her lip, hesitating, but Hayley nodded, and gave her a pointed look, willing her to say it. Finally, Cami took a deep breath, “he told Elijah that he’s not even a father anymore,” she finally said, and Rebekah and Freya took long sips out of their glasses while Hayley just blinked.

“Damn,” she finally managed to say.

“Yeah, not his finest moment,” Freya said, completely deadpan while Rebekah rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, Nik was being particularly dickish,” Rebekah added, and took another sip.

“But, they’ve talked and they’re fine now,” Cami piped up.

“That’s good,” Hayley nodded.

“So, you and Elijah are together now?” Freya wondered, looking over at her.

“Yeah…” she trailed off, and felt herself flush before she continued, “like I said, we’re taking things slow, but he- he makes me feel amazing, unlike anything I’ve felt before. I do care about him, you know. And, he was kind to me from the start. I don’t- I know we’ve only met a few weeks ago, but it’s so good, and real,” she admitted, and she was pretty sure that at this point she was as red as a tomato.

“That’s kind of sweet actually,” Cami said, and flashed her a smile while Rebekah and Freya exchanged a look.

“It is,” Rebekah agreed and cleared her throat, “but, listen, Hayley, I, uh… look, Elijah’s been through a lot, and he’s lost so much… relationships aren’t easy, and they take work. And, this is his first relationship since Katherine, so really, just don’t- don’t get your hopes up,” she said slowly, and took another sip of her wine.

“I- Rebekah, I know that it’s complicated, but I- I really like him, and I want this. Even if it crashes and burns, which I really hope it doesn’t, even if we have to take things slow, I’m willing to do it. Because… it’s worth it, it’s worth the risk,” she finally said, and she watched as all three women nodded slowly and sipped from their glasses.

“Well, then, let’s hope it doesn’t end badly,” Rebekah said, and raised her glass. The three of them raised their glasses, and they all clinked them together.

“Thanks,” Hayley muttered, and smiled.

“So, Hope met Elijah today?” Rebekah asked, changing the subject, as she went over to the kitchen to grab some more finger food while Freya refilled the glasses. “But, I had dibs,” she added, pouting, and Hayley couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Rebekah Mikaelson giving her the puppy look. Freya and Cami exchanged a look.

“Well,” she paused, and hesitated, “it wasn’t exactly a meeting. Hope and I went to this café in the Quarter to have desert, and while my daughter was off looking at deserts and I bumped into Elijah. He looked like he was going to order something as well, but then when Hope came over he just sort of froze, and then he just ran off. Honestly, it was kind of weird, and I called him, but he didn’t pick up the first few times, so I decided I’d give him some space. I don’t know, honestly, it might be nothing,” she rambled nervously, and took another sip of her wine. Rebekah hummed while Cami and Freya ate a little, though obviously all three were wondering what it meant.

“Wait,” Cami sat up, “how old is Hope?”

“She turned 7 this month,” Hayley replied with a shrug.

“Oh,” Rebekah sighed. “ _Oh_. Oh shit,” she muttered, and Freya exhaled and took another sip of her wine.

“What?” Hayley asked, her eyes drifting between the three women. “What is it?”

Cami sighed, “Jonathan would be almost 7 around now. He was 4 two and a half years ago when he died, so…” she trailed off sadly.

“Shit,” Hayley cursed under her breath. “I didn’t- I didn’t really tell him how old Hope is, though it probably slipped. Oh, God, now I feel terrible,” she said and took a mini sandwich from the tray on the coffee table. “How could I…” she trailed off as it clicked for her how Elijah must have felt.

Cami continued, “even if Elijah knew how old Hope is, he probably didn’t register it until he saw her. And, it probably just hit him and brought all that pain and grief he keeps bottled up to the surface,” she explained.

“I feel like- if I’d known, I would’ve told him beforehand, and I would’ve made sure they met properly. Gods, I just- oh, Elijah…” she sighed sadly and ran a hand through her hair.

“Hayley, you couldn’t have known,” Rebekah said, reaching to rub her shoulder in comfort.

“Yeah, you had no idea, so don’t beat yourself up,” Freya added, flashing her a quick smile.

“You should just talk to him,” Cami told her. “I mean, I know he’s a tough shell to crack, but I’m sure he’ll tell you if you talk to him. So, just talk to him,” Cami finished, and Hayley pursed her lips into a smile.

“Thanks,” she said softly, flashing them a soft smile. “Really, thank you for the advice, and all…” she trailed off, and took another sip of her wine.

“Hey, that’s what we’re here for, we gotta look out for each other, and you’re included now, Hayley,” Cami told her, smiling.

“Besides,” Rebekah added, “someone has to solve our idiot brother’s relationship problems.” Freya snorted, and Rebekah laughed.

“Oh, cut him some slack, Rebekah,” Freya said, shoving her sister lightly. “Besides, he’s not the only idiot brother we have. Speaking of, has Niklaus changed his attitude about Hope?” she wondered as she took another bite of the food on her plate.

“Nope,” she replied sadly, “not even a bit.”

Cami sighed, and took a sip of her wine, her expression thoughtful. “He said he needs time. He’s probably freaking out, really, and pushing people away is his defense mechanism,” she said.

“I get that I kind of sprang it on him, but honestly… I mean, did I get to take time? I love my daughter, I love being her mom, but it hasn’t been easy,” she admitted. “And, he could care about this at least a little, but instead he acts like it’s not even a thing. And, that just pisses me off,” she added.

“Hayley, you have to understand that Nik and our father never had the best of relationships, really our father was rather horrible to Nik. Our parents just aren’t the world’s best parents, and while that affected all of us in a way, Nik is the one affected the most. He just- he needs time. Trust me, I completely agree that my brother is being an idiot, but there is little any of us can really do about it,” Rebekah shrugged.

“Rebekah’s right,” Cami added. “And, I’m not saying that just because I’m his girlfriend, but as his former therapist. I know Klaus. He’s still dealing with issues and baggage, and the fact that you had Hope and both of you are in New Orleans now doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sorry he’s being such a dick, though,” she said. Hayley just nodded, though her mind was elsewhere.

“Okay, enough of this doom and gloom conversation. Let’s talk about something else,” Rebekah chimed in, and the conversation soon turned to more uncomplicated topics, including the occasional gossip, and Hayley relaxed easily.

* * *

Elijah left the café in a daze, and he knew Hayley deserved an explanation, but he just couldn’t be there. [He should’ve been happy to meet his niece, his girlfriend’s daughter for the first time. But, the realization that Hope was just seven, the same age his son would be if here were still alive, if his own drinking hadn't required Katherine to pick him up and led to the accident, hit and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like he’d been sucker punched]. So, he did the one thing he knew how to do. He ran. And, Hayley probably hated him at this point because he’d barely made out an apology and run off without an explanation. And, really did he have an explanation for her? What could he say to her?

After he left, he took a long walk, needing to clear his head, letting his legs take him wherever, losing himself in the buzzing and noises of the French Quarter. Eventually, he made it home and made himself a cup of tea, intending to immerse himself in a book, but he couldn’t quite focus because the day’s earlier events kept playing in his mind almost on a loop. Especially since he looked up and saw a photo on the wall, one of the few he’d hung up. But, it wasn’t just any photo. It was a photo of himself with baby Jonathan when they’d just brought him home from the hospital. He felt tears prickle at his eyes and his heart clenched painfully. Slowly, he stood up and walked over to the wall, reaching with a shaking hand for it, and gently traced Jonathan’s tiny baby face, with his perfect button nose, baby pout and closed eyes.

“Forgive me, baby,” he muttered, almost choking on a sob. He sniffled a little and felt a tear slide down his cheek, and reached to wipe it away quickly. There was a knock on the door, and he wiped his eyes shakily, and went to open the door, took a deep breath, bracing himself. It was Niklaus.

“Hello, brother,” Klaus greeted him with an amused smile.

“Niklaus,” he said by way of greeting. “What are you doing here?”

“My beautiful girlfriend is at our sister’s having girls’ night. Apparently, so is the mother of my child,” he shrugged.

“So, you were bored and decided to drop by for a visit?” he asked drily.

Klaus rolled his eyes, “oh, come on, brother. Can’t I want to hang out with my older brother?” he quipped.

Elijah groaned, but open the door further and gestured for his brother to come in.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked as he led his brother to the kitchen. “Can I offer you anything?”

“No and yes. I’ll just have a water, thanks,” Klaus said, leaning against the counter casually. Elijah poured him a glass, then set about making dinner, trying not to dwell too much on what happened at the café, but his brother must have noticed he was lost in thought.

“What’s wrong?” Niklaus asked, not beating around the bush. “You seem lost in thought.”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he said as he turned the stove on and put the pan on it, and started chopping some vegetables for risotto with vegetables.

Klaus raised his eyebrows, “well, the way you are chopping those vegetables says otherwise,” he quipped. “So, what is it? Lady troubles? Work?”

Elijah sighed in defeat, and turned to face his brother, “Well, brother, I met your daughter today. Do you realize that she’s only a few months older than Jonathan would have been?” he finally said, sounding harsher than he’d intended. Niklaus’ immediately sobered up. “I unfortunately had that occur to me when I just met her earlier. And, now my girlfriend probably hates me. How is your day going?” he said, his tone sarcastic on the last part as he resumed his chopping, though now it wasn’t quite as violent as before. His brother sighed and took a sip of his water.

“I- I knew that. Hayley told me when she told me she had her. I just- I just failed to realize that was around the same age Jon would be right about now,” Niklaus finally said, his tone apologetic. “I’m sorry, brother. So, what exactly happened?”

Elijah finished chopping and threw the vegetables into the pan, stirring with a wooden spoon.

Elijah exhaled slowly, “I was out and decided to drop by for a coffee. Hayley and Hope happened to be at the same café. And, when Hope came over to Hayley, I just- I froze. Suddenly, everything I’d been trying to bury underneath slammed into me. And, I-” he cut himself off and swallowed thickly as he filled the pot with water so he could boil the rice. Then, he continued, “I ran like a coward without an explanation. Hence why my girlfriend probably hates me and I don’t even... I have no idea how I’m going to explain it to her. I’m such an idiot,” he finished, and hung his head in shame.

Niklaus said nothing for a few seconds, looked down, then up, and met his gaze, “so, Hayley is your girlfriend?” he quipped. Of course that is what Niklaus would concentrate on. How typical of him. [He had to tell him, there was no denying it now since he’d slipped twice now. Besides, Niklaus deserved to know since she was the mother of his child despite his refusal to acknowledge said child].

Elijah stopped what he was doing and sighed, “yes. Yes, she is.”

Klaus’ lips stretched into a pleased smile, “well, congratulations are in order, then. Good for you, brother. She seems nice and certainly nothing like Katherine,” he said, slightly amused.

“How very glass-half-full of you, Niklaus,” Elijah remarked drily, rolling his eyes. “We talked things out and I believe we are official now. Not, that labels really matter to either of us.” He turned the flame lower and continued to stir the vegetables, adding salt and pepper and a few spices to them while the rice continued to boil. “You want anything else with the risotto?”

“I’m good thanks. I’d say this conversation we’re about to have requires a strong drink, but that would just be a recipe for disaster.” Elijah gave him an unimpressed look, and Klaus chuckled before continuing, “so, we’ll just have water with the food. Honestly, brother, you didn’t have to go through the trouble of cooking, we could’ve just ordered something,” he shrugged.

“I don’t mind,” he said. The rice finished boiling and he added a little butter to it before dumping it over the vegetables and mixing it. Klaus, for lack of anything to do, set the table, placing the cutlery and bringing the jug and two glasses of water as well. Elijah served the risotto directly in two plates and brought them over before taking a seat across from his brother.

“Bon appétit,” he said, and he and Niklaus duh in.

“So, brother, what are you going to do?” Klaus asked as he took a few forkfuls of risotto. “This is delicious, by the way,” he commented.

“Well, I’m not quite sure what to do. I just ran out of there, and I doubt Hayley is particularly happy with me. So, if you have any ideas, please, go ahead and illuminate me,” he said sarcastically.

“Well, I’m not exactly an expert, that is mostly Camille’s domain, but I suggest you just talk to her? No relationship is perfect, Elijah, I mean, I’m dating my former therapist for Christ’s sake,” his brother remarked, and smirked slightly amused before taking a few more forkfuls of the risotto. “Every relationship has its ups and downs, you know that, Elijah. Just because you and Hayley are together now, it doesn’t mean it will be all smooth sailing and sunshine and bloody rainbows. But, if you just talk to her, it won’t crash and burn,” he continued. “At least not because of this,” he added, a hint of amusement in his voice, and Elijah chuckled.

“Thank you, brother. That was… surprisingly good advice. Must be Camille’s touch,” he commented, and Niklaus nodded as he finished his food.

“I’m trying, you know,” his brother retorted. “And, this was delicious by the way.”

“Thank you,” he said.

Their conversation switched to easier topics such as work and surgeries, and they discussed their siblings as well, and before either of them knew it, it was past midnight.

“Well, I better go. Camille must be getting home from girls’ night soon, so…” Niklaus trailed off as he stood and stacked his plate on top of Elijah’s.

“No problem. And, don’t worry about the dishes, I’ll deal with it,” he said, leading his brother to the door.

“Thanks for dinner, brother,” Klaus said as he grabbed his jacket.

“Thanks for the company and the advice,” he replied, flashing Klaus a tense smile. Niklaus smiled back, then wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into a quick, brotherly hug he returned gladly and clapped him on the shoulder before pulling away. Just as he opened the door, he turned once more to face him, “are you sure you’re alright, brother?”

“Yes, Niklaus, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern,” he said, only slightly exasperated. They nodded at each other, and then Klaus was gone, so Elijah closed the door behind him and went to wash the dishes.

Just as he’d finished, his phone rang, and he looked to find that it was Rebekah.


	11. And, That Was the Moment I Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebekah calls Elijah, and Elijah finally tells Hayley why he ran when he saw Hope. The next day, a school assingment forces Hayley to tell Hope about her past, and Hope meets some of her family.

“Rebekah?” he said by way of greeting.

“Hello, brother,” his sister said on the other end. “I believe congratulations are in order,” she added, and Elijah’s eyes drifted it up to the ceiling, then down, and he sighed heavily. “I’m so glad you stopped being an idiot,” she added, and Elijah shook his head, though he knew she wouldn’t see him. He could hear giggling on the other end, and he pursed his lips.

“Thank you, Rebekah, I truly appreciate it. Now, is there a reason you called, or was it to just annoy me? I thought you had the girls over?” he asked as he washed his teacup as well.

“That is why I’m calling actually. See, Cami is walking since her and Klaus live close by. And, since Marcel is off studying for his boards, Freya is going to crash here. So, that leaves Hayley, and we’ve been trying to get a cab, but nothing,” she recounted, then paused, and he could hear noises on the other end, and giggling. “And then, it occurred to me that Hayley has a perfectly capable boyfriend who could come pick her up,” Rebekah added, and Elijah couldn’t help but snort in amusement. His sister was certainly a meddlesome little minx, always putting her nose in everyone else’s business, though most of the time she meant well.

Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose, “fine,” he grumbled. [He’d hoped to get more time to prepare to see Hayley, but apparently that was inevitable. Though, if Hayley fell asleep in the car, he wouldn’t mind. At least he wouldn’t have to confront things]. “I’ll, uh, I’ll come pick her up in about 10. See you soon,” he added as he went to grab his wallet and car keys and pulled on a jacket before he leaving. Sure enough, he made it to the Annex, the apartment building where Rebekah and Marcel lived, and texted Hayley that he was downstairs once he parked in front of it. Sure enough, a few minutes later, she appeared, and took Elijah’s breath away. She was wearing a black printed shirtdress that reached a little above the knee paired with combat boots and a leather jacket on top, and her hair was cascading down her shoulders in gentle waves and Elijah wanted to run his hands through it, to cup the back of her head and kiss her, to curl those silky tresses around his fingers. She’d kept her makeup minimal and natural, but he loved it, and she looked absolutely gorgeous despite her tired pace. Hayley reached his car and got in.

“Hey,” she greeted him, flashing him a mischievous smile, and he couldn’t help but chuckle amused as she fumbled with her seatbelt before he took pity on her and buckled it for her, his finger brushing against her shoulder as he did.

“Hi,” he said by way of greeting, glancing at her fondly. “Did you have a good time?”

“I did,” she grinned before they fell in silence as he drove. At first, the silence was comfortable, but then it grew tense as the elephant in the room became quite obvious.

“You going to pretend like it didn’t happen?” Hayley finally blurted as he parked in front of her building.

Elijah sighed heavily, “is it working?”

“Nope. Look, Elijah, I know why you’re upset, I know that Hope is only a few months older than Jonathan would be and that it really hit when you met her,” she revealed, her lips curving into a small smile, and Elijah let out a breath he’d been holding, his shoulders slumping in relief. “I’m sorry I never really said it to you, I’m sorry it took you by surprise,” she continued gently, and reached across the console to brush her finger against his skin, but he flinched almost instinctively even though he didn’t really have a reason for it, and pulled away. 

“I- it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known it would affect me like it did. It didn’t even occur to me, so I don’t blame you,” he said, his thick with emotion. “I just- are you mad at me, though?” he wondered, his heart hammering in his chest.

“What? No, of course not, Elijah! Don’t be ridiculous,” she said incredulously, her eyes wide, and he felt himself flush. Her expression softened, “don’t be embarrassed, baby,” she added, and he couldn’t help but be surprised at the term of endearment though he didn’t mind it. It was nice, and brought with it a sensation he hadn’t felt in years.

“I-” he cut himself off, sounding choked, “it’s stupid, really. I just-” he said, his voice shaking with emotion, but Hayley moved closer to him and took his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and reached to cup his cheek with her other hand.

“It’s not stupid, Elijah, it’s not. I know how much it still hurts you, so don’t ever be embarrassed by it. Just don’t hide this pain for me, please,” she said in a soft, emotional voice, and he could see her eyes were glassy with tears.

“Thank you,” he said, and felt a tear slide down his cheek, but Hayley wiped it away quickly. “I just- I miss him so much,” he finally admitted, practically choking on a sob, and he heard Hayley gasp quietly.

“Oh, Elijah,” she said softly, and continued to caress his jaw, and he tilted his head slightly to press a chaste kiss to her wrist. “I’m so sorry,” she added sadly.

“Thank you,” he repeated, and took her hand that he was holding and lifted it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles. Hayley smiled softly, and blushed a little.

“What can I do?” she wondered, wiping another stray tear.

“Just be here,” he muttered against her skin. “Just be here, Hayley, please.”

“Okay,” she muttered.

They sat there for a while before Hayley pulled away a little reluctantly, “I should, uh, I should go,” she said softly.

“Would you like me to walk you to your door?” he enquired, and Hayley smiled.

“I would. But, we both know things probably wouldn’t stop at the door. Especially, considering my inhibitions are lowered. So, it’s probably best I just go. But, thank you for picking me up and let me know if you want to do something over the weekend,” she told him, and he nodded.

“Thank you, Hayley. Thank you for not hating me for this,” he said, a hint of apprehension in his voice.

“I could never,” she said firmly. “I could never hate you, Elijah. But, seriously, I better go. I’ll see you?” she said, and he nodded.

“Yes, I’ll see you,” he agreed. And then, she leaned across the console and pressed her lips against his cheek, then, opened the door and got out. “Bye, Elijah,” she said as she walked to the front door.

“Goodnight, Hayley,” he called out and watched her go, his own mind spinning.

* * *

The next morning, Hayley woke up with a throbbing headache and she cursed not taking anything before bed the night before, but she’d been so tired, she’d barely made it to her bedroom and crashed, not even bothering to change. She groaned, and rolled over before slowly sitting up, wincing as a few rays of sunlight shot through the curtains. Her vision blurred slightly, and her head was pounding. Shower; she needed a shower. Then, she needed Advil. But, first she needed to get out of these clothes and toss them into the laundry basket.

“Oh, fuck,” she muttered when she noticed that she’d also fallen asleep with her shoes on. Slowly, she bent over and untied her combat boots before kicking them off, and tossing them away slightly. At least, she’d taken off her jacket because falling asleep in it was definitely not comfortable. She took off her shirtdress quickly, and tossed it into the laundry basket before going to grab a clean pair of underwear and her pajamas. When she saw her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she almost gasped because she looked like the living dead, her makeup smudged and her hair a mess. She quickly washed her face with makeup remover, then cleanser and turned on the shower. The hot water cascaded over her body, seeping into her tense muscles, and she let it wash over her, relaxing despite her throbbing head. She gently massaged shampoo into her hair, then conditioned it before finally getting out when she was as clean as possible, wrapping a fluffy towel around herself. She went over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed an Advil, popping two pills into her mouth before she set about drying herself. Once she was dry, she put on clean underwear and clean pajamas and dried her hair before going to check her phone. She had a text from Aiden reporting that Hope was fine and they were having pancakes for breakfast, a text in a new groupchat with Cami, Freya and Rebekah checking in on how she was and a message from Elijah. It read: _Hi, Hayley. How are you feeling?_ Hayley couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he was being, and she typed back a quick reply: _Hey, you. My head hurts like a bitch, but otherwise I’m fine. Apparently, I just fell asleep last night with my shoes and dress on. But, I took a shower, 2 Advils and am going to pick up Hope soon. How are you?_ Elijah texted back quickly: _I’m good, just got back from a run. I have a few errands to run now, so I better go. We’ll talk later._ Hayley couldn’t help but imagine Elijah in running clothes, and swallowed thickly before texting back: _K, sounds good. Talk to u later baby x._ She then texted back in the girls’ groupchat, telling them she was fine before texting Aiden that she’d be at his place in about 40 minutes.

After finishing to get ready, throwing on jeans, a t-shirt and her favorite leather jacket along with her trusty combat boots, she put on some makeup and brushed her wavy hair, grabbed her bag and keys and ran out the door.

Josh opened the door as soon as Hayley rang the doorbell, a tense expression on his face.

“Hey, Josh,” she said in greeting, and the two exchanged a hug.

“Hey, Hales. You hungry? We’ve got breakfast,” he said, opening the door and gesturing for her to come in, no longer frowning, an easy smile on his face.

“I could eat, yeah,” she smiled, and followed him into the kitchen.

“Oh, hey, you,” Aiden said as he, too, entered the kitchen, and they hugged as well. “How was girls’ night?” he asked as he took a seat across from her while Josh busied himself with coffee.

“Fun. It was, actually, really nice if I’m being honest. They’re pretty nice people,” she said with a shrug.

“Help yourself to pancakes. I’ll fry some more bacon,” Aiden got up and turned on the stove while Hayley grabbed a few pancakes, berries and maple syrup. Josh handed her a cup of steaming coffee, and she smiled at him gratefully.

“Thanks, Josh,” she said softly.

“No problem,” he shrugged. Then, he said more loudly, “hey, kiddo! Look who’s here!”

“Coming!” Hope yelled from the other room, and minutes later she bounded in, her hair in braids that swung around her shoulders as she ran. Upon noticing Hayley, her entire face lit up, and she ran over to her, throwing her arms around her neck while she exclaimed, “mom!” and Hayley barely caught her. They hugged tightly, and Hayley peppered Hope’s face with kisses as she held her tightly.

“Oh, I’ve missed you, sweetie!” she said, pressing a few wet kisses to Hope’s cheeks. “I’ve missed you loads!”

“I missed you, too, mommy!” Hope said cheerfully, and kissed her on the cheek. “Did you have a good time?”

“I did,” Hayley grinned. “Did you?”

“Yup! We had pizza and watched a movie! It was awesome!”

“I’m so glad, sweetie,” Hayley said as she took a sip of her coffee while Aiden brought the fried bacon over. “Did you have breakfast already?”

“Yeah, I did! Didn’t Aiden tell you so?” Hope raised an eyebrow at her, and Aiden and Josh snorted behind her while Hayley glared mockingly at them.

“He did,” Hayley chuckled. “I’m just checking.”

Hayley ate quickly and finished her coffee, and waited for Hope to grab her things before they bid goodbye to Aiden and Josh, and left.

As they were driving, Hayley noticed that Hope had gone strangely quiet after leaving Aiden and Josh’s place.

“Hope?”

“Yeah, mom?” her daughter asked, peering at her, and Hayley could hear a hint of sadness in her voice, could see her unhappy expression in the rearview mirror.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Hope shrugged, and Hayley raised an eyebrow.

“Nice try, kiddo. It’s obviously not nothing,” she said as they got closer to their place. “C’mon, what’s wrong?” she asked once more as she parked the car, and when she turned back to take a good look, she noticed Hope was about to cry. “Hope, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m-” Hope cut herself off and sniffled, her beautiful blue eyes glassy with tears, and Hayley’s heart broke because she hadn’t seen Hope this upset in a while.

“Hope, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Hayley said as she reached to caress her daughter’s cheek, wiping away a few tears that had spilled with her thumb. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” she repeated in a gentle voice.

“I just-” Hope sniffled once more, then moved and grabbed her backpack, unzipping it. “I’m really sorry, mommy, but they’re making us do this stupid family tree and I just-” she broke off with another cry, almost a sob, and Hayley’s stomach twisted painfully.

“Oh, sweetie,” Hayley said sadly, and reached back rub Hope’s knee. “I’m so sorry,” she added.

“I just don’t know what to do! And, I- I know you and Jackson aren’t married anymore and he’s not my dad, but then I don’t know what to put. I can only put you,” Hope blubbered almost hysterically, and wiped her face while Hayley grabbed a few tissues and handed them to her.

“Oh, sweetie,” she sighed sadly, her heart breaking. And then, it occurred to her what she could do, and she couldn’t help but cheer when it finally clicked. “You know, actually, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you about that. How would you like to meet someone who can help you fill out the other side of that tree?” she suggested, and Hope’s face lit up immediately.

“Really? Who?” she asked giddily, and Hayley could see her practically jumping out of her seat.

“Okay, calm down, please,” she said with a chuckle. “Reign that excitement in until I tell you who it is you’re going to meet, kay?”

“Okay, mom!” Hope agreed, beaming.

Finally, they reached the park, and Hayley scanned the area for a parking spot.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“What are you doing?” she asked as Hayley parked carefully.

“Parking, sweetie. We’re going to the park for our chat, okay? I think some ice-cream will do us good, kay?” she said, flashing Hope a quick smile.

“Okay,” Hope agreed.

Finally, after parking, the two of them got out, and Hope took her hand as they began walking to the park. They stopped in front of the ice-cream truck, and Hayley let Hope choose two flavors, getting a simple strawberry cheesecake one for herself before she led Hope over to a bench.

“Okay, mom, shoot. What did you want to tell me?” Hope blurted, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle because when she did this she was her daughter, not beating around the bush, not taking any bullshit.

“Okay, smarty pants, I’ll tell you. But, this is a little complicated,” she said as she licked her ice-cream.

“Try me, mom,” her daughter quipped sassily, and Hayley chuckled.

“Okay, Little Miss. So, you know all about family, don’t you?” she started, clearing her throat, and Hope turned, peering at her curiously.

“Yeah. You and I are family. Always and forever, right mommy?” Hope said, her blue eyes staring at her unblinking.

Hayley nodded, “that’s right baby girl. We’re family, you and me. Always and forever. Well, you know how usually families have mommy and daddy and kid. But, I didn’t really know your dad when I met him and got pregnant with you. So, he didn’t really know about you. And then, I found out that your dad works at the same hospital I do, now,” she said slowly. [Hayley couldn’t help but be glad that they had The Talk earlier, and she wouldn’t have to explain it now. Now, she had to explain the extremely dysfunctional Mikaelson family. Oh joy].

“Really? So, my dad is right here? In New Orleans? Can I meet him?” Hope burst excitedly, her eyes wide, and Hayley’s heart clenched because she was about to burst that bubble.

Hayley took a deep breath, licked a bit of her ice-cream, and finally spoke, “yeah… he is here. But, unfortunately you can’t meet him… yet.” And, Hope’s eyes filled with tears, and Hayley’s heart broke, and she scooted closer to her daughter, putting her free arm around her as Hope began to cry softly. Hayley held her for a few minutes, ice-cream briefly forgotten before Hope pulled away and wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, then remembered her ice-cream and began eating it. And then, she looked over to Hayley, her tear-filled blue eyes staring at Hayley, and Hayley just sighed heavily.

“Does he-” Hope paused, and ate another bite of her ice-cream cone, “does he not like me, or something? And, that’s why he doesn’t want to meet me?” she finally asked, and Hayley wanted to cry, and scream, and possibly punch Klaus because it was not fair for Hope to be asking this question.

“No, sweetie, no!” she said, shaking her head vehemently as she scooted closer to Hope, and reached to cup her cheek, so Hope could look at her. “No, Hope, okay? It’s not you, sweetheart, it’s- your dad… has issues, and you’ll meet him when he stops acting more like a child then you,” she said, and here Hope laughed. Hayley couldn’t help but laugh a little herself because it was ridiculous really. “But, you do have two aunts and an uncle who have been _begging_ me to let them meet you, and another uncle who probably would, too, if he knew me better,” she said with an amused chuckle.

“Really?” Hope stared at Hayley wide-eyed. “So, I have like a big family?” she asked with a giddy smile.

“Yeah, baby girl, you do. Kinda crazy, right?” she remarked, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Hope’s head.

“But, didn’t you know about it?” Hope asked, becoming serious once more. “Didn’t you know that I have such a big family?”

“Nope,” Hayley answered. “I barely knew your dad, really, I only knew his name. I had no idea about any of it. And then, I found out when I started working here. And, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but I was trying to figure it out myself,” she said honestly.

“It’s okay, mommy,” Hope smiled as she finished her ice-cream, then stood up and threw it away. Hayley did the same before they both sat down once again. “So, when can I meet them?”

“Well, if you want we can meet your Auntie Bekah tonight, or tomorrow, whatever you prefer,” she shrugged.

“Do you think she can help me with my school thing?”

Hayley laughed, “oh, I’m sure she’d love to!”

Hope nodded, and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence.

“Hey, mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked, and if Hayley were still eating her ice-cream, she would have choked on it. She turned, and stared in shock at Hope who was merely looking at her innocently.

“Wh- why do you ask?” she managed to ask, stumbling over her words a little.

“Because I saw you kissing that guy in the suit at the café,” she said simply like it was no big deal while Hayley’s own mind spun. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Um, I- yeah he is…” Hayley finally managed to say after a few long seconds.

“Who is he?”

Hayley swallowed thickly as she tried to figure out what to say. [She couldn’t _lie_ to Hope, she just couldn’t, but how was she supposed to say this?]

“Mom? Are you okay?” Hope asked after Hayley didn’t say anything for a while.

“Y- yeah,” she managed, and gulped, “I’m fine, sweetie. He is- well, there is no easy way to say this, but the man you saw me kiss at the café, my boyfriend, that’s, uh, that’s Elijah. Your uncle. Your dad’s brother,” she finally said, stumbling over her words, and Hope gasped, her blue eyes wide with shock, but she didn’t say anything, and Hayley’s stomach twisted painfully. “Hope, please say something,” she said softly, and glanced over at her daughter who just sat there, speechless.

“I’m trying to process, mom, that’s all,” Hope said, completely deadpan, and Hayley snorted.

“Process away,” she muttered, sighing in defeat.

“But, I don’t get it. How come you had me with… whoever my dad is, and now you’re dating his brother?” she finally said, breaking the silence. Hayley sighed.

“Your dad’s name is Klaus. And, well, I didn’t know your dad well, like I told you. And, I never had any feelings for him. Nor will I have any feelings for him ever. But, I do have feelings for Elijah. And, it has nothing to do with your dad, not really. Your dad is just that. Your dad. Elijah and I met at work, and we’ve gotten pretty close, and I really like him,” she said slowly, nervously, because there was no textbook for explaining this.

“Do you love him? Uncle Elijah?” Hope wondered.

“Not yet, baby girl. We’ve only just met a few weeks ago, it's not even been a month. But, I do like him. A lot,” she said, and felt herself flush.

“Aww, mommy! You’re blushing!” Hope exclaimed, delighted, and Hayley couldn’t help but laugh. “You must really like him! Lily from school said her older sister blushes anytime she talks about her boyfriend, so it has to be true!” she said sweetly.

“Well, if Lily says so, I guess she’s right,” she chuckled lightly. “And, yeah, I really do…” she trailed off, and pulled Hope closer to her, pressing a tender kiss to the top of Hope’s head.

After a few seconds, Hope pulled away. “So, can I meet Auntie Bex today?” she asked, pouting slightly, and Hayley could practically see the puppy look coming.

“Sure! Maybe, let me just give Auntie Bex a warning,” she said with a chuckle as she pulled her phone out of her pocket to call Rebekah.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Rebekah did not mind Hayley and Hope coming over, and she was already waiting for me. Hope was bouncing up and down the entire elevator ride, excited to meet her Auntie Bex. Hayley just chuckled in amusement.

“Hi!” Rebekah greeted them with a smile.

“Hi, Auntie Bex!” Hope exclaimed cheerfully, and Rebekah barely had a second to brace herself before Hope launched herself at her, wrapping her arms around Rebekah’s middle. Rebekah returned the hug, and smiled when she looked up at Hayley.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she said, smoothing Hope’s hair gently while Hayley just stood there, smiling at them both. Finally, Hope untangled herself from around Rebekah and pulled away, and Rebekah ushered Hayley in while resting her hand on Hope’s shoulder. Then, she pulled Hayley into a quick hug and they exchanged cheek kisses.

“Hey,” Hayley greeted her, returning the hug. “Sorry for the short notice, but thanks for having us,” she said once they pulled away.

“Oh, please, Hayley,” Rebekah quipped, with a smile. “I don’t mind at all,” she said, shaking her hand. “Really, thank you for bringing her.”

“You can thank Hope’s school assignment. Here I was trying to figure out what to say, and how to tell her, and she told me about the assignment, so I told her about the other side of her family. Well, a really short version. Thought I’d leave the explaining to you,” she shrugged as the three of them walked into Rebekah’s living room and kitchen area.

“Of course,” Rebekah nodded. “Hey, do you two want to stay and have pizza for lunch?” she asked, and before Hayley could open her mouth to say anything, Hope turned with her, and gave her the full puppy look.

“Can we, mommy? Please, can we?” she said pleadingly, and Hayley sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“Well, I guess we can. Since Aunt Bekah offered,” she replied, smiling as she glanced over at Hope who had quickly made herself comfortable at the table.

“Hey, Auntie Bex?” Hope looked up as she was pulling some papers and her pencil case from her Frozen-themed backpack.

“Yeah, sweetie?” Rebekah asked as she trotted over to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“Can you help me with my family tree?” she asked, smiling innocently at them both.

“Of course I can, baby girl,” Rebekah beamed. “Now, would you like some orange juice?”

“Yes, please.” Rebekah poured Hope a glass before turning to Hayley.

“And, you? Coffee? Tea? Wine? Water?”

“Coffee, actually,” she said.

“Milk?”

“Sure, why not,” she shrugged, and Rebekah set about making a coffee at her fancy coffeemaker.

“So, where is Marcel, by the way?”

“Shift at the hospital. He’ll be home in the evening, though,” Rebekah said, then handed her a mug with coffee, and Hayley hummed in pleasure as the aroma filled the air. She settled at the kitchen island while Rebekah went over to Hope.

“So, why don’t we start with our parents, your grandparents,” she said as she began sketching the family tree with Hope’s help while Hayley just watched, enjoying her cup of coffee. “Our mum’s name is Esther Mikaelson, and she has a sister named Dahlia. But, we haven’t seen Aunt Dahlia in years, and I’m pretty sure she has no kids or husband,” Rebekah said as she and Hope wrote something at the top of the large paper designated for the tree. “And, our dad’s name is Mikael Mikaelson,” she added, and here Hayley snorted.

“Mikael Mikaelson?” she repeated, and Rebekah looked over at her. “Did his parents hate him or something?”

Rebekah shrugged, “I have no bloody idea. Never met them,” she said, though she was completely unbothered by it.

“Mikael Mikaelson. That’s kind of funny,” Hope mused with a giggle.

“I guess it is, baby girl. Now, there’s another thing. Mikael isn’t actually your dad’s father,” she said, and Hayley’s own eyes widened. “See, our mum, Esther, had your dad with another man. His name was Ansel,” she explained.

Hope looked up again, “but, she was with Mikael? That’s like you, mommy! You had me with dad, but you’re dating my uncle Elijah!” she exclaimed with a triumphant smile on her face. Rebekah snickered while all Hayley could do was blink and nod, speechless.

Finally, once she’d regained her ability to speak, she said, “yup… that’s right, Hope.” But, she made a mental note to ask Rebekah about this earlier. Hope couldn’t go around thinking this kind of dysfunctional family was the norm, but that was a problem for another time.

“Anyways. So, Esther and Mikael had six kids. Let’s draw six lines right here,” Rebekah said, and the two of them leaned closer, drawing the lines. “Freya, is the oldest. Then, Finn who is off in Europe doing God knows what. Then, Elijah,” she started ticking them off, and Hope smiled at the sound of Elijah’s name. “Then, Kol. Then, me. Do you have to write how old we are?”

“Nope. Just their names and how they’re related to me,” Hope said.

“Right, okay. So, the youngest is Henrik. He’s 12. Our parents had most of us pretty young, then Henrik kind of just happened later on,” Rebekah explained, and she and Hope wrote in the names. “And, of course your dad over here between Esther and Ansel,” Rebekah added, and Hope moved to scribble something on the spot Rebekah pointed her to. “Okay, well. None of us are married, unless Finn is, but we wouldn’t know about that.” Hayley couldn’t help but snicker at that. She briefly wondered what the hell was going on with Finn, but didn’t say anything about it. [There was also a part of her that considered opening her mouth about Katherine, but she quickly realized what Rebekah was doing. The whole Katherine drama, and everything that happened with Jonathan wasn’t for Rebekah to tell Hope. That was Elijah’s story, and he would tell Hope whenever he was ready. So, for the purpose of Hope’s assignment, that spot was empty]. “So, that’s it,” Rebekah said. “Now, why don’t I go order the pizza while your mom helps you with her side?”

“Mommy?” Hope asked, turning to her. “Can we do this tonight at home?”

“Yeah, of course, sweetie,” Hayley said, and tried to hide her relief at not having to rehash old wounds, though she would still have to do it later. But, she could at least prepare for later. “Why don’t you color a bit while Aunt Bekah orders the pizza and mommy has to make a phone call.”

“Okay!” Hope exclaimed, and pulled her coloring supplies out of her backpack. Hayley pulled out her phone, and walked out to the deck, opening the sliding door, and shutting it behind her. Then, she clicked on Elijah’s name in her contacts. Elijah picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hayley? Is everything alright?” he asked, sounding worried, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Um, hello to you, too,” she said by way of greeting. Elijah chuckled on the other end.

“Oh. Hi,” he said softly, sounding slightly anxious, and she could practically see him smile in embarassment, his eyes crinkling.

“Hey,” she said, smiling, even though he couldn’t see her. “So, uh, I’m at Rebekah’s. I told Hope about the family, and brought her over to Rebekah’s so she can explain things, and well, meet her,” she started, and bit her lip.

“Oh. So, you decided to tell her?”

“Well, technically, you can blame Hope’s family tree assignment from school for that,” she said with a chuckle. “Poor kid started crying in the car when I picked her up from Aiden and Josh’s, but after a quick explanation and some ice-cream, I brought her over to Rebekah’s. She’s actually taken everything in stride,” she explained.

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad,” he said. “So, why did you call me?”

Hayley bit her lip, even though he couldn’t see her.

“Hayley, what is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Elijah said when she didn’t say anything for a while.

“Yeah, I know…” She took a deep, “so, you know, since Hope knows everything, including about you and me, uh, I was- I was thinking that maybeyoucouldcomeoverfordinner?” she asked, but the last part came out jumbled together, and she heard Elijah chuckle in amusement on the other end.

“Hayley, darling, please relax,” Elijah said slowly in his surgeon voice, and she took a deep breath, then exhaled. “Now, please, slow down… whatever it is, you have to tell me,” he said, and she could practically see the expression on his face, a mixture of understanding and concern.

She took another deep breath, “okay. Here goes. So, I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner at our place? So Hope could meet you? I- I know it’s painful for you considering Jonathan would be Hope’s age, but I just- it would really mean a lot to both of us if you would come over for dinner, but it’s fine, if you’re not ready-” she rambled, and then Elijah cut her off.

“I would love to,” he said, and she froze, shocked.

“Really?” she asked, sounding slightly emotional.

“Yes, darling. Really. I would love to,” he said softly, and Hayley sighed in relief, a smile stretching on her face. “Now, when would this dinner be?”

“Tomorrow around 7pm?”

“Sounds perfect. Do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nope, just you. Just you, Elijah Mikaelson, you’re perfect,” she said a little breathlessly.

“Far from, Hayley…” he paused, and Hayley opened her mouth to argue, but he continued, “but, I will be there tomorrow. See you then?”

“Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll see you then. Let me know if y- if you change your mind,” she said.

“Not a chance,” he retorted. “I will see you tomorrow, Hayley… you have my word,” he added firmly, and she smiled again.

“Okay. See you tomorrow,” she said softly, nodding in agreement even though he couldn’t see her.

* * *

Hayley had dropped Hope off with Rebekah Sunday morning, not that the blonde minded, so she could clean in peace. When Hayley had told her the reason for this was that Elijah was coming over to meet Hope in the evening, Rebekah had squealed so loudly, Hayley was almost sure more than half the inhabitants of the Annex had heard her. So, after leaving Rebekah’s, she went shopping for food and some cleaning supplies as well as a few more things for the apartment. [Since Elijah was vegetarian, Spaghetti Bolognese was off, but she could easily make some homemade pesto with pasta and have a cheese platter. Maybe some bruschetta with tomato sauce if she had time. She’d also bought mini-tarts and bread from the bakery close to their apartment]. She drove home and set about preparing dinner and ta getting ready, glad that Rebekah was going to drop Hope off later.

While the tomatoes for the sauce were in the pan, Hayley took a quick a quick shower before getting started with the pesto, putting the basil, parmesan and olive oil in the blender and blending it all together. Then, she checked on the tomato sauce and added the seasoning in it and left it to cool down while she went to set the table. She was weirdly nervous even though she kept telling herself this was no big deal, just Elijah, her and Hope and it would all be fine, but she hadn’t done this before, so she almost dropped a plate, her hands clammy and shaking. Once she set the table, she cut the bread she’d bought fresh from the bakery that morning and sprayed it with olive oil before putting it in the oven, and filled a pot with water. Her phone rang, and she almost jumped out of her skin.

“Rebekah!” she exclaimed breathlessly as she checked her watch. It was 18:00, and Elijah would be there in an hour.

“Hello to you, too,” Rebekah said with a chuckle. “We’re on our way now. How are you doing?”

“Fine!” she almost squeaked as she fumbled through her wardrobe looking for something both casual and nice to wear.

“Hayley, honey, relax,” Rebekah said calmly. “It’s going to be okay,” she added.

“I am relaxed, I’m fine!” she snapped, more harshly than she intended. “Sorry, Bekah. I’m just- I’ve never done this before,” she added more kindly, but a little breathlessly as she finally pulled out a pair of nice skinny jeans, a lacy silk top and a forest green silk button down shirt that she put on, leaving a few buttons undone that showed the lace of her top and twisted her hair into a knot before running back to the kitchen as a slightly burning smell filled the air.

“Hayley, I’m sure that this is one of many firsts you and my brother will have, and while that might be nerve-wracking, I assure you you’ll be fine,” Rebekah told her calmly which was only more infuriating to Hayley. 

“Easy for you to say,” Hayley grumbled as got to the kitchen just in time, too, since the bread was about to burn, and she turned off the oven and pulled out the tray with the bruschetta, almost dropping it on the counter with a clatter.

“What was that?” Rebekah exclaimed.

“Just me trying and failing to cook. It’s fine, nothing’s broken or burned, so yay me, I guess,” she muttered, panting slightly. She checked her watch once more; it was only 18:15, so she decided to start putting the tomato sauce on the bruschetta because she wasn’t going to boil the pasta until later.

“I’m proud of you, Hales,” Rebekah quipped, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort. “Anyways, we’re close. Are you sure you don’t need anything?” she asked.

“Nope, I’m good. Just Hope,” she replied after taking a minute to go through her mental checklist, to make sure she really did have everything.

“Alright then. We’ll see you soon. And, you try to relax, okay?”

“I’ll try, but not making any promises,” she retorted, rolling her eyes in amusement. “Bye, Rebekah,” she added, dragging it out a bit, resulting in Rebekah giggling on the other end.

“Bye, Hales,” she said on the other end, then hung up. Hayley continued to make the bruschetta, setting them on a wooden platter. She’d just finished it and put it in the fridge when her phone rang again. This time, it was Elijah. Hayley’s heart leapt in her throat, and she fumbled with her phone as she made to answer it. “Changed your mind already?” she said as soon as she put her phone to her ear, and she heard Elijah chuckle on the other end.

“Not at all. We are doing this, Hayley Marshall, do you hear me?” he said, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes, sir,” she agreed sarcastically. Then, she bit her lip, “so,” she began, panting a little, “you on your way already?”

“About to head out, yes. With traffic it’ll take a while for me to get to yours,” he told her. “Did you want me to get something on the way?” he asked.

“Nope, I’m good. I’ve got everything under control,” she said a little quickly as her heart hammered in her chest, and she tried to calm her nerves by taking deep breaths, but it wasn’t really working.

“That is good to hear,” Elijah said, ignoring her stammering. “Then, I will see you at 1900, yeah?” he said.

“Yup. Seven o’clock. See you then,” she said, trying to sound cheerful despite her nerves, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“See you,” Elijah muttered, then hung up. Hayley let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding just as the downstairs doorbell rang. She buzzed Rebekah and Hope in, and went over to the couch, nervously fluffing out the pillows and arranging the blankets for what was seemed like the millionth time. The doorbell rang, and she went to answer it.

“Hi, mom!” Hope greeted her cheerfully before throwing herself into her arms, wrapping her much smaller arms around Hayley’s neck.

“Hey, sweetie,” Hayley said as she hugged Hope back before pulling away. “Did you have fun at Aunt Bekah’s?”

“Yup! So much fun!” Hope exclaimed cheerfully. “Aunt Bekah even braided my hair! See?”

“Wow, that is very pretty, baby girl,” Hayley said, and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Rebekah. “Okay, now go wash your hands then go to your room and start getting ready, kay?”

“Yes, mom,” Hope said, and ran off, leaving Hayley and Rebekah standing in the hallway.

“You all set?” Rebekah wondered as she looked around the part of Hayley’s apartment she could see.

“Yeah. I’ll boil the pasta closer to when Elijah gets here. Otherwise, everything is ready,” she said. “I just have to go finish getting ready myself,” she added.

“Hayley, it will be fine, everything will be fine, I’m sure,” Rebekah said encouragingly. “Elijah’s not a snob, I’m sure he’ll appreciate…” she paused, and gestured around, “everything.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. I’m just- I’m nervous. I really hope, no pun intended, that tonight goes well. Elijah said he’s fine on the phone, but I guess there’s a tiny part of me that thinks he’ll realize he’s not ready for this at the last minute and leave,” she admitted, and bit her lip. “It’s kind of stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid, Hayley. It’s really sweet how hard you’re working for all this to go well, and I’m sure it will. And, as for Elijah, I understand you are nervous, but it will be fine. He obviously cares about you, and he knows that Hope is a big part of your life, so he’ll be here. Besides, something tells me he’d like to meet his niece, too,” Rebekah said, reaching to rub Hayley’s shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, thanks… guess, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop…” she trailed off, and attempted to muster up a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It will be fine, Hayley. Please, just relax. And, I want details as soon as you can provide them. Maybe after you finish your next shift?” Rebekah said very seriously, but her lips stretched into a small smile.

“Okay, Rebekah,” Hayley chuckled and shook her head. “Thank you for everything. I’ll see you later.”

“Yup, see you soon!” Rebekah said, and the two exchanged a quick hug and cheek kisses.

“Bye, Bekah! Thanks again!” Hayley called out cheerfully while Rebekah left. Hayley turned her attention back to the food.

* * *

At 18:40, Hayley turned on the stove and put the water to boil, throwing in a handful of salt, and went to do her makeup. She kept it minimal, only her lip-gloss was a bright berry color and let her wavy hair down, and put on some jewelry as well. She checked on Hope, who was wearing her favorite princess Elsa t-shirt and jean-short overalls, and smiled at her.

“Are you okay, mommy?” Hope asked after looking at Hayley carefully. “You’re acting so strange,” she said, shaking her head.

Hayley smiled nervously, “I’m fine, sweetie,” she said, her tone slightly higher in pitch the way it did whenever she was nervous.

“Uh uh,” Hope didn’t sound convinced. Then, her daughter seemed to realize something, and she looked at Hayley with an amused smile on her face, “you’re nervous, mommy! Is that because Uncle Elijah is coming over for dinner and you _like_ like him?” she wondered, still grinning amused like this was the most hilarious thing.

Hayley opened her mouth, then closed it. “You know what, smarty-pants? I’m gonna go, I think the water for the pasta is boiling,” she said, though she was smiling, and turned around and went back to the kitchen.

“You _like_ like Uncle Elijah and that makes you nervous!” Hope quipped in a singsong voice from behind her before breaking into a fit of giggles. Hayley just shook her head. The water was boiling, so Hayley threw the pasta in and set the timer for 8 minutes, so it would be al dente and looked around the room, making sure it looked fine before going to cut the cheese and putting it on another platter, setting it on the table. She also removed the bruschetta from the fridge and put it on the table, removing the foil she’d covered it with. Just then, the doorbell rang, and Hayley’s stomach clenched in excitement, and she heard Hope squeal before she went to buzz him in. Minutes later, though it somehow seemed longer, the doorbell rang again, and Hayley went to answer it, pulling the door open to reveal Elijah Mikaelson, wearing black slacks and a light blue button down shirt with its sleeves rolled and a few buttons undone at the top, the chain that held his army tags peeking out just barely. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a box of chocolates in the other, and a smile broke on his face when their gazes met.

Hayley returned the smile, a bit shyly, “hi,” she said softly, a little breathlessly.

“Hi,” he said as she stepped back, and he entered before she shut the door behind him. “These are for you,” he said, handing her the flowers, and she smiled gratefully.

“Thank you,” she said. And then, she couldn’t help herself anymore, and she wrapped one arm around his neck, the other holding the flowers and pressed her lips to his. Elijah froze for a second before he returned the kiss, his free hand going to rest on her hips, and he pulled her closer. Hayley deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his, and their tongues tangled together. The timer beeped then, loudly, and Hayley pulled away abruptly. “Oh my God! The pasta! Sorry, wait, hold on!” she said quickly, and ran to the kitchen, dropping the flowers onto the table as she ran to turn the stove off, and grabbed the pot before going over to the sink to drain it.

“Hayley, are you alright?” Elijah asked with an amused chuckle as he came behind her.

“Fine,” she said breathlessly as she brought the pot back onto the stove and poured some olive oil in before grabbing the pesto. “I got it,” she said as she put in the pesto before she began mixing the pasta.

“This looks amazing, you know you didn’t have to make such an effort,” he told her.

“It wasn’t really that big of a deal, I honestly don’t mind,” she said, smiling at him anxiously.

“Why don’t I help you? Do you have vase?

“Yeah, uh, there’s a vase on the coffee table in the living room. Right through that door,” she said. Elijah returned moments later holding a vase that he filled before putting the flowers and setting them on the kitchen counter.

“These are beautiful, Elijah, thank you. Why don’t you help yourself to some cheese?” she said as she finished preparing the pasta and pulled out the grated parmesan from the fridge. Elijah came over to her, and reached for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, and Hayley felt that now-familiar flutter in her stomach that happened every time Elijah Mikaelson touched her. She smiled as he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, and she sighed, her lips curving into a slow smile.

“With pleasure,” he quipped. “But, I believe that there was another purpose to this dinner,” he paused, “now, where is my niece?” he wondered, his lips stretching into a smile, and Hayley smiled back.

“She’s in her room playing. I’ll get her. But,” she paused, and reached to cup his cheek gently, “are you sure you’re okay? Because, if you’re not, it’s okay, I don’t- I don’t want to pressure you or anything,” she finally said, rambling anxiously, and bit her lip as she stared into his eyes.

Elijah leaned into her touch, and said softly, “I am sure I’m okay, Hayley. Thank you for your concern, but I promise you I am fine. And,” he paused, “I want to meet her. She’s my niece and I want to meet her,” he added more firmly. “I promise you, I’m okay. I won’t break.”

Hayley couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, “okay, I believe you. Thank you,” she said, and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away. “I’ll be right back,” she added as she went to Hope’s room. Her daughter was coloring on her bed, and Hayley smiled as she leaned against the doorframe. “Knock knock,” she said softly, knocking gently on the wood, and Hope looked up with a grin.

“Hi!” Hope beamed.

“Well, Hope, get up. There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” she said, and Hope squealed excitedly as she scrambled off the bed.

“He’s here?” she asked with a giddy grin.

“Like you didn’t know. C’mon, Little Miss, you’re not that smooth,” she said with a chuckle.

“Well, I wanted to give you guys some privacy, mommy,” she rolled her eyes theatrically and flashed Hayley a knowing grin.

“Now, where did you get all that sass, baby girl?” Hayley wondered rhetorically.

“From you!” Hope said cheerfully. Hayley just rolled her eyes and chuckled before extending her hand, taking Hope’s in hers and leading her to the dining area.

Elijah smiled as soon as he spotted them, and pulled something from behind him. No, not something. It was gray, medium-sized bunny. Hope’s entire expression lit up upon seeing it, and she glanced over to Hayley, who nudged her gently, before walking over to him.

“Hello,” he said softly, crouched down to her level and smiled at Hope.

“Hi!” Hope exclaimed in greeting. “I’m Hope!” she introduced herself eagerly, and extended a hand towards him. Elijah chuckled, amused, but shook her hand.

“I’m- I’m Elijah. It’s good to finally meet you, Hope,” he said, still smiling. “And, this is for you,” he added, handing her the bunny, and Hope let out a squeal of delight.

“Oh my God! A bunny!” she exclaimed as she took it from his hand. “I love it! Thank you, Uncle Elijah!” she continued, and then she threw herself at Elijah, wrapping her arms around his neck. Elijah certainly didn’t expect it, and he sat there for a few seconds before he finally returned the hug. He looked up over Hope’s shoulder, and met her gaze. But, despite his smile, his eyes were filled with tears, and Hayley’s heart clenched slightly as she flashed him a comforting smile. Then, she grabbed her phone and snapped a photo, capturing the moment. Finally, Hope pulled away, and hugged the bunny while Elijah turned away briefly, and Hayley noticed him wipe his eyes.

“Okay, you two. Let’s go eat before the food gets cold,” Hayley said half-nervously, half trying to distract Elijah, and he flashed her a grateful smile.

“Yes, let’s eat. This looks delicious, Hayley,” Elijah said in agreement as the three of them walked over to the table. Hope sat down first, and Hayley moved to the middle seat, but before she could pull the chair, Elijah did it for her. She gave him a look, but sat down anyway and let him be a gentleman because she had a feeling she might have to get used to it. Then, he took a seat on her other side.

Elijah poured them water from the jug Hayley had set on the table, then paused once he’d filled her glass.

Taking advantage of Hope being distracted momentarily, he leaned closer to her to whisper, “you know you can drink if you want to, Hayley.”

Hayley blushed, “I, uh, I just- I wasn’t sure…” she mumbled, embarrassed.

“Hayley, I’m fine, I promise,” he said softy into her before pressing his lips to her temple lightly. She nodded, and stood up, going to the fridge to grab the opened bottle of Sauvignon Blanc she had, and poured herself a glass before putting the bottle back. She returned to the table, and grabbed the bowl of pasta, serving Hope, who made a face, then herself before passing it to Elijah.

“Thank you, this looks and smells wonderful,” he said with a grateful smile.

“Mommy?” Hope piped up, turning to face her.

“Yeah, baby girl?”

“Why didn’t you make Spaghetti Bolognese?” she asked, pouting. Elijah stilled for a second before taking a bite of the bruschetta, and looked from Hayley to Hope while Hayley pursed her lips and felt herself flush slightly.

“Um, because Uncle Elijah is a vegetarian,” she said, and watched Hope’s eyes widen, then her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What’s a… uh, vegetarian?” Hope wondered, still looking confused between her and Elijah. Elijah chuckled.

“Well, Hope, it means I only eat vegetables, dairy like cheese and milk. Technically, I guess I am more of a pescatarian because I eat fish, too. Sorry, Hayley, I should’ve mentioned this to you,” he said. She smiled at him.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Hope’s eaten pasta with pesto before, right, sweetie?”

“Yeah, but I _like_ Spaghetti Bolognese,” her daughter sassed, and pouted, blinking her bright blue eyes rapidly.

“Sorry, Hope,” Elijah said quickly, instantly apologetic.

“Don’t apologize, Elijah. Hope loves pasta in general, and she doesn’t mind, do you, sweetie?” Hayley said sweetly, giving her daughter a pointed look. Hope’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Fine,” she muttered dramatically, and paused for effect, “I’ll endure it,” she declared. Hayley rolled her eyes while Elijah snickered quietly, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle herself.

“Okay, Miss Smarty-Pants, why don’t you try it first?” she quipped. Hope did, and made a delighted sound.

“Mommy! This is so yummy!” she exclaimed once she’d swallowed. “I love it!”

“I’m glad,” Hayley said with a triumphant smirk before they all resumed eating. Once they were done, Elijah helped her clean the table while Hope set the small plates and forks for desert.

“You really didn’t have to go all this way,” Elijah said as she pulled out the desert from the fridge.

She smiled, “it’s okay, Elijah, I honestly don’t mind,” she said softly. “I, uh, I wanted to do this…” she trailed off, blushing slightly.

“Well, thank you,” he smiled as he reached to touch her arm lightly. “It was really nice, Hayley,” he added, and they exchanged a quick, sweet kiss. Hayley pulled away, then set the desert on the table and made a fresh pot of tea to go with it before the three of them sat down once again, and Hayley couldn’t help but smile as she watched Elijah and Hope try to decide on which desert to try first.

“Liar,” she muttered, though she was more amused than irritated.

“Excuse me?” Elijah stared at her, but she could see a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“You said you don’t have a sweet tooth. That is very obviously not true, Mr. Health Nut,” she remarked, and Elijah chuckled while Hope giggled.

“Caught me, Dr. Marshall,” he quipped, smirking.

“Nice try, though,” she retorted, and chuckled, amused herself.

“Mommy, I’m done. Can I go play?” Hope asked once she polished off the chocolate tart from her plate.

“Of course you can, sweetie,” Hayley said, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as Hope passed by on her way to her room. Once Elijah and Hayley had finished their own deserts, they cleaned the table silently, though completely in sync and loaded the rest of the dishes into the dishwasher before going to sit on the couch in the living room.

“Well, this was amazing, Hayley,” Elijah mused as they sank down onto the couch. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming, Elijah. Really,” she paused, and swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous again. “It, uh, it meant a lot… and, not just to Hope,” she added.

“It meant a lot to me, too,” he said, his voice a little hoarse. “She’s, uh, she’s an amazing kid. And, you’re an amazing mother,” he added, and she could see tears in his eyes, could hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“She is. She’s the perfect little girl,” she said softly. And then, he cupped the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair, and he crashed his lips to hers. She melted in his arms and returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping one hand around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair. Their tongues tangled together for a few more seconds before air became a necessity and they pulled away, but Elijah rested his forehead against hers, and she rubbed her nose against his. Then, she pulled away and he wrapped one arm around her, and she pressed herself against him, resting her head on his shoulders.

“Elijah?” she mumbled softly.

“Hmm?”

“You were pretty amazing with her, too.”


	12. You Heard the Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rumor mill at St. John's reaches Hayley and puts a wrench in her and Elijah's budding relationship. Meanwhile, Meredith's attitude towards Elijah comes to ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of short, filler chapter, but this chapter leads to the following chapters, so I hope you enjoy!  
> xx

Since she’d come to New Orleans and started at St. John’s, Hayley hadn’t exactly had a _good_ weekend. [That was possibly because she was either on shift, finishing a shift on Saturday, or starting it on Sunday. She hadn’t exactly had a free weekend to spend with her daughter, and this weekend had been even better because she also got to spend it with Elijah. Oh, she was probably falling for him, and she knew that it could crash and burn, but also he just made her feel so good, and he was so kind, and caring. And, she knew she had to tell him about Jackson. But, a part of her didn’t want to drag him into her mess because he would get hurt, or he’d get scared and run, and the other part of her just didn’t want to lose him. Because she certainly would]. So, Hayley was actually pretty happy about going to work on Monday, and she dropped Hope off at school without much of a fight from the seven-year-old before going into work. She got through rounds without so much as seeing Elijah, then was assigned to Meredith’s service, and she soon realized that Meredith Fell was becoming one of her least favorite doctors at St. John’s.

She had just finished completing a chart, and her mind had automatically drifted to the weekend, and in particular Elijah when she was pulled out of her reverie by none other than Kol Mikaelson.

“So, I heard that almost my entire family has met my niece except for me,” he said without preamble as he leaned against the nurses’ desk and Hayley turned to face him.

“Well, hello to you, too, Kol,” she said with a chuckle. “Did you have a good weekend?” she asked him, her tone mocking.

“Terrific,” he replied sarcastically, flashing her a smirk. “So,” he drawled, “when do I get to meet my niece?”

“Whenever you want, Kol,” she rolled her eyes. “I-” Hayley was stopped from continuing by her pager beeping. It was an incoming. She turned to Kol, “sorry, I gotta go, Kol. But, like I said, you can meet Hope whenever you want,” she told him.

“That sounds like a plan,” Kol said, and opened his mouth to add something more, but Hayley really needed to go.

“I seriously have to go, Kol,” she said again, more firmly this time. And then, she turned around and took off in the direction of the E.R., not even bothering with the elevator, fixing her hair as she ran down the stairs. Meredith Fell was already in the ambulance bay when Hayley arrived, fumbling with her gown.

“Marshall, thanks for joining,” she snapped, but came over to Hayley to tie her gown.

Just when Meredith finished, the ambulance pulled in, and halted in front of them, and the once-again familiar paramedic hopped out.

“What do we have?” Hayley asked, but as soon as she saw the patient, she all but gasped, and kicked herself. Meredith flashed her a glare, and Hayley had to remind herself not to stare. _Except, the dude had a piece of rebar through his head._

“Forty-six-year-old Jason Lee was driving when he hit a truck transporting a load of rebars. Piece of rebar went through his skull. GCS of 13, basically conscious, though he is experiencing some stiffness in the neck,” she reported.

“Alright, let’s take him inside to trauma 2,” Meredith ordered, and they all wheeled the patient in to the trauma bay, a flurry of nurses and interns following after them.

“Okay, let’s transfer him, but don’t change his position,” Hayley ordered. “One, two, three!” she yelled, and they all transferred him onto the trauma bay. “Okay, let’s get a full blood panel and tox screen,” she continued.

“And, take him in for an X-ray and a CT,” Meredith ordered. “Check for paralysis and get an ortho consult for the spine,” she added.

“Hey, Mr. Lee?” Hayley said as she stood at the end of the bed.

“Yeah?” he groaned.

“Can you wiggle your toes?” she requested, and he did as told. “Good. Now, can you feel this?” she asked, and touched the tip of her pen to his sole.

“Yeah,” he said, still groaning.

“Good.” She moved to his side, and rested her palm against his. “Okay, squeeze my hand,” she requested. He complied. “Very good. Now, do you feel this?” she said and pricked his palm with her pen.

“Yeah. But, my neck hurts,” he groaned, though his words sounded slightly slurred, too.

“Well, you don’t seem to have any paralysis, but we still need to get your scans before we clear you, and then we need to get that rebar out,” she said, flashing him a smile. “Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine,” she said. “Okay, let’s get Mr. Lee to Radiology!” she ordered, and immediately nurses and orderlies grabbed the trauma bed and began rolling him out.

“Okay, Marshall. Once you get those scans, send the patient to the O.R. Meet me with the scans, okay?” Meredith said, and Hayley nodded. The neurosurgeon turned and left.

* * *

Hayley spotted Elijah as soon as she finished getting the patient’s scans, and she rushed over to him, her lips stretching into a smile, and she couldn’t help but let her gaze drift over his scrub-clad figure. Scrubs didn’t typically look good on anyone, but Elijah Mikaelson somehow made them look good. He was holding his scrub cap in one hand and his lab coat was draped over his arm, which meant he probably just got out of surgery, and his dark hair was disheveled, and Hayley wanted to run her hands through it.

“Boy am I glad to see you,” she said as soon as she was within earshot, and he turned and smiled at her.

“Hey,” he smiled. “Did you need me?”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly, her hand brushing against his. “In a professional capacity. I need you for a consult. Dude got a piece of rebar through his skull, and Dr. Fell is going to remove it, but he’s also got a stiff neck, so she’s worried about spinal injury. Did an X-ray, and need you to take a look,” she informed him.

“Good morning to you, too, Dr. Marshall,” Elijah said, and chuckled in amusement.

“Good morning, Dr. Mikaelson,” she licked her lips, and her gaze flickered to his lips briefly before she looked up once again and met his gaze. Elijah smirked.

“Dr. Marshall, I believe you said you needed me for a consult?” he quipped, his eyes shining with amusement as his fingers brushed against hers.

“Well,” she swallowed, and shivered, her pulse quickening, “yes…” whispered hoarsely. _But, I wouldn’t mind us doing something else,_ she mused to herself, but she reminded herself that they were at work.

“Then let’s go take a look at those scans,” he said, smirking, and she chuckled, shaking her head before following him to the X-ray viewing room.

“You’re in a good mood,” she observed as she positioned the films.

Elijah flashed her another smile, “I am,” he said softly, and his dark brown eyes locked with hers briefly as he came to stand beside her. Elijah then averted his gaze and looked at the films, though he still stood impossibly close to her, his fingers occasionally brushing against her wrist, making her shiver, and she could feel his breath on her neck. _Gods, this man is killing me,_ she groaned to herself as her heart beat faster, and her breath hitched in her throat when Elijah leaned closer to her.

“Elijah,” she muttered in a hoarse whisper as she reached for his hand, her fingers brushing against his palm.

Elijah swallowed, and became still for a moment, then pulled his hand away. “Hayley, I- I can’t,” he whispered softly even though there was no one else in the room.

“Why?”

“We’re at work. We must be professional at work, Dr. Marshall,” he said like it was obvious, and turned slightly towards her. But, Hayley only got more turned on by him calling her Dr. Marshall.

“Oh, come on, Elijah,” she said in a breathless whisper. “There is no one in here, and if you really want some privacy, we could always go to an on-call room,” she added, tilting her head slightly so their faces were merely inches from each other.

He shook his head, and stepped back, and Hayley’s heart clenched in disappointment and hurt, but she tried not to show it.

“I told you, Hayley, I just can’t. Not right now. I- I told you I might need… uh, time…” he trailed off, and she nodded in understanding. He cleared his throat, “and, I- could we please keep our relationship private?” he said, and he tried to flash her a smile, but it was more of a grimace.

Hayley bit her lip. That hadn’t exactly occurred to her because with his siblings working at the same hospital, the news was bound to become public, she was sure, and she’d accepted it. “Why?” she asked.

“I just- I’d like to wait until we make it public knowledge,” he said softly. And then, something seemed to occur to him, and he licked his lips nervously, “unless… Hayley, is this a problem for you?” he wondered, sounding nervous, and averted his gaze to the floor.

“No, of course not,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “It’s- it’s not a problem for me, Elijah. I just- I guess I just assumed, but sure,” she shrugged, but Elijah’s expression fell. Hayley sighed, and reached to cup his cheek, not caring if anyone entered the room anymore. Elijah stilled, and moved to pull away, but she didn’t let him, and she tilted his head so he would look at her. “Elijah,” she whispered slowly, “hey, it’s okay. It’s not a problem for me. I don’t mind, really.”

“Hayley,” he paused, his own voice barely above a whisper as if he didn’t trust himself, “are you certain? Because if this is a deal breaker for you, I-” he started, but she cut him off by bringing her finger to his lips, effectively shutting him up.

“Elijah, it’s not a deal breaker for me, I swear. It’s okay,” she said softly. Then, her lips curved into a small smirk, “it’ll be our little secret,” she quipped, and he chuckled, relaxing easily.

“Sounds like a plan, Dr. Marshall,” he muttered against her finger. Then, he kissed it gently, and Hayley pulled away, relieved that no one had seen them. “Now, let’s go find Dr. Fell. I need to get this patient to an O.R. and do a spinal decompression before he becomes completely paralyzed,” Elijah said, and grabbed the films before opening the door, holding it open for her. Hayley just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, joy,” Hayley muttered to herself, but Elijah heard her, and he gave her a concerned look. 

“Do you not like Dr. Fell?” he wondered.

“Well, I might like her more if she wasn’t so…” she paused, trying to find the right word, “I mean, does she always have such an amazing bedside manner? Why is she even a doctor?” she wondered, shaking her head with a scoff.

Elijah sighed, “well, she is a bitch,” he said, and Hayley couldn’t help but be surprised at him using such a crass word. “Personally, I wouldn’t want her touching me, but she is good at what she does. She isn’t youngest Head of Neurosurgery for no reason,” he told her, and she nodded. “There’s nobody I would trust more with someone I care about,” he added just as they reached the O.R. floor, and a nurse directed them to O.R. 3 for the surgery. Meredith was already scrubbing in.

“Ah, Marshall, thank God you’re here. I was going to page someone else,” Meredith said as soon as they entered. Hayley began tying her scrub cap and mask while Meredith finished scrubbing, and turned to face Elijah. “Elijah, good to see you. Some old fashioned stupidity. Got a tox screen for our patient, and his alcohol levels were through the roof. Makes sense. No sober person would get a piece of rebar through their skull,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes, and Hayley noticed Elijah visibly flinched.

Hayley glanced at Elijah nervously, but he said nothing.

“I just don’t understand people who do this,” the neurosurgeon shook her head disdainfully. “One bad day and you become dependent on alcohol and screw up your life-”

“-Dr. Fell, is this really necessary?” Elijah wondered, his voice tense, but Meredith ignored him.

“I bet his liver is a mess. But, then he might end up brain dead and not care at all-” Meredith mused, and Hayley bristled, flashing Elijah another nervous look, but he was just tying his scrub cap and mask.

Hayley cleared her throat, “all due respect, Dr. Fell, but we’re surgeons. Our job is to save lives, not gossip like this,” she all but snapped, and both Meredith and Elijah stared at her, though she could see a hint of gratitude and appreciation in Elijah’s gaze.

“Excuse me, Marshall?” Meredith snapped, her eyes wide with shock. “I would watch your tone when speaking to an attending-” she started, but Elijah cut her off.

“Meredith, shut up!” he snapped as he stood straighter. “This man has a disease, and that caused the accident, but we can save his life. And, maybe he can turn it around. But, it is not on us to pass judgement, so stop-”

“Look who’s talking,” she scoffed, and Elijah froze.

“Excuse me, do you have a problem with me, Meredith?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yes, actually!” she snapped, and Hayley’s eyes widened in shock. “I have a problem with drunks. Because they tend to make mistakes that screw their lives and the lives of those around them. And, I know you’re currently sober, but I know how this works… you could fall off the wagon at any time. So, yes, I do have a problem with you, Elijah,” she yelled, and finished scrubbing.

Elijah’s shoulders slumped. “Well, then…” he paused, and sighed heavily, “I’ll page Aya.” 

Hayley’s shoulders slumped, and she opened her mouth to say something, but closed it. Meredith, on the other hand, just nodded, but Hayley could sense she was pleased.

“Good. Let’s go, Marshall,” she said, and turned to walk through the automatic doors leading into the O.R.

Hayley had finished scrubbing, but she didn’t follow after Meredith, and instead turned to face Elijah. She opened her mouth, ready to say something, anything, but he stopped her.

“Hayley, I’m fine. Just go,” he all but snapped emotionlessly, his gaze hard. Hayley flinched, but nodded, and turned, entering the O.R.

* * *

Elijah had just finished getting some scans in Radiology and was going back to the E.R. to his patient, a young woman who had fallen and shattered her leg and dislocated her shoulder when she fell from a ladder. It could’ve been so much worse, and Elijah was glad she didn’t have any head injuries. He was almost certain that if he had to spend any more time with Meredith Fell, he was going to lose it. He hadn’t exactly stopped thinking about what happened in the scrub room all day no matter how much he had tried to distract himself. [He had to admit it had hurt. Especially because Meredith Fell didn’t have a personal issue, or at least this particular issue wasn’t personal. No, Meredith didn’t trust him in the O.R., and that was somehow worse. She might not have said the words, but he had felt them, and he’d decided to make it easier on them both by pulling out of surgery and instead went to the E.R.].

“Elijah!” He turned at the sound of Hayley’s voice, relief coursing through him when he noticed she was alone, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh. Hey,” he said softly.

“Can we talk?” she asked, and there was a nervous edge to her voice, but there was something else. He could hear a slight accusation in her tone, too, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that was all about.

“Of course,” he said, and looked around to make sure no one would notice. The last thing he needed was for Hayley to be lumped in with Aya and Gia, his only two transgressions since he’d arrived at St. John’s, and for the rumors to start. He wouldn’t stand for it because Hayley Marshall didn’t deserve it and she was so much more than just a one-nightstand. She was everything he never knew he needed, and he knew she was too good for him and he didn’t deserve her, but he couldn’t let her go. Not anymore. He opened the door to the nearest conference, and ushered Hayley in, grateful that no one else was inside. “What is it?” he asked as soon as he locked the door and turned to her. Hayley’s eyebrows knitted together furiously, and she pursed her lips, and Elijah had the sinking feeling that this conversation they were about to have wasn’t going to be pleasant.

She cleared her throat, and leaned against the table behind her, bracing herself against it, and took a deep breath. “Why?” she finally said, and Elijah furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his tone still even, slightly confused. He took a small step towards her, part of him wanting to simply reach for her and kiss her to distract her from whatever she was upset about, but he didn’t do that. When Hayley said nothing, he sighed, “Hayley, I can see you are upset. Whatever it is, you have to tell me, I am here,” he said gently, his eyes locked with hers, but her beautiful hazel eyes gave no indication as to what was going on. He swallowed, “is it- is it Meredith?” he wondered. He was aware it was unlikely, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

“No,” she all but snapped, and Elijah stared at her, taken aback.

“Then, what is it? Whatever it is, Hayley, you can tell me, you know that,” he said calmly, but this only seemed to infuriate her more because she glared at him.

“Why do you want to keep us a secret, Elijah?” she finally said, more like demanded. His shoulders slumped, and his face fell. He opened his mouth to say something, but Hayley continued, “I mean, your siblings who all know about us to an extent work here. And, it’s not really that big of a deal if people knew. I’ve got nothing to hide.” Then, more quietly she added, “but, apparently you do.” Elijah flinched, but tried not to show how much her words hurt. [He’d never expected this. After all, she’d been so understanding when he’d asked that they go slow, and then earlier when he asked that they don’t go public. And, every time she’d reassured in a very sweet and adorable way that all his fears, his insecurities, his damage weren’t a deal breaker for her. But, maybe that wasn’t entirely true].

“Hayley, forgive me, but I- I thought you were fine with that. I thought- you said it wasn’t a problem for you, that keeping this – us – private wasn’t a deal breaker for you,” he said, and despite how calm he tried to sound, he could hear the edge of emotion in his own voice.

Hayley pursed her lips, “yeah, you’re right. I did. But, that was before I heard about Aya!” she snapped, and Elijah swallowed as he looked up to meet her gaze, but she looked away, shaking her head. “You two were involved?” she demanded.

“That was- that was nothing,” he said, attempting to sound calm, but Hayley’s words and attitude hurt, and his voice had an edge to it.

“Really? Nothing?” she raised her eyebrows incredulously. “And, apparently you slept with Gia, too,” she added. But, before Elijah could try to explain himself, she continued, “which- I never thought you were that kind of guy, Elijah! I mean, Klaus, sure. But, you?” she almost shouted, glaring at him angrily, but he could see another emotion in her eyes, one that mirrored the look in his eyes. _Hurt_. “I guess this doesn’t mean as much to you as I thought,” she added, and she didn’t sound sad, or angry. She sounded disappointed, which was somehow worse.

“Hayley, listen to me, I can- I can explain, I-” he started, his voice shaking slightly, but she cut him off.

“No, of course it doesn’t. Not when you’re still into them and you’re just keeping your options open!” she retorted, and despite her angry tone, her lower lip trembled slightly, and her eyes were glassy with tears that threatened to spill. But, Elijah could no longer keep calm because she had struck a nerve.

“Keeping my options open? What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded incredulously, his tone rising. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, and shut his eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of his nose before opening them once more. “Hayley, please if you would just let me explain,” he added in a more pleading, almost desperate tone, but she ignored him, shaking her head and pursing her lips.

“Explain what, Elijah? Explain what happened with Aya or Gia? Or, explain that you still have a thing for either them-” she bit back, scowling as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“I do not have a thing for either of them!” he snapped angrily, his heart hammering in his chest, and she flinched visibly, so he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. “Listen, Hayley, I-” he started more quietly, though his voice shook with emotion, but Hayley cut him off, shaking her head.

“So, then what? Why aren’t you going public about us if you don’t have a thing for them?” Her voice was less loud this time, and her shoulders slumped in defeat, and Elijah could see from the way her lower lip trembled despite her biting it and the way her eyes were filled with tears that she was trying not to cry. And, all he wanted was to take her in his arms, hug her tightly and take away her pain no matter how much she had hurt him. Something seemed to occur to her because her eyes widened in realization. “A- are you ashamed of me?” she practically hissed, glaring at him, and Elijah flinched as he felt the sting of hurt along with the anger coursing through him.

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you!” he all but snapped incredulously, but Hayley just shook her head, and took a step towards him, and his heart hammered in his chest.

“So, then why does it feel that way? Like I’m your dirty little secret?” Her words came out in a hoarse whisper as she continued to stare into his eyes, as if searching for something, her eyes glassy with unshed tears, and Elijah could feel tears prickle at his own eyes. But, after a few long seconds, her shoulders slumped in defeat and she just shook her head sadly. No, not just sadly or angrily. She was disappointed. Elijah opened his mouth to say something, but she didn’t let him, just shook her head. And then, she turned around and left, slamming the door behind her, leaving Elijah standing in the middle of the conference room, his mind spinning as he tried to understand what had just happened, his heart breaking.

* * *

Hayley sighed as she leaned against the catwalk rail, and felt tears sting at the corners of her eyes. After storming out of the conference room, she’d barely made it to a supply closet before she broke down. Thank God nobody was in that closet, or needed it because she wasn’t sure she could face anyone at that point, especially a Mikaelson. Not after she had let a few rumors ruin things with Elijah. Because she was sure he would want nothing to do with her, not after what happened. Gods, how could she have been so stupid? It wasn’t even that St. John’s didn’t have its own rumor mill, but Hayley had never really expected to get caught in it. Even if she did, it would have been because of Klaus, not Elijah. But, the rumors she _had_ heard had been about Elijah. And, despite everything she knew about Elijah, despite how good he was, how kind he was, she couldn’t help but doubt him.

“Hayley, I-” She’d felt him, felt his presence beside her, their fingers almost brushed, and Hayley sighed heavily, but didn’t say anything. Elijah continued, “Hayley, please, let me- let me explain,” he said softly, and she could hear the pain in his voice, the guilt, and her stomach twisted, her heart clenching, and a small part of her felt guilty, but she pushed it down. Elijah, too, turned away from her, resting one hand on the catwalk as he looked ahead. 

“What do you want Elijah?” she snapped, turning to face him again, scowling. Elijah turned, too, and met her gaze. The pain in his eyes sent a chill down Hayley’s spine, and she winced. Rationally, she knew she shouldn’t be this angry without even hearing him out, but being angry was easier than admitting to her own insecurities. “You wanna explain?” she bit back instead. “Explain what? What could you possibly say that-” But Hayley was cut off by Elijah’s lips on hers as his hand cupped the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair, and at first she didn’t move. But then, she deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his, and Elijah’s tongue slipped into her mouth. Their tongues tangled for a few seconds, and Elijah bit her lip lightly before pulling away slowly, pressing his lips to hers once more, before fully pulling away, though he still cradled her head in his hand, his thumb gently brushing against her jaw. Hayley met his gaze as whistles, shouts and clapping exploded around her.

Someone shouted, “damn!” Hayley thought it sounded like Kol.

Someone else shouted, “about bloody time!” That sounded like Klaus. But, Hayley didn’t care if the entire hospital saw them. Hell, Celeste, Gia and Aya could be watching, Hayley didn’t give a damn.

“You are not my dirty little secret,” Elijah muttered softly, the words somehow sounding twisted coming from him. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her, resting his finger against her lips. “Hayley, please… y- you mean so much to me. You are the real thing,” he added, his voice shaking with emotion. He took a deep, but shaky breath, “I- I let you in, Hayley. I don’t let people in,” he said, sounding choked. “So, please, believe me… this is real for me, and there is no one else. There is only you,” he added in a hoarse whisper, and Hayley’s heart was racing. Slowly, she reached and cupped his jaw, and tilted her head, her nose brushing against his.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his lips. And then, she kissed him. It was a slow, lingering sort of kiss and Hayley tried to convey everything she felt for him in it. Elijah pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, and their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before Hayley slowly pulled away as the hollers, whistles and clapping from their colleagues rang in her ears.

“Okay, I think we’ve put on quite the show, Dr. Mikaelson,” she quipped breathlessly against his lip as she brushed her nose against his.

“Yes, it would certainly seem so,” Elijah smirked as he rested one hand on her hip. She nodded, chuckling, her lips curving into a half-smile. After a few seconds, Elijah took her hand in his, “come on, I think we do need to talk about something,” he said, and she nodded, letting him lead her outside for some much-needed privacy. “Sorry, I would have done this in an on-call room, but just about everyone was watching us. If I took you there, the rumor mill would just get worse,” he said once they’d both sat down on a slightly more secluded bench. Hayley furrowed her brow in confusion for a second before she nodded slowly in understanding.

“Right,” she chuckled nervously. “So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked, glancing over at him.

Elijah’s gaze flickered to her, shyly, and he took a deep breath, “I wanted to explain, if you’ll let me,” he said slowly.

“Okay,” she nodded, and flashed him a smile.

“There isn’t much to it, really,” he started, turning slightly towards her. “Aya and I knew each other before, though nothing happened back then because I was married to Katherine. But, when I came back, and she’s head of Ortho, I just- I guess I just needed to feel something, and we-” he cut himself off, and Hayley noticed he was slightly flushed.

“You had sex?” she supplied, and Elijah bowed his head, nodding.

“In her office, once. And then, I told her I couldn’t have a relationship, I wasn’t- I wasn’t in the right headspace. So, we remained professional,” he said with a sigh.

“Elijah, it’s okay, really. I- I overreacted before. We’re both adults, and we’ve all got pasts. I never thought you were a saint before I got here, I just- it was just hard to hear about it through the rumor mill,” she confessed, and pursed her lips. Elijah nodded. “A- and, Gia?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Gia was another little transgression of mine right after I came back. We flirted a bit working together, which led to us meeting in an on-call room after. But, like I said, I-” he cut himself off, and sighed, “I was a mess when I came back, Hayley. Gia and I just decided it was for the best to just end things, leave it be a one-time thing. But, I suppose things still made their way through the rumor mill. Which was I didn’t want people to know about us,” he said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“I just- I don’t want you lumped in with them in the rumor mill, Hayley,” he admitted, and licked his lips nervously.

“Oh,” she muttered, immediately feeling guilty. “Elijah, I- I really am sorry for overreacting,” she said softly, apologetically. She reached for his hand, and laced her fingers with his, squeezing it lightly. Elijah flashed her a small smile.

“It’s okay. I forgive you,” he said. “You were wrong about something else, too. My options are hardly open with two, possibly three siblings who would murder me if I hurt you,” he told her, and she couldn’t help but chuckle. “And, I would let them,” he added after a few more moments of silence. “Because I wouldn’t forgive myself if I ever hurt you, Hayley,” he admitted, and Hayley was speechless. She scooted closer to him, and bowed her head slightly, and Elijah pressed his lips to her forehead gently, and she smiled, letting out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. 


	13. Today Was a Fairytale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few stressful shifts, Elijah and Hayley finally go on their first date.

The rest of Hayley’s shift went fairly smoothly, and despite Elijah being on-call the next evening, they still went for dinner at the diner after Hayley picked Hope up from school. Hayley managed to forget all about the rumor mill too, but that only lasted until her next shift, and sometimes Hayley felt like hiding in a supply closet for the rest of it. Thankfully, she wasn’t on Meredith’s service, but unfortunately she was put on Klaus. And, Klaus Mikaelson her boss was something else.

“That bad, huh?” Cami said as Hayley slammed her lunch, coffee and a bagel sandwich, onto the table before plopping down into the seat beside her friend ungracefully. [She would’ve had lunch with the other residents, but the residents’ and interns’ tables tended to be rampant with gossip, and she wasn’t particularly fond of the feeling that everyone would be talking when she wasn’t at the table despite pretending otherwise when she was. Besides, she _liked_ Cami].

“Kill me now,” Hayley said as soon as she sat down. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s worse. Marcel and the rest of the fifth years are off taking their boards, which means that we’re the most senior residents. Which, somehow gives attendings the right to torture us. I kid you not, Cami, it is torture! And, I got put on Klaus’ service. And, trust me, it’s not personal. Personally, we get along aside from the fact that he’s pretending Hope doesn’t exist whenever he’s around me. But, you know, even when ya hate him…” she trailed off, rolling her eyes. Cami chuckled, amused. 

“Oh, I know. Trust me,” the blonde psych attending quipped. “It’s a very common feeling,” she grinned, and Hayley shook her head.

“Anyways, Klaus is torturing me while I have to deal with the fact that now that Elijah and I are public people are talking about us. Suddenly, I feel bad for pretty much forcing Elijah to go public with our relationship,” she continued, and took a bite of her bagel. Cami merely nodded patiently, but didn’t say anything, letting Hayley continue to vent. “And, I haven’t even seen my boyfriend yet because his brother has decided to make me run all over the hospital,” she groaned, and Cami reached across to rub her shoulder gently.

“You poor thing,” Cami cooed, slightly mockingly, though Hayley knew she meant well. “Just drink your coffee and eat your bagel. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to date someone at this hospital. I mean, you have no idea how much gossip used to go around here when Klaus and I started dating. Most of it really mean. But, people got bored, and moved onto something else. Don’t worry, by the time you start your fifth year as resident, all of this will be forgotten,” she said with a knowing smile. “And, don’t feel bad about forcing Elijah to go public with this, trust me, the man didn’t do something he _really_ didn’t want to do. He cares about you Hayley, and he hated seeing you so hurt,” Cami told her gently, and Hayley nodded. “Besides, while such a public display of affection might have been a little out of his comfort zone, it did him some good, too,” she added, flashing her another knowing smile.

“Thanks,” the brunette muttered before taking another sip of her coffee. “Honestly, this is probably just all this stress. Because, to add on top of everything, they’re choosing next year’s Chief Resident,” she added with a heavy sigh before taking another bite of her bagel.

“You in the running?” Cami asked curiously.

“If Klaus doesn’t kill me by the end of today, yes,” she retorted, and Cami snorted. “Oh, and apparently they’re giving fourth year another shot at a solo surgery. Because, we don’t have enough on our plates,” she added.

Cami just shook her head, “Hayley, honey, just relax,” she said sweetly, patting her back gently. “Everything’s going to be fine, trust me. Just focus on not pissing Klaus off, because, trust me, that’s going to go a long way in you getting Chief Resident and the solo surgery,” she told her, and Hayley nodded, smiling a little before she finished her bagel and was sipping her coffee. “And, as for the rumors, just ignore them. It’s all just noise because none of them actually matter, okay?” she added as she finished her own sandwich, smiling at her and rubbing her shoulder in comfort, and Hayley returned the smile.

“Thanks, Cami,” Hayley said gratefully.

“No problem. This is kind of my thing, you know,” the blonde quipped. “By the way, have you and Elijah been on a proper date yet?” she wondered, and winked.

“Nope. Elijah said he’d ask me in advance and go the full nine yards,” Hayley replied, smiling fondly. “I have to admit, I’m kind of getting impatient,” she added, and Cami chuckled, shaking her head.

“That’s very sweet of him. I remember my first date with Klaus,” she said, smiling fondly. “We were sort of dating by the time he actually asked me out. I was so nervous, too, because I knew everything about him, but he barely knew me. But, he was such a gentleman, and so patient, which I know doesn’t really sound like Klaus,” she told her, and Hayley couldn’t help but coo. “We went to this art show, and had dinner afterwards. And, I realized that Klaus Mikaelson might be a bit of an ass, but his such a softie deep down, he’s just scared to let other people see it. I think that’s when I knew I was in love with him, but I didn’t tell him until way later,” she said with a smile.

“That’s so adorable,” Hayley commented with a smile. “And, doesn’t really sound like Klaus, but obviously you know a very different Klaus,” she added with a chuckle. She was about to say something else when her pager beeped, and she checked to find it was Klaus. “And, speak of the devil, I’m being paged,” she groaned. “Well, this was nice, Cami. Thanks,” she said as the two of them got up.

“No problem,” Cami smiled at her. “Now go, I’ll see you later,” she added, shoving her in the direction of the E.R. Hayley just laughed and waved before she took off towards the E.R.

* * *

Hayley found Klaus in the E.R., leaning against the nurses’ desk, drumming his fingers on it impatiently.

“Finally! Dr. Marshall, thank you for joining,” he said by way of greeting when he spotted her.

“Hello to you, too, Klaus,” Hayley quipped, rolling her eyes. “What’s up?” she asked as Klaus straightened.

“Come on, we have a consult,” he announced, smirking slightly which sent chills down Hayley’s spine, and she sighed as she followed him to one of the beds while looking over the patient chart. “Dr. Marshall, this is Annie Grant. Annie, this is Dr. Marshall, she’s going to be assisting me today. Annie was my patient a while ago, but she came back to the E.R. complaining of abdominal pains in the right upper quadrant and slight jaundice. So, how do we proceed?” [The patient in question was a sixty-six-year-old woman, her gray hair pulled away from her face, her deep brown eyes looking at Hayley behind round glasses].

“Well, she’s new,” Annie quipped, seeming amused, though Hayley wasn’t sure why.

“She is. But, she is very good,” Klaus quipped, smirking. “So, Dr. Marshall, what is our approach?”

“Right, uh…” Hayley trailed off and paused while Klaus and the patient looked at her expectantly. She cleared her throat, and continued, “let’s order a CBC and take her in for a CT,” she said, and Klaus nodded.

“Good approach, Dr. Marshall. However, since Annie was my patient before for removal of some benign tumors, we’re actually going to take her in for a minimally invasive ex-lap,” he told her.

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it be smarter to get labs and a CT before we go in for the exploratory laparoscopy?” she wondered.

“No, this is a much better approach,” Klaus said tensely, before pulling her aside, asking a nurse to draw the woman’s blood. “Look, I’m sure you’re used to questioning decisions, but you’re on my service today. And, I say ex-lap. That poor woman has already been through hell, and since she’s already had tumors removed, I’m not going to count on a CT and bloodwork. I need to be sure, alright? I’m not going to call her family for no bloody reason!” he hissed angrily. Hayley sighed in defeat.

“Right. Got it,” she muttered.

“But do get her a CT as well,” Klaus told her.

Hayley rolled her eyes and returned to the patient. She took Annie to CT, which was inconclusive, so her and Klaus went to scrub for the ex-lap which was apparently going to be an awake procedure since there were some concerns with the anesthetic. Hayley bit the inside of her cheek to keep from asking Klaus what he was going to do after seeing the grim look on his face and looking at the camera. It didn’t look good.

“How’s it going, Dr. Mikaelson?” Annie asked in a wheezy voice.

“Everything’s fine, Annie. Just stay still, we’re almost done,” Klaus said, but turned to give Hayley a look that said the opposite. Hayley just sighed sadly, but held the scope.

Several minutes later, Klaus was done, and removed all scopes and instruments, and let Hayley suture the small incision before the orderlies and nurses wheeled Annie out.

“Poor woman,” Hayley sighed sadly as she and Klaus scrubbed out. “Can you really not operate?”

“Sadly not. And, even if I could, I’m not sure we could put her under,” he said with a heavy sigh.

Hayley opened her mouth to say something else, but Klaus didn’t let her.

“Hayley, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not in the mood for small talk. Now, I have to go tell my patient she’s going to die within a year,” he snapped, and grabbed one of the surgical cloths to dry his hands.

Hayley’s shoulders slumped. “Sorry,” she muttered, and grabbed a towel herself, drying her hands before following after Klaus.

After they informed Annie and called her family, they had a hernia repair and a colonoscopy before Hayley finally managed to catch her breath.

“Tough day, Marshall?” Klaus remarked tauntingly as they exited the scrub room after the colonoscopy.

Hayley glared at him, “you know, if you weren’t my boss and we weren’t at work, I would definitely smack you,” she retorted. Klaus chuckled, amused.

“Well, that didn’t stop your boyfriend,” he quipped, giving her a look.

“You deserved that, and you know it, Klaus,” she bit back, glaring at him.

“Yeah, you’re right. Oh, lighten up, Hales,” he rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Or, better yet, since we’re free for the next hour, find my brother, and ask him to lighten up. I’m sure it will be extremely beneficial. Doctor’s orders,” he added, smirking, and Hayley had to curl her fists to keep from slapping him.

“Klaus, I swear to God, I am going to smack you!” she snapped, but he just smirked triumphantly.

“No, you won’t because you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of the Chief’s lectures,” he quipped smugly. Hayley was about to open her mouth to say something else when her pager beeped. It was Elijah, and her stomach flipped in excitement.

“I hate you,” she grumbled, glaring at him, and all but stuck her tongue out at him. Klaus just rolled his eyes.

“Very mature,” he quipped in a sing-song voice, but she ignored him and walked off to the resident’s locker room where she found most attendings as well as almost all surgical residents crammed in there. Elijah flashed her a smile as soon as she entered, and she smiled back, meeting his gaze. There was something in the way Elijah was standing, a sort of excited glint in his gaze that made Hayley’s head spin as she tried to figure out why. 

“Dr. Marshall,” he drawled, “thank you for joining us.”

“Did I miss something?” she wondered, her eyes drifting over the room and everyone inside.

“As a matter of fact, you almost did. But, since it was because of a surgery, you’re forgiven,” he said, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Congratulations, Dr. Marshall,” he said, and Hayley’s eyes widened. “You have been chosen for the solo surgery this afternoon,” he announced, and Hayley couldn’t help but gasp, her eyes wide with shock as she stared at him. The room erupted in cheers and claps, and a few groans, and she felt arms around her as some of her fellow residents hugged her.

“Congrats, Hales!” Keelin yelled as she hugged her tightly.

“Congratulations, Hayley!” Elena exclaimed, though she didn’t sound as excited, but Hayley returned her hug nonetheless. There were a few more congratulations before Hayley pulled away and turned back to Elijah.

“Are you- are you serious?” she asked, still in shock.

“I am,” he smirked. “Congratulations. O.R. 4. Go scrub,” he said simply.

“Wait. Now?”

“Yes. Or, do you have something else to do?” he quipped.

“Nope,” she said, barely able to contain her excitement.

“Good. Choose one of your peers to assist you,” Jo said with a grin as she stood beside Elijah.

“Keelin? You up for it?” Hayley asked, turning to the other resident. Keelin grinned.

“Hell yeah!” she exclaimed, a grin forming on her face. “Let’s go scrub!” she cheered, and Hayley laughed, amused. She flashed Elijah another smile before she followed Keelin out of the residents’ lounge and to the O.R. [The patient is 34-year-old Kyle Diaz who required an above the knee amputation after a nasty infection]. Hayley and Keelin scrubbed in and entered the O.R., and the nurses helped them with their gowns, masks and gloves. Aya entered after them to monitor, taking a seat in the corner.

“We’ve got quite the audience,” Keelin mused as she stood on the other side of the table who was being intubated. Hayley looked up and found the gallery filled with attendings and residents, all looking down at them expectantly.

“No pressure,” she muttered sarcastically, and everyone chuckled. She exchanged one last look with Elijah before she turned to the anesthesiologist. “Is everything ready?”

“Yes. SATS are steady,” he confirmed, and she nodded.

“Okay, then. Incision site is marked,” she said, double checking it. “Scalpel,” she said, and reached to the scrub nurse who handed it to her. She took the sharp knife, and positioned it at the start of the marking. And then, she cut. The O.R. gallery erupted in claps and hollers before Elijah told them all to shut up.

* * *

“Congratulations, Dr. Marshall!” Aya announced once Hayley finished the last suture. “That was beautiful,” she said, smiling. Hayley smiled back, despite the mask. “I believe, Dr. Marshall deserves another round of applause,” she added, and everyone started clapping while Hayley looked up, searching to Elijah, but he wasn’t in the gallery. Then, there was a knock on the scrub room window, and Hayley looked up to find Elijah there, smiling at her proudly.

“Thank you,” Hayley said, swallowing back tears.

“Okay. Let’s scrub out,” Aya nodded, and everyone filed out of the O.R.; the nurses and orderlies took the patient to recovery while Aya, Keelin and the anesthesiologist filed into the scrub room and scrubbed out quickly. Hayley, took one last look around the O.R. and smiled before she threw her gown, gloves and mask into the medical waste bin and entered the scrub room. And, she couldn’t help herself anymore. She stepped towards him and threw her arms around him, pressing herself to him. Elijah caught her easily, and wrapped his own arms around her, pulling her to him as he tucked his chin over her shoulder, and held her tightly. Finally, after a few seconds, she pulled away, but Elijah still held her, his hands resting on her hips.

“I am so proud of you, Hayley,” he said softly, and smiled. “You are an amazing surgeon,” he added.

“Thank you,” she said, and her lips curved into a soft smile, mirroring his. Their lips were mere inches from each other, and Hayley could feel Elijah’s breath in her face, his nose almost brushing against hers. Slowly, Elijah tilted his head slightly and brushed his lips against hers. Hayley’s eyes fluttered close as she deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck while he pulled her closer. It was a gentle kiss, and Hayley slipped her tongue into Elijah’s mouth, and the kiss soon became more passionate as their lips molded with each other, teeth nipping and biting lightly and their tongues tangled for a few seconds. When air became a necessity, Elijah slowly pulled away, his teeth capturing her lip lightly nipping it before he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, their noses brushing. Hayley sighed softly and smiled. Finally, he pulled slightly away only too look at her properly, his dark brown eyes meeting hers.

“And, to celebrate, let’s go on a date. A real date,” he said, and Hayley’s eyes widened slightly.

“Really?” she gasped.

“Yes,” he grinned. “Shall we do it next Friday?” he suggested.

“Uh, yeah, I get off earlier, so sure,” she agreed, smiling.

“Good. I’ll pick you up around 1900?”

“Okay,” she grinned. She opened her mouth to say something else, but her pager beeped. She sighed. “Sorry, I have to go,” she muttered apologetically.

“No problem,” he said, and she scrubbed out quickly before running out of the scrub room.

* * *

As if the universe was trying to screw with her, she got pulled into a five-hour surgery the day of her and Elijah’s first date. Luckily, it was her last, and with Hope at Rebekah’s, Hayley rushed to get home. The dress she and Cami had bought for the date a few days ago was in her closet, and after showering, she put it on and couldn’t help but admire herself. It was a black with flower print, spaghetti strap number that fit close beneath her bust before flaring out and was made of something that was called ‘georgette’ but Hayley liked how light and airy it was, and it ended just below the knees. Her phone rang, and she saw it was Cami, so she put her on speaker.

“Hey,” she said as she pulled her hair in a messy bun so she could do her makeup.

“Hey, you. Are you home?” her friend asked her as she began applying foundation, then primer and concealer.

“Yeah, managed to make it just in time. Ugh. I haven’t been on a date in ages. Ages, Cami!” she groaned as she tried not to poke her eyes out with her mascara.

“You’ll be fine! You two are already together, so it’ll be fine!” her friend told her gently. “Where’s Hope at tonight?”

“Rebekah’s. Josh and Aiden are going on a short vacation since Josh is done with exams. So, Bekah offered to babysit Hope,” she explained. She was almost done, was just applying her blush and lipstick while trying to figure out what she would do with her hair.

“I’m assuming that the fact that you’re going out with her brother might have something to do with that,” Cami said, amused. Hayley just rolled her eyes. “So, is he picking you up?”

“Yeah, in fact he should be here soon. Oh, Gods… I kind of can’t believe it. After all it took for us to get together, and here we are, going on our first date,” she mused, sounding like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Well, I say it’s about damn time. You and Elijah both deserve this, to be happy. And, look, I know things with Jackson will get worse before they get better, but you’re not there yet. Just enjoy this happiness for now,” Cami told her, but she said nothing, her stomach tightened with nerves. “Are you at least ready?”

“Yeah, I just- I just can’t figure out what to do with my hair,” she sighed.

“Why don’t you just leave it down?”

“Hmm, you might be right,” she said and pulled her hair out of the messy bun, and brushed it out slightly so that it cascaded down her shoulder in waves. She slipped her feet into her strappy heeled sandals, then she sprayed a bit of perfume on and was about to grab her purse when the doorbell rang.

“Hayley? You there?”

“He’s here,” she exclaimed, almost gleefully.

“Girl, you are so gone! Just go and have fun!” Cami quipped, and Hayley could practically see her friend roll her eyes.

“Okay, bye!” she said, and hung up before racing to the door, almost falling over something in the process. She managed to make it to the door in one piece and opened it to find Elijah standing in front of her in a suit, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

He smiled as soon as he saw her, and she noticed his eyes trail over her body before he looked up at her once more and met her gaze.

“H- hi,” she almost squeaked, and smiled at him.

“Hello,” he greeted her, his gaze warm. They stood there for a few seconds, neither of them moving before Hayley realized they were still at her door.

“C- come on in,” she stammered, and stepped back, gesturing for him to enter. Elijah entered, then handed her the bouquet and she smiled at him nervously. “Thank you, Elijah,” she murmured softly. “Let me- let me just put these into a vase, and I’ll be ready,” she added, and took the flowers to the kitchen were the one vase she had resided, filled it with water and put the flowers in. “These are beautiful,” she muttered softly, but when she glanced at Elijah, it wasn’t the flowers he was looking at. No, Elijah was looking at her, his gaze roaming over her body, and she shivered slightly.

“No more than you,” he quipped, and she blushed. “You look stunning, Hayley,” he said softly, and she smiled, her heart beating faster, her stomach doing summersaults.

“Thank you. Shall we? I’m ready,” she asked, and grabbed her purse from where she’d left it on the sofa. But, before she could head for the door, she felt his hand on her arm, and he pulled her to her, spinning her around so she would be facing him, their faces mere inches from each other, noses brushing.

“Not quite,” he mumbled. And then, he pressed his lips to hers for a soft kiss that she returned eagerly, her lips molded with his, her teeth nipping and sucking gently on his lower lip as she moved her hands to wrap them around his neck, tugging lightly on his hair while Elijah held onto her waist with one hand, the other cupping the back of her neck. It was a slow and gentle kiss, both of them leaning into each other, their tongues tangled together. Reluctantly, Elijah pulled away, though he still held her, and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I came in,” he mumbled against her lips, his voice husky.

She hummed softly, “have you now?” she quipped, and he chuckled, and Hayley was pretty sure that the sound of Elijah’s laughter was her favorite sound ever.

“Oh, yeah…” he smirked.

“Well, I’m not complaining,” she retorted.

“Unfortunately, as much as I would love to continue this, we should go now,” he told her.

“Okay, you’re probably right… let’s go,” she agreed. They pulled apart, and Hayley led Elijah out of her apartment, then followed him to his car, letting him open the door for her.

* * *

The drive to the restaurant was quick, and spent in comfortable silence, the two of them holding hands across the console. Elijah parked, and got out, then rounded the car to her door, opening it and extending his hand for her. Hayley gave him a look, and opened her mouth to say something, but Elijah didn’t let her.

“Hayley, don’t make a big deal of this,” he said, his eyes shining a little amused. “Just let me do it, it’s our first date,” he added, so she just pursed her lips and took his hand.

They’d arrived at a small Italian restaurant on the Riverwalk with a small terrace that overlooked the river, fairy lights strung all over casting a soft, warm glow. The hostess greeted them with a smile.

“Buonasera,” she greeted them, and Hayley was a little surprised by her Italian accent, but she didn’t say anything. “Do you have reservations?”

“Buonasera,” Elijah greeted with a smile, and Hayley couldn’t help but roll her eyes even though a small part of her was also impressed. “We have a table for two. Mikaelson,” he added.

“Ah. Sì. Follow me,” the hostess beamed, and grabbed two menus before leading them onto the terrace towards a secluded table in the corner, overlooking the river, gently illuminated by a candle. “A waiter will be with you in just a moment,” she added before strutting away.

“Thank you,” Hayley muttered with a smile.

“Grazie,” Elijah said softly as he pulled Hayley’s chair, and she took a seat, crossing her legs.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “Is there anything you can’t do?” she wondered, but immediately felt like taking her words back when Elijah’s face fell. “I meant- you’re an amazing surgeon, and apparently you speak Italian…” she trailed off nervously, but Elijah flashed her a quick smile.

“I understand what you mean. Forgive me,” he said softly. “I do speak French as well,” he added, smirking smugly.

“Of course you do,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “You weren’t lying about the whole nine yards thing,” she added as she looked around.

“It’s a nice, family-owned Italian restaurant,” Elijah shrugged. “I’m glad you like it. I wanted tonight to be special,” he added, and she noticed he was blushing a little, but she didn’t comment on it and instead just smile.

“Well, thank you,” she muttered softly.

The waiter arrived then. “Hello. My name is Giovani and I am your waiter tonight. What will you be having to drink?” he asked with a broad grin.

“I’ll just have water,” she said, and immediately Elijah met her gaze.

“Hayley,” he said softly, “you can have a drink if you want. I’m fine,” he told her, and flashed her a smile.

“Are you sure?” she bit her lip. “I just- I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” she added nervously.

“Yes, I’m sure. Trust me,” Elijah said gently, but firmly.

“Okay, then I’ll have a Pinot Grigio,” she said, turning to the waiter.

“And, for you, sir?”

“Just water for me, thank you.”

“Okay. And, any appetizers for you? Anything to start?”

Hayley scanned the menu quickly, “uh, can we have the cheese platter?” she requested.

“Of course. Okay, I will bring it right away, and you can think about mains,” Giovani said with a smile, and they nodded before he left, leaving Hayley and Elijah alone.

Hayley pursed her lips, smiling awkwardly as she rested her hand on the table, and Elijah rested his own on top of hers.

“Hayley, please don’t feel bad,” he said softly. “I do appreciate you thinking of me. I just- I’m fine, and I am a little tired of my siblings treating me with kid gloves,” he explained, sounding slightly nervous, and laced his fingers with hers.

“Oh,” she muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he squeezed her hand. “Do you know what you’re going to have?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll go with the meat ravioli in tomato sauce,” she said. “You?”

“I’ll go with the ricotta and pumpkin ravioli in cream sauce,” he replied. “Have you ever been to Italy?”

“Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’. “I’d love to, though, but when you’re a single mom trying to finish your residency, trips to Italy are a luxury you can’t afford,” she said, and blushed slightly.

Elijah nodded in understanding. “I’ve only been twice, but I loved it. It’s a beautiful country, filled with culture, art, music and food. Obviously,” he said, and she chuckled at the last part. “Have you travelled anywhere, though?”

“Um, not really…” she trailed off. “Went to DC once, and New York while I was in college. Disneyland with Hope. Nothing when I was growing up; my adoptive parents never let me. I did travel to Cabo once with friends, but that’s about it,” she admitted, and averted her gaze.

“You were adopted?” Elijah wondered curiously.

“Yeah. Parents died when I was a baby, and I got adopted. But, my adoptive parents, they-” she cut herself off, and swallowed, “they, uh, they kicked me out when I was sixteen. We had this horrible fight, and they just kicked me out. I lived in my car until I finished high school and went to college on a sports scholarship,” she explained, and Elijah sighed.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said sadly.

“It’s fine,” she shrugged, although a little tensely. “It was ages ago. You obviously travelled,” she added.

Elijah looked away, and Hayley pulled her hand from underneath his as their drinks and cheese platter arrived.

“Yeah, I, uh, we travelled a bit. Mostly around here when I was a kid. Then, I went to Oxford to university, so I travelled around England and Europe quite a lot,” he told her, and grabbed a piece of cheese while she took a sip of her wine.

“So, do you know what you’ll have for mains?” Giovani the waiter asked, pulling his pad out.

“Yeah. I’ll have the meat ravioli with tomato sauce,” she said with a small smile.

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

“And, for you, sir?”

“I’ll have the ricotta and pumpkin ravioli in cream sauce,” Elijah said as he closed his menu. “Thank you,” he said with a smile, and the waiter took their menus.

“Of course,” he said, smiling at them both before he turned and left.

“I’d love to travel, though,” Hayley said nervously, and flashed Elijah a tense smile. He smiled back and they both grabbed some more cheese.

“There’s plenty of places to visit around New Orleans, and I’m sure you could take Hope, or leave her here,” Elijah said casually.

Hayley smiled, “that would be nice, yeah. So, what was your favorite country in Europe to visit?”

Elijah seemed to think it over for a few seconds, “France,” he said after a while. “I loved it.”

Hayley tilted her head, and smiled. “I’ve always thought of it as this exquisite, sophisticated place,” she mused.

“It can be, but it has its own simplicity and charms. So, you went to med school here?” Elijah asked, changing the subject from travelling, and Hayley nodded. Conversation drifted around easily, the two of them talking easily as if they’d known each other forever, and their food arrived soon.

“Mm,” she moaned, her eyes automatically fluttering closed. “This is amazing!” she said with a sigh. “How are yours?”

“Delicious. You want to try?” he asked, holding out his fork towards her. Hayley pursed her lips for a second, and she saw a hint of amusement in Elijah’s eyes before she finally leaned forward and took a bite.

“Mm, okay, this is actually really good,” she said, and Elijah chuckled.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said softly.

“You have good taste,” she quipped, smirking slightly, and Elijah laughed softly.

“I would say so, yes,” he said. The waiter came over and took their empty plates, handing them menus for desert. They ordered their deserts, and Hayley took another sip of her wine.

“I hardly saw you at work today, how was it?” Elijah asked as he took her hand once more.

“Tiring. And then, I got pulled into that five-hour surgery this afternoon. How was your day?”

“Not very eventful,” he shrugged. “A few consults, surgery, the usual,” he smiled.

“I missed you,” she said, a little out of the blue. “It was a little weird not seeing you at all,” she added, and Elijah smiled.

“I missed you, too,” he said softly, and brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of her hand gently. The waiter brought their deserts, Panna Cotta with raspberry sauce for Hayley and a sort of tart called Crostata for Elijah.

“You want to try some?” Hayley wondered, scooping a bit of Pana Cotta into her spoon and holding out the spoon towards Elijah, who leaned towards her and ate it. They fed each other desert as soft music started playing, and a few couples started dancing. One of them was an older couple, and Hayley couldn’t help but watch them, smiling softly. “Do you think they know how rare that is?” she wondered after taking a forkful of Elijah’s tart.

Elijah tilted his head, “what do you mean?”

“Love someone for so long?” she clarified, though she was looking at them fondly, a part of her wanting that for herself. With Elijah. But, Hayley didn’t say that, and instead just continued to look at him. He did look handsome in that suit, his hair only slightly messy, face covered by slight stubble, but Hayley liked him like that.

Elijah smiled, “well, according to Rebekah true love can’t be measured in time... when you find the right person it’s forever,” he shrugged. “I’m not sure I believe it though. Do you ever feel like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re just destined for someone?” he wondered, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. [She did feel like that. For him. But, she was sure that if she told him, he would run].

“Yeah…” she said softly and trailed off, meeting his gaze. Elijah stood then, and held out a hand to her as a new song came on.

“Would you care to dance?” he asked, still smiling, his eyes shining. Hayley sighed, pursing her lips, but took his hand, and let him lead her to the dance floor. She rested a hand on his shoulder as he held onto her waist lightly, their other hands joined together, and they began to sway slowly as the music continued to play. Hayley rested her head on his chest, and they continued to dance slowly. At one point, Elijah spun her out, and she laughed before he spun her back, and her breath caught in her throat as her nose brushed against his, their lips mere inches from each other. His lips brushed against hers gently, and she returned the tender kiss before pulling away when the song ended. They returned to their table, and asked for the bill, which Elijah paid, and she didn’t argue because he’d obviously worked hard to make the night perfect. And then, they left, thanking the waiter and hostess.

“Thank you, Elijah,” she said softly as she laced her fingers with his, and he smiled. She shivered, and he took off his blazer, and draped it over her shoulders. Hayley smiled gratefully.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I, uh, I wanted tonight to be perfect,” he said softly, and smiled.

“It was. Honestly, Elijah. It was perfect,” she said softly, and reached to cup his cheek.

Elijah leaned into her touch, “good,” he muttered. They were standing close, their lips barely a few inches from each other, their noses brushing. Hayley couldn’t help herself anymore, and she pressed her lips to his as Elijah rested his hands on her hips, and pulled her closer. Hayley deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his, and Elijah responded easily, his lips yielding against hers. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds, before Elijah reluctantly pulled away.

“Shall we?” he asked softly, ready to open the door.

“Yeah,” she nodded, and got into the car. Elijah shut the door, then got into the driver’s side. Almost instinctively, he reached for her hand, and Hayley smiled as she laced her fingers with his.


	14. And, the Memories Were Lost Long Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Elijah and Hayley's date. Esther and Mikael got wind of Hayley and Hope's presence and existence. Another Mikaelson family dinner ends in disaster.

They spent the drive in comfortable silence, their hands joined across the console. Elijah had to force himself to concentrate on the road because now it was much harder not to look at Hayley. God, she was so beautiful, and she looked especially beautiful tonight. And, he was having a very hard time not pulling over and having his way with her. But, he wasn’t going to do that; he refused to. So, he just focused on the road, and continued to hold Hayley’s hand in his, her thumb rubbing gently over his knuckles. _She has absolutely no idea what she’s doing to me,_ he mused. _She doesn’t even know how her touch affects me, how it grounds me. She is so perfect, and I don’t deserve her._ He glanced over at her, and she flashed him a shy smile that he returned before looking back at the road.

They arrived at Hayley’s flat, and Elijah was lucky to find a parking spot, so he killed the engine, let go of Hayley’s hand and got out. Hayley exited the car herself this time, and he smiled amused, before he took her hand once again, and she laced her fingers with his. Together, they walked into the building and took the elevator to the second floor where Hayley’s apartment was located. Once they arrived at the door, Elijah let go of Hayley’s hand so she could fish around her purse for the keys, and waited patiently as she opened the front door, gesturing for him to follow after her as she slipped off her heels. Once he shut the door behind him, they were plunged into darkness, but Elijah didn’t care. He reached for her, his fingers curling around her wrist, and pulled her to him, feeling her warm body against his. Slowly, he pushed his blazer off her shoulders, and rested his hands on her shoulders before his hands trailed down her back, and rested them on her waist.

“Elijah…” Hayley whispered against his lips, her breath fanning his face, and her own hands rested on his chest.

He froze, “I- is this okay?” he asked, his heart hammering in his chest. No matter how badly he wanted this, he wasn’t going to do anything until she allowed him.

He heard Hayley make a small noise, something like laughter in the back of her throat, and he let out a shaky breath.

“Yes,” she muttered breathlessly. “Gods, of course I want this… yes, Elijah…” His shoulders slumped as he let out a sigh of relief, and gripped her waist more firmly. “But, the lights, Elijah,” she added with an amused chuckle. “I’d like to see.” He chuckled softly, too, and Hayley stretched her hand out, reaching blindly behind her before finally finding the light switch and flipping it on, and they were flooded in a soft, warm light. He couldn’t help but smile finally seeing her face, and she smiled back as their eyes met. They were in the hallway, but that would soon be rectified.

Hayley wound her arms around his neck, her fingers threading his hair gently as she leaned closer and rubbed her nose against his. And that was it. His lips descended onto hers, and Hayley let out a soft moan, but met his lips eagerly, and slipped her tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. Her lips were soft against his, but the kiss soon became passionate as their lips moved against each other in a frenzy. Hayley’s hands drifted to his chest once more, and she loosened his tie easily, throwing it to the floor before she began working on his buttons while he pressed her gently against the wall, and broke the kiss, although reluctantly, the two of them panting for air, their noses brushing roughly against each other.

“Take me to bed, Elijah,” Hayley mumbled against his lips, and he nodded.

“As you wish,” he whispered back before he picked her up, and she let out a squeal of delight as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“That way,” she muttered gesturing to the room towards the right, and he carried her in that direction, opening the door with his elbow as she kissed him, her hands cupping his cheeks, and he returned it while carrying her towards the bed and setting her gently on top of it. He climbed on top of her while she still hooked her legs around his waist, and moaned against his lips as he slipped his hands beneath her dress, rubbing slow and sensuous circles on her hips. When air became a necessity, she pulled away slowly, rubbing her nose against his before her hands returned to his shirt, and she undid the last buttons, slipping it off his shoulders before resting her hands on his chest, her eyes dark with lust. She reached down and swiftly undid his belt and pants, and pushed them off his legs. They sat up together, and Elijah reached for the hem of her dress, and lifted it slowly, gently pulling it over her head to reveal Hayley in nothing more than lacy underwear, sans bra. Elijah couldn’t help but lick his lips, and he was sure his own eyes had darkened. _God, this woman was so beautiful._ Hayley grasped the hem of his boxers, and pushed them off, too, and smirked as her eyes drifted over him. Slowly, he cupped her breasts, and began rubbing them slowly and gently before his movements became more rough while Hayley’s fingers slid up and down his shaft, making him groan.

“Condom?” she asked, a little impatiently.

Elijah felt himself flush, “wallet. In my blazer. Fuck,” he muttered, but Hayley just chuckled, not at all bothered, then stretched one hand, reaching for her nightstand, and pulled the drawer open. She moved a little before finally grabbing something and slamming the drawer shut, and handed the condom to him. He bowed his head, slightly embarrassed, but she cupped his cheek and tilted his head, forcing him to look at her.

“It’s no big deal, ‘Lijah,” she said softly. “We’re both adults.”

“Right,” he muttered before turning to place the condom on. And then, he faced her once more, and leaned to press a gentle kiss against her lips.

“I need you, Elijah…” she gasped once he pulled away. “I need you inside me, right now,” she commanded breathlessly. He nodded, and rested his hands on her back, pushing her down slowly before he positioned himself on top of her. Slowly, he entered her, and Hayley let out a cry, and he felt her tense, but he didn’t stop. And then, he started thrusting, slowly and rhythmically at first as she arched her back, and began moving her hips, matching his movements. Their lips met halfway, teeth nipping and biting and sucking, tongues tangled together, his hands holding her back as her hands drifted to his shoulder blades. His movements became more frenzied, and Hayley matched them easily before breaking the kiss momentarily, both of them panting. Her nails dug into his skin, and he cried out lowly, and arched his back, holding himself up by his elbows as he rested his arms on either side of her head.

“You are so beautiful…” he mumbled as Hayley continued to dig her nails into his skin while he pumped faster and harder.

“Gods, Elijah… fuck… harder, please,” she gasped against his lips. “I’m so close…”

“Me, too…” he panted. And then, Hayley grasped the chain that held his army tags, and pulled on it, pulling him closer until the tags rested on her breasts, and he moaned lowly. Their lips met halfway in a passionate, searing kiss, lips molded with each other, teeth biting, and nipping, and sucking, tongues tangled together. And then, he came undone, spilling inside her, and moments later, she let out a cry muffled by his lips before she relaxed beneath him, and broke the kiss, brushing her nose against his as they both panted, gasping for air. Her touch became more gentle as she began caressing him gently, her fingers drifting slowly over his skin, hands cupping the back of his neck, his ear before cupping his cheeks. He rubbed his nose gently against hers, and she smiled, sighing softly.

“Hayley, I-” he cut himself off, not ready to say the words. Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat.

“I know. We should probably get some sleep,” she said with a nod. He smiled, and collapsed on top of her, his head resting in the curve of her shoulder as she rested her hands on his back, and eventually, after the heady lust had worn off, they drifted to sleep. 

* * *

Hayley awoke to the shower running, and she sat up slowly, and her eyes drifted lazily around the room, noticing her own clothes folded neatly on the chair in the corner, along with Elijah’s clothes. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight, and she stood up slowly just as the door to the en-suite bathroom opened and Elijah Mikaelson walked out, a towel wrapped around his hips, giving her a full display of his abs, his army tags resting against his chest. Hayley couldn’t help but blush as she remembered how she’d pulled on them the night before during sex, but finally looked up to meet Elijah’s gaze.

He smiled, “good morning. Hope you don’t mind. And, I found a spare toothbrush in the cabinet,” he told her as he walked towards her and pressed his still-wet lips to her forehead lightly.

“No, I don’t mind,” she said softly. “What- what time is it?” she wondered. “I have a shift at the hospital this weekend.”

Elijah checked his watch which was on the nightstand, “it’s 0800,” he told her.

“Crap! I have rounds at 9. I have to shower,” she said, and stood up abruptly, and would have fallen if Elijah hadn’t caught her easily, flashing her a small smile.

“Easy there, tiger,” he said softly, slightly amused. “You’ll make it. Why don’t you go shower while I get dressed?”

“Thanks,” she said breathlessly as she grabbed a clean pair of panties from her dresser and went to take a shower.

After a quick shower and lightly drying her hair, Hayley got dressed, checked that her bag had clean scrubs in it and added a fresh pair of underwear before grabbing it and her everyday purse and exiting the bedroom to find Elijah.

She found him in the kitchen, and he slid a mug of freshly made coffee and a bowl of cereal towards her before taking a seat at the kitchen island himself.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked her as he ate his own cereal.

“Yeah, thanks. You?”

“Perfect,” he said with a smile, and she smiled back. They ate breakfast in silence, both of them in a hurry before they rushed out, dropping the plates and empty coffee mugs in the sink.

They got into separate cars, and bid each other goodbye, sharing a tender kiss, before Elijah backed out of the parking lot, and Hayley did the same. Ironically, though, they made it to the hospital together, and parked next to each other before Hayley grabbed her duffel bag and took Elijah’s hand in hers, and together they entered the hospital.

In the lobby, they found Klaus and Cami, and stopped by to say hello.

“So, you two came to work together,” Cami mused, smirking and wiggling her eyebrows in Hayley’s direction while Elijah was talking to Klaus.

“In separate cars, Cami,” Hayley rolled her eyes, and Cami’s face immediately fell, disappointed, and she pouted slightly.

“So, nothing happened after your date?” she wondered, still looking at Hayley carefully, her bright green eyes observing everything Hayley did.

“I didn’t say that,” Hayley quipped, smirking slightly while the other woman pretty much smirked.

“Good. You’re all here.” They all turned to find Rebekah standing in front of them wearing her work clothes, and regarding the four of them with a tense smile.

“Good morning to you, too, Rebekah,” Hayley said, chuckling lightly. Rebekah just rolled her eyes.

“So, Rebekah, what brings you hear? You don’t usually come here to play,” Klaus wondered, voicing the question that was probably on everyone’s minds, though none of them would acknowledge.

“Can’t a sister want to see her brothers, her sister-in-law and her best friend?” Rebekah remarked, but when the four of them flashed her an unimpressed glare, she sighed in defeat. “Oh. Fine. I do have something to tell you all. Well, it turns out that Mother and Father do still have spies around here. And, somehow, they found out about Hayley, and Hope. And, they’re coming to New Orleans for dinner,” she announced, and Hayley noticed as the faces of the two Mikaelson brothers fell.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Klaus muttered.

“That is quite accurate, brother,” Elijah quipped.

“They insist to meet Hope, too,” Rebekah added. “So, looks like you’re invited to dinner, Hayley.”

Cami exchanged a look with Klaus before looking over at Hayley.

“Dinner. With your parents. Sounds great,” Hayley muttered sarcastically. [Even though she didn’t exactly know the Mikaelson parents, Rebekah had told her some things, enough for Hayley to know that this would be anything but a nice family dinner]. “I’ll be there.”

“Lovely. Boys?” she turned to her brothers who were both staring at the floor, and cleared her throat.

“Well, I suppose I’ll go. If only to make sure Hayley survives the dinner,” Elijah said neutrally, and both Hayley and Rebekah snorted.

“Thanks, babe. I really appreciate it,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Nik?”

But, Klaus stayed silent, and Cami elbowed him to get his attention.

“Ouch, Camille!” he exclaimed, pretending to sound hurt, but failed. Cami just chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Dinner. Right. Well, I won’t be in attendance, thank you very much,” he said drily, smirking slightly.

“Niklaus, don’t be a child,” Elijah scolded while Hayley and Cami exchanged a concerned glance. It occurred to both of them just why Klaus was refusing, and Hayley bit her lip while Cami’s eyes darted between the three Mikaelson siblings.

“Honestly, Nik!” Rebekah snapped, rolling her eyes. “It’s just dinner.” Klaus gave Rebekah a hard look, and then realization seemed to dawn on her, too. “Oh. Is this because of Hope? I mean, I’m sure you can still come to dinner. You don’t have to tell her exactly who you are,” she shrugged. Klaus just glared at Rebekah, unimpressed.

“No,” he said simply. “Now, Bekah, don’t nag and go do what you do. I’ve got work,” he said coldly, and began to walk away.

“Honestly, Klaus,” Hayley started, but stopped herself.

“Nik, you’re being such a child!” Rebekah yelled, annoyed, and Klaus finally turned around.

“Oh, for the love of God, Rebekah!” he snapped, and Hayley looked around to find that people were staring.

“Louder, Klaus. Have the hospital know about the Mikaelson family drama,” she muttered, and exchanged a look with Elijah. Rebekah huffed.

“She’s right Nikaus. We don’t need the whole hospital pulled into our family drama,” Elijah added in a warning tone.

“Fine,” Klaus hissed. “Here’s what I have to say. I'm not ready to be her father. And if she meets me, especially at a family dinner where we'd have no choice but to tell her who I am, my choices would be to either embrace a role I'm not ready for or break her little heart,” he said quietly, and Hayley sighed. “I can't meet her and then walk away from her, it wouldn't be fair to her. And I need more time, still,” he added. So, maybe, Klaus wasn’t so cruel after all. Hayley couldn’t help but wonder just who or what had damaged him this much because it was obvious that he had his own demons and issues he still wasn’t ready to face. Much like Elijah. Elijah, too, nodded, and Cami took Klaus’ hand to offer some comfort. Even Rebekah’s face softened.

“Fine,” she muttered. “Well, if you’ll excuse me then, I have to go meet with Vincent,” she said.

“Uh, Bekah?”

“Yeah?”

“Just when exactly is this dinner?” Hayley asked.

“Tuesday evening. Seven o’clock. See you,” Rebekah said before strutting away, blowing them kisses. 

* * *

Even in his drunken stupor, Elijah managed to make it to the E.R., although his vision was blurry and he couldn’t quite stand straight. The nurse’s words continued to ring in his ears as he stumbled around. _Katherine. Jonathan. Accident._

“Katherine!” he yelled as he tried to scan the room for his wife. At this point, he didn’t care about the cheating, about the fact that the two of them were falling apart. All he cared about was finding Katherine and making sure she was okay. “Katherine! Katherine!” he yelled, still stumbling around. A hand caught onto his arm, and he turned to find one of his colleagues looking at him concerned.

“Elijah? You okay?” she asked worriedly, still gripping his arm.

“Fine,” he grumbled, wrenching his arm out of her grasp. “Where- where is Katherine. I need to see her. And, Jonathan… please, I need to- I need to see them…” he trailed off, practically choking on his words. _Oh God._ “Katherine… I need to see her, please,” he practically begged, his voice shaking.

“Elijah.” He turned to find another colleague, though she was blurry.

“Wh- what happened?” he managed to ask, feeling tears prickle at his eyes.

“They were on the way from school. Car ran the red light and T-boned into them. Katherine is alright, she’s in surgery, we’re trying to stabilize her.”

“A- and Jon?” he managed to ask, his words slurred. Rose said nothing, and took a deep breath as if bracing herself. Elijah’s heart started beating harder. At that moment, Code Blue was announced through the speakers, and a loud beeping came from one of the trauma rooms. The doors opened, and a few nurses ran in with a crash cart. Elijah stumbled in that direction automatically, as if deep down he knew. “J- Jonathan!” he managed, his own voice sounding so unlike himself, and his lips shook. The doctors were performing CPR, one of his colleagues pressing hard on his pale chest. “J- Jonathan!” he yelled again, stepping closer to the trauma room. 

“We’re losing him,” one of them said, and Elijah shook his head.

“No, we are not!” another one snapped. “Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Charge to 200!” she yelled, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest, his ears ringing. “Clear!” 

Nothing. Elijah reached for something to hold onto, to steady himself, but found nothing as his heart hammered in his chest.

“Still nothing,” one of the residents muttered.

“Charge to 250!” she ordered. “Clear!”

Nothing. Elijah felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was on fire.

“J- Jonathan…” he muttered, but it was useless to call his name now. His vision blurred with tears, and a few spilled onto his cheeks, and he reached to wipe them away immediately.

The doctors had resumed CPR, but nothing.

“Charge to 300!” she ordered, and Elijah’s heart beat faster as he stared in front of him.

“Come on, Jonathan,” he muttered. “Come on, mate. You can do this, c’mon, buddy!” he muttered, panting slightly as he continued to stare at what was happening in front of his eyes. “Come on, Jon, buddy,” he continued to mutter

“Clear!” the doctor yelled while Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest.

“C’mon, Jon, c’mon, buddy you can do this,” he muttered, his own eyes glassy with tears while his cheeks were tearstained. “Come on, Jonathan!” he screamed, sounding choked.

With a start, Elijah woke up, and the word ‘Jonathan’ died on his lips as he let panted, covered in sweat, his sheets twisted around him. _It was just a nightmare. No, not just a nightmare. The nightmare that was his life._ He let out a deep, ragged breath before burying his face in his hands, and letting out a painful sob, tears spilling onto his cheeks. Gods, his chest hurt. And, he desperately craved a drink. His alarm rang, and Elijah glanced at his phone to find it was 0600. _It was Tuesday, June 11, 2019._ The Mikaelson famiy dinner was that evening. And, he needed to get to work since he had an early surgery. He wiped his face and got out of bed, stumbling slightly in the darkness.

After taking a hot shower, he put on a clean suit, made himself an omelet and coffee for breakfast and left his apartment to go to work. He would focus on work, and try not to think about that evening, or his nightmare for that matter.

* * *

Elijah insisted on picking her and Hope up. When Hayley had objected, informing him that she could drive herself, her boyfriend had laughed before telling her that him driving would allow her to drink. And, according to him, she would most certainly need one. So, Hayley agreed to it and let Elijah drive them to Rebekah where this Mikaelson family dinner was to be held, dropping by a store on the way to buy Rebekah a nice bottle of wine. [She went in and bought it, leaving Elijah in the car with Hope who seemed to be unaware of her uncle’s emotional distress].

“What exactly am I walking into?” Hayley asked Elijah quietly as the three of them rode the elevator to Rebekah’s apartment.

“Oh, let’s see...” he paused, and sighed heavily. “Disappointment, lies, fake niceness, and my mother pestering everyone about having children because she wants grandkids,” he told her, completely deadpan, and shrugged. Hayley’s eyes widened, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Sounds fun,” she said, slightly amused, though her stomach clenched nervously.

Elijah cupped her cheek gently, “whatever happens in there, please know I- we, my siblings and I, consider you and Hope part of this family,” he said softly before leaning a little closer and pressing his lips to her forehead, and she relaxed slightly.

“Elijah,” she whispered once he pulled away and was looking at her. “You can’t be serious; they can’t be that bad.”

Elijah’s lips curved into a smile, “oh, I am. They are.”

Hayley just shook her head and reached to rest one hand against the back of his neck, threading her fingers through his hair before she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Elijah responded easily, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss. It started as a sweet kiss, but it soon deepened, their tongues tangling together, bodies pressed against each other.

“Ew! Mom! Uncle Elijah! Ew!” Hope exclaimed, and Hayley broke the kiss as she realized her seven-year-old daughter was in the elevator with them.

“Oh God,” she muttered breathlessly, embarrassed. “Oh, sweetie,” she murmured as she leaned closer to Elijah who was blushing adorably, and he tilted his head slightly, hiding his face in her hair. “Hope, honey, I’m so sorry,” she added, still apologetic. Hope just giggled.

“Oh, mommy...” she rolled her eyes theatrically and Hayley could swear this child was turning into quite the sassy Mikaelson. “It’s okay. I’ve seen you guys kiss before. But, that was just way too gross,” she declared, wrinkling her nose slightly.

Hayley chuckled, “sorry, sweetie. We’ll try not so be so gross in the future,” she said, smiling in amusement. “Right, Elijah?” she added, winking in her boyfriend’s direction.

“Yup,” he muttered against her neck, which only caused Hayley to chuckle again, amused. The elevator dinged as they arrived on the top floor, and the doors opened. Hope skipped out, and Elijah finally pulled away from her, and pressed the button to keep the doors opened while Hayley got out before exiting himself.

“It’s going to be okay,” Hayley muttered, trying to sound encouraging, though she was nervous, too, as they walked towards the apartment where Rebekah was already standing in the doorway.

“Come on, you two!” the blonde yelled just as they got there. “Hope’s already inside. C’mon, let’s get the introductions over with,” she said, nudging the two of them inside.

“Hey, Bekah,” Hayley greeted her, and they exchanged a quick hug and cheek kisses. “This is for you,” she added, handing Rebekah the bag that held the bottle of wine.

“Thank you,” Rebekah said graciously and gestured for Hayley to enter where she found Hope waiting patiently. “Hello, brother,” she added, turning to Elijah.

“Hello, Rebekah,” he said tensely and they exchanged a kiss on the cheek before Elijah entered and Rebekah shut the door behind herself.

As soon as the three of them entered the living room where everyone was gathered, Hayley felt suddenly grateful she never had to deal with awkward family dinners since her parents were dead and her adoptive ones kicked her out. And, Jackson was an orphan, too, raised by his grandparents. The atmosphere was extremely awkward to say the least, and Hayley felt especially bad for poor Rebekah who had taken it upon herself to host this dinner. Though, she may not have had much of a choice.

“Hey, guys,” Marcel said coming over to them. “Bekah, can you go make sure Freya doesn’t burn down our place?” he said and Hayley couldn’t help but snort while Rebekah trotted off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Marcel!” Hope exclaimed, delighted and rushed to give him a hug that he returned gladly.

“Hey there princess,” he said as he picked her up. Then, he turned to the two of them. “Hope this time goes better than last. Bekah kicked Mikael and Esther out not long after you left,” he told them, directing the last part at Elijah, and Hayley glanced at Elijah curiously, but he just shook his head.

“I somehow doubt it,” Elijah said drily. “But, for Bekah’s sake, I hope so.”

“Well, here we go,” Hayley said softly, and took his hands, turning to flashing him an encouraging smile. Elijah tried to smile back, but it was more of a grimace. Together, they stepped towards the Mikaelsons, and Hayley was glad that Kol was there, too, sitting across from a blonde couple, both with blue eyes and a young boy with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, much like Elijah’s. So, these were Esther and Mikael, and the young boy must be Henrik.

“Ah. Finally,” the man, who Hayley knew was Mikael, said when the trio spotted them, and Hayley noticed that the atmosphere became even more tense as Freya, Rebekah, Marcel and Kol all kept looking at each other. Hope was completely unaware as Marcel set her down and she came over to Hayley while Hayley kept glancing at Elijah worriedly. “Elijah. You made it,” Mikael said, extending a hand towards Elijah.

“Father,” Elijah said, gritting his teeth. “Didn’t give me much choice, so yes I’m here,” he added coldly, and Hayley noticed Freya and Rebekah exchange a look. Mikael just glared at Elijah and let go of his hand.

“Hello, Elijah,” Esther said, smiling sweetly, though it was obvious it was fake. “How are you?”

“Mother. Fine, thank you for your concern,” he said coldly, though it was masked by a tense smile. Esther leaned forward and kissed his cheek, and he stiffened, but returned the gesture. The boy, who looked like a teen version of Elijah, stepped forward, too.

“Hey, ‘Lijah,” he said, flashing Elijah a timid smile.

“Oh, hey, Henrik,” Elijah said stiffly, but returned the smile. Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as her eyes darted between the two brothers.

It was after this exchange that Esther and Mikael seemed to notice that there were two other people standing in front of them.

“You must be Hayley Marshall,” Esther said, fixing Hayley with a careful look, her lips curved into an unwelcoming smile.

“We’ve heard so much about you,” Mikael added.

“All good I hope,” Hayley joked, smiling nervously.

“Not really,” Mikael said. “But, you’re brave for trying to be funny, I’ll give you that,” he added.

“Mikael,” Esther muttered in a warning tone.

But, Mikael ignored his wife. “So, you’re the mother of the bastard’s child,” he said, and it took everything in Hayley not to gasp in shock. She felt Hope leave her, but soon realized that her aunts had whisked her away just in time. Henrik, too, scurried off.

“Mikael!” Esther hissed, and made a tsk noise. 

“Father, that was way out of line!” Elijah snapped, and Hayley noticed his jaw was locked tensely. “Apologize right now!”

“This does not concern you, Elijah. And, I do not take orders from you. Especially not after last time,” Mikael growled. “You’ll show some respect. After all, I am your father.” Elijah just glared.

“Unfortunately yes,” he grumbled under his breath, and Hayley’s eyes widened a little. _Was that snark coming from Elijah Mikaelson?_ Behind her, she thought she heard either Rebekah or Freya snort.

“What Mikael meant to ask was that you are Niklaus’- what do they call it? Baby mama?” Esther said, ignoring her husband, and flashed Hayley another fake smile.

“Uh, well, Klaus and I do have a child, so I guess I- I’m Hope’s mom,” she said, and swallowed nervously. It felt weird calling herself Klaus’ baby mama when he didn’t want to be Hope’s father.

Elijah stepped forward then, and rested his hand on her lower back, and Hayley relaxed. “And, she’s my girlfriend,” he announced. For a moment, nobody said anything while the Mikaelson parents looked from Elijah to Hayley then back to Elijah.

Mikael shook his head disapprovingly, “of all the women out there… you just had to go for the bastard’s baby mama. But, I guess you don’t give a shit at this point, and will settle for any-” Mikael was interrupted by Freya coming over to them with four full glasses. She handed the glasses of white wine to Mikael, Esther, and herself and the glass of water to Elijah.

“Thought you all could use some drinks,” she said with a smile. “Bekah made steak, so we’ll open the red then,” she added, flashed them a tense smile before she turned and left. Hayley took a long sip of her wine.

Esther took this moment to shift the conversation, “well, Elijah, if you’re happy we’re happy, too. Aren’t we Mikael?” she said sweetly, flashing her husband a tense smile, and touching his arm in a gentle manner.

Elijah didn’t seem fooled by her fake niceness, “not really, Mother,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

“So, Hayley, how come it took this long for us to meet our grandchild?” Esther asked, completely changing the subject, thought that was just as well.

“Well,” Hayley said slowly, “that would be because up until I came to New Orleans and met Klaus and Elijah, and found out who he was, I didn’t know that my little girl had more family. Not to mention it’s this family,” she said tensely, glancing in the direction of the kitchen where the rest of them were.

“You never told Niklaus about your child?” Esther wondered.

“Well, I told him I was pregnant, but he wasn’t exactly ready for fatherhood,” she said as nicely as she could, considering the fact that she was still pissed at Klaus. But, it was one thing for her to be pissed at him, and another for her to bring it up with his parents.

“Typical,” Mikael grumbled. “Lot of good it did it that I took him in as my own. He still acts like a coward and doesn’t even lay claim to his bastard daughter. And, where is he even tonight?”

“Well, this isn’t the Middle Ages, err… Mr. Mikaelson,” she said, biting her lip.

“Call me Mikael,” he interrupted her gruffly.

“Right. Mikael. Like I said, this isn’t the Middle Ages. Klaus knew I was pregnant, but after he told me he couldn’t be involved, we didn’t have contact until I got here last month. For all he knew I could have decided not to keep the baby even though I did,” she told him, gritting her teeth slightly. Beside her, Elijah was merely glaring at the floor, his jaw locked. “And, please don’t call my daughter bastard child,” she added firmly. Mikael just nodded.

“And, for the record, Niklaus is working. Which, I am certain you knew, Father,” Elijah added.

“Well, you’re here now. Welcome to the family,” Esther said, smiling pleasantly. “We’re so pleased to meet our only grandchild.” Hayley felt Elijah stiffen beside her, and her heart ached because she knew what he was thinking without even looking at him.

Elijah cleared his throat, “well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to the kitchen to get Hope,” he said. “And, would you be so kind and not act like this in front of your grandchild?” he added.

“Of course,” Esther nodded. Mikael, on the other hand, said nothing.

“I am warning you, Father,” Elijah said in a low voice, “I will not have you act like this in front of my niece,” he hissed, reaching to grip Mikael’s arm, but Mikael just pulled it out of Elijah’s grip easily.

“And, I am warning you, son,” he said the word disdainfully, “show some respect towards me and don’t go around giving orders. This isn’t your O.R.” Hayley watched as the two men glared at each other before Elijah turned to walk away, but she caught his arm.

“Why don’t you just go to the kitchen, and I’ll come with to get Hope,” she said in a low whisper, giving him a pointed look. Elijah just nodded, and pulled his hand out of her grasp, and walked off to the kitchen.

“Right. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go get Hope. And, for the record, Elijah is right. Please behave,” she said, then spun on her heel and walked to the kitchen herself which wasn’t really that far away because she was pretty sure all the other Mikaelson siblings, minus Klaus, had probably heard the entire exchange. Rebekah was busying herself with the food while Marcel and Kol were talking in a corner, and Freya was talking to Elijah.

“Um, where are- where is Hope?” she asked.

“We sent her and Henrik off to our room to watch a movie,” Rebekah said, not looking up from the food.

“Hayley, I’m so sorry our parents are being particularly… them tonight,” Freya said apologetically, and Elijah turned to look at her, his eyes conveying his feelings.

“It’s fine,” she shrugged. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go get Hope.”

She went to Rebekah and Marcel’s bedroom and found Hope and Henrik watching a movie on the TV.

“Hey, guys,” she said, leaning against the doorway. “Sorry, can I just steal Hope for a bit?”

“Yeah, sure,” Henrik shrugged.

Hope stood up, “do I have to, mommy?”

“Yeah, ya kind of do. C’mon, it won’t take long, there’s just some people I’d like you to meet. And, dinner should be ready soon,” she said. Hope sighed, but came and grabbed Hayley’s hand, and the two of them made their way to the living room where Esther and Mikael were sitting on the couch, talking quietly. They stopped as soon as they caught sight of her and Hope, though.

“Hello,” Esther said, standing up and walking over to them, crouching so she was on eye level with Hope. “I’m Esther, I’m your grandma,” she said warmly.

Hope clung to Hayley’s leg shyly, and Hayley nudged her daughter slightly.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Hope.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Hope. That’s your grandpa. Mikael. Mikael, come over here,” Esther said, and Mikael stood up, grumbling before coming over to them.

“Hello,” he said neutrally. “It’s good to meet you, Hope.”

“Hi,” Hope beamed innocently, none too bothered by the fact that unlike her aunts and uncles, her grandparents didn’t have any warmth about them. “I’m seven,” she added. Hayley noticed that the others had started to bring the food out, and she sighed, relieved.

“Alright, let’s have a seat!” Rebekah called.

“Right,” Hayley muttered a little awkwardly, just as Henrik came out of Rebekah and Marcel’s room, and joined Esther, Mikael and Hope. And, somehow Henrik managed to slowly start a conversation, so Hayley went to help Rebekah and Freya, and check on Elijah.

“You okay?” she asked a little breathlessly, touching his arm gently, and flashed him a small smile.

“Better now that you’re here,” he replied, his expression softened, and his lips curved into a tense smile. He grabbed the jug of water and lemonade while Hayley grabbed the bread basket, and the two of them made their way to the table. They all sat down, with Hope between herself and Elijah, and Freya beside her, and Mikael, Esther, Henrik and Kol all sat on the other side while Rebekah and Marcel sat on either end of the table. Marcel stood to pour drinks, and Hayley noticed Esther glance over at Elijah apprehensively.

“I’m fine,” he said, fixing his mother with a daring look. “Go ahead, Marcel,” he added.

“Cool,” Marcel shrugged and poured the drink, and Hayley accepted hers gratefully.

“Bon appetite,” Rebekah said with a smile, and they all began passing food around the table, though the atmosphere was awkward and tense. Thank God they were eating because no one seemed particularly inclined to make small talk.

“Are they always this…” Hayley muttered, trailing off as she glanced to Mikael and Esther. Thank God she was sitting on the other end of the table from them, across from Kol and next to Rebekah.

Rebekah pursed her lips, “sadly yes. Though, last time they were particularly awful

“Congratulations, Marcel on passing your boards,” Mikael said after a while, clearing his throat. 

“Thank you,” Marcel said with a forced smile. “Man, I was so nervous,” he added, shaking his head, and they all nodded.

“Well, you never forget your boards,” Elijah pointed out. “I remember mine. I threw up on the way there,” he added, and she gave him an amused look.

Mikael nodded, “or, you were too drunk,” he remarked, and Hayley noticed Elijah tense while everyone else except for Hope and Henrik turned and gaped at Mikael.

“Hey, Hope,” Henrik piped up, “you wanna go finish that movie?”

“Yeah! I’m done eating,” Hope said happily and stood up, not even noticing her uncle was pretty much just trying to leave the room as soon as possible. Then, she seemed to remember something, and she turned to Hayley. “Can I go, mommy?”

“Of course you can, sweetie,” Hayley said softly, and pressed a kiss to Hope’s forehead before nudging her away. But, as soon as the kids were out of earshot, the atmosphere changed immediately.

“Actually, I was sober most of my residency, Father,” Elijah snapped, flashing Mikael a glare. Mikael didn’t even flinch and just shrugged.

“Sure,” he grumbled.

Rebekah cleared her throat, “why don’t we toast to Marcel. Congratulations. I am so proud of you,” she said, giving Marcel a loving look, and Hayley smiled. Marcel smiled at her warmly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Marcel replied.

“Well, to Marcel!” Freya said, raising her glass, and everyone else did, too, clinking their glasses together.

It was Esther who spoke next, “so, now that you’ve passed your boards, Marcel, and Rebekah is secure in her career, have you two considered becoming more committed, and maybe growing your family?” she wondered, taking a sip of her wine. Hayley noticed Rebekah tense. “You don’t even have to get married, things are more modern these days,” she added.

“Really, Mother?” she rolled her eyes. “This again? I told you, we’ll do it when the time is right. We’re in no rush. And, don’t come at me with the ‘I want grandbabies’ argument, I’m sick and tired of it. I’m not gonna have a baby for _you_. I’m going to have a baby whenever it happens for _me_!” she snapped, then took a long sip of her wine. Hayley had to fight the urge to clap, and instead flashed Rebekah a quick smile.

“Honestly, Mother, why do you have to do every time?” Elijah asked, leaning forward slightly. “It’s getting extremely repetitive.”

“Watch your tone with your mother, Elijah,” Mikael growled. “And, what would you know? As parents, your Mother and I know what is best for you, and getting settled down is that,” he added firmly. Hayley licked her lips nervously, and glanced over at Elijah, but he was looking at his father.

“You think this is what’s best for us? Why don’t you let us decide what is best for us? I believe that the fact that we’re all grownups here gives us the right to decide what’s best!” he snapped angrily. [Suddenly, Hayley felt jealous of Klaus for opting out of dinner. Lucky bastard].

“Oh, believe me, Elijah, you don’t know what’s best for you! You’re hardly a model for success,” Mikael shot back, taking a long sip of his drink, and Hayley noticed Rebekah and Freya exchange a look while Elijah just pursed his lips. “You’ve sucked at just about everything in your life, except maybe your job. Couldn’t keep your wife entertained, so she had to look for it in another man’s bed. Couldn’t stay sober either. And, you weren’t even a very good father-”

“Don’t you dare say anything about that!” Elijah growled.

“Oh, there’s not much to say about that,” Mikael quipped, rolling his eyes. “What do you know about being a father?” he snorted, and Elijah flinched. “You’re not a father anymore.”

Nobody said anything after that, everyone simply staring at each other, speechless. Besides her, Hayley noticed that Elijah was so tense, glaring at his father.

Hayley stood up, unable to take it anymore. “You know what?” she snapped, glaring at both Esther and Mikael. “You keep saying how badly you want grandkids, and yet you have two and still don’t get it. Yes, two. Jonathan may be gone, but that doesn’t mean he never existed, which seems to be your approach. He was your grandson, Elijah’s son… and, for four years he was alive! So, stop acting like he never existed!” she snapped, and she watched as everyone just turned to stare at her. “And, as for Hope, your other grandchild, I won’t be bringing her over to these Mikaelson family dinners if you don’t stop acting like such dicks!” And, with that, she stood up abruptly. “I think we’ll be leaving now,” she added.

“I’ll go get Hope,” Freya muttered while Elijah stood up as well, and they headed to the door. Hope ran over to them, and wrapped her arms around Hayley’s middle as Elijah opened the door.

“Bye, everyone!” Hope yelled, and went to hug her aunts, Kol and Henrik, waving timidly at her grandparents before she ran to press the elevator button. Elijah followed after her, leaving only Hayley.

“I’d say this was a pleasure, but it really wasn’t,” Hayley added sarcastically. 

Rebekah cleared her throat, “Father, Mother-” she started but was cut off by Mikael.

“Don’t even bother kicking us out, Rebekah. We’re leaving as soon as they’re gone,” he said, and stood up. Hayley flashed everyone a quick smile, exchanged a hug with Rebekah and left herself.

* * *

The drive back from Rebekah’s was spent in awkward silence, Hope sleeping in the backseat. Hayley sat in the passenger’s seat, her mind spinning as the evening played on a loop in her mind while Elijah drove, looking straight ahead, his hands clutching the steering wheel tightly, so tightly his knuckles were white.

“You okay?” she finally asked, glancing over at him, unable to stay quiet much longer. Elijah didn’t say anything, his jaw set, his lips pressed together. Hayley sighed, “Elijah… say something, please,” she mumbled softly.

Finally, he turned to look at her, and the look in his eyes, glassy with unshed tears, the pain evident in them, the way his lips trembled slightly, was gut wrenching, and Hayley’s heart broke. “What would you have me say?” he almost hissed, gritting his teeth before he turned to look straight ahead again.

“I-” she cut herself off, and sighed again, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“However, I do apologize that you and Hope, but you especially had to see the latest Mikaelson family drama in its full glory,” he said guiltily.

“It’s- it’s fine,” she muttered. “I mean, we’re part of this family, too, so…” she trailed off, biting her lip. “I’m sorry though,” she added after a while, and bit her lip nervously, deciding not to say anything else.

“It’s-” he stopped himself and paused, taking a deep breath. “Family can be complicated, and ours is certainly more dysfunctional than most. It’s fine. I’m fine,” he said, but even as he said it, he sounded unsure. Hayley certainly didn’t believe him from the way his voice shook, but she didn’t say anything more. Elijah dropped his hand to the console between them, and she brushed her fingers against the back of his hand, but he pulled away, shaking his head. “Hayley, I- I can’t,” he muttered and shook his head. “Just- please just drop it,” he added sadly. Hayley nodded, but reached to rest her hand on top of his again, and Elijah let her, so she laced her fingers with his, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Finally, they reached her and Hope’s apartment, and Elijah parked before killing the engine. Hayley glanced back to find Hope was fast asleep in the backseat, and she smiled fondly.

“Hey, do you mind carrying Hope inside?” she asked, glancing over at Elijah.

“Of course, I don’t mind,” he smiled tensely, and the two of them got out before Elijah went and picked Hope up, holding her gently, her head resting against his chest. Hayley couldn’t help but smile at the sight, which filled her with warmth before she went ahead of Elijah to open the doors, and the elevator, unlocking the front door slowly so she wouldn’t make too much noise. Elijah carried Hope inside, and took her to her bedroom, setting her on the bed gently, and Hayley couldn’t help but smile as she watched Elijah take off Hope’s shoes before pressing a soft kiss to the seven-year-old’s forehead.

“Thanks,” Hayley whispered softly from the doorway. “I’ll change her and tuck her in properly.”

“Of course,” he said as he joined her and the two of them slowly made their way to the kitchen, and Hayley turned a few lights on which cast a soft, yellow glow, and she glanced over at Elijah as she leaned against the kitchen counter. He looked so tired, so exhausted, but there was something else, too. She walked over to him, and lifted her hands to cup his cheeks before pressing her lips to his. Elijah moved to wrap his own arms around her waist, and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. Their tongues tangled together for a few more seconds before Hayley slowly and reluctantly pulled away, brushing her nose against his.

“Thanks for the ride home,” she whispered softly against his lips. “And, I’m sorry dinner went so…” she trailed off, not sure exactly how to word it.

“Of course. Thank you for coming. I’m sorry you had to see it,” he mumbled against her lips.

“You know you can stay, right? I mean, we probably won’t get any action with Hope sleeping in the other room, but you can stay. We can have pancakes in the morning,” she said as she caressed his jaw with her thumb. Elijah froze, and shut his eyes briefly before opening them and stepping away from her.

“No, I-” he shook his head, and Hayley’s stomach flipped worriedly at how distressed he seemed.

“Elijah, wh- what’s wrong?” she asked as he leaned against the kitchen counter while she stood facing him. She reached for his hand, and he took it, lacing their fingers together before bringing it to his lips and pressing his lips against the back of her hand. “Elijah?” she repeated, and finally he looked up and met her gaze, and Hayley couldn’t help but wince at the pain evident in them.

“There is-” he started, but cut himself off, shaking his head before taking another deep breath. “There is this one memory I have from before,” he said slowly, sadly. “Before Katherine cheated, before I fell off the wagon. Before-” he cut himself off, sounding choked, and Hayley immediately knew what he meant to say. _Before Jonathan died_. “Our last morning as a family. Jonathan ran into our bedroom that morning,” he paused, and took another deep, shaky breath, his eyes filled with tears, “and, Katherine took him into our bed, and put him in between us. And, we cuddled and just-” he stopped once more, and looked away, and Hayley noticed him wipe at his eyes, and her own heart broke.

“Sounds like the perfect start to a morning,” she said softly, despite the fact that it immensely bothered her that Katherine was part of it, but she said nothing about that.

“It was,” Elijah muttered. “Then, I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Jonathan was there with me, playing with his dinosaurs, and he was so happy and careless…” Elijah trailed off, and Hayley squeezed his shoulder in comfort. “It was just such a perfect, normal morning, and I- I never realized how precious those mornings were, not until I didn’t have them anymore,” he said, almost choking on a sob, and sniffled, and she could see he was about to cry.

“Oh, Elijah…” she murmured softly, rubbing his arm lightly. “I’m so sorry,” she added sadly.

“That’s why I can’t stay,” he admitted. “Because if I do, I know how tomorrow morning will go, and I- I can’t. I’m sorry, but I just can’t,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion, and Hayley’s heart broke as realization clicked in her mind. He just didn’t want to replace that perfect morning with Jonathan and Katherine, even the memory of it, with one with her and Hope. And, the realization broke her heart.

“ _Oh_. Oh, Elijah,” she muttered, and felt tears threaten to fall from her own eyes. And then, she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Elijah stood motionless in her arms at first before he, too, wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, burying his face in her hair, and she felt something wet on her skin, and her heart just broke.


	15. You Turned Into Your Worst Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Mikaelson dinner. A patient at the hospital hits too close to home for Elijah.

Finally, after a few minutes, Elijah pulled away, and looked at her, but didn’t meet her gaze. His cheeks were tearstained, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. He pursed his lips, but she could tell they were still shaking. Hayley reached to wipe away the few tears that had fallen down her cheeks, then, reached her hand to cup Elijah’s cheek, wiping away his tears with her thumb.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, shaking his head, but his voice trembled. Hayley didn’t believe him for a second.

“You’re not fine, Elijah,” she said softly, and stepped closer towards him, but he pulled away, and stepped back. Hayley’s heart sank and her face fell. “Elijah-” she started slowly, but he interrupted her.

“I said I’m fine!” he snapped, and Hayley flinched, taking a step back away from him, her lower back hitting the kitchen counter. “I don’t- I’m fine!” he repeated, and she noticed his breathing had become more labored. She lifted her hand to reach for him, but then dropped it back down, not wanting to feel the hard slap of rejection. Elijah finally met her gaze, but his eyes were hard and cold, and Hayley’s stomach twisted painfully.

“Elijah, I was just- look, you know that what Mikael said is not true,” she said slowly, and bit her lip. Elijah’s eyes darkened at the mere mention of his father’s name, and he glared at her, his jaw set.

“Don’t!” he hissed angrily, shaking his head. “Don’t even- we don’t need to talk about this, Hayley,” he said coldly. “I told you, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” she nodded, though she didn’t believe him. But, if Elijah was pulling away, she wasn’t going to press him on this, afraid he would pull away entirely.

He opened his mouth, closed it, and swallowed back tears, blinking rapidly before he finally spoke, “I need to go,” he said simply, and turned to leave. This time, she stepped towards him and reached for him, her fingers curling around his arm.

“Elijah, please,” she said softly, pleadingly, and he finally turned to face her, and met her gaze.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you at work,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion. Hayley looked at him carefully, and licked her lips nervously. “I won’t go and drink if that’s what you’re worried about” he added coldly.

“That’s not what I-” she started, but he cut her off, his expression softening slightly.

“I’m fine, Hayley,” he said in a softer voice. And then, he tilted his head slightly and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. And then, he turned and walked out of her apartment, and Hayley let out a heavy sigh, her heart aching for Elijah.

She went and changed Hope out of her clothes, putting her in her Frozen-themed pajamas, and tucked her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead before she went back to the kitchen. She opened the cupboard and grabbed a glass before opening the other one and grabbing the bottle of red wine she still had opened and poured herself a glass before taking it and her phone and sitting down at the kitchen table. She took a sip, and then her phone buzzed. It was Rebekah.

“Hey,” Rebekah greeted her on the other end.

“Hey,” Hayley said, sniffling slightly, and reached to wipe away a stray tear before taking another sip of her wine.

“Oh no! Hayley, honey, are you crying?” Rebekah asked quickly.

“No,” Hayley said, but even as she said it her voice broke into a sob, and more tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Liar,” Rebekah quipped, a little teasingly. “What happened?” she asked, sobering up, but Hayley couldn’t say anything, and half-sobbed, putting her face in her hand as tears streamed down her face. “Hayley, what’s wrong?” Rebekah asked again, but Hayley didn’t say anything and just wept. “Hayley, please, say something,” Rebekah said, pleadingly as she continued to cry. “I- is it Hope?”

Hayley sniffled, and wiped her eyes, “no,” she mumbled brokenly, and took another sip of her wine. Rebekah let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank God,” she muttered. “Then, why are you- wait, is Elijah?” she asked, and Hayley whimpered slightly. “Oh bloody hell. What did that idiot do?” Rebekah asked, and Hayley could practically see her face palming.

“H- it- nothing, we just- I- I was just trying to…” Hayley blubbered, and broke off into a sob.

“You what? What happened, Hayley?” Rebekah demanded more firmly. “Hayley, whatever it is, you can tell me, you know that? I’m here for you. Do you want me to come over?”

“No,” she mumbled, her voice breaking.

“Do you want me to go smack my brother?”

Hayley half-chuckled, sniffling, “doubt that would help…”

“Then, tell me what happened!” Rebekah exclaimed. “I swear to God, Hayley, if he hurt you or-” Rebekah started, but Hayley cut her off.

“No! It’s nothing like- like that,” she said, and sniffled a little, wiping away her tears. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “He- he was just- I guess he was really upset from everything that happened at dinner. And, I was- I was trying to help… to talk about it, but he- I guess he didn’t want to,” she recounted, still blubbering a little, her eyes still stinging with tears.

“Oh,” Rebekah sighed on the other end. “And, let me guess, my brother did what he does best and pushed you away?”

“Something like that,” she muttered, taking another sip of her wine.

“Well, tonight was rather awful. I mean, I was sure it couldn’t top our last family dinner, but my parents just outdid themselves. And, not in a good sense. I’m so sorry you had to see it,” she said, her tone apologetic.

“Yeah…” Hayley sighed. There was a pregnant pause, and Hayley lifted the glass to her lips again, finishing it off.

“What else?” Rebekah said after a while.

“It- it’s nothing,” she muttered, but her voice broke.

But, Rebekah didn’t take that as an answer. “Hayley. What. Happened?” she pressed, her voice firm, but clearly concerned.

“I told you, Rebekah. It’s nothing… it’s complicated,” she muttered, and stood up to get herself another glass.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Hayley. And, don’t try getting out of this. I told you, I’m a lawyer. I read people for a living, and I can tell there is something else. And, I’m pretty good with cross-examinations. So, what did Elijah say?”

Hayley sighed in defeat, and took a sip of her wine, and felt tears prickle at her eyes. “He yelled at me. He left. And, before he did… he told me that he’s not going to drink if that’s what I was worried about,” she finally admitted. She heard Rebekah inhale sharply on the other end.

“Oh. What a bloody idiot,” Rebekah muttered, and Hayley could practically see her rolling her eyes. “I’m so sorry. Obviously, Elijah has his issues and our parents, especially our father made things worse tonight… Cami is so much better with the psychological analysis though, but that was completely uncalled for,” Rebekah said, and sighed heavily.

“Yeah…” Hayley trailed off, and took another sip of her wine. “I just- I thought that we were the kind of couple that would talk about these kind of things, and I tried, but he just- I guess we’re just not there yet,” she said sadly.

“I’m so sorry, Hayley,” Rebekah said. There was a pregnant pause as neither of them said anything, though Rebekah was obviously trying to think of what she could say. “Are you going to be okay?” she finally asked.

Hayley took another sip of her wine, and wiped at her eyes, “I don’t know,” she shrugged, though Rebekah couldn’t see her. “I don’t know,” she repeated in a small voice.

“Oh, Hayley,” Rebekah murmured. “I’m so sorry, love.”

“Yeah… me, too,” she said in a small, sad voice. “I should, uh, I should go shower and go to bed. I have a shift tomorrow, and I have to drop Hope off at school, and get to the hospital before rounds,” she added, slowly getting up and downing her wineglass.

“Alright, love. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Take care,” Rebekah said softly. “Goodnight.”

“Thanks, Bekah. Talk to you soon. Bye,” she said, and ended the call. She washed her glass quietly, then went to her room and showered before changing into pajamas and crawling into bed. But, being in bed, she was reminded of what she and Elijah had done a few nights before, and she could swear she could still smell his cologne on the pillow next to hers. With a groan, she turned away, and closed her eyes.

* * *

The next day, Hayley felt like absolute shit. She’d barely slept during the night, and kept tossing and turning. At 0600 she gave up on trying to sleep, and got out of bed to do some laundry, but even that didn’t take her mind off the events of the night before. The dinner had been even worse than she’d imagined, and Mikael and Esther had been absolutely awful. And, part of her was absolutely heartbroken for poor Elijah who had it more roughly than everyone else, and as she remembered what he’d told her when he refused to stay the night. But, the other part of her was hurt and angry from how he spoke to her after when she tried to help him. She sighed, and shook her head, trying to push it all away as she made Hope breakfast and got ready for work. Breakfast was quiet, except for Hope telling her about school, and that she was excited to see Aiden and Josh since she hadn’t seen them in a while. Hayley just smiled, and absently drank her coffee.

After dropping Hope off at school and kissing her goodbye, Hayley got into her car and drove to work. And, as if the universe was trying to play some cruel twisted joke, she rounded the hall that led to the residents’ locker room just as Elijah was coming from that direction. For a moment, everything seemed to stop as they stopped in front of each other, and their gazes met. Hayley opened her mouth, then closed it, sighing, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Elijah’s eyes were cold, and unwelcoming, but Hayley knew that that was hiding his real feelings, the pain he felt, and his jaw was set. They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Elijah swallowed, and walked past her. And, Hayley’s heart broke, but she just walked to the residents’ locker room which was thankfully empty. She changed into her scrubs quickly, leaving her henley on, and pulled her hair into a knot before going to check her assignment, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. She was in the E.R. with Keelin.

“Damn, girl,” the other resident said upon seeing her. “You look like hell. Rough night?”

“Something like that,” Hayley muttered. “What do you have for me?”

“Bed 5. Cops brought him in, heroin user,” Keelin said, handing her a chart. “His name’s Wesley Burns. He’s got no wallet, no drugs, but does have a copy of Flowers of Evil.”

“Fun,” Hayley sighed, took the chart, and made her way there. The patient was strapped to the bed. According to his chart, he’d OD’ed under a bridge and the paramedics had given him naloxone. He got all jacked up and tried to punch someone in the face. “So,” she said by way of greeting, “how much did you take,” she paused to check his chart again, “Wesley Burns?”

“It’s Wes. And, a lot, I guess, cause I’m here,” he said. “Can you please unstrap me?”

“Nope, can’t do that. You’re sick, you need to stay so we can treat you,” she told him, and went to listen to his chest.

“I need to go. Seriously,” Wes grumbled.

“Sorry, but that’s a no,” she said as she continued to listen, moving her stethoscope around.

“Look, my friend owes me $50 and I need to go get them, ‘kay, hon?”

“Don’t call me ‘hon’,” she snapped. “Now, hush so I can listen.” Then, she went to check his track marks. “Hey, Gia!” she called, and the nurse came over to her. “These track marks look infected, looks like cellulitis. Get me 2 grams of cefazolin,” she ordered, before going to the nurse’s desk. “Give me a skin marker,” she requested. “Where’s Dr. Laughlin?”

“O.R. 4,” the nurse told her, handing her the marker.

“Right. So, I guess, I get to deal with Mr. Flowers of Evil over there,” she grimaced, then returned to the bed and began circling his injection marks. Then, she turned to Gia, “can you also do an aerobic and anaerobic swab and blood cultures to make sure there’s no strep in there?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Okay, Wes, I’ll be back to check on you soon,” she told him. “Just stay calm, or these don’t come off,” she added.

After dealing with another patient, she got the labs back for Wes.

“Page ortho, we’re dealing with necrotizing fasciitis here,” she said with a sigh before going to check on Wes, who was getting sweaty.

A few minutes later, Hayley looked up to find none other than Elijah Mikaelson walking towards them, and she groaned. Of all the ortho doctors at St. John’s, they had to page Elijah. Once he saw her, he stopped for a second, and opened his mouth as if to say something, but shook his head, and closed it.

“Wesley Burns. Prefers Wes. OD’ed under a bridge. He’s tachy, febrile, temp’s 104. And, this infection’s getting worse,” she informed him.

“Okay, Wes,” Elijah said by way of greeting. “I’m Dr. Mikaelson, and it looks like you have necrotizing fasciitis, or flesh-eating disease. It’s extremely serious, we need to get you to an O.R. and try to stop the infection from spreading,” he told the patient.

“Oh, God! It’s really bad, isn’t it? Am I gonna lose my arm? Crap!” Wes groaned, shaking.

“I’m going to try everything I can, but yes, that’s a possibility,” Elijah told him. Then, he turned to Gia. “Gia, 4.5 grams of pip-tazo and call ahead to the O.R. We’ve got an ‘A’ case here. Tell Dr. Laughlin to come to the O.R. once she’s out of surgery and ask for a scrub nurse,” he ordered, moving to the head of Wes’ bed and began rolling him.

“Wh- what are you gonna do to me?” Wes asked anxiously.

“Well, Wes, Dr. Mikaelson here is gonna try and save your life,” she told him as she went to help Elijah move him.

“We’re gonna cut your arm, see if the tissue’s still good. We’re going to irrigate the wound and try to flush the bacteria out,” Elijah said as they rolled him into the elevator.

“Wait. You have to cut my arm?”

“Possibly, yes. If the infection’s spread like I’m assuming it has, Wes, you might be facing amputation,” he said as the elevator came to a stop on the O.R. floor and they rolled him out.

“This infection spreads incredibly fast, Wes,” Hayley added, and glanced over at Elijah. He met her gaze, briefly, then looked away.

“Once you are put under, Wes, we won’t be able to wake you up to ask you any questions. If it comes down to it, it could be your arm or your life,” Elijah told him.

“I- I don’t wanna die! Please don’t let me die!” Wes stammered.

“Life over limb,” Hayley muttered.

“Good,” Elijah nodded. “Sabine!” he yelled.

“Yes?”

“Prep him, get him into surgery. Dr. Marshall and I are scrubbing in,” he said.

“Okay,” Sabine said, and took charge of taking Wes into the O.R. while Hayley followed Elijah to the scrub room, and noticed he was wearing his dinosaur-themed scrub cap.

“Are we okay with this?” she asked as she tied her mask.

Elijah glanced over at her, “what do you mean?”

“Working together.”

“I’m fine with it. If you have a problem, Dr. Marshall, you can go,” he said coldly.

Hayley sighed, “nope, no problem,” she muttered, and began to scrub.

* * *

The surgery was thankfully a success, though they didn’t manage to save the patient’s arm, and Elijah followed Hayley into the scrub room. Jo didn’t manage to get in, but he and Hayley managed to deal with it themselves, despite the slight awkwardness. And, now that the surgery was over, it was just the two of them in the scrub room, the atmosphere so thick and awkward, you could cut through it with a knife. They scrubbed out quickly, and he finished before Hayley, and stopped at the door, and turned to face her. He opened his mouth, and there were a thousand things he wanted to say, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, not here not now. So, he closed his mouth, pursed his lips, and left.

He had to check on a patient in the ICU and was walking there when he was stopped by his sister’s shrill voice.

“Elijah Mikaelson, you bloody idiot!” Rebekah practically shrieked, and he turned to face her.

“Hello, Rebekah, how are you?” he said, but his sister wasn’t taking any bullshit.

“Don’t ‘hello Rebekah’ me! You’re a fucking arsehole, you know that?” she snapped. Elijah sighed, defeated. He was pretty certain as to why his sister was mad at him, but he wasn’t going to let her yell at him in the middle of the damn hospital.

“Not here,” he said, and grabbed her hand. “My office,” he muttered, and led her to the ortho wing. Finally, they reached his office, and he opened it, ushering Rebekah in before entering himself and shutting the door behind him.

“Okay, go ahead,” he said, crossing his arms. “I know why you’re pissed, so lay it on me,” he added.

“Are y- are you drunk?” Rebekah demanded loudly. She was livid, her blue eyes blazing as she glared at him.

“What? For fuck’s sake, Rebekah! Why is that always the underlying assumption with you?” he snapped. “I can’t have one bad day, and you immediately assume I’ve spiraled out of control!”

“Well, you’ve reduced your girlfriend to tears, so excuse me for thinking the worst!” Rebekah bit back, and he immediately flinched.

“I-” he cut himself off, and sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“The poor girl was sobbing on the phone last night,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “What the hell happened? I thought things were going well with you two,” she said, looking at him with concern.

“We were,” he muttered.

“So, then what happened?”

“I- I was just having a bad day. Not added in the least by our parents,” he said weakly.

“That’s hardly an excuse, Elijah. I’ve seen criminals with better excuses,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. He hung his head, ashamed. “That girl, Hayley, she- all she wanted to do was talk, and for whatever reason you decided to yell and accuse her of expecting you to go and get drunk?” she added, still angrily. “Look, you can get pissed at us, at our parents, but not at Hayley. Not for this. Because as far as I know, she trusts you with your recovery more than the rest of us,” Rebekah continued, and Elijah bowed his head, nodding.

“You are right, sister,” he muttered. “I- I don’t really have an excuse. I was angry, and on edge…” he trailed off, and sighed. Rebekah just shook her head.

“That’s no excuse, Elijah. But, you clearly- clearly, something _was_ going on with you,” she said, gritting her teeth, her arms crossed over her chest as if she was cross-examining him. Elijah just swallowed, but didn’t say anything. “I bloody hope Hayley gets a better explanation than this,” she added.

“I am well aware I fucked up, Rebekah,” he muttered, defeated. “I know this is on me, I know that. And, maybe I don’t have an excuse, but I-” he cut himself off, and swallowed thickly while Rebekah watched him carefully, seeming to understand that he wasn’t arguing her point. And then, realization seemed to dawn on Rebekah because she stared at him.

“Oh my God,” she muttered. “You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?” he asked, shocked by her change of attitude.

“You are! You have! Oh, come on, Elijah, you’ve fallen for her, admit it,” she said, and her lips stretched into a slow smile. Elijah felt chills run down his spine. His sister could be scary, sometimes. “But, something happened last night, and it made you pull away and lash out in true Mikaelson fashion,” she continued, smirking slightly.

“It’s not an excuse,” he mumbled sadly. “There’s no excuse for how I acted towards Hayley.”

“There isn’t,” Rebekah agreed, nodding sadly. “But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize to her and tell her whatever it is you’re not telling me,” she added, her tone softer this time.

He just sighed, and leaned against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest, and hung his head in shame. “What if- what if she doesn’t understand, or forgive me, I-” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “I’ve really fucked things up, Rebekah.”

Rebekah’s expression softened, and she stepped closer to him, reaching to rest her hand on his shoulder. “She still deserves the truth. And, you have to tell her, Elijah,” she told him gently. “She just might surprise you,” she added with a small smirk. “Look, I’m not Cami, but I won’t lie to you. You fucked up and you were an arse to her, but she does care about you, and if you tell her the truth she might at least understand. I won’t make any guarantees about her forgiveness, but you should at least try. Like I said, she just might surprise you,” she told him softly.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, uncertain.

“Alright, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting. But, I’ll see you later. And, if you hurt Hayley more, or cause her to break up with you, I will come for you,” she told him, completely serious. Then, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and turned around and walked out of his office, leaving him there.

* * *

The door to the rooftop shut behind him with a loud bang, and he saw Hayley jump before she finally turned, and her face fell upon seeing it was him. He took a deep breath, and licked his lips, and took a step towards her. She was leaning against the railing, one hand resting on it, and he could see that she’d been crying, and his heart ached, his stomach twisting with guilt. She was crying because of him. _God, he’d really screwed up._ The best thing that happened to him, and he’d fucked it up. _How could he have been this stupid?_ ‘You’re falling for her, admit it,’ his sister’s words played on a loop in his mind. He shook his head. It didn’t matter what he felt for her, he’d hurt her and all he could do now was to tell her the truth and ask for her forgiveness. He certainly didn’t deserve it, but he would try.

“Hayley, I-” he cut himself off and took a shaky breath.

“Come to yell at me some more?” she snapped, and he winced.

He bowed his head, “I deserved that,” he sighed, and licked his lips. “No, I just... wanted to talk,” he said slowly, taking another step closer to her.

“Oh. So, now you want to talk?” she remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“I deserved that, too,” he muttered, and averted his gaze, sighing again. “Hayley, I am so sorry for what I said, for how I acted... there is no apology for that,” he shook his head, and paused, “I was- I was out of line.”

“Yeah, you were,” she pursed her lips, and sighed, “look, Elijah, I get that your parents are horrible people, and your father was a dick to you last night, but that doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me!”

“You are right,” he nodded. “I- I suppose I was just… I was on edge, Hayley, and I-” he started, but she cut him off.

“I get that. But, that’s not an excuse,” she said, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“No, it’s not,” he said, hanging his head. “But, the things they said… they’re things I’ve said to myself hundreds – no, thousands – of times,” he added sadly, and he heard her inhale sharply.

“Elijah,” she muttered, her voice gentler than before, and she stepped closer to him.

“And, I know what you were going to say last night,” he paused again, and leaned against the rooftop himself, “to make me feel better. And, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to feel better… I don’t deserve to feel better,” he finished, and felt a tear slide down his cheek, and he wiped it away quickly.

“Elijah-” she started, but he cut her off.

“It’s not excuse. There is no excuse for my behavior last night, I know that,” he shook his head, and licked his lips. “But, I am sorry for- all of it… for yelling at you, for accusing you of expecting me to get drunk…” he trailed off, and he heard her inhale sharply. _So, that was what had bothered her._

Hayley took a deep breath, “I didn’t deserve any of that, Elijah. I was only trying to be there for you after what happened during dinner. It hurt, I admit that. And, the thing is, Elijah,” she paused for a second, and met his gaze, and his stomach twisted at the pain evident in her beautiful hazel eyes, “I trust you, Elijah. Ever since you told me… about your past, and your drinking, I- I’ve trusted you. I still do. I let you take the lead. But, the fact that you didn’t believe that I trusted you? That hurt. That really hurt,” she admitted, and it was like a knife was being twisted in his chest. Elijah felt tears prickle at his eyes, and he blinked them back. 

“I- I am sorry. I’m not- I’m not used to being trusted,” he admitted. “My siblings, my parents… they all treat me with kid gloves, and I’m tired of it. I know you’re different, but in that moment, I- I wasn’t thinking Hayley. I was hurt, and I- I lashed out,” he said, his tone filled with regret, and hung his head in shame. Neither of them said anything for the next few seconds, both of them just taking it in. Finally, he looked up, and took a deep breath. “Hayley, I don’t- I don’t have an explanation for my behavior last night, for saying the things I said… or, well, my explanation isn’t good enough, I know,” he said, his voice filled with self-loathing.

Her expression softened, “try me,” she quipped softly, meeting his gaze again.

“Jonathan wasn’t just in the back of my mind yesterday,” he started, and paused, and felt tears threaten to fall, and he heard Hayley’s breath hitch in her throat. “I- I was on edge from the moment I woke up because I had a nightmare. Not, just a nightmare, it was… a memory. You know how Jonathan died,” he said, and swallowed back tears, and heard Hayley sigh. “I was still out of it when they called me about the accident. I don’t even- I don’t even know how I made it to the hospital, but somehow I did. Katherine was in surgery, and I- they brought him into the trauma room, and were getting ready to take him into surgery, but he, uh, he crashed, and I- the doors were open, and I-” he cut himself off, and choked on a sob, and he felt Hayley’s fingers brush against the back of his hand hesitantly. He kept going, “I watched them try to resuscitate him… and, nothing… just yelling “clear” and shocking him, but nothing… over and over again…” he trailed off, and a few tears fell down his cheeks, and Hayley rested her hand on top of his. “In reality, they did manage to bring him back, and rushed him to the O.R., but he, uh, he didn’t make it… there was just too much damage, and…” he trailed off, and let out an agonized sob, and he felt Hayley’s body against his, felt her curl herself around him, tucking her chin over his shoulder as he let out another sob as the memory played in his mind on an endless loop.

“Oh my God, Elijah, I am so sorry,” she mumbled into his ear while he wept brokenly. It felt like his chest was on fire, like he couldn’t breathe, and all he could do was cry while gasping for air as Hayley held onto him. “Shh,” she muttered softly, and rubbed his back gently, “shh, Elijah… take deep breaths,” she murmured, and he clung to her voice. “Just like this,” she mumbled, and inhaled slowly, and he tried to do the same, taking in a ragged breath, and they exhaled together. “There you go,” she whispered. “C’mon, take another deep breath,” she urged, and he did as instructed before letting it out shakily. They did this a few more times until he finally managed to get control of his breathing, and he wiped his cheeks. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you. I- I’m sorry that you had to see that,” he mumbled, looking away, ashamed.

“Don’t apologize,” she said softly. “And, don’t be ashamed, Elijah. You had a panic attack reliving your son’s death, there’s no shame in that. So, please don’t apologize,” she told him gently, but firmly. He nodded.

He took a deep, shaky breath, “in my nightmare, though, they didn’t get him back, and I watched as they tried, but nothing… I woke up screaming his name,” he admitted. “And, that was all I could think about yesterday,” he hesitated, and blinked back another influx of tears, “I- it took everything… it was all I could do to concentrate on something else- anything else… you…” he trailed off, and felt another tear fall down his cheek, and he wiped it away.

“And, then dinner and what your parents said,” she muttered, understanding clicking. “Oh, Gods… I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she said softly, and he noticed her eyes, too, were glassy with unshed tears.

“Don’t,” he whispered hoarsely. “I don’t deserve that, it’s not an excuse,” he added sadly.

“Elijah…” Hayley trailed off, clearly trying to think of something to say.

“But, that’s all I have, Hayley. I- sometimes, it’s all I can do to get through the day, and I- you deserve better than that,” he finally said, his voice shaking with emotion. “You deserve better than a broken drunk that can barely get through the day sober sometimes,” he added, hanging his head in shame.

“Elijah,” she said softly, and reached to cup his cheek, forcing him to turn and face her, “you are not broken,” she said firmly, though her voice was soft. “You are strong, the strongest man I know… Gods, sometimes, I have to admit that I- I don’t even know how you’re standing after everything you’ve been through,” she revealed, and his breath hitched in his throat. “And, alcoholism is a disease, but you are in recovery, and you are strong for getting through every day sober,” she added, her lips curving into a tender smile. “Okay?”

Reluctantly, he nodded, “thank you,” he said softly. “I- you didn’t have to-” he started, but she cut him off.

“To what? To be kind? To be understanding? Elijah, I care about you, you know that. And, I’m not heartless. I was just hurt and upset. And, you not letting me be there for you only made it worse,” she told him, her tone much lighter than before, a little teasing. He nodded, and blinked back tears.

“Please forgive me for pushing you away, for lashing out,” he paused, “for being an ass,” he finished, his voice filled with regret, and Hayley chuckled softly on the last part.

“Yeah, you were an ass. But, I forgive you,” she said softly, though a little teasingly, and Elijah let out a breath he’d been holding, his shoulders slumping in relief.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and his lips stretched into a hesitant smile. Hayley brushed her nose lightly against his, and he closed his eyes, relaxing. And then, she brushed her lips against his lightly, and he deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. It was a soft, lingering sort of kiss, their tongues tangling together. When air became a necessity, Hayley slowly pulled away, though Elijah still held onto her, his hands gripping her waist firmly as he rested his forehead against hers. God, she was so perfect and she’d forgiven him for hurting her, and he most certainly didn’t deserve her. But, he needed her. And, he wanted her. For heaven’s sake, he was falling for her.

* * *

Davina Claire had just gotten back from a call, when the horn blared, and another call was announced. MVC. Intersection of Willow and Hillary street. Truck ran a red light and crashed into a vehicle. Two victims. Davina quickly ran to the ambulance, and got in beside Ollie while everyone got into the truck and ladder. The ride there was a blur, and as soon as the ambulance stopped, Davina and Ollie got out and raced to the victims of the vehicle while two of the others went to the driver of the truck, and their captain radioed for additional ambulance units.

“Claire!” her captain yelled. “What do we have?” Davina looked to the driver’s side, and froze. Oh God. It was Aiden. Josh’s boyfriend. “Claire?” her captain snapped again, and she shook her head. She would do her job now, and deal with everything else later.

“Uh, yeah. Driver. Adult male in his twenties. Airbag went off. He has some head lacerations, but we won’t know more until we get him out,” she said. Aiden groaned. “Aiden?” she called out softly. “You were in an accident. We’re here to help, okay?”

“Ow… this hurts…” he mumbled, drowsily.

“Okay, Aiden, you probably have a concussion, and you may have some spinal damage, but we won’t know until we get to the hospital. I’m going to stabilize your neck, you can’t move, okay?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes tightly in pain.

“Collar!” she ordered, holding out her hand, and one of her teammates handed it to her, and she quickly put it on. “Okay, Aiden, does it hurt anywhere?”

“My head…”

“You banged it against the airbag probably. Probably have some crush injuries, but won’t know much until we get you out. Just hang tight, okay?” she said gently, smiling at him. Then, she turned to her captain. “Okay, Cap, we need to get him out,” she said, and tried the door, but it didn’t open. “We need to get in here with the jaws, and have a gurney ready!” she yelled and stepped back as the captain and another team member came to pry the door open with the jaws. Then, they rushed to pull Aiden out, and began assessing him for injuries. “Okay, no broken bones, probably some bruised ribs. Let’s get him into the ambulance,” she ordered, and they quickly put him inside while Ollie was with the other victim. “Ollie! You coming?”

“Yeah. Station 26 is gonna take the kid,” he called out, and came to their ambulance, jumping into the driver’s seat. Station 26 began rolling the gurney with the kid towards their ambulance, and Davina froze upon seeing the kid. Because it wasn’t just any kid. She knew that kid. Oh God. But, she didn’t quite manage to register this because her teammates were gesturing for her to get in the back with Aiden. Davina jumped in.

The ride to St. John’s was a blur. All Davina could concentrate on was monitoring Aiden’s vitals.

“What’s our ETA, Ollie?”

“We’re 5 minutes out.”

“Damn it,” she huffed as she noticed Aiden’s SATs dropping. “His SATs are dropping. We need to intubate,” she said. “Crap, he’s got pericardial effusion,” she added after taking a look at the monitor.

“You can’t do that from here,” Ollie informed her. “We’re 4 minutes out.” Davina rolled her eyes, then reached for the radio.

“This is RA 25,” she said into the radio.

“Copy RA 25,” a woman’s voice said on the other end.

“We are incoming with an adult male in his twenties. He’s got pericardial effusion, though I’m not one-hundred percent sure, so have cardio on the standby,” she said. “And, he’s got a head injury, too.”

“Okay. Copy that.”

“Thanks. And, second ambulance has a child with multiple crush injuries and internal bleeding. Have peds, general and ortho on the standby,” she added.

“Got it. Thank you RA 25. What’s your ETA now?”

“Four minutes out.”

“Copy that. See you.” And, the radio clicked.

“Okay, Ollie, I’m gonna intubate now!”

“Are you crazy?”

“Nope. But, I’m not letting my best friend’s boyfriend die in this ambulance,” she said. “Scope,” she ordered. “Steady him.”

“Here you go.”

“Okay, steady now,” she muttered as she put the scope into his mouth. “E.T. tube!” she yelled, holding her hand out. “Ollie, I need you to be careful now!”

“Man, you’re crazy, Claire!” Ollie grumbled from the front, but Davina ignored him, rolling her eyes, and slowly inserted the tube down Aiden’s throat.

“Okay, I got it! Bag him now!” she ordered just as the ambulance came to a stop, and the doors opened to reveal Hayley Marshall.

“What do we have?”

“Twenty-eight-year-old male from an MVC. Airbag went off, but he suffered some crush injuries, and has a possible head injury. Intubated him in the ambulance,” she reported.

The resident stared at her in shock. “You intubated in an ambulance? While it was moving?”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly as they pulled Aiden out of the ambulance, and Davina noticed Hayley freeze momentarily. “His SATs were dropping. There was no time to waste, I wasn’t going to let him die!” As she said this, three doctors exited the hospital, and Davina heard the other ambulance roar to a stop.

“Okay, let’s take him inside to trauma bay 1,” Hayley said calmly, and they rolled him inside. The others rolled him into the trauma room, but Davina stopped upon noticing Kol, and breathed out a sigh of relief. Kol, too, noticed her, and flashed her his trademark devilish grin.

“Davina Claire,” he said by way of greeting, and walked over to her. “What brings you here?” he asked.

“Patient,” she said simply, and looked around. “Kol,” she bit her lip, “there’s something you need to know.”

Kol immediately stiffened, “what’s wrong, love?”

“Not here,” she muttered, and grabbed his arm, pulling him aside behind a wall.

“Davina?”

Davina took a deep breath, “this is harder than I thought,” she murmured, her heart hammering in her chest.

“It’s okay, love. Just breathe. What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Kol… the other ambulance- the other victim,” she started slowly, taking a few deep breaths and exhaling.

“What?” Kol asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. “What is it?”

“It’s Hope,” she finally said, letting out a breath she’d been holding, and she watched as the color drained from Kol’s face.

“Hope? You don’t mean-”

“Yeah, Kol. I mean Hope Marshall your niece,” she told him, and instinctively reached for him as he blinked rapidly, his eyes glassy with tears. “Kol, I-” she started to say, but he pulled away.

“No, I- I can’t do this right now. I, uh, I need to get Hayley out of the trauma bay. I need to get someone to replace her. Fuck. Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. She looked just like she did in the picture you showed me. It’s Hope. Oh, Kol, I’m so sorry,” she said tearfully. Kol nodded slowly.

“Okay, uh, I have to go. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later,” he said, and turned and left. Davina sighed heavily before heading to the nurses’ desk to sign the chart. [She would have to call Josh later to tell him about Aiden. Her shift had gone from bad to worse, and it wasn’t even midnight].

* * *

“Thank you,” Elijah whispered hoarsely, and tilted his head to press a kiss to Hayley’s forehead. She relaxed, her lips curving into a slow smile as she rested her hands on his chest. And then, Hayley’s pager beeped. It was a Code Blue in the ICU.

“I have to go,” she said apologetically.

“It’s okay. I should go deal with some paperwork. I’ll see you later?” he asked hopefully.

She smiled, “yeah. See you soon,” she said softly, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before she turned and left. Elijah sighed, before he, too, made his way off the roof, and back into the hospital.

He was in the middle of doing paperwork when his pager beeped. It was the E.R. There was an incoming, and they needed ortho STAT, so he stood up, his papers long forgotten, and left for the E.R. He grabbed a yellow gown from there, and went outside, passing by Hayley who was bringing a patient into the trauma room. Outside, he found Klaus, Marcel, and Keelin and they helped each other with the yellow trauma gowns just as the ambulance came to a skidding stop in front of them.

“What do we have?” he asked automatically as soon as the doors to the ambulance opened. Elijah looked down, and froze as soon as he saw the patient.

“Seven-year-old female Hope Marshall. Was in the back of the vehicle when the truck collided. Multiple crush injuries, open tibia fracture on the left side, alert and responsive on the scene, lost consciousness en route. GCS of 10, possible concussion. We’re worried about internal bleeding and cardiac tamponade,” the paramedic reported, but the words washed over Elijah as if he was underwater. He heard someone inhale sharply.

_“They were on the way from school. Car ran the red light and T-boned into them. Katherine is alright, she’s in surgery, we’re trying to stabilize her.”_

_“A- and Jon?” he managed to ask, his words slurred. Rose said nothing, and took a deep breath as if bracing herself. Elijah’s heart started beating harder. At that moment, Code Blue was announced through the speakers, and a loud beeping came from one of the trauma rooms. The doors opened, and a few nurses ran in with a crash cart. Elijah stumbled in that direction automatically, as if deep down he knew._

His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt that familiar feeling like his chest was on fire and he couldn’t breathe once more, and he stumbled back.

“Dr. Mikaelson? Is everything okay?” Keelin asked worriedly.

“I- I can’t…” he managed to say, and trailed off, feeling like his throat was closing.

“Dr. Mikaelson?” the resident repeated, confused.

“Fuck!” Niklaus cursed as he finally realized what was wrong. “He can’t treat her. Neither of us can. She’s my daughter,” he said.

“Oh, God,” Marcel muttered. Then, he turned to Elijah. “Look, man, you should- you should go find Hayley,” he said quietly. _Hayley_. She was with the other patient. Elijah turned, still in a haze, and walked back inside. He had to find Hayley. He had to be there for her. His heart was hammering in his chest, and his throat was closed up, his mind spinning. Hope. That sweet little girl. His niece. Hayley’s _daughter_. She was hurt. Ever since Jonathan, he’d pulled away from most of his family, fearing that the rug would be pulled from under him, that he could spare himself the pain this way. But then, Hayley Marshall and Hope had walked into his life. And, while he was falling for Hayley, he couldn’t deny that he had become attached to her little girl. His niece. He’d thought he was prepared for just about anything after Jonathan. But, nothing could prepare him for this. And, he couldn’t lose someone else he cared about. Especially when that someone – Hope – reminded him of his loss so much.


	16. Something Med School Did Not Cover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Hope and Aiden's accident. While doctors rush to treat Hope, Elijah comforts Hayley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is A LOT of angst in this chapter. I apologize for the tears. Also, flashbacks are in italics.

“What do we have?” Hayley asked as soon as the doors to the ambulance opened, and the familiar brunette paramedic stepped out.

“Twenty-eight-year-old male from an MVC. Airbag went off, but he suffered some crush injuries, and has a possible head injury. He’s got pericardial effusion. Intubated him in the ambulance,” she reported, and Hayley’s eyes widened.

“You intubated in an ambulance? While it was moving?” she asked, staring at the paramedic in shock.

“Yes,” she said breathlessly as they pulled the patient out of the ambulance, and Hayley finally looked down, and froze. Oh Gods. This wasn’t just any patient. This was Aiden. Crap. Hayley shook herself off, _Now’s not the time._ “His SATs were dropping. There was no time to waste, I wasn’t going to let him die!” The paramedic explained, annoyed, and Hayley noticed her badge read Claire. _So, that’s her name. Or, at least, her last name._

“Okay, let’s take him inside to trauma bay 1,” Hayley said calmly, and they rolled him inside just as Elijah, Marcel, Keelin and Klaus exited the E.R., probably having been paged for the next victim. Hayley flashed Elijah a small smile, and he nodded at her, but she needed to go. “Page cardio, Dr. Laughlin and Dr. Fell STAT!” she yelled as they rolled Aiden into the trauma bay. “Okay, let’s move him. One, two, three,” she said, and they transferred him onto the bed.

“What do we have?” Jo asked as she entered.

“Twenty-eight-year-old male from an MVC. Airbag went off, but he suffered some crush injuries, and has a possible head injury. He’s got pericardial effusion. Paramedics intubated him en route,” she reported.

“Intubated en route? Got a rogue paramedic, I see,” Jo quipped, and Hayley rolled her eyes. “Okay, run a FAST, check for paralysis, and page Dr. Fell for a neuro exam. Have you paged cardio?”

“Yes,” Hayley replied breathlessly, and turned to the nurse again. “Page cardio here STAT!” she ordered. There was a commotion outside, but Hayley ignored it as she grabbed the ultrasound device. “FAST is negative,” she reported. Then, she turned to an intern. “Get a CBC, and we need to get him up to imaging,” she ordered.

“Okay, I need to go, they’re paging me for the other victim. Keep me updated on this one, okay?” Jo said, and Hayley nodded before the trauma surgeon turned and left just as Kol Mikaelson entered.

“Why is it that every time I ask for cardio they page you?” Hayley asked, huffing.

“Because you appreciate my good looks?” Kol quipped, smirking, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Nice try,” she retorted, glaring at him. Then, she stepped closer to Aiden. “Okay, Aiden, listen to me,” she said softly. “It’s me. Hayley. You’re at St. John’s hospital. You were in an accident,” she explained, and Aiden croaked, but she shook her head. “No, don’t try to talk, there’s a tube down your throat. It’s helping you breathe,” she said gently. “It’s going to be okay, Aiden. You’re going to be okay,” she told him, trying to sound sure, but a part of her couldn’t help but think the worst.

Kol cleared his throat, and Hayley looked up, “Dr. Marshall, please step away from the patient,” he requested, his voice firm, though there was something else, something Hayley couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Excuse me? Kol, this guy’s my friend, and he needs the best. And, right now, the best is me,” she said firmly.

“I’m aware of how good you are,” Kol sighed. “But, please, step away from the patient,” he repeated, and Hayley just stared at him, confused.

“What- what are you talking about?” she asked, shaking her head.

Kol huffed just as the doors to the trauma bay opened to reveal Elena Gilbert.

“You paged?” she asked, her eyes darting between herself and Kol. “Is everything okay?”

“I need you to switch with Dr. Marshall,” Kol barked.

“Kol, what the hell is going on?” she asked as Elena turned to Kol.

“Kol, I outrank you, so don’t go giving me orders!” she snapped, flashing him a glare. Kol groaned.

And then, something occurred to Hayley. It was afternoon, around the time Hope finished school. And, Aiden was driving and there was another victim. Hayley blinked rapidly, and her heart hammered in her chest as she remembered that she’d passed by Elijah, Klaus, Keelin and Marcel on her way inside. Marcel. Peds. _Oh, Gods, no._

“Elena!” Kol snapped. “I’m not talking to you as your colleague, I’m talking to you as a Mikaelson. Switch with Dr. Marshall right now!” he yelled. Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. What Kol and Elena said next, Hayley didn’t hear. She felt like she was drowning, like she couldn’t breathe, and her heart was pounding.

“Kol!” she yelled, feeling as if she was about to burst into tears any second now. Kol turned to her, as if just now realizing. “Kol,” she repeated, more slowly this time, her voice shaking, “who is the other victim?” she asked tearfully.

Kol looked at her, a somber expression on his face, “I’m sorry, love,” he said sadly, and Hayley felt as if the earth was spinning, and she felt like she couldn’t even feel her own body anymore.

“No,” she murmured softly, shaking her head. “No, no, no, no,” she shook her head, horrified as she continued to just stand there. Monitors started beeping, and she felt Elena push her aside as she went to treat Aiden, but Hayley just stood there motionless. She heard Kol shout orders, but she didn’t hear him. It felt like she was underwater. The doors opened, and she felt a set of arms around her, gripping her gently, but firmly, and it took her a moment to realize it was Elijah.

“Hayley,” he said softly, “Hayley, I’m here,” he murmured as he pulled her away, and out of the room. Outside, the E.R. was in chaos, doctors running towards trauma room 2, barking orders, but Hayley didn’t hear what they were saying. “Come on,” Elijah urged, his voice soft in her ear as he gently pulled her away, but she stopped, and shook her head. “What is it?”

“Hope,” she muttered, almost choking on a sob.

“I know,” he said sadly. “I know. Marcel has her,” he told her, and tried to pull her away again, but she couldn’t move.

“I- I have to see her. I have to see her,” she said, her own voice faraway, and pulled away, but Elijah still held onto her. 

“No, Hayley don’t,” he said softly, shaking his head. “You don’t- you don’t want to- Hayley, trust me, you don’t want to go in there. You think you do, but you really don’t because-” he continued, but she cut him off.

“Don’t, Elijah,” she almost growled, the sound so feral, Hayley was shocked it could come from her. She pulled away, but he didn’t let her.

“Hayley, please, listen to me,” he said pleadingly, and reached to cup her cheek with his other hand. “Trust me, you don’t want to do this-” he repeated, but she didn’t let him finish.

“Don’t you dare tell me what I want! Hope isn’t Jonathan!” she snapped, cutting him off, and wrenched herself out of his grasp, heading for trauma bay 2, knowing as if on instinct that Hope was there.

“Hayley, wait!” Elijah called out after her, but she ignored him as she raced to the trauma room, and the moment the doors opened, she gasped, horrified. Her little girl was lying motionless on the gurney, tubes and wires surrounding her, and doctors were poking and prodding her. Someone looked up. It was Marcel.

“Marshall? What the hell are you doing here?” the peds surgeon asked, staring at her in shock. “You can’t be in here. Hey, M- Hayley, you can’t be in here,” he said.

“Hope,” she gasped, and felt tears spill onto her cheeks. “Hope, sweetie, wake up! Hope! Hope!” she cried as she moved, in a trance, closer to her daughter.

“No,” Marcel shook his head, “no, Hayley, you can’t be in here,” he said, but she wasn’t listening to him. “Somebody get her out of here!” he shouted once it was obvious she wasn’t listening to him. Hayley felt arms around her once more, Elijah’s, of course, strong and warm and comforting, and he slowly pulled her away. This time, she let him.

* * *

“Don’t you dare tell me what I want! Hope isn’t Jonathan!”Hayley’s words stung, and Elijah flinched, feeling like he’d been slapped, which was enough for her to wrench herself out of his grasp and make her way to trauma room 2. And, all Elijah could really do was let her and watched her stumble as if she was in some sort of trance while his own heart broke for the woman he loved, and his mind was invaded by memories. He stood in the middle of the E.R., but he wasn’t seeing the chaotic E.R. of St John’s, but an equally chaotic E.R. of New York Presbyterian.

_“Elijah? You okay?” she asked worriedly, still gripping his arm._

_“Fine,” he grumbled, wrenching his arm out of her grasp. “Where- where is Katherine. I need to see her. And, Jonathan… please, I need to- I need to see them…” he trailed off, practically choking on his words. Oh God. “Katherine… I need to see her, please,” he practically begged, his voice shaking._

_“Elijah.” He turned to find another colleague, though she was blurry._

_“Wh- what happened?” he managed to ask, feeling tears prickle at his eyes._

_“They were on the way from school. Car ran the red light and T-boned into them. Katherine is alright, she’s in surgery, we’re trying to stabilize her.”_

_“A- and Jon?” he managed to ask, his words slurred. Rose said nothing, and took a deep breath as if bracing herself. Elijah’s heart started beating harder. At that moment, Code Blue was announced through the speakers, and a loud beeping came from one of the trauma rooms. The doors opened, and a few nurses ran in with a crash cart. Elijah stumbled in that direction automatically, as if deep down he knew. “J- Jonathan!” he managed, his own voice sounding so unlike himself, and his lips shook. The doctors were performing CPR, one of his colleagues pressing hard on his pale chest. “J- Jonathan!” he yelled again, stepping closer to the trauma room._

“Brother,” he heard from behind him, but he couldn’t quite focus on the voice. “Elijah,” somebody was saying. “Elijah!”

“Somebody get her out of here!” Marcel’s booming voice came from the trauma room at the same time that Elijah felt someone grasp his arm firmly.

“Elijah!” It was Niklaus, and finally Elijah snapped out of his trance. His brother looked on the verge of tears, and was blinking rapidly, willing himself not to cry. And, for a second time in less than an hour, Elijah’s heart broke. Because it wouldn’t just be Hayley who could lose her daughter, but Klaus, too. And, Elijah wasn’t sure he could stand the thought of two of the people closest to him experiencing that loss. He shook his head, pushing that thought away. No, he wasn’t going to think like that yet. With a sigh, he nodded, and went to the trauma room, bracing himself for the horrific sight he would certainly see. Except, nothing could really prepare him for seeing Hope limp on the gurney, surrounded by tubes and wires while his colleagues worked on her, and Hayley standing there, staring at her daughter, calling the little girl’s name over and over while Marcel was yelling at her to leave. But, she wasn’t listening to him. Elijah couldn’t blame her because he wasn’t seeing Hope anymore, or Marcel, or Hayley, or anyone else actually in the room. No, Elijah was seeing four-year-old Jonathan with his dark, curly hair, his pale body even more pale as he lay, motionless on the table while his colleagues were trying to resuscitate him.

_“We’re losing him,” one of them said, and Elijah shook his head._

_“No, we are not!” another one snapped. “Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”_

_Nothing._

_“Charge to 200!” she yelled, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest, his ears ringing. “Clear!”_

_Nothing. Elijah reached for something to hold onto, to steady himself, but found nothing as his heart hammered in his chest._

_“Still nothing,” one of the residents muttered._

_“Charge to 250!” she ordered. “Clear!”_

_Nothing. Elijah felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was on fire._

_“J- Jonathan…” he muttered, but it was useless to call his name now. His vision blurred with tears, and a few spilled onto his cheeks, and he reached to wipe them away immediately._

_The doctors had resumed CPR, but nothing._

_“Charge to 300!” she ordered, and Elijah’s heart beat faster as he stared in front of him._

_“Come on, Jonathan,” he muttered. “Come on, mate. You can do this, c’mon, buddy!” he muttered, panting slightly as he continued to stare at what was happening in front of his eyes. “Come on, Jon, buddy,” he continued to mutter_

_“Clear!” the doctor yelled while Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest._

“Elijah!” Marcel’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he blinked rapidly, trying to push away the memories, and shook his head.

“F- forgive me,” he muttered.

“Get her out of here, now!” Marcel ordered. “Okay, we need to get her to surgery, right now,” he said to Jo. Elijah didn’t even realize how many of his colleagues were in the room. Jo, Aya, Celeste, Marcel and Meredith. But, he didn’t care. He nodded vaguely, then moved to Hayley who was still muttering Hope’s name, as if chanting it like a mantra, and gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him. He expected her to fight, but she seemed to be numb, and let him pull her away.

Elijah practically carried Hayley to the attendings’ lounge, which was thankfully empty, and quietly ushered her inside, sitting her on one of the couches before he sat down beside her. It occurred to him that maybe someone should inform his other siblings, but at this point he couldn’t do it. He had to be there for her. She needed him. Niklaus did, too. He could not break.

“What was the last thing I said to her?” Hayley’s voice broke through the silence, and Elijah turned to her, and moved closer to her, but she sat there, staring in front of her.

“Hayley,” he started to say softly, but she ignored him.

“When was the last time I watched a movie with her? Took her to the park? Read her a story at night?” she asked no one in particular, and Elijah felt a chilling sense of déjà vu. Because he had asked himself those questions for the past two and a half years, and the truth was that in the months before the accident he hadn’t been much of a father; he’d been too drunk to care.

“Hayley, you are an amazing mother,” he said softly, and reached to take her hand before bringing it to his lips and kissing it tenderly. She glanced at him, as if noticing him for the first time, as if she’d finally caught up, finally coming out of her shock.

“I was just- I was always so busy with work, and Hope was always either being babysat by Aiden and Josh, then Rebekah… I- I could’ve done more… spent more time with her-” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes filled with tears.

He shook his head, “listen to me,” he said softly, and reached to cup the back of her neck gently, “you are an amazing mother and an amazing doctor. You never ignored Hope, you were always spending your free time with her, you were taking care of her, you were always there for her,” he told her firmly even though he felt like crying himself. “Trust me, I know the difference,” he muttered mostly to himself, but she’d heard him, and she inhaled sharply, and finally met his gaze. 

“Elijah,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Gods, I can’t even imagine what this must be doing to you,” she said softly, but he shook his head.

“I’m fine,” he said, but even as he said, deep down he knew he was anything but. But, he wasn’t going to break, not now when Hayley and Niklaus and Hope, and the rest of his siblings needed him. “I’ll be okay,” he added.

She sniffled, “I’m sorry about what I said… before” she said, her voice still shaky with tears. He sighed heavily, and bowed his head. “I- I shouldn’t have said that to you, Elijah. That wasn’t fair, and completely uncalled for,” she added, her voice laced with vote.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, caressing her jaw gently.

“It’s not,” she said brokenly.

“It’s not,” he nodded sadly.

“I know nobody gets what I’m feeling right now better than you,” she added, and sniffled again. Elijah just sighed sadly.

“Hayley, you are allowed to feel whatever you feel,” he told her gently, swallowing back tears. “And, I-” he cut himself off, and paused, blinking back tears, “I never, ever wanted you to feel what I feel... that pain... that loss. I wouldn’t wish it on my greatest foe, I certainly don’t wish it on you. And, I am so sorry that you’re going through this,” he said, his voice trembling. Hayley sniffled, and a tear fell down her cheek, and she bowed her head, leaning closer to him. He tilted his head slightly, and pressed his lips to her forehead, and felt a tear slide down his own cheek. And then, Hayley moved closer to him, and rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close, and kissed the top of her head lightly. “I am here, Hayley,” he mumbled softly, “I am right here.” This seemed to be it though because Hayley finally let out a sob, and tears spilled down her cheeks, and Elijah’s heart broke at the sight of this woman who meant so much to him enduring this much pain. Hayley’s body shook, wracked by sobs, and all Elijah could do was hold her. “Shh,” he muttered softly as he caressed her hair, and he felt more tears threaten to fall, and he shut his eyes briefly, and felt a stray tear slide down his cheek, but didn’t move to wipe it away. “Shh,” he repeated, though it didn’t really matter, and Hayley hiccupped softly before letting out another heart-wrenching cry, and he tightened his grip on her, and pressed another kiss to her hair.

_“Elijah?” Katherine mumbled drowsily, her voice still hoarse from having been intubated, and he immediately stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes, and rushed over to her, but was immediately slowed down by the banana bag he was hooked up to._

_“Katerina,” he said, and slowly made his way over to her, and sat down on the chair by her bed. Her eyes flickered to the banana bag and the IV in his arm, and he immediately braced himself for judgement, but she said nothing. Her left arm was in a cast, and she’d had major internal bleeding and they had to remove her spleen, and she had a brain bleed they were still monitoring, and her face was covered in small cuts. It could have been worse, he reminded himself, but it didn’t really matter._

_“Elijah,” she repeated, and he stood up once more, slower this time, going to fill one of the plastic cups with water before bringing it to Katherine. He helped her sit up, and gave her the water, and she sipped it gratefully. “Elijah,” she said for a third time, her voice firmer, “wh- what happened? I- there was an accident… Jon- I- I was picking Jon up from preschool. Oh, God…” she trailed off, horrified, and started moving around, and he reached to steady her, gripping her shoulders firmly as she panted, gasping for air._

_“Katerina,” he said softly, “please calm down. You had surgery,” he explained. “Your broke your wrist, so they put that in a cast, and you had a splenectomy, they had to remove your spleen because there was too much bleeding. And, you have a brain bleed they’re monitoring, so please calm down,” he continued, and Katherine nodded, relaxing as she lay back against the pillows._

_“God, I probably look like a mess,” she muttered, and Elijah had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Leave it to Katherine to be thinking about how she looked. “A- and Jon?”_

_“He- he was hurt. Massive crush injuries and blunt force trauma… internal bleeding, broken femur… cardiac tamponade…” he recounted, and paused as Katherine took it all in, and her eyes filled with tears. “They, uh, they rushed him into surgery. No news for now,” he finished, choking on a sob of his own as Katherine let out a gut-wrenching wail and tears streamed down her face. He reached for her, but she pulled away, growing more agitated while she muttered, unintelligibly in Bulgarian._

_“I’m so sorry, Katerina, but everything’s going to be okay… he’s going to be okay,” he said, choking on a sob, and reached for her, to comfort her, to hold her, but Katherine moved away._

_“No! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” she screamed, enraged, pulling away from him, and he flinched, pulling back immediately. “Don’t you dare touch me! This is- this is your fault!” she screamed, and began moving around agitated, and he stepped back, almost stumbling into the chair behind him, the IV in his arms long forgotten as Katherine continued to scream and thrash around._

_Somehow, he stumbled in the direction of the door, and slid it open. “Nurse!” he yelled. “We need a nurse over here! Y- you need to sedate her!” he screamed, and in that moment the monitors started beeping. He turned, and pulled the IV out of his arms, feeling restricted by it, and his eyes quickly darted around as he scanned the monitor. “Her ICP’s through the roof!” he shouted._

_“She’s seizing!” the nurse yelled, and he quickly lowered her bed. “Push an amp of lorazepam!” he ordered. “And, page neuro STAT!”_

Elijah shook himself out of the memory and blinked back tears. Hayley’s sobs had slowly subsided, and she was just whimpering softly, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

“Shh,” he murmured into her hair, and pressed another kiss to her temple. “I am right here, Hayley. I am right here,” he mumbled.

Hayley tilted her head, and looked at him through glassy eyes, “where’d you go?” she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Nowhere. I’m right here,” he said softly, but she gave him a look. “I was just- I was just remembering…” he trailed off, and swallowed back tears, his lips quivering, and he blinked rapidly.

Hayley tilted her head, and nuzzled his neck in comfort and kissed the mole behind his ear.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you when I- I can barely keep it together,” she said softly, resting her head on his shoulder while reaching to take his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

“I-” he cut himself off, his voice shaking, and blinked back tears. “I’ll be alright,” he added, trying to sound strong, but he knew he was failing.

Suddenly, Hayley sat up, and turned to face him, and reached to cup his cheeks, caressing his jaw lightly. She sniffled, “Elijah,” she paused, and took a deep breath, “I know this is hard, so hard and I know you feel like breaking, but I- please don’t,” she said softly, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I hate to even ask, but please don’t break. Please stay strong,” she said in a breathless whisper. “I need you,” she added softly. And, Elijah just bowed his head as a tear fell down his cheek, and he felt Hayley reach to wipe it away. Eventually, he looked up, and met Hayley’s heartbroken and pained gaze, and another tear slid down his cheek. He wrapped his arm around her once more, and pulled her to him, and she rested her head on his shoulder, and reached for his hand. He let her, and laced his fingers with hers, and squeezed it lightly.

“They don’t teach you this in med school, do they?” she mumbled after a while.

“Hmm?” he turned towards her, his lips brushing against the top of her head lightly.

“When it’s your own kid hurt? And, you know exactly how bad it is and there’s nothing you can do about it…” she trailed off, and sniffled. Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat, and he pressed a kiss to her temple, unable to say anything else.

* * *

As soon as the ambulance doors opened, and the paramedic stepped out, Marcel froze upon seeing the patient. _Oh, God. Please tell me this is a mistake, damn it!_

“What do we have?” Elijah asked automatically beside him, not even looking at first. But, as soon as he did, he froze, and turned white.

“Seven-year-old female Hope Marshall. Was in the back of the vehicle when the truck collided. Multiple crush injuries, open tibia fracture on the left side, alert and responsive on the scene, lost consciousness en route. GCS of 10, possible concussion. We’re worried about internal bleeding and cardiac tamponade,” the paramedic reported, not even noticing the distress of the doctors. Behind him, someone else inhaled sharply. For a few seconds, nobody moved. It was as if the world stopped as the three of them stared at the patient, and Marcel knew that both Elijah and Klaus were in shock.

“Dr. Mikaelson? Is everything okay?” Keelin asked worriedly, and Marcel finally noticed she was there with them. 

“I- I can’t…” Elijah barely managed to say, and Marcel honestly felt sorry for the poor man. Because, Elijah just another of Hope’s family. Unlike them, for Elijah this meant much more than his niece being on that stretcher. For Elijah, this was all the pain and grief he’d been bottling up for the past two and a half years coming to the surface and reminding him of what he’d lost. 

“Dr. Mikaelson?” the resident repeated, confused.

“Fuck!” Niklaus cursed as he finally realized what was wrong. “He can’t treat her. Neither of us can. She’s my daughter,” he said, and Marcel turned to look sharply at Klaus. Well, something drastic had to happen for Klaus to finally get his head out of his ass, and Marcel honestly wanted to punch the guy, but now wasn’t the time.

“Oh, God,” he muttered. Then, he turned to Elijah. “Look, man, you should- you should go find Hayley,” he said quietly. Because Hayley Marshall was unsuspecting treating another patient, without any clue that her world was about to come crashing down. Briefly, he thought of Rebekah, who had become so attached to the little girl in the short time they’d known each other, but he pushed that out of his mind. Because none of the Mikaelsons could treat Hope, but he wasn’t a Mikaelson. And, he was one of the best peds surgeons. And, it was on him to do it. Elijah nodded, and as if in a trance, went inside, and Klaus followed after him, looking on the verge of tears.

“Alright, let’s take her inside,” he ordered, and they all ran, pushing the stretcher inside. “Take her to trauma 2!” he yelled before going over to the nurses’ desk. “Page Laughlin, DuBois, Al-Rashid and Fell STAT!” he yelled and the nurse nodded. Then, he turned and ran to the trauma room. “Okay, Keelin, get a FAST! Hook her up to monitors and run an IV line,” he said, starting to bark orders, and grabbed the chart. “Get her some morphine, too,” he added.

“Positive FAST here,” Keelin said as she moved the ultrasound wand over Hope’s bruised abdomen. “I’m seeing a lot of fluid in the abdomen, probably a lot of internal bleeding,” she told him.

“Okay, we need to get her to an O.R.,” he nodded, just as the doors burst open, and Jo Laughlin entered.

“Marcel, what have we got?”

“Hope Marshall,” he announced.

“Marshall? As in Hayley Marshall?” the other doctor asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah. Hayley and Klaus’ daughter. Which means no Mikaelson can treat her. She’s got lots of internal bleeding; we need to get her to an O.R.,” he reported. “She also has multiple crush injuries, open tibia fracture on the left side, alert and responsive on the scene, lost consciousness en route. GCS of 10, possible concussion. And, she’s got cardiac tamponade,” he recounted.

“Okay,” Jo nodded, and he handed her the chart. “Her SATs are dropping. We need to intubate.”

“Scope!” he ordered. “Hope? Sweetie? Listen, you’re going to be okay,” he said softly. A nurse handed him the scope and he inserted it into the child’s mouth, but he couldn’t visualize. “Can’t see anything in here, airways are blocked. I’m going to crike her!” he said, just as the doors to the trauma room opened once more and Meredith Fell entered. Jo reported, and Meredith started performing the neuro exam.

“No spinal damage, but yeah, possible concussion. We need to get scans to be sure,” Meredith said. Aya entered the room, too, and Jo reported, and the ortho surgeon went to work on the leg.

“We need to get her to an O.R. so I can fix this leg,” she said.

“15-Blade!” he ordered, and held his hand out. A nurse handed it to him, prepped the incision site, and he leaned closer and made a small incision. “Tube!” he shouted, and inserted it. “Okay, she’s breathing,” he sighed, just as the doors opened again. This time, it was Hayley Marshall. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. “Marshall? What the hell are you doing here?” the peds surgeon asked, staring at her in shock. “You can’t be in here. Hey, M- Hayley, you can’t be in here,” he said.

“Hope,” Hayley gasped, and felt tears spill onto her cheeks. “Hope, sweetie, wake up! Hope! Hope!” she cried as she moved, in a trance, closer to her daughter.

“No,” he shook his head, “no, Hayley, you can’t be in here,” he said, but she wasn’t listening to him. “Somebody get her out of here!” he shouted once it was obvious she wasn’t listening to him. There was some yelling outside, before the doors to the trauma room finally opened to reveal Elijah Mikaelson. But, Marcel wasn’t focused on Elijah slowly pulling Hayley out of the room, the other man barely keeping it together because Celeste came in to examine Hope.

“She’s got cardiac tamponade,” she said. “We need to do a pericardiocentesis. Get me a 21-gauge needle!” she ordered, and one of the nurses did, and Celeste inserted it to drain the fluid.

“Okay, we need to get her to an O.R. right now!” he yelled. “Someone get the Chief,” he added. When Gia looked at him quizzically, he groaned. “This is Hope Marshall. She’s the daughter of Hayley Marshall and Klaus Mikaleson! Get the Chief because none of the Mikaelsons can treat her!” he snapped as they began to roll the gurney. Most of them crammed into elevators, and ran to the O.R., letting the scrub nurses and anesthesiologist prep her. Marcel was the last to scrub as most of everyone filed into the O.R., prepping for the surgery. Then, the doors to the scrub room opened to reveal Klaus Mikaelson.

“Klaus,” he said breathlessly. “Look, man, we’re about to start surgery,” he started, not quite looking at the other man.

But, Klaus interrupted him, “"I don't know what the _hell_ I'm supposed to do!” he snapped, and Marcel could see he was about to break. “I'm a doctor. A surgeon. I save lives on a daily basis. But now, it's my own daughter lying on that bed, and there isn't a damn thing I can do. There isn't a damn _any_ of the people I trust the most can do, precisely because she _is_ my daughter. And, the worst part is that she doesn't even know that I'm her father, because I was such a dick to her mother from day one!” he yelled, and swung at one of the cabinets, making a loud, clanging noise as the metal cabinet rattled from the impact. Klaus sighed, and took a deep breath, “and now I could lose her before I ever even got a chance to know her,” he finished, and a lone tear slid down his cheek.

Marcel sighed, and turned to face Klaus, “Hey,” he said softly, in the voice he often used to speak to frightened parents. He’d just never thought he’d use it with Klaus. Not for a while at least. “You’ve still got me, Klaus. Much as I love your sister, I’m not technically a Mikaelson. And, I am _not_ going to let that little girl die on my watch,” he said firmly, and the other man nodded sadly. “Alright, I gotta go now. I’ll come talk to you when I have an update,” he added, approaching the doors to the O.R. The doors slid open, and he entered, a nurse helping him to put on the surgical gown and fit his mask. And, Klaus lingered there for a moment, a broken look on his face, before he turned around and left the scrub room, slamming the door behind him. Marcel couldn’t blame him.


	17. This Is Me Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah tries to be strong for Hayley while remembering the night Jonathan died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This chapter is another angst-fest, and I apologize in advance for the tears. Please have tissues nearby.

Elijah wasn’t sure how long the two of them had been in the attendings’ lounge at this point, but he didn’t really care. All he cared about was Hayley, who had mostly calmed down, and now she was simply sitting with her head on his shoulder, and his arm was wrapped around her. Despite how much he cared about her, and despite the fact that he _had_ to be strong for her, Elijah wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this. And, he couldn’t be here with her if he did break. Because he was supposed to be taking care of her, not other way around. Hayley was dealing with too much, she was going through something that was so unimaginable, she wouldn’t be able to deal with him breaking. And, he knew that at one point he would no matter how hard he was trying not to. Elijah sighed heavily and squeezed Hayley’s hand before slowly detangling himself from the embrace. At first, Hayley didn’t really notice, so he slowly stood up and made his way to the door. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to be here, in this room, not doing anything other than holding Hayley as she cried. And, as much as he cared for her, it was exhausting, especially since he knew he was close to breaking, and he couldn’t be here when he did.

“Where are you going?” Hayley’s voice cut through the silence and interrupted his thoughts, and he froze, his hand on the door handle. He stopped, and turned to find Hayley standing by the window, her eyes glassy with unshed tears, her eyes red from crying so much.

“I was just- I thought you might need a moment to yourself…” he trailed off, and Hayley gave him an incredulous look. [He hadn’t exactly thought of a plan for pulling away, he’d simply decided to go. But, Hayley wasn’t going to buy that].

“I’m fine,” she said softly, sniffling, but Elijah knew she was anything but fine. “Please stay. I know how hard this is for you, but I- I’m here, Elijah,” she said softly, meeting his gaze, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest. He wasn’t sure he would be able to walk out now, not when Hayley was looking at him like that, practically begging him not to go.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, but even as he said the words, they were a lie. “I was just-” he cut himself off, swallowing back tears.

“I know this is hard for you, Elijah,” she said slowly, “but Hope needs her family now more than ever. She needs you,” she said, and Elijah flinched. He couldn’t do this. It was too hard, it brought too many memories to the surface, and as much as he loved his niece, he knew he couldn’t be there for her the way his siblings could. He could focus on Hayley, but every time he thought of Hope, he inevitably thought of Jonathan, and he couldn’t do it.

“Hope needs her father,” he said, louder than he’d intended, and Hayley pursed her lips. “Come to think of it, I’m going to go find Niklaus,” he added, and turned slightly towards the door, intending to leave in search of his brother, but Hayley’ s next words stopped him.

Her expression softened, “I need you,” she said firmly, but gently and his breath hitched in his throat. “I need you, Elijah,” she repeated. “I can’t do this without you. I know I’m asking too much from you, I know you feel like breaking and that’s why you’re pulling away,” she added, and he shut his eyes briefly before opening them again and meeting her gaze. This woman knew him too well, could read him so easily, it scared him, but it also felt so good to be understood by someone like this. Slowly, he made his way towards her until he was standing in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I need you, too,” he added, his voice thick with emotion.

“I know,” she muttered against his lips. He cupped her cheek gently, and then leaned down and tentatively brushed his lips against hers. Hayley responded immediately, wrapping one hand around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair as she deepened the kiss, and he pulled her closer, too. It was a lingering sort of kiss, her lips salty from tears, and he was sure his were the same, their lips molded with each other, tongues tangled together. Eventually, when air became a necessity, he pulled away, reluctantly, and rested his forehead against hers, and she brushed her nose against his. “I need you,” she repeated breathlessly, and he felt his chest tighten.

“As do I,” he mumbled, his own voice shaking with emotion, and Hayley smiled softly. And then, she kissed him.

* * *

After a while, the door opened to reveal a grief-stricken Rebekah, and she made her way to them and immediately reached for Hayley, pulling her in for a hug. Hayley returned the hug, and clung to Rebekah while he stood there. Then, the doors opened again to reveal Freya. Freya looked absolutely exhausted, and her eyes were red from crying, and she and Rebekah exchanged a hug before she went over to Hayley. Elijah sighed heavily, and sank back against the couch, his mind drifting away. But, this time he wasn’t remembering that night two and a half years ago, but the night of that disastrous Mikaeson family dinner, and how he’d dropped Hayley and Hope home. Hayley had asked him to stay, and as much as he wanted to, he’d refused, not wanting to replace Jonathan with Hope. But, now he couldn’t help but wish he’d stayed. He’d been such an ass to Hayley that night, but he’d been on edge the whole time and it was all he could do to concentrate on Hayley, and not let his mind drift back to his nightmare, the memory of Jonathan’s accident haunting him.

He felt someone sit next to him, and turned to find his older sister sink down on the couch. She looked so exhausted, dark circles under her puffy red eyes, and it occurred to Elijah that it wouldn’t just be Hayley and Klaus who would lose Hope, but their whole family. And, yet, selfishly he couldn’t help but think back to how his family had been after Jonathan’s death, how it hadn’t affected them as much as it did him. Of course, he knew why that was, but still it always felt like none of them really felt that loss.

“Hey,” Freya said softly, sniffling, and she reached to wipe at her eyes again.

“Sister,” he muttered by way of greeting.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, and reached to take his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m sober, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he snapped quietly, a little harsher than he’d intended.

Freya flinched, and tears formed in her eyes, “that’s not what I meant,” she muttered, and Elijah immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered apologetically. His expression softened, “I’m fine, Freya,” he said, and she pursed her lips, giving him an unimpressed look, “or, at least, I’m trying. She’s struggling… she needs me to be strong for her,” he admitted, glancing over at Hayley who was with Rebekah, her head resting on the blonde’s shoulder, both of them crying quietly.

“And, what about you, Elijah? I can only imagine how hard this must be for you…” she trailed off, looking at him pointedly.

“I- I’ll be okay,” he told her. He couldn’t guarantee it, but he was going to try.

Freya nodded, and sniffled, wiping her eyes before she rested her head on his shoulder lightly, and Elijah sighed sadly as he held his sister’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

The door opened again. This time it was Kol, followed by a young man with dark hair. Hayley immediately stood up, and threw herself in his arms, and let out a shaky breath as the young man hugged her back, burying his head in her shoulder. Elijah couldn’t help but feel a jealous knot twist in his stomach.

“Josh,” she said when she pulled away from him. And, Elijah relaxed because he realized that this was Josh. Aiden’s boyfriend, probably here because Aiden had been in surgery, too, and to offer moral support to Hayley. “Oh, Josh, I’m so sorry,” she said tearfully. Then, she turned to Kol. “H- how is he?” she asked shakily, bracing herself for the worst.

“He’s fine, he’s out of surgery,” Kol reported, and Hayley breathed out a relieved sigh. “We’re keeping him in the ICU for observation for one night, then we’ll move him to recovery. But, he’s okay,” Kol informed her, and Hayley nodded, clearly relieved.

“Oh, thank God. I’m so glad. Thank you, Kol,” she said, smiling at Kol. “And, thank you for, uh, taking Aiden,” she added, then paused, furrowing her eyebrows. “How did you know about Hope though?” she wondered, and Elijah turned, too.

Kol looked around nervously, “I, uh, well…” he stammered, but Hayley gave him a pointed look, prompting him to continue, “Davina told me. The paramedic,” he finally said.

“The paramedic! So, that’s her name, huh?” Hayley said, chuckling lightly, and Elijah couldn’t help but sigh in relief that she was momentarily distracted.

“And, how do you know the paramedic so well, Kol?” Rebekah asked, perking up.

“Well, that would be because she’s my girlfriend,” Kol admitted, and Rebekah squealed loudly, then stood up and rushed to give Kol a hug. Elijah flashed him a smile, and his younger brother nodded gratefully.

“Davina is the paramedic,” Hayley mused, smirking slightly. “No wonder she comes here so often then,” she added smugly. Kol just rolled his eyes. But, Elijah was just glad Hayley was distracted, he didn’t even care why.

“You’ll have to bring her to dinner sometime soon,” Rebekah added, grinning widely at Kol. Kol looked scared.

“And, have you scare her forever? No, thanks,” Kol retorted, shaking his head.

Rebekah rolled her eyes, “oh, don’t be ridiculous, Kol. We won’t bite,” she said, chuckling. Freya, too, joined in on the teasing while Elijah just sat back, watching his sisters and Hayley tease Kol, briefly distracted.

The atmosphere grew somber again soon, though, and Hayley returned to her spot on the couch, and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, pressing a soft kiss to her hair.

“I hope we get to have a family dinner soon,” she muttered sadly, and Elijah’s heart broke both from the pain she was in, and the thought that they might not.

“We will,” he said softly, even though he wasn’t sure of the fact. But, he wasn’t going to tell Hayley that. Hayley nodded, and reached for his hand again.

* * *

Elijah stepped out of the attendings’ lounge and decided to take a stroll down the hallway, trying to clear his head. He hadn’t wanted to leave Hayley alone, but as Rebekah pointed out, he wasn’t leaving her alone, and he needed to breathe, too. Except, as he walked down the hallways of St. John’s he didn’t feel any better, or like he was breathing easier. Because, he wasn’t seeing the walls of St. John’s, but those of New York Presbyterian, and he was reminded of that night. The night Jonathan died.

_Elijah was almost certain that he no longer felt the hard plastic waiting room chair, or smelled the antiseptic that permeated the hallways, or the IV line of the banana bag that had long since finished. Seconds that seemed to drag forever blurred into minutes, then hours, to the point that Elijah had no idea what time it was. At one point, he’d managed to call Rebekah and Klaus, but he’d left the task of informing the rest of his family to Rebekah because he didn’t have the energy to do it himself. He’d called Elena, too, and she’d arrived with her boyfriend and the two of them were sitting a few chairs away from him. He’d told Elena about Katherine needing a second surgery and how Jonathan was still in surgery. Elena had just looked at him with a sad, pitiful expression on her face, then went to sit down. Rebekah was in New York on business, and she’d arrived at the hospital with tears in her eyes, and Klaus and the rest of his siblings were taking the first plane out of New Orleans to New York. Finn was apparently in Europe on business, and unlikely to get there, and Esther and Mikael were coming, too. But, Elijah didn’t really care. Because none of it would really matter if Jonathan didn’t make it. He ripped the IV out of his arm. At this point, he didn’t give a shit, and he really wanted a drink. But, he didn’t dare move, fearing that if he did, the doctors would be there with an update, so he would miss it. But, he didn’t. Because in that moment, Rose, one of the surgeons operating on Jon emerged from the O.R., her surgical gown draped over her shoulders and walked slowly towards him. But, Elijah didn’t need her to actually say the words because deep down he knew. Still, he sat there as she told him about the surgery, his ears ringing, his eyes stinging with unshed tears, and it felt like his chest was on fire and he couldn’t breathe. He blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay, and shook his head slowly._

_“Elijah,” Rose said gently as he stood up shakily. “Jonathan sustained a lot of injuries, and we tried to fix them. But, unfortunately, the damage was too extensive, and he lost too much blood… despite our best efforts, he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry, Elijah.”_

_He shook his head, slowly, “no,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “No, no, no,” he repeated, choking on a sob, and tears spilled down his cheeks as he continued to shake his head, muttering, “no, no, no,” repeatedly. No, it couldn’t be, he wanted to scream, but deep down he knew it was true._

_“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” Rose repeated sadly, but he didn’t hear her._

_He let out a pained cry as tears continued to stream down his face, and he took in a shaky breath before letting out another sob, “no! No! No!” he continued to cry as he fell back into the waiting room chair. “No! No! No!” he continued to weep, his body shaking, wracked by agonizing sobs, and he clutched at the chair for support, feeling like his chest was on fire, like he couldn’t breathe. The waiting room was otherwise silent except for his grief-stricken sobs, and Elijah didn’t even notice as the rest of his siblings arrived. [They’d managed to get an earlier flight, and came directly to the hospital, and were now all standing there]. “No! No! No!” he continued to mutter under his breath between gasping for air and sobbing, his lower lip trembling, his cheeks tearstained, his body shaking with pain._

Elijah shook himself, pushing away the memory as he made his way to the catwalk. Now wasn’t the time for him to remember _that_ particular moment, but he couldn’t exactly help it. Not when he was walking through a hospital that reminded him of what he’d lost merely through its name while waiting for news of Hope’s surgery who had gotten hurt in an accident that hit too close to home, and it felt like he was in a ghost town designed to remind him of the worst night of his life. He sighed, and spotted his brother leaning against the catwalk himself, and he slowly made his way to him. As mad as he’d been when Niklaus had acted like a dick, as much as he’d drifted apart from his siblings, including Niklaus, he more than anyone else, except for Hayley, knew what his younger brother was going through. He stood beside the other man, and rested one hand on the catwalk railing, and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly.

“I-” Niklaus started, sounding on the verge of tears. “I don’t- I never really understood what you were going through with Jonathan. What you have been going through for the past two and a half years. Of course, I lost him, too, you know I loved that kid,” his brother said slowly, and sniffled.

“I know,” he muttered.

“But, I never really understood the pain you’ve been feeling. And, now my own daughter is in that O.R. and I-” he cut himself off and inhaled shakily. “I’m a surgeon, Elijah for God’s sake!” he burst out, sounding like he was about to cry. “And, yet there isn’t a bloody thing I can do for her except wait and… hope that she makes it. This is torture… And, I am just beginning to understand your pain,” Niklaus admitted, his voice shaking, and Elijah’s chest constricted painfully.

“Niklaus,” he said slowly, and swallowed back tears, blinking them away, “I don’t- the pain of losing a child… it is the absolute worst kind of pain. It is like losing a piece of yourself, and you never quite manage to put yourself back together. And, I don’t… I don’t wish it on _anyone_ ,” he said, emphasizing the word, “least of all you.” Niklaus sniffled, and blinked back a few tears that threatened to fall.

“I can’t do this. I- I can’t… she’s my _daughter_ ,” Klaus said in a hoarse whisper, shaking his head, as Elijah turned to lean with his back against the railing, staring, lost in thought. “And, I- I was such a dick to her mother from day one and now I might never get the chance to be her father…” he trailed off, and Elijah could see that he was about to break. “Elijah…” he whispered, and at that moment, Elijah turned and reached for him, wrapping his arm around Niklaus and pulling him to him. His brother hugged him back, and let out a deep, shaky breath, sniffling while he shut his eyes briefly, and a few tears fell down his cheeks, and he tightened his grip on Niklaus.

“You will always be her father,” he whispered in Klaus’ ear. And, this seemed to be what made Klaus finally come undone. He broke down in tears, his body shaking with pained sobs, and all Elijah could do was hold onto him as he, too, cried a little, but mostly he just held Niklaus like he used to when they were kids and Mikael would give Klaus a beating. Afterwards, Klaus would come to Elijah’s room and lay down with him, and Elijah would hold him, and Klaus would cry. Of course, Elijah would never tell anyone else.

Finally, after a few more minutes, Niklaus’ sobs subsided, and he stopped crying. When he turned to look at him, the look in Niklaus’ eyes completely wrecked him and Elijah felt like he was drowning.

“Thank you, brother,” Klaus said softly, clapping Elijah lightly on the back.

Elijah just nodded, swallowing back tears, “you know I’m here for you,” he said sadly. Klaus nodded.

“I should, uh, I should go… back… to everyone else…” Klaus said slowly, his expression grim and sad. Elijah just nodded. “Are you coming?”

“No,” he said, “I, uh, I need some time… I need a breath of fresh air,” he said, and Klaus nodded. “Let me, uh, let me know what happens with Hope,” he added, and Klaus nodded.

“Of course. Take care, brother,” he said and they hugged briefly again.

“Will do. I’ll see you later, Niklaus,” he muttered, and the two parted ways.

But, Elijah didn’t just go outside for a fresh breath of air, and instead he got into his car and drove home, dropping by the store to pick something up on the way. Once he got home, he kicked off his shoes, took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie, rolling up his sleeves. It was late already, the only light coming from the streetlights outside, and Elijah flipped on the kitchen light. Then, he went into his bedroom, and pulled out the box from his closet. His chest constricted painfully as he held it in sweaty, shaky hands, and he almost collapsed into the chair, his mind, unsurprisingly, drifting back to that night.

_“I- I need to see him,” he finally said once he’d calmed down, standing up shakily, reaching to brace himself against the plastic chair. Rose looked at him sadly, and Rebekah, too, flashed him a sad look. “Please,” he practically begged, “I need to see him.”_

_Rose nodded, “okay,” she said. “I’ll take you to see him once they’ve cleaned him up a little.”_

_Elijah wasn’t sure how much time had passed until Rose finally got word that they’d cleaned Jonathan up and brought him down to the morgue, and Elijah could go see him. She led him there even though he’d been to the morgue countless times, but she wasn’t about to leave him alone. He was on the table at the center of the room, covered by a plastic sheet._

_“I’ll leave you to it,” Rose said sadly, and shut the door behind her. Elijah nodded, his eyes filled with tears, his throat closed up._

_Elijah made his way shakily to the table, and with trembling hands he moved the sheet to reveal his sons face. Jonathan looked so peaceful, like he was asleep, his dark brown curls like a halo around his face. The only indication was that he was too pale, and his face had a few cuts on it, but it was still his face, and Elijah reached to stroke it gently._

_“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, choking on a sob as tears fell from his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated as he continued to caress Jonathan’s face. “I love you so much, Jonathan, and I’m so sorry,” he continued, and broke off into a sob. He took a deep, shaky breath as more tears fell down his cheeks, and he cradled Jonathan’s face gently in his hands, letting out a pained cry. Tears streamed down his face and he wept, unashamedly, as he cradled his son’s face and, his fingers gently stroking it while he muttered, “I’m sorry,” repeatedly. He let out another anguished cry, and gasped, as if he couldn’t breathe. Because, how could he? How could he breathe when his son was dead?_

Elijah shook his head, and blinked rapidly, willing the memory away. And then, with trembling hands, he opened the box.

The first thing in the box was Jon’s toy dinosaur, Fuddlewuddle since he’d put that in last the last time he repacked the box. He brought it to his face, and inhaled the faint scent that still clung to it, just barely. He couldn’t help but wonder about when the things in the box would lose that baby scent, what would he do? He felt tears prickle at his eyes at the thought, but he blinked the back quickly and set the toy dinosaur on the table. Then, he pulled out the drawings and his heart broke as he examined Jonathan’s “artwork”, and a tear fell down his cheek as he looked at his son’s fingerpaintings, but he reached to wipe it hastily. Next came Jon’s dinosaur pajamas, and again he brought them to his face, sniffling the scent that was barely there but still made his chest clench in pain. Then, his baby onesie, and his heart broke as he held it to his face, and he sniffled as more tears slid down his cheeks. And then, he found something he knew was in there, but that he hadn’t gotten to the last few times he’d opened the box. He could never really make it very far into the box because he broke after the first few things, but this time his fingers ran over something soft, and despite vaguely knowing what it was, he decided to take it out. Jonathan’s baby blanket. It was soft and blue, and he remembered how Jonathan would take a corner and tickle his own nose lightly with it every time he was sleepy, and then they would cover him with the blanket. The blanket had been his favorite aside from the toy dinosaur, and he rarely went anywhere without one of those things. It had been the blanket they wrapped him in when they brought him home from the hospital, and Elijah’s heart ached unbearably as he brought the blanket to his face, sniffing the faint baby scent, and his heart broke as a few tears finally fell down his cheeks, and he let out a pained sob. He couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take any more of this pain. And, it hurt to _breathe_. The bottle of bourbon he’d bought from the store sat on the table, as if mocking him. With shaking hands, he reached for it and the tumbler he’d set down next to it, and poured the bourbon into the glass. He held the blanket and the toy dinosaur to his chest as he held the glass with his other hand.

“F- forgive me, Jonathan. Forgive me, son,” he mumbled, choking on a sob. And then, he brought the glass of whiskey to his lips. And, took a long sip, the bourbon burning his throat as he blinked back more tears. And then, he took another long sip.


	18. 'Cause the Morning Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and the Mikaelsons cope as they wait for Hope to be out of surgery.

Cami smiled at her last client as she bid him goodbye before standing up and walking over to her couch, and sinking into it, relaxing against the pillows. After all, since she had a perfectly comfortable couch and super-soft pillows, it was only fair to use it once in a while. She didn’t have a patient for the next thirty minutes, and she sighed, and dropped her head back, closing her eyes, if only for a minute. But, it was only a minute because the door soon burst open to reveal Klaus Mikaelson, and the moment she saw him, a pit formed in her stomach. She stood up immediately as the door slammed behind Klaus, and reached for him, cupping his cheek gently.

“Klaus,” she said softly, and looked up at him, and Klaus met her gaze, his eyes filled with tears. “What happened? What’s wrong?” she asked, her heart hammering in her chest. Klaus Mikaelson was not an emotional man, and even when he got emotional, something had to trigger it. Cami had known Klaus for years, loved him for almost as long, but she’d only seen him like this, barely holding it together, a handful of times, and they all had one common denominator. Something happened to a Mikaelson, or anyone in their circle, that was the only reason for Klaus to react like this. Klaus let out a shaky breath, and his lower lip quivered, and Cami’s heart ached for him. “Klaus,” she whispered, her voice shaking, “who- who died?” He shook his head, clearly in shock. “What is it? You have to tell me… is someone hurt?” He nodded. “Who is it?” she asks, breathlessly, her heart beating faster. _Oh Gods._ “Is it- is it Henrik?” Klaus shook his head, and Cami released a sigh of relief. “Is it Rebekah? Freya? Marcel? Kol? E- Elijah?” she asked him, but he shook his head after every name. “Is it- is it Hayley?” she asked, but he shook his head once again, and Cami’s stomach twisted in knots. There was one more person who she hadn’t asked about, but who would wreck Klaus just as much, and would also cause him to swallow thickly when she asked about Hayley and Elijah. Hope. _Oh, Gods, not Hope._ “Klaus,” she started slowly, her voice barely above a whisper, “is it- is it Hope?” she finally asked, and Klaus’ expression completely crumpled, and Cami couldn’t help but gasp as she pulled him to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her, and Klaus hugged her back, burying his head in the crook of her neck. He let out a heart-wrenching sob, his whole body shuddering, wracked by sobs, and all she could do was hold him as he completely broke down, tears streaming down her face as well as she pressed herself closer to him.

Finally, Klaus calmed down, and pulled away from her shakily, his eyes puffy with tears, his cheeks tearstained, and Cami’s heart broke at the sight. She reached and cupped his cheek once more, rubbing it gently with her thumb, “oh, Klaus,” she murmured softly, her own voice trembling with emotion, “I am so sorry,” she finally said. “What happened? How bad is it?” she asked, and Klaus just looked at her, his expression somber. With a shaky sigh, Cami went and locked the door so they wouldn’t be interrupted before returning to her boyfriend.

“We should, uh, we should sit down,” he finally said, and she nodded, and led him to the couch, the two of them collapsing on it. Klaus pulled her to him, wrapping both his arms around her, and she nuzzled against his neck, pressing herself to him as he brushed his lips against her hair. “You don’t happen to have a glass of fine whiskey and two glasses, do you?” he wondered, pulling slightly away from her.

She turned, giving him an incredulous look, “Klaus, I’m at work!” she snapped with a chuckle. Only Klaus Mikaelson would ask her for a drink during work hours. He raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief, and she shook her head, “fine, just one. But, you’re telling me what happened to Hope,” she said firmly, giving him a look as she stood up, and went to her safe cabinet, and unlocked it before pulling out an opened bottle of whiskey and two glasses. If Vincent got word of this, she’d be so done, but it would prove itself useful. Then, she grabbed her phone and called to cancel all her patients for the rest of the day, grabbed the whiskey and two glasses and returned to the couch. She poured the whiskey, then turned to Klaus. “Vincent’s probably going to kill me. But, since I’m not seeing any patients for the rest of the day…” she trailed off, shrugging, then grabbed the tumbler and took a sip, the amber liquid burning her throat. “Well, now it’s your turn. What happened to Hope?” she asked, looking at him carefully.

Klaus took a deep, shaky breath, and exhaled before he took his glass and took a sip of his whiskey, “she, uh, Aiden was picking her up from school and a truck ran the red light and T-boned them. She, uh, she’s hurt pretty badly,” he began, and took another sip. She reached for his free hand, and took it, lacing her fingers with his, and Klaus gave her a tense smile before he continued. “She’s, uh, she’s got crush injuries, and an open tibia fracture, and internal injuries…” he trailed off, shaking his head, and took another sip of his whiskey. Cami did the same. She remembered when she used to be Klaus’ therapist, and he refused to open up to her. [They got along though, and would spend his allocated hour talking about anything and everything under the sun, but anytime it got too close to his personal trauma, he would change the subject. Until one night, he asked her to his place for a drink, and she knew it was unethical, but she went because she was pretty sure she was falling for him. And, finally, over a bottle of bourbon, he told her all about Mikael’s abuse, Esther’s cheating, Ansel not giving a flying fuck about him, and all the Mikaelson drama. After that, he finally gave in and came to therapy, and slowly she got through to him. And then, she went and fell in love with him. Not, that she was regretting any of it].

“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, and brought his hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “And, I know none of the Mikaelsons can’t operate on her,” she added, and he nodded sadly.

“The worst part is,” he paused and sniffled, a tear spilling onto his cheek, “I know how bad it is, I- I’m a doctor, a surgeon, and I can’t do anything to help her,” he admitted, his voice breaking, “and neither can any of my siblings…” he trailed off, choking on a sob and Cami’s heart broke as she downed the last of her whiskey before she set the glass down. She moved closer to Klaus, and reached for his hand holding the now-empty whiskey glass, and gently pried it out of his hand before setting it onto the table in front of the couch. Then, she cupped his chin and tilted his chin.

“Hey, Klaus,” she said softly, “look at me.” After a few seconds, he finally did, his eyes meeting hers, and Cami’s stomach twisted at the obvious pain in his eyes. “Look, I know this is scary, but the doctors are going to do everything they can,” she said softly. “I know the Mikaelsons are the best, but none of you are actually heads of department. I’m sure the department heads and other doctors are doing everything they can. She’s in good hands,” she reassured him, her voice tender, and caressed his jaw gently. “She’s in good hands,” she repeated, and he nodded, but his lip quivered, and a few more tears slid down his cheeks.

“I just-” he cut himself off, his voice shaking with unshed tears, “I was so horrible to Hayley when she told me about her, and I-” he paused, choking on a sob, “I was scared I would be Ansel, or worse, Mikael, and I didn’t want her to- I thought I was doing her a favor, but now…” he trailed off, his breath hitching, and she lifted her other hand to cup his cheek, rubbing it with her thumb gently.

She smiled through her tears, “I know, Klaus,” she sniffled, “I know.”

“And, now,” he sighed heavily, his lip trembling, “now I might never get the chance to fix it,” he finally said, choking on another sob, and Cami dropped her chin slightly, a few tears falling down her face, and she pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck, and Klaus hugged her back, burying his head in her shoulder, and let out an anguished cry, and she felt tears on her neck, but she said nothing and only held him tightly. After a few seconds, he finally pulled away, and she wiped the tears from his cheeks as he looked deeply into her eyes, “I- I can’t do this without you, Camille…” he trailed off, his voice trembling, “I’m not even sure I can do this at all. She’s- she’s my daughter and I-” he cut himself off, swallowing thickly, before finally continuing, “I failed her,” he finally said, and another tear spilled onto his cheek.

Cami’s shoulders slumped in defeat, and she shook her head, “oh, Klaus,” she said softly, shaking her head. “Listen to me, I know you’re scared, and I know that it feels like you failed, but you didn’t. You haven’t failed, okay? You just needed time to adjust to the situation. And, you’re right, the way you acted with Hayley wasn’t fair, or nice, but you’re here now. So, we should just go find Hayley, and you should be there with her,” she told him, her own voice shaking slightly.

“She’s got Elijah for that,” Klaus muttered, pursing his lips.

Cami gave him a look, and pursed her lips, “Klaus, you know that this is going to be hard on Elijah. It doesn’t take a psych degree to know this is gonna bring up Jonathan for him, and I’m not sure he can handle it. So, you need to be there for Hayley. All of us do. And, you need to be strong for your little girl, okay?” she said.

Klaus sighed heavily, and paused, “okay,” he nodded. She dropped her hands, and slowly stood up, extending her hand for him to take. Klaus hesitated.

“What is it?”

“I just-” he paused, and cleared his throat, and gave her a tense smile, “I’d just rather stay here, finish that bottle and commiserate about my daddy issues while trying not to think about my daughter on that operating table,” he quipped, chuckling bitterly.

“Hey, that’s old Klaus talking,” she said, giving him a pointed look. “And, for the record, I said only one drink. So, stop being a baby, and let’s go,” she said firmly, but still Klaus didn’t move. “C’mon, you used to hate this couch, and now I can’t get you off it,” she added, shaking her head. She sighed, and reached to cup his cheek, tilting his head, so he would look at her, and their gazes met. “Look, you are not Mikael, or Ansel. You are good,” she said softly. “Look, there isn’t a handbook for parenting, and I’m not one myself, but what I do know is that as long as you show up, and show her how much you care about her, and are just there… that’s going to be enough. That’s all she needs. Okay?” Klaus nodded, and reached to rest his hand on her hips, pulling her closer. “And, I’m here for you, okay?” she added, her voice barely above a whisper, and Klaus nodded before taking her hand and standing up himself. But, before either of them moved to the door, Klaus reached and cupped her cheek gently and brushed his lips against hers. Her hand slid around his neck, and she tangled her fingers in his hair as she deepened the kiss, her tongue tangling with his as he pulled her closer. When air became a necessity, Cami gently pulled away, and rubbed her nose against Klaus’. “I love you, Klaus. You know that,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you, too, Camille,” he said, his lips curving into a small smile.

“C’mon, now,” she muttered breathlessly against his lips, “let’s go.”

“Okay, let’s go,” he agreed, and she nodded, taking her lab coat off quickly and dropping it on the couch. Klaus did the same. And then, the two of them left her office, and Cami reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and squeezed tightly.

* * *

“Hayley,” Rebekah said softly, and Hayley froze, stopping her pacing, and turned to face the blonde. Her eyes were puffy from crying, her nose was red, and her cheeks had dry tears on them. She’d been crying on and off since Elijah had left, partly because she couldn’t quite stop crying, and partly because she’d stayed strong and kept from crying for his sake, but she couldn’t anymore. Rebekah sighed. “Would you like some tea? Or, coffee?” she asked her gently, her concern obvious.

Hayley really didn’t want anything, but she knew the Mikaelsons were all trying to support her while breaking themselves, so she nodded, “yeah… I could, uh, I could use a latte,” she said weakly.

Rebekah nodded, “I’ll go get you one. Anyone else?” she asked, turning to Freya, Kol and Josh, but they shook their heads, so Rebekah left the attendings’ lounge. Hayley glanced at her phone, but nothing. Elijah hadn’t left that long ago, but he hadn’t replied to any of her texts, or answered any of her calls. Hayley had to admit, part of her was worried, but the other part of her knew that this could be too much for him, and he might be simply taking some time for himself.

Seconds later, the door opened to reveal Camille O’Connell, and the blonde immediately rushed to her and pulled her into a tight hug that Hayley returned, letting out a shaky breath. And then, none other than Klaus Mikaelson entered the room. And, Hayley, who should have been relieved to see him, or should have wanted to offer him some comfort, or asked if he knew anything about Hope, did none of those things. Hayley saw red.

“Hayley, love,” Klaus said slowly as he walked over to her, but she flinched, “I am so sorry, but I- I’m here now.”

Hayley raised her hand, and slapped him. _Smack_. “Are you insane?” she snapped. “Do you really think that after everything you’ve done, after you were such an asshole, you can just waltz in here and say you’re sorry?” she yelled, glaring at him, anger and fear and grief all bubbling to the surface.

“Hayley, look, I-” Klaus began, but she cut him off, not giving him a chance to speak.

“You’re sorry? Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it! I gave you a chance almost eight years ago and you couldn’t deal! Then, I offered you a chance again, but you’re still a coward! I don’t need money, Klaus! All I needed- no, all I wanted was a partner, a co-parent, someone to help me out!” she yelled and shoved him slightly. Klaus just looked at her guiltily. “Are you really that delusional, Klaus? I was adopted, and my so-called parents kicked me out when I was thirteen. _Thirteen_!” she hissed in near-tears. “And, from what I’ve seen and heard, yours aren’t exactly Parents of the Year!” she growled as she continued to shove him, pushing him back, but Klaus did nothing. “I wanted better for her, better than what we had, but you abandoned us, you abandoned _her_ , and now I- she could die and all you have to say for yourself is that you’re _sorry_?” she half-screamed, half-cried, tears forming in her eyes, but she didn’t give a damn. She’d been understanding and let him be Klaus, but enough was enough. But, Klaus still said nothing. She let out an anguish scream, and shoved him again, “and, all I ever wanted was better for her, but I might never get the chance to give it now!” she cried as she continued to push him repeatedly, slamming her palms against him in anger. “Why aren’t you saying anything, you _coward_? Why aren’t you fighting back, you _asshole_?” she shouted, practically bawling. “Fight back, damn it! _Fight back_!” she cried, still slamming her hands against his chest and pushing him. And then, she felt arms around her, pulling her off him, and watched as Cami went to Klaus’ side. Only when she was being gently pushed back onto the couch did she realize it was Kol who had pulled her off, and she sniffled, covering her face with her palm. She felt someone wrap their arms around her, and soon realized it was Freya. Hayley let out a deep shaky breath, and choked on a sob as she buried her face in Freya’s shoulder before she finally broke down, yet again, not giving a damn about anyone else. 

Eventually, her sobs subsided, and she whimpered, sniffling, and reached to wipe her tears, just as the door opened, and Rebekah walked in, holding two cups of coffee, and she handed her one.

“Thanks, Bekah,” she muttered weakly, flashing Rebekah a tearful smile.

“Perfect timing, Rebekah,” Klaus added, and Rebekah, probably seeing that her brother looked like crap, handed him the other cup of coffee.

“Nik,” she said, and reached to wrap her arms around him, giving him a hug.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, and Hayley tensed.

“You’re here now,” Rebekah said. “Though, I do want to have a word with you,” she added, and Klaus nodded.

It was Cami who spoke next, “where’s Elijah, by the way? I thought he’d be in here with you?”

Hayley bit her lip, and glanced at her phone again, but nothing.

“We sent him to get some air earlier,” Rebekah said with a shrug. “Actually, I’ll go get some more coffee, too. Cami you want some? Anyone else?” This time, almost everyone nodded, so Rebekah slipped out to get coffee.

Hayley sighed, “Elijah, uh, he’s not answered any of my calls. Or, replied to any of my texts. I mean, it hasn’t been that long…” she trailed off, and took a nervous sip of her coffee.

“Well, uh, he was with me before I went to see Cami, and he said he was going to get some air. Maybe, he’s just taking a walk?” Klaus said, taking a sip of his coffee. “You know that this is hitting him pretty hard, too, Hayley,” he added, and she nodded sadly.

“Yeah,” she muttered, sniffling. “I know. I just- I just wish he’d answer my calls,” she added with a sigh.

“He will,” Freya said reassuringly. “This is Elijah we’re talking about, he’ll be here,” she added. Hayley just nodded, and took another sip of her coffee.

The door opened again, and they all turned, Hayley expecting to find Elijah, except it was Marcel along with Jo, Celeste, Aya and Meredith. Hayley’s eyes filled with tears, and she stood up shakily as did the others.

“Oh God. Marcel…” she trailed off, her heart hammering in her chest.

“She’s okay,” Marcel said quickly, and Hayley let out the breath she’d been holding, but then looked back to Marcel. “But, her injuries were severe, so she’s not out of the woods, yet. We’re gonna keep her in the ICU for the next forty-eight hours. Now, we managed to fix all the internal bleeding, and Celeste fixed her heart,” he continued, his expression cautious and his voice neutral, but Hayley wasn’t surprised.

“Her EKG is normal so far, but I obviously still need to monitor her before I can clear her,” Celeste added, and Hayley nodded at her.

“She had a small brain bleed,” Meredith cut in, “but I fixed that, so she should be okay. Post-op scan came in normal, and we’ll continue to monitor her.”

“And, Aya fixed her fracture,” Marcel added as Aya cleared her throat.

“I put external stabilizers in, but once the bone heals, we’ll remove them and just put her leg in a cast. But, she will obviously need physiotherapy,” she said, and Hayley let out a sigh of relief, her shoulders dropping.

“Oh, thank God,” she breathed out. “Thank you so much,” she said, then rushed to Marcel, giving him a tight hug which he returned. She pulled away, and stepped back, and then was pulled into a hug by Freya while Rebekah went to hug Marcel. Then, Rebekah came and hugged her, and Klaus went to exchange a hug and thank you with Marcel. Finally after everyone had hugged, Hayley turned once again to the doctors, “honestly, thank you. All of you. Thank you for saving my little girl’s life,” she said tearfully.

“When can we see her?” Freya piped up.

“Well, we’re approaching the end of Visiting Hours. But, as soon as we get her set up in the ICU, you can go see her. And, since you guys are family you can see her in pairs of two for two minutes. Klaus and Hayley can spend a little longer, but I don’t want a lot of visitors. She needs to heal. Okay?” Marcel said, and all of them nodded. “Alright, I’ll have someone come get you once she’s set up,” he added as Aya opened the door.

“Hang in there,” she added, nodding at all of them. Meredith was first to leave.

“I know this is incredibly hard, but Hope is a little fighter. Just hang in there, and she’ll be okay,” Jo added, coming to rest her hand on Hayley’s shoulder, and flashed everyone a small smile.

“Thanks, Jo,” Hayley muttered.

Just before leaving, Celeste turned, “where’s Elijah? Shouldn’t he be here?” she wondered, glancing over at Hayley.

“Uh, he went to get some air a while ago, but he hasn’t called or texted me yet. He probably needs some time, but I’ll call him to tell him she’s out of surgery,” she said, sniffling slightly.

“Oh,” Celeste muttered, and nodded. “Well, uh, see you later,” she added, then left. Marcel stayed a while before he, too, left. Hayley pulled out her phone, and stepped out herself, and dialed Elijah. This time it went straight to voicemail, and Elijah’s voice flooded her ears, but it didn’t fill her with relief.

_You have reached Dr. Elijah Mikaelson. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If it isn’t, please text me, and have some patience, I will get back to you._ Then, it clicked, and she groaned. 

“Hey,” she sniffled, “it’s me. Hayley. Look, I know you said you needed some air, but can you please come back? I’ve got some news about Hope, but don’t worry. It’s good. I just- can you come back or call me so I can tell you? I need you,” she rambled, and bit her lip. “Bye.”

* * *

Elijah hadn’t been hungover in years. Two years and seven months to be exact. _Fuck,_ his head felt like it was about to split open and he felt like a truck had slammed into him. He groaned as he slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the dark brown leather of his living room couch. So, he’d passed out on it. He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them and slowly sat up, and the room began to spin, but thankfully he was on the couch. He was holding something in his hand. It was a light blue blanket. Jonathan’s blanket. _What was it doing there? Why was he holding it?_ Then, his eyes drifted to the empty bourbon bottle on the coffee table. With a groan, he slowly sat up, dropping the blanket on the couch, and made his way to his bedroom, holding onto walls to steady himself. He needed to shower and he needed an Advil.

He grabbed four Advils and popped them into his mouth, washing them down with water from the sink. The events of the day before slowly came back in fragments as he turned on the shower. He’d been paged for a victim of an MVC. Hope. _Oh, God_. _How long had it been?_ He wondered if she was out of surgery, if she was okay. It was him, Klaus and Marcel who got called in. He remembered pulling Hayley out of the trauma room, then taking her to the attendings’ lounge as the hot water cascaded down his shoulders and soaked his body. He remembered his siblings slowly trickling into the room as he comforted Hayley. His head continued to throb, so he just held onto the wall of the shower as the water fell down on him and he tried to piece everything together. At some point he’d gone outside and found Niklaus, who had almost broken down in his arms. After parting with his brother, he’d gone out, except he’d gotten into his car.

Thankfully, his head now hurt less, the Advil most likely taking effect, so he washed himself quickly as his mind was flooded by more memories. He must have driven around for a while before dropping by the liquor store and grabbing a bottle of his brand of poison. And then, he’d driven back home. The water had become cold, so he got out and wrapped a towel around his hips. He dried himself off, and put on a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt, and returned to the living room. And, saw the opened box. The memory box. He’d gone through it the night before. Of course, he did. With a sigh, he went and picked up the blanket.

_“You should have the blanket,” Katherine said in an empty voice as she sat on the floor of Jonathan’s room._

_“Katerina…” he trailed off, his lip quivering. His eyes were puffy from tears, and his nose was red, and his face was hollow, his cheeks tearstained. Katherine didn’t look any better._

_“No, you should have it,” she sniffled. “I have the onesie from when he was born,” she said, swallowing thickly as she regarded her own box._

_“You should take this,” he said, pulling out the small golden cross that hung by a red ribbon. He wasn’t a religious man, but Katherine’s Bulgarian family had insisted the christen Jonathan, so they did._

_“Thank you,” she muttered, and put it into the box. After a while, she reached for something else from the pile of Jonathan’s things. “You should have this,” she said, handing him the dinosaur pajamas._

_He looked at them, and a few tears spilled onto his cheeks, and his lips trembled. “I-” he cut himself off, “thank you.” She nodded._

_He handed her the blue-colored bunny she’d gotten Jon when he was a baby. “You should have this,” he said softly, and Katherine took it, and pressed it to her chest, and let out a small whimper, and Elijah’s heart ached. He moved closer to her, and reached to wrap his arm around her. This time she didn’t flinch or pull away, and he pulled her close. Katherine let out a sob, and panted slightly, as if she didn’t have enough air while he held her, tears streaming down his face. After a few seconds, Katherine pulled away, and whimpered, wiping away the tears with her hand. Elijah did the same._

_“I miss him so much, Elijah,” she mumbled, still crying._

_“I know,” he nodded, dropping his chin. “I know. I miss him, too,” he admitted, sniffling. Katherine nodded, and handed him something soft and green from her side of the pile. It was the dinosaur. Elijah took it, and held it close to his chest, though that didn’t help at all, and he brought it to his face, inhaling the still-lingering baby scent, nuzzling the toy with his nose before he finally managed to get a grip of himself and put the dinosaur into the box._

Elijah shook his head, and gathered the rest of Jonathan’s things, putting them into the box, arranging them slowly to make sure he was doing it right. With the amount of times he’d done this, it was no surprise; he was practically doing it automatically. He slammed the lid of the box on it, and took it back to his bedroom. Then, he went and grabbed the now-empty bottle of whiskey and threw it away. With a sigh, he went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee before he set about making breakfast. He wasn’t really in the mood to cook, but he was starving. He quickly made himself a vegetable omelet, and sat down at the kitchen table, grabbing his phone and plugging it in. He had about fifty calls from Hayley, and eighty-four texts. And, about thirty from each of his siblings. _Each_. He groaned. He couldn’t deal with this. He knew he’d made a mistake, but it was one tiny slip. He just needed a day to sober up. And, he would be fine. So, he grabbed his phone and called into work sick. And then, he texted Hayley. _I’m fine, just need some time. Please don’t worry and don’t expect me at the hospital. I will see you later, just give me some time._ Except, just as he looked up from his iPhone screen, he found himself looking at one of the few pictures at his apartment. It was another picture of himself and Jonathan. Except, Jonathan must have been around three years old, and he was sitting on Elijah’s shoulders, grinning, holding onto him with his small hands. He, too, was smiling.

_“C’mon, Jon!” Katherine yelled as she held the camera. “Just one more photo! Please just smile for mommy!”_

_“But, mooom!” he groaned, dragging out the word. “I’m tired of taking photos. C’mon, daddy, let’s go! This is a race!” he squealed, perking up slightly. Elijah laughed, and even Katherine laughed a little._

_“Okay, one more photo, buddy! Just one more for mommy,” she cooed._

_“C’mon, little man, just one more,” he’d said, and Jon started laughing for some reason, and Elijah laughed, too._

Elijah shook his head, and looked away, though he felt tears prickle at his eyes, and he reached to wipe them away. With a heavy sigh, he stood up and put the dishes into the sink. And then, he decided to go for a run.

* * *

Hayley held Hope’s small, tiny hand in hers as Klaus held her other one, the two of them on either side of the bed. She brought her daughter’s small hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to it.

“You’re gonna be okay, sweetie,” she sniffled,” the doctors here are gonna take really good care of you,” she added.

“And, we’re here,” Klaus said. “Both of us. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there before. But, I’m here now and I’m going to try to be your father. I don’t promise I’ll be the best, but I’ll try,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion, and Hayley knew his eyes were filled with tears, too. Then, he turned to her. “I thought I was doing her a favor, you know,” he started, even though they had been over this the night before. “I don’t have the best role models when it comes to fathers. And, that was scary, so I- I am really sorry for everything, Hayley,” he said, his eyes filled with tears. Hayley took a sip of her latte, the second Rebekah had gotten for her.

“I know that, Klaus,” she said softly, her eyes filled with tears. “And, I’m sorry, too. For not making a bigger effort. For going off on you,” she confessed sadly.

“It’s okay,” Klaus nodded sadly. “I’m here now.”

“Yeah…” she trailed off, and pressed another kiss to her daughter’s knuckles. A nurse knocked on the door, letting them know it was time for more scans, so the two of them stayed there for a while longer before leaving, though Klaus had added a rude comment, but she chose to ignore all of it. “Thanks,” she muttered. After a while, the two of them had to leave, and Hayley sighed heavily as she reached for her phone.

“Still no sign of Elijah?” Klaus wondered as he gently guided her off the ICU floor. She shook her head. “That’s unlike him,” he added, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I mean, I’ve called and texted and nothing. It’s just so weird,” she mused as they exited the ICU.

“Perhaps he just got a call or something. I’ll text him, too,” Klaus suggested. 

“Who knows? Maybe,” she shrugged. After a few minutes, she grabbed her phone and stepped away briefly. Again, it went to voicemail, the now familiar message was making her want to scream. “Hey, it’s me,” she said softly. “Call me, please. It’s urgent,” she said softly and hung up. 


	19. Hung My Head As I Lost the War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and Hayley bond while Elijah is at home sobering up. Elijah thinks that one mistake isn't a fall off the wagon, so he goes on and pretends everything is fine. He comes back to the hospital and he and Hayley share a moment. Later, Elijah realizes that he is not actually fine.

With Hope awake and stable, Hayley finally gave in and went home that afternoon to take a shower and change, and grab some of Hope’s things. Elijah’s message played in the back of her mind, and she considered asking Rebekah for his address to go check up on him, but changed her mind. Maybe it was for the best that they deal with this by themselves as much as she missed him and wanted him with her. She returned to the hospital and found most of the Mikaelsons there, and colorful balloons all around Hope’s room along with some flowers as well. She smiled fondly at the sight, and snapped a picture of Hope, sitting up, surrounded by her aunts and uncle along with Marcel, and her dad and Cami.

“Hey, mom!” Hope greeted her cheerfully, and Hayley smiled, feeling tears pool in her eyes. But, this time they were tears of relief and gratitude because her little girl, her Hope was okay. Sure, she’d need to recover, but she was alive and smiling, and that was all that mattered to Hayley. Hayley stepped inside and immediately sat on the other side of Hope’s wrapping her arm around her daughter and pressing a kiss to the top of Hope’s head. Despite the ICU’s strict visitation policies, Vincent and the others had let the Mikaelsons crowd in Hope’s room just for a bit before they would all be kicked out except for Hayley and Klaus.

“Hey there, baby girl,” Hayley said, sniffling slightly, barely keeping her tears at bay.

“Mom, are you crying?” Hope wondered, looking up at Hayley, who wiped her face quickly.

“I’m- I’m just so happy you’re alive, Hope,” Hayley said, and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “I love you,” she added.

“I love you, too, mommy,” Hope said, burying her head in the crook of Hayley’s neck while holding onto Klaus’ hand. [Hope had surprisingly taken to Klaus very easily, not at all bothered he’d just now shown up. Or, maybe if she was even slightly bothered, she wasn’t saying anything about it now]. “Did you bring my bunny?”

“Yes, I did,” Hayley said, sniffling slightly again, and Freya handed her the bag she’d dropped by the door, and Hayley pulled out the gray bunny with its light pink ears, and handed it to Hope, who cuddled it, smiling.

“Thank you, mommy,” she said happily. “Where is Uncle Elijah, by the way?” she wondered, looking around the room.

Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat, and she bit her lip. “Uh, he’s not here right now. He just had some things to deal with at home, but he’ll be here tomorrow,” she told Hope, flashing her a tense smile, and pressed another kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. They all lingered in the room for a few more minutes before Marcel finally kicked them out, and the Mikaelsons all filed out while Hayley and Klaus stayed with Hope so she could eat, and Klaus read her a bedtime story while Hayley curled herself around Hope, and Hope cuddled into her side, still holding onto her father. Finally, when Hope was asleep, the two of them slowly stood up and slipped out of the room.

“Things to deal with at home?” Klaus asked as soon as they were out of Hope’s earshot, raising his eyebrows incredulously. Hayley sighed, defeated, and held up her phone with Elijah’s message, shrugging. “Huh,” Klaus hummed after reading over the text. “Well, I don’t have a psychology degree, but my lovely girlfriend does. Unfortunately, she’s working. So, love, why don’t we grab some awful cafeteria food, then you can call Elijah,” Klaus suggested.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Klaus shrugged, “well, you’ve been calling him non-stop since he left yesterday. One more won’t hurt now, will it?” he gave her a look, and she sighed, nodding.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “But, I’m saying no to the food. I’m not hungry,” she told him, but in that moment her stomach rumbled and Klaus raised his eyebrows pointedly once more. Hayley pursed her lips, and sighed before nodding. “Fine. Let’s go,” she said, and Klaus smirked triumphantly before the two of them made their way to the cafeteria. They grabbed whatever was available, not being too picky, before they sat at one of the tables for two and dug in. Dinner was mostly silent, neither of them in the mood to talk despite the millions of questions racing in their minds, and Hayley had the sinking suspicion Klaus was watching her the entire time.

“Okay, Klaus,” she all but snapped, looking up from her salad, “out with it! What’s up?”

Klaus took a deep breath, then let it out, and glanced at her cautiously, as if he was testing the waters. Finally, he spoke, “you’re worried about him. Elijah, I mean.”

There was no use in hiding the truth, he could see right through her, so she sighed, “yeah. Yeah, I am. I just- he’s never cut me off like this since we’ve met. I know that hasn’t been that long ago, but still. I don’t know… I- what I feel for him is unlike anything I’ve felt before for anyone. Ever. And, I know he cares about me, too. Look, I know it’s early days, but it feels like we trust each other. It feels real. And, now he disappeared and hasn’t answered any of my calls or replied to my texts. And, now he’s texted me this which feels just so…” she trailed off, her voice thick with emotion as she tried to figure out what to say. Klaus nodded.

“Hayley, I might not know you very well, but I do know my brother. And, he feels very deeply for you. You need to know that. Whatever is going on with him right now is probably everything catching up and Hope’s accident bringing up Jonathan,” he paused, and took a sip of his coffee, “he probably just needs some time. Just call him. And, if he doesn’t pick up, text him. Then, go and get some rest. But, don’t give up on him. Trust me when I say that this is real for him, too. He just needs some time, but he won’t leave you,” Klaus told her softly, and reached for her hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Thanks, Klaus,” she smiled weakly at him. “And, for the record, you give pretty good advice,” she quipped, smirking slightly. The two of them finished their food before Klaus went to find Cami, and Hayley walked around, finding a quiet spot, and called Elijah.

She was about to give up and end the call when Elijah finally answered, “Hayley,” he said gruffly, and her shoulders slumped immediately in relief as she leaned against the wall. 

“Elijah,” she breathed out, and sighed. “I’m so glad to hear your voice,” she added, smiling even though he couldn’t see her.

“Me, too,” he said softly, though his voice sounded muffled. Silence descended between them, and Hayley’s mind spun with all the things she wanted, no, needed, to tell him.

“Elijah,” she said slowly, biting her lip, “are you sure you’re okay?” she finally asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said quickly, and Hayley winced involuntarily. “I just- I needed some time, Hayley,” he added in a softer tone. “How is Hope?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” she bit back, and immediately regretted it. “Sorry, that was mean. I just- it was really hard Elijah. And, as great as your siblings are,” she paused and swallowed thickly, “I- I needed you. I’m sorry, I know you needed time, I just- I really did need you,” she admitted, and sniffled slightly.

“Hayley, please don’t cry,” Elijah finally said after a few more seconds of silence. “Please. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you, but I needed some time, and I fell asleep…” he trailed off, and let out a deep, shuddery breath. “Forgive me, Hayley,” he added in a soft tone.

“It’s okay,” she said quickly, and sniffled slightly again. “I know how hard this has been for you, too. So, uh, take your time,” she said, leaning against the wall, “w- I’ll be here when you come back. “Hope’s okay, by the way. They managed to fix everything during surgery, and now she’s in the ICU until tomorrow, and if she’s stable tomorrow they’ll move her to recovery,” she told him, changing the subject easily.

“That’s good. I’m glad,” Elijah said, and she knew he meant it. “I’m so- I’m so happy for you, Hayley,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion, and he let out another shuddery breath. “I really am. I just-” he cut himself off, and sighed heavily.

“I know,” she replied softly. “I know, Elijah. I know,” she repeated, and she desperately wished he was here so she could pull him into her arms and hug him. Gods, she wanted to hug him so badly, to hold him, but he wasn’t at work. “I know,” she repeated in a breathy whisper.

“Thank you,” he muttered in reply. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be there tomorrow,” he added.

“It’s okay, Elijah, you can take your time,” she told him. “But, I do miss you,” she added, smiling fondly even if he couldn’t see her.

“I miss you, too,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she nodded, though he couldn’t see her, but it didn’t really matter. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she confirmed.

But, before Elijah hung up, he spoke again, “Hayley, I-” he started to say, and her breath hitched in her throat, but he cut himself off.

“What is it?” she asked him, her heart hammering in her chest, her pulse quickening.

She could practically see him shake his head, “see you tomorrow,” he finally said, and hung up. And, Hayley let out a heavy sigh, and leaned back against the wall, and took a deep breath before letting it out. She stood there for a few seconds, her mind spinning as she wondered what Elijah could have told her, but she soon gave up on figuring it out, and decided to go to Hope’s room. Hope was still asleep when Hayley entered, so Hayley took off her lab coat and put it over back of the armchair before she settled into it, kicking her sneakers off as she leaned her head against the softer part of it, and shut her eyes before finally drifting to sleep.

* * *

Despite his promise to himself, Elijah woke up mildly hungover the next day. After his phone call with Hayley the night before, he’d gone to the liquor store closest to his place and bought another bottle of bourbon. He knew this wasn’t going to end well, but he didn’t care anymore, and he just couldn’t do it. It just hurt too much, and the amber liquid burning down his throat at least numbed the pain. Though, he managed not to drink the whole bottle, and did take a Tylenol before going to bed, so he didn’t feel like hell the next morning. He showered and trimmed his scruff so it was more of a stubble and got ready for work, packing his bag before grabbing a quick breakfast and coffee. When he got to St. John’s he made sure to head straight for his office, and changed into his scrubs. He didn’t have anything booked for that morning, so he decided to go find his family.

“Well, look who finally showed up!” Elijah turned to find Rebekah standing a few feet away from him, her arms crossed over her chest, looking none too pleased.

“Hello, Rebekah,” he said by way of greeting, but his sister wasn’t buying it.

“Don’t ‘hello, Rebekah’ me!” she snapped, strutting towards him angrily. “Where the hell have you been?” she demanded, glaring at him, her blue eyes filled with anger. Elijah groaned, and pursed his lips, his jaw set.

“Home. I just needed some time,” he told her, and he wasn’t exactly lying. He just wasn’t going to tell Rebekah what exactly he had done because he knew how that would go. Rebekah would tell everyone, including Hayley, and then all his siblings would stage an intervention and be on his case. And, he didn’t need that. He just needed to get through the day. Rebekah sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“And, we needed you,” she said. _Hayley needed you,_ her eyes seemed to say. And, he hated that he’d left Hayley, but he just couldn’t do it anymore. “Hayley was beside herself waiting for Hope’s surgery to finish, and you weren’t there. She was absolutely _wrecked_ ,” Rebekah added, and he winced.

He sighed, “I’m sorry. I just- Rebekah, it was all I could do to focus on Hayley the day of Hope’s accident. I was… Hope’s accident was almost exactly like Jon’s, and I just- I needed time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about Hayley,” he confessed, and Rebekah’s gaze softened, and she reached to rest her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it lightly in comfort.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I know you care about her. It’s just- it’s been hard,” she sighed, and Elijah’s heart clenched. It wasn’t just Hayley and Niklaus who had been affected by Hope’s accident, but his siblings, too. And, Rebekah had been there with him the night Jonathan died, he reminded himself.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just needed to breathe because it felt like I was suffocating. And, I couldn’t be there for Hayley, not the way she needed me to be,” he told her. And then, he reached and wrapped an arm around Rebekah, and pulled her to him, holding her tightly. Rebekah hugged him back, tightly, fisting his lab coat in her hands, and buried her face in his shoulder like she used to when they were kids, and he felt her shudder, but he said nothing and just held her for a few seconds. Eventually, Rebekah pulled away, and wiped her tears swiftly while he just pursed his lips.

“Where are they? Where is Hope?” he asked, breaking the tense silence.

“ICU. They’ll keep her there another twenty-four hours. Apparently, she spiked a small fever last night, so they gave her antibiotics. Marcel said they’d keep her there to monitor her, then send her to recovery. Hayley’s there with her, poor thing barely slept last night when Hope wasn’t feeling well,” Rebekah informed him, and he nodded sadly.

He pursed his lips guiltily, “I know. I’ll go see her now, then I have a few consults,” he told her, and Rebekah’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You’re working?” she asked, her shock clear in her voice.

“Someone has to. And,” he paused, and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and meeting his sister’s piercing gaze, “I need the distraction,” he admitted. Rebekah nodded in understanding.

“Kol’s working, too. He got a break yesterday, but said it’s easier to work. Freya’s working, too. Klaus isn’t. Neither is Cami, she’s slipped back into the role of Nik’s emotional support. Marcel’s working, but I think that’s because it gives him an excuse to check in on Hope outside visitor’s hours,” she paused, and there was something about her expression, something sad and pained. “He was an absolute wreck last night. The night before we were here, and we did manage a few hours in the on call room, but he didn’t let his guard down. And then, last night I went home and he came home, and I just- I’ve never seen him like this. It was bloody awful,” Rebekah sighed sadly, her eyes filled with tears. Elijah had never heard her speak about Marcel like this, this honestly, unfiltered. It was strange, he almost felt like he was intruding something sacred, hidden. But, then this wasn’t a normal situation. Normally, Marcel wasn’t the guy who operated on his girlfriend’s niece, but he did. Elijah nodded sadly, then pulled Rebekah into a hug, and she returned it, clinging to him, her hands grasping onto his lab coat.

“Shh,” he muttered as he rubbed her back just like he used to when they were kids. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured, and pressed a kiss to her temple. “It’s okay,” he repeated, but despite how determined he tried to sound for her, he didn’t believe his own words. Finally, Rebekah pulled away, and took a few calming breaths.

“Anyways, I’m working from home. I might go to the office later, but I can do some admin stuff on my laptop. I don’t really have the energy for meetings right now,” she told him. He nodded.

“And, Hayley?” he wondered, unable to keep from asking.

“She’s with Hope. I suspect she’s getting a little restless, but they won’t let her work. Not yet. Which, I fully support,” she informed him, and he nodded. In that moment, a phone rang. It was Rebekah’s, and she fumbled with it, and frowned after glancing at the screen.

“Our dear parents?” he wondered.

“No, just a client. I haven’t told them, or Finn. I know I should, but I just don’t have the energy to deal with them,” she said, and he nodded.

“Of course. I doubt anyone will be upset if you’re not on the phone with Mother and Father right this moment, Rebekah. Just leave them be,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Oh, I hate it when you’re right,” she quipped, her voice a little more teasing, and rolled her eyes. He gave her a half-smile in return. “Alright, then. I should go. See you later?”

“Yes,” he nodded, and patted her shoulder affectionately. She reached and fondled his cheek lightly. “I’ll see you soon, Rebekah.”

She smiled tearfully, “see you soon. Bye,” she said, and spun around on her heel. Elijah sighed, and headed in the direction of the ICU.

He found Hope’s room easily, the only one with rose gold balloons and flowers in it, and upon entering, he all but gasped at the sight. His niece was asleep, surrounded by tubes and wires, her leg in an external stabilizer, propped up by pillows. She looked so small and pale, the only hint of color being her red hair that was in tangles around her head. A knot formed in Elijah’s throat and tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. He swallowed thickly, and blinked them back.

_Jonathan was lying motionless in the trauma room as Elijah stumbled inside, surrounded by tubes and wires, and the doctors were pumping his chest. His dark brown curls were barely visible, matted by sweat and blood. So much blood. Elijah gasped, frozen in horror._

_“J- Jonathan!” It came out as a strangled yell, and he made a noise in the back of his throat as he braced himself on a wall. “Jonathan,” he repeated, sounding choked, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped closer to the bed._

_“Elijah, you can’t be in here,” someone said, but he didn’t hear them._

_“We’re losing him,” one of the doctors yelled, and Elijah shook his head. No, it couldn’t be. Not Jonathan. Not now. He couldn’t lose him_

_“No, we are not!” another one snapped. It was Rose. “Not in front of his father we’re not! Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”_

_Nothing._

_“Charge to 200!” she yelled, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest, his ears ringing. “Clear!”_

_Nothing. Elijah reached for something to hold onto, to steady himself, but found nothing as his heart hammered in his chest._

_“Still nothing,” one of the residents muttered. “He needs to go,” they added, referring to Elijah, and one of the nurses tried to push him out, but he stayed rooted in his spot._

_“Don’t!” he snapped. “Just- focus on Jon. Focus on him. Do you hear me? Rose!” he demanded, his voice trembling, lip quivering, his words still slurred. She glanced over at him. “You focus on him, okay? Do you hear me?”_

_“Yes, sir. Loud and clear,” she nodded. “Charge to 250!” she ordered. “Clear!”_

_Nothing. Elijah felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was on fire._

_“J- Jonathan…” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper._

He blinked, and shook his head, pushing the memory away. Once again, he was staring at his niece in the hospital bed, holding tightly to the bunny he had given her when he “met” her for the first time, and warmth flooded his chest. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

He looked around and noticed there were dozens of get-well cards all around the room. And then, he saw her, curled in the armchair, a blanket covering her, and he sighed. Hayley. In two steps, he was at her side, and he crouched beside her, reaching to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. She stirred a little, and he froze, but she didn’t open her eyes, so he breathed out a sigh of relief.

He brushed his lips against her forehead, “forgive me,” he muttered against her skin. For what he was apologizing, he didn’t know. Hayley stirred again, and her eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times, and finally focused on his face.

“H- hey…” she whispered, her voice still hoarse from sleep as she stretched and slowly sat up. She looked up, her eyes searching for his, and he met her gaze, and stared deeply into her eyes.

“Hi,” he mumbled, apprehensive, half-expecting her to slap him, or start yelling, but she did neither. He stood up slowly, and offered her his hand, and she took it and stood up, dropping the blanket back onto the chair. He swallowed thickly, “Hayley I-” he started, though he wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t like he had prepared a speech. _And, what did you say to your girlfriend after almost abandoning her when she needed you the most so that could get black-out drunk while reliving the death of your son?_ His mouth was agape, and he closed it as he glanced over at her.

“Elijah,” Hayley said in a low, warning tone, her gaze flickering to his once more. “Please, don’t,” she added, more pleadingly.

His shoulders slumped in defeat, and he nodded. “How is she?” he finally asked, glancing back at Hope. Hayley sighed heavily, and his stomach twisted painfully.

“Better than last night. Her temp’s down,” she said, glancing over at the monitors. Her heartrate’s back up and normal. Pulse ox is good,” she said in a monotone voice, like she was presenting a patient to him.

“That’s good,” he nodded.

“Yeah. Marcel and the others will be by later after rounds,” she told him. “Klaus is with Cami right now, and I’ve no idea where everyone else is,” she said, crossing her arms nervously. He just nodded, and silence descended between them, but this time it was the uncomfortable kind.

After a while, he spoke up, “can we- can we talk?” he asked, pleadingly, and he looked at her, meeting her gaze.

She bit her lip hesitantly before finally nodding, “okay.” Just then, the door to the room slid open, and the two of them turned to find Cami and Klaus standing there.

“Ah, brother!” Klaus greeted him. “Back to the land of the living, I see?” he remarked sarcastically. Cami exchanged a look with Hayley while Elijah rolled his eyes.

“Niklaus,” he said, and then Klaus came up to him and pulled him into a tight hug, and Elijah patted him lightly on the back as Klaus pounded his fists against his back before pulling away.

“Hey, Elijah,” Camille greeted him, offering him a kind smile.

“Hello, Camille,” he said by way of greeting, and gave her a half-smile.

“How are you?” she asked him, her eyebrows furrowed in something akin to concern and suspicion.

“Fine. I just needed some time,” he told her, trying to sound neutral.

“Okay. Well, if you need to talk, you know where to find me,” she informed him. “Unofficially, of course.”

“Right,” he nodded.

Hayley cleared her throat, “so, Elijah and I need to step out for a bit. To talk. I think Marcel might come in with rounds, soon, though,” she said, glancing at him, then at Cami and Klaus, then back at him nervously.

“Of course. We’ll be here,” Cami smiled. “Take your time,” she smiled at them.

“Yeah, we’ll just be here observing Marcel and his minions,” his brother added, rolling his eyes. Hayley nodded curtly, then turned to leave, but was stopped by a small voice, and Elijah, too froze.

“Mom? Dad?” Hope asked in a small voice, and they all turned, moving closer to the bed to find her blinking slowly as she opened her eyes.

“Hope,” Klaus breathed out, relieved, and immediately stepped closer to his daughter. Hayley, too, moved closer to the bed, and sat on the edge, reaching to brush the tangles in Hope’s hair gently.

“Hey, baby girl,” Hayley said softly, and leaned forward to brush her lips against Hope’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Still hurts a little,” she said, and then her eyes flickered beyond her two worried parents to him and Cami. And, those beautiful blue eyes lit up as soon as she saw him, and Elijah inhaled sharply.

“Uncle Elijah!” she exclaimed happily, and he stepped closer.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he said softly, his lips curling into a tentative smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” she said, smiling bravely. “Marcel and the other doctors fixed me up,” she told him.

“That’s wonderful, baby girl,” he told her. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Hope,” he added, his voice thick with emotion, and he swallowed back tears. She beamed at him.

“And, I have Bunny here with me,” she added, and he nodded.

“I’m glad. Is it helping you feel better?”

“Yes! Loads,” she told him, grinning.

“That’s good. I’m glad,” he replied, smiling.

“Okay, baby girl,” Hayley said as she stood up. “Uncle Elijah are gonna go for a bit, but we’ll be back. But, Marcel’s gonna drop by soon, too. And, your dad and Cami will be here the whole time, ‘kay?” she told Hope.

“Yeah, mom,” Hope nodded.

“Okay,” Hayley agreed. Then, Hope brought her index and middle fingers to her lips and kissed them, and Hayley did the same before the two of them touched their fingers, and curled them around each other. Elijah couldn’t help but smile fondly, and he noticed a similar look on Cami and Klaus’ expression.

“Alright, Hope,” he said, moving closer to her, “feel better soon.” He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, and they exchanged a smile.

“Okay, Uncle Elijah. Will you visit me?”

“Of course I will,” he said. And then, he went over to Hayley who was standing by the door, and the two of them exited the ICU. The two of them walked in silence until they reached a more secluded area of the hospital, and Elijah pulled Hayley behind a wall.

“Hayley,” he started slowly, part of him afraid she wouldn’t understand and would be mad, and the other part of him fearing she would forgive him too easily. He didn’t deserve that. But, it was just one tiny mistake. “I-” he wanted to continue, but she cut him off.

“You left me,” she finally said, more like hissed, and glared at him. “You just- you went outside for a bit, and you never came back. And, I called and I texted, but nothing! Nothing, Elijah!” she whisper-yelled, her eyes filled with tears and Elijah’s heart ached. He hated that he had hurt her, and her caused her pain when she was already going through so much. “I just- I know this was difficult for you, I know that… trust me, it tore me apart, but I- I needed you,” she continued, practically yelling, her voice thick with emotion and he flinched.

“I am so sorry for that, Hayley,” he said, his own voice filled with emotion. “I know you needed me, but I- I needed some time to myself to- to get a grip of myself because I couldn’t be there for you the way you needed me to be. You needed me to be strong, and I just-” he cut himself off, and blinked back tears, swallowing thickly. “Everything with Jonathan just came rushing back, and I- I couldn’t be strong for you when you needed me the most. But, I want to be there for you. So, I needed some time to myself,” he told her, and stepped closer to her, reaching to cup the back of her neck. “But, I am here now. And, I am not going anywhere,” he said, his voice filled with conviction, and he met her gaze. “Do you hear me, Hayley Marshall?” he added, staring deeply into her eyes. She nodded, and her lips curled into a tearful smile. “I am not going anywhere,” he repeated, and he meant it. “I promise you.” [It was a promise he intended to keep. He knew he might fail, but he would try. For Hayley, he would _try_ ].

Her expression softened, “okay,” she nodded, and her gaze flickered to his lips briefly. He, too, glanced at hers before meeting her gaze once more, as if asking for permission.

Their lips met halfway, crashing into each other, her teeth capturing his lips and biting them lightly, and he parted his lips, and she slipped her tongue inside as he pushed her into the wall. She wound her arms around him and pulled him close as she deepened the kiss, their tongues tangled together. When air became a necessity, he pulled away, reluctantly, and rested his forehead against hers, their noses brushing against each other, both of them panting heavily. They rested in the embrace completely before pulling away entirely.

“I have a few consults booked today, but nothing urgent. I just thought it might be a good idea to work a bit,” he told her, and glanced at her nervously on the last part.

“Of course. Trust me, I know the feeling. I’m restless, too, but they aren’t putting me back in,” she told him.

“You need to be there for her,” he said softly. “But, if you really do need to work, let me know if you want me to talk to Vincent,” he added.

“Thank you. I’ll try, too,” she paused and bit her lip, a nervous habit he found adorable. “And, next week fifth year starts officially. I kind of can’t believe it. I should be working like hell right now, trying to prove myself, but…” she trailed off.

He turned to her once more, “hey, you don’t need to prove yourself to anybody. Okay?” She nodded. “You are an amazing surgeon, Hayley. And, I am not biased at all,” he told her,a nd she gave him a look. “Okay, maybe a little,” he conceded. “But, I am certain that if you talk to Vincent, you can figure out a way to be there for Hope and work,” he added.

“Thank you,” she told him, her voice filled with emotion.

“Of course,” he smiled, and glanced at his watch. “I have one consult now, then I can come back to you and Hope?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” she agreed, smiling. “Thank you, Elijah,” she added. He just smiled at her, and turned to leave, but she stopped him once more, “Elijah?”

He turned just as Hayley threw herself in his arms, wrapping her own tightly around his neck, but he caught her easily, and held her tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck as she tucked her chin over his shoulders.

“Thank you so much,” Hayley whispered into his neck, and he felt something wet on his skin, and his heart clenched.

“No need to thank me,” he murmured. _I don’t deserve you._

* * *

The day dragged by slowly, and Elijah desperately craved a drink. He spent most of the day with Hayley and Hope, making sure the former ate, and he occasionally managed to pull away for consult. At one point in the afternoon, he got called in for a surgery, a spinal decompression, but he didn’t mind since it gave him something to do. Still, by the end of the day he was both physically and mentally exhausted and he wanted to drink, his cravings back in full force.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” he asked Hayley for the third time. Because as much as he wanted to go and drink, he would stay if she asked him to.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Besides, this might be for the best. You need to rest and recharge, too,” she told him, cupping his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.

He hummed softly, “perhaps you’re right. But, if you do need me, you’ll let me know?” he asked her, staring deeply into her beautiful hazel eyes.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I will. I promise,” she told him, and her lips curled into a smile.

He nodded, and smiled back before leaning forward and brushing his lips against hers. She kissed him back, and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him to her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, then rested his hands on her back. Hayley deepened the kiss, their tongues tangling together, lips molded with each other. It was a slow, gentle sort of kiss, and her lips tasted salty from tears and a little bit of coffee, and he smiled into the kiss as he swept his tongue inside her mouth, needing to taste her. When air became a necessity, they pulled apart, and Hayley brushed her nose lightly against his. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, not needing to say anything, their eyes doing all the talking.

“See you tomorrow,” she said.

He nodded, smiling, then tilted his head and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. And then, he pulled away and turned around and headed for the parking lot. He got into his car, throwing his things into the trunk, and turned on the ignition, and got out of the parking lot. And then, he drove to a bar, further from the hospital, but not Russeau’s since that was one often frequented by his siblings. He parked out front, and locked his car, then got out.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked as he sat on the barstool.

“Whiskey. Neat,” he told her.

“Coming right up,” she smirked, flirtatiously. He rolled his eyes. She winked as she slid the glass to him, and he took it, but hesitated before bringing it to his lips. His mind flashed back to Hayley, and he knew that if he did this, if he went down this road he would be causing her immense pain. But, he was in pain himself. And, he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to just stop feeling it. Besides, it was over. Two and a half years sober gone out the window. He was _not_ fine despite what he told his siblings, Hayley and _himself f_ even. He was done, he’d lost, but at this point he didn’t care. He shook his head and brought the glass to his lips, tilting it. And, he downed it, the amber liquid burning down his throat. “Another one?” the bartender asked, still smiling coyly at him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, exhaling slowly. “Keep them coming.”

“Sure thing,” she said as she filled him another glass which he downed without hesitation.


	20. Don't Be Afraid, We'll Make It Out of This Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Elijah giving in to his cravings. Hayley and the Mikaelsons find out Elijah fell off the wagon when he turns up in the E.R. at St. John's.

Hayley pulled her hair into a messy ponytail as she walked out of the residents’ locker room. She’d finally convinced Vincent to let her work, and he’d told her she could work in the ER, but no major surgeries, which was just fine by her. Thankfully, the elevator didn’t hate her this time, and she got on it, but just before the door closed, a dark-skinned hand kept it from closing. It was Celeste.

“Oh, hey, Celeste,” she greeted the other woman when she entered and pressed a button, flashing her a small smile. Despite initially not liking her because of how she kept looking at Elijah, Celeste had kind of grown on her. That was probably because she’d saved Hope. She was still a bit bitchy sometimes

“Hey,” Celeste said as she came to lean against the elevator walled. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said after a while and Hayley’s heart skipped a beat.

“Is it Hope? Gods, maybe I shouldn’t be working, I should be there with her-” she started rambling, but Celeste cut her off, shaking her head.

“No,” she said, and Hayley noticed there was a slight lilt to her voice, like she used to have an accent. _French, maybe?_ “Hope is perfectly fine. I told you, Hayley, your daughter is a little fighter,” she smiled, and Hayley nodded, relaxing. “It’s Elijah I’m worried about.”

“Elijah?” Hayley furrowed her brow in confusion. “Look, Celeste, I don’t know what you think went on between you and him, but I- Elijah and I are happy now. And, I know you’re an attending and could make my job hell, but _please_ I- I really care about him, and he-” she started rambling again her voice becoming emotional on the last part, but Celeste interrupted her again, shaking her head.

“Oh, please,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not that. I know he cares about you. I see the way he looks at you, Hayley,” she said, smirking knowingly.

Hayley raised an eyebrow, “like what?”

“Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time,” she told her, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. She knew Elijah cared about her, and she cared about him, too. Oh, hell, she was falling for him. But, she didn’t know just how much, or that other people saw it, too. But, Celeste continued, “like you’re the only thing that matters. When he loved me, it wasn’t like this. That was puppy love.”

Hayley was confused again, but this time it was for a different reason. “When he loved you?” she wondered.

Celeste let out a trilling sort of laugh. “When we were in high school. We were high school sweethearts, Hayley,” she told her, and Hayley’s eyes widened slightly.

“Oh,” was all she could say, and Celeste laughed again. “I thought…”

“That I was another Aya or Gia? Nope,” she chuckled, popping the ‘p’. “Elijah has kept me at arms’ length since he got back from the army. And, I hadn’t seen him in years. I guess, maybe there was a tiny part of me that still felt something for him, but that was just… a memory,” she sighed, a faraway look in her eyes. “Elijah and I went to school together. Really, all the Mikaelsons did. And, Elijah and I dated since the summer before freshman year. Before that, we were best friends. We loved each other the way only high school sweethearts do. But, we crashed and burned our first year of university. You know, I went to Oxford with him at first. But, we were so on and off, and we just kept arguing all the time,” she sighed sadly.

“Did you guys break up because he and Katherine slept together?” she blurted, but then immediately regretted it. That was none of her business, but she couldn’t help her curiosity.

Celeste snorted, “you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. But, to answer your question no,” she replied, that French accent more pronounced. “We were taking a break during fresher’s week. Got back together after that for a little while. Then, we had this major fight and broke up. For good,” she explained.

“Oh. Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s not any of my business, really,” she bit her lip nervously. She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with Celeste of all people. But then, the cardio surgeon wasn’t so bad.

“It’s okay don’t worry about it. And, for the record we didn’t break up because of him. I was the one who cheated on him and broke his heart. I completely deserved it. And then, I left, ashamed. And, we didn’t speak for years until he got here only a month before you did,” she said, and Hayley noticed a sad look in her eyes. “I didn’t even know he was in recovery until a while ago. Or that his son died. Or, that he had a son in the first place,” she added sadly. Hayley just nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, shrugging.

“It’s fine now. But, like I told you, I did want to talk to you about something, something I’m concerned about which I think you should be, too,” she said, swallowing thickly, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Okay, Celeste, just out with it,” she sighed, “whatever it is, you can tell me,” she told her firmly.

The cardio surgeon cleared her throat and took a deep breath, “I think- I think Elijah is drinking again,” she finally said, and Hayley stared at her in shock.

“What? No, that’s just- how? He- no, he’s fine,” she stammered. Celeste clicked the red button, stopping the elevator.

“He’s not fine, Hayley,” the cardio surgeon shook her head, “Hope’s accident hit close to home. He’s a mess, Hayley,” she told her, giving her a pointed look.

“I-” she cut herself off, and bit her lip. “I know this is hard on him. Gods, I can’t even- I know it’s hard. But, drinking again?” she shook her head. “No way.”

Celeste looked at her seriously, and sighed, “look, Hayley, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t know him like I know him,” she said. Hayley sighed, her gaze drifting to the ceiling.

“So, you keep saying,” she muttered in a snarky tone, rolling her eyes.

“Hayley, I am trying to help. Look, he’s your boyfriend now, so it’s on you to deal with this. Which won’t be easy considering what you’re already going through with Hope. So, you’re going to need all the help you can get,” the other woman told her with a heavy sigh. She crossed her arms. “Listen, when Elijah and I were in high school, there was a lot of family drama in the Mikaelson family,” she started.

“When is there not any drama in the Mikaelson family?” Hayley quipped, chuckling. Celeste snorted.

“Very true. But, back then Mikael wasn’t at home. He and Esther had some fight, and he left. I never really got the whole story, but there were some issues with Esther,” Celeste continued. “Anyways, it was around that time that Elijah got into alcohol. No one thought it was a big deal. He just partied a lot and was hungover most of the time. Still did well in school, so no one ever really cared. I was the only one who saw how bad it was getting, and every time… I was the one who cleaned up the messes his drinking created. I made the excuses. I took care of his younger siblings even sometimes. It probably didn’t become a thing until uni,” she said.

“Yeah, he, uh, got sober after that,” she said with a sigh. “Fell off the wagon after Katherine cheated, though,” she admitted. She wasn’t sure Celeste knew, but then she was the one who started this conversation.

“Always thought she was a conniving bitch,” Celeste grumbled, rolling her eyes. “Even first year at Oxford. That’s rough, though,” she added.

Hayley took a deep breath, “Celeste, how do you know for sure?”

“I don’t know for sure. I hope I’m wrong. But, I know the signs. And, not just the sighs in general. _His_ signs. He goes AWOL. He pulls away. He pretends he’s fine when he’s not,” Celeste continued.

Hayley pursed her lips, “he lost his son, Celeste. His _son_. Jon was everything to him. And, like you said with Hope’s accident hitting so close to home, he’s probably just overwhelmed by everything. I mean, yeah, I was mad he left me with no explanation and didn’t answer to any of my calls, but he’s back and he’s fine,” she said.

Celeste raised an eyebrow, “left you with no explanation? That sounds like something Drunk Elijah would do. Sober Elijah would never do that,” she said, giving her a pointed look. “C’mon, Hayley, you know I could be right,” she added.

Hayley met her gaze, and sighed, her shoulders slumping, “so, if you are right, Celeste, hypothetically I mean, if you are right, what _do_ I do?”

Celeste’s expression softened, “I don’t know. I’m not expert. I’m a cardio surgeon, Marshall. I cut, fix hearts, and don’t think about feelings. But, I would tell you to talk to him, and if he doesn’t listen, keep talking to him until he breaks. Tell his siblings, tell his sponsor. Drag his ass to a meeting. Look, I don’t know how this works,” she shrugged, and paused, sighing softly. “All I know is that he’s drinking again. I mean, I could be wrong. But, I’m usually not,” she scoffed, and Hayley gave a weak smile. Celeste sighed, “just… just keep an eye on him. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, and licked her lips. “I’ll, uh, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Good,” Celeste nodded, and pressed the red button. The elevator started moving again before it stopped on the ground floor. Hayley straightened herself, but just before the doors opened, she turned to face the cardio surgeon once again.

“Celeste?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still love him?”

Celeste met her gaze, “Threatened much?” she quipped, chuckling a little.

“Not really,” she retorted, but a tiny part of her was despite her coy smile. 

Celeste smirked, “part of me always will. But, it doesn’t matter what I feel for him. He’s not in love with me anymore. He hasn’t been in a long while…” she trailed off just as the doors opened, and Hayley left as people were getting on, not giving Celeste a chance to finish. She didn’t really need to hear it. Especially from Celeste of all people since Elijah and her hadn’t talked about him and Celeste.

She glanced at her watch as she walked towards the E.R. It was 03:15 am. She’d picked just the best time to get back into it. Not really. Unsurprisingly, the E.R. was as busy as ever, and Hayley headed straight for the nurses’ desk.

“Dr. Marshall? Should you even be working?” It was Keelin, and her face was a mask of concern.

“Hey, Keelin,” she greeted her, flashing her a quick smile. “Yeah, I, uh, I was getting restless. Hope’s stable, and she’s got a gaggle of aunts, uncles, her dad and possible stepmom looking after her. I can work a little. Besides, if I don’t work, all I do is worry. Or, I’ll start to cry,” she half-chuckled. “So, put me in Captain. Wherever you want me.”

Keelin flashed her a kind smile, “bed 6. Here,” she said, handing her a chart.

“Thanks,” Hayley nodded, and headed for bed 6. The curtains were drawn, and Hayley pulled them open automatically while looking down at the chart.

“Fuck,” she heard someone curse. No, not someone. She knew that voice. No, it couldn’t be. She looked up, and froze as her eyes locked with his. Elijah. Shit. Elijah looked away though, and Hayley swallowed as she scanned him. He had a bruised next to his left eye and a busted lip. And, he was cradling his hand, the knuckles bruised.

“Elijah,” she said slowly, and took a deep breath, calming herself. “What… happened?”

“I, uh- I think my, uh, my hand’s broken…” he said, his words slurred, and he kept looking around confused. “How did I- fuck, what am I doing here?” he asked, and Hayley’s mind flashed back to her conversation with Celeste in the elevator. [His words were slurred and he seemed confused. Was it possible that Celeste was right? He could be drunk now, but did that mean he’d fallen off the wagon entirely?]

“You’re in the E.R. At St. John’s,” she informed him in the same calm voice she used with patients. She was trying very hard not to be disappointed-girlfriend-Hayley, but Dr. Marshall.

“Oh,” he said simply. “I should, uh, I should go,” he muttered, and moved to stand, but she was at his side, pushing him gently back into the bed. “No, no, no,” he shook his head as he stood up, but his balance was off, and he staggered and reached for the tray by the bed, gripping it to steady himself. Hayley reached for him again, this time grasping his shoulder, more firmly than before, steadying him. “I’m- I’m f- fine. I’m f- fine,” he muttered, words slurred like before, and his breath smelled, unmistakably, of alcohol. “I’m fine,” he repeated, gritting his teeth.

She nodded like she would with any other patient, and pushed him gently back onto the bed. “Lie back,” she said softly, and this time he did. “I have to take a look at your hand,” she added, and he nodded, slumping against the bed. “How did you even get here?” she asked, still keeping her voice even despite how worried she was and the million questions she had. But, she had to be Dr. Hayley Marshall, E.R. badass, not Hayley, Elijah’s girlfriend.

“I think- I think I took a cab?” It sounded more like a question, but she nodded anyways. She grabbed an ice pack and rested it against the bruise already-formed around his eye. He hissed, and squeezed his eyes tightly. He seemed to be ignoring who she was to him, too, and let her treat him like a doctor. Briefly, she was reminded of when he and Klaus got into that fight and she went to treat Elijah. But, he’d been sober and upset then. Now, he was drunk, though probably upset, too.

“So, what exactly happened?” she wondered as she cleaned his lip. Her eyes flickered to his eyes briefly, but he didn’t meet her gaze.

“I was, uh, I was boxing,” he mumbled quietly, though loud enough for her to hear. “Didn’t put my gloves on.”

Hayley couldn’t help but snort, “nice try, Elijah.” She gave him a pointed look, but he just shrugged. Elijah hissed when she dabbed his lip with some antiseptic. “Sorry,” she muttered apologetically.

“I’m fine,” he said weakly.

“No, you’re not,” she retorted. Then, she stands up to grab the blood collecting kit. “I’m ordering you a tox screen,” she informed him.

“I told you, Hayley, I’m fine,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “I- I don’t need… you don’t…” he stammered, shaking his head.

She glared at him, and he stopped talking, or rather stammering incoherently. “Elijah, I can tell you’re drunk. So, tox screen is not optional. We’ll just go with a blood test, though,” she told him in a no-nonsense tone. He ducked his head, and nodded in defeat. “Good,” she said. “Sit up, please,” she said gently and helped him sit up. Your uninjured arm, please.” He did as told and stretched out his uninjured arm and she tied the tourniquet. Then, she grabbed a pair of gloves. She dabbed his arm with antiseptic, searching for a vein. “Work your fist, please,” she muttered and he curled and uncurled his fist repeatedly. She found one and she rubbed the spot again with antiseptic. And then, she grabbed the needle and inserted it, and grabbed the tube to collect the blood, and then released the tourniquet. Once the tube was filled she removed it and set it on the tray, then removed the needle and quickly pressed a bit of gauze onto the site. Neither of them said anything, but Hayley could feel Elijah’s eyes on her.

“What?” she finally dared to ask, her voice a quiet whisper.

“I like watching you work,” he replied, and when she glanced at him he had a lopsided grin on. “You’re beautiful,” he added, smiling dopily.

“Okay, easy there, Mr. Goodtimes,” she said as she applied a Band-Aid to the site. “I’ll drop this by the lab for a tox screen. And, we need to get you X-rayed. She pulled the curtain slightly and found there was no one really around, and Keelin was working on someone else. “I’ll be right back,” she told him. He just nodded, so she left him and went to drop the blood sample at the lab near the E.R.

“Tox screen for John Doe,” she said, deciding that the lab did not need to know just who it was for. Not yet, at least. “And, put a rush on it,” she added. “Page me when you have the results.

Then, she pulled out her phone and created a new group chat with all the Mikaelsons in it, minus Elijah.

 **HM:** _Hi, guys. We have a problem._ As soon as she sent it, she realized she should have mentioned it had nothing to do with Hope.

 **RM:** _Oh my God! Is it Hope???_

 **MG:** _Babe, calm down. I’m with Hope, she’s fine._

Hayley typed back a reply, _DO NOT PANIC!!! It’s not Hope. It’s Elijah._

 **Klaus:** _What did the idiot do?_

 **RM:** _Oh, bloody hell… He fell off the wagon, didn’t he?_

 **KM:** _Oh, Bekah, now don’t go assuming…_

 **HM:** _Unfortunately, Rebekah’s right. He showed up in the E.R., drunk and with a possible broken hand._

 **Klaus:** _Fuck. Where is he now?_

 **HM:** _We’re in the E.R. I’m gonna get his hand X-rayed and we’ll go from there. Non-surgical probably. Once I deal with that, I’ll take him to his office. Can we meet in one of yours to talk, though?_

 **CO:** _We can meet in mine. Poor Elijah, though. Well, we knew this wasn’t going to be easy on him_

 **Klaus:** _But, we never expected the idiot would actually fall off the damn wagon, love!_

 **FM:** _Easy there, Nik._

 **RM:** _We were bloody afraid it would happen, but none of us thought it actually would. I mean, he was fine. At least, he seemed fine._

 **CO:** _Pretty sure Elijah’s become adept at pretending he’s fine when he’s not. It’s only been two years and seven months…_

 **RM:** _You’re probably right, love. I mean, you are the shrink out of us all._

 **Klaus:** _How’d the idiot even break his hand?_

 **HM:** _He said boxing, but that’s just BS. Although, it might have been him punching someone…_

 **RM:** _Punching? You mean he got into a fight? Bloody hell, why am I only related to idiots?_

 **KM:** _Ouch, I take offense to that_

 **Klaus:** _Me too. Although, I do agree, Elijah is being an idiot. Do you know how he got into a fight?_

 **HM:** _Nope, though I’ll get it out of him. Eventually_

 **Klaus:** _Good luck with that, love. Our brother isn’t exactly an open book_

 **RM:** _Well, she is his girlfriend. Perhaps he’ll feel inclined to tell her_

 **HM:** _Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bekah_ _J_

 **MG:** _Right, well, I’ve gotta go. But, keep me posted._

 **KM:** _Me too. See you around_

 **RM:** _I better go get the Chief. He should know about this_

 **Klaus:** _Bekah, you sure?_

 **FM:** _I think she’s right, Nik. As much as we don’t like it…_

 **RM:** _As much as I don’t want to include him in our family drama, he is the Chief of this hospital. And, one of his surgeons possibly broke his hand because he got into a drunken fist fight. And, he’s a recovering alcoholic. Yup, Vincent needs to know_

 **CO:** _She’s right, Klaus…_

 **Klaus:** _Fine. Well, at least this time the lecture will only be for Elijah_

 **RM:** _KLAUS! Will you stop being such an arse?!_

 **HM:** _Okay, I gotta go. Will text once I’m done with Elijah. Talk later._

She pocketed the phone and felt it buzz a few more times as she walked back to Elijah’s, but she ignored it. It was probably Rebekah and Klaus arguing as usual.

Elijah looked up when she entered, but didn’t meet her gaze, so Hayley grabbed the portable X-ray. After the X-ray was done, she took the film to the light to examine it. And, found Elijah stumbling to stand beside her.

“You should be sitting there,” she told him, not looking over at him.

“I’m an ortho surgeon,” he replied, swaying slightly on his feet.

“I’m aware,” she retorted, a little more harshly than she’d intended. He glanced over at her, his mouth half-open in surprise. “Sorry,” she sighed. Finally, she turned to face him, and found he was looking at her, a perplexed look on his face, and he licked his lips nervously. The atmosphere was thick with tension, and Hayley took another calming breath. “Look, Elijah, I’m treating you here. I’m the doctor. You’re the patient. Got it?”

“Crystal,” he muttered snarkily. [Hayley was discovering that Drunk Elijah was a lot more cocky and snarky than the usual, well-spoken, calm and collected Sober Elijah. Part of her found the snark kind of attractive, but she was realizing that this Elijah wasn’t _her_ Elijah. As much as she wanted him to loosen up a bit, she didn’t want loosening up to involve falling off the wagon and spiraling]. She glared at him, and he sighed, bowing his head. “Fine. You win, Dr. Marshall. So, what are we looking at?”

“Well, you’ve got a fifth metacarpal fracture,” she informed him. “Stupid,” she grumbled. “Well, you need a closed reduction. Then, it’s a splint for now, and a brace once it comes off. Congrats,” she told him sarcastically. Elijah nodded, and moved back to the bed, stumbling slightly. She caught him, steadying him by the upper arm, and guided him to the bed. “Okay, let me just get a lidocaine and the splint. I will be right back,” she said quietly. He nodded, so she slipped out quickly, asking for lido and the splint before returning.

“So,” she said as she injected him the lidocaine. He hissed quietly, and braced himself with his other arm. “You gonna tell me what _really_ happened? Because I’m not buying that you got drunk and then went to the gym to box crap,” she told him, glaring at him pointedly.

Elijah sighed, “it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged.

Hayley raised an eyebrow, “it doesn’t matter? You showed up here, drunk and with a broken hand. But, of course it doesn’t matter,” she rolled her eyes, and let out a bitter chuckle. “Because I’m just anyone, right? I’m just any doctor, so it doesn’t matter. Come on, Elijah,” she bit out, her anger simmering just beneath the surface. She would _not_ lose it in the middle of the E.R. She would be calm and collected just like any other doctor. She could be disappointed girlfriend later. She huffed in annoyance. “I’m your girlfriend, aren’t I?” she practically hissed as she did the closed reduction, and Elijah flinched. “Sorry,” she mumbled, flashing him an apologetic look.

“It’s- it’s fine,” he sighed.

“So, what happened, Elijah?” she asked, repeating her earlier question as she put on his splint.

“You know, you’re the one who started this pretending you’re nothing more than my doctor!” he snapped, and she stopped. Their gazes met briefly, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. “And, you’ve pointed out that you’re the doctor and I’m the patient. And, now you want to be my girlfriend, and not just any other doctor,” he said, more calmly, though his words were still slurred. “So, who are you, Hayley, huh? My girlfriend or my doctor?”

“I- I’m just concerned, Elijah,” she said, not really answering his question. “You know I care about you. And, please stop moving your hand.”

“You’re not answering my question. Two can play at this game, you know,” he quipped, but did as she asked. “How’s Hope?”

Hayley gave him an unimpressed look as she finished fixing the splint. “So, now you’re using my daughter to avoid talking about why you broke your hand. Very mature,” she rolled her eyes. “Come on, Elijah. You’re a grown man. Don’t use your seven-year-old niece to get out this,” she told him, glaring at him pointedly.

Finally, after some more hemming, and hawing, and trying really hard to avoid it, he sighed heavily, “I, uh, I was at a bar. After I left here, I went to a bar,” he said, and Hayley sucked in a sharp breath.

“Go on,” she muttered.

“And, I… I guess this guy didn’t like me flirting with his girlfriend…” he trailed off, and Hayley’s eyes widened.

“You were what now?” she all but snapped. He flashed her a look, and she sighed, realizing that the curtains would not keep everyone in the E.R. from overhearing this. “Yeah,” she muttered, more quietly, “I don’t quite like it either…” she trailed off, unable to keep the hurt from her voice as she looked down.

“Hey,” he whispered, but she didn’t move. Elijah rested his uninjured hand beneath her chin, and tilted her head so she would look at him, and their gazes finally met. There was guilt in his dark brown eyes, and she licked her lips nervously. “Listen to me,” he said softly, “it was just flirting, Hayley. I did not act on it,” he told her, his voice firm.

“How can I believe that, Elijah? You’re drunk. I don’t need a tox screen to tell me that. I mean, you were at a bar for God’s sakes,” she bit back, trying not to be too loud, and the hurt in her voice was evident.

“You must believe me, Hayley, please,” he said, pleadingly. “I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “You know how much I feel for you, how much I care,” he added, caressing her jaw.

“Yeah… but, you did leave me when I needed you the most. I just- I don’t know what to believe, Elijah,” she told him, her voice sounding uncertain and weary, and still hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I don’t know how to fix it, what to say to make it okay. But, I- I’ve been cheated on before. Twice. I would never cheat on you. Or, anyone else I was committed to. You don’t have to believe me right now. But, you should at least know that,” he said, still slurring his words, though his voice was firm, laced with emotion.

Her expression softened, “okay,” she nodded. Because, he was right. She didn’t have to believe him right this second. She just had to know him. And, she knew him and his issues with infidelity. So, she knew that if there was one thing he would not do, it was cheat. “Okay,” she repeated, sounding more certain this time. “C’mon, let’s go to your office,” she said after a while and stood up, extending her hand to his. Together, her hand looped through his so that she was supporting most of his weight, they returned to the E.R. Gia gave them an odd look, but Hayley just shook her head.

“Boxing accident. Forgot to put on his gloves. Stupid,” she said, nodding at Elijah.

“Oh. Right. I’ll clean up,” she said, nodding and went to the now un-occupied bed. Hayley just smiled tensely, and gently guided Elijah out of the E.R. and to the elevators. One elevator ride later, the two of them were making their way to the ortho wing, neither of them saying anything. Finally, they reached Elijah’s office, and Hayley ushered him inside before closing the door behind them. The atmosphere was thick with tension; you could practically cut it with a knife.

It was Elijah who broke it, “Hayley,” he said softly, but she cut him off before he could continue.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she demanded, finally letting out the anger she’d been feeling since the moment she saw him in the E.R. “Just- what the fuck were you thinking, Elijah?”

Elijah sighed heavily, “Hayley, please,” he muttered, “it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter? Really? Breaking your hand punching a guy because you were drunk _doesn’t_ matter? Going AWOL and getting drunk while I’m here going crazy waiting for news of Hope’s surgery _doesn’t_ matter? It doesn’t matter?” she yelled, her voice shaking with emotion, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “Really, Elijah?!”

“Hayley, I-” he started again, but she didn’t let him.

“Of course none of it matters! The calls and texts I sent, your siblings sent, that doesn’t matter, does it?” she bit back. “None of it matters! What about- what about me? Do I matter?”

“Of course you do, Hayley, you know I care about you,” he told her, sighing heavily, his uninjured hand on his hips.

Hayley could feel her eyes stinging with unshed tears, but she blinked them back. She was not going to cry in front of him. Not now. “What- what about Hope? Did she not matter, either?”

The look Elijah gave her at that was gut wrenching, and Hayley immediately regretted bringing Hope up. “Of course she mattered,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “She matters so much, and I hated myself for leaving you, leaving her. But, I just- I couldn’t…” he trailed off, and she noticed his eyes were glistening with tears. Her stomach twisted with guilt, and her heart ached for him.

“I-” she started to say, but cut herself off.

“I couldn’t be here,” he admitted, his voice shaking with emotion. “Because being here… being here was absolute torture. Being here reminded me of that night. The night he died,” he said, choking on a sob. She took a step towards him, reaching for him, but he shook his head, so she remained rooted to her spot. “I- I remember everything from that night, Hayley. I live with those memories- I’ve been living with those memories ever since. And, what happened to Hope… it just brought it all back to the surface and I- I couldn’t breathe, Hayley,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “I couldn’t- it _hurt_ to breathe… it just hurt to breathe, so I left. And, I bought a bottle of whiskey, and I- at that point, I didn’t care anymore…” he finally said, and the room became silent, so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

“Oh, Elijah…” she finally said in a breathless whisper. “I- I’m so sorry,” she said. “I just- I’m really sorry…” she trailed off, unable to say anything else. “But, I- I’m right here. I’ve always been here. Things were hard, but you could have told me you were struggling, and I would have-” she was saying, but he cut her off.

“You would have what? Taken me to a meeting?” She nodded in response. He scoffed in response. “Yeah, like a meeting would help,” he muttered.

“Maybe it would have. Or, we could have gotten in touch-” she started again, but once again he cut her off.

“A meeting is not gonna bring my son back! Neither would my sponsor! All of it… it would just be useless because it wouldn’t bring him back!” he snapped, sounding near-tears. Hayley’s heart broke for him, and she took another step towards him. “My son is gone! Dead. He’s _dead_. Jonathan is dead, and nothing is ever gonna bring him back. And, I- it hurts to breathe,” he choked on another sob, and Hayley felt tears prickle at her own eyes. “It hurts to _breathe_ , so excuse me if I took my refuge in a bottle, Hayley,” he said, glaring furiously at her. “Because at least the whiskey numbs this never-ending pain, so there is that,” he added.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she said. “I- I’m just so sorry. I know,” she paused, and sniffled, “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I do have an idea of what you must be feeling, and I- I’m here for you. And, I’m so sorry,” she told him, taking those steps towards him and closing the gap between them, reaching to cup his cheek. A tear slid down Elijah’s cheek, and she wiped it away.

“Please don’t,” he muttered, and she couldn’t help the hurt that she felt. But, she pushed it away. Elijah’s expression softened, “I, uh, I need a moment please. Just… just give me a minute, please.”

“Okay,” she said softly. “Why don’t I go get a banana bag?” she suggested. He nodded, and she left briefly, then returned with a banana bag hanging on an IV pole. “This will help,” she said softly, and he nodded, already preparing himself. Neither of them said anything as she inserted the needle into his arm and hooked him to the IV line, though Hayley could feel his eyes on her, watching her.

* * *

As the contents of the banana bag dripped into his system, the night’s events rushed back to him. [The bar. The flirtatious bartender. Flirting back after a few drinks, though he did recall mentioning that he was taken. So was she. Her boyfriend seeing them. The argument that ensued. And then, Elijah had staggered to his feet. The guy had pushed him first, but he’d fallen back against the bar. And then, he’d swung without thinking. Broke the guy’s nose, too. And, his own hand. Another bartender had pulled him off the possessive boyfriend, and put him into a cab, confiscating his keys]. And, it was just his luck because he ended up at St. John’s. And, Hayley was the one treating him.

At the present moment, they were both in his office, and he could feel her watching him when he wasn’t looking. He was staring at nothing in particular. And then, the door swung open, and Elijah looked up to find his siblings enter, Rebekah being the first, a disappointed expression on her face, followed by Niklaus and Freya along with Camille and Vincent. Just great. Just what he wanted. Hayley, too, looked alarmed, and her eyes widened upon noticing them.

“Guys,” she hissed, though he did hear her, “we were meant to meet in Cami’s office.”

“Yeah, well, we decided to come here,” Rebekah said, gritting her teeth. And then, her blue eyes zeroed in on him. “What the bloody hell were you thinking, Elijah?” she demanded, glaring at him furiously. “Just what the bloody hell? Not only did you fall off the bloody wagon,” she paused for effect, and huffed as she paced in front of him, “but you also got into a bar fight? Stupid! Stupid Stupid! What an idiot!” she yelled, sounding absolutely furious. “I mean… you fell off the damn wagon!” she yelled again. “How could you?”

Elijah just sighed, “not like you didn’t expect me to,” he grumbled snarkily, and this seemed to get Rebekah’s attention for she once again turned to him.

“Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, taking one more step towards him.

He stood up, and sighed in exasperation, “just what I said,” he retorted, his own voice calm, though he was angry, too. “I mean, you walk around me on eggshells and expect me to spiral every time I have a bad day, so does it really surprise you, Rebekah?” he snapped, relinquishing some of the control over his emotions, his dark brown eyes meeting hers. “It really shouldn’t since I’m always such a mess!” he added, a little more inflection in his voice, shaking his head.

“Now, Elijah, brother,” his brother started in an attempt to placate him, but he didn’t let him.

“Don’t, Niklaus!” he snapped. “Just don’t.”

Rebekah swallowed thickly and her expression softened, “I was just worried about you, Elijah,” she argued. “We all were.”

“Really? Just worried? Well, where was that worry when I did need you, huh?” he bit back. “I did not need you to patronize me or monitor my sobriety, Rebekah! That’s what I went to AA meetings and had a sponsor for,” he said in a quieter tone. “What I needed,” he paused, and sighed, feeling tears prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them back, “I’ve been sober for two and a half years. Ever since Jonathan died. And, yes I spent these two years in the army. But, then I came back. And, you, my sister,” he paused, and took a deep breath, “really, all of you seemed fine! Like nothing had happened-” he practically hissed, but Rebekah interrupted him this time.

“We were not fine, Elijah, we were just-” she started to say more calmly, but the way she was speaking to him only served to anger him more.

“I was not fine either! I have been- it still hurts, okay? It still hurts. I am still going through hell even two and a half years later, yet you lot act like nothing happened! You just go on with your lives and the only time you seem to care about me is when you think I’m going to fall off the fucking wagon!” He snapped, now. He knew it was mostly just the grief and the alcohol talking, but he didn’t care anymore. He just let the anger in because feeling angry was much better, much easier than feeling what he actually did feel. Empty, sad, in pain, like he was about to cry. But, he was not going to break in front of them.

“Well, did you even think that maybe we tried? We tried to be there for you, Elijah!” Rebekah practically screamed at him, and he could hear the emotion in her voice, and her eyes were filled with tears. “We tried,” she repeated more, “you just wouldn’t let us!”

He flinched. It was true. But, Elijah wasn’t going to admit it now. “So, you just gave up?” He couldn’t help the hurt in his voice despite the anger. “I was- I was drowning, I was in pain,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion despite the fact that he tried to sound cold and angry. “I was drowning and you didn’t even care about that! You just gave up on me! Just like you gave up on Jonathan!” he yelled. He knew it was a low blow without even seeing Rebekah flinch, but he didn’t care.

“How could you possibly think- how could you possibly _say_ that? We miss him, too! We loved him, too! He was our nephew for God’s sake, Elijah! But, you were too wrapped up in your own pain and misery to care that maybe we were in pain, too!” she yelled, her voice thick with emotion. A tear spilled onto her cheek, and she wiped it away angrily. “You just pushed us all away,” she said more quietly, her voice softer now, less angry. Now, she just sounded hurt. “You just pushed us all away, so yes we gave up,” she admitted, and he flinched. [It was one thing for him to accuse her of it when angry and in pain and still kind of drunk, but for her to admit to admit it was another thing entirely. And, it hurt].

“Get out,” he muttered.

“What?” Rebekah’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I said, get out!” he snapped, anger coursing through him. And, he let it. “Just get the hell out, Rebekah! I don’t need you!”

Rebekah’s eyes filled with tears, “I…” she trailed off, sounding like she was about to cry. And then, she turned around and left. Freya, who had been quiet while he and Rebekah went at it, turned to give him a look that was a mix of hurt and disappointment, then left after their sister. Elijah sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. 

* * *

After Rebekah and Freya left, the room descended into silence. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and Elijah could feel everyone watching him, but he couldn’t bear to look at any of them, so he merely went and sat on the couch, and put his face in his hand.

Niklaus was the one to break the deafening silence, clearing his throat, and Elijah looked up, though he couldn’t quite meet his brother’s gaze. “Elijah,” he began, and hesitated.

“Spare me the lecture, Niklaus,” he grumbled dejectedly, bowing his head, the floor of his office suddenly becoming particularly fascinating.

Klaus sighed heavily, “I wasn’t-” he cut himself off. “Kol went to pick up your car. He just texted that he’s back and it’s in the parking lot,” he told him instead.

“Okay, thank you,” he muttered, and looked up briefly, locking gazes with Niklaus and nodding at him.

“Okay,” his brother nodded. “Well, then, I suppose we’ll talk more later,” he said, and Elijah understood that that meant when Elijah was sober and tempers weren’t running high. And then, Klaus went to lean against the wall beside Camille and Hayley. Elijah understood that, too. Niklaus wasn’t going to leave, but he wasn’t going to start an argument.

Vincent cleared his throat, and all eyes turned to him. “Well,” he drawled, and Elijah felt like he was a kid called to the principal’s office for pulling some stupid prank. In a sense, poor Vincent had to sometimes act like he was a principal, not the Chief of Surgery. Then, surprisingly, he turned to Hayley. “So, Dr. Marshall, how long is he out of commission?”

Hayley straightened herself, glanced over at him, then turned her attention to Vincent, “uh, about three weeks until the splint comes off, then we’ll see. Maximum six weeks,” she said, and Elijah locked his jaw, pursing his lips. She was holding a tablet in her hands, probably with his scans and labs, and he had no idea when she’d disappeared to get it.

“I can, uh, I can probably come back once the splint comes off,” he said.

“That’s not gonna happen,” Vincent said, sounding deadly serious. “But, here is what’s going to happen. I’m putting you on medical leave for the next four weeks,” he explained.

“Honestly, Vincent, I’m fine, I can still do consults,” he started to argue, but Vincent cut him off.

“No, Elijah, you can’t! You fell off the wagon and got drunk. Got your tox screen back. Your alcohol level was hella high. You’re back at square one. And, I’m not letting you back into this hospital until you’ve been sober for four weeks. Then, we’ll talk. Understood?” he said, and despite his calm tone, there was an edge to it. “And, be glad that this is leave, not a suspension,” he added, flashing him a glare.

Elijah sighed and hung his head in shame before looking once again at Vincent, “yes, Chief. You have my word,” he said calmly.

“Good. Look, man, I get that you’ve been through a lot, but you need some help, man. You can’t keep this all to yourself. You need to talk to someone,” he told him, and Elijah sighed in mild exasperation.

“You don’t know what I’ve been going through, Vincent,” he snapped, glaring at the other man. “My son died. He died. I’ve been going through hell for the past two and a half years. And, seven months actually. Do you understand? He meant everything to me, he was my everything and now he’s gone. And, I-” he cut himself off, swallowing thickly and blinked back tears. He was not going to cry here. “And, it hurts like hell. All the time. And, no amount of talking is going to make it okay. No amount of talking is going to bring him back. So, please, with all due respect, don’t tell me what I need because you don’t know what I’ve been going through!” he snapped, and Vincent nodded.

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “Understood. So, you have four weeks to straighten yourself out. Then, we’ll talk, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded, and sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He was done fighting.

“Alright. I’ve got stuff to do,” Vincent said, and with that he left the office, leaving Elijah, Hayley, Klaus and Camille. His banana bag was done, and he pulled the IV out. Hayley handed him a Band-Aid which he applied.

“I should, uh, I should get home. Niklaus, do you have my keys?” he asked as he stood up, and immediately had to squeeze his eyes shut as his head spun. He felt someone’s arm on him, steadying him, and when he finally opened his eyes, he found it was Niklaus.

“Kol has them. But, you’re not driving home yourself,” Niklaus said.

“I can drive myself home, Niklaus, I’m not a child!” he snapped, wrenching his arm out of his younger brother’s grasp.

“Elijah, you aren’t feeling well,” he tried. “And, you’re still technically drunk. It hasn’t been that long,” Niklaus argued, and Elijah groaned.

“I’m fine! And, what I am feeling is patronized, but otherwise perfectly fine,” he snapped, more harshly than he’d intended.

“Elijah, come on, just let Klaus drive you home,” Camille, who had been mostly silent, said gently.

“I’m fine,” he said, but he knew it was pointless to argue. “I can drive myself home.”

“Elijah, please,” it was Hayley this time, and he turned his attention to her. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and she took a few steps towards him, then reached for him, and cupped his cheek. Instinctively, he leaned into her touch. “Please,” she said in a soft, pleading voice. “Please let Klaus drive you home. You might think you’re fine, but you’re not. And, I just- I don’t want something to happen,” she said gently, her voice shaking with emotion.

“Don’t worry, Hayley, I won’t wrap my car around a tree,” he grumbled, but even as he said it he regretted it.

Hayley ignored him, “please,” she pleaded, a desperate edge to her voice, “please just… let Klaus drive you home. I can’t- I can’t lose you, Elijah. And, I’m scared that if I let you drive yourself home, the next time I see you, the paramedics are bringing you into the E.R. I can’t go through that, I won’t,” she begged him, and his heart ached for her. He hated how much pain he was causing her. “Please,” she repeated, “I can’t lose you.”

His expression softened, and he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat, “okay. Okay, I’ll let Niklaus drive me home,” he said.

“Good. Besides, I’m the one discharging you. I’m only doing that if Klaus drops you off home,” she told him, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Elijah just shook his head, but did as told, for once.

* * *

It didn’t take long to drive to Elijah’s, and Hayley was glad that Rebekah happened to have the key. She parked her car, and got out, and sighed heavily. It was kind of strange that in that despite the fact that they were dating, she’d never been to his apartment. It was always either her place, the diner, or their first date at the fancy Italian restaurant. But, never Elijah’s. She couldn’t help but wonder why that was. Slowly, she walked the few steps to the front door of the apartment building and entered. The lobby was simple, much simpler than the one at Rebekah’s, though it was clean and safe. So, she walked to the old-style elevator and got on it, pressing the button for the tenth floor and closed the door. The elevator ride wasn’t long, although it gave her chills and she tried to figure out what to say to him. Except, what could she say to him? She didn’t even know in what state she would find him. Well, if he was drunk, she’d just work on sobering him up. And, if he wasn’t… well, if he wasn’t, she’d have to come up with a game plan.

Finally, the elevator stopped with a jolt, and she braced herself against its wall to keep from falling. She opened the doors, and got off, and walked down the hall before finally stopping at apartment marked fifty-three. She slid the key into the lock and twisted it, and the door opened, so Hayley stepped inside, closing it behind her. She spotted Elijah’s shoes by the door, and breathed out a sigh. So, he was home. Hayley felt a chill run down her spine. No, it wasn’t fear of Elijah. But, more fear of what she would find in the apartment.

She took a deep breath and looked around the dimly-lit, quiet apartment as she walked towards what she assumed was the living room. It was a simple, sort of old-fashioned loft. But, what really got her attention was how empty and cold it seemed. She looked around. It was clean, but there was no décor, nothing other than very minimal furniture. As she walked into the living room, empty except for its furniture, she finally noticed a photograph on the wall that led to the kitchen. It was a four frames stuck together featuring a small curly haired boy, who looked to be about three or four in the pictures. Jonathan. Tears prickled at Hayley’s eyes as she looked at the photos. In one photograph he was running around, kicking a ball, and she couldn’t help but smile. He was a cute kid. Curly dark brown hair, the same shade as Elijah’s, an adorably chubby face with freckles and dark brown eyes. Another photograph featured the same boy, sitting on Elijah’s shoulders, holding onto Elijah by his hair. She couldn’t help but chuckle at how adorable it was. The third photo was a portrait of the little boy, wearing a light blue shirt and navy cardigan, his outfit completed by a bow tie. And, the fourth photo was another one featuring Elijah, Hayley doubted she would see Katherine in any photos around the apartment, and he was swinging Jonathan in his arms, throwing him high up in the air, both of them laughing. Hayley felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she reached to wipe it away before turning. And, that’s when she saw him. He saw on the couch in front of the coffee table, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his dark brown hair messy, a grim expression. She sighed sadly, and took a few steps towards him and noticed that the coffee table in front of him wasn’t empty. On the contrary, there was a wooden box on it, a half-empty bottle of bourbon and another framed photograph that looked like it had been removed from somewhere. With a glance to her right, she noticed a nail on a wall by the armchair and realized that is where the photograph belonged. The photograph in question was of a younger Elijah, his hair messy, but he was shaved and he was cradling a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. No, not just any baby. _His_ baby. Jonathan. Jonathan looked to be barely a few days old, probably when they brought him home from the hospital with a perfect button nose, baby pout and his eyes closed. Hayley’s heart broke when she noticed the glass of the frame was broken. Elijah himself was holding a glass of whiskey with his uninjured hand, though it looked untouched.

“Elijah,” she whispered softly, and finally Elijah looked up as if finally noticing her for the first time. Although, Hayley sensed that he had known she was there and had simply ignored her. Elijah met her gaze, and the obvious pain and grief in his dark brown eyes that swam with tears was like a knife in Hayley’s chest. Slowly, she sat down beside him, and reached for the glass of whiskey, and gently she pried it from his fingers, setting it down on coffee table. Elijah’s gaze flickered to her, though he didn’t quite look at her, so she reached for his uninjured hand and squeezed it lightly, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. Finally, a tear slid down Elijah’s cheek and he let out a deep, shuddering breath. He muttered something quietly, barely audible. “Elijah,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with concern.

“F- forgive me,” he repeated, his voice trembling, the words escaping his lips barely audible, and his lips quivered. “Forgive me,” he repeated, louder this time, almost choking on a sob.

“Oh, Elijah,” she whispered. And then, she reached for him just as more tears fell down his cheeks and he let out a quiet sob. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her, and he buried his head in the crook of her neck, and she felt something wet on her bare skin, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care because he needed her. “Shh,” she whispered quietly, “it’s okay. Just- just let it all out. I’m right here. It’s okay,” she murmured. “I’m right here, Elijah,” she repeated in a husky whisper and that seemed to be what finally caused Elijah to come undone because he let out a heart-wrenching cry and his body shook, wracked by sobs. And, all Hayley could do was hold him as he cried, weeping uncontrollably as if he was finally letting himself feel all that grief he’d kept bottled up for the past two years and seven months.

Eventually, Elijah’s sobs subsided, and he laid back against the couch, reaching to wipe away his tears. Hayley rested her head on his shoulder, and he rested his cheek against the back of her head, and she felt his lips press a kiss to her hair. She reached for his uninjured hand and clasped it in hers, lacing her fingers with his. Neither of them said anything for a while, and just sat there.

“I don’t…” Elijah started to say, breaking the silence, but he trailed off as if he didn’t quite know what to say. So, instead he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She smiled.

He seemed to be at a loss for words, so she spoke instead, “you need help, Elijah,” she said softly.

He hung his head in defeat, “yeah, I do…” he paused, and sighed heavily, “I just- I’m not good at asking for it,” he admitted, and Hayley had to smile at that.

“I know,” she quipped. Her expression softened, “but, you don’t have to be,” she told him, and reached to cup his cheek with her free hand, turning to face him. “We’re here for you. Your family… me,” she said, staring deeply into his eyes. “You just have to let us,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper, and a tear slid down his cheek. She wiped it away quickly and continued to caress his cheek.

“Okay,” he nodded. “You are right, Hayley. I need help,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, and bowed his head.

“I’m here,” she muttered. “I’m here,” she repeated hoarsely. “I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured him, her own voice filled with emotion. And then, they both reached for each other, her hands cupping his cheeks, his non-injured one grabbing onto her hair, and their lips met halfway, crashing into each other. His lips were warm and yielding, and tasted salty from his tears, his stubble scratching her chin slightly as she deepened the kiss. Her lips, on the other hand, were hot, fiery, passionate and demanding, and she poured everything she felt for him into the kiss, pressing her body to his so that they tumbled onto the couch. His fingers sank in her hair, pulling on it gently her hands drifted to the back of his neck, threading his hair. And then, as Hayley slipped her tongue into Elijah’s mouth, her teeth nipping his lower lip lightly, his hands drifted along her back, and he pulled her closer, holding her tightly. Their tongues tangled together, completely in sync, lips molded with each other, and Hayley rested her hands at the back of Elijah’s neck. Finally, when air became a necessity, they pulled away, both of them panting, gasping for air, and she rested her forehead against his, their noses rubbing together. And then, Elijah moved so he was sitting up, holding her in the circle of his arms.

He drew in a deep, shuddery breath, then let it out, and their breaths mingled. “I need you,” he muttered hoarsely against her lips. “I need you, Hayley,” he repeated, his voice trembling slightly.

“Okay,” she breathed out, nodding slightly. “You have me. I’m right here,” she mumbled softly against his lips, her lips curving into a small, tentative smile. “And, we’ll make it through, I promise you,” she added in a breathy whisper as he moved his uninjured hand to rest it on her shoulder, rubbing it gently.

Elijah didn’t answer her in words, but instead brushed his lips against hers. It was slow and soft, not all passion and heat like before, but comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space between them and she could feel his heart beating against her chest. And, she kissed him back. Softly, slowly, offering comfort and reassurance in return.


	21. Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah begins the slow road to recovery with Hayley. Freya drops by, and the two siblings have an honest conversation. Elijah finally shows Hayley the box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, another angst-fest. I'm sorry, but the next two will be all angst. Really, most of this fic is an angst-fest. WARNING! Tissues may be needed!

Eventually, when air became a necessity they pulled apart, both of them breathless and panting, and Elijah rested his forehead momentarily against hers, and sighed, their breaths mingling.

“What is it?” she whispered breathlessly against his lips, and rubbed her nose against his.

He licked his lips, a nervous habit, “will you… will you stay with me tonight? Please?” he asked, a desperate edge to his voice, and Hayley couldn’t help but let out a small half-chuckle.

Her lips curved into a slow smile, “of course I’ll stay, Elijah,” she replied, her voice a hoarse whisper. “Of course I’ll stay.” [She knew he didn’t mean it as a sexual invitation, she could see that he simply needed her there with him. Of course, if he wanted to, she wouldn’t deny him, she wanted him, too. And, sometimes action was required where words were not. But, she had a feeling tonight would be just about holding each other].

“Thank you,” he muttered softly.

“No problem,” she said easily, and disentangled herself out of his embrace. She stood up, “why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll make some tea. You do have tea, right?”

He gave her a confused look, “of course I do,” he rolled his eyes.

She grinned, “well, judging from this apartment, I wasn’t sure,” she quipped teasingly. Elijah looked a little taken aback, but she just chuckled, “I mean that it’s kind of empty, Elijah, is all.”

Elijah looked a little flushed, “oh…” he trailed off, and looked down. “I just- I never really found any reason to do much with it. It doesn’t- it’s not home for me, Hayley. I didn’t feel the need to make it one. It’s just the place where I eat and sleep when I’m not at the hospital,” he admitted, averting his gaze.

“Oh.” The word fell from her lips, a juxtaposition of surprise and understanding and she sat back down beside him, reaching for his uninjured hand, lacing her fingers with his, and squeezing his hand in comfort.

“Yeah…” he shrugged. “I just- there are some photographs around, mostly of Jonathan. But, at the same time I don’t need any more reminders. It’s- the reminders are everywhere,” he said, and his voice broke on the last part. She just nodded sadly, and scooted closer to him, silence descending between them.

“He, uh, he looks like you,” she said after a while, breaking the silence. Elijah just smiled sadly, and she pursed her lips. “Okay, well, I’m gonna go make that tea,” she muttered when it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything else. She then leaned closer to him and pressed her lips to his temple. And then, she stood up, though she still held his hand, pulling him along with her.

“Okay,” he said. “You’ll find all the basic necessities in the kitchen,” he added as he turned to go towards the small staircase that probably led to the bedroom. Hayley grabbed the bottle of bourbon from the living room and Elijah’s untouched glass and poured the contents in the sink, the smell of alcohol invading her senses. Then, she threw the bottle away and sat about brewing them both tea.

Elijah returned several minutes later, wearing, to her surprise, sweatpants and a v-neck t-shirt that clung to all the right places, and showed off his dog tags and biceps, too, his slightly wet hair sticking up in wet spikes. She couldn’t help but let her eyes wonder, checking him out, and felt her mouth water. And then, she reminded herself that right now wasn’t the time, and looked back up at him, meeting his gaze. A half-smile stretched onto his lips as he leaned against the kitchen island, and she stepped closer to him to set the two mugs onto the coasters, and she felt his scent waft closer. He smelled of something woodsy and of paper and Old Spice, something entirely Elijah and she desperately wanted to kiss him.

“Thanks,” he muttered as he held his mug. “There’s, uh, a clean toothbrush in the bathroom, clean towels on the rack and a t-shirt on the bed for you,” he told her, and she smiled.

“Thanks. I’ll, uh, I’ll shower in a bit. Are you feeling any better?”

He sighed heavily, “a little,” he admitted, and she flashed him a small smile. He took a sip of his tea. “I, uh, I’ll need to go to a meeting tomorrow.”

“Okay. Whatever you need,” she told him as she, too, took a sip of her tea. “Do you, um, do you want me to drop you off or go with you?”

“Just drive me there if you can?”

“Sure, of course,” she said, and he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Thank you, Hayley,” he said. “I mean it. I don’t- I don’t know what I would do without you,” he admitted, and reached to stroke her cheek gently. He stepped closer to her, the tea abandoned on the coaster, and Hayley inhaled sharply, his scent overcoming her, and Gods she was so screwed. But, Elijah merely tilted his head and pressed his lips to her forehead, and she shut her eyes, letting out a breath she’d been holding. “Thank you,” he muttered against her skin. And then, he stepped back, and they both returned to drinking their tea in comfortable silence. Finally, when they were both finished, Elijah took both mugs to wash them. “Why don’t you go shower. Take the stairs and make a right for my bedroom. I’ll join you in a bit,” he told her, glancing over at her briefly.

“Sure,” she said and moved towards the staircase, but then froze in the middle of the living room as something occurred to her. “Elijah?”

“Yeah?”

“There aren’t any more bottles of alcohol at the apartment, are there?” she asked him, deciding to be blunt instead of beating around the bush.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “But, you can have a look around if-” he started to say, but she cut him off.

“I trust you,” she smiled. “I just wanted to be sure.”

“Okay,” he said tersely, and she winced a little. And then, she turned and walked the rest of the distance to the staircase. Upstairs, there were only two doors, and she opened the one on the right, finding a modern-looking, but modest bedroom. King-sized bed, walk in closet, door to the ensuite bathroom, two nightstands and that was it. Just like Elijah said, there was a black t-shirt on the bed. She grabbed it, and went into the bathroom where she quickly took care of her business, brushed her teeth, then a shower, letting the water cascade over her body, relaxing her tense muscles before she washed herself and got out, grabbing the fluffy gray towel from the rack and wrapping it around her body. She quickly dried herself, then pulled on the t-shirt and released her hair from its knot at the back of her head, letting it fall over her shoulders in waves. She exited the bathroom to find Elijah already in the room, though he was holding the box she’d noticed on the coffee table when she came in and looked like he was going to put it in the closet. She flashed him a tense smile, and her gaze wandered to the box before flickering back to him.

He cleared his throat, “it’s, uh, it’s a memory box,” he told her simply.

“Oh,” she muttered as she stepped closer to the bed, and licked her lips nervously as she glanced at it again before looking back at Elijah.

He seemed to see the question in her eyes because he spoke next, “maybe I’ll show you tomorrow,” he said softly, and she nodded.

“Okay,” she said. He went and put the box in the closet before returning and the two of them pulled the covers off the bed before Elijah sat down on the side by the window, and Hayley crawled into bed, moving closer to him. They reached for each other at once, wrapping their arms around each other, and their lips met halfway, molding together, urging and desperate against each other. Their tongues tangled together, and Hayley felt Elijah’s injured hand rest on her back as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him closer, pressing his body against hers, and she could feel his heart beating against her chest. Finally, when air became a necessity, they pulled away, reluctantly, and Hayley rubbed her nose against his. And then, he slid one arm around her body, pulling her close, and buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent which sent chills down her spine. She just smirked, and rested her hand on his chest, her fingers instinctively reaching for his dog tags, her thumb tracing the engraving lightly.

Somehow, Elijah fell asleep while Hayley lay there, her mind spinning. The events of the past few days, almost a week, really, flashed back in her mind. And, yet despite everything that had happened, one thing Hayley knew for certain. Somehow, in the middle of all the craziness and the family drama, she had fallen in love with him. She’d fallen for him the way you fall asleep, slowly and then all at once. Elijah Mikaelson made her feel things she had never felt before, made her feel alive and gave her a sense of belonging, and he was so kind, and so good, and he made her feel safe, and everything Jackson was not and would never be. And, she was in love with him. She knew that him falling off the wagon was going to be an issue, that it would be a while before they would be on track like they used to be, but she planned to be with him every step of the way. She wasn’t going to give up, not on Elijah, never on Elijah. To her, he was worth it.

Gently, she caressed his hair, her fingers running through it absently, but he didn’t move, didn’t even stir. “I love you,” she whispered softly, so quietly it was barely audible, and he wouldn’t hear her. But, she needed to say it. Even if he was asleep. And then, she cuddled closer to him nuzzling his cheek lightly and let her eyelids drop, her eyes fluttering closed.

* * *

Elijah woke up as the rays of sunlight streamed through his window, and he felt Hayley’s warm body pressed against his, her head resting on the pillow next to him, her arm draped over his torso, her bare feet tangled with his. So, after all it hadn’t been a dream. Despite the headache he had, he didn’t move, and instead watched her as she slept, her dark hair spilling over the pillow. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, and Elijah wanted nothing more than to wake up like this every day for the rest of his life. Slowly, he reached brush some of the hair away from her face, and he caressed her tenderly, his fingers trailing along her jaw and to her neck.

Hayley stirred, and tilted her head, resting it against her elbow as she looked at him. “Good morning,” she said softly. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“Hmm…” he sighed as he fiddled with his dog tags, tracing the engraving with his thumb, “possibly. A little,” he admitted, and Hayley looked at him fondly as an amused smile tugged at the corners of her lips. The atmosphere between them soon became tense as the events of the previous day flashed back in Elijah’s mind and his eyes drifted to the ceiling before he looked back to Hayley. He reached for her hand with his uninjured one and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand before he dropped it onto the crook of his neck while he rested his on her arm, absently rubbing it. Hayley’s fingers caressed him gently, then she cupped his cheek, and stroked his jaw with her thumb. Once again, he looked away and to the ceiling as he thought back to the previous day’s events.

“You okay?” she asked softly, concern clear in her voice, and he could practically see it in her expression, too, as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes.

He sighed heavily, “I don’t know. My head hurts. But, I-” he paused, and finally turned to look at her, his dark brown eyes meeting her hazel ones, “I don’t know…” he trailed off, turning to look away once again.

“Hey,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, and tilted his head, forcing him to look at her, “despite everything that’s happened, we’re still here,” she told him. “You’re not alone. I’m right here,” she told him more firmly, her voice filled with reassurance. And then, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his. It was a lingering sort of kiss, slow and soft, and comforting in a way words would never be, filled with reassurance. _I’m here_ , her lips seemed to say as they molded with his. _I’m not leaving._ _You are not alone._ And, he kissed her back, reaching to cup the back of her neck with his uninjured hand, his fingers sinking in her soft tresses. And, as their breaths mingled he wished he could believe her, but deep down a part of him still feared that at some point she might realize that he was too much, too much of a mess, too broken and damaged for her, and when that moment came she would run. And, he would let her. Because no matter what, no matter how much it would pain him, he wasn’t going to force her to be with him. He cared enough about her to let her go if that was what she wanted. When air became a necessity, they finally pulled away, and Hayley smiled softly at him, and rubbed her nose against his.

“We should, uh, we should probably get up,” he told her, his voice still hoarse from long stretches of silence.

“Yeah…” she trailed off, and slowly disentangled herself from their embrace.

He, too, got up, and quickly went to brush his teeth and grab an Advil from the bathroom cabinet while Hayley checked her phone. “Why don’t you take a shower and freshen up while I see about breakfast,” he told her as he returned, and she nodded, walking over to the bathroom. Meanwhile, he went to the kitchen and set about making breakfast. He decided to be a little fancier, so he made poached eggs, toast and smashed some avocado. He was cutting up some salmon when Hayley entered, and he felt her arms around him, and her cheek rest against shoulder, and he quickly relaxed beneath her touch. 

“Mm, smells good in here,” she murmured as she tilted her head and pressed a kiss to the mole on his neck, and he shut his eyes briefly at the gesture.

“Careful there, I am trying to cut something here,” he said as he gripped salmon in place with the tips of his fingers on his injured hand, but he felt pain shoot up, and he hissed in pain.

“You okay?” she asked, moving away and coming to stand beside him, leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, just a little painful,” he said vaguely.

“Why don’t I do the cutting here and you go shower?” she suggested. “I’m surprised you managed this much one-handed,” she added, gesturing to the food.

He sighed. She was right. “Okay,” he conceded. “Thank you,” he muttered.

He jogged up the stairs and went to his bedroom, pulling out fresh clothes for the day before going to shower. After showering, he dried himself and put on a fresh suit before returning downstairs where Hayley was brewing coffee, the salmon nicely cut. He finished putting the salmon on top of the toast and added the poached eggs along with the Hollandaise sauce before taking the plates to the table, setting one in front of Hayley and pressing a quick kiss to her temple, and the other next to her for himself. He took the seat beside her, “bon appetite,” he told her softly.

“Thanks, this looks great,” she told him as she tucked in. “But, you didn’t have to go all out. I would’ve been fine with milk and cereal,” she added.

“No problem. I wanted to,” he smiled softly at her. “And, it’s the least I could do after last night,” he added, a guilty edge to his voice. Hayley just flashed him a smile, but he reached for her, cupping her cheek with his free hand, “hey,” he muttered softly, as he looked into her eyes and she met his gaze, “I really am sorry about last night. And, the night before that, abandoning you while you were going through everything with Hope. Please forgive me,” he said pleadingly, his voice thick with emotion.

Hayley licked her lips, “it’s okay. I forgive you,” she told him and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Then, she pulled away and returned to her food. The two of them continued to eat in silence, though it was a comfortable kind of silence, and Elijah couldn’t help but glance over at Hayley every few seconds. He had to admit, there was something arousing about her in his shirt, and he liked it.

“Mm,” she moaned after taking a bite of the toast, her eyes shut in pleasure, “this is delicious.”

He was prevented from replying by his doorbell ringing loudly, and he stood up to get it.

“I wonder who that is,” Hayley mused as she took a sip of her coffee. He gave her a knowing look.

“I just wonder which of my siblings it is,” he quipped, rolling his eyes. And, the answer, on the other side of the door, was Freya. He swung the door open and his sister stood, nervously on the other side of . “Freya,” he said by way of greeting.

“Hey,” she said, flashing him an awkward smile. “Can I come in?”

“Uh, sure,” he said, and moved to let her inside, then led her to his kitchen. Freya was looking around curiously, and he realized she hadn’t been to his apartment since he’d moved in. _Did she think it was as empty as Hayley had mentioned?_

“Oh! Hey, Freya,” Hayley exclaimed, and the two women exchanged a hug.

“Hey, Hayley,” Freya greeted her as they exchanged cheek kisses. Once they pulled away, they both turned to face him. Freya cleared her throat awkwardly, “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything,” she said, her eyes darting between him and his girlfriend.

“Nope, you’re good,” Hayley smiled.

“I just- I was…” Freya paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “Elijah, I was wondering if we could talk,” she said, and looked at him nervously.

He inhaled sharply, and licked his lips as it occurred to him just what she wanted to talk about. But, he owed her and the rest of his siblings this. So, he nodded, “okay. Sure.” Freya’s lips curled into a soft, timid smile.

Hayley’s eyes darted between them, and she, too, licked her lips nervously. She cleared her throat, “I’ll, uh, I’ll give you two time to talk,” she said, coming over to him and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. She smiled encouragingly when she pulled away, “thanks for breakfast,” she told him.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled at her. And, with that she flitted upstairs, and he turned to face his older sister. “C’mon,” he muttered as he led her towards the kitchen. “Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? You hungry?”

She shook her head, “I ate on the way. Carbs for courage or something,” she half-chuckled. “But, coffee would be good,” she said as she sat on the stool at the kitchen island.

“No problem. Long, short? Milk or sugar?” he asked her as he grabbed a mug with his uninjured hand.

“Um, just long. No milk or sugar, I’m good,” she said, flashing him a nervous smile.

He turned on the coffeemaker and pressed the button to make an Americano, and leaned against the kitchen counter behind him. Once the coffee was ready, he grabbed the cup and handed it to Freya.

“Thanks,” she muttered with a grateful smile. An awkward silence settled between them, and Elijah busied himself finishing his breakfast before dumping his plate in the sink. Then, he took a long sip of his own coffee before he looked over at Freya who was still looking around, curiosity etched on her face. “Nice place,” she told him.

Elijah took a deep breath, and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and looking at his sister once more. “Freya, let me just say how sorry I am about yesterday. You all had to see me- at my worst, and I am incredibly ashamed and sorry for that. Please forgive me,” he said, an emotional edge to his voice. Finally, Freya looked at him properly and met his gaze.

“It’s okay, Elijah,” she said. “Really, it is. We- I forgive you. And, I am sorry, too. I’m sorry I’ve been treating you like you would fall apart any minute, and I’m sorry that this is what it took for us to understand what you’re like at your worst. And, just how much you’re still hurting over Jonathan’s death. I don’t think any of us- I don’t _I_ realized just how badly you were hurting. And, I’m truly sorry about that,” she said, her own voice thick with emotion.

He bowed his head and sighed heavily, “it’s okay. I- I have to admit there were times I was barely holding on. But, I- I didn’t want the pity, so I kept it all in and pretended I was fine,” he admitted, looking up at her once more, his own eyes filled with tears.

Freya sniffled, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to pretend,” she said softly, her voice filled with regret.

“It’s okay,” he sighed, and took another sip of his coffee. Silence settled between them once more, but this time it wasn’t awkward, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “You know, the pretending was just here with you all. When I was with the army in Iraq it was actually easier to be okay. Out there, I could focus on the moment, on saving people and staying alive, I- I didn’t need to think. I actually didn’t think of-” he paused, and felt his throat closing up like he was going to cry. Freya gave him a reassuring glance, so he kept going, “I didn’t really think of him. Of the accident. I only thought of him on his birthday and death anniversary. The two days I took to grieve him and miss him. And then, I came back here, and just my luck the hospital you all, and myself included work at is called St. John’s, and,” he paused once more, and sniffled, and felt tears threaten to fall, but he blinked them back. “And, everything reminds me of him. It’s like- it’s like the grief is just screaming in my face. And, it’s all I can do to _think_ of something, anything, else. So, I pretended I was fine. Because you all expected me to break and fall off the wagon. And, I hated the pitying looks and the kid gloves. But, I think I was also pretending for myself. Because I was scared that if I let myself not be fine for even a moment the grief would just swallow me whole and I-” he cut himself off, his lip quivering, and he swallowed thickly, and blinked back the tears that were about to fall, “I would be powerless to it. And, I would fall off the wagon. And, I was afraid of that happening,” he finally admitted, and felt tears spill down his cheeks, and he let out a shaky, tearful breath. Freya reached for him then, and he felt his sister’s hand rest on top of his, and she laced their fingers together, squeezing his lightly.

“Oh, Elijah,” she muttered softly. “Oh, I’m so sorry. God, I’m just- I’m really sorry. I- I never told you how sorry I was that I wasn’t there for you when Jon died. I-” she cut herself off, and swallowed back tears, “I know how hard it was for you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I put my career first for so long, I wasn’t there for my family. And, I’m truly sorry,” she confessed tearfully.

He reached to wipe his tearstained cheeks, and took in a deep, shaky breath, “I forgive you, Freya,” he said softly. “And, you are right, it did hurt. But, you are my sister and I forgive you,” he added, his own voice thick with emotion. “When Jonathan died, I felt so alone because Katerina and I… losing Jon broke both of us and was the final nail in the coffin that was our marriage. And, nothing made sense to me after I lost him, the grief threatened to swallow me whole so I left. I ran. But, now I’m back and like I said, everything is reminding me of… of him, of losing him, and I’m just trying to hold on. By pretending I’m fine when I’m not. Partly for you all, and partly for myself,” he chuckled bitterly. “Not sure how well that’s working as far as coping mechanisms go,” he added.

Freya, too, let out a tearful chuckle, “Cami would probably know. I think- I think that when you lost Jonathan everyone was trying to be strong for you because we were scared you’d lose your sobriety. I’m sorry that you felt like we’re just waiting for you to break and treating you with kid gloves. But, after you came back from Iraq… it’s just that- you’re different, Elijah. Ever since you came back, you’re different, and sometimes we don’t know how to act around you…” she paused, and swallowed thickly, “I’m sorry for hurting you. And, yes, you are right none of us know what it feels like Elijah, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care,” she sniffled, and reached to wipe away her own tears. “You know we loved Jonathan even if we didn’t see him as much as we would’ve liked,” she sighed, and he nodded. “I think that now with Niklaus going through this with Hope, and Hayley, too, because she feels like part of this family… I think we realized we can’t be strong for all of you. And, we’ve been through this with Jonathan, which hurt, but we put on a brave face and went on with our lives because we couldn’t break,” she paused and let out a shaky breath, and her gaze locked with his once more. “In case you did,” she added quietly, and Elijah felt a tear slide down his cheek, but wiped it away hastily. “But, now we realized that putting on a brave face doesn’t really help anyone, and I for one am really sorry for all the pain that caused,” she told him, and he nodded.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, and sighed heavily, “pretending doesn’t seem to do anyone any good.” He took a shaky breath, “I- I’m not good with emotions even though I am apparently an emotional mess. But, I’m not good at opening up to people, or letting anyone see me break. And, I know you all are my family, but- Freya, you and Finn left home when the others were still pretty young. And, I was the eldest remaining child. So, I kind of learned fairly early on to be strong for them all. And, I suppose the habit kind of stuck because after Jonathan died, I didn’t want anyone to see my pain. Even the days I was barely holding on. I can’t promise I will let you all see me break, I can’t do that. It’s too much. But, I can promise to be more open about it, okay?” he finished, his voice trembling, and he felt tears slide down his cheeks. He reached to wipe them away quickly.

“Of course. Whatever you need. We’re all here for you,” she told him, flashing him a tearful smile. And then, she hopped down from her stool and came over to him, and wrapped her arms around him. At first, the gesture surprised him, but he relaxed quickly, and wrapped his own arms around her, returning the hug. They rested in the embrace for a few seconds before she pulled away and returned to her seat, taking another sip of her coffee. He noticed that there was a tension in her expression, and she had a faraway look in her eyes.

“What is it?” he asked her softly, breaking the brief silence. When she didn’t say anything, he added, “Freya, you can tell me, you know.”

Finally, she turned to him and her eyes were filled with tears once more. She sniffled, “there is-” she cut herself off, and took a shaky breath, and he reached to take her hand, squeezing it lightly, “there is another reason I… wasn’t really there for you after Jonathan died. Like I said, I was really all about my career. Because I’m a woman and I wanted to prove anyone who didn’t believe me wrong. And, because I’m a woman, I pushed away all distractions. College, med school, two residencies at once… I’ve mastered three specialties and I’m double-board certified. But, there was this once that I-” she paused once more, and swallowed thickly, “I gave in. I met a guy. His name was Mathias. We were in love. And, then we weren’t careful once. And, I got pregnant,” she confessed, and Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat. “Things fell apart with Mathias. But, even before that I- I didn’t want to have kids. Not yet, at least. So, I decided to get an abortion. I wasn’t one-hundred percent about it, but when Mathias and I broke up for good, I knew. So, I made an appointment. Put a good friend as my emergency contact. And then, I was in surgery the day before the appointment,” she paused, and took a deep breath. She was still looking in front of her, refusing to meet his gaze, but he just sat there patiently. “And, I collapsed. A couple hours later I woke up in the hospital. Apparently I had an ectopic pregnancy and I lost the baby,” she finished, and she finally turned to look at him. And, the look in her eyes was gut wrenching.

“Oh, Freya…” he muttered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I-” she started to say, but she broke into a sob. “I just felt so broken and alone. And, after Jonathan died… I- I felt like this was because of me. Because I had been so obsessed with my career I wanted to get an abortion. And, then I lost him,” she said, letting out a heartbroken sob. “It was a boy. So, I really felt like this was all my fault, and someone as broken as me couldn’t- that’s why I pulled away. And, I’m just- I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she cried, and Elijah immediately reached for her, taking her into his arms. Freya’s gut wrenching sobs filled the room, and her body shook even as he held her, and she clung to him like a child. And, all Elijah could really do was hold her tightly, but still he felt helpless. There were many times he had held Rebekah like this, comforted her, but Freya was the older sister. He hadn’t done this with her, possibly ever. But, a part of him was glad she was trusting him with this.

“Oh, Freya, I’m so sorry. Shh. I’m sorry,” he whispered softly in her ear as he rubbed her back gently. “Shh,” he murmured quietly, still holding her.

Eventually, Freya calmed down and her sobs subsided, and she let out a small whimper as she pulled away, wiping her cheeks rapidly.

“Oh God,” she muttered. “I’m such a mess, I’m sorry. I just- I haven’t told anyone, but I- last night I realized that my miscarriage had something to do with me not being there for you. I guess I just needed to explain. I’m really sorry,” she told him, her voice filled with regret.

“Don’t apologize,” he told her. “Hey, listen to me,” he said, and she looked at him once more. “I am so sorry. I’m sorry that you kept this to yourself for so long and felt like you couldn’t tell anyone. But, Freya, believe me when I say, none of this was your fault. Not the miscarriage, and certainly not Jonathan dying. You made a choice, and I know you didn’t make it lightly. Sometimes… sometimes these things just happen. Okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, sighing heavily.

“Why didn’t you tell me, or anyone before?” he wondered after a few more minutes of silence.

“I didn’t think that my loss could ever compare to yours. Or, that I deserved any sort of comfort. Especially, considering I planned to have an abortion, but ended up miscarrying,” she admitted sadly, and looked down.

His expression softened, “Freya, there is no need to compare losses. A loss is a loss. I should know. So, please believe me when I say, your loss is not insignificant. It’s okay to feel it and grieve it. And, it’s okay to open up to other people about it,” he told her gently.

Freya’s lips curled into a tearful smile, “thanks, Elijah,” she said softly.

“Of course,” he said, squeezing her shoulder.

“I must look like such a mess. And, I have to get to the hospital,” she told him. Behind them, they heard soft footsteps, and both of them turned. It was Hayley.

“Sorry, wasn’t eavesdropping. Just wanted to let you know you can freshen up here. I do have my makeup bag with me,” she said with a soft smile.

“Oh. Thank you, Hayley,” Freya said with a grateful smile.

“No problem,” the brunette said, and smiled.

“And, thank you, Elijah. For everything,” Freya said as she stood up and hugged him again. He returned the hug, squeezing her a little.

“No problem. We’re family, Freya,” he told her. “There’s another bathroom over there,” he told her, gesturing to a door close to the front door. She nodded gratefully. Then, Hayley handed her a bag, and she went to the bathroom to freshen up while he leaned against the kitchen island. Hayley came over to him, and he reached for her immediately, pulling her to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. She wrapped her own around his neck, and nuzzled his cheek lightly.

“You okay?” she asked softly, pulling away from him and reaching to cup his cheek, caressing his jaw lightly.

“Yeah,” he muttered weakly. “I’ll be okay.”

Her lips curled into a soft smile, and she stared deeply into his eyes. And then, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He deepened the kiss, and his own hand cupped the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. It was a gentle, lingering sort of kiss, filled with comfort and reassurance, and Elijah lost himself in the feel of Hayley’s lips against his, her hands on his skin, in the feeling of her.

* * *

A throat clearing made them pull apart, and Hayley felt her cheeks burn slightly as she looked at Freya who was standing in the middle of the living room, looking at them in amusement. Elijah, too, flushed, and averted his gaze.

“Oh. Freya. It’s you,” he managed to say, and cleared his throat awkwardly.

Freya chuckled, “oh, please, don’t be embarrassed. It’s the twenty-first century, Elijah. Perfectly normal to walk in on people. Besides, that wasn’t anything embarrassing,” she said with a small laugh. “Nothing beats walking in on Finn with his girlfriend while they weren’t decent at all. That’s what I got for deciding to surprise-visit him,” she said , rolling her eyes.

“Finn has a girlfriend?” she couldn’t help but ask, and Elijah chuckled beside her. “Sorry, just sometimes I think your other brother’s a ghost. Or, a monk.”

Freya snorted, “definitely not a monk. Trust me,” she said, and Hayley couldn’t help but laugh. And, Elijah joined in, too. And then, the three of them were laughing hard, and Hayley clutched at her insides as she laughed. Finally, she managed to get a grip of herself as did the two Mikaelsons. Freya cleared her throat, “well, I should go. I have a shift. Thanks for the makeup, Hales, you’re a lifesaver,” she told her, and Hayley went over to hug her.

“No problem, Freya. No problem,” she told her as they exchanged cheek kisses.

Then, Freya turned to Elijah, and reached for a hug he returned. “I really am sorry, brother,” she told him, sniffling slightly.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. And, I’m sorry, too,” he told her, hugging her tightly.

“I know,” Freya said, pulling away, and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Elijah returned the gesture, and then the siblings pulled away fully. “Thanks again,” she said as Elijah led her to the door. They exchanged another round of goodbyes before the eldest Mikaelson left. Once Freya had left, an awkward silence descended between them, and Hayley couldn’t help but ask herself, _what next?_ The answer came in the form of Elijah coming down the stairs – Hayley hadn’t even noticed him go upstairs – holding a box. No, not just any box. The box that had been on the coffee table the night before. The memory box of Jonathan’s things.

“Oh,” she muttered, not sure what to say as she walked hesitantly towards him. “Elijah.”

His eyes were filled with tears when he looked up at the sound of her voice, and he met her gaze, and in his dark brown eyes Hayley saw pain, and grief, and loss. It was gut wrenching. He took in a deep, but shaky breath, and his lip quivered as he spoke, “it’s okay. I- I want to do this. I trust you,” he told her, his voice trembling with emotion.

Hayley’s shoulders slumped, and her expression softened as she stood a few inches away from him, “okay. If that’s what you want,” she told him softly. And then, she took the box in her own hands, but Elijah didn’t let go. “Elijah,” she told him more seriously, “let me carry the box. And, this isn’t just about chivalry, but the fact that you shouldn’t put any strain on your right hand.” When he still didn’t let go, she added, “as your doctor, I am ordering you to let me carry the box.” He let go, and followed her as she carried the box to the couch and set it on the coffee table. Together, they sat down, and Elijah took off the lid. The contents of the box ranged mostly from shades of blue to some brighter colored ones. At the top were some photographs, and Elijah took them, and she moved closer. The first photograph was of Elijah’s hand, Hayley would know it anywhere, except the ring finger had a wedding band on it. And, there was tiny baby hand curled around his small finger. Hayley noticed that tears were threatening to spill from his eyes and she reached, resting one hand on his arm for comfort and brushed her fingers over the photograph with her other hand. Neither of them said anything as Elijah took another shaky breath and moved onto the next photo. This one was a closeup of newborn Jonathan in Elijah’s arms, Elijah’s left hand hiding part of him, but Hayley could still see a pair of tiny, but beautiful eyes, what little hair he still had a little curly, and that adorable baby pout. And, again, the baby had his tiny hand curled around his father’s finger, this time the index one. Hayley sniffled, and wiped her eyes hastily, and she noticed as a tear slid down Elijah’s cheek, spilling onto the photo.

“He was so cute,” she whispered softly.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, choking back a sob. Then, he flipped to the next one. This one was another one of Jonathan in Elijah’s arms, but this time you could see both of them, Elijah cradling the baby close to his face, his cheek resting against his son’s face. Hayley felt tears prickle at her eyes, but she blinked them back. The next photograph was of slightly older Jonathan, though he didn’t look like he was more than a year old.

“How old was he here?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, and she sniffled a little.

“About nine or ten months,” he told her, his voice shaking with emotion. Elijah was holding nine-month-old Jonathan in his arms, hoisting him up, and Jonathan was laughing in that adorable childlike way, and Elijah himself was laughing, too. This was a different Elijah, unburdened by his grief. He looked so happy. She flashed him a tearful smile, and squeezed his arm lightly. Next was a photo of baby Jonathan next to Elijah, both of them asleep, Elijah’s arms wrapped protectively around his son, his face buried in Jonathan’s hair, his nose pressed against the back of the infant’s head. More tears spilled over Elijah’s cheeks, and he let out a quiet cry, but flipped to the next one. This was of a slightly older Jonathan, probably between 1 and 2 years. He was perched on Elijah’s shoulders, laughing, his expression one of pure delight. Elijah was smiling, too.

“His dinosaur phase started around this time, and lasted until…” he trailed off, but Hayley knew what he meant. [Jonathan was wearing a dinosaur-themed t-shirt and cap in the photograph]. Elijah flipped through the next few photographs. Him and Jonathan at the zoo. Jonathan riding a donkey, Elijah holding him from one side. The two of them at the aquarium. Playing with a soccer ball. Elijah reading to Jonathan. The two of them at the beach. It was perplexing that Elijah had no photo with Katherine as well, but Hayley didn’t really mind. There were photos of Jonathan by himself, probably taken to mark milestones. At 1, at 2, at 3, and lastly at 4. There were a few with the Mikaelsons, too, taken with a polaroid camera. “Rebekah loved the polaroid camera. Brought it to most family gatherings,” he explained. Finally, they reached the last photograph from the pile. It was another one of Jonathan, though this time he seemed to be about four years old, on Elijah’s shoulders, holding onto Elijah’s hair, laughing with glee, a carefree expression on his face, and Elijah’s head was tilted up so he was looking at his son and smiling happily. Hayley shut her eyes briefly, and tears streamed down her face, but she wiped them away. When she looked over at Elijah, he had tears streaming down his face, and her heart broke.

“Oh, Elijah…” she muttered, and moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, and sniffled.

“I just-” he cut himself off, choking on a sob, “I just miss him so much. I just miss him,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion.

“I know,” she whispered as she rubbed his arm gently. “I know.”

Elijah put the pile of photos on the coffee table and moved to the next things in the box which was a blue baby onesie and small socks, a pair of baby booties, a blue knitted hat. “He, uh,” he started, and his voice shook, “he wore this when we brought him home from the hospital.”

She sniffled, “these are really cute,” she told him softly. She glanced over at the coffee table where the framed photograph from the night before lay. It was the one of Elijah holding newborn Jonathan, and Jonathan was wearing that same knitted hat, though his clothes were covered by the blue blanket. The blue blanket was the next thing Elijah pulled out of the box, and Hayley could see that he was barely holding it in. She just looked at him sadly, her own eyes filled with tears. She reached into the box, and gingerly pulled out a set of pajamas, dark blue with dinosaurs on them. Elijah sniffled upon seeing them.

“Those were his favorites,” he let out a teary half-chuckle. “Sometimes, we couldn’t get him out of them to wash them,” he half-chuckled, half-sobbed. She smiled.

“Yeah, I can relate,” she muttered, giving him a soft smile. Still holding the blanket in his lap, Elijah reached into the box once more, and pulled out a green, stuffed toy dinosaur with soft spikes.

“I, uh, I bought this for him on a work trip to L.A. He loved him, named him Fuddlewuddle,” he let out another teary chuckle, and Hayley chuckled, too.

“That’s an interesting name,” she muttered, and Elijah smiled tearfully.

“Yeah…” he trailed off. “He used to take him with him everywhere,” he said weakly. “Except one time he forgot him at home. Katherine’s place. That was the day-” he cut himself off, and choked back a sob, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat. She knew what he meant. “The day he died,” he finally said, and that was it. He let out a heart wrenching sob as tears streamed down his face, and he put his face his hands. His breathing was ragged as he gasped for air, like he couldn’t breathe. When he cried, there was a rawness to it, the pain still an open wound. He clutched the blue blanket and the toy dinosaur in his hands, and his whole body shook, wracked by sobs. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief and pain, then overcome by the wave of his emotions, he broke down completely, all his defenses washed away by his tears. Hayley rested one hand on his back and rubbed it gently, but hesitated to do more. _Would he let her?_ Finally, she made her decision, and reached for him, wrapping her arms around him, pressing him to her, and Elijah buried his face in the crook of her neck. She felt tears on her skin, but she didn’t care and just continued to hold him. Then, he turned a little, still holding the blanket and dinosaur toy in one hand, but clung to her with his other one as he let out another sob. And, another. And, another. And, all Hayley could do was hold him, tears falling from her own eyes. Finally, after a long while, his sobs subsided and he let out a quiet whimper. When he finally pulled away to face her, his expression was one of grief, loss and devastation, his cheeks tearstained. Hayley reached to wipe the tears from her own eyes, and her heart broke completely at the sight, at the pain he was clearly in. But, she still reached to cup his cheeks, wiping his tears away gently.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she whispered sadly. “But, I’m right here. You’re not alone,” she told him. “I know that doesn’t bring him back. I know you miss him. But, please know that you are not alone,” she whispered hoarsely.

He nodded slowly, “okay,” he muttered. And then, she leaned forward and pressed her own lips to his forehead. She was about to hug him again when the doorbell rang, and they pulled apart, standing up slowly.

“I should, uh, I should go see who it is,” she told him.

“Yeah, I’ll go freshen up a bit,” he told her, pressing a quick kiss to her temple as he passed by her before going upstairs. Hayley made her way to the door and swung it open. And, found none other than Klaus Mikaelson on the other side.

“Hello, love,” he said, smirking slightly.


	22. Rain Came Pouring Down When I Was Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah's conversations with Klaus and Rebekah reveal some harsh truths. When Elijah goes to talk to Hope he comes to a heartbreaking realization.

“Klaus,” she said drily. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Klaus did not seem bothered at all. “Well, for the record, this is my brother’s place, isn’t it?” he asked, and gestured for her to let him in. “Well, will you let me in, love?”

“Um, yeah,” she sighed, a bit reluctantly, but moved aside to let him enter, and led him towards the kitchen and living room area.

“Well, then, I decided to pay my brother a visit. I was hoping to talk to him,” Klaus explained as he took off his jacket, dropping it on the hook by the door.

“Oh, yeah, sure. He’ll be right down,” she told him as she wiped her face. She was aware that she looked like she’d cried. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, we were just having a moment. I’m fine,” she told him as she leaned against the kitchen island. 

“Is Elijah okay?” he asked her, concern etched on his face.

Hayley sighed heavily, “I don’t know… he’s hanging in there,” she shrugged. She opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by Elijah coming down from the loft.

“Niklaus. What are you doing here?” Elijah said by way of greeting as he came to stand beside her, and she leaned into him.

“Well,” Klaus shrugged, but looked straight at Elijah, “I thought I might drop by. Check in on my beloved brother. How are you?”

Elijah sighed, “better than yesterday, I have to admit,” he said.

“How’s your hand? I recall you being good at punching,” he remarked, smirking slightly. Elijah rolled his eyes, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort.

“Well, my aim was a tad impaired,” Elijah replied sarcastically.

“I’ll say,” Klaus muttered.

Hayley cleared her throat, “well, since your brother is here to keep you company,” she started, but Elijah cut her off.

“You mean to babysit me,” he grumbled, annoyed. Hayley rolled her eyes. 

“Elijah,” she drawled, turning to him, and giving him a pointed look. “You know this is only because I care about you,” she said, lifting her hand to cup his cheek, rubbing it gently.

Elijah sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat, “fine. It would be rude to kick him out,” he muttered snarkily. Hayley chuckled.

“Hey, I’m standing right here!” Klaus exclaimed, though he didn’t sound mad, just slightly annoyed. Hayley pulled away from Elijah, and turned to the father of her child.

“We’re well aware, Klaus,” she told him, rolling her eyes. “Well, like I was saying, while you two boys hang out and spend some quality brotherly time, I’m gonna go to my place to grab a few of Hope’s things, and I’ll come back later?” she said, though the last part sounded more like a question, and she looked over at her boyfriend with a questioning look on her face.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Call me when you’re done,” he told her. They exchanged a chaste kiss, and Klaus made annoying gagging sounds in the background before Hayley pulled away and walked upstairs to Elijah’s bedroom to fix her makeup.

“Could you two be possibly any more sickeningly sweet?” She heard Klaus ask rhetorically, and rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Niklaus,” Elijah snapped, annoyed, though it wasn’t harsh. She got ready quickly, and grabbed her purse, jogging back downstairs. As she passed by the two men, she stopped in front of Elijah, and snaked one arm around his neck, pressing her lips to his. He responded in kind, resting his uninjured arm on her hip. The kiss was soft and comforting, and their tongues tangled loosely for a few seconds before Hayley pulled away.

Her lips curved into a smile, “be nice and I’ll see you later. I-” she cut herself off realizing what she was about to say. _I love you_. Now was definitely not the time for her to declare her feelings to him with Klaus standing only a few feet away, so instead she said a simple, “-bye.”

“Goodbye,” he told her simply, and tilted his head to press a quick kiss to her forehead, and she immediately relaxed, her eyes fluttering closed. He pulled away quickly, and she opened her eyes, and flashed him a smile. He smiled back weakly in return. And, then she left.

* * *

After Hayley left, Elijah turned to face his brother once more, the atmosphere once more becoming awkward.

“So, Hayley Marshall answered the door wearing the clothes she was wearing yesterday,” Niklaus remarked, smirking slightly, amused. “Care to explain that, brother?”

“Not particularly,” he quipped as he looked down sadly.

“Oh,” his brother sounded disappointed. “I would have thought I’d find her wearing one of your expensive shirts,” he added with a shrug.

“Well, I’m glad my pain causes you amusement. I do apologize, I’ll let Hayley know of your thoughts on the matter,” he retorted, rolling his eyes, not at all amused by his brother’s antics.

Niklaus sighed, rolling his eyes, “your pain does not amuse me, Elijah,” he told him, flashing him a sad smile.

“I know,” he sighed. “And, I know that your particular brand of sass is just the way you are,” he added. He really didn’t hold it against his brother. That was just how Niklaus was. “I’m sure Camille finds it charming,” he added teasingly.

Niklaus scoffed, “yeah, right. Mostly just irritates her,” he said in amusement. “But, that’s not why I’m here, brother, and you know that,” he added, giving him a pointed look.

Elijah groaned, “I’m well aware of your intentions, Niklaus. So, out with it. Go ahead and lecture me,” he said rolling his eyes. He knew this was bound to happen. His siblings might have even coordinated it. But, that didn’t mean he would like it.

“Well, I’m not here to lecture you, Elijah,” Klaus told him. “On the contrary, I’m here to listen to you. So, have at it, brother. Yell, scream, cry if need be. Hell, you could even punch me, I’d let you, though it wouldn’t do you any good to break another hand,” he told him, smirking in amusement. “The point is, it was made quite obvious by your screaming match with our dear sister that you are keeping quite a lot in. And, as my lovely girlfriend constantly reminds me, keeping things in doesn’t end well,” he said, giving him a sympathetic look. “Look, we all know I am not the most emotionally intelligent one, but I do have ears, you know,” he said and Elijah couldn’t help but snort.

“I’m so glad your anatomy is still intact, brother,” he remarked drily. Klaus flashed him a glare, though Elijah knew he wasn’t actually mad.

“Oh, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself by insulting me to my face. Here I decided to visit my grieving brother to offer him some comfort, and all I get is insults thrown at me every second,” Klaus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Both of them sobered up then. “The point is, brother, I am willing to listen. I may not be the best at giving advice, but I can listen if you want to talk,” he told him firmly, though his tone was gentle and kind like he was speaking to a child.

Elijah sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping in defeat, “fine, I’ll bite. So, what would you like to drink? I can offer water, tea or coffee,” he said, going over to the kitchen counter to make himself some tea.

“Well, I know what I could use for this particular conversation, but that wouldn’t end well. So, let’s have some tea, shall we?” he suggested.

“Green or black tea?” he asked as he pulled out the teapot, but his hand cramped and he nearly dropped it.

“Let me help you, you poor cripple,” his brother said, coming to his side and grabbing the teapot himself. Elijah glared at him, but his brother merely grinned, amused. He went to fill the kettle with water, but that proved difficult, too, and he hissed in pain and annoyance. “Elijah, why don’t you sit down and I’ll do it, alright?”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, pursing his lips. Klaus gave him a look, clearly knowing he was quite the opposite.

“You broke your hand punching someone. Just let me make the bloody tea, Elijah, before you break your expensive china,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes. Elijah sighed in defeat, and went back to sit at the kitchen island, letting his brother deal with the tea. “So, green or black?”

“You’re the guest, I don’t mind,” he said as he flexed the fingers of his injured hand. He knew very well how important light exercising was with his kind of injury.

“So,” Klaus began a little awkwardly, “Hayley Marshall spent the night, didn’t she?” he asked, and Elijah had to fight the urge to face palm.

“Really, Niklaus?” he snapped, flashing him an annoyed look. “Why do you care so much? Yes, Hayley spent the night. But, no, we did not have sex. Get your mind out of the gutter, brother,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I just- I needed her. So, she stayed,” he admitted, his expression softening. Niklaus flashed him a sympathetic look. “And, if she hadn’t come over I probably would be drunk right about now,” he added. Klaus just nodded.

“Well, after that screaming match with Rebekah, I’m not that surprised you felt like a drink,” his brother remarked, and Elijah froze slightly at the mention of their sister. Niklaus seemed adamant to talk about Rebekah, and Elijah knew why, but he didn’t particularly want to. “Elijah,” he drawled, looking carefully at him. Elijah glanced at him from the corner of his eye, just as the kettle beeped, signaling that the water had boiled. Klaus stood up and poured the hot water into the pot before putting the lid on it. Then, he returned to his seat, and looked over at him, his expression softening, “you know, in her own overbearing way, I think that’s how Rebekah showed that she didn’t actually give up on you,” he said.

Elijah sighed, his eyes drifting to the ceiling before he looked down. Then, he turned to his brother, “how exactly is that?” he asked, a slight inflection in his voice, the control he held over his emotions slipping. “She quite literally told me she gave up on me, and that it was somehow my fault!” he snapped. His lower lip quivered, and he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. “I- I needed her. I needed you,” he finally said after a while. “But, you all gave up on me and decided that I wasn’t worth fighting for,” he admitted, choking back a sob. But, he couldn’t help himself. Because all this time it wasn’t just the pain of losing Jonathan that hurt him, but his family, too.

His brother shook his head vehemently, “no, Elijah, no,” he said, his own eyes filled with tears. “That isn’t true,” he told him, still shaking his head. “But, I am sorry that that is what you felt like. For the pain that caused you… for that I am truly sorry,” he told him. “But, do not think for a second that we didn’t love you, or that we didn’t think you were worth fighting for. You are our brother. And, as much as we’re all about drama, and as much as we tend to be a pain in your arse, we really do love you,” he told him, but Elijah just set his jaw. “Look, there is- there is some truth to what Rebekah said, but it wasn’t entirely true. I can’t pretend to know what she was feeling at the time, but I can tell you that she wasn’t being entirely truthful. The only thing we gave up on was thinking we could help you. But, that doesn’t mean we fully gave up. Rebekah certainly didn’t. The kid gloves attitude and constant worrying you would fall off the wagon? That wasn’t us just having low expectations. That was us trying to help you. We couldn’t help you with Jonathan, or so we thought, but we believed we could help you stay sober. So, we did. And, perhaps it was misguided, but we tried our best,” Niklaus admitted. Elijah closed his eyes briefly, and felt a tear slide down his cheek, and he reached to wipe it away quickly. When he opened his eyes, he looked at his brother once again.

“Then why-” he paused, his voice trembling, “why did you pretend like it never happened? Like he didn’t matter? Meanwhile I was going through hell…” he trailed off, and bit back a sob.

Niklaus regarded him with an expression that was a mixture between sadness and hurt, “another possibly stupid attempt at trying to help you. Look, when we thought that we couldn’t help you cope with your loss, we- I, and I think our other siblings as well, we thought that it would be better, easier, if we put on a brave face. That it might make things easier for you, that it might ensure that you don’t fall off the wagon,” he said sadly.

“Well, I’ve learned that there is no insurance for that,” Elijah told him with a bitter half-chuckle. “And, all my pretending to be fine really only ended up with me falling off the wagon. I understand that you were trying to help me, but you must understand-” he cut himself off, closing his eyes once again before opening them and looking at his brother, “you must understand how much that hurt me. Because I felt like I was so alone, like none of you felt even an ounce of what I felt, like none of you even cared enough to understand my pain. I- it feels like a piece of you is missing, like you hurt everywhere… it hurts to breathe sometimes-” he cut himself off again, choking back a sob. At one point, Niklaus had to stood up and poured the tea into two cups and brought them over. “It’s like an all-consuming emptiness, and I just- it hurts like hell, Niklaus. I feel like- I feel like I’m drowning in this never-ending pain,” he admitted, his voice shaking. Tears fell down his cheeks, and this time he let them. There was no point in fighting them. Niklaus just stood by him, his expression sad.

“I am so sorry, brother. Please forgive me for causing you pain, for making things worse. We were only trying to help, albeit we weren’t very smart about it. But, we didn’t really know what to do, how to act because you’ve always been this pillar of strength, the one always there for us, taking care of us when Mother and Father were too busy for that. And, seeing you like that… seeing you in pain,” he paused, “we just didn’t know what to do. And, I am truly sorry for hurting you.”

“I forgive you,” he said, and stood up shakily. And then, he reached for his brother, wrapping his arms around him. Niklaus returned the embrace, holding him tightly and pounding him lightly on the back, and Elijah finally let the tears fall from his eyes and he sniffled. They stayed like for a few more minutes before finally pulling away. Elijah wiped away his tears, and he noticed Niklaus did, too.

“You know, I’ve only just realized what that kind of loss feels like, and I know I don’t fully understand it because Hope made it. But, I do have an idea, and Elijah… you are a strong man for doing this. Because I don’t think I could be standing right now if I were you,” he told him. Elijah just nodded sadly.

“Like I said before, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’m glad neither you nor Hayley have to go through this,” he told him. Niklaus just nodded, and the two of them finally took a sip of their tea.

“Will you talk to Rebekah?” Niklaus asked once he was finished.

Elijah sighed, “I don’t really have a choice. As much as I don’t- as much as it would hurt to do it. She is my sister, after all,” he said sadly.

“That she is. A bit of a brat sometimes, but she is our sister. And, she does care,” Niklaus said, nodding in agreement. Having finished his tea, Elijah stood up to grab his phone and found a missed call and a text from Hayley informing him she was done and on her way to his place. He typed back a reply: _Sounds good, we’re done here. Can you drop me off to a meeting, then go to the hospital? Or, do you have something else?_ Her reply came quickly: _Sure I can. And, I don’t have anything else to do today. While you’re at your meeting, I’ll go hang around at the hospital. I’ll see you soon, k? xx_ He smiled fondly at her message and typed back a simple _okay_ before pocketing his phone.

“Is Hayley coming?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Good. She is good for you, Elijah,” he said with a small smile. Elijah just swallowed thickly and nodded, not wanting to open that particular can of worms right now.

“Niklaus, there is one thing I must ask your forgiveness for. I am sorry for the things I said to you while Rebekah and I were arguing. I was drunk and not myself. And, I am sorry for relapsing,” he said, his voice filled with guilt and regret.

“You are forgiven, Elijah. Relapse is part of recovery,” he told him, his lips forming a sympathetic smile. Elijah just nodded glumly. But, Klaus reached for him and pulled him into a hug that Elijah returned, and he let his brother hold him for another moment as he let his guard down for just a moment.

“Thank you brother,” he muttered, his voice edgy with emotion.

“What are brothers for?” Niklaus quipped, and tightened his grip. Once he collected himself, he pulled away and they exchanged a tense smile before both of them left the apartment since Hayley texted him she was downstairs.

* * *

Hayley flashed him a smile when he entered the car after the meeting, but Elijah couldn’t quite return it. His shoulders slumped as soon as he was safely inside her car and he slammed the door shut behind him.

“That bad?” she asked him as she reversed out of the parking lot. It had started to rain at some point, which wasn’t unusual for New Orleans, but not an everyday occurrence either especially since it had been sunny that morning. Since he spent his formative years in England, Elijah had to admit he had grown to love rainy days, though he prefer them in Britain as opposed to New Orleans. In England the rain was a steady occurrence, the sky ranging from blue-grey to murky grey, but the rain was constant, falling down rhythmically. Here, a rainy day meant a humid day, and since it usually rained during the summer it was also hot, but Elijah had to admit the pitter patter of the rain had its charms, even in the swamps of Louisiana.

“Well, there’s nothing like hitting rock bottom,” he told her, and tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. Hayley just flashed him a comforting smile. “But, I suppose it helped. I don’t know. Maybe a little,” he admitted. He reached for her hand resting on the console, and laced their fingers together before bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand. Hayley glanced over at him from the corner of her eye and her lips curved into a soft smile. “I think I prefer you, though,” he added as he glanced out the window.

“So, where to?” she asked him. “We can go grab a bite to eat maybe if you’re hungry?” she suggested. “Elijah,” she said his name softly, but with a slight inflection to grab his attention.

“Sorry,” he muttered, and licked his lips. “Actually, if you don’t mind could you drive me to Rebekah’s?”

Hayley’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, “are you sure?”

He nodded, “yeah. Freya and Niklaus came over, I suppose I should just rip the Band-Aid off and talk to Rebekah as well. And, I doubt she would come over to do it,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“Okay,” she said softly, and switched lanes, driving in the direction of the Quarter. Silence descended between them as he stared out the window, watching the rain fall while Hayley seemed to focus on the road. As they continued to drive down the road, the rain trickled down the windows making light pitter patter noises. But, somehow it calmed him providing a rhythm to his spinning thoughts and the blue-grey of the sky was strangely comforting. Finally they arrived at his sister’s, and Hayley parked the car, but left the engine running. “Do you want me to go with you?” she asked him, biting her lip nervously.

“I-” he stopped himself, and sighed heavily. “I do. But, I have to do this by myself, Hayley. We both know that,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Okay. Just know that… whatever happens I’m here for you, okay?” she told him softly, and he met her gaze, his dark brown eyes boring into her hazel ones.

He didn’t answer her in words but instead reached across the space between them and cupped her cheeks, then captured her lips with his own. She wound her own arms around his neck in response, and deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his. Their tongues tangled loosely together, and Elijah tried to convey everything he felt but couldn’t say through this kiss. Gratitude, love, adoration, his lips becoming urging and desperate against hers, but she responded in kind, her own lips moving in sync with his. When air finally became a necessity, they both pulled away, a little reluctantly, both of them panting and gasping for air, and slowly his eyes fluttered open to meet her gaze.

“Thank you,” he breathed out against her lips, and her lips curved into a slow smile in response, and she rubbed her nose against his.

“Just remember, you are not alone,” she mumbled breathlessly against his lips, a slight inflection in her voice on the last part. He nodded, and pulled away slightly, but tilted his head to press his lips to her forehead for a quick kiss before fully pulling away and opening the car door.

* * *

Rebekah was thankfully at home when he rang the doorbell, and she also, thankfully, didn’t slam the door in his face. But, she did look a bit surprised to see him in the middle of the afternoon, no less. She was wearing sweatpants and a shirt with a knitted cardigan on top, her wavy blond hair thrown into a messy bun, but she was wearing makeup. Elijah guessed that from the looks of her appearance she’d gone to work earlier, but had come home for whatever reason.

“Oh. It’s you,” she said by way of greeting, but stepped back, allowing him to enter.

“Hello, Rebekah,” he said, and entered, taking off his slightly wet jacket. “Hope I’m not intruding or anything,” he added, and she shook her head. “No more work today?”

She shrugged, “went in the morning. But, I had an appointment earlier and decided to just stay home for the rest of the day. I might go to the hospital later, though,” she explained as she led him towards her kitchen. There was a bottle of wine on the counter and a glass, and Elijah cleared his throat awkwardly. “Oh, sorry,” she muttered apologetically and went to put them away.

“It’s fine,” he sighed. “I just- I’m barely even a day sober, so…” he trailed off, the atmosphere tense and awkward.

“Right. Nik mentioned you went to a meeting,” she said.

“You’ve spoken to Niklaus?” he wondered, looking up briefly from his staring contest with the floor.

“Um, yeah. I was, uh, I wasn’t- I wasn’t sure whether to come and see you, so…” she trailed off.

“Well, then it’s a good thing I came by,” he remarked.

“Why did you decide to come over?” she wondered curiously. “I mean, you seemed to want nothing to do with me last night,” she said in an accusing tone, though he could hear her the hurt in her voice.

He sighed, his shoulders dropping in defeat, but finally looked up to meet his sister’s gaze. “Rebekah,” he started carefully, “you must understand… I- I wasn’t myself last night. I was completely wasted, and I said some things I regret now. And, I am sorry about that,” he told her. Rebekah sighed heavily, and sniffled slightly.

“I forgive you. I knew you were drunk, and I picked a fight anyway. So, I’m sorry about that,” she told him sincerely.

He nodded, “it’s okay.”

“You hungry? Thirsty?”

“I could use some decent coffee. Coffee at AA meetings is even worse than hospital coffee,” he told her, and she let out a half-chuckle, but nodded and started the coffee machine.

“So,” Rebekah drawled, and sighed heavily, “what exactly brings you hear, brother?” she asked, scowling slightly, though he could see her eyes were filled with tears.

“Well, I thought we should talk,” he said, leaning against the counter.

Rebekah scoffed, crossing her arms, “oh, you thought we should talk?” she bit back, irritation obvious in her voice. “Of course. Classic Elijah. It was running off to the army because you thought running away was a good idea, then it was coming back like nothing had ever happened because you thought it was time, and now it’s talking because you think that’s what should happen,” she remarked drily, and despite her calm tone, there was an inflection in her tone that betrayed her hurt and anger.

Elijah flinched, “well, forgive me for being a little selfish for once, Rebekah!” he snapped, unable to keep his calm. Rebekah pursed her lips. “My entire life has been about taking care of you, of Niklaus…” he trailed off, and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “So, excuse me if for once I thought of myself!” he snapped, his own voice trembling with hurt despite the anger he was feeling. “It’s not like any of you gave much of a damn about me after my son died, Rebekah, my _son_ ,” he said, his voice breaking on the word ‘son’, “so, I did what I thought was best, I coped with my loss the way I saw fit… I dealt with it the only way I saw how!” Rebekah shuddered slightly at his harsh tone. He lowered his voice, “I was trying to stay sober, Rebekah,” he admitted. “I was- I was drowning, and I knew the easy way out was the bottle, but I didn’t want that anymore. So, I left and joined the army because that was the only way I knew I would stay away from the bottle. And, I am sorry if that caused you pain, Rebekah, if you felt abandoned. But, I was so tired of giving myself to you, to Niklaus, to Katerina… I had nothing more to give,” he choked back a sob.

“Elijah, I-” she started, but he didn’t let her. She had wanted him to open up so badly she resorted to a screaming match, he was going to do just that.

“No, let me finish,” he hissed, more harshly than he’d intended. “I lost my son, Rebekah, my child and I- my family, the family I have always taken care of, protected, cherished,” he paused and took a deep, ragged breath, “I mean, the amount of times I stepped into the role of our parents whenever they decided they had something better to do than to be our parents, and I thought that if I ever needed you, you would show the same support-” he said, his voice low and pained, and Rebekah finally managed to cut in.

“We were there for you, Elijah,” she told him. “But, you didn’t want us to be. I mean, even after you came back from the army, you’ve been keeping us at arm’s length. You say you wanted us to be there for you, but how could we be when you pushed us away?” she demanded, her voice thick with emotion, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “And, we were hurting, too. We lost him, too. We loved him, too. You of all people should have known that, but you decided that you were alone in this,” she continued, her voice filled with emotion, and a tear spilled down her cheek, but she wiped it away hastily. She set two cups of coffee on the counter, and he hadn’t even noticed she’d made it.

He shook his head, tears threatening to fall from his own eyes, and his voice trembled with emotion as he spoke, “I… you gave up, Rebekah. You gave up on me. I needed you… all of you, but you gave up on me, so I coped the only way I knew how… well, the only other way I knew how that didn’t involve a bottle of whiskey,” he admitted, choking back a sob, and he reached for the edge of the kitchen island, steadying himself.

Rebekah closed her eyes briefly, and more tears fell down her cheeks. For a moment, neither of them said anything before his sister finally opened her eyes and wiped away the tears, then looked up to meet his gaze. “Damn it, Elijah” she sighed, shaking her head. “I didn't give up because I didn't think you were worth fighting for. You’re my brother, of course you’re worth it. I gave up because I didn't know how to fight,” she confessed, and her voice finally broke into a sob. Elijah froze and stared at her. Part of him wanted to reach for her, but the other part of him felt sucker punched, so he stayed rooted to his spot. Taking a shaky breath, Rebekah continued, “you were always the one fighting for us, and I didn't know how to be on the other end. So, I gave up, because I didn't see how me drowning along with you was going to help you.” Her voice softened, “I'm sorry if that's not what you needed, but it's not like you ever told anyone how to help you,” she told him and her words finally sunk in and he felt his knees shake as the realization hit him. He shut his eyes as tears spilled down his cheeks and he stifled a sob. Then, he felt arms around him, his sister’s arms, hugging him tightly. At first, he didn’t move, didn’t return the hug. But, then he did, wrapping his own arms around her, clinging desperately to her as if he was a child and she was the parent. And then, he finally let out a sob, filled with grief and pain, and tears streamed down his cheeks. And, the walls that he had been keeping up like a fortress, protecting himself and his family, finally came tumbling down as Rebekah held him tightly. But, she was crying, too, her sobs a little less hysterical, just heartbroken, and he held her too. They were both holding onto each other, for once not alone in their grief.

Elijah wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but eventually he pulled away and so did she.

“I am so sorry, Rebekah,” he said brokenly. “I just- I’m so sorry… please forgive me,” he said in a broken, pleading voice.

“Of course I forgive you, Elijah. You’re my brother. Will you forgive me, too?”

“Of course,” he told her. He wiped away his tears, and she did as well.

“I probably look like a mess,” she said, letting out a tearful chuckle.

Elijah glanced at his phone, “I should, uh, I should go. Hayley had some errands to run, but she’s done now, so…” he trailed off.

“Of course. You can use the bathroom if to freshen up if you need,” she told him, and he nodded.

“Thank you.”

After splashing his face with cold water which only helped slightly, he bid his sister ‘goodbye’ and left the apartment. Hayley was waiting for him, and as soon as the door closed behind him, he reached for her and kissed her, his lips moving against hers, urging and desperate. She returned the kiss, winding her own arms around his neck, her own lips moving with his in sync, their tongues tangling together. Finally, he pulled away, both of them panting heavily, gasping for air.

“You okay?” she muttered against his lips.

He nodded, “better now,” he admitted.

“Good,” she smiled. When they pulled apart and he fastened his seatbelt, she turned to him. “So, where to now?”

“Let’s go to grab something to eat. After that I was wondering if we could go to the hospital,” he said softly.

Hayley furrowed her eyebrows, “why hospital?”

“I need,” he paused and took a shaky breath, “I think I owe an explanation to my niece,” he finally said.

Hayley’s shoulders slumped, and she sighed heavily, “oh. Okay,” she switched lanes, going towards the dinner close to the hospital, and reached across the console to take his hand.

* * *

Hayley led him to Hope’s room, but stopped when they reached the door, and looked up at him nervously.

“You sure about this?” she wondered, looking at him carefully.

He sighed, and reached for her hand, lifting it to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “Not really,” he admitted. “But, we can’t keep giving her the excuse that I’m busy with work and have a lot going on. Especially when she’s a patient in the same hospital where I work. She deserves to know,” he said softly, and she nodded.

“You’re right,” she said. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds as they just stood there, not quite looking at each other. Finally, Hayley looked up and met his gaze, reaching to cup his cheek, and he leaned into her touch instinctively. “You gonna be okay?” she asked him, biting her lip nervously.

He shrugged, “I don’t know,” he told her honestly.

“You want me to come with you?” she suggested as she gazed deeply into his eyes, and Elijah felt as if she was seeing into his soul.

He had to admit, he did, but he also knew he had to do this alone. He shook his head, “as much as I want you to, I need to do this alone,” he said, and briefly glanced down at the photograph he was clutching in his other hand. “I owe her that much,” he added, and Hayley nodded.

“Okay. But, just know that I’m right here, right outside this door. So if you need me…” she trailed off, but he understood.

He answered her not with words, but simply pressed his lips against hers, his hand moving to cup the back of her neck, fingers sinking in her hair as she deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth. His lips moved in sync with hers, their tongues tangled together, and Hayley’s hand drifted to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He, too, pulled her close, his injured hand resting loosely on her lower back. Finally, when air became a necessity, he pulled away reluctantly, and rested his forehead against his.

“I always need you,” he muttered hoarsely against her lips.

Hayley’s lips curled into a slow smile, and she rubbed her nose against his. Then, she pulled away, and stepped back, pushing him in the direction of the door. “Well, go on,” she told him, nudging him gently towards the door.

Taking a deep breath, Elijah reached for the doorknob and twisted it, gently pushing the door open, and entered the room. He found his niece sitting up, coloring, the bunny he’d given her sitting dutifully by her side. He smiled fondly at the sight. She looked up as soon as he entered though, and he shut the door behind him.

“Uncle Elijah!” she exclaimed, her face immediately lighting up, and Elijah’s shoulders slumped as he relaxed. So, she was happy to see him, there was that at least. Though, Elijah wasn’t sure that made him feel any better. But, he wasn’t about to back out now. That, and Hayley was outside that door. And, he doubted she would let him back out now.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said by way of greeting, and stepped closer to her, pulling the chair closer to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” she told him cheerfully, smiling at him. “I’ve missed you,” she added, and Elijah’s heart clenched with guilt.

“I’ve missed you, too, Hope,” he said instead. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he added with a heavy sigh. “I hope you can forgive me.”

Hope furrowed her eyebrows, her expression a mixture of puzzled and thoughtful. And then, she asked, “so, why were you gone, Uncle Elijah? Where were you?”

He took a deep breath, preparing himself, “can I show you something, sweetheart?” he asked her, and she nodded, looking at him with those beautiful blue eyes. And then, he produced the photograph from his hand and lifted it to show it to his niece. It was a little polaroid photograph, taken with the old camera Rebekah always kept around despite the fact that they owned iPhones. But, then, he was the one who preferred the printed photographs, too.

“Who is this?” Hope wondered as she stared at the photograph. [The photograph in question was of him and Jonathan, Jonathan sitting on his shoulders, holding onto his hair and squealing gleefully. He was so happy, so carefree, just smiling at whoever was taking the picture. It had been a nice day, he’d managed to be sober for a while, and Katherine had let him take Jonathan to the old family plantation house outside of New Orleans for a long weekend. They’d flown there]. Elijah’s heart clenched, but he shook himself, pushing the sadness away. “Who is he, Uncle Elijah?” Hope repeated her earlier question, glancing over at him, her blue eyes wide with curiosity.

“Jonathan. His name was Jonathan. My son. I had a son,” he told her sadly, and she glanced between him and his picture thoughtfully.

“Had?” she wondered, her voice small.

“Yeah,” he paused, and gulped thickly, “had.”

“Oh,” Hope muttered, her own expression becoming sad as it dawned on her just what he meant. “Did he die?”

“Yeah…” he trailed off, and felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them away, “he died.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, and reached to take his uninjured hand, and squeezed it gently. “How did he die?”

Elijah sighed heavily and shut his eyes briefly before opening them, “he got into an accident. His mom was picking him up from school and they were hit by a car,” he told her, deciding to settle for the simple truth.

Hope looked down sadly, “oh,” she muttered. “That’s like what happened to me and Aiden. I remember it now,” she told him. “But, Aiden and I are okay,” she added glumly.

“Yeah,” he paused, “sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes people make it, and other times they don’t. You are a very lucky and very strong girl, Hope because you made it. So, did Aiden,” he told her, smiling tensely.

“Is that why you didn’t come to visit? Because it reminded you of what happened to Jonathan?” she asked him in that blunt, but sweet children’s way.

He bowed his head, ashamed before looking up once more, “yeah…” he trailed off, and took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m sorry about that, sweetie. I was just- it was just hard for me. It brought up a lot of bad memories,” he told her. “But, I am really happy you are okay,” he added as a tear slid down his cheek, but he wiped it away hastily. She just beamed at him.

“I’m really sorry about Jonathan, Uncle Elijah,” she said gently, squeezing his hand once more. “How old was he?”

“He was four. And, he would be right about your age now,” he replied sadly.

“He looks a lot like you,” she said, smiling a little, and Elijah couldn’t help but smile at her effortless change of subject. “And, Henrik.”

Elijah froze, and stared at his niece in shock, his mouth half-open in shock. “Wh- what do you mean?”

Hope shrugged and looked at him innocently, “just that Jonathan looks a lot like you and Henrik. Cause you and Henrik look a lot alike,” she explained, smiling softly. Elijah swallowed thickly as he considered it. [She was right, after all. Of all his siblings, him, Henrik, Kol and Finn all shared the darker features of brown eyes and brown hair. Except, while there were some differences with Kol and Finn, Henrik really did look like him the most. And, so did Jonathan. And, by extension, Jonathan looked like Henrik]. Elijah’s shoulders slumped and he let out a heavy sigh as realization finally dawned on him. Henrik was just another painful reminder of what he had lost. And, it occurred to him that he had been pulling away from his little brother, more than from the rest of his siblings and this was why. Sure, he’d been keeping them all at arms’ length because he was scared to lose one of them, scared that the rug would get pulled out from under him. But, with Henrik it was more than that. With Henrik, it was also that Henrik just reminded him so much of Jonathan, of what he had lost, of what Jonathan would never become. But, it wasn’t fair on his little brother. And, he would fix it somehow, he had to.

Elijah sighed, “oh… I suppose you are right,” he muttered and they fell into comfortable silence as Hope continued to stare at the photo while Elijah thought back to the last times he’d seen his little brother.

After a while, Hope spoke, breaking the silence, “Uncle Elijah?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Do you miss him? Jonathan?” she wondered, and Elijah’s heart broke and he had to brace himself on the edge of the bed as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said weakly, and cleared his throat, “yeah… I miss him,” he said, his voice shaking, “every day,” he admitted sniffling slightly.

“Oh,” she muttered, and he felt her move, a little awkwardly, shuffling closer, and she wrapped her small arms around him, burrowing into his side. He hugged her back, rubbing her back gently, and the two of them stayed like that. “I’m really sorry,” she mumbled again into his shirt. And then, the door opened, but this time it wasn’t Hayley, but Klaus.

“Oh, I can, uh, I can come back later…” his little brother trailed off nervously as he looked at the two of them.

“No, it’s fine, I was actually about to leave,” he said, gently disentangling himself from his niece’s embrace. “But, I will come back, Hope,” he said when he saw her pout.

“You promise?” she asked, looking at him with those blue eyes, giving him the puppy look.

Elijah chuckled, “of course. I will come back, I promise. You have my word,” he told her, and she smiled.

“And, your uncle is good about keeping his word,” Niklaus chimed in as he approached the bed.

“But, do you pinkie promise?” Hope asked, holding out her pinkie towards him.

“Sure, why not?” he said, chuckling softly, and he locked his pinkie finger with hers and they shook on it before he pulled away. “Now, you be good Little One, and I will see you later,” he told her, and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to her forehead before he turned around to leave.

“Wait, Uncle Elijah!” she yelled, and he returned to her side. She handed him back the photograph, and he nodded, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, words failing him. As he passed by his brother, he clapped the younger man on the back firmly before he left, the two of them exchanging a quick nod. And then, he was out of the room, and he found Hayley leaning against the wall.

She stood up as soon as she saw him, and they reached for each other at once. Elijah felt Hayley’s arms around him, and he buried his face in her hair as he wrapped his own arms around her.

“Elijah,” she muttered softly as she pressed herself to him. “You okay?”

“I- I just-” he cut himself off, choking on a sob. “I just miss him so much,” he admitted, his voice breaking. Hayley tightened her grip on him and held him, murmuring words of comfort into his ear as she rubbed his back gently while he took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Finally, he managed to regain control over himself, and he took yet another deep, shuddering breath before he finally pulled away.

“You okay?”

“Better now that I’m with you,” he told her, his lips curling into a soft smile. Hayley smiled back, and lifted her hand to cup his cheek.

“You know I’m always here for you,” she said as she caressed his jaw. “You are not alone, Elijah. I’m here. And, I’m not going anywhere,” she told him firmly. He nodded. And then, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. He responded in kind as he snaked his arms around her body, resting them on her back, holding her gently. The kiss was slow and soft, full of comfort and reassurance, and Hayley’s lips were warm against his, moving gently as she wound her arms around his neck, hands cupping the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair. She tasted of coffee and peppermint, comforting and refreshing all at once, and her tongue tangled loosely with his. And, as she kissed him the world fell away. Elijah didn’t care. Finally, when air became a necessity, they pulled apart, but Elijah still rested his forehead against hers, and Hayley rubbed her nose against his gently, her lips forming a soft smile.

“I need you,” he muttered against her lips, and she smiled before pulling away a little so she could look at him properly and cup his cheek gently.

“You have me, Elijah. You have me. You are not alone. I’m not leaving you,” she told him breathlessly, though her tone was firm, determined.

“Thank you,” he whispered back as his gaze drifted behind Hayley to the door of the room occupied by his niece, and their conversation flashed back into his mind.

Hayley noticed the faraway look in his eyes, “what is it?” she asked softly, her palm still cupping his cheek, and he rested his own hand on top of hers before taking it and bringing her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “Elijah?” she prodded, meeting his gaze.

He shook his head, “not here,” he whispered lowly, then dropped her hand.

“Rooftop?” she suggested. He couldn’t help but smile at that. The rooftop had quickly become something like ‘their place’, and sometimes it felt as if the world disappeared whenever they were there. The rooftop was where Hayley had told him part of the truth about Hope, and where he had finally opened up about Katherine and Jonathan. And, where they shared their first kiss. So, with a nod, he took her hand, and the two of them walked to the rooftop.

Unsurprisingly, the rooftop was empty, and Elijah walked to the edge, resting his hand on the railing. Hayley walked over to him, and stood beside him, turning towards him, her expression one of concern.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What is it? Is it Hope?” she asked, and he could hear the worry in her tone.

“No,” he said, a half-smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Hope was… well, she was just very sweet,” he told her, and she smiled. “And, she made me realize something,” he said, and Hayley’s eyes widened with curiosity.

“And, what was that?”

“That I’ve been pulling away from my little brother Henrik,” he finally admitted, but instead of looking surprised, Hayley just nodded.

“Yeah…” she muttered, trailing off. “I wondered about that,” she mused, and it was his turn to be surprised.

“Really? Was it- was it that obvious?”

She shrugged, “well, I noticed it at the dinner. You just seemed so distant, and a little awkward,” she told him. “I, uh, I was gonna ask you, but then things kind of went to hell after that, so…” she trailed off, shrugging.

He nodded, “yeah. I just- I suppose, consciously, part of me knew I was keeping my siblings at arm’s length. I guess I was scared that I would lose them. That the rug would get pulled from under me,” he confessed, and Hayley’s expression softened, and she reached to cup his cheek once more.

“Oh, Elijah,” she said softly, caressing his jaw tenderly, “you can’t live in fear like this. Your siblings love you, and I know how much you love them. You’re family and you rely on each other. You need each other,” she told him gently, and he nodded.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I just- I think I didn’t even realize I was doing it, not until Rebekah pretty much screamed in my face that I was. And, today both Niklaus and Freya pointed that out to me,” he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. “But, with Henrik it’s different,” he said, and licked his lips, “Hope reminded me that Jonathan looked like me. And, that Henrik does, too. So,” he sighed, “that meant that Jonathan looked like Henrik. And, it made me realize that I was pulling away from him, or pushing him away, I don’t know… I was doing that because he reminded me of Jonathan. Of losing him. Of the fact that Jonathan would never grow up,” he finally said, and sniffled as a tear slid down his cheek, and Hayley wiped it away quickly.

“Oh, Elijah,” she murmured. And then, her arms slid around his neck and she hugged him. He wrapped his own arms around her, instinctively, and returned the embrace, burying his face in her hair. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she tucked her chin over his shoulder.

He sniffled, “thank you, Hayley. I-” he cut himself off as he realized what he was about to say. _I love you._ But, he wasn’t going to say it. He was barely one day sober, and after Hayley witnessed him at his worst, he wasn’t sure she would want to hear those three words. But, they were true. He did love her. He had let her in, and somehow she hadn’t run for the hills. On the contrary, she held him as he fell apart, she took his broken pieces and mended them together. But, despite his feelings, he wasn’t going to tell her. Telling her would be selfish, and Elijah did not want to be selfish with her. She deserved better. Better than him, and it still sometimes surprised him that she didn’t leave. Yet. So instead, he mumbled, “thank you,” again against her skin.


	23. Never Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months later, it's Jonathan's birthday and Elijah's barely hanging on. After admitting something to Marcel, Rebekah gets an unpleasant phone call. The Mikaelsons are invited to Rebekah's.

**September 20, 2019 – Three Months Later**

Elijah woke up the morning of Jonathan’s birthday to a flurry of gentle butterfly kisses being peppered all over his back. For a moment, he stayed in that half-asleep, half-awake psychedelic state, his eyes slowly opening only to glance at the bedside clock and find it was just past 0700 September 20th. _September 20_. And, for a moment, for a brief moment it didn’t occur to him what the date meant. For a moment, it was just another day. And then, reality came crashing down on him. Elijah froze as he realized that it was September 20th, Jonathan’s birthday. And, Jonathan had been dead for almost three years. He wasn’t in New York, but in his apartment in New Orleans and it was just Hayley. No, not _just_ Hayley. That didn’t do her justice. She was so much more, meant so much more to him. Since the moment he had met her she had broken down the walls he had enacted around his heard, had warmed her way into his heart, had healed the broken pieces from Katherine’s betrayal, losing Jonathan, had seen him at his most vulnerable and somehow she was still here. Yes, Hayley Marshall meant _more_. Case in point, currently, his girlfriend was curled behind him, practically spooning him and carefully, methodically, sweetly kissing every inch of his back. Her fingers traced the tattoo on his shoulder. _Jonathan Always and Forever_ was written in two rows in simple, cursive lettering. And, then she pressed a tender kiss to that spot, too, and Elijah let out a heavy sigh, his eyes shutting briefly at the sensation.

It was certainly a nice way to wake up despite the fact that today was one of the worst days of the year for him, so he just groaned and buried his head in his pillow, letting Hayley do as she pleased. She made her way up, her arms wrapped around him, one hand resting on his chest to his hair line, then his ear, and her breath fanned him, tickling his skin, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. And then, she pressed her lips to his earlobe, nipping on it lightly before her tongue darted over it teasingly, and he moaned, head slightly dipped back. She pressed another quick peck to his earlobe, then rested her head against his arm, her cheek pressed against his skin. He grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it gently.

“Good morning,” Hayley murmured against his skin, and pressed another kiss to his arm. [It wasn’t really, but he knew what she meant].

“Morning,” he mumbled, though there was a sad edge to his voice. Gently, he pulled her on top of him, and she immediately straddled him, arms winding around his neck as he rested his hands on her hips, absently rubbing circles on her skin, his fingers drifting to her lower back.

“Hi,” she muttered huskily against his lips, and dipped her head slightly to rub her nose against his, her lips stretching into a fond smile.

He couldn’t help the half-smile that tugged at the corners of his lips, “hi,” he breathed out. “This is… a nice way to wake up…” he admitted, “especially today,” he muttered without thinking, but of course Hayley caught that.

“Why especially today?” she asked him bluntly as she trailed her finger along the curve of his shoulder, and rubbed her toe lightly against his sole as their feet tangled together.

He looked away, and blinked back tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. _When had he become such a crier?_ Well, losing his son explained it, but there was something else. Something about Hayley. It was so easy to be vulnerable around her, to show his emotions and break down, and grieve. Especially considering how hard he tried to pretend he was fine around others, putting a wall around himself and keeping everyone out.

He shook his head, “nothing, just- it really is a nice way to wake up,” he told her honestly, though his pained tone betrayed that. And, she knew it.

“But?” Hayley asked, cupping his cheek with one hand, rubbing her thumb along his jaw lightly.

“It’s nothing,” he told her, and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze. Probably because if she looked into his eyes she would know. Maybe not exactly why it was ‘especially today’ but that it had to do with Jonathan.

“Elijah,” she drawled, and flashed him a pointed look. “You can tell me, you know,” she added softly, but when he didn’t say anything, she rolled off him, and instead propped herself up on her elbow as she reached for his hand with her free one and laced their fingers together, and squeezed it lightly.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” he said, repeating a phrase he’d said so many times, at this point it had lost its meaning. Even though he shut his eyes as a tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it away hastily, he could still see the pointed, unimpressed look she gave him, her lips pursed, eyebrows knitted together.

“Elijah,” she said again, this time more firmly. “Look at me,” she said, but he didn’t. She let go of his hand and instead cupped her chin, and tilted his head towards her, forcing him to look at her. He met her gaze, his dark brown eyes gazing deeply into her hazel ones, the green more evident in the morning sunlight. Hayley must have seen something in his eyes because he heard her inhale sharply, and her expression softened, “what did you mean by ‘especially today’?” she asked him. “Tell me, please,” she pleaded, her own voice thick with emotion.

But, he averted his gaze and looked down unable to look at her, and rested his hand on top of her own that was cupping his cheek. And then, he looked away, and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat, “Elijah, please tell me… whatever it is. I’m here for you, you’re not alone. Please, baby,” she said softly, and his stomach fluttered at the nickname she’d taken to calling him by. “Please. I know something is bothering you, I can see it. I like to think I can read you pretty well,” she told him, a little teasing on the last part, and he couldn’t help but let out a half-chuckle. She cupped his cheek once more, and forced him to face her, her thumb rubbing gently against it. “Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out, baby, please,” she added in a pleading tone. His shoulders slumped, and finally he looked at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

He sighed and rested his hand on top of hers, “especially today because today is his birthday. He would turn seven today,” he finally admitted, and a tear slid down his cheek. Hayley wiped it away gently without a word.

“Oh, Elijah,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she wondered as she moved closer to him, nuzzling his cheek lightly.

He shrugged and let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just- I don’t think I realized how hard it would be. I mean… it’s been almost three years, and still…” he trailed off. “And,” he paused, “I think part of me didn’t quite realize it. I mean, there was a moment this morning when the date didn’t mean what it meant. My mind hadn’t realized it yet. And, then it caught up and it was like…” he trailed off, unable to quite form the words. “I think it hit me that I am living without him. That life goes on without him. He would be seven today. He should be in school, learning, and playing sport, and being happy, and a kid, and _living_. But, he’s gone and I- I couldn’t imagine life without him before. It’s still sometimes hard to conceive even though that’s been my life for the past almost three years. But, I am living without him and it feels like a piece of me is missing. And, I especially miss it today,” he told her, and paused once more. “Miss _him_. I miss him _every single day_ , but today I just…” he trailed off and sighed heavily. He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her hand away from his cheek only to press a kiss to her knuckles. “Today is just another reminder that I’m not a father anymore,” he added, and choked back a sob as he looked away.

Hayley shook her head, and once again cupped his cheek, forcing him to turn towards her and meet her gaze. “No, no, no,” she said softly, still shaking her head vehemently. “That is not true, Elijah, and you of all people know that. You are still a father, Jonathan’s father even though he’s not here,” she told him, and despite her gentle tone her voice was firm, filled with conviction. She caressed his cheek lightly, “it’s okay to miss him. Today and every day. Okay?”

He nodded, “thank you,” he muttered. And then, Hayley reached for him and brushed her lips against his, gently at first, but then she deepened the kiss. It was a lingering sort of kiss, slow an soft, comforting in a way words could never be. He reached and cupped her cheek, too, his fingers gently caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled before his hand slid to cup the back of her neck, fingers sinking in her soft tresses. And, Hayley moved closer to him, and he pulled her on top of him with his other hand resting firmly on her back. And, he kissed her and the world fell away if only for a few seconds of brief reprieve. Air soon became a necessity, and they pulled apart, reluctantly, and Hayley glanced over at the bedside clock. It read 0730.

“We should get up,” she muttered huskily against his lips.

“We should. Though, I would much prefer staying with you here forever,” he told her, and her lips curved into a soft smile.

“Me too,” she sighed. “But, we have to go. I have rounds at 8:30 and if I stay here any longer I’m going to be late,” she said and he knew she was right. With a sigh, she rolled off him and they both stood up, and Elijah couldn’t help but let his eyes roam over her naked body as he made his way to his closet and grabbed a t-shirt for her and another t-shirt and sweatpants for himself.

“Hayley?” he called out softly as she reemerged from the bathroom while he made the bed.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he told her, and gazed deeply into her eyes, trying to convey everything he felt, every little thing he was grateful for. But, most of all he was just grateful for her.

She gave him a lazy half-smile, “I know,” she said softly.

They flitted around the bedroom, getting ready before he went to prepare breakfast. He glanced around his apartment which had changed some in the past three months, becoming less of an empty mancave and more of an actual place where someone lived. But, it wasn’t just him who lived in it because Hayley had somehow infiltrated the space as well. There were pieces of her everywhere like breadcrumbs. Not just her toothbrush and shampoo, that hadn’t surprised him. But, things like her spare scrubs amongst his, her spare makeup bag on one of the shelves in the bathroom, her clothes in his closet. And, other things, too. Her umbrella beside his in the umbrella basket she had bought specifically for his place when he would simply dump his umbrella by the door. The throw blankets draped over the arm of his couch, the pillows thrown in that messy, but completely intentional way. Her To-Do list notepad stuck to his fridge. The peanut butter and jelly in his cupboard that he would never eat, but was as much for Hayley as for the rare occasion Hope would be at his. The three pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream: Chunky Monkey, Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Peanut Butter Cup next to his one pint of Haagen-Dasz mango sorbet. Her preferred bag of muesli next to the green tea she liked, the semi-skimmed milk in the fridge next to his almond and soy milk. Her notebooks, files and iPad on the coffee table next to his laptop. But, his favorite thing was the photographs Hayley had snuck in.

One of her and him during a Mikaelson family dinner to mark his first month of sobriety, his arm around her, face half-hidden by her hair, her head resting against his shoulder, both of them smiling. Another of the two of them looking at each other was on one of the shelves in the living room, arms wrapped around each other, their faces close, noses rubbing against each other. There was also one of the two of them with Hope on her first day of second grade, Hope’s arms wrapped around both of them and she wore an excited smile. Elijah smiled fondly at that. They’d all gone together, him, Hayley, Hope, Niklaus and Camille to drop Hope off and had taken turns taking photos with the youngster. Elijah smiled fondly upon noticing the four “photo-booth” style photographs that Hayley had all but bribed him to do on one of their dates that summer. The first one was the typical “silly” photo, both of them mid-laughter, making silly faces. The second one was too cute, the two of them posing, arms around each other, both of them smiling, their faces touching. In the next one, Hayley had turned to kiss his cheek, but he’d tilted his head slightly so she ended up kissing the corner of his mouth, but he wanted more, so he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, so the camera captured them mid-kiss. And, the last one, the last one was possibly his favorite. He’d pulled her close, and she’d turned slightly towards him and had quipped some sassy, teasing thing, making him blush slightly so he was hiding his face in her hair while she was laughing, her eyes shining in amusement.

Elijah had just grabbed the milk from the fridge and closed the door, his eyes drifting once again to the photo-booth-type photos when he felt arms around his waist, and for a brief second he stiffened, but he relaxed soon when he realized it was Hayley.

“Like what you see?” she asked him softly, her lips brushing against his ear.

“You know I do,” he replied, and rested his own hand on top of hers, lacing their fingers together.

“Me too,” she whispered softly before pressing a quick peck to the mole on his neck. “Okay, I’ll make the coffee,” she told him and pulled away to grab two mugs. While Hayley manned the coffee machine, Elijah grabbed two bowls and poured muesli in them before pouring milk over the cereal and grabbing two spoons. As he went to join her at the kitchen island, his eyes caught the photo on the wall. But, this one wasn’t of him and Hayley, but of him and Jonathan. Jonathan was about three or four and Elijah was holding him in his arms, throwing him, then catching him, and the little boy was laughing in delight and excitement. Elijah felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them back just as Hayley spoke.

“You okay?” she asked softly, and he nodded as he set the two bowls on the table.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he told her, but they both knew that wasn’t exactly true.

“You sure you’re okay to work today? I’m sure Vincent will give you time off if you ask him,” she said as she took a sip of her coffee and shoved a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“Yeah, I- I need to work, to focus on something else,” he told her as he sipped his own coffee. “I just- I need to get through today,” he added with a sad sigh.

“Okay,” she said, nodding. “But, let me know if it’s too much, ‘kay?” she added, giving him a tender smile. He nodded, and returned the smile, though it was barely there, and edge of sadness in it. He reached for her hand then, and laced their fingers together, then They finished breakfast in silence and grabbed their things before heading out.

* * *

Elijah unlocked his car as soon as they stepped out of his loft building while she fished her keys out of her bag. Despite the significance of the date, which Hayley had only learned that morning, it had been a strangely pleasant morning. They were developing a rhythm, a routine and they moved about his apartment, or hers if he was the one to come over, effortlessly, almost completely in sync with each other. After Elijah told her just what the date marked, Hayley realized that Klaus must have known when he’d taken Hope the evening before. In his own way, Klaus had been looking out for Elijah because he’d hoped that she would take advantage of not having Hope for the night and gone to his place, so Elijah wouldn’t have to spend part of that day alone. [Hayley had to admit that after Elijah fell off the wagon, things between him and his siblings improved and even though they didn’t always get it, even when they were sometimes too overbearing while other times not quite aware of what was wrong, they were trying harder, they were willing to listen, and Elijah was more willing to share his feelings with them. Not fully, and she knew it would take a while before he would be ready to fully let them in, but it was progress].

“Hayley?” he called out, just as she found the keys, and she looked up, keys dangling from her fingers.

“Forgive me, I won’t be able to drive to work with you. I, uh, I have something to do before work, so… I’m sorry,” he said guiltily. “You do have your keys, though, right?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

“Like I said, I just have somewhere to be, so won’t be able to drive with you if you don’t mind. I’m sorry,” he told her, glancing down guiltily. Hayley furrowed her brow as she tried to figure out what was going on before it finally occurred to her, and her shoulders dropped as she let out a sigh.

“Oh,” she muttered. “Oh, Elijah,” she repeated, and rounded her car to stand next to him, touching his arm lightly. “Are you- is it because you’re going to visit Jonathan’s grave?” she asked him gently, and he nodded sadly. _Of course he was_. With his time in the service, this was the first time he was actually home to go visit. She wondered if he’d ever gone since he’d been back “Oh, Elijah,” she muttered softly as she rubbed his arm in comfort, and noticed him sag a little. “Do you- would- would you like some company?” she finally asked him, gazing deeply into his eyes.

“You have rounds,” he said quickly, almost automatically, but she could see the pain in his eyes, hear that hurt edge in his voice, but of course he was trying to pretend everything was fine. “It’s fine, I- I can go by myself, it’s fine,” he said, shaking his head.

“It’s not about that,” she shook her head. “I can- I’m fine, I’ve still got time to get to rounds. But, it’s not about that. This is about you. If you want to go alone because you need to do this alone, then that’s fine and I’ll see you at work,” she said softly, and Elijah sighed, averting his gaze.

“I don’t- would you be mad if I did?” he asked her, his gaze flickering to hers shyly, and Hayley’s stomach clenched, but at the same time her heart melted a little. He was the one hurting and yet he cared about her feelings, and Hayley couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more.

She shook her head, “of course not. All that matters to me is that that is what you want. Because if you want me to come with you, I’ll go with you,” she told him, her voice firm but gentle. “You know I’m here for you, Elijah. Whenever you need me,” she added more quietly.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, and she could see his eyes were glassy with unshed tears. She reached to cup his cheek, and he leaned into her touch. “I just- I haven’t actually been to see him yet,” he admitted, and Hayley’s heart clenched. “I just- I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. But, I told myself I would on his birthday. So…” he trailed off, and she noticed his lower lip quivered slightly.

“Oh, baby,” she muttered sadly, and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “So,” she started, and licked her lips nervously, “how do you feel about some company? Want me to come with?”

Elijah nodded, and she sighed. “I- please?” he muttered, glancing at her shyly. “I know you have rounds and-” he started, but she cut him off.

“Shh,” she whispered softly, resting her thumb against his lips. “Don’t even. I’ve got nothing else to do, I’m here for you. Okay?”

He nodded, “okay.”

“Good,” she said, and opened his trunk and threw her duffel bag in. Elijah didn’t even say anything about that and got in, so she did, too. [She would figure out getting her car later. Right now it was about Elijah].

The drive to the cemetery was silent, neither of them saying anything, and Elijah rested his hand on the console, so Hayley rested her own on top his and squeezed it gently in reassurance. He glanced over at her and she met his gaze, her lips forming into a soft smile. _I’m here. You are not alone. I’m with you_ she tried to say. Elijah nodded and returned the smile, though his was more sad. Finally Elijah stopped next to a sign that showed the direction of Lafayette Cemetery and turned the engine off. Together, they walked towards the cemetery, but Hayley stopped by a stall just before the gate that was selling flowers. She bought a bouquet of forget-me-nots and wildflowers. And then, she entered and spotted Elijah walking a few feet away from her, so she quickened her pace to catch up to him. She caught up just as he stopped though, and she heard him take a shaky breath. Her shoulders dropped and she turned to look at the grave he was standing in front of. On it was engraved: _Jonathan Christopher Mikaelson. 09.20.2012 – 11.13.2016._ _Our little Angel. Rest in Peace._ Hayley felt tears prickle at her eyes as she stepped towards the headstone and placed the small bouquet in the vase attached to it. Briefly, Elijah glanced over at her, and she could see the gratitude in his tear-filled eyes and her heart ached for him. She could see how hard he was trying to appear strong, how tightly he was holding himself and all she wanted was to fix this, to take away his pain, but she knew she couldn’t. So instead, she stepped closer to him.

“Happy Birthday, J,” Elijah muttered, and let out another shaky breath.

“J?” she asked, though she was pretty sure that was a nickname for Jonathan.

Elijah let out a half-chuckle, “yeah. For Jonathan. I’m not quite sure why Katherine and I settled on such an old-style name. But, we were pretty sure he was gonna hate us when he grew up. So, we called him some shortened variations. J. JC for Jonathan Christopher. Jon,” he told her, and she couldn’t help but let out a quiet half-snort.

“I’ll say,” she quipped. “J is kind of cute, though,” she added, and when she glanced over at him, a half-smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I don’t know why I always call him Jonathan now. I guess now it no longer matters that it was too long and old fashioned for a kid. Because he’s gone. Or, maybe it just doesn’t hurt as much. I don’t know…” he trailed off and shrugged, and she saw him blink back tears. 

“Yeah,” she sighed. She pursed her lips, “happy birthday, sweet boy,” she whispered quietly.

Then, she stepped closer to Elijah, so close they were just a few inches from each other. Elijah sniffled and let out another shaky breath. And then, she rested her head on his shoulder, and reached to wrap her arm around his shoulder. Elijah reached for her hand that was resting on it, and rested his own on top of it, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. She felt his lips brush on the top of her head, and her eyes fluttered closed briefly, and a lone tear slid down her cheek, but she wiped it away hastily.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” she whispered quietly, her voice thick with emotion.

“Thank you,” he muttered, his lips brushing against her cheek. She lifted her head slightly, and pulled her hand out from underneath his only to cup his cheek and tilt his head so he would look at her.

“I know today is hard for you, but despite everything,” she paused and inhaled shakily, “I’m right here. You are not alone,” she told him, her voice firm but gentle, filled with conviction.

“Thank you, Hayley,” he said huskily and paused. “That means… more than you could possibly know,” he admitted, choking back a sob. And then, he lifted his head slightly and pressed his lips to her forehead, and Hayley shut her eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. They rested like that for a few seconds before pulling apart, and Hayley sniffled just as a few tears spilled over Elijah’s cheeks. He reached to wipe them away and let out a shaky breath.

“I just- I miss him so much,” he muttered, and his voice broke into a sob.

Once again, she rested her head on his shoulder and stretched out her hand to rest it on his other shoulder, resuming her earlier position. He reached for the hand that was resting on his shoulder and gripped it tightly. “I know,” she murmured as he reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “I know, baby, I know,” she repeated quietly. Finally, Elijah bowed his head and let out a pained sob, and his shoulders shook, but she held onto him. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered, “I’m right here, baby. I’m right here, Elijah. I’m here, you’re not alone.”

They stayed there for a few more minutes, the only sounds being Elijah’s pained, stifled sobs and her quiet murmurs of comfort. Eventually, she Elijah dropped his hand and wiped away his tears before reaching a shaky hand to trace the engraving on the headstone.

Hayley lifted her head and wiped away the few tears from her own cheeks before glancing over at him, “ready to go?”

He nodded sadly, “yeah… let’s go,” he said softly, and immediately reached for her hand. The two of them walked in silence out of the cemetery and to Elijah’s car. “Forgive me for making you late to work,” Elijah said as he started the engine, one hand on the console.

Her eyes immediately snapped over to him and she shook her head vehemently, “no, don’t apologize,” she told him then reached to cup his cheek gently. “Hey,” she muttered softly, forcing him to look at her, “you have nothing to apologize for. I can only imagine how hard today must be. I’m here for you, okay?” she said gently, and Elijah nodded faintly. “I’m here for you,” she repeated, dropping her hand to the console while Elijah backed out and began to drive in the direction of the hospital.

“Thank you,” he muttered, his gaze flickering over to hers before he rested his own hand on top of hers and laced their fingers together.

* * *

The heady lust had just worn off, and Rebekah rested her head on Marcel’s well-toned chest, his arm wrapped around her, their feet tangled together while her other hand traced lazy circles on his chest.

“What’re you thinkin’ ‘bout?” Marcel muttered against her skin before pressing a quick peck to her forehead.

“Oh, nothing,” she said, her lips stretching into a lazy smile, though she was lying. In truth, her mind was spinning a mile a minute. [She’d had a meeting with Vincent, typical monthly briefing, but had taken a lot more time off from the office and when she’d spotted Marcel, they’d snuck off to an on-call room. And, while Marcel had been surprised by her spontaneity, it hadn’t exactly been a complete coincidence. She’d been tracking her cycles and planning little visits to the hospital for exactly that purpose. She knew it was insane, but the desire to have a baby, a desire she’d pushed away for a while had been reawakened with the arrival of her niece, and after the pregnancy scare three months ago she’d become newly determined].

“Bekah…” Marcel drawled, and she could see the exasperated look on his face without looking up at him.

“Ye-es?” she said, though it sounded like a question. Marcel reached for her hand resting on his chest and took it, lacing their fingers together before bringing it to his lips and kissing it. She hummed in pleasure, her eyes fluttering closed. Then, he shifted slightly, angling himself more towards her and cupped her cheek, tilting her head so she would be forced to look at him. And, Rebekah knew that if she did actually look at him, there was no way she would be able to hide the truth.

“Hey,” he said softly, rubbing her jaw with his thumb, “you know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right? Whatever it is… I’m here,” he muttered, his voice husky, and she felt tears prickle at her eyes.

She took a deep breath, “three months ago, I’d missed my period by like a week, so I took two pregnancy tests. And, they were both positive,” she finally did, her voice barely above a whisper. Marcel’s eyes widened in shock and she saw a million emotions flit across his face. “So, I scheduled an appointment to- just to be sure,” she continued, her voice shaking slightly. She paused again, and gazed deeply in Marcel’s eyes, but all she saw there was love and reassurance. “It was a false positive,” she finally said, and felt tears spill down her cheek as she let out a breath she’d been holding. “And, I just- I mean, it’s not like we were trying, but we weren’t _not_ trying either and I… you know how much I want a family, children of my own, Marcel. I guess I was more disappointed than I expected to be. It hurt more than I thought it would…” she trailed off, and looked down as tears continued to fall down her face.

“Oh, Bekah…” Marcel muttered, and she felt him sag slightly beneath her. And then, he cupped her cheek once more and tilted her head up again, and gazed deeply into her eyes. “Babe, I’m so sorry,” he whispered softly. He opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated and cleared his throat. “Why didn’t say something back then?” he finally asked. “I mean… this was three months ago, babe, and I knew nothin’ about it. And, it’s obviously been bothering you…” he trailed off nervously, though there was a hint of hurt in his voice. She couldn’t blame him.

She sniffled, “I- I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same. I know you like kids, but I just- I don’t know how much you want them. Do you want kids? Because I do, Marcel. I really, really want a family of my own. And, I want it with you. For you it might be just something, somewhere down the line, but for me… I’ve always wanted to be a mum,” she admitted, sniffling again.

“Of course… of course I want kids, Rebekah,” he told her, and she looked up at him again. “Of course I do. I love kids. But, I am crazy about you, you know that. And, I’d be happy with just you. But, also, I’d do anything to make you happy, Rebekah Mikaelson. ‘Cause I love you so much,” he told her, his voice thick with emotion, and Rebekah’s heart skipped a beat at his admission. “I love you,” he repeated. This time, she was the one who leaned forward to close the gap between them and captured his lips with her own, her arm wrapping around his neck from behind. Marcel pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss, their lips molding with each other. Their tongues tangled together loosely before Marcel pulled away gently.

“There’s somethin’ else you’re not tellin’ me, isn’t there?” he asked her bluntly, and she sighed. _This man knew her too well sometimes_. When she hesitated to tell him, he added, “babe, you can tell me, you know that. I love you, so whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“It’s just- that wasn’t the only reason I didn’t say something. Because this was three months ago when Elijah fell off the wagon. The day of that appointment,” she paused, and took a deep breath, “I’d just gotten home and a few minutes later Elijah came over. That was the day we talked about everything and for the first time in his life Elijah admitted he needed us, needed me to be strong for him instead of the usual way of him always being there for us. He needed us to be strong, so I didn’t think it was a good time to add my personal drama to the mix,” she finally said, and Marcel furrowed his eyebrows for a moment before relaxing.

“Oh,” was all he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah…” she sighed, but didn’t say anything else, and looked away.

“Hey, look, I get it,” Marcel said softly and cupped her chin gently, tilting her head so she would look at him, “I know how hard that was with Elijah falling off the wagon. But, you could’ve told me.”

“I know. But, still it felt- I don’t know, it felt selfish,” she whispered.

“It’s not selfish, Rebekah. You can be there for Elijah, be strong for him, but when you need someone to be strong for you, you got me, alright?” he said, gazing at her tenderly. She nodded. "You got me,” he repeated.

“I know. And, I love you for it, Marcel,” she told him. “I promise to tell you next time,” she added and was leaning closer for another kiss when her phone rang loudly. Immediately, she scrambled away from Marcel and reached into her purse that lay on the floor, fumbling for her phone. She glanced at the caller ID. It was her Mother. Marcel gave her a confused look, but just leaned on his side while she answered it.

“Mother, hello,” she greeted her mother coldly.

“Hello, Rebekah, darling,” Esther greeted her on the other end. “Why so cold? I am your mother after all,” she added, and Rebekah rolled her eyes.

“I’m not cold, mother dearest,” she said, and almost squeaked as Marcel tickled her side. She gave him a pointed look, so he pulled away. “Toasty warm, actually.” Marcel sniggered, and she flashed him another look.

“Is everything alright, darling?” her mother asked her, and Rebekah mouthed at Marcel to stop.

She cleared her throat, “perfectly fine, mum. What is it that you wanted?” she asked, panting slightly

“Uh uh,” Esther muttered skeptically. “Are you at work? You sound odd and flustered. Are you at the gym?”

Rebekah opened her mouth to answer, then closed it as Marcel tried to contain his laughter. “No, not at the gym, Mother. I am at work. I was just at the hospital at a meeting,” she told her, which was true. “I just really need to get to the office because I’ve got a busy day,” she paused, and elbowed Marcel, who stifled his ‘ow’ in her hair. “So, out with it, mother, what do you want?”

“Well, I hope this won’t take too much of your time, but your father, Henrik and I will drop by for dinner tonight. We’re flying out from New Orleans, so we’ll be in the city this evening. And, we’ve heard about poor Hope’s accident, so thought we should drop by for a visit. Have Hayley bring her if she can,” Esther informed her, all in one breath.

“Uh, mother, I’m not sure now’s the best time-” she tried to argue, hoping to convince her mother not to do this, but it was like Esther didn’t even hear her.

“We’ll be there at 8 sharp. See you,” she said. “Mwah!” And then, she hung up. Rebekah hit her head against the pillow, hard, and Marcel winced.

“Bloody hell,” she groaned. “This isn’t going to end well,” she muttered as her boyfriend trailed his very skilled fingers along her side.

“Another Mikaelson family dinner?” Marcel asked, though the answer was pretty obvious.

Still, she nodded, “sadly yes. Let’s hope and pray this one doesn’t end in disaster. And, of course, classic Mikael and Esther they decide to come today of all days,” she sighed. Her parents were apparently really insensitive. “I doubt Elijah will even want to show up,” she muttered and decided she would text her siblings to meet at hers instead of springing this news on them. She went to the group chat with her siblings plus Hayley, Cami and Marcel. _Hey, guys. Could you all come to our place tonight around 7:45pm? I’ve got something important to tell you._ Her phone pinged repeatedly with a flurry of replies.

**KM:** Oh, what happened now, Bekah?

**EM:** Rebekah, is everything alright?

**HM:** Bekah, I think tonight Elijah and I are just gonna go to his place…

**CO:** Is everything okay?

**FM:** Honey, what’s wrong?

**Nik:** You’re not pregnant, are you? Did Marcel knock you up?

**HM:** Klaus!

**EM:** Niklaus, for the love of God…

**RM:** No, I am not knocked up, Nik, you wanker! But, I do have something to tell you so wear something nice and come over, okay?

**HM:** Fine, but can’t promise we’ll stay.

**KM:** I’ve got surgery tonight, so I might be a bit late, but fine.

**Nik:** If you insist, dear sister

**CO:** Klaus, be nice. And, we’ll see you tonight.

Marcel groaned, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before looking over at her.

“Why is it always our place?” he wondered, annoyed.

“I have no bloody idea,” she replied, and shivered as he continued to trail his fingers down her sides.

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“When do you need to get to the office?” he asked her.

“Not for another half hour, why?” she replied, nuzzling him slightly and tilting her head to look at him.

“Good. That’s just enough time. I’ll be quick,” he told her, and reached for her, pulling her on top of it. She let out a quiet yelp.

“Marcel, what are you doing?” she asked, her eyes wide, though she had to admit it was turning her on.

“Let’s make a baby, Rebekah,” he said, smirking, and rolled them over so he was on top. She let out a squeal and burst into laughter just as Marcel crashed his lips to hers.

* * *

Despite their little detour, Hayley made it just in time for rounds, and she and Elijah separated with a kiss in front of the residents’ locker room. After getting changed quickly, Hayley followed Elena, Keelin and the other residents along with the new batch of interns, which included Josh to the surgical floor for rounds.

After rounds, Elena, who was the new Chief Resident, turned to them, clipboard in hand and started assigning them. [Strangely, something about Hope’s case had shifted things for Elena and awakened an instinct and desire in her as a peds doctor, so she was currently specializing in that and the resident was becoming a lot more self-assured than when she used to jump around between specialties]. 

“Right, Keelin, Hayley, Josh, you’re in the E.R. today,” she told them and moved onto the next residents. The three of them nodded and made their way downstairs to the E.R., Keelin immediately taking charge. Hayley was better with traumas, but Keelin was the one who spent more time managing the E.R. itself so they had a rhythm.

“Rosza, you’re on SCUT,” the resident ordered. “Hales, you can deal with the patient in need of stiches in Bed 7. I’ve got flu shots. Oh joy,” she said, rolling her eyes at the last part. Hayley chuckled, but grabbed the chart and went to Bed 7.

Most of the morning passed by in monotone, but Hayley didn’t dare say something because there were no quiet days in the E.R.

“It’s quiet,” Josh commented when they both went back to the nurse’s desk.

Hayley turned to glare at him, “don’t jinx it, Josh,” she quipped, and just then their pagers beeped with an incoming 3 minutes out.

“Oh, shit!” the intern exclaimed, groaning, but followed her to grab the gowns.

“See, Josh? Never say the E.R. is quiet,” she said, smirking slightly as they jogged to the ambulance bay. Quickly, they helped each other with their gowns just as the ambulance roared in and the doors opened to reveal Davina, the brunette paramedic and Kol’s girlfriend.

“Oh, hey, Davina,” Hayley said, flashing the paramedic a smile.

“Hey there, Supergirl,” Josh said, smiling at her as well. Hayley had been just as surprised as anyone that the two of them were friends, but she was glad Josh had friends.

“Hey, Josh. Hey, Hayley,” she said by way of greeting.

“So, Davina, what do we have?” Hayley asked as they rolled the patient, a young boy, out.

“Ten-year-old Tyler Mason fell while rock climbing and broke his leg and dislocated his shoulder. GCS of 10, possible concussion, but is otherwise fine,” she reported and they rolled him inside.

“Okay, let’s take him to trauma room 2 and page ortho and neuro STAT!” she ordered.

“Just bummed cause today’s my birthday,” Tyler added glumly as they transferred him onto the gurney.

“Aww,” Hayley cooed, “that sucks. But, hey at least you get a cool cast,” she told him, though she wasn’t sure how much of a silver lining that was.

“Great,” the kid muttered, and from the look on his face it was obvious it wasn’t.

“Sorry, bud,” she told him. “Okay, let’s hook him up to monitors, start an IV drip and get me a CBC,” she ordered and went to examine his leg just as the doors opened and revealed none other than her boyfriend. Hayley sighed. “And, get him some morphine, poor kid must be in pain!” she added.

“Hello, Dr. Marshall,” Elijah said by way of greeting. “What do we have here?”

“Ten-year-old Tyler Mason, he fell while rock climbing and broke his leg. Looks like an open fracture, but we need to get X-rays to confirm. And, he dislocated his shoulder. And, has a possible concussion,” she reported. She turned to Josh then, “Josh, get an X-ray of Tyler’s leg, okay?”

“Okay, Tyler, let’s see that shoulder,” Elijah announced in his best doctor’s voice and Hayley could see that he was compartmentalizing, but she couldn’t blame him. “Dr. Marshall, could you come over here for traction?”

“Of course,” she said and went to help him.

“So, Tyler, how exactly did this happen?” Elijah wondered.

“Well, my parents let me and my two friends go rock climbing for my birthday. And, my friends kind of dared me to try this other course and I wanted to prove I’m a big boy, so… I tried it but I fell,” he recounted, pouting slightly, and Hayley couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“Ouch, that sounds painful,” Elijah said, flashing Tyler a smile of his own, though it was obviously sad.

“Yeah. Sucky way to spend my birthday,” Tyler muttered grumpily, and she noticed Elijah stiffen slightly. 

“It’s gonna be okay, buddy,” she told Tyler, flashing him a quick smile. “Dr. Mikaelson is going to set your shoulder, and it’s gonna feel much better,” she said, and Elijah flashed her a quick smile.

“You promise?” Tyler asked, his dark brown eyes wide. [She knew what Elijah was seeing, she was seeing it, too. Maybe Tyler didn’t look exactly like Jonathan, but they had the same general features: dark brown eyes, curly brown hair, pale skin. She could only imagine how hard this was for Elijah].

“Yup, I promise,” she told him.

“Ready, Dr. Marshall?”

“Ready when you are.”

“And, one, two, three,” Elijah said and pulled quickly, setting the bone in place.

“Okay, Tyler. Dr. Marshall, will you please wrap Tyler’s arm while I take a look at those X-rays?” he requested and she nodded. She ordered for the sling and wrapped Tyler’s arm before going to join Elijah.

“It’s an open tibial fracture. Damn, poor kid,” she said quietly. “Surgery?”

“Yeah, that’s the quickest and best fix. We’ll use an external stabilizer, then he’ll come in in a few weeks and I’ll remove it,” he explained. “Scrub in?”

“Sure,” she said.

“You too, Dr. Rosza,” he added, turning to Josh, whose eyes widened momentarily before he gave a curt nod. Just then, the doors opened, and Gia reentered, followed by none other than Meredith. Hayley noticed Elijah tense, and she, too, pursed her lips.

“Dr. Marshall, Dr. Mikaelson, hello,” she said by way of greeting. “What do we have?”

“Dr. Marshall, please update Dr. Fell while I go talk to the parents outside,” Elijah said, but he didn’t wait for Hayley to reply or for Meredith to say something, and left, the door slamming behind him.

Hayley turned to the neuro surgeon, “so, Tyler fell while rock climbing,” she started, and recounted what happened.

“Okay, Tyler, I’m Dr. Fell and I’ll do your neuro exam,” she announced. When she was done, she turned to Hayley. “Well, he does have a slight concussion, but I’ll just advise to monitor him closely post-op,” she said. “Have a good day.” And, with that she was done.

* * *

With Marcel in another surgery, Elena joined Hayley, Elijah and Josh to do Tyler’s surgery, but mainly just to monitor. Hayley’s eyes flickered to Elijah. She wasn’t surprised he was wearing his dinosaur scrub cap today of all days. He seemed fine, and she knew he could work, but he hadn’t been back at work for that long. He’d stayed away from the hospital while his hand healed and he started the long road to recovery, then came back for consults in August, and only got cleared for surgery the second week of September. So, far things had gone okay, even though she knew his hand was occasionally crampy, especially in long surgeries, but given the date, she couldn’t help but be concerned.

“Dr. Rosza,” Elijah said before starting, “what are the first steps once we open him up?”

Josh paused for a second, “uh, we, like- I mean, _you_ cause you’re the orthopod… uh, debridement and irrigation?” It sounded like a question.

“Very good. I’m going to open him up a little to have more space, clean out and irrigate the wound, then we’re going to stabilize the fracture,” he explained. “Scalpel,” Elijah ordered, and the scrub nurse handed him one. He leaned forward to make the incision, but for a moment, he froze.

“Dr. Mikaelson, is everything okay?” she asked softly. When he didn’t answer, she repeated, “Elijah, are you okay?” she asked, worry obvious in her tone, and she rarely called him ‘Elijah’ in the O.R.

“Uh, I…” he stammered, but his hand shook and the scalpel dropped to the floor with a clang. All eyes were no on him, and Hayley glanced at him worried. “I can’t- I need a moment…” he stammered, and she could hear the slight tremor in his voice.

“But, Dr. Mikaelson, this is your surgery,” Josh started to say, but Hayley shook her head, and the resident didn’t say another word.

“I can’t,” Elijah muttered again, shaking his head, before untying his surgical gown and storming out of the O.R.

“Should we page for Dr. Al-Rashid?” one of the scrub nurses asked.

“Um, give me- give me a minute. I’ll let you know,” she told them and undid her own surgical gown, throwing her gloves and mask in the surgical waste container before leaving the O.R. herself.

Sure enough, she found Elijah around the corner from the O.R., leaning against the wall while clutching the dinosaur scrub cap in his dominant hand, and she immediately went over to him and crouched in front of him. He was breathing heavily, his breath coming out in gasps for air, and she noticed his eyes were glassy with tears.

“Hey,” she said softly, and reached to cup his cheek. He flinched, but then relaxed when he realized it was her, and he looked up and met her gaze and Hayley’s heart clenched at the obvious pain in his eyes. “You okay?” she asked him softly as she rested her hand on top of his other one, the one clutching the scrub cap.

“I just- I- I just kept thinking that Jon would never get to rock climb, and I just couldn’t…” he finally said, choking back a sob.

“I know,” she muttered sadly. “Do you want me to tell them to page Aya?” she asked him as she caressed his jaw lightly. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just stared into her eyes before he finally shook his head.

“I just- I need a moment and my hand cramped a little, I- I’m sorry,” he muttered shakily, and she noticed him switch the scrub cap to his other hand so he could flex his dominant hand.

“Hey,” she said softly tilting his head so he would look at her, “it’s okay. I know you, you can do this,” she told him encouragingly. And then, she rested her palm against his dominant hand. “See? Rock steady hand,” she whispered. They laced their fingers and gripped each other’s hand before uncurling them and resting their palms against each other. And, they repeated their previous motions. “You got this, Elijah,” she whispered. “You can do this. I believe in you,” she added, and his lips curled into a soft smile. And then, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, pressing a soft kiss to her lips that she returned before they both pulled away.

Finally, Elijah spoke, breaking the silence, “let’s go rescrub, shall we?” he said, and stood up, still holding her hand.

“Yeah,” she smiled and the two of them walked back to O.R. 3 hand in hand, parting to scrub and enter the O.R. to the claps and cheers of the other surgeons.

* * *

Hayley reached for his hand across the console and squeezed it lightly, and Elijah looked over at her, pushing away the memories that had been playing around on a loop in his mind. Most of the day had gone better than he’d thought, and he was immensely grateful to Hayley for going with him that morning, except for Tyler Mason’s surgery. He’d mostly managed to consult up until that moment in the O.R. when he was suddenly reminded that Jon had never gone rock climbing and he never would. That Tyler was 10, an age Jon would never reach. Because Jon would remain forever frozen at four and he’d never get to grow up. Because Jonathan was gone. Elijah blinked back tears and focused on the feel of Hayley’s hand in his. Right now, the two of them were on their way to Rebekah’s to find out whatever his sister was about to tell them.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Hayley asked him hesitantly, glancing over at him.

He sighed heavily, and squeezed her hand again, “well, I can’t ignore my siblings forever. Besides, I’m trying to let them in a little, too. And, it sounded important,” he said, but at her pointed look, he added, “I’ll be fine.”

She nodded, “okay. Just know that if it’s too much, or if you’d simply rather go home, we’ll do that and I’ll tell Rebekah,” she told him, her lips curling into a slow, gentle half-smile.

He returned the smile, “okay, thank you. You do know I won’t break, right?”

“I know. I’m not saying you can’t handle this,” she told him, her thumb rubbing his knuckles in a comforting manner. “I just- I don’t want today to be any harder than it already is for you,” she told him, and his shoulder slumped and he relaxed.

His expression softened, “thank you,” he told her, and lifted her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, and soon enough they were in front of Rebekah’s apartment building. Elijah parked the car and turned off the engine, and the two of them got out, Hayley double checking her pager was still on. [She was on-call, but she managed to switch with someone else so she could leave, but she would have to go back if she got paged]. Rebekah buzzed them in and Hayley reached for his hand as they walked inside, and he relaxed as they laced their fingers together. An elevator ride later, and they were in front of Rebekah’s apartment. Elijah took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

The door opened to reveal a tense-looking Camille, and she flashed them both sympathetic smiles. Hayley whispered something in Camille’s ear that sounded like asking what was wrong, but the blonde just shook her head and beckoned them inside.

“Oh, good, Elijah and Hayley are here. This is about to get even better,” Rebekah piped up sarcastically from the living room and Elijah exchanged a look with his girlfriend.

But, as soon as they entered the living room, Elijah knew just what his sister meant and why Camille had acted the way she did. In the middle of the living room stood Esther and Mikael and Elijah immediately froze, and squeezed Hayley’s hand slightly. For her part, his girlfriend was staring, eyes wide, and he heard her inhale sharply.

“Hello, Elijah. Hayley,” Esther greeted the two of them, smiling.

“Son,” Mikael grunted. “Hayley.”

Elijah opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. But, lucky for him, Hayley found just the right words.

“Just… what the _hell_ are you two doing here?” she demanded, glaring at them.


	24. Your Little Hand's Wrapped Around My Finger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mikaelson dinner party during which Elijah tries to make an effort with Henrik. Later, Elijah reminisces about Jonathan.

As soon as the words were out of Hayley’s mouth, the room became silent, and Elijah noticed his siblings look amongst each other. His father seemed unbothered by his girlfriend’s words while his mother clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

His mother opened her mouth to answer, but was spared from actually doing so by loud squealing and a pair of feet padding loudly on the hardwood floor. Both him and Hayley looked to find Hope running towards them, her flaming red braids swinging around her head, and she threw herself at Hayley immediately.

“Mommy!” his niece squealed, and Hayley had just enough time to lower herself to the ground, letting go of his hand in the process, to catch her daughter, returning the hug.

“Oh, my baby girl!” Hayley exclaimed, just as happy to see her daughter, momentarily distracted from the two Mikaelson parents. Elijah on the other hand stood rigidly beside his girlfriend. As much as he loved his niece, it was hard seeing her today because she was just another painful reminder of Jonathan. Jonathan would have turned seven today, and yet he would never actually be seven because he had died at four. Elijah set his jaw, and pursed his lips, trying to not let it show just how much this fact pained him. “Did you have a good day at school?” Hayley asked Hope.

“Yes, I did! And, Cami took me to get ice-cream while we waited for daddy to be done with work!” she announced, beaming, and Hayley chuckled.

“That’s awesome, sweetie,” she said as she disentangled herself from her daughter.

“Are you finished with work today?” Hope asked Hayley.

“No, sorry, sweetie. I still have to go to work, but tomorrow I’ll pick you up from school, okay?”

“Will we get ice-cream?” Hope asked quickly, not missing a beat.

“Two days in a row… I don’t know, Hope,” Hayley said, her expression becoming serious.

“Please, mommy,” Hope said, pouting, “we haven’t spent any time together and I miss you… can we please, please get ice-cream tomorrow?” she asked, giving Hayley the puppy look.

“Oh, fine!” Hayley sighed, defeated.

“Yay!” Hope exclaimed cheerfully. Then, she turned to him. “Oh, hi, Uncle Elijah!” she said, beaming at him adorably and moved away from her mother to come over to him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, and smiled at her, then crouched down so he was on her level, and Hope immediately threw her arms around his neck. For a moment, he stood there, frozen, but then he returned the hug, pressing her small body to him, smelling that familiar, childlike smell, stroking her soft, red hair. He felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them back. He picked her up as he stood up, positioning her on his hip.

“Hey, Hope, aren’t you a little big to be picked up?” Hayley quipped, giving her daughter a pointed look, though she was obviously amused.

Hope rolled her eyes theatrically, “nope, mommy! And, besides, my leg needs to rest sometimes,” she said, pouting slightly, and pressed herself against him.

Hayley snorted, “sure sweetie.” Even Elijah had to let out an amused chuckle.

Still holding Hope, Elijah turned his attention once more to his siblings, and noticed that Henrik had just entered the room, and Elijah’s heart clenched painfully, but he ignored that little voice in his head

His youngest brother smiled faintly, “hey, Hayley,” he said, flashing her a smile.

Hayley grinned, “oh, hey, Henrik. Come give me a hug,” she said warmly, and the kid immediately ran over, the two of them exchanging a quick hug. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m good thanks,” he said, smiling easily. Then, he looked over at him, and his smile faded a little, and Elijah felt a pang of hurt and guilt.

“Hey, Henrik,” he said, deciding to take the first step in fixing their relationship.

His youngest brother looked at him, surprised, “oh… h- hey, ‘Lijah,” he said, and smiled timidly. _How had he missed this? Had he really been that wrapped up in his own pain he didn’t even notice what he was doing to his family, his siblings, especially Henrik?_ Part of him knew it wasn’t really his fault, but he felt really selfish about it. Elijah reached over to him and ruffled his hair affectionately, and from the corner of his eye he noticed Hayley watching the three of them, a fond smile on her lips. [If Henrik found the gesture annoying, as most teenagers would, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he just smiled, pleased, that Elijah had been affectionate with him and Elijah’s heart clenched once more].

Hayley cleared her throat then, drawing the attention away from the two kids, Henrik standing there awkwardly between him and Hayley, Hope on Elijah’s hip, and turned to glare again at his parents. “So,” she said with inflection in her voice, “what the hell are you two doing here?”

“Mommy!” Hope exclaimed, shifting slightly in his arms. “You said a bad word!”

Rebekah and Freya both snorted while Hayley sighed, as if just now realizing her daughter was still in the room. “Sorry, sweetie. Mommy meant what the heck are you two doing here?” she said, directing her question at his parents. “Now, why don’t you and Henrik go watch a movie while we talk. We’ll get you guys when dinner’s ready, ‘kay?” she suggested.

“C’mon, Hope, let’s go so we can actually finish the movie,” Henrik told her. “We can play Uno after,” he added, as if sensing the tense atmosphere and trying to get his ‘niece’ out of the room as soon as possible. Elijah lowered Hope down, and nudged her gently towards Henrik.

The youngest Mikaelson didn’t need to be told twice, “okay!” she said cheerfully, grabbed Henrik’s hand and dragged him off to Rebekah’s bedroom.

Once the kids were out of the way, Elijah and Hayley once again turned their attention to the Mikaelson parents and his siblings.

“Well?” Hayley demanded, crossing her arms. “Since my kid’s not here anymore, I’m going to ask this again. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Two. Doing. Here?” she asked, glaring at his mother and father, enunciating every word.

His mother rolled her eyes, “oh, don’t be ridiculous, Hayley, we heard you the first time you said it,” she bit. “And, to answer your question, we don’t really need an excuse to come visit our children do we?”

“Well, if your children welcomed your visit, perhaps this statement would be true,” Niklaus muttered sarcastically from where he was perched on one of the chairs by kitchen island. Camille swatted at him and he yelped, looking mock-hurt, “ow, Camille!”

“Oh, stop it,” she chastised. “Now’s not the time.”

“Well, you’re right about that Cami,” Hayley said sarcastically. “Of all days you could have chosen for your impromptu visit, you had to come today?” she snapped, pursing her lips.

“We were concerned for Hope, of course we wanted to check in-” Esther started, but Hayley didn’t give her time to finish.

“Really? Hope?” Hayley scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re really gonna use my daughter as an excuse? And, if you were so concerned for your grandchild, Esther, where were you more than three months ago when she was fighting for her life?” she demanded, narrowing her gaze, but he could hear the hurt in her voice, could see that she was barely keeping back tears. “Where were you then?”

“Well, it’s not like we knew anything!” his mother snapped, stepping forward. “It’s not like you told us anything! We had to find out from Vincent of all people!” she yelled, becoming irritated. _Well, at least that answered the how Esther and Mikael had found out about Hope’s accident,_ he thought.

“Well, excuse me if our last encounter didn’t leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy and like I could count on you two when I needed some support,” Hayley retorted. His mother, once again, clicked her tongue in disappointment.

“Besides, there was a lot going on here,” Freya interjected, clearing her throat. “No offense, but you two would have just made it worse,” she added.

“I agree with Hayley,” Rebekah piped up. “Of all days you two could have chosen to make sure we’re all still alive, you had to choose Jon’s birthday,” she added, shaking her head in a mixture between disappointment and exasperation. “As if today wasn’t hard enough for some of us.” Elijah sighed heavily and tried hard to focus on the matter at hand, pushing away the memories threatening to overwhelm him. His sister continued, “perhaps I should at least be grateful you called a few hours before hand,” she said sarcastically. It had been obvious, but somehow it just now occurred to Elijah why Rebekah had texted for them to come to hers. _Of course_.

He turned to his sister, red hot anger blazing through him, “you knew!” he exclaimed, though he sounded calm. “Of course you did. That’s what you wanted to tell us, wasn’t it?” he asked, though it was more of a rhetorical question, the answer being obvious. “Tell me sister, did you even think to give me a warning considering that today is one of the worst days of the year? So, that I might have had time to prepare at least,” he shook his head in disappointment.

“Well, if you’d arrived on time like I asked, I would have told you!” Rebekah snapped, and he could see she was on the verge of tears.

He rolled his eyes, “I’m a surgeon, Rebekah, what did you expect? I only got out of surgery at 1930,” he snapped calmly, though there was a slight inflection in his voice. “The appropriate time to give us a heads up would have been in your ominous text this afternoon. Instead of telling us you had to tell us something, you should have just told us what that something was!” He couldn’t quite control his anger, so he sounded harsher than he’d intended. Hayley flashed him a concerned look.

“Easy, Elijah,” she muttered quietly, but he ignored her.

“Since you seem so concerned with what date today is, and how hard it would be for me, you should have given me more of a heads up!” he added harshly. “Even more than just fifteen minutes to prepare. A text would have sufficed,” he added in a calmer tone.

“Well, of course I thought of you!” Rebekah exclaimed, an edge of hurt in her voice, her blue eyes glassy with tears. “I only thought of you. That’s why I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want this to be the only thing on your mind today,” she explained, moving from where she had been leaning against the kitchen island to stand closer to him. She sighed, and crossed her arms, “I knew how hard today would be for you, so I wanted it to just be about Jonathan. I didn’t want you to have to think about our parents’ dreaded impromptu visit. So, I didn’t tell you and hoped that fifteen minutes would be enough time, but you and Hayley got here late and our dear parents got here slightly earlier. I’m sorry, Elijah. I know I don’t always get it right, but I really was trying,” she admitted in near-tears.

His expression softened, and he sighed, his shoulders slumping, “oh,” he muttered. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to be so harsh,” he told her. “And, I appreciate you trying to make it easier,” he added. Rebekah immediately reached for him and threw her arms around him, and he returned the hug, holding her tightly for a few seconds before releasing her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Really. Thank you,” he added quietly.

“Well, now that that’s settled and Elijah’s had his temper tantrum,” his father started, and Elijah flinched, but glared at him, “we can sit down and eat.”

“Temper tantrum? Really?” Hayley snapped, glaring at Mikael.

“Well, forgive him, love,” Niklaus cut in and Elijah gave him a look. “Mikael was always busy when we were kids, he probably forgot what a temper tantrum looks like,” he quipped sarcastically. Freya and Rebekah both snorted, and even Camille had to try hard to hide her amused laugh.

“Well, Mikael, how should Elijah have reacted to you deciding to visit on Jonathan’s birthday?” Hayley continued, ignoring his brother, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“Oh, please, stop,” Mikael immediately said, rolling his eyes. “It’s not my fault Elijah can’t get over himself. Let’s just eat,” he said, moving in the direction of the table. But, then, he stopped, “and, Elijah stop letting your girlfriend fight your battles. Act like a man. If you have an issue, say so, don’t just stand there,” he told him.

Elijah saw red and curled his fists, trying to keep from punching his father. He really didn’t want to break his hand again, and even if he didn’t, this wouldn’t end well. He clicked his tongue, and cleared his throat, “I’d appreciate you treating Hayley with a little more respect, Father,” he practically hissed, disgust obvious in his tone. “And, she’s not fighting my battles. She’s speaking her mind and I don’t intend to stop her since I am her boyfriend, not her keeper,” he said coldly.

“Suit yourself,” his father said gruffly, “let’s just sit down and eat.”

Hayley moved closer to him, and whispered quietly, “I’ll go say bye to Hope.” He nodded.

“Oh, we’re not staying,” he said calmly. He turned to Rebekah, “Rebekah this all looks delicious, and believe me, it has nothing to do with you, but we’re just going to go,” he told her, and her face fell.

“Really, Elijah? Oh, come on, just stay and have a bite,” his mother started to say, disappointment obvious in her voice and on her face.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Elijah!” Mikael exclaimed, annoyed.

“Mother, Father, leave him be,” Niklaus interjected quietly, a somber expression on his face. “Brother, we’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Elijah nodded.

“This doesn’t concern you, Niklaus,” Mikael hissed angrily.

Elijah curled his fists, “enough!” he snapped, and everyone stopped talking, the room becoming silent at once. “Three months ago I fell off the wagon,” he admitted, and the look of disappointment on his parents’ faces wasn’t lost on him. “I am sober now. One hundred days, to be exact. And, I’m not about to have another relapse, so I’m going to leave before this dinner gets to the dinner part,” he informed. Both his parents opened their mouths to say something, but he didn’t let them, “don’t even… I do not trust myself to be in the same room with the two of you for that long and not end up relapsing. So, I am going to go,” he told him, his tone final.

His mother looked at the floor, then moved towards the table, but his father didn’t let up. Mikael rolled his eyes, “pathetic… is the temptation too strong, Elijah?” he remarked cynically.

Elijah stiffened, and curled his fists, “you’re one to talk,” he remarked drily.

Mikael’s eyes widened slightly, “what is that supposed to mean?” he demanded.

Elijah sighed, “you may be better at hiding it than I am, Father, but I’m not an idiot. Nobody knows the signs better than me, after all,” he said with finality. [He knew what he was implying. After falling off the wagon for a second time, he’d remembered many instances throughout his childhood of his father drinking excessively and being a mean, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive drunk. Even know, the more Mikael tended to drink at gatherings, the more of an asshole he became. But, he never stopped drinking. And, Elijah knew his father didn’t see it as a problem, and it certainly didn’t affect him or keep him from doing his day-to-day activities. He’d ignored the signs before, but know they were more obvious].

But, Mikael said nothing, just glared at Elijah and went to sit down, completely ignoring what Elijah had said. It was in that moment that Elijah noticed that at some point Hope and Henrik had come out into the living, and while Hope was taking to Hayley, Henrik was looking down glumly as he waited for her. Elijah flashed him a small smile.

“You’re leaving?” Henrik asked, and Elijah could hear the hurt, and slight anger in his voice, and he wondered how he had missed all of this before.

“Yeah,” he said, and Henrik’s face fell. “I-” he stopped himself. He knew that his family, at least his siblings, understood why he couldn’t be here, especially tonight. But, then he saw the look on his little brother’s face. And, he remembered how happy and pleasantly surprised Henrik had been when he’d shown a little affection towards him, when he’d been the first to say hello. _How had he not realized it before? Had he really been so wrapped up in his own pain he hadn’t realized that his little brother had been missing him, that he’d been hurt by his actions, by his coldness?_ Elijah had to admit, it was kind of funny that it was _Hope_ who opened his eyes as to why he was doing this and the fact that he was doing it. In a way, he’d known from the moment he came back, from the first time he saw Henrik since he’d been back that Henrik was a painful reminder of his loss. Because at 12, Henrik reminded him that Jonathan would never grow up to be 12, that he was gone. But, now he knew that it was more than that. Henrik quite literally reminded Elijah of Jonathan because of his looks. Jonathan had often been referred to Elijah’s carbon copy except for his hair being curly. And, of all his siblings it was Henrik who resembled him the most. In Henrik Elijah didn’t just see his little brother. He also saw the son he had loved and lost. So, he had pushed Henrik away, or pulled away from Henrik, at this point he wasn’t sure, to protect himself, so that he wouldn’t be reminded of his loss, so that he wouldn’t have to feel it. But, that had been selfish on him and it had hurt Henrik. And, Elijah hated that he’d done that. He sighed, “actually, I believe we’re staying,” he said, and Hayley’s gaze immediately snapped over to him.

“What?” she asked, her eyes wide with shock, surprise obvious in her voice. He shrugged. She gave him a pointed look, then inclined her head towards Rebekah’s home office, obviously gesturing for him to join her there. Henrik’s gaze flickered curiously between the two of them, and Elijah could see that the poor kid was pretty much fighting himself on whether to be happy or not about what he’d said. In the end, he seemed to decide on focusing on his phone. Elijah sighed, and followed his girlfriend to his sister’s office, and shut the door behind him. His gaze flickered to her, confused, and he rested his hands on his hips while Hayley crossed arms over her chest.

“Are you- are you mad at me?” he wondered incredulously. “Because it seems like you are and I’m not sure why,” he said, but his girlfriend stayed silent, her lips pursed. “Hayley,” he drawled, but she merely peered at him beneath long lashes and cleared her throat. “Hayley, please say something,” he said softly, but she didn’t say anything. “Because honestly- because, well, right now I feel like a kid who just got called to the principal’s office,” he admitted, though his tone was teasing.

Hayley gave him an incredulous look, “funny,” she quipped drily. She took a deep breath and released it, as if calming herself while Elijah continued to stare at her, trying to figure out what was going on.

Elijah rolled his eyes, “okay, you’re just going to stand there now and give me the silent treatment? I don’t even understand why you’re mad and your response is sarcasm. Really, Hayley?” he snapped, though he kept his tone calm.

Hayley shook her head and said something inaudible.

“What did you say? You’re going to have to say it louder, Hayley,” he told her, sighing heavily in exasperation. 

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I’m not mad,” she finally said, and he blinked in shock. “I’m not mad, okay?” she repeated, more loudly this time.

“You’re not?”

She shook her head, and stepped closer to him, her hands dropping to her sides, “no, I’m not. Of course I’m not. I’m sorry. I was just- I was just trying to figure out what to say… what you were thinking… why you would change your mind so suddenly…” she trailed off, and lifted her eyes to look at him. He couldn’t help but let out a half-chuckle.

“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” he muttered sarcastically. “And, as to what I was thinking, well, I was just- I mean, Henrik was right there and I remembered what Hope said to me in the hospital and just everything, and it occurred to me that I-” he rambled, but she cut him off.

“Is this about Henrik?” she asked, staring at him incredulously.

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. He nodded timidly, averting his gaze.

“Oh,” Hayley muttered, letting out a soft sigh herself. “Oh, Elijah,” she repeated as she reached to cup his cheek, her thumb rubbing it gently. He lifted his own eyes to meet her gaze.

“I just- I stood there and I saw how disappointed he looked, how hurt he looked when he figured out we were leaving. And, I realized that I was the one who did that, that it was my fault. That I- I hurt him, Hayley,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion, and he felt tears prickle at his eyes. He shook his head, “oh, sure, he reminded me of Jonathan and I was doing it because I was scared of losing him. But, really I did it for selfish reasons. I just didn’t want another reminder of my loss, of Jonathan, so I kept my little brother at arms’ length, was so cold to him just so I didn’t have to be reminded, just so I would be spared some pain. I was selfish,” he said.

Hayley’s expression softened, “oh, Elijah,” she muttered. “It’s not selfish,” she told him, but he gave her a look. “Well, we’re all a little selfish sometimes,” she quipped. “Elijah, I know you think this is selfish, but it’s not that black and white. I know how much pain you’re in, I know how much you’re hurting and I don’t think it’s selfish to try to spare yourself that pain. Stop punishing yourself for your grief, Elijah. Grief isn’t easy. It’s hard and painful, and it takes as long as it takes. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she said, her own voice filled with emotion.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, not sure what to say, “thank you.” He licked his lips, “do you mind if we stay?”

Hayley shook her head, “of course I don’t _mind_ , baby. I mean, I’m not a fan of your parents, but I’m not the only one. But, this isn’t about me Elijah,” she told him. “Look, I know you feel like this is your fault, but,” she paused, “are you sure? I know you want to fix things with him, but are you sure that _today_ is the best time to start trying?”

Elijah stared at her for a long moment, “it’s as good day as any,” he shrugged. Hayley quirked an eyebrow skeptically. “I mean, I won’t lie to you, it is hard being around him… being around everyone today, in particular my parents. But, I don’t want to miss out on something. I don’t want to put this off. He’s my little brother, and yeah he’s twelve and we’ve mostly shielded him from my issues, but he’s not stupid. He probably knows something is up, and he’s realized my attitude the past few months. And, he’s hurt and he doesn’t deserve it. So, I need to fix things with him and I might as well start today,” he told her firmly. “Besides, if you’re here, I can do anything,” he added, and her lips curled into a small smile.

“Okay. Like I said, this is your choice. I just wanted to make sure,” she told him.

He nodded, “thank you, Hayley.” And then, he cupped the back of her neck, his fingers sinking in her hair, and leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and brushed his lips against hers. Hayley immediately responded, deepening the kiss, her arms winding around his neck, pulling him to her. It was a lingering sort of kiss, soft and slow, all comfort and reassurance. After a few more seconds, Elijah pulled away and rested his forehead against Hayley’s, both of them panting slightly. Hayley rubbed her nose against his, and he smiled.

“We should probably go, or Rebekah’s going to start wondering just what have we been doing here,” Hayley whispered hoarsely against his lips.

He chuckled, “Niklaus, too. Those two are impossible sometimes,” he told her. “You’re right, we should go,” he added, and pulled away from her. And then, he took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers and the two of them stepped out. Everyone was sitting down at the table, and there was room for two more.

“Hope you have two more spots, Rebekah,” Elijah announced once he and Hayley were in view.

Rebekah tried to contain her grin, “are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Great,” she beamed. “Have a seat.”

“Are you staying, mom?” Hope wondered from where she sat between her father and one of the empty spots.

“We are,” Elijah confirmed as he pulled the chair for Hayley next to Hope. Hope grinned, and Henrik’s face lit up, his lips stretching into a smile and Elijah’s heart swelled. Hayley flashed him a fond smile.

* * *

They’d only just sat down, and Hayley was pretty sure you could cut through the tense atmosphere with a knife. She could use a drink, but neither she nor the rest of the Mikaelsons, except Mikael and Esther, were drinking at family gatherings since Elijah’s relapse. Though, she might have to organize a girls’ night with Rebekah, Freya and Cami to drink after this.

Just as he sat down, Mikael cleared his throat. Hayley glanced at Elijah nervously, then at Rebekah. _Now what?_ She resisted the urge to roll her eyes in exasperation, and instead helped herself to some guacamole. Mikael cleared his throat again, and this time all attention focused on him. “Rebekah, be a dear and get us some wine,” he requested, his voice gruff. Everyone except Hope and Henrik who seemed to not notice, looked over at Elijah, perplexed. Elijah, for his part, ducked his head, averting his gaze. And, Hayley desperately wanted to punch the Mikaelson patriarch. _Was he really that much of an insensitive dick?_ The answer was, sadly, yes.

Rebekah blinked, and cleared her throat, then plastered a pleasant smile, “there isn’t any tonight, Father,” she told him firmly, not even missing a beat. And, before Mikael could ask why, she added, “it’s not such a good idea _tonight_ , alright?” And, she flashed Mikael a pointed look that Hayley imagined made her opponents in court sweat. Alas, Mikael didn’t. No, Mikael, in true Mikael Mikaelson fashion, opened his mouth, some snarky, cruel comment on the tip of his tongue, but Hayley beat him to it.

“I suggest you don’t even bother to say anything, because if you do, it will be the last thing you do,” she told him, narrowing her eye at him, daring him to say something. She was not going to let him ruin this, not when Elijah had decided to stay for Henrik when Hayley very well knew that all he wanted to do was go home and cry over Jonathan’s memory box. She squeezed his hand in reassurance, and he squeezed it back, flashing her a grateful smile.

It was Marcel who spoke up next, changing the subject, “so, Mikael, Esther, why exactly did you two decide to come here on such short notice and come to our place for dinner?” he asked, flashing them both a smile. Hayley smirked. But, Mikael and Esther didn’t get to answer because in that moment the doorbell rang. Rebekah stood up quickly and went to answer the door. And, minutes later she reentered, followed by Kol. Hope stood up quickly from the table and rushed to give her uncle a hug, and Hayley smiled fondly as Kol picked her up before walking over to the table and setting her down beside Klaus. He reached across to Henrik and ruffled his hair, causing the teenager to squirm away.

“Hey there, little brother,” Kol said by way of greeting.

“Hey, Kol,” Henrik greeted him, and grinned. The two did a weird handshake ritual that Hayley noticed Elijah avoided looking at before Kol once again turned to the rest of them.

“So, what have I missed?” Kol asked, smirking. “Or, have you lot had fun without me?” he added in a snarky tone. Hayley snorted, and Rebekah and Klaus looked amused, too. Then, Kol’s attention turned to his parents. “What are you two doing here? What’s this dinner going to end with? Thinly veiled insults and storming out on our part, or getting kicked out on _your_ part?” he asked, looking right at Mikael and Esther.

“We were wondering the same thing,” Klaus chimed in, smirking, his expression a mix between amusement and irritation. “Thank you for joining us, brother. Perhaps now that you’re here and the dinner party is complete, our parents can finally enlighten us as to the purpose of their most convenient and well-intended visit,” Klaus remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Excuse me, I meant their most _in_ convenient and absolutely _insensitive_ visit considering what day it is,” he added, glaring at the two.

Esther merely pursed her lips, her gaze flickering between all her children while Mikael grumbled something inaudible, then at his wife’s pointed look, he rolled his eyes, “oh, don’t be dramatic, Niklaus,” he snapped gruffly.

Esther cut in, a wide, pleasant smile that Hayley thought was too fake, plastered on her face, “and, to answer your questions, we’re here because we’re going on a trip and our flight is from New Orleans,” she announced. Mikael flashed her a pointed look, and she rolled her eyes at him before focusing back on the rest of them. “And, on that note, well, your Father and I, we were wondering if one of you would take Henrik for the weekend,” she finally said.

Hayley coughed as she looked around at the Mikaelson siblings. Freya, who until now had seemed pretty uninterested in the general conversation, straightened herself. Kol and Klaus both stared at the two Mikaelson parents, their eyes widened almost comically. Rebekah almost choked on her food, and Freya and Marcel both reached across to pound her lightly on the back. Hayley exchanged an amused look with Cami.

“Are you mad? Have you lost your bloody mind?” Rebekah demanded, and Hayley noticed Henrik looked down, his expression glum. The blonde seemed to notice, too, because she continued. “Not that we don’t love Henrik and we would love to take him, but you can’t just spring this on us! We have jobs and things to do and you can’t just drop Henrik on our doorstep and then run off on whatever stupid business trip you have-” Rebekah was interrupted by Elijah clearing his throat, but she ignored him, “-with no bloody warning whatsoever!” Hayley flashed her a pointed look, and the blonde sighed. “Like I said nothing against Henrik, but you could at least have the respect to call to warn us!” she added and scoffed. “Oh, wait you have no respect for any of us considering just what date you chose for your impromptu visit, Mother,” she hissed, glaring at Esther.

It was Elijah who finally managed to speak up, his booming voice interrupting Rebekah’s tirade with a simply, “Rebekah, enough!” Everyone fell silent, and Hayley had to admit it kind of turned her on. Elijah rarely his authoritative voice, rarely displayed much of an authority outside of the O.R., at least from what she’d seen. She knew he had it in him, she’d just not seen it around his family. So, it was kind of hot. “Please,” he added in a calmer tone. “I will take Henrik.”

Hayley’s gaze snapped over to Elijah, her eyes wide with shock. Everyone else, too, stared at Elijah, their expressions ranging from shock to a little bit of pride in Klaus’ case. And, Henrik lit up for the first time since dinner had started, looking completely overjoyed.

“Are you sure?” Rebekah asked Elijah, looking a bit perplexed. “I can easily take him, I’ve got the room,” she added.

“Or, I can,” Kol shrugged.

“Yeah, I, uh, I’ve got room, too,” Freya chimed in.

But, Elijah shook his head, “I’m quite certain, but thank you, Rebekah. The sofa in the study extends, and it will be fine. I’ll remind you of the amount of times I used to babysit you and Niklaus,” he said, smirking slightly.

“Well, but-” the blonde interjected, but he cut her off.

“I’ll be fine, Rebekah, really. I’m a grown man, I believe I can handle a teenager for a weekend,” he said, flashing Henrik a half-smile. Henrik just grinned.

“Well, that’s settled,” Esther said, smiling. “Let’s eat.”

As everyone focused on their food, Hayley turned towards Elijah and rested her forehead against his cheek so her lips were above his ear, shielding them with her hair. With her free hand, she reached for his, lacing their fingers together, and squeezed it gently.

“Are you sure?” she whispered quietly so no one would hear. She felt Elijah nod. “Really sure?” He nodded again. “Okay,” she whispered. And then, she pulled away only to press a soft kiss to his cheek. She turned her attention back to the table, and noticed Cami wink at her, but Rebekah and Esther were once again getting into it.

“Oh, for God’s sake Rebekah, stop being so dramatic!” Mikael snapped. “It’s just another day!”

Hayley really, really wanted to smack him, but Elijah’s grip on her hand tightened and she could see he was holding himself so tightly to keep from snapping at his father.

“Are you for real? Is your memory that bloody selective or are you just bloody insensitive?” Rebekah demanded, staring at her parents, her eyes wide. Mikael just shrugged.

Elijah just sighed, “leave it, Rebekah. Our parents obviously wish to pretend today is just like any other day. Perhaps for them it is,” he said, shrugging, and his shoulders slumped. Hayley felt her stomach twist. It was like Elijah was just giving up, like he just didn’t want to fight his parents on this anymore.

“Mommy?” Hope asked, and Hayley glanced over at her. Her daughter was looking at her, her blue eyes wide. “What day _is_ it today?” she asked innocently.

But, before Hayley could answer or try to divert her daughter’s attention, her pager beeped loudly. _Hallelujah,_ she thought as she reached for it. “Oh, shit,” she muttered, and stood up. She needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Elijah stood along with her.

“Hayley, do you need to go?” he asked her. “I’ll drive you.” Turning to Henrik, he added, “I’ll come pick you up, later, okay?”

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly. “Bye, everyone. Henrik, I’ll probably see you tomorrow. Esther, Mikael, I would say it was a pleasure, but that would be a lie,” she said as she grabbed her jacket and left the apartment, Elijah following her close behind. The two of them took the elevator downstairs, and Elijah unlocked his car, both of them jumping in.

“What is it?” he asked her as he pulled out of the parking lot, his eyes focused on the road.

“Patient,” she muttered as she ran over her mental checklist of the patient.

Somehow, Elijah made it to St. John’s, but before she jumped out, she turned to him. “This won’t take long if I make it, would you meet me on the rooftop, though, after? In fifteen minutes? Twenty tops,” she asked him, holding his gaze intently.

“Are you sure? I was going to go pick up Henrik,” he said, but she nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I have something I need to show you and it can’t wait. So, rooftop twenty tops?”

“Okay.”

* * *

Elijah wasn’t sure what exactly Hayley wanted to show him, so he went to his office for a bit, and took care of a bit of paperwork, straightening his desk out before he left to meet Hayley with five minutes to spare. He opened the room to the rooftop and he saw her, and the sight of her took his breath away. It was dark on the rooftop, the only light coming from a few fairy lights strung out over the edge, though they didn’t illuminate the place enough, but it was enough for Elijah to see her. She was standing there, wearing a white coat over the clothes she’d worn at dinner, her dark hair cascading down. At the sound of the door closing behind him, she turned around, and as soon as she did, Elijah froze. Hayley’s face was illuminated by candlelight coming from a small number 7 candle on top of a blue-colored cupcake.

Elijah’s eyes with tears and he gasped for air, “wh- what is this?” he managed to ask, his voice thick with emotion.

Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat and she bit her lip, and he noticed her own eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “Oh. I- I, uh, well, I wasn’t sure, but I- I wanted to,” she paused her rambling, which Elijah found adorable, and their gazes met. Elijah tried to smile at her reassuringly, but couldn’t quite do it. “I just- I thought we- you… maybe you would want to honor Jonathan, so I got him this cupcake and a candle, but-” This time it was he who cut her off, coming closer to her and reaching to cup her cheek.

“Hayley, please,” he muttered softly. “This is… I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, and took a shaky breath, staring back into Hayley’s hazel eyes. “Thank you,” he finally said breathlessly. And then, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, pressing a gentle kiss. Hayley deepened it, her free hand moving to wrap around his neck while she still held the cupcake in the other one. It was a gentle, comforting kiss, their lips moving slowly against each other, tongues tangling loosely together. But then, Hayley pulled away and held the cupcake up, the flame of the candle still flickering slightly. She used her hand to form a shield so the wind wouldn’t blow it away. Elijah felt tears prickle at his eyes, threatening to fall as he rested one hand on the railing while Hayley stood there, holding the cupcake with both her hands.

“Um,” she bit her lip nervously, “make a wish? Or, a hope I guess… I don’t know,” she shrugged nervously, but Elijah’s heart swelled, touched by her gesture.

He smiled softly, and closed his eyes. _I hope you forgive me, son, wherever you are. I am so sorry about everything. And, I hope you’re okay. I hope you know how much I love you,_ he said in his head, then he blew the candle. When he opened his eyes, Hayley smiled at him tearfully. She broke the cupcake in half and he found it was a red velvet cupcake. They ate them in silence, but once they were done and it was just the two of them on the rooftop and there was nothing else, Elijah took another shaky breath. This time, though, tears spilled over his cheeks. He couldn’t take it anymore, and he braced himself on the railing. Immediately, Hayley closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into her arms, tucking her chin over his shoulder. For a moment, he stood still, motionless, only the tears falling down his face.

“I am so sorry, Elijah,” Hayley said softly. “I am so sorry. I know you miss him, I’m so sorry,” she repeated, her voice a breathless whisper.

“I miss him so much,” he finally admitted, his voice breaking. “I miss him so much it hurts and I feel like- I miss him,” he repeated, and choked back a sob. “I can’t- I can’t do this… it hurts to breathe without him and I miss him so much,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion. And then, his knees buckled and he crumpled to the ground, except, Hayley held onto him, her arms wrapped tightly around him. And, finally, he hugged her back, wrapping his own arms around her and buried his face in her hair, letting out a gut wrenching sob as he clung to her. “I miss him so much,” he repeated several times, like a mantra, over and over, blubbering against Hayley’s neck. But, Hayley didn’t say anything and just held him as he fell apart, her arms wrapped tightly around him, all strong and comforting, holding him as he broke down, tears streaming down his face, his pained sobs filling the air. Finally, after several minutes, he calmed down and pulled away from his girlfriend. He noticed that her cheeks were tearstained, too. He wiped his face and Hayley did, too, and then she cupped his cheeks with both her hands, wiping a few more tears with her thumbs.

She seemed to hesitate, as if she wasn’t sure what to say, “you okay?” she asked him.

His lip quivered, “no, not really,” he admitted. “I just- he should be here, Hayley. He should be here,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion, almost breaking. “He should be here, we should be celebrating his seventh birthday, but he’s not. He’s not and I just- I feel lost,” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion, and he felt tears prickle at his eyes once more.

Hayley just stroked his cheek, “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to tell you to make it okay, Elijah. I know that nothing can really fix this. But, I’m here and I’m not leaving you,” she paused, and looked back at him, “I- I hope that’s enough.”

Elijah’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed, “it is. It’s more than enough, Hayley. You are more than enough. You are _everything_ ,” he told her, and a fond smile stretched on her lips. Their lips met halfway then, crashing against each other, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss, her hands drifting to rest at the back of his neck. Her lips were salty from tears, and he was sure so were his, but neither of them really cared. The kiss was slow and soft, filled with comfort and reassurance in a way words could not be. Their tongues tangled together, lips molded with each other, gentle but urging. And then, Hayley’s pager beeped loudly, and she drew away from him.

“My pager has amazing timing,” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “It’s an incoming.”

“Well, I would say the timing was quite impeccable when it interrupted dinner,” he remarked drily.

“Hmm, you’re right,” she muttered. “Well, I better go.”

“I should go, too. I have to pick up Henrik.”

“Elijah,” she said slowly, reaching to cup his cheek once more. “Are you sure about the Henrik thing? Like I said, I know you want to fix things, but is today the day?” she asked him, and he could hear the concern in her voice.

He nodded, “yeah, I- it will be fine. You saw the look on his face when I suggested it,” he shrugged. 

“Yeah, but-”

“It will be fine, Hayley. I’m not that fragile, and I pretty much raised Niklaus, Rebekah and Kol. I can handle Henrik for a weekend,” he told her more firmly.

“Okay. We can have dinner then tomorrow,” she said, smiling softly.

He nodded, “sounds like a plan.”

She chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she whispered against his lips.

“I-” he cut himself off. _I love you_ , he wanted to say, the words almost slipping out easily, but would she want to hear them? _After I broke down in her arms and she saw how broken and damaged I was? No, she probably wouldn’t. It would be too much._ He shook his head and forced a half-smile, “thank you, Hayley. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said instead. And then, he tilted his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Hayley’s pager beeped again. She flashed him another smile before she ran out. And, Elijah took another look around and left, too.

* * *

The drive from Rebekah’s to his place had been awkward, neither of them saying anything. Despite wanting to fix things with Henrik, Elijah didn’t really know how, or where even to start. So, he focused on the road while Henrik put on his Beats and listened to music. Elijah parked and grabbed Henrik’s duffel bag while Henrik swung his backpack over his shoulder and the two of them made their way to Elijah’s loft. Elijah opened the door, and gestured for Henrik to enter before closing the door behind them and locking it. Henrik looked around, and Elijah couldn’t help but be nervous. _Would he like it? Would he be comfortable?_ He couldn’t help but ask himself these questions as he and Henrik both took off their shoes, or kicked them off in Henrik’s case and hung their coats on the rack.

“Sorry, it’s not exactly as cozy as Rebekah’s, but I hope you’ll be comfortable,” he said anxiously.

Henrik, maybe sensing his nervousness, or out of politeness, smiled, “I think it’s great.”

Elijah’s lips stretched into a half-smile. “So, I’ve got a couch in the study that extends, and I’ll get you some sheets and stuff. Do you, uh, do you want anything?”

Henrik shook his head, “nah, I’m good. I ate at Bekah’s,” he said, shrugging.

“Okay, c’mon, I’ll show you the study. Bathroom is downstairs, though,” he said, and gestured to the bathroom door.

“Cool, thanks,” Henrik said, and followed him upstairs. Elijah led him past his own bedroom, and to the other room, which was the study. He opened the door and gestured for Henrik to enter.

“Here it is,” he said, opening the door to his study/home office. It was a simple room with a mahogany desk and chair and a couch that Hayley had apparently added a few cushions and a throw blanket to. “I’ve got Wi-Fi and everything,” he added with a chuckle. “I’ll make you the bed while you shower if you want?” he suggested.

“Sure, thanks,” Henrik said and grabbed his bag, opening it and grabbing a few things from it. “Downstairs, right?”

“Yeah, I have some shower gel in there as well,” he said, and Henrik nodded, holding up his own bag of toiletries.

“Thanks, I got it,” he said and left the room.

Elijah went back to his bedroom and grabbed some sheets from the closet before returning to the study and pulling out the couch, putting the cushions and soft woolen blanket Hayley had apparently bought specifically for this room on the chair behind the desk. He took out the pillow and comforter and put them into the linen and put the shits onto the now extended couch. By the time he was done, Henrik returned, wearing a pair of pajamas.

“Here we are,” he said.

“Thanks Elijah,” Henrik said, grabbing a few comics from his backpack and his phone and headphones. Elijah moved in the direction of the door, but hesitated and stopped. “Uh, you don’t have to tuck me in, you know,” Henrik told him. “I’m twelve.”

“Yeah, I know. I just- do you need anything else?”

“No, I’m good,” the teenager shook his head as he got into bed, propping himself up on the two pillows and grabbed his comic books.

“Okay, well, err, don’t stay up too late,” he said, fumbling for words to say.

Henrik just chuckled, “night, Elijah.”

“Goodnight,” he said and left, closing the door behind him before making his way to his bedroom.

After showering, Elijah went and grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen before returning to his bedroom. He sighed as he closed the door behind him and glanced at his watch. It was 1120. The day was almost over. With a heavy sigh, Elijah went to his closet and grabbed the memory box from where he’d last stashed it on a shelf, and went back to his bed, sitting down, the memory box on his lap. He took a deep breath, and opened it, and his eyes filled with tears. At the top was the pile of photographs, carefully arranged. Slowly, he flipped through them. The first few were the black and white photographs when Jonathan had just been born. The close up of Elijah’s hand, Jonathan’s hand curled around his finger. It had been taken not long after Jonathan had been born.

_Katherine was asleep after the long labor and Elijah held his son in his arms, sitting in the rocking chair. Jonathan Christopher Mikaelson. Little J. Despite being a few hours old, he had a firm grip, and his tiny fingers were now curled around Elijah’s finger._

_“Oh, he’s adorable!” Rebekah cooed as she held a camera in her hands and snapped a photo._

_“I didn’t- I didn’t know you could love someone so much,” Elijah muttered and pressed a kiss to his son’s face. His son. The little boy was already everything to him. He heard Rebekah snap a few pictures, but he didn’t mind. The baby cooed and whimpered, and Elijah rocked him gently. “Shh,” he whispered._

_“Oh, let Auntie Bex have some time, too,” Rebekah said, putting the camera back in its bag and sanitizing her hands. She held her hands out to him, and gently Elijah handed the baby over to her, settling him in her arms. Rebekah’s eyes were shining with tears. “Hi, there, precious,” she whispered._

Elijah blinked the memory back and a few tears spilled down his cheeks. He flipped to the next one. Another one taken that same day, a closeup of Jonathan in Elijah’s arms, his left hand hiding part of him, but you could still see a pair of tiny, but beautiful eyes, what little hair he still had a little curled, and that adorable baby pout. And, again, the baby had his tiny hand curled around his finger, this time the index one. Elijah choked back a sob, and a tear spilled from his eye onto the photograph as he traced Jonathan’s tiny hand.

_“He’s going to hate that name. How did you two even come up with it?” Klaus asked as he sat on the couch. Rebekah snapped another photo._

_“Says the guy whose parents named him Niklaus,” Katherine remarked drily. “At least there’s nicknames for Jonathan. I like Jon. Or, J. JC.,” she said, looking fondly over at them, her wavy hair pulled in a bun on top of her head._

_Elijah chuckled, “well, this one seemed right. And, kind of fitting,” he said with a shrug. “Want to hold him, Niklaus?”_

_“Oh, I, um,” his brother stammered, but Elijah was already standing._

_“Don’t worry, you won’t break him,” he said softly as he settled the sleeping infant in his brother’s arms. “Just move your hand here to support his head,” he said, moving his brother’s hand so that Jonathan’s head was nestled in the crook of his arm. “There we go.”_

_“Oh, he’s all you, Elijah,” Klaus remarked with a smirk._

_Elijah just smiled, and went over to sit next to his wife, pressing a kiss to her temple._

_“His hair’s curly like Katerina’s, though,” he said._

_Katherine glanced at him, and smiled fondly, “well, you can’t have everything,” she quipped._

_Elijah just smirked. “Don’t worry, the next one will look more like you,” he told her, and kissed her, this time on the lips._

Elijah shook his head as more tears streamed down his cheeks, and his chest constricted painfully. He flipped through more of the photos. Another one of Elijah holding Jonathan, but this time you could see both of them. He cradling the baby close to his face, his cheek resting against his son’s face, and Jonathan was wearing the blue onesie and knitted hat, his feet clad in the white socks and booties. Rebekah had bought the baby booties for the sole purpose of taking photos with them. The next one was of nine-month-old Jonathan, taken outside in a field. He was holding nine-month-old Jonathan in his arms, hoisting him up, and Jonathan was laughing in that adorable childlike way, and he was laughing too. From memory, he recalled Katherine being the one to take the photographs. Then, there was another one of baby Jonathan, maybe around six months old in Elijah and Katherine’s bed back at their apartment in New York. Both of them were asleep, Elijah’s arms wrapped protectively around his son, his face buried in Jonathan’s hair, his nose pressed against the back of the infant’s head. More tears spilled over Elijah’s cheeks, and he let out a sob, but flipped to the next one. This was of a slightly older Jonathan, probably between 1 and 2 years, though closer to two because it was taken sometime in the summer. The two of them were outside in a park, Jonathan wearing a dinosaur-themed t-shirt and cap. He was perched on Elijah’s shoulders, laughing, his expression one of pure delight. Elijah was smiling, too. More tears streamed down his face and he let out another sob, bowing his head. Elijah flipped through the next few photographs. Him and Jonathan at the zoo. Jonathan riding a donkey, Elijah holding him from one side. He remembered how his son had whined and pouted for Elijah to let him do it, and he’d finally given in on the condition that he’d be there, too. The two of them at the aquarium. Playing with a soccer ball. Elijah reading to Jonathan. The two of them at the beach. None of the photographs he had included Katherine. Katherine had taken all the ones of her and Jonathan. And, the ones of the three of them were in another box, but one Elijah hadn’t touched since he and Katherine had put them there. The next four photographs were ones of Jonathan by himself, portrait-style ones taken around his birthday that they printed several copies of to mail to relatives, in particular Katherine’s relatives in Bulgaria. At 1, at 2, at 3, and lastly at 4. Then, there were a few family ones with his siblings taken with Rebekah’s polaroid camera that she’d given to him. Finally, he reached the last photograph from the pile. It was another one of Jonathan, though this time he seemed to be about four years old, on Elijah’s shoulders, holding onto Elijah’s hair, laughing with glee, a carefree expression on his face, and Elijah’s head was tilted up so he was looking at his son and smiling happily. That one had been taken at Jonathan’s fourth birthday party at the Mikaelson plantation house.

_“Elijah! Elijah!” Katherine yelled from the porch, her arms crossed over her chest. Elijah was playing with Jonathan and Rebekah had convinced him to let her take a few more photos of them. Elijah turned to face his wife._

_“Yes?”_

_“We’re cutting the cake! Bring J over here,” she said._

_Elijah sighed, exasperated, but moved Jonathan from his shoulders and into his arms, the child letting out a squeal before he and Rebekah joined the party. Katherine came out with the cake, a number 4 candle in the middle, and Rebekah pulled out the camera. Everyone crowded around them and began to sing._

_“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear J, happy birthday to you!” they sang and leaned forward._

_“C’mon, J, let’s blow the candle,” Elijah said, nudging his son closer._

_“C’mon, buddy!” Katherine encouraged. “Make a wish and blow the candle with daddy!”_

_“I wants a dino!” J said and everyone laughed and the two of them blew the candle to everyone’s cheers. [Jonathan had wished for a dinosaur last year, too]._

Elijah blinked, pushing the memory away, and let out another sob, his chest constricting painfully.

He set the photographs on the table and one by one took out the other things. The blue onesie, booties, socks and knitted hat they’d dressed J in when they brought him home from the hospital. The blue blanket they’d wrapped him in. The dinosaur pajamas. The stuffed dinosaur.

_“Daddy!” Jonathan squealed and threw himself at him and Elijah caught him, scooping him up in his arms. “Mommy, daddy is home!” he yelled just as Katherine entered._

_“Hey there,” she said as she kissed him. “How was your trip?”_

_“Tiring. But, the patient is fine, so that’s important,” he told her. “Actually, J, I’ve got something for you,” he said, and with Jonathan in his arms, he went to his suitcase and grabbed the gift bag beside it. “I know you said you wanted a dinosaur for your birthday, so I got you one. Sorry, it’s not real, but real dinosaurs don’t exist anymore,” he said as he pulled out the stuffed toy dinosaur. Jonathan’s face lit up and he beamed._

_“I love it! Thank you, daddy!” he exclaimed, and hugged Elijah before taking the toy and hugging it, too. Katherine came over to them and reached for Jonathan._

_“Okay, buddy, let daddy unpack while you and I go set the table, yeah?” she said. Jonathan pouted, but let her take him into his arms, still holding onto the dinosaur and the two of them went into the kitchen while Elijah carried his things to the living room._

Elijah sniffled as he held the toy dinosaur in his hands, and brought it to his face.

“Forgive me, J. Forgive me, son,” he muttered. He repacked the memory box and set it down on the floor and collapsed into bed, his cheeks still tearstained. And, he let out another sob as he buried his face in the pillow, crying himself to sleep. 


	25. And, Maybe I Don't Quite Know What to Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking Henrik for the weekend may have been the first step, but Elijah doesn't know exactly how to fix things. But, after the awkwardness becomes too much, Elijah is forced to have a painful conversation and admit the hard, painful truth to his brother

Elijah woke up with a headache, his cheeks tearstained and still clutching the photo of him and Jonathan on Jonathan’s fourth birthday. His last. Yesterday he would have turned seven. With a groan, he got out of bed and noticed box on the floor next to his nightstand. He glanced at the bedside digital clock. It was 0600. On a Saturday. But, there was no way he was going to fall back asleep, so he might as well go for a run. He put the photograph back in the memory box and went to shower, letting the hot water seep into his skin, relaxing his tense muscles. Finally, he got out and after drying himself off, he put on his gym clothes and running shoes, grabbed his headphones and phone and slipped out quietly. He checked in on Henrik, who was fast asleep, the comic book, his headphones and phone beside him, and he quietly slipped in, picked them up and moved them to the table before slipping out.

He ran for a while, until his muscles ached and he was covered in sweat, but he’d managed not to think of anything, and his head was for once clear. According to his watch it was 0730 when he finally got back, and he immediately went to take a shower, letting the hot water seep into his exhausted muscles, staying under for longer than usual. Once the water turned cold, he got out, wrapping a towel around his hips and toweled off his hair. He returned to his bedroom and changed into clean jeans and a blue button up shirt, rolling up its sleeves before going downstairs. It was still early, his watch read 0815, so he decided to take care of some paperwork before getting started on breakfast, making himself a coffee so he could be a little more awake. As he waited for the machine to make his coffee, he checked his phone and found he had a text from Hayley, and he couldn’t help but smile fondly. _Hey, you. How was your night? I miss you,_ it read. He typed back a quick response before grabbing his coffee and going over to the kitchen island, firing his laptop up.

He finished working about an hour later, and decided to at least get started on breakfast, so he set about mixing the batter, whisking the ingredients together.

He’d just heated the griddle and was about to pour the first ladle of batter when he heard footsteps, and he glanced back to find Henrik walking into the kitchen and living room area. He’d apparently, showered, too, which Elijah hadn’t noticed.

“Morning,” the teenager said sleepily, wiping sleep from his eyes.

“Oh, hey, Henrik,” he said as he flipped the pancakes. An awkward silence settled between them as Elijah busied himself with the pancakes. He kicked himself. Was there really nothing he could say to his little brother? “How did you sleep?” he asked, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Fine,” Henrik shrugged. He hesitated, and Elijah felt a pang of guilt at the idea that Henrik didn’t know how to act around him, either. “You?”

He shrugged, “okay,” he said, though he knew it was a lie. He’d slept horribly since he had cried himself to sleep, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Henrik. So, he just busied himself with the pancakes while Henrik just stood there awkwardly.

Henrik hesitated before clearing his throat, “um, would you- d’you need- d’you want help setting the table?” he finally asked nervously.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he muttered all too quickly before he realized how that likely sounded. He sighed, and turned briefly towards Henrik who looked hurt, and Elijah kicked himself mentally for being the one to do that. “I’m sorry, Henrik, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his expression softening.

“It’s fine,” Henrik muttered.

“Plates are in that cupboard over there. And, forks are in the drawer,” he said kindly, gesturing to the cupboard with the hand not holding the spatula. Without a word, Henrik went to the cupboard in question and opened it, stretching on his tippy toes to reach two plates, but he grabbed them and pulled them out, setting them on the kitchen island. Then, he went and grabbed two forks as Elijah flipped the last few pancakes and added them to the pile of pancakes on the larger plate. Elijah cleared his throat as he set the large plate of pancakes on the table, “what do you prefer them with? I’ve got maple syrup, honey, jam… the only thing I can’t offer is bacon since I don’t normally eat it and haven’t done the grocery shopping yet,” he said, licking his lips nervously.

Henrik, seeming to sense his uncomfortableness, just shook his head and smiled, “maple syrup is just fine. Do you have blueberries by any chance?”

“Uh, yeah, actually,” he said and went over to the fridge, grabbing the container with blueberries and washed them before putting them in a bowl and bringing them to the table. He then went and grabbed the maple syrup while Henrik sat down. Just as he was about to sit down as well, something occurred to him, and he wanted to face palm. “So, what would you like to drink? I’ve got milk, or tea, if you want. Or, orange juice,” he said.

“Orange juice would be great,” Henrik said, and Elijah went and grabbed it from the fridge, pouring it down into two glasses and bringing them over to the table before sitting down.

“Bon appetite,” he said softly, but Henrik had already piled four pancakes and poured heaps of maple syrup, throwing some blueberries over them, and he tucked in.

He let out a moan, “mm, Elijah, this is delicious!” he said, smiling in delight.

Elijah chuckled nervously, “I’m glad you like them,” he said softly as he, too, poured some maple syrup over his own pancakes and ate a forkful. They ate in silence, neither of them saying anything. Elijah wanted to say something, but he had no idea what to say, or even where to start. Henrik was his brother, but right now Elijah felt like he was sitting with a stranger. And, he knew this was largely his fault. But, still, he didn’t say anything and just ate in silence, and tried not to let himself imagine having pancakes for breakfast with Jonathan in a few years if he lived, if him and Katherine found a way to divorce on friendly terms, and Elijah got Jonathan on weekends or something like that.

“Elijah?” Henrik asked, breaking the silence, and Elijah shook himself, forcing himself to return his attention to Henrik.

“Yeah?”

“Do you, um, do you have any plans? ‘Cause if you do, I honestly don’t mind staying here by myself,” he said nervously, and bit his lip. And, Elijah felt another pang of guilt and mentally kicked himself. “I mean, I know you have a life and other things to do and aren’t just here to babysit me. Honestly, I’m really sorry I’m imposing and being an inconvenience,” Henrik rambled nervously.

Elijah shook his head vehemently, “no, Henrik, no. Not at all. I don’t have any plans,” he told him. “Honestly, I was wondering if there was something you wanted to do today? If you want, we can go meet up with Niklaus and Hope,” he added nervously.

“That sounds great, actually,” Henrik grinned. Elijah smiled and stood up to wash his plate and empty glass. Henrik followed, but hesitated by the sink. “Um, do you- should I- do you need any help?” he wondered, his eyes flickering to Elijah’s nervously.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll do it. Why don’t you go get ready, and I’ll call Niklaus and see when he’s ready,” he said, brushing him off.

“Oh. Okay,” Henrik nodded, a little sadly, and turned to go back upstairs to the loft. Elijah just sighed, his shoulders slumping, and his hand shook, but luckily he didn’t drop anything. He finished washing, and dried his hands, then grabbed his phone and called his other brother.

“Hello, Niklaus,” he said by way of greeting.

“Elijah, hello,” his brother greeted him. “I- is everything okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good. I was just wondering if you wanted to meet up?” he wondered, and desperately hoped his brother would agree.

After some shuffling, Niklaus finally spoke. “Of course. How about we meet at that bakery in the Quarter in an hour? How does that sound?”

“Sounds good. I’ll let you know when I get there,” he told him, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” he added.

“Of course, no problem. We’ll see you soon,” Niklaus said, and Elijah nodded even though he couldn’t see him. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Elijah muttered. He fixed around a few things, then went back up to the loft to tell Henrik and get changed.

* * *

Henrik stared out the window as Elijah drove, wearing headphones and trying to think of anything else, but how awkward things between him and Elijah were. He’d been so happy when Elijah had volunteered to take him for the weekend and had been looking forward to hopefully becoming closer to his older brother. But, after how awkward breakfast had been, and even the night before when Elijah acted like he wanted to retreat back to his bedroom as soon as possible, he wondered if that was at all possible. Of course, he kind of understood why Elijah might have wanted to be alone the night before considering it was Jonathan’s birthday. _But then why did he agree to take him for the weekend? No, not just agree, but actually volunteer himself._ Henrik shook his head. _When had this become so freaking complicated?_

He got along with all of his siblings, though the huge age differences made it that he wasn’t extremely close to any of them. He was probably closest to Nik and Kol because they acted, as Rebekah would say, like overgrown children and often played videogames with him. Freya was so much older than him that sometimes people thought she was his mom if they saw them together, but they usually got along. Rebekah was the overbearing one, always mothering him even though she wasn’t _that_ much older than him, but he didn’t mind. And, Finn, well, Finn was just gone all the time and even when he visited he acted like Henrik was some kind of nuisance. If he was being honest, of all his siblings, he liked Finn the least. And then, there was Elijah. Henrik knew that when his older siblings were kids, Elijah had often acted like the father figure when their father wasn’t much of a father. And, before Jonathan died, when Henrik himself had only been almost 10, Elijah did his best to do the same with Henrik, too, even though he was away at Oxford, then New York, where he lived with Katherine. And, of all his siblings, Elijah was the one Henrik was the most similar to. Both in personality and in looks, and he’d always looked up to him. Henrik remembered how he used to be jealous when Jonathan was born and he was no longer the baby of the family and the center of everyone’s attention, especially Elijah’s. After Jonathan had died he’d felt guilty for ever feeling like that way. Not that he could talk to his parents about it. Father’s attitude towards loss was just to get over it and move on, and Mother wasn’t good at talking about feelings either. But, now after Elijah had gotten back to the army, Henrik felt like he didn’t even know him. They’d seen each other four times now, and until the night before had barely exchanged a “hello”. Part of Henrik had wanted to talk to Elijah, to ask him about the army, about work, but from that first dinner when Elijah had barely said ‘hello’ to him, he’d realized that Elijah seemed to not even care about him anymore. He hadn’t expected Elijah to be the first to say ‘hello’ or to ruffle his hair the way he did the evening before. [He didn’t even find it annoying, he was too shocked and touched. He did with Kol, though, so there was that]. And then, Elijah had volunteered to take him for the weekend when their parents sprang the news on them. [Henrik would have been perfectly fine staying in Baton Rouge with a friend, but his parents never considered his opinion in their last minute decisions]. But, if breakfast that morning proved anything, things weren’t going to be magically back to how they used to be between them.

“We’re here,” Elijah said as he turned off the engine, shaking Henrik out of his reverie, and Henrik shook his head.

“Oh,” he said, undoing his seatbelt and opening the door. “Cool,” he added with a shrug as he got out of the car. Elijah said nothing and got out himself, then locked the car. The two of them stood there awkwardly, neither of them moving. Henrik sighed, “I don’t know where we’re actually going, Elijah,” he said, giving his older brother a pointed look.

“Oh. Right,” Elijah muttered, looking embarrassed, and stepped away from the car. “This way,” he added, gesturing for Henrik to follow him. He did, quickening his pace so he could walk right behind Elijah, hanging back a little. Elijah seemed not to even mind, and Henrik couldn’t help the pang of hurt he felt that Elijah didn’t even care to notice he wasn’t walking next to him. At this point, Henrik wished that one of his other siblings had taken him because even staying with Freya whose idea of down time was watching old surgeries with a glass of wine sounded better than whatever he and Elijah were doing. But, he didn’t say anything and hung back as he and Elijah walked down the main street. Finally, Elijah stopped in front of a café. The sign in front read _la Madeleine_. Elijah checked his watch, and opened the door, stepping inside, and held the door open so Henrik could follow. They spotted Nik and Hope sitting at a table in the corner, and as soon as she spotted them, Hope stood up and ran towards them while Klaus just stood up, looking amused.

“Uncle Elijah! Henrik!” his seven-year-old ‘niece’ yelled as she threw herself at Elijah. For a moment, Elijah stood there rigidly, but then he caught her easily and picked her up.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he said as Hope hugged him tightly. Henrik felt a pang of jealousy and hurt. The age difference between him and Hope wasn’t that big, hence why he didn’t call her his niece and she didn’t call him ‘Uncle Henrik’. _That would be too weird_. But, it also hurt because Elijah seemed fine with Hope, even happy to see her, and with him he acted like he wanted to be anywhere but in the same room. He shook his head, deciding to ignore this and instead went to Nik.

“Hey, Nik!” he said by way of greeting and hugged his brother tightly. Klaus returned the hug, and ruffled his hair, and Henrik squirmed. “Nik, stop!” he yelled before they both turned back to Elijah and Hope, who was still in Elijah’s arms, positioned on his hip.

“How was your day, honey?” Elijah asked her as he carried her over to them.

“Amazing! Cami made omelet for breakfast and daddy promised he’d buy me desert and beignets!” she beamed, and Henrik stiffened as he watched the interaction between them. “But, I miss mommy,” she added with a sigh.

“That sounds fun, sweetheart,” Elijah said, smiling a little. “And, your mom finishes work today. I’ll go pick her up so she can get her car because she left it at my place, and she’ll come pick you up, so the two of you can hang out together,” he told the seven-year-old.

Hope beamed, “yay!” excitedly, and Henrik frowned as he watched the exchange.

Klaus seemed to notice the glum look on his face because he leaned slightly towards him. “How are things with you two?” he asked him. When Henrik furrowed his eyebrows, his brother added, “oh, come on, Henrik, the awkwardness and distance does not go unnoticed.”

Henrik shrugged, “I don’t know. Like you said, I guess. Awkward and distant,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I’m sorry,” Klaus said sympathetically. “But, he is trying, you know,” he added, looking over at their older brother and Hope.

“Well, could’ve fooled me,” Henrik muttered sarcastically. But, before Klaus could say anything about that, Elijah had set Hope down and she came over to him, and hugged him.

“Hey, Henrik,” she said, grinning, and happy to see him. _At least someone is,_ he thought sadly.

“Hey, Hope,” he said, mustering a smile while Elijah and Nik talked amongst themselves.

“C’mon, let’s go pick desert,” she said excitedly, grabbed his hand and dragged him off in the direction of the café display.

* * *

As his daughter dragged Henrik to get desert, Klaus sighed heavily. He felt horrible for the poor kid. But, he couldn’t even be angry at Elijah because he knew why Elijah was having such a tough time being around Henrik. And, even Hope he’d noticed, though he wasn’t as cold with her. Klaus wondered if that was because Hope was a child, or because she was his daughter. No, not just his daughter. _Hayley’s_ daughter. Klaus was pretty sure that Elijah’s efforts with Hope were mainly because her mother was his girlfriend. But, with Henrik it was different. Though, it was fairly obvious that even with Henrik his older brother was trying. It just wasn’t enough.

“What can I get you, messieurs?” the waitress came up to them after they’d just sat down, her voice thickly accented.

“I’ll have an americano,” he said.

“And, I’ll have a cappuccino with cinnamon on top,” Elijah ordered, and Klaus raised an eyebrow.

“Anything else?” she asked.

“No, we’ll wait for the kids,” he said, smiling pleasantly.

“Oh, those kids are so cute!” she exclaimed. “The teenager looks exactly like his father and that little girl is all you!” she beamed, looking at Elijah when she said father. 

Klaus glanced over at his brother, who stiffened.

“Oh, no, he’s not,” Elijah said, shaking his head. “He’s my brother,” he explained.

“Oh. Nonetheless, you two look so similar,” she said, smiling at them both. “Your coffee will be ready soon,” she added and scurried off.

“Cappuccino with cinnamon on top? Who are you and what have you done to my brother?” he asked, smirking slightly.

Elijah ducked his head, a little embarrassed, “Hayley likes it. I have to admit so do I,” he shrugged.

Klaus just snorted and shook his head, “oh, you are so whipped!”

Elijah just pursed his lips and sighed.

“She is good for you, brother,” he remarked, smirking.

Elijah’s expression softened, “yeah, she is,” he muttered. Klaus could see there was something else he wanted to say, but he seemed hesitant to do, so he decided to divert the subject a little.

“How are you doing, brother?” he asked the other man.

Elijah sighed, “I’m… okay, I suppose. Better than yesterday, at least,” he said.

Klaus nodded, “and, how are things with Henrik?” he wondered, though it didn’t take a genius to know things weren’t going that great.

Elijah sighed heavily, “I’m… I’m trying, Niklaus,” he said, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just- I am trying, it just isn’t easy,” he admitted. Klaus reached across and patted his leg sympathetically.

“Oh, Elijah,” he shook his head. “I know Henrik was pleased when you volunteered yesterday,” he observed.

“Yeah. I mean, I know that I’ve pulled away from him, I know I’ve been distant. And, I know it’s because of how much he reminds me of Jon, but I can’ keep doing this anymore. He is my brother after all. I need to at least try and fix things with him,” he said sadly, glancing over at the pair of Hope and Henrik looking at deserts. “You know, it’s actually your daughter who pointed this out to me,” he added.

Klaus perked up at the mention of Hope and raised an eyebrow, “Hope? Really?”

“Yeah. That day I visited her at the hospital and told her about Jonathan, she told me that Jonathan looked like both me _and_ Henrik. And, it just made me realize that that was why I was pulling away and being so distant with Henrik. Because Henrik reminds me of him,” he admitted sadly. “But, it’s not his fault and he shouldn’t be punished for it. So, I’m trying to fix things… I hope it’s enough.”

Klaus just smiled at him sympathetically, “yeah…” he trailed off, not quite sure what to say to that. “I suppose it will just take as long as it takes. Just don’t be too hard on yourself, Elijah. It’s not your fault either,” he told him.

The waitress brought them their coffee and two glasses of water, and they both muttered ‘thanks’.

“But, it is, Niklaus. I’m the one who pulled away, I’ve been so distant from him, and I know how much it’s hurt him. It’s my fault. I mean, you saw him last night, he was so shocked when I made an effort, and so happy when I said I’d take him for the weekend… he’s noticed it, too,” Elijah argued.

“Well, of course he’s noticed,” Klaus rolled his eyes. “He’s twelve, Elijah, not stupid. But, that still doesn’t make it your fault. And, neither does the uncanny resemblance between you, Henrik and Jonathan. It’s just genetics, you know,” he said, shaking his head. Elijah opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Henrik and Hope returned. “All ready to order, you two?” he asked as Hope sat down beside him and Henrik sat down next to her, with Elijah on his other side.

“Yup!” Hope beamed. “I want a beignet and a chocolate tart,” Hope announced, smiling.

Elijah let out a throaty half-chuckle, shaking his head, “Hayley’s going to hate you for giving her a sugar high,” he commented.

“Uncle Elijah!” Hope whined.

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Responsible. It’s not every day I get to take my only daughter out. Let me spoil her,” he said, and Elijah just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Uncle Elijah, don’t be such a hard-ass!” she exclaimed, slightly annoyed. Elijah choked on his coffee and spluttered, and Klaus reached across to pound him on his back.

“Hope!” he exclaimed, though he had to admit, he was proud. His daughter was brave and spoke her mind. Just like her mother. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to your uncle,” he said, giving her a pointed look.

Hope rolled her eyes theatrically, “oh, come on, dad! You’ve been saying it for weeks!” she said. “And, besides, it’s true and you know it,” she added, smirking a little.

“Well, she is most certainly your daughter, Niklaus,” Elijah remarked, not at all hurt by his niece’s comment. “There’s no doubt about it.”

Klaus just chuckled. “Please don’t say that in front of your mother. She wouldn’t be very happy if you called her boyfriend a ‘hard-ass’. Really, she would be pissed that you’re using such language,” he said seriously. “And, she would know you learned it from me and would probably kill me,” he added, smirking a little.

“Yeah, but mom’s said that word, too,” Hope retorted, not missing a beat.

“Hope!” Klaus exclaimed. “Please. Just use proper language, okay?”

His daughter rolled her eyes once again theatrically, “okay, fine!” She pouted a little, but didn’t say anything else on the matter.

“Sorry, Uncle Elijah,” she added, turning to look at Elijah.

Elijah just chuckled, “it’s okay, Hope. Just don’t use these words in front of your mother. Your father is right, she’d probably kill him,” he said, smirking slightly. The waitress came by and took their full order, a beignet, chocolate tart and orange juice for Hope, just a beignet for Henrik and orange juice, a caramel crème brûlée for himself and mille-feuille for Elijah. Henrik and Hope soon started talking about movies or whatever else interested them while him and Elijah drank their coffee in comfortable silence. The waitress soon returned with their deserts and they tucked in.

“Hope, try not to make a mess, honey,” he said, handing his daughter a napkin. As much as she liked sweets, she was still seven. And, still occasionally made a mess of things.

“Okay, daddy,” she said as she dug into her beignet. Things were mostly silent between them, and Klaus watched as Hope and Henrik discussed school and things like that while Elijah just ate in silence.

“So, guess, what Vincent called to tell me,” Klaus said, breaking the silence. He wasn’t about to just sit there and stay quiet.

“What?” Elijah asked before plopping a spoonful of desert into his mouth.

“Francesca Guerrera is leaving. Apparently, she got offered a job at John Hopkins with a teaching gig,” he informed him.

Elijah turned towards him, “wait. Francesca Guerrera the Head of General surgery?” he asked.

“The one and only.”

“Huh.”

“And, Vincent informed me that the post could be mine if I wanted it,” he said, smirking slightly, waiting for his brother’s reaction.

“Oh! Well, you should have started with that Niklaus! That is wonderful news,” he said, smiling, and reached to clap him on the shoulder.

“Thank you. I mean, it’s not official, but…” he trailed off. [He’d never been a fan of Francesca, so he was glad to see the back of her. And, getting her job was just the icing on the cake].

“Well, it’s wonderful news indeed,” Elijah repeated.

They talked for a bit about work, about Camille and Hayley, about their parents while Henrik and Hope talked amongst themselves. Elijah insisted on paying the bill, and as much as Klaus tried to split it, he gave in because his brother was just being impossibly stubborn and Klaus didn’t feel like arguing with him.

As they exited the café, Elijah cleared his throat, and Klaus turned to him. “What is it, brother?”

“Hayley just texted she was finished with her shift, I’ll go pick her up,” he said. Then, seeming to remember the teenager he was meant to look after, he turned to their youngest brother, “Henrik, you don’t mind hanging with Niklaus, do you?”

Henrik shook his head, “of course I don’t. It’s cool, Elijah, thanks,” he said politely, flashing Elijah a tense smile.

“Good. Well, if Hayley’s not too tired we can come meet you. Or, I’ll come at first and she’ll join us later,” he said.

Klaus grinned, “well, now that that is settled, let’s go. I know just the place for us to see. One of my favorite places in New Orleans. The New Orleans Museum of Art,” he announced, unable to keep his excitement in.

“Yay!” Hope exclaimed, beaming excitedly, too.

“Cool,” Henrik shrugged, mustering a smile that was probably more for his and Hope’s benefit. Elijah just shook his head in amusement and left, heading for his car. “We’ll meet you there!” he called out.

* * *

Elijah took Hayley’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together as they entered the New Orleans Museum of Art. Neither of them were fans of art, but Klaus had texted that they weren’t done, so Elijah and Hayley agreed to join. They found the trio in one of the last room, Niklaus was pointing out all sorts of paintings, geeking out like a child while Hope was bouncing around excitedly, admiring the pieces. Henrik, too, seemed to have a good time, though he wasn’t an art person.

As they watched them, Hayley leaned her head on Elijah’s shoulder, and he let go of her hand only to wrap his arm around her, pulling her close. He turned slightly towards her, and cupped her cheek with his other hand, tilting her head towards him.

Hayley’s eyes widened, “Elijah! We’re in a museum,” she hissed.

“I’m aware,” he retorted drily. Then, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, but Hayley pulled away, and pushed him away playfully.

“Elijah! Have a little respect for the art!” she exclaimed teasingly, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’m ashamed to say I have none. I much prefer you,” he quipped, smirking a little. And then, he leaned down once more and captured her lips with his, pulling her in for a deep kiss. This time, she didn’t resist him, and just wrapped her own arms around his neck, and kissed him back, her lips warm and soft against his.

Unfortunately, a throat clearing made them pull apart, and they turned to find Klaus looking at the both of them.

“Ah, there you two are! You do know we’re in a museum and there are children present,” he quipped, grinning mischievously.

Elijah shook his head in exasperation, “Niklaus.”

“Great choice coming to the art museum, though, Klaus,” Hayley commented, smiling fondly as she glanced at her daughter who was a little further off, rambling about art to Henrik. “Hope loves art.”

Klaus smirked, “well, we both know which of us she inherited that particular trait from.” Hayley just rolled her eyes.

Hope finally took notice of him and Hayley, and bounded towards, them throwing herself into Hayley’s arms, who caught her easily while Henrik just followed after her.

“Mommy! I missed you!” Hope squealed, hugging her mother tightly, and Elijah couldn’t help the warmth that flooded his chest when she looked at the mother and daughter duo.

“I missed you, too, baby girl! So much!” Hayley said, hugging Hope tightly. “Did you enjoy the art museum?”

“Yes! It was awesome! I loved it!” Hope beamed. “Even Henrik had fun,” she added as Hayley settled her on the ground. She then walked over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, and he returned the hug, ruffling her hair slightly.

“Hi again, Uncle Elijah!” she said, smiling at him adorably. Elijah’s chest tightened, but he ignored it.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly. “You having fun?”

“Yes! The most!” she grinned. And then, she went back to her father, the two of them walking out to the next room.

“Hi, Hayley,” Henrik greeted, looking up from his phone.

“Hey, Henrik,” Hayley smiled warmly, and Elijah felt a pang of guilt.

“Hey, Henrik. Enjoyed yourself?” he said, flashing his little brother a tense smile.

Henrik shrugged, “sure. I’m not much of an art person, but yeah…” he trailed off, then went off after Hope and Niklaus. Hayley glanced over at him.

“I see that’s going well,” she remarked, giving him a pointed look.

He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping, and reached for her hand once more, lacing his fingers with hers. “I’m trying, Hayley,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“I know,” she said, reaching to cup his cheek. Instinctively, he leaned into her touch. “But, you’re the one who volunteered to take him for the weekend. So, you know, put in the effort,” she told him. Her expression softened, “at least try and talk to him, Elijah,” she added.

“Yeah, perhaps you’re right,” he sighed as her hand dropped from his cheek to rest on his shoulder. He tilted his head and kissed her forehead tenderly.

They caught up with Niklaus, Henrik and Hope, and after Hope dragged them to the museum shop where they spent a good half hour, they finally left the museum, Hope and Henrik both carrying bags with souvenirs.

When they reached the cars, Hope turned to him and Henrik. “Henrik, Uncle Elijah…” she hesitated, “would you guys me mad if I wanted to just go home and have my mom to myself tonight?” she asked, looking at them both apprehensively.

Elijah’s expression softened, “of course not, sweetheart. We can see each other tomorrow if you’re up for it,” he said.

“Of course not, Hope,” Henrik said, smiling kindly at her. “No problem.”

“Thank you!” she said happily. They exchanged goodbyes, and then, Elijah and Henrik got in Elijah’s car to drive home while Niklaus pulled out of the parking lot and so did Hayley with Hope.

The drive back to his place was silent, and when they got in Henrik went off to the study where his things were while Elijah got started on dinner. He decided to make spaghetti carbonara without the ham, just the cream sauce, and added a few mushrooms as well.

“Henrik! Dinner is ready!” he said as he poured the sauce over the spaghetti and mixed. Seconds later, Henrik appeared, just as Elijah was setting the two pasta bowls with spaghetti on the table. Without a word, Henrik grabbed two glasses and filled them with water, setting them on the table as Elijah grabbed the parmesan from the table.

“This looks yummy, Elijah,” he said with a smile.

“I hope you like it. Sorry, no bacon, but I don’t really eat meat, like I said,” he said as he sat down.

“I don’t mind, honestly,” Henrik shrugged.

“Bon appetite,” he muttered as both of them tucked in. Neither of them said anything during dinner, just focused on eating. Elijah thought back to what Hayley had said, and he knew he had to bring the subject up, but he had to admit part of him was scared to do it.

Once they both finished dinner, Elijah stood up from the table to wash the dishes and Henrik stood up, too, bringing the empty plates and glasses over to Elijah, though neither of them actually said anything. Earlier, being with Hope and Niklaus had been easier, and Elijah was slightly ashamed to admit he’d used his niece as a distraction from Henrik, so he didn’t have to talk to him. Because, realizing what he’d done and the damage he had caused to their relationship and wanting to fix it was one thing, but actually fixing it was another thing entirely. And, Elijah had no idea how to do it, or where to even begin. So, instead, Elijah washed the dishes in silence, Henrik in the background, neither of them saying anything.

“Do you even want me here?” Henrik blurted out and Elijah froze, dropping the tea towel he was using to wipe the dishes on the counter.

“What do you mean?” he asked calmly though he had a feeling, and his stomach dropped.

“You know what I meant, Elijah,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You’re the one who came up with the idea for me to stay with you and I’ve been here for a day and you found a million excuses not to actually spend time with me or talk to me. Do you even know what I like? Or, anything about me at all?” When Elijah said nothing, Henrik continued as if suddenly a dam had burst. “You’ve been back from the army about six months or so now and I’ve seen you about three times until yesterday. And, every time you pretended like I didn’t exist! You barely said ‘hello’ to me! You didn’t even look at me!” Elijah’s stomach clenched with guilt and regret, and he hung his head in shame because everything Henrik was saying was true. For his part, his youngest brother looked on the verge of tears. “I thought this weekend we’d finally become close again, but you act like you’re just my babysitter, just making sure I eat and sleep, not my brother. I should’ve just stayed with Bekah or Nik. Even Kol or Freya. Finn would probably be better as much as he’s annoyed with me,” he sighed and Elijah flinched. That hurt. But, Henrik continued, “anything would be better than being ignored by my own brother,” he said and wiped at his eyes.

Elijah sighed, “Henrik,” he started slowly, “I am so sorry you feel like that. But, I’m trying here... it’s just- it’s complicated,” he said sadly.

Henrik gave him an incredulous look. “Complicated? Really?” he rolled his eyes. “What is complicated, Elijah? C’mon, we’re brothers, this shouldn’t be complicated, but you act like we’re strangers, like we don’t even know each other!” he exclaimed, and behind the anger, Elijah could also see he was hurt. His own stomach twisted painfully. _God, this was all his fault._ He knew he’d hurt Henrik, but somehow Henrik pretty much screaming it in his face was different.

“I’m sorry, I just-” he stopped and looked away for a moment, but he caught sight of one of Jon’s photos on the wall. He felt tears prickle at his eyes, and he stiffened, gripping the counter tightly. He wasn’t going to cry in front of Henrik, he wasn’t going to break in front of him. He may have done it in front of Freya, Niklaus and Rebekah, but wasn’t going to do it in front of Henrik. So, he blinked the tears away and set his jaw.

“Does this have to do with J?” Henrik finally asked after a few minutes of silence and Elijah inhaled sharply. “Look, I know I’m just your kid brother and too young to understand, but I’m not stupid. I get you’re still dealing with it and maybe you can’t talk to me like you talk to Nik or Bekah, but you can talk, y’know? I mean, I like to think I’m a good listener...” he trailed off nervously, practically blushing.

Elijah looked away from the photo and back at Henrik. His expression softened, “it’s- it’s not that, Henrik. I mean, maybe a little. I’ve never really been good at letting people in, even my family,” he admitted, and went over to the kitchen island, taking a sit. Hesitantly, Henrik joined him. “But, this isn’t just that. It’s not _just_ talking that’s hard. It’s everything...” he trailed off, and took another deep breath, exhaling it. “The reminders are _everywhere_. And, sometimes even being around all of you is hard,” he admitted.

“Oh,” the word fell from Henrik’s lips almost wordlessly.

Elijah took another deep breath. “It's hardest with you. You and Hope,” he started as he exhaled.

“You sure didn’t seem to have an issue with Hope, earlier when we met with Nik,” Henrik commented, and Elijah flinched as it just occurred to him how him hugging and picking Hope up had looked to Henrik. He had been such an idiot.

“I- I am so sorry, Henrik. Please forgive me. It wasn’t- I guess I’ve gotten more used to being around Hope. Not that that is an excuse. But, I’m really sorry I hurt you. But, it’s still hardest to be around the two of you. Hope, because they would be the same age, so she's a reminder of what he should be doing, now. And you, because you both look just like me,” he said, his own voice barely a whisper. Henrik’s mouth fell open and he stared at him, brown eyes wide. “You... are the older version of Jonathan that Jonathan will never become. You are a reminder of everything he will never be and never do. And I don't expect you to understand, or to ever really forgive me,” he said, his voice breaking slightly and Henrik’s expression was serious. He reached across the kitchen island to rest his hand on Henrik’s arm. “But, I need you to know that it was never about _you_. I never stopped loving _you_. I just... wasn’t ready to face you. To face the future that he is never going to have,” he finished, choking back a sob, his eyes filled with tears. Henrik didn’t say anything at first, but he reached to rest his hand on top of Elijah’s and nodded.

“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” he muttered quietly. “I’m really sorry,” he repeated emotionally. Elijah nodded, his own eyes brimming with tears.

“Thank you,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, but he sounded on the verge of tears, too. “I’m sorry, too. Forgive me, Henrik.”

“It’s okay,” the teenager said with a smile.

For several minutes, neither of them said anything. Elijah was staring at the table in front of him while Henrik was looking into space, lost in thought.

“Is that when you started drinking? When J died?" he wondered bluntly, breaking the silence and Elijah’s eyes widened in shock as he snapped his gaze over to Henrik.

"What?" he asked, though he had heard Henrik. His mount hung open in shock

"Come on, Elijah,” he rolled his eyes in that exasperated way typical of teenagers. “I saw the way everyone looked at you when Father asked about the wine at dinner the other night. Like you were the reason for that.” Elijah swallowed thickly. Because more than anything, more than even talking about Jonathan, he was terrified of talking about his alcoholism to Henrik. It was one thing to talk about Jonathan. Henrik had known Jonathan, he knew Jonathan died. But, Elijah being in recovery? That was one thing Elijah and the rest of his siblings had agreed on not telling Henrik, or Hope for that matter. But, Henrik was his brother, and a Mikaelson, and quite observant for his age. He wasn’t going to be fooled for long. Case in point, he added, “you're obviously not pregnant, so... why else would you drinking be a problem, unless you wouldn't be able to stop?” Elijah had to snort at that first part. And, stiffened at the second part because Henrik had just hit bullseye and they both knew it.

He hung his head in guilt and shame, but Henrik squeezed his hand.

“Just tell me the truth please,” he said softly. “I hate the lying. I can’t stand it. And, I know Mother and Father do it, but they’re, y’know, Mother and Father,” he said, rolling his eyes as he mentioned their parents. “But, I can’t stand being lied to by you and the others. So, please, Elijah just tell me the truth.”

Elijah sighed heavily, “it’s not- it’s not easy…” he trailed off, his shoulders slumping.

“Try me,” Henrik quipped. “I know I’m twelve, but I’m not stupid. I’m pretty smart if you look at my report cards,” he smirked slightly, teasingly. “And, well, y’know, being the only one left at home with all of you gone,” he added. Elijah nodded.

“It’s not easy because you’re my brother, my little brother at that,” he finally said. “It’s not really about your age, Henrik, I know you’re a smart kid, I know you can take some more adult conversations. But, you’re not just any kid. You’re my little brother. And, I-” he stopped himself, and swallowed thickly, blinking back tears. Henrik was looking at him patiently, so Elijah continued, “and, I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want you to know my struggles, my weaknesses because I am your older brother and it is my job to take care of you and protect you. And, if you knew what I was struggling with, you would know that I am weak despite how strong I pretend to be. And-” he stopped himself once again, his lip quivering. He pursed his lips, took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm himself. “I just- I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me… to be ashamed of me,” he finally admitted, and looked away, blinking back tears.

“Oh,” was all Henrik said, the word just a quiet whisper, and gripped his hand tighter. “Oh, Elijah…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “But, you’re sober, right?”

“Yeah… yeah, I am. I, uh, I didn’t start drinking when J died. I _stopped_ drinking when he died. Katherine and I- we, uh, she-” he paused, and took another deep breath, bracing himself. He had to be honest, he reminded himself. Honesty is the best police, he repeated like a mantra in his head. He cleared his throat, “Katherine and I, our marriage was falling apart. And then, I found out she was cheating on me,” he revealed, but Henrik didn’t seem too shocked. Elijah narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

“Mother’s book club likes to gossip,” he explained, shrugging. Elijah rolled his eyes. _Of course_.

Henrik nodded at him to continue, so he did. “That’s when I started drinking a lot, fell off the wagon. But, after Jonathan died, I-” he cut himself off, and paused. No, he wasn’t going to tell Henrik what part his drinking had played. _That was too much._ “I don’t know, I somehow found it in me to get sober. To be honest with you, I was in so much pain, I don’t know why exactly I did it. But, I managed two days sober on my own, then went to rehab. Spent half a year in rehab, give or take. Then, I went to the army to escape all the reminders of him, of what I lost, of my failed marriage with Katherine… just everything. I just needed an escape from everything,” he admitted, his voice breaking a little. Henrik bit his lip, and seemed to hesitate, as if unsure whether to say something. “Henrik, if you have any questions or anything to say at all,” he said, and met his little brother’s gaze, “you can say it. I won’t get mad, or upset, you have my word.”

Henrik nodded, and swallowed nervously, “I just- well, I was just wondering because the first dinners we had since you came back from the army, you weren’t drinking, but the others were. The first time, I didn’t really say anything, but the time with Hayley and Hope when I asked, Bekah just said it was cause you were driving them home. Now, I know that wasn’t true. But, the other night, Rebekah didn’t even have the wine out and when Father asked, well, the way everyone acted and everything, I was just wondering,” he paused, wringing his hands nervously together, and Elijah offered him a soft, encouraging smile, so he continued, “what happened?”

Elijah had the feeling Henrik suspected, but was too afraid to ask. “Yeah, I was fine with them drinking around me because I was two and a half years sober. I mean, maybe I wasn’t always fine, but it was easier. But,” he paused, and took a deep breath, bracing himself, “about three months ago when Hope was in the hospital after the accident, I- I reset the clock. Fell off the wagon again,” he said and looked down.

“Why?”

Elijah closed his eyes briefly, and took a deep breath, “because Hope’s accident was almost exactly like Jonathan, and it- it triggered me. And, I was trying to be strong for Hayley, for Niklaus,” he paused, his voice trembling, and sighed heavily, “I just- it was too much, I just couldn’t so I started drinking again. And, things got pretty bad, I went MIA for a day, lied to Hayley, to Niklaus and the others, and wound up in the E.R. at the hospital with a broken hand from a bar fight. That’s how they found out, and after they treated me, the Chief put me on medical leave, and sent me home, Hayley came over and I finally admitted to needing help. Because that’s the thing, Henrik. People like me, people who struggle the way I do, w- with alcoholism, we have to admit to _needing_ to be helped, we have to _want_ to be helped before we _can_ be helped. So, I had to admit to Hayley, Niklaus, Rebekah, Freya and Kol that I needed help, that I needed- that I couldn’t be strong. It wasn’t easy, but I got help and got sober,” he told him and Henrik nodded. “I’m still not one-hundred percent okay. I’m still struggling, but I’m trying to take it one day at a time. And, Niklaus, Rebekah, Freya, Kol and Camille they’re all there for me, I know that. But, even now it’s hard for me to let them in because I’m not used to being the weak one, or, well, not used to letting them – you – see me like this,” he paused, and averted his gaze as he tried to find the right words, “weak and falling apart. I am used to being the strong one, the one everyone leans and counts on, so it’s just hard not being that…” he trailed off, and hung his head, ashamed.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed, Elijah,” Henrik said, as if he’d been reading his mind. Slowly, Elijah turned to look at his youngest brother once again. “I’m not. I doubt any of the others are, either. I’m proud of you. You’re my brother, Elijah, and I’m proud of you,” he told him, and Elijah felt tears threaten to spill from his eyes. Then he stood up and rounded the table and wrapped his arms around Elijah. For a moment, Elijah was frozen, but then he wrapped his arms around Henrik and returned the hug.


	26. 'Cause You Never Gave a Warning Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson comes back and Elijah didn't know about him until now. So, he gets the surprise of his life and lashes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go! I've been kind of excited about bringing Jackson in for a while... won't spoil anything else now! Hope you enjoy!  
> P.S. The long-ish bit in Italics is a flashback

Cami scanned the hospital lobby for Hayley, trying to find the other woman in a sea of white lab coats and scrubs. It was mid-October and the past couple of weeks had passed almost in a blur, and she was looking forward to having lunch with Hayley, needing some down time. Despite the relatively warm New Orleans weather, she was wearing a long sleeved silk shirt and pants, her above shoulder-length hair curled in soft waves. Unlike most employees at St. John’s, Cami was exempt from wearing scrubs since she was in psych, but still donned a white lab coat over her business-casual clothes along with her badge. _Dr. Camille O’Connell M.D., Ph.D., L.C.P.C., L.M.H.P., F.A.C.P_ was embroidered both on her lab coat and on her badge. She scanned the lobby once again, and finally spotted her.

Hayley was standing a few feet away from the reception desk, and Cami walked in her direction, but soon noticed she wasn’t alone. She was talking, although it looked like arguing with a guy with long, jet black hair, pushed back, wearing a flannel shirt and jean jacket on top. Cami wondered if it was a patient asking for directions or a consult, but then Hayley caught her gaze, and shook her head almost imperceptibly. And, Cami stiffened at the fear in her best friend’s eyes, the way she nervously playing with her wringing her hands, the way she was slowly stepping back, though not enough that the guy would notice. And, with sinking realization, Cami knew just who the man was. Jackson Kenner. Hayley's husband. Cami knew it was just a matter of time before he showed up and there were only two possible explanations for it. Either Jackson Kenner had found Hayley by himself, probably hiring a private investigator, or he had gotten the divorce papers Hayley filed about a week ago. Cami desperately hoped it was the latter. Okay, she needed a plan. She needed to get Hayley as far away from the man, and Hayley needed to call her lawyer, and they needed to tell the family. And then, something else occurred to her. _The divorce papers would have given Hayley’s home address, but how would he have known to come to the hospital?_ Her stomach twisted in knots nervously, and she jumped when she felt someone lean against her, but she soon relaxed when she realized it was just Klaus.

“What’s got you so jumpy, love?” her boyfriend asked as he rested his hand on the small of her back, and pressed a tender kiss to her temple.

“Nothing, it’s- it’s nothing,” she muttered as she continued to watch the pair.

“Well, I’m not the shrink between us two, but I’m pretty sure it’s not nothing,” Klaus remarked. “Hey,” he cupped her chin and tilted her head so she would be forced to look at him, “what is it, Camille?”

“I-” she stopped herself. She couldn’t lie to him, not to Klaus. For one thing, he was her boyfriend; secondly, the father of Hayley’s daughter so this most definitely concerned him; and, thirdly the brother of Hayley’s boyfriend. _Oh, God,_ she thought as realization dawned on her. Hayley hadn’t told Elijah, not yet at least according to their last conversation on the subject a few weeks ago, during which Cami had tried to convince her to tell Elijah, but Hayley was still hesitant about it. Still scared it would ruin everything or send Elijah spiraling and finding refuge in a bottle again. If she was being honest, Cami couldn’t really blame her as much as she had advocated for her friend to tell the truth.

_Cami took a sip of her wine. The two of them had decided to grab a drink after work on a Friday night before Hayley would pick up Hope from Aiden’s._

_“You know that sooner or later you have to tell him, right?” she said, fixing her friend with a serious look._

_Hayley sighed, played around with the olives the server had brought along with their wine, then took a sip of wine herself. “I know,” she said, seeming sad. “I know that, Cami, I know. I know I can’t keep- well, not exactly lying, but withholding the truth from him. But, what if he hates me for it? What if he leaves me? O, what if this sends him straight to a bottle of bourbon. And, I honestly don’t think I could take it this time. Like, I would actually be scared if Elijah fell off the wagon again. Or, at least be very concerned about continuing to be with him. And, it would be all my fault,” she admitted, and took another sip._

_Cami sighed, “oh, Hayley. I mean, that’s always a very real possibility. For Elijah to fall off the wagon, I mean. You know that. But, if you keep lying to him, it will just get worse. You know him better than… well, I would say better than anyone. You know he doesn’t trust easily. But, he trusts you. And, if he finds out from anyone else it is going to absolutely wreck him,” she told her._

_Hayley nodded and took another sip, “you’re right. You’re right. I should just tell him. I’m just scared. I don’t even know of what exactly. I just can’t lose him,” she said, and sniffled slightly._

_“You won’t lose him, Hayley. You won’t,” she said firmly._

_“You don’t know that. God. When did this become my life? When did my life become such a melodrama?” the brunette wondered, taking another sip of her wine._

_Cami shrugged, and took another sip herself, “oh, honey,” she said, flashing Hayley a sympathetic smile. “It’s going to be okay.” Hayley didn’t seem convinced, but took another sip of her wine, this time bigger. “But, seriously, tell your boyfriend you’re married to Satan, please?”_

_Hayley snorted and took another sip of her wine. “God, I hope he forgives me,” she muttered, shaking her head._

_“He will. It’s Elijah we’re talking about. He is a master at forgiveness,” she told her. “And, besides, he is head over heels for you,” she added._

_“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Hayley sighed. “He hasn’t said it yet. Neither have I for that matter,” she said with a sigh and took another sip._

_“Really?” Cami’s eyes widened. “Because it’s so damn obvious,” she added._

“Well, love? What is it?” Klaus asked, worry obvious in his tone, pulling her out of the memory.

Cami took a deep breath, bracing herself, “that man over there,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, “talking to Hayley.”

“Yeah… what about him?” Klaus asked, glancing over at Hayley who was trying hard to put some distance between herself and Jackson.

“That’s- that’s Jackson Kenner. Hayley’s husband,” she finally said, and Klaus’ eyes widened. [Klaus was one of the few who knew who Jackson was and the fact that him and Hayley were still married. Hayley had told him after she decided to file for a divorce, and it had not been pretty. But, he needed to know because of Hope. And, of course, Klaus was pissed that Hayley wasn’t telling Elijah, had been half-prepared to tell Elijah himself, but she had managed to talk him out of it].

“What the bloody hell is the bastard doing here?” Klaus hissed, gritting his teeth, and she noticed how he sat his jaw, how his blue eyes darkened angrily.

“I think it might be because of the divorce papers. She filed them not too long ago,” she told him. “Or, he found her,” she added, shuddering, and she desperately hoped that wasn’t true. Either way, Hayley had to get in touch with her lawyer and possibly get a restraining order.

“Fuck,” Klaus muttered, turning back to the Hayley and Jackson, fixing Jackson with a glare. “Does Elijah know?”

“I doubt it. Pretty sure Hayley wasn’t expecting him this soon, either,” she replied quietly. “How did he even know to come here?”

Klaus shrugged, “hell if I know,” he muttered, still glaring daggers at Jackson’s head. In this moment, Cami wished the expression ‘if looks could kill was true’. And then, Klaus stiffened as if he’d just realized something. “I am going to kill him,” he muttered.

“What? What do you mean?” she asked worriedly. She caught his arm, gripping it tightly. “Klaus, what’s wrong?”

When he finally looked at her again, he was shaking with anger. “The divorce papers would have had the county and state on them, Camille. Which means the bastard figured out she was in New Orleans by himself. _Fuck_. Josh and Aiden. He knew she had friends here, so it made sense for her to move here when she left him. So, he came here and went to their place. Aiden and Josh have Hope today. I swear if he even touched my daughter-” he cut himself off, and closed his eyes. Cami reached for him then, and rubbed his arm.

“I doubt Aiden let him, but yeah… it’s possible. But, Hope is _fine_ , I’m sure,” she said softly, though her voice was filled with conviction, She hadn’t realized she and Klaus had moved slightly closer to Hayley and Jackson, so now she could hear bits and pieces of their conversation.

“Just go, Jackson,” Hayley told him, and even though she tried to sound firm, Cami could hear her voice shaking. “Just- just leave me alone.”

“Oh, c’mon, Hayley. Don’t be ridiculous,” Jackson scoffed. “This is so stupid. You had your fun, you had your independence, but it’s time to come home,” he told her, reaching for her, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“I believe the lady told you to leave… _mate_ ,” Klaus practically hissed. Cami hadn’t even realized when he’d pulled away from her and gone to Hayley. But, she couldn’t blame him.

“And, I believe I didn’t ask for your opinion, _mate_ ,” Jackson retorted.

“Just go,” Hayley practically begged, her voice shaking, and took a step back.

“Yes, well, considering that this is the mother of my child, I believe my opinion is warranted,” Klaus said, smirking slightly. “Klaus Mikaelson. Oh, yes, you heard that right. I’m Hope’s _father_. I would say I’m charmed, but that would be a lie,” he added sarcastically.

“Hello, Camille.” Cami turned to find Elijah leaning against the nurse’s desk beside her, and she couldn’t help but gasp. _When did he get here? Shit._ This was not going to end well at all.

“Elijah, hey,” she said, trying not to sound too alarmed before turning her attention back to Klaus, Hayley and Jackson.

“Klaus, just stay out of this,” Hayley said softly. “I can handle him.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt your skills, love. But, I believe that considering I am the father of your child that I should offer my assistance,” Klaus said. 

Jackson scoffed, “father of her child? Oh, so you ran off to your baby daddy? Real classy, Hales,” he said, rolling his eyes, disgust obvious in his voice. Hayley flinched. Cami wondered if it ever bothered her when someone else called her ‘Hales’, but she pushed the thought away. She would psychoanalyze her friend later. Jackson turned to Klaus now, “well, Klaus, you might be the baby daddy, but whose name do you think is on that little girl’s birth certificate? Who do you think raised her, held her when she cried, stayed up all night when she was baby with colic’s? It sure as hell wasn’t you. Nah,” he shook his head. “You weren’t up for the role. You were probably sleeping your way through whatever hospital you were at. Or, doing whatever fucking thing you thought was better than stepping up. But, I did. I stepped up. So, you really have no say here. So, if I want to take Hayley and our daughter back home, I am going to do that. And, you can’t stop me,” Jackson snapped, glaring at Klaus, his nostrils flaring. This was about to get really ugly. Klaus looked like he was about to tackle him. Cami wondered if Elijah had caught that bit about Hope being ‘our daughter’.

“You stay the _hell_ away from _my_ daughter, you bastard!” Klaus snarled, taking another step towards Jackson, ready to hit him. But, Cami had another plan.

* * *

“You stay the _hell_ away from my daughter, you bastard!” Klaus snarled, stepping towards the man threateningly. Everyone else stared. Elijah stepped forward, intending to go to his brother to keep him from jumping the guy, or to Hayley to ask her what was happening, but Camille’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Get Hayley out of here,” Camille muttered so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

“What?”

“Elijah,” she said more firmly, “get Hayley out of here. Now,” she ordered. Elijah wanted to ask why, wanted to ask so many questions, but one look at the trio a few feet away from them, close enough they could hear bits or pieces of information, but far enough that _they_ couldn’t hear Camille, and for once he did as told. He put on a charming smile and approached.

“Excuse me,” he said politely, smiling tensely.

“Who the hell are you?” the man who’d been quietly arguing with both Hayley and Niklaus snapped, clearly annoyed.

“Now, sir, there’s no need for that,” he said, smiling. “My name is Elijah and I’m a doctor here. Matter of fact, I am Dr. Marshall’s boss. Now, I understand you seem to be having a bit of an argument here, but I require Dr. Marshall urgently so I would really appreciate it if you would excuse us,” he said, and flashed the man another smile.

“Her boss, huh?” the man said skeptically.

“Do you need to take a look at my badge?” Elijah said, raising an eyebrow. The man glanced down at the badge pinned to his lab coat on top of his suit.

“Nope. Sorry for the inconvenience,” the guy said drily. “Go ahead Dr. Marshall, I’ll see you later,” he said, flashing Hayley a smile she didn’t return. Elijah nodded for her to follow him and began leading her to his office the one place he could think of to be safe. He still didn’t understand any of it, but right now it didn’t matter.

“That was smooth,” she remarked, flashing him a grateful smile, but he didn’t reply, just returned the smile, though his was more tense. He didn’t touch her, not until they’d rounded the corner and got onto the elevator. Only then did he pull her to him, folding her into his arms as she took deep, shaking breaths. Whatever had happened, whoever that man was, the exchange had shaken her. And, Elijah needed to know what happened. But, he wasn’t about to ask. Not yet, at least. Finally, the elevator stopped on the ortho floor, and Elijah led Hayley to his office.

As soon as he shut the door to his office behind him, however, he couldn’t reign in his curiosity, and admittedly worry anymore.

“Hayley, who was that?” he asked point blank.

“No one,” she said with a shrug. “It’s fine, Elijah, really,” she added, reaching for him, but he pulled away only to reach for her hands. He kissed her knuckles and held her hands between his.

“Not no one, Hayley. The whole hospital heard Niklaus’ outburst. And, you seemed to be arguing, too. So, who was he?” he asked her. His expression softened, and he added, “you can tell me, you know.”

Hayley took a deep shaky breath, and her eyes were filled with tears, “I just- Elijah, I know I should have told you, but... you have to know that I am so sorry, and I-” she rambled, wringing her hands together. Usually, he would find it endearing, but this time it just filled him with dread.

“Hey,” he said softly, cupping one cheek, stepping closer to her, and caressed her jaw tenderly, “whatever it is, you have to tell me. It’s okay,” he told her reassuringly and squeezed her hand once more.

Hayley seemed at war with herself, arguing with herself, but finally, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth, “that... that’s Jackson Kenner. He- my husband,” she finally admitted, letting out the breath she’d been holding.

Elijah felt like he’d been sucker punched. He broke physical contact with her and stumbled back, leaning against his desk. The pang of hurt was obvious on Hayley’s face, but Elijah didn’t care. He felt like he couldn’t breath, and he reached to loosen his tie. His mind raced, memories flooding in. Finding his mother in bed with Ansel, his father’s best friend. Then, finding Katherine in a just as uncompromising position. He remembered how Katherine had begged and cried hysterically when he’d kicked her out, asking him not to do this. In the end, he’d been the one to leave and turned to the bourbon. But, this was somehow worse. Because Hayley didn’t cheat on him, no Hayley had been using _him_ to cheat on someone else. And, it wasn’t just sex. They were together, they’d been dating for the past five months. No, not dating. They’d been having an _affair_ for the past five months. The thought was sickening and he felt ashamed and hurt at the same time. He couldn’t even bear to look at Hayley, not now. He felt the sharp sting of betrayal as her words played over and over in his mind. _Husband? She was married? So, after all this time what was the point?_ This had been the best, most intimate, most real relationship he’d ever been in. She was the one person who understood him, the only one he let in, and it had all been a lie. _Of course, she had lied._ After all, why would she have wanted anything more than an affair with him? He was too broken, too damaged, too screwed up to have something real. But, the fact that she had toyed with him like this, that she had led him on for months, that she had deceived him, that was the part that hurt the most. Even if he didn’t deserve anything better. 

“Elijah,” Hayley sniffled, breaking him out of his thoughts, and he glanced over at her. She was crying, but he couldn’t find it in himself to comfort her. “I am so sorry, but I just-” she started tearfully, but he shook his head and realized that his whole body was shaking.

He shook his head, “don’t. Don’t say anything. I can’t... I can’t even look at you,” he said, his own voice shaking, and he felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he blinked them back. He wasn’t going to cry in front of her, not anymore. He opened his mouth to say something else, to kick her out, but was prevented from doing so by the PA system.

“Attention! Code White! Attention! All staff are required NOT to leave their office, or O.R., or any other facility! Repeat! Code White! All staff, do NOT leave the room where you are until it is clear and safe. Thank you!” the voice announced, and Elijah stiffened. Was it because of him? Because of the husband? Because things had gotten heated with Niklaus? And, Elijah couldn’t blame this Jackson Kenner. Because if he had found that his wife left him, moved to another city and had been having an affair for five months, he would have lost it, too. Actually, he had been in that position. And, he hadn’t just drank himself numb in his tiny apartment. Granted he had been drunk when he did it, but he did make the man he had found in his wife’s – ex-wife’s now – bed pay. The man he had once called his best friend. Unfortunately, it didn’t end that well since he was forced to spend a night in jail. Elijah shook his head, pushing the thoughts of what happened that day away.

And then, realization dawned on both of them. She couldn’t leave. They were stuck.

Hayley sniffled as Elijah reached for the glass of water on his desk and took a sip, attempting to calm himself. But, the water did very little to achieve that. No, what he really wanted, what he craved was a drink. But, that wasn’t about to happen, so he just held the glass of water in his hand.

“I should- I should go,” she started nervously, moving towards the door.

“You know you can’t do that,” he told her coldly. “So just…” he trailed off, shaking his head, “just don’t.”

“I- I’m sorry Elijah, I-” she started, but he cut her off.

“Just don’t… don’t say anything… I can’t- I can’t even look at you, but now I’m stuck here with you,” he said, his voice icy, though he felt his lip quiver, and he shook his head. _I’m stuck here with you,_ the words rang in his head. What a cruel, twisted joke.

“FUCK!” he roared and threw the glass in his hand at the wall with force. The glass hit the wall and shattered to a million pieces, and Elijah touched his forehead with his hand, the other one resting on his hip. Hayley flinched.

* * *

She couldn’t help but flinch as the glass shattered to pieces on the floor. Hayley had never seen Elijah this mad. And, definitely not at her. Elijah tended to be the icy calm type, not the yelling type. That was usually Klaus’ area of expertise. Or, Jackson’s. At the thought of her husband, soon to be ex-husband, she shuddered. Only now did she realize that she was shaking, and she reached for the door behind her to steady herself, and sank to the floor while Elijah paced his office, the glass he’d thrown in shards on the floor, but he didn’t seem to care. She sniffled, and only when she rested her face in her hand did she realize that tears had been streaming down her face. She wiped them away, and sniffled again.

She took deep breath, and looked up at Elijah, the man she had fallen head over heels for, who was so hurt by her actions that he couldn’t even bear to look at her. “Elijah,” she muttered softly, her voice shaking. “Please. Please, listen to me,” she continued in a pleading voice. “Let me- let me explain, please,” she added, but Elijah ignored. “Look, I know you’re mad and hurt, but I- I never meant to hurt you, I-” she said, choking back a sob, but Elijah cut her off.

“That’s funny coming from you,” he snarked bitterly, and she flinched. She remembered how she had found it kind of hot when he got snarky with his parents, but being on the receiving end of Elijah’s snark was different. And, the worst part was that she deserved it. All of it. She had been the one who had said nothing to him about Jackson despite Cami, Klaus and Rebekah all telling her to do so. But, she’d been scared. Terrified, actually. Of hurting him, of losing him, of being the cause of another relapse. So, she kept telling herself she would tell him tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. And, now it was too late. Elijah took a deep, shaky breath and released it, his hand still resting on his hip. Then, he turned to her, though he still didn’t look at her, and Hayley felt her heart break into a million pieces. “What could you possibly say that would make any of this okay?” he asked, his voice icy.

She sighed, “I-” she started to say, but he cut her off.

“I mean, what could you possibly say, Hayley? This wasn’t some one-night stand!” he snapped, and she winced. “This was a relationship. Or, at least I thought it was. But, apparently I was wrong,” he said. “This was all just an affair and you didn’t even have the respect to disclose it!” Hayley gasped at that.

“Wh- no, Elijah, you know that’s not true,” she said shaking her head. “Elijah, listen to me, this wasn’t- I-” she rambled, trying to explain, but Elijah was having none of it.

“And, to make matters worse you knew! You knew how I felt about cheating, you knew how hard I find it to trust people, and still…” he trailed off. He shook his head, “I found out my mother was having an affair with my father's best friend by walking in on them together. Found out my wife was having an affair with _my_ best friend the same way,” he told her, and her eyes widened in shock. Not that Elijah noticed. “And now I find out that you are really no different from them. I guess I should just be glad that at least I don't know the guy, right?” he half-chuckled bitterly. She stood up then, shakily, and took a step towards him, but he stepped back, and she felt a pang of hurt.

“Elijah, that’s not true,” she said softly. “I- it wasn’t like that. This wasn’t like that-” she started to argue, to tell him what he really meant to her, but once again he cut her off.

“Then what was it like?” he snapped coldly. “Huh? What was it like Hayley? I’ll tell you what it was like. You made me the one thing I never wanted to be!” he yelled, and she flinched, tears threatening to spill. “You led me on for months… for five months! I trusted you, I let you in, I- you saw me break,” he said, and his voice trembled with emotion, and she could see that he looked like he was about to cry, but he wasn’t letting himself do it. “You saw me at my worst, and all this time it was all a lie! A fucking lie! Every ‘I’m here for you’ was a lie. Every ‘you are not alone’ was a lie, too. All of it… all of it was a lie!” His lip quivered, and his voice shook, and Hayley’s heart broke. He was almost crying, but he wasn’t letting himself do it in front of her. He wasn’t letting her in. Because she had broken his trust and his heart.

Hayley sniffled and shook her head, “Elijah, please… please listen to me,” she begged him. “I know you’re hurt and heartbroken. I know I broke your trust,” she continued pleadingly, “but please, please listen to me… I never, never meant to hurt you,” she choked back a sob. “I just- I didn’t know how to tell you at first. And then, with Hope’s accident and you falling off the wagon-” but, Elijah cut her off.

“Oh, don’t put this on me, Hayley!” he snapped, shaking his head. “If that was too much for you, I didn’t ask you to pick up the pieces,” his voice was icy, and she flinched.

“That’s not what I meant,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I was just- I just didn’t want to tell you because I was scared you would spiral and fall off the wagon again,” she admitted. “I’m so sorry about that,” she added, tears spilling on her cheeks. “And then, as time went on… I guess I just got more and more scared… I kept telling myself I would tell you tomorrow, but tomorrow never came, and now-” she cut herself off and let out a sob. She could see Elijah wanting to reach for her, hesitantly taking a step towards her, but he stopped himself. “I’m so sorry you had to find out this way,” she added, and sniffled.

“Well, I guess better late than never,” he muttered coldly, and she flinched.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried softly. “I’m just- I’m so sorry, Elijah.” Finally, she took a deep breath, bracing herself, and stood up, walking over to him. This time he didn’t step back, but he didn’t look at her either. Even if he didn’t, she could see the pain in his eyes. The pain she had caused. Maybe she had deserved all of it, all of his anger. Could she really blame him for it? She had lied and withheld the truth from him for the entirety of their relationship. And, he was forced to find out the truth when Jackson showed up at the hospital. Just like with his mother and Katherine’s affairs. And, what made it worse was that, for all he knew, he was the affair. “I don’t- I can’t blame you for being angry with me right now. You have every right to be angry, Elijah. But, only because I didn’t tell you the truth when I should have. I’m really sorry about that,” she half-sobbed, and sniffled. She reached with one hand, and wiped away her tears, then reached to take his hand with his other one, but he snatched it away, so her hand fell limply at her side. “But, this wasn’t an affair… what we had between us-” she started, but he cut her off once more.

“Yeah? Tell that to your husband who just showed up,” he snapped in that same icy tone that sent chills down her spine.

“Would you please at least listen to me?” she asked, more loudly than she’d intended. “I know that you’re mad, and hurt, but just- just listen to me Elijah,” she said pleadingly, tears threatening to fall yet again. “Please. This isn’t about him, I don’t- I don’t love Jackson. Not anymore,” she shook her head.

“Well, that’s awfully cliché,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Hayley sighed, “okay, Elijah there’s no need for you to be this cruel!” she snapped. She had had enough. “I get that you’re mad, and hurt, and betrayed, and angry. Hell, I get it if you hate me! But, you could at least listen to me and give me the chance to explain!” she yelled, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Elijah’s shoulders slumped, “fine,” he muttered. “Go ahead and explain.”

“Like I said, this isn’t about him. I don’t love Jackson. Not anymore,” she paused and took a deep breath, “sometimes… sometimes, I wonder if I ever did,” she admitted.

“And, why would you think that?”

“Because I-” she stopped herself, took a deep breath, and looked at Elijah once more. He wasn’t looking at her, but she didn’t even need to look at him to see the pain he was feeling. The pain _she_ had caused _him_. It was obvious in the way his jaw was set, in the way the corners of his mouth twitched and how his lip trembled. And, it was all her fault. She took a deep breath, “because I love you,” she finally said. There, she’d said it. She heard Elijah’s breath hitch in his throat, and finally, finally he looked at her. And, Hayley flinched once again because the look on Elijah’s face was one she never again wanted to see. It was absolutely _gut wrenching_. And, it was all her fault. “Elijah, I-” she started, though she wasn’t sure what she was going to say. Take those damn three words back? Explain to him?

But, Elijah cut her off, “don’t,” he said, his own voice low. “You are married, Hayley, do you understand? _Married_. To another man. And, you never told me. You put me in a position I never wanted to be in, never, not in a million years. And, you didn’t even tell me about it,” he said, and though his tone was calm, there was a certain inflection in it, and a tremor that only hinted at his pain. “And, telling me that you don’t love him has nothing to do with it. You said you wanted to explain?” She nodded. “Well, then, please explain to me why did this happen? Why did you leave your husband, moved here, and strung me along for five months. Explain _that_ to me,” he practically growled on the last part, and she flinched.

“You want me to explain it to you? You want the whole truth? Okay, fine, Elijah,” she spat. _Here we go,_ she thought, bracing herself. I was a single mom, in med school. I didn't even know my daughter's father's last name to try to sue for child support. And I was vulnerable. And he was sweet. And good to me,” she finally admitted. “Good to Hope. Seemed to love both of us. He offered a security I was desperately lacking,” she sniffled. Elijah said nothing this time, just stood there. “Even wanted to adopt Hope. I wouldn't let him, though,” she shook her head. “I think… I think a part of me was always hoping Klaus would check up on me, find out I didn't get the abortion, and want to be her father,” she admitted something she’d never told anyone. That deep down she had always been hoping her daughter’s father would eventually want to step up. “Which, turned out to be a good thing, because now I don't gave to get him involved in the divorce,” she added. It was possibly the only silver lining in all of this. She took another deep breath, bracing herself, “it wasn't until we had been married for a while that I realized how controlling he is. How possessive. Or, rather, that I started to recognize that as abuse and started wondering how long I had before he started hitting me-” she paused, and her eyes flickered to Elijah, but he wasn’t looking at her, his gaze trained on the floor, “or Hope,” she shuddered at the thought. “But, it really is over. The divorce was filed the first day I was legally allowed to. Him getting served with the papers is what brought him here. I'm just waiting for my court date,” she finished and waited, her heart hammering erratically in her chest for Elijah’s response. A tear slid down her cheek and she sniffled, “Elijah,” she said slowly, her voice shaking, “please say something… anything, please,” she all but begged. “Please look at me. Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just- I just wanted to protect my daughter. And, myself. I’m so sorry.” And then, she put her face in her hands and started to cry, her whole body shaking with sobs.

And then, she felt arms around her, felt his body pressed against hers, could smell his scent, wood and paper and Old Spice and she turned slightly and clung to him as she continued to cry, her body wracked with sobs. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she muttered repeatedly, like a mantra. “Forgive me, Elijah… forgive me, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she continued as Elijah held her and cried, too.

Eventually, her sobs subsided and she pulled slightly away from him and wiped her tears away. When she finally looked at him, his own cheeks were tearstained and she reached to wipe them. And then, Elijah reached for her hands and took them in his, bringing them to his lips before kissing her knuckles. Her heart swelled at that. Then, he cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears. And then, he leaned forward, tilted his head, and pressed a kiss to her comfort. When he pulled away, he met her gaze this time, but only for a second, then ducked his head. But, this time Hayley knew it was in shame. He was ashamed. And, she was guilty for the pain she had caused him. Quite the pair, the two of them.

This time, she reached for his hands and laced her fingers with his, “please say something… please, Elijah, I-” she begged him, and let out a quiet whimper. “Please look at me,” she added in a broken voice.

Elijah took a deep breath, and finally he looked up, “forgive me, Hayley. I didn’t mean to- this isn’t like before. I just- I’m ashamed,” he admitted, his own voice trembling slightly. “I was wrong and I refused to see it… to see what was right before my eyes. And, I hurt you, Hayley. I hurt you. And, I don’t- I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he said , his voice thick with emotion.

She shook her head, “it’s okay. I forgive you. I know I hurt you and considering what you told me about Katherine and your mother’s affairs, and Celeste… I can understand why you reacted the way you did. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt when you wouldn’t even listen to me, but I know you were just lashing out,” she said softly and squeezed his hands. “I forgive you, Elijah, really,” she repeated.

“I forgive you, too,” he said, and her breath hitched in her throat. “I- I wasn’t fair to you, Hayley. I let my own baggage and issues cloud my judgement. And, I am so sorry for the pain I caused you, for how much I hurt you,” he said.

“I know. It’s okay,” she forced a tearful smile.

They sat in silence for a while, just holding hands, Elijah rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles.

Finally, Elijah broke the silence, “do you- do you want to talk about it? I- I understand if you can’t, if it’s too hard for you. But, Hayley, I- I am here for you. And, I don’t want you to ever feel like your feelings, your pain is less important than mine. “I know I’ve been the emotional mess between the two of us the past few, well, for almost as long as we’ve been together. But, that does not mean you don’t get to be vulnerable, too. Or, that I can’t be there for you. I am here for you, whatever you need,” he said softly, cupping her cheek, and instinctively she leaned into his touch. “I don’t- I don’t want to be the only burden in this relationship, I don’t want you to feel like,” he paused as he tried to find the right words, “I don’t want you to feel like you always have to be strong one, I don’t want you to feel burdened by me. By my grief, and alcoholism, and trauma, and just… issues.” He shook his head. “You deserve better than that. You are worth more than that,” he told her and her breath hitched in her throat. No one had ever said that to her. Certainly not Jackson. She had never felt worth it with him. But, Elijah was different. _He is not Jackson,_ she reminded herself. “So, please, Hayley, you can tell me,” he added in a low whisper.

She took a deep breath, and reached to cup his cheek, fondling it tenderly. “Hey,” she whispered softly, “you are allowed to grieve, Elijah. And, be an emotional mess. I don’t judge you for it, okay?” He nodded faintly. “And, you’re not a burden to me, okay?” she added firmly, though her voice was soft. “I want to be there for you. I want you to burden me, to let me in.”

“Shall we compromise? I’ll burden you if you burden me?” he suggested as he ran his thumb along her jaw.

“Deal,” she said, her lips curling into a smile. When he gave her a look, she sighed, her eyes drifting to the ceiling. “I- at first, like I told you, he was good to me and Hope. Seemed to love us. But then, after my intern year he convinced me to move, too. So, we did. I mean, it was kind of a good thing because his grandma watched over Hope a lot, and she was actually quite nice. But, then things with… with Jackson changed. There weren’t a lot of residents at my old hospital, but I managed to make friends with a few and we’d go out. But, Jackson started controlling how often that was. Went from once a week to once every two weeks, then once a month, once every few months until…” she trailed off, but he understood. “So, I ended up with no friends… just home and work every day. He bugged my office. Put a tracker on my phone which is why I had to get a new one when I moved. The only time he let me go out on my own was when I was with Hope or Aiden. But, Aiden moved away, too. And, I was just-” she cut herself off and sniffled, and she noticed how tense Elijah looked, “I just felt so alone,” she admitted, and let out a sob. “I used to cry on the bathroom floor almost every night. Our fights got worse, but if anyone ever tried to question it… well, Jackson was very charming and it was a small town. People listened to him, not me. It took a while, but eventually I did realize how toxic that was, how borderline abusive… no, not borderline. He _was_ being emotionally and verbally abusive. And, like I said, I got scared that he might become physically abusive, too. That he might hit me. Or, worse, hit Hope. So, with Aiden and Josh’s help I planned to leave. Bought the apartment and found a job, signed the lease by fax before I even moved, sent money to Aiden so they could buy stuff for the place. And, when Jackson went to this conference in Europe,” she paused, sniffling, and wiped her tears again, “I told Hope that him and I weren’t married anymore, she had no idea what was really going on, and we left. And, we came here. Like I said, I filed the divorce as soon as I legally could and I’m just waiting for the court date because I- I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be tied to him anymore, even if I’m married in name only because I didn’t have another choice. I want to be free,” she finally told him, and sniffled again.

Elijah reached to cup the back of her neck, his fingers sinking in her hair, “listen to me,” he said softly, “you are free. And, you do have a choice,” he told her, his voice firm, the look in his deep brown eyes sure. And then, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, hesitantly at first. His lips were soft and tasted salty from his tears, but Hayley didn’t care and she kissed him back, deepening the kiss. Her hands slid around his neck as his fingers tangled in her hair, and her lips molded with his. It was a soft, but lingering sort of kiss, filled with comfort and reassurance, and their tongues tangled together, their bodies pressed against each other. Only when air became a necessity did Hayley pull away reluctantly, and she met Elijah’s gaze.

“Thank you,” she muttered against his lips. Part of her wanted to repeat her earlier confession, to say those three words – _I love you_ – once again, but his lack of response scared her. Maybe he wasn’t ready to hear them, especially now. She didn’t even think of the other possibility. So, instead, she rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her and let him hold her, their hands joined together, fingers interlaced.


	27. And, I Realize the Blame Is On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jackson's arrival to New Orleans. An apartment fire results in St. John's being swamped with trauma. Hayley and Keelin bond. Hayley's words finally sink in for Elijah

After a while, the PA announced that the Code White was over, and Hayley stood up, still holding onto Elijah, who stood up along with her.

“You okay?” he asked her softly, pulling her closer and reaching to cup her cheek. Instinctively, she leaned into his touch. Somehow after everything, he hadn’t run, he didn’t hate her, still looked at her with that tender look in his eyes, and Hayley melted a little.

“Yeah…” she trailed off. She wasn’t a hundred percent okay, and now that they had talked about the issue of Jackson, it occurred to Hayley that her life would be far from peaceful. After all, Jackson was back and things weren’t going to be easy, not for a while. She wished she could ignore him, but she couldn’t anymore. There were so many things she now had to do, and on top of it all she still had work. But, for a brief moment with Elijah’s arms around her she had managed to forget it all, to just focus on the feel of Elijah’s hand in hers, Elijah’s arm around her, Elijah’s body pressed against hers. “I just- I guess part of me liked pretending this wasn’t an issue. Like… it took me a while to tell Rebekah, even, the truth. For a while, the only one who knew was Cami,” she admitted, and she could see the hurt in his eyes as to why he wasn’t the first one to know. But, they both knew why. “I guess… part of me thought that if I didn’t tell anyone the truth,” she paused, and stared deeply into his eyes, “it wouldn’t be real. I could just pretend I moved here for the job. But, that’s not the truth. And, now I have to face it,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elijah caressed her jaw tenderly, “hey, Hayley, listen to me,” he said softly, “it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay, do you hear me?” She nodded, though part of her didn’t believe him. “I’m here for you, Hayley, and it’s going to be okay,” he repeated, his voice filled with conviction. “You have my word,” he added, and she couldn’t help but smile. She leaned forward slightly, wanting to press her lips against his, but was interrupted by her pager.

“Damn it,” she muttered as she pulled it out. It was an incoming trauma, and a major one as that because Elijah’s pager went off, too. “Well, looks like we’ve still got work to do, lives to save,” she muttered, shrugging.

“You know, you could probably take the day off,” Elijah said.

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, “and what good would that do?” she quipped, more harshly than she’d intended. Her expression softened, “I need to work, Elijah, you know that,” she told him.

“Yeah, I know. I just…” he shook his head and trailed off. But, she could see it in his eyes, what he wanted to say. _I wish there was something I could do, some way I could help you. I wish I didn’t feel so helpless._ But, he had no idea how much he was actually helping her, how she was falling in love with him even more.

“I know,” she said softly, “me too.” Her pager beeped again, and she pulled away. “I should go,” she muttered.

“Yeah, I should get changed, too. Clean that up. I’ll see you soon?” he said, already taking off his lab coat.

“Yeah,” she nodded, and forced a reassuring smile before walking to the door and opening it. But, before she could step out, Elijah stopped her.

“Hey,” he said softly, and she turned slightly towards him, meeting his gaze.

“Yeah?”

“You are not alone, Hayley. You have my word on that,” he said, and she smiled again, warmth flooding her chest. And then, she stepped out of his office and raced to the nearest bathroom, washing her face well so that there were no traces of the makeup she’d ruined by crying. And then, she pulled her hair in a ponytail and ran to the E.R. One of the nurses, Agnes, gave her the stink eyes.

“Paged you ages ago, Marshall,” she grumbled, annoyed.

“Sue me, Agnes,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Agnes just glared at her, so Hayley went to grab a yellow trauma gown and stepped out, where she found most of the doctors assembled.

“What’s going on?” she asked. Some of the residents gave her annoyed looks while most of the attendings just glanced over at her and resumed talking amongst themselves. Only Klaus flashed her a sympathetic smile, and Hayley was surprised to see that he seemed intact, and she was partly glad him and Jackson didn’t get into it. Not that Jackson wouldn’t have deserved it, but she didn’t really want Klaus to get suspended. Again.

“Well, look who’s finally showed up,” Tyler Lockwood commented, flashing her a look. He was a repeat intern and a misogynistic asshole who annoyed the crap out of her. Hayley was honestly surprised he was still there, but there he was.

Hayley glared at him, “none of your business, Tyler,” she retorted.

“Lockwood! You’re on SCUT!” Klaus snapped.

“What? Why?” the intern demanded, shocked.

Klaus pursed his lips and took a few steps towards him, and Hayley glanced over at Elena worriedly. She hoped the Chief Resident wasn’t going to let things get too far. “Why? Well, there really shouldn’t be any bloody reason for the Chief of General Surgery, that’s me if you were wondering, to order you, a repeat intern to do something,” he said standing dangerously close to Tyler. Hayley prayed Tyler would just shut up so Klaus wouldn’t shove him against a wall, or something worse. “Oh, and, considering that you showed up just a minute earlier than Dr. Marshall, who is a fifth year resident, you really have no leg to stand on. You are an intern and interns do SCUT no questions asked. Go on, then, it won’t take care of itself,” he added, gritting his teeth, and shoved Tyler lightly. The intern grumbled something inaudible, but entered the E.R. once again, his head down. “I do apologize for that inconvenience,” Klaus said, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. Hayley doubted he was actually that sorry, but she was kind of touched he’d taken her side.

“Right, let’s get down to business,” Jo said, clearing her throat to get everyone’s attention. “You were all paged here because there’s a mass casualty incident. Apartment fire nearby. Dr. Malraux will run triage. Now, paramedics and firefighters will be bringing in patients. Some of them might be tagged, others they’re rushing them in right from the scene. Now, the nurses have cleared out the E.R., which will be our triage area. Attendings, you will either be part of, or leading the team for patients, rotating between O.R.’s and trauma rooms. Interns, your job is to review the tagging of patients, change it if necessary and either admit in case of minor or delayed injuries or send up to O.R. in case of immediate. Let’s review the tags. Rosza!” she ordered.

“Who? Me?” Josh asked stammering. Hayley flashed him an encouraging smile. “Right. Um, red for immediate, yellow is delayed and green is minor injuries,” he rattled off, looking around nervously as the other doctors murmured amongst themselves.

“Good. And, black?” Jo asked.

“Um, I, uh…” Josh stammered, and looked to her, then to Marcel.

Hayley raised her hand, “black is deceased,” she said simply, and the murmuring stopped as doctors glanced at each other sadly. They all knew this was part of the job, but that didn’t mean it ever got any easier.

They could already hear the sounds of ambulances, and soon enough, several ambulances roared in and skidded to a stop. Some of the attendings returned inside along with interns while the residents stayed to receive the incoming. Hayley raced to the first ambulance, and the doors opened to reveal Davina.

“Hey, Davina,” Hayley said, flashing the paramedic a smile. Davina looked absolutely exhausted, her usually wavy hair in a messy ponytail coming undone and she had soot on her clothes.

“Hey,” she greeted her weakly. “Missy Dietler, 37, GCS of 10, lost consciousness en route. Suffers from smoke inhalation and third degree burns to her arms and chest,” Davina recounted.

“Josh! I need a red tag over here,” Hayley called out, and the intern nodded, throwing her a a red tag before exchanging a smile with Davina.

“Alright, let’s take her inside,” Hayley said. “How bad is it?” she asked, turning to Davina, as they rolled the patient inside.

Davina shook her head, “it’s not good,” she told her. “I have to go sign quickly, then I gotta go back. Good luck, Hayley,” she told her, flashing her a brief smile.

“Good luck to you, Davina. Take care,” Hayley returned the smile, and then the other brunette was off to sign forms, lost in the sea of surgeons, nurses, paramedics and patients. 

“Keelin!” Hayley shouted, grabbing the other resident’s attention. “I need a free trauma bay!”

“Are you red tagged?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Okay,” Keelin looked down at the tablet she was holding, “uh, take her to trauma 2.”

“Thanks,” Hayley muttered and began pushing the gurney in the direction. As she did, she caught a glimpse of Elijah, and was suddenly reminded that her boyfriend had spent two years in the army, dealing with this kind of thing on a daily basis. He called out for an intern, pointing her to the patient he’d just reset the shoulder of.

“This one just became a minor injury. Shoulder is reset, just needs a sling and the burns are first degree so they just need to be dressed. Take her upstairs, dress her burns and come back, okay?” he said, and Hayley had to admit she found it kind of hot.

“Yes, Dr. Mikaelson,” the intern said and grabbed the gurney the patient was on. Hayley smirked, and pushed her own gurney into trauma room 2. Gia followed her inside.

“Okay. Missy Dietler, 37, GCS of 10, lost consciousness en route to the hospital. Suffers from smoke inhalation and third degree burns to the arms and chest. Let’s hook her up to monitors and start a central line. I need ten of morphine,” she ordered. “Get me the FAST!” she added as she injected the morphine into the patient. She grabbed the fast and cut the material of the woman’s shirt. Her abdomen was bruised and distended. “FAST is positive, page me General!” she yelled, now grabbing her pen light. “Pupils are equal and reactive, that’s good,” she added. Just then, the doors to the trauma room opened to reveal Klaus.

“Okay, what do we have?” he asked her.

“Missy Dietler, 37. GCS of 10, but pupils are equal and reactive. Gave her ten of morphine. She’s got smoke inhalation and third degree burns to the arms and chest. FAST is positive, with fluid in the left upper quadrant,” she reported.

“We need to take her up to the O.R.,” Klaus said, nodding. “Gia, book an O.R. STAT,” he ordered. Outside the trauma room they could hear arguing, but then the monitors started beeping and Hayley rushed over to examine the airways.

“Oh my God!” she yelled. “Airways. We need to intubate her now,” she said. “Scope!” The nurse handed her one and she inserted it down the patient’s throat. “Damn it, I can’t visualize anything,” she muttered, shaking her head. “We need to crike her,” she said, glancing over at Klaus, “15-blade,” she sat, holding out her head.

“Easy there, love,” Klaus said calmly. “Just take a deep breath and concentrate, okay?” She nodded, flashing him a quick smile. Gia squirted some iodine on the patient’s skin, and Hayley took a deep breath, then pressed the scalpel to the skin and made the necessary incision. “There we are,” Klaus said softly. “Give her a tube,” he ordered, and the nurse handed her one. Then, turning to her, he muttered, "so, I guess we should get my paternity test, shouldn't we? When were you planning on telling me that part?” Hayley’s brow furrowed in confusion. _What was he talking about?_ “Honestly, Hayley,” he had the nerve to roll his eyes. “You should have told me about that before,” he told her. “We could have it taken care of, already,” he added in a softer tone.

“What?” she asked, still confused. Then, she stopped. Realized just what Jackson had said earlier. _Oh. Oh, so that’s what he was talking about. Leave it to Klaus to bring this up while I’m holding a scalpel._ “He was being a dick. His name isn't on the birth certificate,” she shook her head. “He wanted to adopt her, but I wouldn't let him. I mean, we should probably get her birth certificate amended to get you put on it, but Jackson has no claim to her whatsoever,” she told him.

“The bloody bastard,” Klaus muttered, shaking his head as they began dressing some of the burns.

“O.R. 4 is free,” Gia said, grabbing their attention.

“Okay, let’s move!” Klaus yelled and the trauma doors opened as they began pushing the gurney out. Hayley couldn’t help but sneak another glance at Elijah. He’d taken charge of the E.R. and was ordering the junior doctors and moving the patients along, and she couldn’t help but find it all incredibly attractive.

“So, how did Elijah take it?” Klaus asked once the two of them and their patient were in the elevator, heading for the O.R. She gave him a look, and he nodded in understanding. “I take it not well. Are you two okay now?”

She nodded and flashed him a tense smile, “yeah, we’re… we’re okay now. We’ll be okay,” she told him. “So, I take it you didn’t murder my soon-to-be ex-husband?”

Klaus snorted as the elevator stopped and the doors opened and they began pushing the gurney towards the O.R. “Nope. Camille prevented that with the Code White. But, if it’s any comfort, I wanted to,” he said. The nurses and orderlies took to preparing the patient while the two of them went to the scrub room.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t get suspended or arrested,” she told him, smirking slightly as she began tying her mask. “Thanks, though.”

She was just about to grab the bar of soap to scrub when the doors to the scrub room opened and in came a second year resident.

“They said to get you to come back to the E.R.,” the resident announced, clearly nervous.

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“No, just that they need you down,” the resident shook his head.

“So, in exchange for Dr. Marshall do I get you?” Klaus wondered as he scrubbed.

“Uh… yes. Yes,” the resident said nervously.

“Well, I suppose you’ll do then,” Klaus said smirking.

“You sure?” she asked, turning over to him.

“Well, if they’re calling you down, you have to go. I’ll be fine. I’m sure this one could use some O.R. time,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eye. Hayley was suddenly very worried for said resident, whose badge read Dwayne Walker.

“Erm… right. Okay. Well, good luck,” she said, pulling off her mask and throwing it in the medical waste bin before pulling off her scrub cap and racing to the stairs.

* * *

The E.R. was still in chaos, patients everywhere, surgeons stretching themselves between gurneys against the walls and trauma rooms. Jo was nowhere to be seen, though Hayley assumed she’d gotten pulled into a surgery. Keelin was treating some of the minor injuries while directing people at the same time. She heard doors slamming, and she turned to find Elijah exiting a trauma bay.

“We need more blood!” he yelled. “Has anyone called the blood bank?” he shouted. A nurse shook her head. “Well, call them!” he snapped, shaking his head in exasperation

“Help,” someone groaned, choking and Hayley’s attention snapped over to a patient on a gurney against the wall. “H- help… I- I c- ccan’t… breathe,” he gasped as Hayley approached him. His tag was green.

“Sir? Were you in the fire?” she asked, reaching to search for a pulse, but the man’s neck was covered in burns and she kept moving her fingers around, searching frantically for a pulse. “Sir, you’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

“Y- yeah… m-” he choked and began panting and gasping for air, thrashing wildly, a fearful look in his eyes as the monitors started beeping rapidly.

“I need a crash cart over here STAT!” she shouted, pushing down the gurney. 

“We need to intubate him!” It was Elijah, and Hayley flashed him a quick smile as she hooked the patient to the heart monitor.

“Scope!” she ordered, and held her hand out. Elijah handed her the scope, and she bent down as she tried to insert it into the patient’s mouth. “Damn it, I can’t visualize. What the hell happened here? His tag was green!” she yelled. 

“Who tagged this man green?” Elijah yelled, and turned to do a quick scan of the room, but no one said anything, and a few doctors shrugged. “No one,” he muttered, and she could hear the angry edge in his tone. “Well, it must have been someone cause he had a green tag!” he shouted, but everyone went back to their patients.

“Elijah!” she snapped, grabbing his attention. “We need to crike him,” she told him, holding out her hand. She didn’t even need to tell him to hand her a 15-blade.

Elijah turned to her, “okay, Hayley, just steady,” he said in a softer tone, coming to stand right next to her. “You can do this, okay? Just focus on the sound of my voice. Breathe, Hayley,” he continued, so she did, concentrating on his soft voice as she made the incision. “Not too much pressure… that’s it,” he said softly as she finished the incision.

“Tube please,” she requested, and he handed her one wordlessly, and she inserted it. “Bag him,” she ordered. The monitors started going off again, and she quickly started CPR, pressing her hands against his chest. “Starting CPR,” she muttered breathlessly.

“Switch,” Elijah told someone.

“No pulse,” she muttered shaking her head. She looked up at the monitor. “Crap. He’s in V-fib. Get me the paddles! Charge to 150,” she said breathlessly and grabbed the paddles. “Clear!” Nothing.

Elijah took over doing CPR.

“Charge to 200,” she ordered as Elijah continued to pump his chest. “Clear!” Both Elijah and Sophie who had taken over bagging moved away.

Still, nothing.

“Resuming CPR,” Elijah whispered, glancing over at the monitor worriedly. Sophie was bagging once again. “Get me 1 of epi!” he added.

“Charge to 250. C’mon,” she muttered, panting slightly. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Damn it,” Elijah cursed under his breath as he restarted CPR. “Push another one of epi!”

“Charge to 300!” she ordered, her heart hammering in her chest. “Clear!”

Still, nothing.

“Hayley,” Elijah whispered quietly, and she could hear it in his voice, he was ready to call it. But, she wasn’t.

“No,” she shook her head vehemently. “Charge again! Charge again!” she ordered.

“Hayley,” Elijah repeated, and she could hear the slight tremor in his voice. He was still pumping the patient’s chest.

“No,” she shook her head. “I am not giving up. Charge again!” she ordered and grabbed the paddles. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Damn it!” she yelled.

“Hayley,” Elijah said slowly, though more firmly this time. “We’ve been at this for forty minutes,” he said gently. She could see he was getting tired, sweat coating his brow.

“And? That’s not nearly enough time,” she snapped, turning towards. “If you’re tired, I’ll take over, but we are not stopping. This man was a green tag either by mistake or on purpose, but that means that we are going to let him live. Okay?”

“Okay,” Elijah nodded. “Let’s switch.”

They did, but that made no difference, except now her arms ached.

“Damn it,” she panted, feeling sweat trickle down her brow. “Let’s push another one of epi!” she yelled. Elijah pushed down the epi and she continued to pump, but nothing.

It had been thirty minutes. Seventy minutes in total.

“Let’s switch again,” he muttered, not even arguing with her. Around them, the E.R. was still buzzing, patients being tagged, sent to trauma rooms then O.R.’s, or just sent to recovery. They switched, and Elijah started CPR again. Sophie continued to bag.

“Okay, let’s charge to 150!” she ordered and grabbed the paddles. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Charge to 180,” she ordered. She shouted, “clear!” again.

Still, nothing. Elijah resumed CPR.

“Charge to 200,” she ordered. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Damn it,” she panted.

“Hayley, we’ve been at this for a while,” Elijah said gently.

“I’m not stopping. If you want to stop, go ahead. But, I’m not stopping. I’m not letting go,” she told him firmly, though her voice was shaking with emotion.

Elijah sighed, “okay,” and resumed CPR.

“Charge to 250,” she ordered. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Charge to 300!” she ordered, gasping for breath. “Clear!”

Elijah shook his head, “Hayley,” he said gently.

“Don’t tell me to stop, Elijah,” she shook her head. “Don’t you dare tell me to stop,” she said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Please,” she added in a pleading tone. “Please don’t tell me to stop,” she begged. But, Elijah had stopped doing CPR. Hayley’s vision blurred. “No, please, Elijah, please don’t,” she muttered, shaking her head.

“It’s been over an hour, Hayley. I know you want to save him, but we can’t save everyone,” he said gently. She dropped the paddles. Well, if he was giving up, that didn’t mean she was. She laced her fingers together and positioned her fists and began to pump as Sophie continued to bag.

“Come on, come on, come on,” she panting, pumping the patient’s chest, pushing with all her force. But then, Elijah’s arms were around hers, strong and firm, and Hayley wanted to resist, wanted to push him away, but she was so tired and his arms were safe and warm, so she just let him pull her away.

Elijah nodded at Sophie, and the nurse stopped bagging. He glanced at his watch as he still held her with one arm. “Time of death 2047,” he said and she choked back a sob. “C’mon,” he said to her, and she felt him pull her along, so she pulled away

“I’m fine. I got paged down here for a reason,” she said, shaking her head. “I can- I can work. I’m fine,” she sniffled, and wiped at her eyes. “Really, Elijah, I’m fine,” she told him, but her voice shook.

“You are not fine, Hayley,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you go take a walk?” he suggested.

“I don’t need to. I’m fine. Really. I’ll, uh, I’ll just go back to work. Thanks,” she told him, stepping away from him.

“Hayley,” Elijah said, “it’s okay to be affected like this. It’s okay to need a break.” His voice was gentle and soft, and he was looking her with so much emotion in his eyes. “Just take a walk, okay? Just go outside and take a walk, okay? Then, you can come back and-” he suggested, but she cut him off.

“I don’t need a walk, Elijah!” she snapped, and Elijah flinched, taking a step back. “I’m fine. I just need to work!” she yelled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“I am just trying to help you,” he said, a little more inflection in his voice.

“I don’t need your help! Like I said, I am fine! I just need to work. Just because J-” she cut herself off, swallowing back tears, “just because _he_ is back doesn’t mean I’m about to break! I’m not a fucking china, Elijah! I am not fragile. I just need to work!” she yelled. Elijah sighed and his shoulders slumped as he stepped back. Hayley wanted to take the words back, but the damage had been done. Hayley opened her mouth to say something, anything but was interrupted by Jo.

“Elijah, we need you. Trauma room 3,” she said, and Elijah nodded.

“Thanks,” he muttered, and turned, going to grab a trauma gown, not sparing her another glance.

“Damn it,” she cursed under her breath.

“And you,” Jo turned to her. “Go outside, take a breather, Marshall. And, Chief wants to see you when you get back in. That’s an order.” This time, she didn’t protest, and stalked off, pulling out her phone as she stepped out of the E.R.

It occurred to her just now as she walked past the interns and residents still taking incoming traumas that she hadn’t checked her phone since her last surgery which had actually been before Jackson showed up. And, her phone had been on silent the whole time. Now, it was flooded with messages and missed calls, many of them from Aiden. _Crap_ , she thought as she realized something. And then, dread filled her as she scanned the messages. Jackson had gone to Aiden’s while Hope was there. Hayley read the messages horrified, but let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding when she finally figured out that Hope was okay. And, Aiden had been trying to warn her that her daughter had accidentally revealed her location to Jackson and he had stormed off. She sighed and pressed the call button.

“Hales! Thank God. What the fuck? I’ve been calling you for ages. Why weren’t you picking up?” he fired rapidly, not missing a beat.

“Hey, Aiden,” she said weakly as she leaned against the wall behind her.

“Oh, Hales,” Aiden sighed heavily. “What happened?” he asked, his tone more gentle.

She half-chuckled, “what do you think? He showed up here, thinking he could just fucking order me to go back with him,” she told him, her head bumping against the wall slightly.

“Fuck. Hales, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him, but then Hope mentioned St. John’s and he just lost it,” Aiden told her.

“Probably for the best,” she sighed. “Thanks for trying to warn me, I had my phone off and then he showed up, and then there was a crapload of drama,” she shook her head even though he couldn’t see her.

“How did Elijah take it?” he wondered.

At the mention of her boyfriend, Hayley closed her eyes and sighed heavily.

“Hales,” Aiden said softly. “How bad was it?”

“It was- it was pretty bad. I- not telling him the truth hurt him and things… he just didn’t take it well,” she said, and sniffled.

“Oh God. He didn’t. I am going to murder him! Are you okay?” he asked quickly, and it finally dawned on Hayley what her words might have sounded like. And, all things considered, Aiden could have gotten an entirely different message.

“Oh my God! No!” she said quickly, a little more loudly. “He didn’t- he would never, Aiden. Elijah would never do that. _Never_. He isn’t Jackson. He would never lay a hand on me. We just had a fight, but we talked it out. We’re fine now,” she told him, her voice filled with conviction. “Well, unless you count me lashing out at him just now over a patient,” she added, putting her face in her hand.

“I’m sorry, Hayley, I just-” he cut himself off. “I know he wouldn’t hurt you, but still.”

“I know. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I wasn’t thinking,” she sighed. “Gods, I am such a mess,” she added. “How is Hope, though?”

“She’s fine, as usual,” Aiden told her and recounted Hope’s day in detail. “She’s an angel, Hales,” he added at the end.

“Good, I’m glad. Kiss her for me, okay? I, uh, I should go call Lisina. I need to get a restraining order. And, I need to go tell the Chief that my devil of a husband is here. Ugh,” she groaned. “And, all I wanted to do today was work, she grumbled.

“Well, unfortunately, we can’t always get what we want. Want me to put Hope on for a minute?”

“Uh, sure,” she sighed, sniffling. There was some shuffling, and seconds later, her daughter’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Mommy!” Hope squealed, delighted.

“Hey there, baby girl,” Hayley said evenly, and swallowed back tears. “How was your day?”

“Amazing! Aiden let me have a tea party with him and Bunny!” she exclaimed.

“That’s wonderful, sweetie,” Hayley said weakly, her vision blurring.

“I miss you,” Hope told her.

“I miss you, too, sweetie. So much. But, I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yes!” Hope exclaimed. “I love you, mommy.”

“I love you, too, baby girl,” she said, smiling through her tears. “Bye.”

It was Aiden again, “okay, I’m going to go put her to bed. You holding up okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks, Aiden,” she told him.

“No problem,” he told her before hanging up. Hayley let out a heavy sigh and opened her recent calls, scrolling down till she found Lisina, her lawyer.

* * *

After talking to Lisina, who told her she could get her an emergency restraining order, then agreeing to meet the next date to get a proper TRO, Hayley headed back inside. The E.R. was still buzzing, but it looked like it had slowed down. She scanned it for Elijah, but he was nowhere in sight, so she headed for the elevators and to the Chief’s office. She hadn’t been to the Chief’s office in a while now, not since her first day, but the way there was easy to figure out. Chief Vincent Griffith was working at his desk and she knocked softly.

“Come in!” he called out, so she pushed down the knob and pushed the door open. “Ah. Dr. Marshall, come in,” he said, clicking his pen and turning to her.

“You wanted to see me, Chief?” she asked him as she stood in the middle of the office, crossing her arms over her chest nervously.

The Chief cleared his throat, “well, I wanted to know why a Code White was called. When I asked about it, I was informed to ask you,” he told her.

Hayley exhaled slowly, her shoulders slumping. “I didn’t call the Code White. Dr. O’Connell did,” she said.

“I sense a ‘but’ coming,” he said, lacing his fingers together and cracking his knuckles.

She took a deep breath, “well, the truth is… the truth is that the code was called because of me,” she finally said, and the Chief’s eyes widened. “I-” she cut herself off again, and took another deep breath, bracing herself, “before I came here I-” she stopped herself again. Gods, this was harder than she had thought. And, she wasn’t even telling Vincent the whole ugly truth.

“It’s okay, Hayley,” he sounded kind, unlike the usual Chief. “Take your time. Why don’t you take a seat. Glass of water?”

“Sure, thanks,” she said, and he handed her one, and she took a few sips. “Um, I’m getting a divorce,” she finally said and Vincent stared at her, confused. This time, she understood that to him the only partner she could have was Elijah. “Not from Elijah,” she said, shaking her head. “I- before I came here, I was married. Now, I’m getting a divorce and my husband… he’s not taking it well.” That was an understatement, but Vincent didn’t need to know that. “I’m getting a restraining order against him. My lawyer’s working on it. His name is Jackson Kenner, and he showed up here today. That’s why Cami called the code,” she said, and the Chief nodded, the implications of that clear.

“I understand,” he nodded. “What do you need from me? I don’t need the details, but if someone who is, well, violent, for lack of better word, shows up, I need to make sure my staff and my patients are all safe,” he told her. She took another sip of her water.

“Just… if he shows up here, security should be alerted,” she told him with a sigh. “Like I said, I’ll have a restraining order against him, but that won’t be enough to stop him. It needs to be enforced.”

Vincent nodded, “okay. Understood. Thank you for telling me,” he said, and she stood up. But, before she got to the door, he stopped her. “Dr. Marshall. Hayley. Do you need some time off? Or, to talk to someone about this? Divorce is not an easy thing,” he told her kindly.

Her expression softened, “no, I’m fine. I just- I need to work, Chief. Is that okay?”

“That’s perfectly fine,” he said. “Have a good evening,” he told her, his tone slightly dismissive.

“You, too, Chief,” she said and opened the door, stepping out.

* * *

After talking to the Chief, Hayley went back to the E.R., where she spent most of the rest of her shift. And, unfortunately, she didn’t see Elijah at all. Maybe that was just as well. Maybe they needed time off. She knew that even though they had talked about Jackson, and how she had hurt him not telling him and how he had hurt her by not listening to her, they were far from being fully okay. And, maybe, Elijah needed some time to himself. And, she needed a drink. Which was why, after shift was over, she didn’t head home or to Elijah’s, and instead headed to Russeau’s.

“Hayley? Whatcha doin’ here, girl?!” Keelin exclaimed as soon as Hayley came over to the bar.

Hayley shrugged, “just… needed a drink,” she said. “Can I get a shot of tequila?” she shouted at the bartender

“Make that a double!” Keelin shouted, scooting closer to her. “So, what’s up with you?”

“Well,” she drawled, “my husband showed up today. Not entirely out of the blue because I filed for a divorce as soon as I was legally allowed to. And, I hadn’t told my boyfriend who I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with that I was married. So, that went well,” she admitted.

“Damn, girl! Wait, married? What?” Keelin yelled just as the bartender set the two glasses of tequila in front of them. She seemed to realize what Hayley had implied, “oh shit. Damn, girl. Is that why you moved here end of fourth year?” Hayley just nodded.

“So, your turn?”

“Well, I… I told Freya Mikaelson I kind of have a thing for her. And, she told me she’s my boss. My boss’ boss for that matter. So, that went well,” Keelin confessed, and Hayley’s eyes widened.

“Freya? Damn,” she said. “Well, Keelin, bottom’s up,” she said, grabbing the shot glass. Keelin sprinkled the salt on the back of her hand, but Hayley didn’t do that. When the other woman gave her confused look, Hayley just shrugged, “I just like drinking it like this.”

“Well, then, bottom’s up,” Keelin said and they looped their hands before tipping the glasses back. The tequila burned, but Hayley didn’t care, and she reached for the lime slice, sucking on it.

“So, how did Elijah take it?”

“Well, he thought we were having an affair. Which is obviously not true,” she said.

“You guys all good now, though?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Hayley nodded. “Hey, can we get two double shots of tequila here?!” she yelled at the bartender as music blared around them. “Now, what’s going on with Freya?”

“Well, maybe you know since you’re part of the fam,” Keelin shrugged. The bartender slid them their glasses and they downed both shots in one go. Hayley was briefly reminded of college and med school before she had Hope when she used to go out all night, partying and drinking too much. For once, it felt good. For once, it felt simple.

“I’ve no idea about that. Freya’ s never mentioned anyone – man or woman,” she quipped. “Do you really like her?”

Keelin nodded, “yeah, I really do. And, it’s so weird cause we don’t really work together, but I was on her service for a few weeks and… and, she’s funny, and smart, and gorgeous and all I’ve been wanting to do since going back to the E.R. is kiss her.” They took another shot and ordered more.

Hayley snorted, “damn, you’re so whipped! I can’t blame you though,” she said, reaching for another glass.

“Yeah, but does she see me that way?” Keelin shook her head and they took their shots.

“She’d be an idiot not to. Cause you’re smokin’ hot. And, smart. And, badass. Honestly, I think Freya would be lucky to have you,” she said. Another shot.

Keelin sighed, “we’ll see I guess. What about Elijah?”

“What about him?” she quipped, her words a little slurred.

“What’s going on with you two?” Keelin asked her.

“Well, he doesn’t hate me and he didn’t leave me for what I did,” she muttered, and took another shot. “Oh, and I told him I love him, but he didn’t say it back. Things are good,” she said drily and took another shot, the alcohol no longer burning her throat as badly and slowly numbing everything else. And, another shot.

* * *

Elijah didn’t see Hayley for the rest of the shift. He had to admit, her words stung, but he knew she was just lashing out after what happened with the patient. So, instead, he just focused on work to get through the rest of the shift. The night had been weirdly reminiscent of his army days, and he had to admit that part of him did enjoy taking charge of the situation, the adrenaline rush that came with it. But, after shift was done and he changed back into his suit, the events of the day flooded back in as he stood in the middle of his office before leaving. What happened in the lobby, Cami calling the code, him dragging Hayley to his office. Hayley telling him she was married, the betrayal he felt, the pain and hurt, even if he deserved it, had almost crippled him. But, then, he remembered something else. That Hayley hadn’t told him because she’d been afraid, that she hadn’t known how to tell him, and the truth about her and Jackson. She wasn’t running on a whim from her husband. She was running away because she was scared for herself and for her daughter. Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose. He had the urge to throw something else at the wall, but this time the frustrations would be over Jackson and the pain he had caused Hayley, not his anger with his girlfriend over the betrayal he’d felt. He sighed and shook his head. In this moment, he desperately craved a drink. Because losing himself in a bottle of whiskey would be much easier than facing what happened. But, he wasn’t going to do that. So, instead he got into his car and drove to the gym he frequented often. After changing into gym clothes, he wrapped his hands, then headed straight for the punching bag.

He curled his fists and positioned himself. And, swung. Hard. And, again. As he did, he remembered the scene in the lobby, how hesitant Hayley was being, how she was trying to step back from Jackson, the edge in her voice. She had been afraid. The thought filled him with dread. He swung again, and his fist connected with the punching bag. Bam! The punching bag swung as his fist connected with it again, hard. Then, he remembered how she had flinched in his office. Because he had lost his temper and thrown a glass at a wall. How many glasses had Jackson thrown and shattered like that? _How many had Hayley flinched like that?_ Again, he swung, this time his leg. Then, his fist again. And, again.

He panted as he continued to swing, his fists connecting with the punching bag.

_“I should- I should go,” she started nervously, moving towards the door._ At first, he’d dismissed it as recklessness. But, now he realized what it was. She had been willing to leave, to go back out there with Jackson there because of him. So, that it would be easier on him. Because she knew how hurt he was. And, she didn’t want to cause _him_ any more pain. So, she’d been willing to go out there to Jackson, so that she wouldn’t be hurting _him_. And, he had told her he couldn’t even look at her. Bam! Clang! Elijah swung again, and his fist connected once more with the punching bag, which swung, the chain holding it in place making a clanging sound.

He remembered how she had practically begged him to listen to her, but he wouldn’t. She’d been crying, and he’d pretended not to notice. Really, that was because one look at Hayley crying, and he would have wanted to gather her in his arms and never let her go. He swung. And, punched. Again. And, again. And, again. Each time his fist connected with the punching bag, Elijah pushed more memories away, except more resurfaced.

_“And, I was vulnerable. And, he was sweet. And, good to me. Good to Hope.”_ Her words rang in his ears. Jackson had taken advantage of her. Of her vulnerable position. The thought made Elijah sick. He swung again, his fist connecting with the punching bag with a loud, booming sound, and he grunted. And, swung again. And, again.

_“It wasn't until we had been married for a while that I realized how controlling he is. How possessive.”_ Elijah panted and swung again, his fists connecting with the punching bag. The thought of Hayley, the woman he had fallen for, the woman he loved being treated like that, like a possession, like an object, disgusted him. _God, I’m a fucking idiot!_ He swung and punched again, his fists connecting more rapidly with the punching bag, more rhythmically.

_“_ _Or, rather, that I started to recognize that as abuse and started wondering how long I had before he started hitting me-” she paused and shuddered visibly, “or, Hope.”_ The thought of Jackson, or anyone else for that matter, laying even a finger on Hayley or Hope made Elijah want to drop to his knees. So, he swung. And, punched. Bam! Again. And, again.

And then, she had started to cry, had broken down, but still she had cared about him and his pain. Elijah swung and punched again.

_A tear slid down her cheek and she sniffled, “Elijah,” she said slowly, her voice shaking, “please say something… anything, please,” she all but begged. “Please look at me. Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just- I just wanted to protect my daughter. And, myself. I’m so sorry.” And then, she put her face in her hands and started to cry, her whole body shaking with sobs._

The fact that after admitting all of that to him, after finally opening up to him about her past she had to apologize to him because he had been so stupid and had ignored her. With a low grunt, he swung his leg, then his fists. Hard. He didn’t care if his knuckles would be bruised the next day.

He couldn’t take it any more then, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him as her body was wracked by sobs. _“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she muttered repeatedly, like a mantra. “Forgive me, Elijah… forgive me, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she added as he held her, and finally let himself cry, too._

Elijah shook his head, and swung, his fists connecting with the punching bag, and he pushed the memory away. He’d been filled with shame then. He still was.

_“There weren’t a lot of residents at my old hospital, but I managed to make friends with a few and we’d go out. But, Jackson started controlling how often that was. Went from once a week to once every two weeks, then once a month, once every few months until…”_ He had understood right then and there. After all, that was textbook. Isolate her until she had no one to turn to. Elijah swung again and punched. He had stalked and spied on her and she hadn’t felt safe. Elijah winced at that. 

_“I just felt so alone,” she admitted, and let out a sob. “I used to cry on the bathroom floor almost every night.”_ That was the part that he most hated. He’d never even seen it, and yet he could imagine, if he closed his eyes, Hayley sitting or lying on a cold bathroom floor crying her eyes out. The very thought appalled him. Elijah grunted and braced himself. Then, he swung. And, his fist connected with the punching bag. Hard. But, he didn’t care. The thought of Hayley going through that, enduring that, was revolting. So, Elijah imagined Jackson Kenner’s face instead of that punching bag and swung. 


	28. I Should Have Known, I Should Have Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Elijah's secret avoidance of each other ends when they're forced to work on a case that hits too close to home for both of them and forces them to confront some truths. When Elijah has a night shift, Rebekah invites the girls for a girls' night/sleepover

Sometime after midnight, Hayley thought it was 02:30am, but she wasn’t one hundred percent sure since her vision was all blurry and she was stumbling, they decided to leave. Keelin called a cab, and the two of them stumbled outside, leaning against each other.

“You sure you don’t want to come with?” the other woman asked her as the two of them sat down in front of the bar. “Man, I haven’t been this drunk since med school,” she said, groaning slightly. “I’m going to be so hungover tomorrow,” she whined, pouting.

“Ugh, tell me about it,” she said as she fumbled through her purse, trying to find her phone. _Why did her purse have to have so many pockets?_ She heard something jingle and touched cool metal. Oh. So, apparently she drove here. _Good to know._ “Ah!” she exclaimed, finally finding her phone.

“Found it?”

“Yup. Now, who to call?” she wondered, mostly to herself. She opened her recent calls. Not Lisina. Aiden had Hope. Elijah was, obviously, at the top of her list, but she didn’t dare call him. She scrolled down, and her finger hovered above Klaus’ name. She hesitated for a second, and figured she didn’t have any other alternatives, so she dialed. The phone rang once, twice, and Klaus answered on the third ring.

“Hello, love,” he greeted her groggily.

“Uh… hi?” she said, though it sounded more like a question.

“Hayley? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” he asked her, and she heard shuffling around and whispering.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she said almost too quickly, her words a little slurred. “I just- can you, uh, can you come pick me up?”

“Pick you up? Where are you- wait, are you drunk?”

“Not really. Just a little drunky. I’m fine really!” she said, her voice sounding high-pitched.

“You’re wasted, Hayley,” Klaus said matter-of-factly. “Where are you?”

“Russeau’s,” she said.

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” he told her.

“Actually, I, uh, I have my keys. So, you can just take a cab here and drive my car,” she told him, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes. See you soon,” he told her and hung up.

Keelin’s cab had arrived, and the two of them exchanged goodbyes before the other woman got in and drove off. And, true to his words, a little more than five minutes after she had called, Klaus got out of a cab and headed towards her, and she staggered slightly as she stood. He reached to steady her, and held out his hands, so she handed him the keys.

“Thanks,” she muttered as he led her to her car, keeping one hand on her arm. He opened the passenger door for her, and she got in before he rounded the car and got into the driver’s seat, adjusting the mirror and his seat.

“So, would you like to tell me why you called me and not Elijah?” he wondered as he started the ignition.

She bit her lip, hesitating, "he's… not far enough in his recovery for me to be comfortable asking him to pick me up at a bar. Especially with how stressful today was. The guy could probably _really_ use a drink. I'm not making this any harder on him than it already is,” she said shaking her head. No, after everything, the last thing she wanted was hurt Elijah, or make him uncomfortable in any way.

Klaus nodded, “I see,” as he pulled out of the parking spot. “And, why do I sense there is something else?”

Hayley sighed, and looked out the window for a second before turning back to the father of her child, “well, I may have lashed out at him after losing a patient. Jo had to send me to get some air. So, even if he was further in his recovery, I don’t really feel like facing him,” she said, and looked down.

“Okay. So, where to?” Klaus asked her, seemingly understanding that she didn’t want to talk about it. Or, maybe that now wasn’t the right time.

“Oh, just drop me off at my place. You can get a cab back to yours,” she shrugged.

Klaus half-chuckled and shook his head, “oh, no. The plan is for me to stay with you, love. And, don’t even try to argue. It’s your choice really, either you come back to my place, or I can crash on your couch. But, you are _not_ be alone while he’s in town,” he said firmly, and from the disgusting in his tone when he said ‘he’, Hayley understood just who he meant. Well, there was no point in arguing with Klaus. The man was stubborn.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping in defeat, “my place. You can just crash on the couch,” she said, and rested her head against the passenger door, her eyelids becoming heavy. She didn’t even try to fight sleep when it came as Klaus stopped at a red light.

* * *

Elijah spent the next two days mostly at the gym with the punching bag. His knuckles were bruised, but he didn’t care. With each punch, he tried to push a memory of that day away, hoping that it would feel like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, that he would feel better, but he never did. So, he continued to take it out on the punching bag, fueled by anger, guilt, and pain, but he had to admit, the anger wasn’t directed at Jackson Kenner, not really. Sure, he loathed the guy with every fiber of his being in a way that he hadn’t hated someone in a long time. But, the person he was really angry with was himself. The person he was really punishing was himself. _Because he should have known._

Elijah swung and threw the next punch, and the punching bag swung several times. His alarm rang and he glanced at his sports watch. It was time to go to work. And, work meant seeing Hayley, who he hadn’t seen in two days since she’d lashed out at him after losing a patient. With a sigh, Elijah unwrapped his hands, grabbed his gym bag and headed for the shower. After taking a quick shower, he changed into jeans and a t-shirt, pulling his jacket on, and left the gym.

He jogged over to his car, threw his gym bag in the trunk and turned on the engine, then pulled out of the parking lot. His phone rang. It was Lexi, his sponsor. _Just great._

“Hey,” he said as he pulled into the next lane, heading for the hospital.

“Oh, hey, Elijah,” she said, though he could hear the anger in her tone. “How are you? Long time no see,” she told him.

He groaned, “Lexi, please don’t start,” he shook his head in exasperation, though she couldn’t see him.

“Don’t start? Excuse me? There was a meeting yesterday that you missed. I haven’t seen you in a week. Elijah, you and I both know how this ends. You miss one meeting, then it’s two, then you have a bad day and you need a drink, and it’s goodbye four months of sobriety,” she told him and he could practically picture the look on her face. “Am I hitting warm?”

“Piping hot,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, I’ve been at the gym, you don’t have to worry. Still four months sober. Just needed to punch something,” he said.

“Oh? Because that’s healthy,” she quipped, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Actually, it is,” he retorted. “I’ve just needed to let off some steam,” he added in a gentler tone.

“Uh uh, she muttered, sounding unimpressed. “And, why is that? And, don’t lie, you know the deal,” she added.

“Hayley’s abusive husband is in town. She filed for divorce, so he’s here. And, I didn’t know about it until the asshole showed up in the lobby,” he sighed.

“Oh, Elijah,” Lexi muttered sympathetically. “Are you and Hayley okay?”

“Yeah, we’re, uh, I mean we didn’t break up. I just-” he stopped himself and closed his eyes. This was Lexi, his sponsor, he reminded himself. “I should have known. I should have known. I mean, we’ve been dating for five months and I- I didn’t know,” he sighed and reached to pinch the bridge of his nose with his free hand, the other one gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Oh, Elijah,” she repeated. “You shouldn’t beat yourself up over this, you couldn’t have known,” she said and paused. “Look, I don’t know Hayley the way you do, but from what you’ve told me, she sounds like she cares about you. So, just talk to her, but don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“Thanks,” he said, though he didn’t sound convinced.

“Look, there’s a meeting tomorrow evening. We’re going, I don’t even want to hear your argument. If you don’t come, I am not above coming over and dragging your ass there. Okay?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow,” he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Bye,” Lexi said and hung up just as Elijah reached the hospital. After parking and grabbing his bag, he headed inside and for his office since he had a few consults. 

Elijah had just finished his last consult when his pager beeped. It was the E.R. There was an incoming, and Elijah wondered if it would be just his luck and Hayley would get paged, too. He knew he needed to talk to her, he knew this avoidance of theirs was stupid and childish, though part of him knew that maybe they did need some time off. _But, how much time was enough?_ He shook his head as he stood up from his desk, throwing his lab coat on the desk since he probably wouldn’t need it if there was an incoming, and just slinging his stethoscope around his neck, grabbing his scrub cap, badge and penlight. His pager beeped again, and he quickened his pace, taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevators. The E.R. was unsurprisingly abuzz with patients, and he walked straight past the nurses’ desk, grabbing a trauma gown before heading to the ambulance bay. And, it was exactly his luck, Hayley was standing there, fiddling with the strings of her trauma gown. With a sigh, he put on his own trauma gown, and walked towards her, his body mere inches from hers. Hayley stiffened briefly, and inhaled sharply, and Elijah kicked himself. _What if she thought it was Jackson?_ He couldn’t bear the thought, and he shook his head, pushing it away.

“Allow me,” he said softly, and she visibly relaxed, and Elijah felt a pang in his chest as she let go of the strings and he took them, tying them gently but quickly, trying not to think too much about the jolt of electricity he felt when he barely brushed his finger against the back of her neck, or how her scent drove him insane. She smelled like lavender and a little woody from her perfume and something citrusy from her shampoo, and Elijah had to steel himself to keep from pushing her against the wall and kissing her senseless. He shook his head and inhaled sharply, then let go of her trauma gown.

“Thanks,” she whispered softly, though she didn’t turn around yet. And then, she did, and Elijah’s heart clenched. There was an apprehension in her eyes, a hesitation, and she pursed her lips nervously. Then, she shook her head, “turn around, I’ll do you,” she ordered.

He did as told, then felt her body against his, and felt a shiver run down his spine as Hayley grasped the strings of his trauma gown to tie them. He felt a flutter in his stomach as Hayley’s finger barely touched the back of his neck, and a jolt of electricity as their skin touched. He knew she’d finished tying his gown, but she didn’t move away, and he sensed her fingers hovering there, barely touching his skin. He cleared his throat.

“Right,” she muttered, and stepped back, and he turned around to face her. An awkward silence settled between them, and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he didn’t know what to say, so he just pursed his lips and looked away.

“Really, Elijah?” Hayley snapped, breaking the silence. “You’re not even going to say more than two words to me? You’re not even going to _look_ at me?” she demanded, and he could hear the hurt and pain in her voice, and he flinched.

He sighed, and looked up, meeting her gaze, “forgive me,” he said softly. “I just- I don’t know what to say…” he trailed off and shook his head.

“Well, how about you just start with ‘hi’?” she quipped, crossing her arms.

“Hi,” he breathed out, his lips stretching into a half smile.

“Hi,” she said softly, smiling as she stepped closer to him. Her gaze flickered to his lips, and so did his, and he wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t know if she would let him. Then, they both looked up, locking gazes once more. “You okay?”

“I’m better now,” he admitted. “I, uh, Niklaus called me and told me you were okay the other night,” he said for lack of anything else to say.

“Oh. Well, you could have called me yourself,” she bit back.

Elijah shook his head, and looked away briefly. “I just- I didn’t know if you wanted me to,” he admitted.

Hayley exhaled and her shoulders dropped, “of course I did, ‘Lijah. Of course, I did. I missed you,” she said softly, and sighed again.

“I missed you, too,” he replied, his own voice thick with emotion. “But, you didn’t call me, either,” he said, and even though he tried to hide it, the hurt was evident in his tone. “I could’ve picked you up,” he added.

“Oh. I, uh, I didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position,” she admitted, averting her gaze, and swallowed thickly.

He sighed, “Hayley, I’m not mad anymore, not even about what happened with the patient. If you called, I would have come to get you, you know that. Besides, I wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone with him around,” he told her, and she looked up, her green eyes meeting his.

“It- it’s not about that,” she said, licking her lips nervously. “I just-” she cut herself off, clearly nervous, and his stomach twisted with worry.

“What is it?” he asked softly, taking another step towards her. “Whatever it is… you can tell me. You know that,” he added, reaching to cup her cheek gently.

“I just- I just didn’t want to make things harder for you than they already were. It was a stressful day,” she said, and he furrowed his eyebrows, a little confused, though deep down, part of him knew why. He opened his mouth to ask her again, then closed it, deciding not to. “Okay, fine. You’re not far enough in your recovery, and I- I didn’t feel comfortable asking you to pick me up at a bar,” she finally said, and he couldn’t help but flinch, his hand dropping to his side, and he stepped back.

“Oh, right. I see,” he muttered. Part of him had known what she would say, had suspected it, and he knew that logically she was right. But, still. It stung.

“Elijah, I was just-” she started to say, but he didn’t want to hear it, or rather, he wasn’t ready to, so he cut her off.

“No, I understand. Really, Hayley, it’s fine. Thank you for your concern,” he said, shaking his head, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. She stepped towards him, reaching for him, but at that moment, the ambulance roared as it came to a stop in front of them, and they both rushed over. The ambulance doors opened, and Davina hopped out.

“Twenty-six-year-old Brooke Davis. Found unconscious in front of her home. She’s got major blunt force trauma, cuts and bruises, a broken wrist and leg. Shoulder is dislocated and she has bruises around her neck. Her airway might be compromised,” Davina ratted off as they pulled the gurney out of the ambulance. Elijah looked down, and inhaled sharply. Hayley gasped.

“Oh my God,” Hayley muttered, horrified, and when he glanced over at her, he noticed her eyes were filled with tears.

“Okay, let’s take her inside,” Hayley muttered, but Elijah didn’t move, frozen. She turned towards him, “Elijah?” she asked him gently. But, he didn’t say anything because finally he realized why the name of the patient had been so familiar. He knew this girl. “Elijah!” Hayley yelled to get his attention.

“I- I know this girl,” he muttered, shaking his head, and blinked rapidly as if it might be someone else. But, no, Davina had said Brooke Davis. And, beneath the bruising he could see Brooke’s caramel skin, her curly hair matted by blood.

“What do you mean you know this girl?” Hayley asked, looking at him in concern.

“She was my patient… I- I’ve treated her a couple of times in the E.R., but never something this serious,” he shook his head in disbelief. “What happened?”

“I think- I think we all know the answer to that,” Hayley said sadly. Elijah flinched. “Let’s take her inside,” she added quietly.

But, when Elijah looked back down at the patient, it wasn’t Brooke he saw. No, he saw chocolate brown, wavy hair matted by blood, he saw light skin covered in cuts and bruises, hazel eyes squeezed shut. He saw familiar hands, and an all-too familiar tattoo that said ‘joy’ written in cursive. He saw Hayley. Hayley, battered and bruised and hurt. And, he had the sinking realization that it could have been Hayley if she didn’t run to New Orleans, that Jackson could have done that to her. The image filled him with dread and fear that made him want to drop to his knees. He felt a hand grip his arm. No, not just any hand. Hayley’s hand, gentle and reassuring.

“You okay?” she whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts, the horrifying images that plagues his mind.

“Yeah…” he shook his head, “I’m fine. Let’s just get her inside,” he said. Once inside, he took charge. “We have a twenty-six-year-old female Brooke Davis suffering from major blunt force trauma, possibly bones, dislocated shoulder and a possibly compromised airway!” he yelled. “I need trauma series and a large-bore IV STAT! Hayley, get a FAST!” he ordered as nurses followed them into the trauma room.

“We need a CBC STAT!” Hayley yelled beside him as she listened with her stethoscope. “And, let’s hook her up to monitors! And, somebody get an intern in here, preferably not Lockwood!”

Brooke groaned.

“Get me 10 of morphine,” he yelled, holding out his hand for one. He leaned closer to the patient, “it’s okay, Brooke, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to give you something for the pain, you’re going to be okay,” he said, and injected the morphine into her IV.

“FAST is positive with fluid in the left upper quadrant. Page general STAT!” Hayley yelled.

“And, page neuro!” he added as the doors opened and Josh entered.

“Oh. My. God. What happened?”

“Josh, good, it’s you,” Hayley said breathlessly. “Brooke Davis. Domestic violence victim. Her vein’s collapsed, couldn’t get the IV in. Start a central line!” she ordered. “Oh, and Gia, get someone to call the police!” she yelled as she removed Brooke’s stabilizing collar.

Elijah quickly went to look at her arm, “yeah, this shoulder is dislocated, we need to pop it back in. Hayley, come here, I need you for traction,” he said. “Okay, Brooke, we need to pop your shoulder back in. It’s going to hurt a little, but we’ve give you morphine, so it should hurt less. Okay?” Brooke just whimpered. Elijah tried to concentrate on Brooke, but he couldn’t help but notice Hayley, the concentrated look on her face he found cute, the way she looked as she gripped Brooke’s shoulder. He shook his head, and quashed that down. “Ready?”

“Yup,” she nodded.

“One, two, three,” he said, and popped the shoulder, and Brooke arched her back, groaning in pain. Hayley quickly moved to put it in a sling as he went to look at her legs. The doors to the trauma room opened to reveal Niklaus and Meredith.

“Bloody hell! What happened?” he demanded, and Hayley turned to tell him. 

“Good God,” Meredith gasped, then jumped in to give the neuro exam.

“Hayley, should you even be treating her?” his brother asked his girlfriend and Elijah stiffened. “Elijah, how could you let her?” he asked and it occurred to Elijah what it must be like for her. He turned to her, horrified.

“Hayley, I’m sorry, I- you don’t have to-” he started, his voice shaky, and Hayley cut him off.

“No, it’s fine, Elijah. Honestly, I’m fine. I can do this,” she said. Niklaus gave her a look, but she shook her head. “Klaus, seriously. I’m fine.” The monitors started going off.

“Her pulse ox is going down. She needs a chest tube!” Hayley yelled.

“Page cardio STAT!” he shouted.

“Neuro exam is clear,” Meredith told her. “But, get a CT to make sure,” she said, then she was out of the room.

“We need to take her to an O.R. STAT,” Niklaus added.

“Damn it, page cardio again!” Hayley yelled.

“She’s got compartment syndrome on her left leg. Get me a 7.5 glove, betadine and a 15-blade!” he ordered. Gia gloved him, and sprayed some betadine on the leg, and Elijah grabbed the scalpel, positioning himself, and cut. “Okay, let’s pack it!” he yelled and both him and Hayley scrambled to pack it with gauze.

“What the hell is taking cardio so long?” Hayley yelled as the monitors continued to go off. “Okay, you know what? I’m doing it,” she shouted.

“Dr. Mikaelson, films!” Josh yelled and Elijah moved away to look at the scans.

“Get me a 36 tube, betadine and six and a half gloves!” she yelled.

“Hayley, you’re not cardio-” Niklaus tried to argue as the nurse gloved her.

“Yeah, but I’ve done chest tubes before and do you see cardio anywhere around?” she snapped as Gia sprayed betadine on the chest. Hayley inserted a needle, “injecting lido now,” she said just as the doors opened to reveal Kol.

“I’m here!” Kol yelled as he entered. “Bloody hell.”

“What took you so long?” Hayley snapped. “She’s at 30% pneumo, no obvious effusion, we need to put in a chest tube or her lung’s going to collapse!” she yelled.

“Right,” Kol nodded. “Glove me!” he yelled as he moved to join Hayley.

“15-blade!” Hayley yelled. There was more fumbling, Hayley and Kol muttering, then a loud popping sound and Brooke screaming in pain.

“She’s got a wrist fracture and a closed tibia fracture, I need to operate right now,” he said as he turned around.

The monitors started going off again, and Elijah rushed over, pulling the mask off.

“We need to intubate! Get me the scope and a 7.0 tube!” he shouted as he leaned over Brooke. But, for a brief moment, like a flash, he didn’t see Brooke’s black curly hair and caramel skin covered in bruises, but Hayley’s chocolate brown hair and pale skin. He shook his head, and once again he was staring at Brooke. “Okay, let’s bag him!” he yelled. “Dr. Rosza, come here and bag him!”

“Who me?” Josh stared at him. Elijah gave him a look. “Right. Yeah. Okay,” he stammered and came over to him, the two of them switching.

“Okay, we need to rush her to the O.R. right now!” he yelled. “Let’s go!”

The trauma room doors opened and they began pushing the gurney out. 

* * *

Klaus and Kol both got paged away towards the end of surgery, so only Hayley, Elijah and Josh finished it. The nurses and orderlies were taking her up to the ICU while the three of them, in particular Elijah and Hayley had to go speak to the police. Josh scrubbed out first, and exited the scrub room, and it was just her and Elijah left to finish. The atmosphere was thick with tension. Hayley kept sneaking glances at her boyfriend, and she could feel his gaze on her every time she looked away. But, he never said anything, so once she was done scrubbing, she headed for the door.

“Hayley,” he whispered in a pleading tone. She turned around to face him.

“Elijah,” she sighed, her shoulders slumping. Elijah took a few steps towards her until he was standing right in front of her, and if Hayley leaned slightly closer, she could kiss him. But, instead, she shook her head, “what?”

“Nothing, I just- I overreacted earlier in the ambulance bay. I know you didn’t mean…” he shook his head. “I know you only meant well, I know you didn’t call because you care. I’m sorry for how I reacted,” he said softly.

“It’s okay, baby,” she whispered, her lips curling into a tentative smile. She bit her lip, hesitantly, “so, we’re okay?”

He nodded, his own lips stretching into a smile, “we’re okay.” His gaze flickered to her lips before back to her eyes.

“Good,” she whispered, her own gaze flickering to his lips.

His lips were mere inches from hers, and Hayley couldn’t take it anymore. She leaned forward, and pressed her lips against his, her hands going to rest on his chest. Elijah’s arms wound around her waist, pulling her to him as their lips molded with each other. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before Hayley pulled away, her nose rubbing against his.

“We should probably go,” Elijah whispered, his breath mingling with hers.

“Yeah, we probably should,” she muttered against his lips. They pulled apart, and left the scrub room together. Josh smirked as soon as he saw them and straightened himself.

“Josh, don’t even,” she said in a warning tone, glaring at him mockingly.

“Okay, Hales,” the intern quipped, and the three of them headed to the waiting area.

Elijah seemed like he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that this had happened and that he had apparently missed it. According to Brooke’s records, she’d been a frequent flyer at the hospital, having been in three times over the past five months and Elijah had been her doctor every time when he did E.R. shifts.

He shook his head, “I just… how could I have missed this? The first time she came in with a dislocated shoulder, a sprained wrist and bruises on her abdomen and hips. She said she fell down the stairs,” he said, and Hayley pursed her lips. [She knew what he was going to say because she’d taken a look at her chart. And, sure, the explanations seemed possible, though Hayley wondered if she would have missed them, too. There wasn’t really any way of knowing, not until you were in the position. Sometimes, not until the worst happened].

Josh shrugged, “you couldn’t have known, man,” he said casually, and both Elijah and Hayley stared at him. “I mean, sir. You couldn’t have known, sir. I just- uh, thought cause you’re dating- never mind, I’m just gonna shut up now,” he stammered, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort.

“Josh is right, Elijah,” she said gently. “You couldn’t have known. Not, unless you were really looking,” she argued, but Elijah wasn’t listening. She turned to see what he was looking at. It wasn’t a ‘what’ but a ‘who’. “No, Elijah, don’t,” she said, reaching for him, but he was already storming in the direction of the man standing there. Hayley didn’t need to know the name to know that was Brooke’s husband.

“You have some nerve showing up here,” Elijah practically growled, and she noticed him curling his fists, ready to throw a punch. This time, though, she managed to catch his arm.

“Don’t,” she hissed. “Don’t do this, Elijah,” she said in a low, warning tone.

“The bastard deserves to pay,” he gritted his teeth, his jaw set, eyes glaring daggers in the direction.

“Yeah, he does,” she said. “That’s why the police is here. But, if you go there and attack him, you are going to cause a scene. So, please don’t. Don’t go,” she pleaded with him, her voice thick with emotion. “I know you’re angry, but don’t. You could ruin this, he could get violent with you. Nobody needs that. So, please, don’t do this. Take a deep breath,” she said in a softer tone, and inhaled slowly. Elijah repeated after her. “And, let it out,” she exhaled. So, did he. “It’s going to be okay. Let the police handle this. Why don’t you go talk to Detective Salvatore over there while I point Detective Saltzman and Officer Kinney to Mr. Davis,” she suggested, giving him a pointed look.

Elijah set his jaw and pursed his lips, but nodded. “Fine,” he grunted, and stormed off. Hayley sighed and walked over to the other detective.

“Detective Saltzman,” she said by way of greeting.

“Hi,” he said, flashing her kind smile. “Is that him?” he jerked his head in the direction of Brooke’s husband, Doug Davis.

“Yeah,” she nodded, glancing nervously at Doug, then at Elijah, who was talking to Damon, Elena’s husband.

“Okay, thanks. We’ll take it from here,” he informed her, and she nodded. When she looked for Elijah again, he’d already left.

* * *

Hayley took a deep breath, bracing herself, and knocked on the door to Elijah’s office. She didn’t even know why she was nervous about going into her boyfriend’s office.

“Come in!” Elijah yelled from the other side of the door, and she sighed heavily before pushing the door open. Elijah was leaning against his desk, and upon seeing her, Elijah sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Oh, it’s you,” he said quietly.

She forced a smile, “yeah, it’s me,” she said as she shut the door behind her, and took a few steps towards him, but stopped. “So, the police took Brooke’s husband away,” she started, and hesitated.

“That’s good,” Elijah nodded.

“I checked in on her. She’s awake. Gave her a dose of morphine and Cami’s going to go talk to her. And,” she paused, her gaze flickering to his, but he wasn’t quite looking at her. She continued, “I called the center for survivors of domestic violence. She’s gonna need all the support she can get,” she informed him. Again, Elijah nodded. “And, the police is standing by in case she decides she wants to press charges. I’ve already given them my statement. I sure as hell hope she does,” she admitted. Elijah muttered something inaudible under his breath. Hayley took another tentative step closer. “It’s going to be okay,” she said softly.

Elijah’s lips moved again, “I should have known,” he whispered so quietly she almost didn’t hear him, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat.

“What-” she started to say, then stopped. Of course he would blame himself. She shook her head, “no, Elijah, you shouldn’t- you shouldn’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known,” she finally said.

Elijah just shook his head, “I should have- I should have known. Damn it,” he said, his voice calm, though she could hear the inflection in his voice, the anger, the guilt and self-blame, and she itched to reach for him, but she stayed there, not daring to touch him. “I should have known,” he repeated. “I- I mean, I treated this girl so many times, Hayley. My name is on every single one of her charts the past few months, all over her records, I-” he cut himself off, and shook his head in disbelief, “and I didn’t know. I should have. I should have noticed this. I should have known,” he bowed his head.

Hayley shook her head and sighed. _What could she possibly say to him?_ “You can’t blame yourself, Elijah. I know that you feel like this is on you, but it’s not,” she started, and paused, sighing.

“Of course it’s on me!” he snapped, starting to pace the floor. “I should have known, I- it was my job. I was responsible for her, and I should have known,” he said more softly. “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to snap.”

Hayley’s expression softened, “it’s okay. But, seriously, Elijah, I know you feel guilty, but don’t be. You couldn’t have known. I saw her chart, every time she came in she had some pretty plausible explanations. And, unless you were really looking, you wouldn’t have detected them,” she told him gently.

“How can you say that?” he asked, sounding shocked, and stopped pacing.

She opened her mouth to say something, but he continued.

“Do you remember when you first came here?” She nodded. She could see where this was going. “That case. The little girl with CIPA. The one you thought was a domestic abuse case,” he paused, “because it was similar to a case you had before you came here. One that didn’t end well.” She remembered that. That was the first time he had hugged her. She smiled fondly at the memory, but shook herself.

“I was wrong, though,” she reminded. “I read the situation wrong. I jumped to conclusions without even listening to my patient. Because when I did, it turned out it was a completely different situation,” she said.

Elijah sighed and shook his head, “still. You had your reasons to at least consider it. I didn’t- with Brooke, I didn’t even consider it…” he trailed off, and Hayley sighed. “I should have known,” he repeated, and resumed pacing. 

Hayley sighed, and took another step towards him, “Elijah, please stop beating yourself about it. You couldn’t have known,” she shook her head, and her lips curled into a soft, comforting smile.

“But, I should have!” he snapped, and stopped, resting his hands on his hips. “I should have known. As her doctor, I should have known. I mean, I- I treated her so many times, and I-” he stopped himself, and pursed his lips. “I was responsible for her. I was-” he stopped and shook his head. “I was supposed to protect-” Again, he cut himself off, shaking his head, and this time Hayley could hear a slight tremor in his voice, like he was trying hard not to cry. Still, he wasn’t looking at her. She sighed, her shoulders slumping as it occurred to her that Elijah may not have been just talking about the patient. “I was supposed to protect her,” he added quietly, his voice almost breaking, and hung his head. _I was supposed to protect you_ was left unsaid, hanging between them.

“Oh my God,” she muttered, and her breath hitched in her throat. “You’re not talking about- you don’t mean-” she started, but stopped herself, unable to finish the thought. “Baby…” she sighed, her shoulders dropping.

Finally, Elijah looked at her, and Hayley had to steel herself. The look on his face was one she never wanted to see again. It was absolutely heart wrenching. He looked absolutely wounded, and it was now obvious how hard he was trying to cry from the way his jaw was set and his lips were pursed. He took a shaky breath, and his lips quivered.

“I should have known,” he finally said, choking back a sob. “I should have known,” he repeated, and his voice broke. In two steps, she was in front of him, and she reached for him, grasping his hands in hers. Even his hands were shaking.

“No,” she shook her head and exhaled as she rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, “no, Elijah, no, don’t- don’t blame yourself for me. You couldn’t have known that-” she started, but he cut her off. 

“I should have known, Hayley,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “I mean, I- we’ve been together for five months, I should have- I should have seen it before.” He shook his head as he let out a shaky breath, and his lips quivered. And, Hayley’s heart ached for him. “I am so sorry. I’m just so sorry,” he added, his voice thick with emotion.

“You have nothing to apologize,” she said firmly. “This was not your fault. You couldn’t have known because I didn’t want you to know,” she admitted, and Elijah flinched at that. “I’m sorry,” she said more softly, and lifted one hand to cup his cheek. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I just-” she cut herself off, and sighed, then lifted her eyes to look at him, “I guess it was easier to pretend everything was okay, than to admit my own pain and trauma,” she confessed as she caressed his cheek gently. “Elijah, I am really sorry that I hurt you by keeping the truth from you,” she added softly, “but, please don’t blame yourself for it.”

Elijah shook his head, and pulled away from her, “I should have known, Hayley. I should have realized… I should have seen it yesterday,” he said, and she stared at that, her hands dropping to her sides as Elijah leaned against his desk once more.

“What? What are you talking about?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"It isn't just-” he cut himself off, hesitating, “perhaps there wasn't really a way to know just what you had been running from, before. But, that day…” he paused, his voice shaking with emotion, eyes glassy with unshed tears, “I saw the way you flinched when he took a step towards you. The fear in your eyes. And then…” Again he paused, as if afraid to really said it, “the way you flinched when I threw that glass against the wall,” he finally said and she inhaled sharply. “How many glasses did he throw against the wall? How many times did you have to wonder if this was going to be the time he wouldn't stop at throwing things?” His voice was trembling at this point, and a single tear spilled over his cheek.

“Elijah-” she started, her eyes filling with tears, but he continued.

“I should have seen it, then. I should have realized that you were scared. Scared of _me_ ,” he said shakily, choking back a sob, his expression twisting with pain. Hayley felt like a knife had been stabbed in her chest, and she shook her head in disbelief. _How could he even think that?_ _How could he possibly even fathom that?_ But, Elijah continued, “and I should have realized why. I should have known then. And, instead, I kept yelling at you. I kept refusing to see what should have been so obvious. That in that moment, I reminded you of him. And I should have realized the implications of that,” he finally said and his voice broke as more tears spilled down his cheeks. “I should have known…” he repeated brokenly. He hung his head, and let out a sob, and Hayley’s heart broke. She stepped towards him, and reached for him, cupping his cheeks with her hands. This time, he didn’t pull away, and she tilted his head so he would look at her. The guilt and self-loathing evident in his eyes broke her heart.

She took a deep breath, “hey,” she said softly, “listen to me. The time in the lobby? You couldn’t have known that that was why…” she trailed off. “Please don’t blame yourself for that, please,” she said in a pleading tone, her thumbs rubbing along his cheeks. “And, when you threw your glass, I- I admit it scared me. Especially because it was my fault you were so mad. But, don’t for a second compare yourself to Jackson,” she said, shaking her head vehemently, and sniffled a little. “You are a better man, Elijah. Better than him by a long shot. I never knew what a real relationship looked like… not until you,” she said softly, wiping away his tears. “You made me believe I deserved better. You are _not_ him.” _I love you,_ she wanted to say, but she couldn’t bear the thought of him not saying it back, or even the tiny nagging possibility of him not feeling it, so instead she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. His lips were salty and wet from the tears, but Hayley didn’t care. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him, and the world fell away as Elijah circled her waist with his arms, pulling her closer. It was a lingering sort of kiss, slow and soft, filled with comfort and reassurance in a way words could never be, but that was more than enough. Elijah’s hands rested on her back, holding her firmly while her fingers threaded his hair, playing with the chain of his army tags, her body pressed against his. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before air became a necessity and they pulled away. Hayley rested her forehead on Elijah’s and rubbed her nose against his. And then, she tilted her head and pressed her lips to his forehead.

Elijah took in a shaky breath, “please forgive me,” he whispered brokenly. “Forgive me,” he repeated, his lip quivering.

Her expression softened, “I forgive you, Elijah. Of course I forgive you,” she said, her lips curling into a tentative smile. And then, Elijah pulled her to him, but this time it wasn’t for a kiss. This time, he just wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. And, she hugged him back, resting her chin on his shoulder, her arms holding him tightly as he clung to her and finally let himself cry.

* * *

After their talk, Elijah and Hayley had fallen back into their rhythm. With Jackson in town, Klaus took Hope while Hayley stayed with Elijah, which she definitely didn’t mind.

It had been over a week since Brooke’s case and her and Elijah’s talk in his office, and Hayley had just finished a checking up on Brooke. In need of a break, she headed to get some coffee when her phone rang. It was Rebekah.

“Hey,” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

“Hey, you,” Rebekah said by way of greeting. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just about to get a coffee. You at the office?” she asked.

“Yeah, just got out of a deposition,” Rebekah told her. “When’s your shift over?”

Hayley glanced at her watch, “in about five hours,” she said with a groan. It was currently two in the afternoon and she had a surgery during the night, rounds, two surgeries in the morning, then a few follow up exams. “But, I am so ready for it to be over,” she added.

“Is Elijah working the night shift?” she wondered.

“Yeah,” Hayley replied, sighing.

“Come over to my place. Marcel’s working, too. Nik can take Hope, so Cami and Freya can come, too. Oh, maybe we should also invite Davina,” Rebekah suggested. “You all can just stay the night, it’ll be like a sleep over.”

Hayley snorted, “a sleepover, Rebekah? Really?” Briefly, she put the call on mute so she could order herself a coffee and a bagel before unmuting. “We’re grownups, not teenage girls,” she remarked.

“Oh, I’m well aware we’re grownups, darling,” Rebekah said sweetly. “But, grownups can have sleepovers, too. Especially when it involves wine and pizza. And, since you all would be sleeping over, you wouldn’t need to find someone to drive you home. It’s called being convenient, Hayley.” Hayley could practically see the blonde roll her eyes. “It’s a very grown up thing to do,” Rebekah added, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Hayley snorted as the barista handed her the coffee and bagel.

“Okay, fine. Why the hell not? Let’s have an adult sleepover,” she said, giving in. It wouldn’t be that bad, especially since it would provide a good distraction from the mess her life had become lately.

“Lovely! I’ll let the others know, okay? Tonight around 8:30pm should be fine, right?”

“Yup,” she replied, popping the ‘p’. “I’ll see you tonight then.”

“See you! Mwah!” Rebekah said quickly and made a kissing sound before hanging up. Hayley pocketed her phone and took a sip of her coffee as she walked over to a bench and sat down, and relaxed a little, letting the late fall air wash over her.

* * *

Hayley got pulled into a four-hour surgery at the end of the day, so she was the last one to arrive at Rebekah’s for girls’ night. Cami, Freya, and surprisingly, Davina were already there.

“Hey,” she said, smiling.

“Hello, love,” Rebekah beamed upon seeing her. “Glad you could come,” she said, pulling her in for a hug.

They exchanged cheek kisses, then Hayley handed Rebekah a bottle. “This is for you,” she said, smirking.

“Oh, thank you! Honestly, you didn’t have to,” Rebekah said as Hayley followed her inside.

“Least I could do, sorry for being late,” she said. “Hey, Cami,” she said and beamed as the blonde came into view. They hugged and exchanged cheek kisses as well.

“Hey, Hayley,” Cami greeted her. “How are you?”

Hayley sighed, “fine,” she said.

“Hey, Hayley,” Freya said, and pulled her into a hug.

“Hey, Freya,” she said, exchanging kisses with the other Mikaelson sister. Then, Davina came over. “Hey, Davina. Glad to see you here,” she winked.

Davina chuckled, “hey, Hales. Honestly, not sure I had much of a choice. Rebekah pretty much bullied me into coming here,” she said as they hugged.

“Bullied? No, love,” Rebekah shook her head, sounding mock-hurt. “I only bully the opposing counsel and occasionally my brothers. I merely strongly encouraged you,” she smirked. Hayley and Freya both snorted amused. “Well, don’t stand around. Shall we, ladies? I ordered pizza and made some guacamole and hummus with nachos. Wine anyone?”

“Wine everyone,” Hayley quipped. Rebekah went to open the bottles.

“Red, white or both?” she asked.

“Just open both, Bekah. No one will regret it,” Freya said. “White for me, though.”

“I’ll have the red,” Cami said, and so did Davina.

“I’ll go with the white this time,” Hayley said. Rebekah filled the glasses, handing one to each, and the five of them headed to the living room, where the dips and nachos were already on the coffee table. Hayley sank down on the couch and took a long sip of her wine.

“So, Hayley,” Rebekah drawled as she took a sip of her wine, “how’s that devil of a soon-to-be-ex-husband of yours?” she asked.

Hayley sighed, “well, I haven’t seen him in a while. But, then Elijah hasn’t really left me alone. And, he failed to show up to court for the long-term restraining order, but I’ve still got the temporary one,” she said, and took another sip.

“Ugh,” Rebekah sighed as she munched on some food and took another sip of her wine.

“How’s Elijah?” Cami wondered as she sipped on her wine.

“Well,” Hayley started and took another sip, “he blames himself for not knowing about Jackson. He thinks he should have known, that he should have figured it out,” she sighed and took another sip. “Which is not his fault and I don’t blame him at all,” she said firmly.

Rebekah rolled her eyes as she took another sip, “this is Elijah we’re talking about. He’s a master at being a martyr and blaming himself,” she said. And then, she took another sip.

Hayley took another sip, “meanwhile, I’m here, still pissed at myself for keeping the whole damn thing from him and hurting him so badly because of it. I mean, you should have seen the look on his face when I told him,” she said, and the memory of Elijah’s pained expression when she told him the truth flashed in her mind, but she blinked it away and took another sip of her wine. “I don’t ever want to see that look on his face again. The only thing that was worse was when I finally told him why I was running from Jackson. When that part sank in…” she trailed off, and took another sip.

“Don’t feel bad, Hayley,” Cami said kindly, taking a sip herself. “You were trying to do the right thing at first. I mean, yeah you should have told him about it, especially when things got serious between you guys, but what’s done. He knows now, even if the circumstances weren’t idea. All that matters is that you guys are okay and you’re safe,” Cami told her and took another sip.

“Cami’s right, Hayley,” Freya said, taking a sip of her wine. “You’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

“Amen to that,” Rebekah muttered and took a sip herself.

“So, what exactly happened with this ex of yours?” Davina wondered.

“Well, we met in med school when I was a vulnerable single mom and he was good to me and seemed to love both me and Hope. It wasn’t until we were married and had moved to his hometown that I realized-” she paused and took a sip of her wine.

“That you married Satan?” Rebekah supplied.

“Pretty much,” she rolled her eyes. “Enough about that. I’m done wasting my breath on him, he’s not worth it. Let’s talk about Freya!” She smirked, and finished the last of her wine. Cami took her glass for a refill and Hayley smiled gratefully.

“Me?” The eldest Mikaelson seemed shock.

“Keelin asked you out and you turned her down,” she informed her, pouting slightly.

“Oh. That,” Freya smiled sheepishly and took a sip of her wine.

“That? Is that what you’re calling it? Really, Freya?” Rebekah demanded, clearly shocked and took a sip of her wine.

“What do you want me to call it? She asked me out and I politely declined because I am her boss’ boss. I am an attending and she’s a resident. Nothing can come of it,” she said, shrugging.

“Okay, now you’re just being an idiot!” Hayley exclaimed. “First of all, Keelin is smoking hot. And, she likes you and asked you out. Secondly, workplace relations haven’t stopped me and Elijah,” she continued. Her words were a bit slurred, but at this point, Hayley didn’t care, and took another sip of her wine. “And, thirdly, you’re an idiot and you should just ask her out,” she finished. Cami and Davina both giggled.

“I’m gonna have to agree here,” Cami added. “No one at St. John’s gives a damn about workplace relations. I mean, just about every attending and every resident have slept together in an on-call room,” she said and Hayley burst into a fit of giggles at the irony of that statement, clutching her sides.

“Hayley? What’s going on?” Rebekah asked seriously worried.

“I just-” she stopped, and calmed herself, then took another sip of her wine. “That statement isn’t entirely true. I would say half the hospital has slept together in an on-call room,” she said.

Rebekah quirked an eyebrow, “oh, really? I’m guessing you and Elijah did, too?” she asked, smirking.

Hayley almost choked on her wine, and luckily Cami reached across and pounded her back.

“You okay, Hayley?”

“Yup,” she nodded, popping the ‘p’.

“Wait… you didn’t- you haven’t?” Rebekah wondered, staring at her in shock. “Bloody hell…” she trailed off.

Hayley smiled sheepishly, “I can’t possibly be the only one. We just- it was never really a thing,” she shrugged.

Rebekah snorted, “oh, Hayley,” she shook her head, and took another sip of her wine. At this point, they were all on their second glasses that they were drinking faster and faster. Rebekah rolled her eyes, “I don’t work there, and even I’ve done it,” she said, smirking.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Hayley asked rhetorically and took a sip of her wine.

“Hell, even Klaus and I have done it,” Cami chuckled. “A few times actually. Though, we kind of prefer the very comfortable couch in my office,” she said smirking.

Hayley’s eyes widened, “oh my Gods, Cami! I suddenly feel terrible for your poor patients!” she exclaimed before bursting into another fit of giggles that the others joined in as well.

When they finally stopped, Cami seemed to sober up for a moment, “although, Klaus wasn’t my first in an on-call room. No, that was Marcel,” she said and Hayley stared at her.

“What?” she asked as she gulped down the last of her wine. This time, Freya went for refills.

“Oh, yeah, and I know about it,” Rebekah grinned. “Marcel and I were on the outs, he was free to do as he pleased. Though, I am glad to know he has a type,” she said, amused.

“Not really,” Cami shook her head. “Apparently, he also did Nurse Sophie,” she added.

“Nurse Sophie?” This time, both her and Rebekah were shocked. Rebekah scrunched up her face in distasted.

“Oh, yeah, I remember that. I almost walked in on them in a supply closet,” Freya said and winced. “That imagine haunts me forever. I can never go back into that damn closet,” she shook her head, her nose scrunched up.

“Well, it’s a good thing we’re no longer so on and off,” Rebekah said and downed her glass. “So, Hayley, you’ve got some homework to do,” she added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and Hayley giggled again.

“Oh, come on, Rebekah, I can’t possibly be the only one,” she said, shaking her head.

“You kind of are,” the blonde said.

“She’s right,” Freya chimed in. “I’m not dating anyone, and I’ve done it in the on-call room, too,” she said.

Rebekah shook her head, “Freya, let’s not bring that up,” she said and snorted. “So, Davina, have you and Kol done it?”

Davina looked appalled, “no! That’s just- no,” she shook her head vehemently and took a sip of her wine. “Although, we have done it in the back of an ambulance,” she admitted, then took a sip of her wine.

“Ooo!” Rebekah exclaimed. “Let’s play a game of ‘never have I ever’!” she suggested, beaming excitedly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Rebekah, we’re adults here,” Hayley muttered, but that was a stupid excuse. In that moment, the doorbell rang.

“It’s the pizza!” Rebekah exclaimed and stood up to go get it. She returned minutes later, holding several boxes of pizza that she arranged on plates on the coffee table. Then, she refilled everyone’s glasses and sat down. “Shall we?” They all nodded. “I’ll start. Especially for Hayley. Never have I ever had sex in an on-call room,” she said and Hayley and Davina both took a sip.


	29. You Belong With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a few days after the last chapter, Elijah and Hayley spend a day with Klaus, Cami and Hope.  
> Mostly fluff, or as fluffy as this fic can get.

Despite Jackson being back and the issues that came out from that, it was easy to slip back into a rhythm with Hayley, like nothing had happened, the two of them falling back into their routine both at work and at home.

Elijah groaned as he stretched and glanced over at the bedside digital clock. 0600. On a day off, no less. Beside him, Hayley was fast asleep, and he turned briefly towards her, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her face, his touch gentle, careful as not to wake her. She’d been restless the past few weeks, and she had finally fallen asleep a few hours earlier. It wasn’t nightmares, not really, just insomnia. And, even when she was supposed to be awake, she seemed tense, on edge. Elijah sighed. Maybe he was thinking too much into this. At least she was safe, in his bed, he reminded himself as he brushed his finger over her bare skin, tracing the small moon-shaped tattoo on her shoulder blade. She was wearing a dark blue silk camisole, its straps crisscrossing at the back, and Elijah couldn’t help but let out a half-chuckle. It had been, after all, intended for him to remove, but he’d gotten paged the night before after dinner. As it was, with Jackson around, he tried not to leave Hayley alone if he could help it, but he’d gotten paged while she was at his place having dinner. Actually, he was kind of glad it was while she was at his place; Jackson was less likely to find her there. So, he had gone to the hospital for an emergency, which wasn’t meant to take that long, but due to some complications he was forced to stay two hours longer than planned. And, Hayley, who had likely been waiting for him, had fallen asleep, the exhaustion finally catching up to her. Still, he didn’t minded because after taking off his scrubs and showering, he’d slipped into bed next to her, curling himself around her, and it was so simple and perfect that it somehow made up for it.

The clock now said 0610, which meant he had spent the past ten minutes watching his girlfriend sleep. And, while that was a perfectly acceptable activity, it was still early, and he wasn’t going to wake up said girlfriend. So, he got out of bed, and went to grab his gym clothes. He might as well go for a run to kill time and think. He changed into running clothes and used the bathroom quietly so he wouldn’t wake Hayley, and grabbed his running shoes and phone, jamming his earbuds in. But, before leaving, he stopped by her side of the bed, which was always the left one and neither of them had given much thought to it, and leaned to brush his lips against the side of her head, pressing a quick kiss. And then, he left, closing the doors behind him as quietly as he could.

It was a cool late October morning, the sky a light gray, a little bit of sunshine peeking through, and the park he usually ran in was covered in bright leaves, orange, and red, and yellow, and Elijah had never really thought about how beautiful it was. Until recently, New Orleans was just the place he’d moved to after leaving the army because his siblings lived there and because there was nothing left for him in New York. But, ever since he met Hayley, everything had changed. It was like she had opened his eyes to all the beauty that still existed in the world, the simple things like walking together in the park on a day off, or enjoying dessert on a whim. It was like he’d been asleep the entire time, and suddenly he was awake. And, as cliché as it sounded, like he’d been seeing black and white and he could suddenly see color. Elijah shook his head. No, it wasn’t that he couldn’t see it, it was more that he didn’t care for it, didn’t care for anything after losing Jonathan. After the army and coming back to New Orleans, it had been all work and nothing else, just trying not to spiral and fall off the wagon so he could seem as fine as he pretended to be.

Elijah panted a little, and stopped, taking a few deep breaths, and froze when he looked up. Not far from him was a family, mom, dad and a little boy, younger than Hope, probably about three or four. Like Jonathan had been when he died. Elijah could feel his throat close up as he watched them. They weren’t doing anything special, but that was the whole point. They were just having a simple, family day in the park, and he would never have that again because Jonathan was gone. The three of them were laughing and smiling, and then the dad picked the little boy up and put him on his shoulders, and Elijah felt his heart clench painfully.

_“Can we get ice-cweam?” Jonathan asked as he held his and Katherine’s hands tightly. Katherine looked over at him, pursing her lips. They’d finally gone out as a family and Elijah wanted it to be perfect for Jonathan. He didn’t know what had started this particular fight. It was a stupid thing, but it had escalated as soon as Katherine had put J to bed. According to his wife, he couldn’t do anything right these days. When had this all become so complicated? When had marriage stopped being about love and commitment? He shook his head, sometimes he wondered if Katherine still wondered. Jonathan pulled his hand slightly, and Elijah looked down. “So? Can we get ice-cweam?”_

_“Of course we can, buddy,” he said, smiling. “Just as long as your mom allows it,” he said, looking back up at Katherine, daring her to say no._

_Katherine glared at him, pressed her lips into a tense smile, “of course we can, baby,” she said. Jonathan grinned and squealed excitedly, and they both lifted him up slightly, swinging him, and he laughed happily. When they set him back down, he looked up at Elijah once more._

_“Can you carry me, daddy? Up-up high?” he asked pouting slightly and blinking up at him._

_Elijah smiled and let go of his hand so he could pick him up, “of course, bud. Like this?” he asked, positioning his son on his hip._

_“No, daddy! Up-up-up high!” he said, pointing his hands to the sky. Elijah chuckled, but lifted him up and positioned him on his shoulders, and Jonathan squealed in delight._

_“Is this better?” he asked as Jonathan gripped put his hands around Elijah’s neck._

_“Loads!” Jonathan said cheerfully. “Now, let’s get ice-cweam!” he added, and Elijah chuckled but began walking anyways, Katherine walking beside them, leaving some space between them. Elijah felt a pang of guilt._

_“Careful, J. Hold onto daddy,” she said softly._

_“Katerina,” he muttered softly. “Come here,” he added, gesturing slightly for her to move closer._

_She rolled her eyes theatrically, but came closer. “Hold onto him, Elijah,” she said. “Don’t let him go,” she said as she gripped his arm._

_“I won’t. I promise. Now, let’s go get ice-cream,” he said, smirking playfully as the three of them continued to walk. Then, Katherine pulled away and pulled out her camera._

_“Let me take another picture,” she said. “J, buddy, say cheese!” she yelled and Jonathan laughed, then bent his head so he was looking upside down at Elijah, grinning happily, and Elijah laughed, too, as the camera shutter clicked._

He felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them and the memory away. He had broken his promise, he had let him go. He shook his head, and turned around, and continued to run until he couldn’t feel the ground beneath his feet or his legs for that matter, his muscles ached, and he was covered in sweat.

* * *

By the time he made it home, it was 0730, but Hayley was still asleep, so Elijah took a shower, letting the hot water seep into his aching muscles until it ran cold before finally getting out, wrapping a towel around his hips. He was about to pull on a t-shirt when Hayley stirred, and slowly sat up, looking at him sleepily.

“Hey,” she said softly, her lips stretching into a slow smile.

“Oh, hey,” he greeted her, and he couldn’t help but return the smile.

“You look like you’ve been up for a while,” she said, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “What was it this morning? Boxing or running?”

He let out a half-chuckle, “running,” he said as he slowly pulled the t-shirt over his head.

“Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes, “I don’t mind,” she quipped as her eyes roamed his body, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “Keep that off and come over here,” she said, patting the bed in front of her. With an eye roll he walked over to her, but the t-shirt stayed on. “Really, ‘Lijah, you gonna make me do all the work?” she asked teasingly, reaching for him and pulling him onto the bed.

“Hmm,” he murmured thoughtfully, “I was thinking about making breakfast, but I suppose I could make you work for it this morning,” he flirted as Hayley pulled him on top of her, her hands joined at the back of his neck while his rested on her waist.

Her eyes widened slightly and she pouted slightly, “you want me to work for my avocado?”

He chuckled, “well, I was thinking omelet this morning,” he smirked.

“Mm, I like the sound of that,” she quipped.

“You know it’s all in the omelet,” he muttered, smirking.

“Oh, really?” she wiggled her eyebrows at him. “I thought it was all in who’s making the omelet,” she smirked. And then, she flipped them over so she was on top, and Elijah let out a laugh, and shook his head. Their lips met halfway, Hayley’s lips warm and soft against his, and their tongues tangled together loosely as his hands drifted down to her butt, fingers brushing against her skin while hers threaded through his hair. He grasped the hem of her camisole, and slowly lifted it up, and Hayley broke the kiss, allowing him to pull it over her head. Elijah swallowed thickly upon seeing her bare chest, but before he could do anything, she was kissing him again, her lips more firm this time, more urging and demanding, and he groaned into her mouth, his teeth capturing her lower lip briefly. He kept one hand on her lower back and cupped her breast with his other one, and Hayley moaned as he squeezed it lightly. She pulled away briefly, and panted, “now, look who’s working for their omelet,” she winked. He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest, and swiftly flipped them over again so he was on top.

“Okay, Dr. Marshall, why don’t you work for your omelet?” he said, smirking, and Hayley’s eyes darkened with lust. Swiftly, she reached for the hem of his t-shirt and quickly pulled it up, and his army tags dangled from his neck, resting between her breasts. And then, her hands were roaming his body everywhere, and he leaned down and kissed her, more firmly this time, his lips hungry and demanding, teeth nipping, and biting, and sucking her lips. She kissed him back just as fiercely, just as hungrily, her own lips fervent and urging against his. And then, his stomach rumbled, and he pulled away, and Hayley giggled.

“Look who’s hungry, now,” she said, quirking an eyebrow.

“Well,” he drawled, “I’ve been up since 0600, my dear.”

Her lips curled into a slow smile, “hmm, maybe you’re right. Maybe we deserve breakfast first,” she said, fondling his cheek gently.

“Okay, why don’t you take a shower while I cook us breakfast?” he suggested as he scrambled off of her.

Hayley smirked as she swung her legs down as he reached for his t-shirt, but she was quick enough and she grabbed it as well, pulling it out of his reach.

“What are you doing?”

She just shrugged and pulled the t-shirt over her head. “Smells like you,” she said simply as she walked in the direction of the bathroom. He moved to the dresser to grab another one, and he could feel her eyes on him, but her words stopped him in his tracks, “I don’t mind, you know,” she said simply, teasingly like it was nothing. Elijah turned and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, no words coming out.

“I- you-” he stuttered, but he was speechless, so he just pursed his lips and rolled his eyes as he opened the drawer and pulled out another t-shirt, pulling it over his head.

“As you wish, baby,” Hayley giggled before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Elijah just shook his head and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. _This woman is going to be the death of me,_ he thought, amused. And, even better, he had somehow forgotten what happened in the park earlier. Not really forgotten, but at least he wasn’t actively thinking of it, and it was all because of her.

By the time he finished making breakfast, Hayley had finished showering, and he felt her body pressed against his as he stood by the counter. Her arms wound around his waist, and he relaxed immediately as she nuzzled his cheek playfully.

“You’re just in time,” he commented. “Coffee?”

“Mm, this smells delicious,” she whispered huskily, and he shivered as her lips brushed against his ear.

He groaned as Hayley pressed a kiss against his earlobe, then his jaw, then she started trailing kisses along his jaw and he groaned again as she nipped his skin lightly.

“You do not play fair,” he told her, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, and then turned them around and lifted Hayley onto the counter.

“Elijah!” she squealed in surprise, but her hands were around his neck, and she pulled him towards her, her legs resting on either side of him. He rested his hands on her waist, and then his lips captured hers, and she returned the kiss immediately, her lips molding with his as her fingers played with the chain of his army tags. It was a gentle, lazy kiss, their tongues tangling together for a few seconds only to be interrupted by his phone ringing loudly. Elijah groaned, and reluctantly pulled away from her, and Hayley pouted.

“Could be the hospital,” he said as he reached for his phone at the other end of the counter.

Hayley raised an eyebrow, “on a day off? They would’ve called me, too,” she observed. He shrugged as leaned against the counter in front of her, positioning himself between her legs. Alas, it wasn’t the hospital. “It’s Klaus. Answer it, maybe it’s Hope,” she said, but he’d already put the phone to his ear.

“Niklaus,” he greeted, “you have absolutely splendid timing,” he said in a snarky tone. Hayley giggled.

“Brother, good to hear from you. I hear you’re being entertained,” his brother drawled on the other end, and Elijah could practically see the smug smirk on his face.

“What does he want?” Hayley wondered as her hands drifted over his body, massaging his tense muscles, and he had to stifle a groan.

“Niklaus, what do you want?” he asked, rolling his eyes. 

“What are you up to?” Typical Niklaus, answering a question with a question.

“Well, if you must know, we were just about to have breakfast,” Elijah replied, smirking a little.

“Elijah, please don’t have sex with Hayley on the kitchen table,” Niklaus commented, and Hayley laughed in amusement just as she hit a particularly sore spot, causing Elijah to groan again. “Bloody hell, Elijah!” Niklaus exclaimed on the other end. “I am never coming over for dinner,” he added.

Elijah chuckled, “well, Niklaus, thank you for your concern, but last I checked you were not invited,” he said in a snarky tone, and Hayley giggled.

His brother just laughed, clearly amused by the whole thing, “so, what are your plans for the day? Other than defiling the mother of my child on the kitchen counter?” Then, “ow, Camille! What the bloody hell?” he exclaimed, sounding hurt. Camille had probably smacked him, and Elijah couldn’t help but chuckle. Hayley snorted and rubbed her foot against his thigh. And, Elijah had to stifle yet another groan. 

“Behave,” he muttered quietly, and she giggled as she rested her chin on his shoulder. “Now, Niklaus, need I remind you that the mother of your child just so happens to also be my girlfriend? And, what we do in our private time is absolutely none of your business,” he said, sounding annoyed, though he wasn’t, not really. More amused than anything. “Now, was there something important you wished to discuss or did you just call to get on my nerves?”

“Relax, brother, I was just messing with you. Though, I did want to know what you and Hayley plan to do today because Camille and I were thinking to take Hope out and we were wondering if you two would join,” he said.

“Sure, why not?” Elijah replied as Hayley nodded against his shoulder. “What time?”

“We were thinking about an hour and a half?” Niklaus replied, though it sounded more like a question. “If you two can make it, that is,” he added, and Elijah could imagine him smirking as per usual.

“I assure you, brother, we’ll be there,” he said, smirking in amusement.

“Good. Bye,” Niklaus said before ending the call.

Elijah chuckled as he put the phone back on the counter before turning around to face Hayley once more, pulling her closer.

“Now,” he drawled, “where were we?”

She smirked, and leaned closer, “right about here,” she quipped before kissing him. He returned the kiss, his lips capturing hers as he gripped her waist more firmly, pulling her closer. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before he broke the kiss.

“As much as I would love to continue, we should probably eat,” he said when Hayley pouted. “You know how Niklaus can get,” he added.

Hayley sighed, “hm, you’re probably right,” she said, still pouting adorably. He moved to grab the plates, setting them on the table before turning back to her.

“What is it?”

She narrowed her eyes, “you just-” she cut herself off and shook her head, “you just seem really happy,” she finally told him.

“Oh. Of course I’m happy,” he told her, returning to his spot between her legs. “Of course I’m happy. Why do you ask?”

She sighed, “I don’t know… I guess I just hadn’t ever seen you so happy and carefree… so relaxed,” she admitted, and he furrowed his eyebrows, confused. 

“Well,” he drawled, reaching to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her jaw lightly, “you make me happy, Hayley. You make me happy,” he told her. _Even though I don’t deserve to be,_ he thought, his hand dropping back onto the counter.

She could see that there was something he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure about, and she cupped his cheek. Instinctively, he leaned into her touch as she stroked his cheek with her thumb lightly. Her expression softened, “what is it?” she asked.

“I just- I suppose that for a long time happiness felt like a foreign concept,” he admitted sadly as Hayley continued to caress him gently. “After J died it felt like… everything was dark and I couldn’t see the light. Everywhere I looked dark was all I could see…” he trailed off as he remembered seeing that family in the park and how it reminded him of everything he had lost. “And, I let it because I didn’t think I deserved to see the light, to be free of that darkness, not after what happened,” he added, feeling tears prickle at his eyes. There was a long stretch of silence as Hayley stared deeply into his eyes, her hand firm on his cheek. “I just… I don’t deserve to be happy, Hayley,” he finally said, his voice breaking. _I don’t deserve you_ , he added in his head, but he wasn’t ready to admit that to Hayley.

Hayley shook her head vehemently, “no, no, Elijah,” she said, her voice filled with conviction. “That’s not true, you know that’s not true,” she told him, and despite how convinced he sounded, he didn’t exactly believe her. After everything he had done, everything he had lost, he didn’t deserve happiness. _He didn’t deserve her_. “Elijah, you are a good man, believe me, you are,” she said softly, “Look, we all make mistakes, but making mistakes doesn’t make you a bad person, doesn’t make you underserving of happiness. And, you- you’re trying to make up for those mistakes and I believe that makes you worthy of happiness,” she caressed his cheek gently as he closed his eyes briefly before opening them and looking at her once again.

“Do you truly believe that?” he wondered.

She nodded, “I do. I really do. You deserve to be happy, Elijah,” she said softly.

“I’m happy with you,” he admitted, and Hayley smiled in return.

“I’m happy with you, too,” she said, and he let out a breath he didn’t think he’d been holding. She seemed to hesitate then, as if she wanted to say something else, but changed her mind and leaned forward pressing a quick kiss to his lips, that he returned without complaint. When they pulled away, she chuckled, “now, let’s go be happy eating that omelet, or your brother is going to be a pain in the ass,” she said, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Mm, you’re right,” he said as he stepped back and Hayley hopped down from the counter. “You know what? They’ve probably gotten cold, I’ll heat them while you make the coffee?”

“Sure,” she nodded.

He grabbed the plates from the kitchen island and pulled out his frying pan, sliding the omelets in and turning on the stove. He finished heating the omelet just after Hayley set the two mugs of coffee on the kitchen island. He took the two plates and joined her, sitting across from her.

“Looks delicious, ‘Lijah,” she said softly.

“Bon appetite,” he told her as they both tucked in. He couldn’t help but smirk a little smugly when Hayley moaned as she shoved a forkful into her mouth.

* * *

Niklaus had texted them that they were to meet in Jackson Square, and sure enough they found Niklaus, Camille and Hope walking around. Upon spotting them, his niece rushed over to them, throwing herself into her mother’s arms.

“Mommy! I’m so happy to see you!” she exclaimed as Hayley crouched to hug her back.

“I’m happy to see you, too, sweetie,” Hayley said as she hugged her daughter tightly.

“Brother,” Niklaus greeted him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Hello, brother,” he said, returning the hug. Then, he turned to Camille.

“Hello, Camille,” he said as he and the blonde exchanged cheek kisses.

“Hey, Elijah,” she smiled warmly at him.

Then, his niece untangled herself from her mother’s arms and turned to him. “Uncle Elijah!” she exclaimed, beaming at him in delight and then she threw herself at him and he had just enough time to lower himself and catch her in his arms. She hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back, pressing her small body to him.

“Hope,” he choked slightly, “losing circulation here.” Niklaus snorted while Camille giggled.

“Hey, Hope? You wanna let Uncle Elijah breathe a little, too?” Hayley quipped, looking at both of them amused.

Hope pulled away. “Sorry!” she smiled apologetically at him.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said as he stood up and the little girl went to take her mother’s hand. “So, what’s the plan?” he asked turning to his brother.

“Well, we were thinking to go have some dessert at that café over there,” Camille said, gesturing to nice, French-style café nearby.

“They have wonderful beignets,” Niklaus added, winking at Hope.

But, Hope turned to Hayley. “Can we go, mommy? Please?” she begged, pouting, and sporting the puppy eye look.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “of course we can, sweetie. Let’s go,” she said and the five of them began walking towards the café. Camille and Niklaus walking together, the blonde’s arm looped through that of his brother while Hope clung to Hayley’s hand tightly. He walked next to his girlfriend, though slightly behind the mother daughter duo. When they got to the café, he held the door open for everyone to enter, then followed them to a larger table and took a seat beside Hayley, with Hope on Hayley’s other side while Camille and Niklaus sat across from them.

“So, Hope,” Hayley said turning to her daughter, “what have you been doing at daddy’s?”

“Coloring and painting! And, watching lots of movies. And, Cami was busy last night so daddy and I had pizza!” Hope announced cheerfully.

“Did you now?” Hayley quipped, amused. Niklaus looked away sheepishly while Camille just chuckled.

“Yeah, Klaus can’t cook,” Camille announced, glancing over at her boyfriend affectionately.

Elijah chuckled, “yeah, unfortunately cooking is not one of Niklaus’ many talents,” he quipped, smirking slightly.

“Does he have any?” Hayley remarked and both him and Camille chuckled.

“Ouch,” the blonde muttered.

“Are you lot making fun of me?” Niklaus asked, pretending to sound insulted though he was obviously amused.

“Well, if the shoe fits, Niklaus,” he retorted.

Klaus chuckled sarcastically, “I forget sometimes, you do have a sense of humor, Elijah.”

The waitress came by to take their orders and they ordered coffee and an orange juice for Hope, but Hope wasn’t sure what she wanted for dessert so they were waiting with that. The five of them, though it was more like the four of them continued to talk until Hope decided she wanted to see what desserts were available.

“Mom, can we go look at desserts?” she asked, already standing up and dragging Hayley along with her.

His girlfriend rolled her eyes, “fine, sweetie. Let’s go have a look,” she said and the two of them disappeared. Cami looked awkwardly between him and his brother and stood up, too.

“I’m gonna go see what they have, too,” she said by way of explanation, and without waiting for an answer left to join Hayley and Hope, leaving only Elijah and Niklaus.

Elijah had the feeling Nikaus had something on his mind, something to tell him, and he had the sinking feeling it wasn’t going to be anything particularly good.

“Is there something you wish to discuss, Niklaus?” he asked, looking over at his brother. Niklaus said nothing for a few seconds.

“As a matter of fact, yes there is. I was just wondering, when the hell did it become _my_ job to look after _your_ girlfriend?” he snapped, breaking the silence.

Elijah stared at him. _Well, that was certainly not what he had expected._ “What do you mean?”

His brother rolled his eyes, “you know very well what I mean. You went AWOL because you got a little hurt when she lashed out at you over losing a patient and she went and got drunk and called me. And then, I had to spend the night over at hers and the next two days off with her because we seemed to be in an agreement not to leave Hayley or Hope alone while her dick of a soon-to-be ex-husband is still in town!” he hissed, though Elijah could hear the angry inflection in his voice.

Elijah shrugged, “well, we both needed a bit of time away that day,” he said.

“Really? A bit of time? A bit of time is a couple of hours, brother, not two whole days,” Niklaus retorted drily.

“You and I both know why Hayley didn’t call me that night,” he sighed. “Actually, she didn’t call me the next day either, I only knew she was safe and sound because you told me. So, don’t put this all on me. She didn’t want me as much as I didn’t want to face her, so she didn’t call. And, yes I should have called, too, I should have gone to her place, but I didn’t because after she lashed out and after everything that had happened that day I didn’t know if she’d want me,” he admitted, the words coming out of his mouth unfiltered, his voice trembling slightly with emotion. 

Niklaus’ expression softened and he sighed, “you, Elijah, are an idiot. Of course she wanted you. Pretty sure I wasn’t top of her list to call that night. And, yes, you’re right there was a reason she didn’t call that night, but I assumed you’d be there in the morning. And, you didn’t show up for two whole days.”

Elijah bowed his head and sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“It bothers you, doesn’t it?” Niklaus remarked, and Elijah looked up meet his gaze. “That she didn’t call that night. It bothers you.”

He sighed, “I- I know it shouldn’t bother me, and I know, logically, why she didn’t call. I know that. I know she did it for me. But, still,” he glanced down, “it stings a little,” he admitted.

Niklaus reached and rested his hand on top of his knee, “Elijah, you bloody fool. She didn’t call because she cares about you and she didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position. But, that didn’t mean she didn’t want to see you at all those two days. And, perhaps you’re right, perhaps this is her fault, too, because she avoided you as much as you did her. Just,” he paused, “try not to get into any more fights with your girlfriend, hey?”

“Will do, brother,” he nodded. Just then, the three girls appeared.

“You ready to order, sweetheart?” Niklaus asked his daughter.

“Yup!” Hope said cheerfully.

Hayley slid in beside him, “everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is fine,” he told her, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

* * *

After Hope finished her beignet and chocolate mousse, she ran off to draw at this small play area in the café while the rest of them chatted. And then, Hayley looked up and she froze, and when Elijah followed her gaze he stiffened. It didn’t take long for Niklaus and Camille to figure out what was going on just as the man began striding towards them before coming to a stop right in front of their table, between Hayley and Camille.

“Oh, hello. What a nice family outing,” he said in mock delight. Elijah set his jaw and looked up to glare at him. Camille whispered something to Niklaus before standing up quietly and slipping out, probably to find Hope and make sure she wouldn’t decide to come back while Jackson was there. Jackson didn’t even notice her, and both Niklaus and himself breathed out a sigh of relief.

Elijah glared at the man in front of them while keeping one hand protectively on Hayley’s lower back. But, before him or Niklaus could say anything, she beat them both to it.

“Jackson,” she said, gritting her teeth, “you are aware I have a restraining order against you, right?”

Jackson just rolled his eyes, “oh, c’mon, Hayley, don’t be ridiculous. There’s no need for drama. Just come home with me and everything will be fine,” he said in an even tone.

“Like hell I will!” she hissed furiously, and Elijah couldn’t help but smirk a little. His brother did, too. “I’m not going anywhere with you,” she added firmly.

“You heard the lady,” Niklaus said, glaring at the other man.

“I’m not takin’ orders from you,” Jackson barked. Then, he reached for Hayley, brushing his hand against her shoulder, and Elijah immediately pulled her closer.

“I suggest you take your hands off her, or it will be the last thing you do, Jackson,” he said, completely deadpan.

“And, while you’re at it, why don’t you remove yourself from the premises,” Niklaus chimed in, “mate.”

But, Jackson ignored Niklaus, and was instead staring at his hand on Hayley’s waist, pulling her close. He turned to glare at Elijah, then turned back to Hayley.

“You’re sleepin’ with him?” he demanded. “So, first you have his kid,” he said pointing at Niklaus, “then you come here and start sleeping with his brother? Damn. Never pegged you for that kind of girl, Hayley. I thought you had more class than that,” he said, and Elijah curled his fists briefly.

“Watch it,” Niklaus growled while Elijah just glared.

“Let me make one thing clear to you, Jackson,” he drawled, “who she sleeps with is none of your damn business because she isn’t your property. And, for the record, we are not sleeping together as you so rudely call it; we are in a relationship. And, if I see you lay a finger on Hayley, I will make you pay,” he threatened. “Understood?”

Jackson just glared. “Alright, that’s it, I’m taking you home,” he said, turning to Hayley. “I’ve had enough of this, Hales.”

Hayley scoffed, rolling her eyes, “oh, I’m not going anywhere with you, Jackson. You are not allowed to come anywhere near me or Hope, and the only times I want to see you is in court,” she glared at him.

“Oh, and even if you try convincing her to go with you or take her away, I will sue for custody of Hope. And, we both know Hayley wouldn’t leave without Hope, nor would she be allowed to leave in the middle of a nasty custody battle, so you aren’t going anywhere, mate,” Niklaus added, glaring fiercely at Jackson, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jackson snapped, and reached for Hayley once more, but Elijah had moved faster and he stood in front of her, effectively blocking her from view.

“Did I not make myself clear, Jackson? You do not touch her, you have forfeited your right to do so the first time you hurt her. And, there is the matter of that restraining order, if you recall, so you are not allowed to even be in the same room as Hayley. So, here is the deal. If you come anywhere near Hayley, and touch her in anyway, you will answer to me,” he said firmly, glaring furiously at the other man.

“And, you really don’t want to be met with a pissed off Elijah. Spoiler alert: he boxes and he will rearrange that pretty face of yours if you come anywhere near his girlfriend. So, I suggest you leave,” Niklaus chimed in, standing up as well, “mate,” he hissed lowly.

“Sir!” He and his brother turned to find two police officers striding towards them, or rather, Jackson. “We must ask you to leave. You are violating the restraining order against you,” they said, and without waiting for a reply, grabbed Jackson’s hand and shoved him in the direction of the door. The moment he was gone, Elijah sat back down beside Hayley who let out a shaky breath and shuddered.

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching for her, but he hesitated. _Would she welcome his touch?_ He knew she wasn’t afraid of him, but he had also seen the effect Jackson’s presence had on her. Ever since he’d arrived, she’d become a little skittish, a little jumpy, and he hated that the mere thought of that man being in the same city as her made her like that. And, despite her anger and sarcasm in the exchange, he knew that she was still affected by Jackson’s proximity from her little sharp inhale she thought nobody heard to the way her pulse had quickened. She was scared, and even though it wasn’t of him, he didn’t want to make things worse. _And, you did scare her once,_ he reminded himself, but pushed the thought away.

Niklaus, possibly sensing they needed a moment, stood up. “Well, I’m going to check on Cami and Hope,” he said simply, and Elijah nodded in thanks.

“Hey,” he said softly, hesitantly reaching for her. She seemed to notice this, and she reached for his hand. It was only when she rested her hand on top of his, lacing her fingers with his that he realized his own hands had been shaking. He lifted their joined hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles as Hayley rested her forehead against his temple. She nudged him gently, and he turned to her as she closed her eyes and leaned closer to him, and he tilted his head up and pressed another kiss to her forehead. She hummed quietly in response, and then rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, cuddling into his side. “You okay?” he whispered quietly, his lips brushing against her skin.

“I’m better now,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “Much better.”

He smiled, and sighed in relief as he let go of her hand and pulled her closer, reaching across her front, his hand holding her arm, and she returned the gesture, reaching to rest her hand on his elbow. They rested in the embrace for a few seconds, just holding each other before they were interrupted by a throat clearing, and they both looked up to find Niklaus, Camille and

“Well, aren’t you two just adorable?” Niklaus cooed, smirking, clearly amused.

Elijah rolled his eyes, “Niklaus, don’t you have just impeccable timing?” he quipped drily, and Hayley let out a half-chuckle.

“Really, Klaus? Aren’t you just a little tired of interrupting us?” she raised an eyebrow at his brother, who chuckled, amused.

“On the contrary, love, I quite enjoy it,” he quipped.

“Yes, he does enjoy being a nuisance,” he remarked sarcastically, and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, lighten up, brother,” Niklaus shot back with an eyerolls.

“Are you all quite finished?” Camille asked, exasperated, crossing her arms over her chest. She flashed his brother a glare, and the man simply shut up, and Elijah couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, what Klaus wanted to ask was if you guys wanna come to the park with us?” she finally said. Hope looked at both of them and pouted, blinking her eyes rapidly, giving them the puppy look.

Elijah chuckled, there was no way either of them would say no to that. Hayley shrugged, “sure, why not?” He stood up and held out his hand to her, helping her up as well, and after paying, the five of them exited the café and walked to the park. Hope grabbed both her father and Camille’s hand and began skipping towards a playground while him and Hayley hung back.

Hayley smiled fondly at the three of them while Elijah felt that familiar pang from that morning, but he pushed the memory away. He didn’t need the reminder, the memory had been playing on a loop in the back of his mind ever since.

“She’s just so happy,” his girlfriend mused as she watched her daughter. “And, completely fine with this slightly dysfunctional family,” she added, a hint of amusement in her tone.

“She is remarkably well-adjusted,” he agreed. “She knows you’re her mom and Niklaus is her dad. Camille is just an added bonus and the rest of us are her aunts and uncles, happy to spoil her whenever,” he said, his own lips stretching into a half-smile.

Hayley reached for his hand and twined their fingers together, and leaned closer, pressing her body against his.

“You know you’re more than that,” she told him, lifting her head to look at him, but he couldn’t look at her, couldn’t meet her gaze. “You know you mean so much more to her… to both of us,” she said softly.

He shook his head, “I can’t… you know I can’t. I can’t be more than Uncle Elijah. I’m sorry,” he told her, his own voice trembling with emotion. Hayley opened her mouth, and argument probably on the tip of her tongue, but was interrupted by the child in question.

“Mommy! Mommy, come see! Come quick! Look how high I’m swinging!” Hope yelled, calling out for her mother’s attention. Hayley sighed and shook her head, letting go of his hand.

“Coming, sweetie!” she yelled and took off in Hope’s direction, leaving him staring after her, lost in thought, in the memory from earlier that morning.

“Everything okay between you two?” Elijah looked up to find Camille standing next to him. _Or, had he walked aimlessly over to her without noticing?_

He shrugged, “we’re fine,” he told her, trying to sound certain, but she raised an eyebrow, and Elijah knew she’d caught him.

“Really? Because Hayley seemed upset just now, and you… well, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she told him, giving him a pointed look.

He sighed sadly and shook his head, “no, not a ghost. I just-” he cut himself off and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, “I- this morning I was out for a run and I saw this family. Mom, dad, little boy. He must’ve been about three or four, just like-” he cut himself off, sounding choked.

Camille touched his arm gently, “just like Jonathan? Oh, Elijah, I’m so sorry,” she said softly.

“And, it just- it reminded me of this one perfect day we had the fall after his third birthday. Katherine and I were fighting half l the time back then, but J wanted to go to the park, so I managed to get Katherine to come along, and we just spent the day together. It was perfect. And, seeing that family earlier reminded me of that,” he admitted.

“And, I’m guessing seeing them be a family, being happy doesn’t make it easier either,” she observed, nodding over to where Niklaus and Hayley were with Hope. 

He sighed, “no, it doesn’t. Neither is seeing the three of you. That little girl adores you, Camille,” he told her, still looking out sadly.

Camille smiled, “well, I love her like she’s my own. I know Hayley’s her mom, I’d never try to replace her, but I do love that little girl,” she said.

Elijah just nodded sadly.

“Anniversary’s coming up, isn’t it?” she said after a while, breaking the silence that had settled.

“Yeah, I… this time of the year is hardest,” he admitted. “I just- I miss him so much and I- I can’t believe it’s been almost three years,” he shook his head. “Sometimes it feels like three months, other times it feels like forever ago. And then, something will remind me of him, and it’s like it just happened and I-” he cut himself off, and shook his head, his throat closing up, tears threatening to spill, but he blinked them back.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I know how that feels. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it’s always gonna hurt. Sometimes it just hurts less, but other times… you’ll remember something he liked, something he didn’t like and it’s like it _just_ happened and you hurt all over again,” she shook her head sadly, and Elijah was certain she wasn’t just talking about him and Jonathan. [Camille had lost someone, too, years ago. Her twin brother had committed suicide when they were in their early twenties, Elijah was pretty sure Klaus had mentioned them being twenty-three at the time]. “It’s like a piece of you is missing and you know you’ll never get it back. You just have to go on despite it,” she added.

“Yeah…” he trailed off sadly and a tear slid down his cheek, but he wiped it away before she could turn towards him. Camille sniffled and reached to wipe her eyes. “Does Hayley know about November 13? Halloween’s coming up, Hope’s been talking about it for ages, and November is just around the corner.”

He shook his head, “no. And, I don’t plan on telling her… yet. So, please don’t tell her. I just- with Jackson and the mess it’s causing she’s been so stressed and upset lately, I don’t want to add to her stress. She doesn’t need to worry about me and my feelings. I’m fine, Lexi’s threatened to drag me physically to a meeting if I miss one, so that’s fine. I’ve got six months coming up,” he told her.

“That’s good,” she nodded. “And, I won’t tell her. I’ll try to make sure Rebekah or Freya don’t either, but Freya’s been insanely busy, and she’s not as nosy as your younger sister. But, I’m only doing this cause you asked. You, Elijah, you _have_ to tell her. You know she cares about you and would want to be there for you. But, she can’t do that if you don’t let her,” she told him pointedly.

“Yeah, I know,” he sighed. “Thank you, Camille.”

“Of course, no problem,” she said and flashed him another smile before walking off in his brother and niece’s direction. Elijah scanned the area for Hayley as well, and his heart leapt in his chest when he didn’t notice her at first, but then he saw her sitting on a bench overlooking the river. He walked over to her, his hands in his pocket.

“Hey,” he said softly, and she looked up. She seemed to be thinking about something, playing with her hands. She looked up, and her expression softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “You okay?” he asked her as he took a seat beside her, facing the opposite direction. Still, he angled his body towards hers.

She shook her head, “I just- I was just thinking now. Hope is so happy here, she finally has a place to truly call home, a place to belong. And, I’m so glad I gave her that. Even if it meant moving here. I’d do it all over again,” she finally said, turning to look at him. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes, and he could hear an edge of emotion in her voice.

“Of course she’s happy here, Hayley,” he said softly. “Her family is here, she’s safe, and healthy, and loved,” he sighed. “And spoiled rotten,” he added in a teasing tone, and Hayley chuckled, amused.

Her face became serious again, “growing up I never belonged anywhere. Not in school, not in foster care,” she swatted at a bug. “I thought-” she pursed her lips, “maybe that’s one of the reasons I married Jackson. I wanted a place to belong and he was giving me that,” she admitted sadly.

“You do belong somewhere,” he said softly, furrowing his eyebrows slightly in confusion. Hayley smiled fondly at him. _You belong with me_ , he wanted to say, but he stopped himself, not wanting to scare her off.

“I know,” she said softly. “Because it’s not just Hope who has somewhere to belong. It’s me, too. I finally belong somewhere. And, it’s all because of you,” she said softly and reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles. “Thank you. Thank you for giving me a place to finally belong. Thank you for showing me that I was worth more than crying on the bathroom floor.” His heart clenched at that, but he focused on her.

“You are worth more than crying on the bathroom floor, Hayley. You are worth so much more. You deserve more,” he told her, his voice soft. _More than me_ , he added in his head, but he didn’t tell her that either. Instead, he just held her hand and squeezed it lightly. “What is it?” he asked her when he noticed she looked like she wanted to add something else.

“I just-” she cut herself off and looked away, as if she couldn’t quite look at him and his heart clenched.

“Hayley, please tell me… whatever it is, you know you can tell me,” he said in a pleading tone, squeezing her hand once more, his thumb rubbing gently over her knuckles.

“I know. I just- I guess I’m a little… scared. I mean, he never- he was never violent, he never _hit_ me, but still…” she trailed off, her voice shaking slightly. He shook his head and cupped the back of her neck with his other hand.

“Listen to me,” he said softly, though firmly. “I will not let anything happen to you. Do you understand?” He stared deeply into her eyes, and she pursed her lips, but finally nodded, and sniffled. He tilted his head up and pressed his lips to her forehead, and Hayley relaxed beneath his touch.

“Well, aren’t you two just adorable?” Elijah pulled away, and both him and Hayley looked up to find Niklaus, Camille and Hope standing there.

“Klaus, stop it,” Camille muttered, flashing his brother a glare, though judging from the small smile tugging at the corners of her lips she was more amused than anything.

“Mommy, I got you something,” Hope grinning.

“Yeah? What is it, sweetie?” Hayley asked, sniffling quietly.

“I picked you some flowers from over there,” Hope announced and came over to them, pulling the flowers from behind them.

“Oh! Thank you so much sweetie! These are beautiful,” Hayley said, immediately lighting up and seeming more relaxed.

“Do you like them?”

“I love them,” Hayley smiled. “And, I love you,” she added. “Come here,” she said, opening her arms and Hope immediately hugged her, Hayley picking her up and positioning her on her lap.

Elijah just smiled at the two before looking up at his brother once again.

“Well, Niklaus did you get bored of the monkey bars? Or, do you just enjoy interrupting us?” he asked in a snarky tone.

“As much as I do enjoy annoying you, this time you can thank Hope,” Niklaus said, looking over at his daughter fondly. “She’s hungry and we were thinking to grab a pizza. Would the two of you like to join or would you like some alone time?”

Elijah looked over at Hayley, who shrugged, before sighing. “Well, as annoying as you are, Niklaus, we’ll join you for lunch,” he said and Hope let out a delighted squeal.

* * *

After having lunch with Klaus, Hope and Cami, they spent a few more hours together just walking around and chatting before deciding to part ways, promising to see each other soon. The drive to Elijah’s place was quiet, though it was that kind of comfortable silence and she held Elijah’s hand on the console as he drove.

As soon as they entered his apartment though, and Elijah locked the door behind them, Hayley grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him to her, crashing her lips to his. Elijah responded to the kiss, his hands going to rest on her back, pulling her closer. Their lips molded together as she deepened the kiss, her hands drifting to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before Elijah pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, both of them panting. Her purse was on the floor, long forgotten and Elijah pushed her against the wall, and she let out a gasp. And then, his lips were on hers, warm and yielding and she kissed him back, her own lips more urging against his, and his stubble tickled her chin as she laced her fingers together at the back of his neck and pulled him closer. The kiss quickly grew more passionate, more urging, their lips desperate and demanding, tongues dueling each other. When air became a necessity, they pulled apart roughly, both of them panting, foreheads resting against each other.

“Take me to bed, ‘Lijah,” she muttered breathlessly against his lips, and Elijah’s lips curved into a smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by her stomach growling and Hayley blushed, averting her gaze.

“I would, except I believe I should make you dinner first,” he quipped, that smile turning into a smirk.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, “very funny,” she quipped drily, but her stomach growled again, and this time Elijah pulled away.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Hayley,” he said softly. “Why don’t you go change while I make dinner, okay?” he suggested. With a reluctant sigh, she nodded.

“Fine.”

The two of them parted ways, Elijah going to the kitchen while she went to his bedroom, their bedroom, really, to change. After freshening up in the bathroom, she pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and one of Elijah’s t-shirts and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. Then, she returned to the kitchen and couldn’t help but hum in pleasure at the smell that had infiltrated the kitchen. Elijah was standing next to the stove, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and she leaned against the kitchen island, watching him. He was making some kind of red sauce, stirring it occasionally and he was wearing a look of pure concentration that she thought was kind of cute. She pulled out her phone and snapped a quick photo of him, and smiled fondly. It was both a peaceful sight, seeing him so relaxed and in his element, and at the same time she had to admit that it was turning her on.

Elijah glanced over at her, having sensed her watching him, “enjoying the show?”

She walked over to him and leaned against the counter next to him. She shrugged, “possibly. Maybe a little. This smells really good,” she told him.

He chuckled playfully, “yeah? Would you like to try?” he asked as he grabbed the wooden spoon he was using and took some of the sauce before raising it.

She smiled, “sure.” Elijah brought the wooden spoon to her lips, keeping his other hand underneath it so it wouldn’t spill.

“Open up.” She opened her mouth and he fed her the sauce and as soon as the warm sauce hit her tongue she let out a moan, her eyes fluttering closed.

“Mm, Elijah, this is… this is amazing!” she said, letting out another moan. Elijah smiled shyly, though she could see the delight on his face.

“I’m glad you like it. Now, why don’t you take a seat while I finish this up,” he suggested and went to grab a pot while she just hopped on the counter. Elijah looked over at her, “well, that’s certainly sitting down,” he quipped, letting out an amused chuckle.

She smirked, “your counter’s comfy. Besides, I get to watch you like this,” she argued. Elijah snorted.

“Oh, really?” he quipped, completely deadpan as he filled the pot with water and took out a packet of pasta. Hayley nodded and continued watching him as he cut some basil in small pieces, filling the kitchen with its intense aroma.

They stayed like that in silence, neither of them really feeling a need to fill it with conversation, and Hayley was perfectly content just watching Elijah cook. The water for the pasta started, so she decided to set the table and hopped down, going to grab two plates that she left on the counter next to Elijah, two forks and two glasses for water and set them all on the table before going back to lean against the counter. The pasta soon finished boiling, al dente of course, and Elijah drained it before adding a little olive oil, and Hayley let her eyes roam over his body as she continued watching mix the pasta then add the sauce to it and mix everything together. She grabbed the parmesan from the fridge and grated it, setting the small bowl of grated parmesan on the table just as Elijah filled the two plates with pasta.

“All done,” he said and set the plates on the table, and Hayley licked her lips as she took a seat beside him. “Bon appetite,” he said softly and she smiled as she brought the first forkful to her lips. As soon as she did, she closed her eyes and let out a moan.

“Mm… Oh my Gods, Elijah, this is… this is amazing! I love it!” she said as she chewed and swallowed.

Elijah smirked, “I’m glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it,” she grinned.

The two of them continued to eat mostly in silence, occasionally talking about work, about Klaus, Cami and Hope, about the rest of the Mikaelsons except for Mikael and Esther. When they finished, Hayley dried while Elijah washed the dishes and as soon as they were done, Elijah picked her up and set her on the counter, his hands on her hips. She let out a surprised yelp before putting her hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer. Their lips met halfway, and despite both tasting of pasta sauce, neither of them cared as their tongues tangled together, lips molded with each other. Hayley broke the kiss, panting slightly against his lips as she rested her forehead against his. 

“Elijah?” she asked, her voice a breathless whisper, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Yes?”

For a second she wanted to tell him right then and there. Everything, everything that she felt for him. But, there was that small voice in the back of her mind whispering ‘maybe he doesn’t feel the same’ and Hayley was too scared to find out, so instead she just shook her head slightly.

“Take me to bed,” she muttered against his lips.

Elijah didn’t need to be told twice and he simple grabbed hold of her, picking her up bridal-style and she squealed, half-surprised, half-delighted and swung her legs as he carried her to his bedroom. _Their bedroom._


	30. You Can Hear It In the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A painful date brings back someone Elijah wasn't ready to face. Elijah and Klaus have an encounter with Jackson. Hayley and Elijah finally have an honest conversation.

Even in his drunken stupor, Elijah managed to make it to the E.R., although his vision was blurry and he couldn’t quite stand straight. The nurse’s words continued to ring in his ears as he stumbled around. _Katherine. Jonathan. Accident._

“Katherine!” he yelled as he tried to scan the room for his wife. At this point, he didn’t care about the cheating, about the fact that the two of them were falling apart. All he cared about was finding Katherine and making sure she was okay. “Katherine! Katherine!” he yelled, still stumbling around. A hand caught onto his arm, and he turned to find one of his colleagues looking at him concerned.

“Elijah? You okay?” she asked worriedly, still gripping his arm.

“Fine,” he grumbled, wrenching his arm out of her grasp. “Where- where is Katherine. I need to see her. And, Jonathan… please, I need to- I need to see them…” he trailed off, practically choking on his words. _Oh God._ “Katherine… I need to see her, please,” he practically begged, his voice shaking.

“Elijah.” He turned to find another colleague, though she was blurry.

“Wh- what happened?” he managed to ask, feeling tears prickle at his eyes.

“They were on the way from school. Car ran the red light and T-boned into them. Katherine is alright, she’s in surgery, we’re trying to stabilize her.”

“A- and Jon?” he managed to ask, his words slurred. Rose said nothing, and took a deep breath as if bracing herself. Elijah’s heart started beating harder. At that moment, Code Blue was announced through the speakers, and a loud beeping came from one of the trauma rooms. The doors opened, and a few nurses ran in with a crash cart. Elijah stumbled in that direction automatically, as if deep down he knew. “J- Jonathan!” he managed, his own voice sounding so unlike himself, and his lips shook. The doctors were performing CPR, one of his colleagues pressing hard on his pale chest. “J- Jonathan!” he yelled again, stepping closer to the trauma room. 

“We’re losing him,” one of them said, and Elijah shook his head.

“No, we are not!” another one snapped. “Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”

Nothing.

“Charge to 200!” she yelled, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest, his ears ringing. “Clear!” 

Nothing. Elijah reached for something to hold onto, to steady himself, but found nothing as his heart hammered in his chest.

“Still nothing,” one of the residents muttered.

“Charge to 250!” she ordered. “Clear!”

Nothing. Elijah felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was on fire.

“J- Jonathan…” he muttered, but it was useless to call his name now. His vision blurred with tears, and a few spilled onto his cheeks, and he reached to wipe them away immediately.

The doctors had resumed CPR, but nothing.

“Charge to 300!” she ordered, and Elijah’s heart beat faster as he stared in front of him.

“Come on, Jonathan,” he muttered. “Come on, mate. You can do this, c’mon, buddy!” he muttered, panting slightly as he continued to stare at what was happening in front of his eyes. “Come on, Jon, buddy,” he continued to mutter

“Clear!” the doctor yelled while Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest.

“C’mon, Jon, c’mon, buddy you can do this,” he muttered, his own eyes glassy with tears while his cheeks were tearstained. “Come on, Jonathan!” he screamed, sounding choked.

With a start, Elijah woke up, and the word ‘Jonathan’ died on his lips as he let panted, covered in sweat, his sheets twisted around him. _It was just a nightmare. No, not just a nightmare. The nightmare that was his life._ Instinctively, he reached for Hayley, but the other side of the bed was empty and he recalled that she was at the hospital, working. He panted, his breath coming out in a ragged gasp before burying his face in his hands, and letting out a painful sob, tears spilling onto his cheeks. Gods, his chest hurt. And, he desperately craved a drink. Especially today of all days. This time he didn’t have one blissful moment of forgetting what day it was, this time he knew what day it was, had known and been dreading it for weeks. Not that it made it any easier. No amount of preparation made today any easier. It was now three years without Jonathan, three years without his little boy, and the realization hit Elijah like a ton of bricks and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. His bedside digital clock read 0545 November 13. Not that he needed another reminder of what day it was. He desperately wanted to crawl back into bed and cry himself to sleep, but he knew that would just be a one-way trip to a relapse, so instead he got out of bed. After relieving himself, washing his face and brushing his teeth, he put on gym clothes and grabbed his gym shoes, deciding to go to the gym to box. 

As he walked to the gym, his mind drifted away to long-since buried memories, yet today of all days it was impossible to push them away.

_Elijah stood in front of the door to Katherine’s hospital room. At some point, Rose had come down to the morgue and pried him away from the table. And, somehow he’d made it to the bathroom where he’d promptly thrown up in the toilet. Katherine’s surgery finished successfully, but that somehow didn’t make him as happy. Of course he was happy Katherine was alive. But, it wasn’t enough. Because Jonathan was dead. And, nothing could fix that, nothing could fill the emptiness, the void he now felt in his chest. He could hear muffled sobbing from inside, and he’s heart ached as he was reminded that he wasn’t the only one who had lost Jonathan. She’d lost him, too. He knocked softly on the door. When Katherine didn’t say anything, he pushed the door open and stepped inside. And, the sight on the other side of the door knocked the air out of his lungs. Katherine was sitting up, her body angled away from the door, and violent sobs filled the air, and Elijah winced. It felt like a knife was being twisted in his chest as he stood there and watched her cry. His eyes were red from crying and tears prickled at his eyes, threatening to spill again. Katherine turned to him and sniffled._

_“’Lijah…” she started and trailed off with a gasp._

_He shook his head and sniffled, “I don’t-” he cut himself off, his voice trembling, almost breaking. “I don’t know what to say I- Katerina…” he trailed off, unable to say anything more, his throat closing up. His vision blurred and he had to brace himself against the doorway. Katherine let out another pained sob, and Elijah’s heart clenched. He couldn’t take it anymore. In three long steps he was next to her, and when she didn’t say anything he crouched next to the bed and reached for her hand, taking it in both of his. Again, Katherine said nothing, the only sounds from her coming in pained, rage-filled cries. He kissed her knuckles gently and sniffled._

_Katherine shook her head and sniffled, and Elijah realized that she was muttering something._

_“Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne,” she kept muttering, the one-syllable word coming out in short gasps as she continued shaking her head, tears streaming down her face. He knew what the word meant. Ne. No in Bulgarian. And, his heart broke. He reached out to stroke her hair gently, pushing her long tangled curls away from her neck and face. “Ne, ne, ne,” she repeated, her voice breaking. “Ne, ne, ne moga, ne… ne, ne, ne,” she blubbered as he continued to stroke her hair and hold her hand. It was only when he lifted his head slightly that he realized he’d been silently crying, too. Then, she switched to English, “I can’t- I can’t do this… I can’t, no, I can’t, no, no, no… no,” she sobbed, her breath coming out in short gasps while he continued to hold her hand._

_He sniffled, “I don’t- I’m sorry… I don’t know what to say Katerina,” he muttered, his own voice broken._

_“Don’t… don’t say anything, please,” she whispered in a pleading tone. “I just- I can’t do this… ne, ne moga… I can’t- I can’t do this,” she sobbed, switching between English and Bulgarian. [He didn’t know the language but being married to Katherine for so long, he’d picked up on a few phrases. Now, she wasn’t saying anything in particular, just repeating ‘no, I can’t’ in both languages]._

_Slowly, he slipped into the bed beside her, and curled himself around her, resting his cheek against her head and pressed a kiss to her temple. Katherine didn’t fight him, not this time. No, this time she just cried in his arms, her body shaking even as he pressed himself against her, her sobs filling the air. And, as he continued to hold her he wept, too, his own cries muffled._

Elijah shook his head and pushed the memory away as he arrived at the gym. He pushed the door open and changed into his gym shoes in the locker room before going in. Lucky for him, the boxing area was empty, so he just wrapped his hands before finding a punching bag slightly away from all the other ones. He braced himself, curling his fists, and swung. His fist connected with the punching bag with a loud pow that caused the punching bag to swing, making a rattling noise.

_“Hold onto him, Elijah,” she said. “Don’t let him go,” she said as she gripped his arm._

_“I won’t. I promise. Now, let’s go get ice-cream,” he said, smirking playfully as the three of them continued to walk. Then, Katherine pulled away and pulled out her camera._

Elijah swung again and punched. Bam! He _had_ broken that promise, he _had_ let go, he had let himself spiral and lost sight of what mattered. He’d forgotten about Jonathan that day and it had led to Jonathan being with Katherine when that car has hit. The accident may not have been his fault, but Jonathan being there had been. He swung again and punched. And, punched again. And, again. His fists connected with the punching bag rapidly, making loud booming sounds that echoed throughout the gym. He swung again, this time his leg.

_“I’ll leave you to it,” Rose said sadly, and shut the door behind her. Elijah nodded, his eyes filled with tears, his throat closed up._

_Elijah made his way shakily to the table, and with trembling hands he moved the sheet to reveal his sons face. Jonathan looked so peaceful, like he was asleep, his dark brown curls like a halo around his face. The only indication was that he was too pale, and his face had a few cuts on it, but it was still his face, and Elijah reached to stroke it gently._

_“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, choking on a sob as tears fell from his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated as he continued to caress Jonathan’s face. “I love you so much, Jonathan, and I’m so sorry,” he continued, and broke off into a sob. He took a deep, shaky breath as more tears fell down his cheeks, and he cradled Jonathan’s face gently in his hands, letting out a pained cry. Tears streamed down his face and he wept, unashamedly, as he cradled his son’s face and, his fingers gently stroking it while he muttered, “I’m sorry,” repeatedly. He let out another anguished cry, and gasped, as if he couldn’t breathe. Because, how could he? How could he breathe when his son was dead?_

He panted as his fist connected with the punching bag again, making a loud, rattling sound as the punching bag itself swung from the impact. He swung again, this time kicking it with his leg. Then, again. And, punched. Again. And, again.

_“Elijah,” Rose said gently as he stood up shakily. “Jonathan sustained a lot of injuries, and we tried to fix them. But, unfortunately, the damage was too extensive, and he lost too much blood… despite our best efforts, he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry, Elijah.”_

_He shook his head, slowly, “no,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “No, no, no,” he repeated, choking on a sob, and tears spilled down his cheeks as he continued to shake his head, muttering, “no, no, no,” repeatedly. No, it couldn’t be, he wanted to scream, but deep down he knew it was true._

_“I’m so sorry, Elijah,” Rose repeated sadly, but he didn’t hear her._

_He let out a pained cry as tears continued to stream down his face, and he took in a shaky breath before letting out another sob, “no! No! No!” he continued to cry as he fell back into the waiting room chair. “No! No! No!” he continued to weep, his body shaking, wracked by agonizing sobs, and he clutched at the chair for support, feeling like his chest was on fire, like he couldn’t breathe._

He grunted and swung again, his fist connecting with the punching bag. And, again. His movements grew in intensity and force as he continued to swing and punch. Over and over again. His whole body propelled forward, and he threw his entire weight with every punch as he continued to swing and punch, his fists connecting with the punching bag in a frenzied movement. He felt slight pain in his knuckles, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care if his hands would be bruised. Hell, he didn’t care if he broke his hand somehow. He didn’t care because none of it mattered because it was November 13 and now it was three years since J died. Three fucking years since his drunken spiral had caused him to forget about Jonathan which had led to Jonathan being in the accident, and obviously to his death.

_“I don’t- I can’t,” he stumbled over his words, and swallowed back tears. “I cannot talk to Katerina because I cannot forgive her. What she did… it was unforgivable,” he added in a cold tone._

_“Oh, c’mon, Elijah!” Elena exclaimed. “It was an accident. And, speaking of unforgivable… the only reason Katherine was picking up Jonathan was because y-” she shot back, but Elijah cut her off, unable to hear the hard truth._

_“I’m aware why she was picking him up!” he snapped, tears threatening to fall, but he blinked them back. He wouldn’t cry here, not now. “I know I had my own role in what happened. But, that doesn’t mean I forgive her. Maybe that makes me a monster, but it is the truth. I cannot forgive her, and I cannot forgive myself.”_

He hadn’t been lying to Elena back then. But, Elena had been right. The only reason Katherine was picking J up that day, the only reason his son had been in the car when that truck had hit was because of him, because he’d been too drunk to realize he was meant to pick him up, because he was too drunk to be a father. Elijah swung again, and his fist connected with the punching back with a loud smack! He repeated the motion and his fists continued to connect with the punching bag, his movement rapid and frenzied, fueled by rage, and grief, and guilt, and self-hatred. Mostly self-hatred.

_“Oh, there’s not much to say about that,” Mikael quipped, rolling his eyes. “What do you know about being a father?” he snorted, and Elijah flinched. “You’re not a father anymore.”_ His father’s voice echoed in his head as he swung again and punched, his fist connecting with the punching bag, making a loud, booming sound that echoed throughout the gym. Briefly, he imagined his father’s face, but deep down he knew it wasn’t his father’s face he was imagining every time his fist connected with the punching. It wasn’t anyone else he could have shifted the blame to. No, it was his own face. Because he was the one to blame for what had happened above all. He swung again and punched, hard, the punching bag making a rattling sound as it swung from the force of the impact. Not that Elijah really cared.

_Jonathan was lying motionless in the trauma room as Elijah stumbled inside, surrounded by tubes and wires, and the doctors were pumping his chest. His dark brown curls were barely visible, matted by sweat and blood. So much blood. Elijah gasped, frozen in horror._

_“J- Jonathan!” It came out as a strangled yell, and he made a noise in the back of his throat as he braced himself on a wall. “Jonathan,” he repeated, sounding choked, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped closer to the bed._

_“Elijah, you can’t be in here,” someone said, but he didn’t hear them._

_“We’re losing him,” one of the doctors yelled, and Elijah shook his head. No, it couldn’t be. Not Jonathan. Not now. He couldn’t lose him_

_“No, we are not!” another one snapped. It was Rose. “Not in front of his father we’re not! Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”_

_Nothing._

Again, he swung and punched, his fists connecting with the punching bag in a rapid, frenzied movement, making a booming sound and causing the punching bag to rattle from the force of the impact. He was putting his whole weight into it, letting out all the rage, all the grief, all the anger and the self-hatred fuel every single punch.

_“I didn’t- I didn’t know you could love someone so much,” Elijah muttered and pressed a kiss to his son’s face. His son. The little boy was already everything to him. He heard Rebekah snap a few pictures, but he didn’t mind. The baby cooed and whimpered, and Elijah rocked him gently. “Shh,” he whispered._

That day he had made a promise to his son. That he would always protect him. And, he had broken it. He swung and punched. Then, kicked with his leg. Then, punched again. 

_Look, daddy! Dis me an you! Daddy my hewo!_ Jonathan’s soft, squealing voice, filled with delight echoed in his head and Elijah remembered coming home from work and being greeted by his son, excited to show him a drawing. Elijah would scoop him up in his arms, and tickle him as he carried him to the living room, and Jonathan would squeal loudly, his contagious laughter filling the air. But, Jonathan had been wrong, because he was no hero. He had broken his promises and Jonathan was gone. And, he’d been gone for the past three years. _Three years._ The mere thought hurt.

_“I’m so sorry, Katerina, but everything’s going to be okay… he’s going to be okay,” he said, choking on a sob, and reached for her, to comfort her, to hold her, but Katherine moved away._

_“No! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” she screamed, enraged, pulling away from him, and he flinched, pulling back immediately. “Don’t you dare touch me! This is- this is your fault!” she screamed, and began moving around agitated, and he stepped back, almost stumbling into the chair behind him, the IV in his arms long forgotten as Katherine continued to scream and thrash around._

Elijah squeezed his eyes tightly shut and grunted as Katherine’s hysterical voice continued to echo in his mind. Again, he swung and punched, his fist hitting the punching bag with force, causing a loud, booming sound to echo throughout the gym, the punching bag making a rattling sound as it swung from the impact. But, Elijah didn’t care. Because the voices of his father and brother, even if Niklaus had said it in anger at the time, telling him he wasn’t a father anymore echoed in his mind along with Katherine’s voice telling him it was all his fault, the sound of the EKG beeping as Jonathan was still in V-fib in the trauma room, Rose’s voice telling him that Jonathan didn’t make it, that the injuries were too severe. And, his own voice, too. Telling him it had been all his fault. All his fault. If it hadn’t been for him falling off the wagon Jonathan would still be here. Elijah’s fist connected with the punching bag with a loud boom.

Elijah wasn’t sure how long he continued to punch and kick the punching bag, time having no meaning at all, until his muscles ached, until his body was covered in sweat, until his knuckles actually hurt, until his chest felt like it was on fire. He panted and heaved a sigh as he finally stopped when his alarm beeped. He glanced at his phone. It was 0750. He’d been at this for about two hours. Deciding to call it a day, he unwrapped his hands to find that his knuckles were slightly bruised, grabbed his bag and went to change his shoes before leaving the gym.

* * *

After getting back from the gym, Elijah took a shower and drank his coffee, unable to actually eat before grabbing his bag and putting two new sets of scrubs, his sneakers and scrub cap since he’d taken everything to wash after his last shift. He held the dinosaur scrub cap in his hands a few moments longer, and felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill.

“Forgive me,” he muttered, his voice almost breaking. “Forgive me, Jonathan,” he repeated. Then, he put the scrub cap in his bag, and went to get dressed. As he finished buttoning his shirt, his mind drifted to another memory.

_Elijah finished putting on his tie and swallowed thickly. There were fresh tear tracks on his cheeks and his eyes and nose were red from crying. He sniffled and grabbed a Kleenex from the nightstand and wiped his face and blew his nose. It was pointless really when he was going to cry more today, but still._

_“Elijah?” He turned to find Rebekah standing there, wearing a sad expression and makeup that hid any trace of crying she’d done earlier._

_“Yeah?”_

_“We’re ready to go. Do you mind checking on your- on Katherine?” she asked him gently, her voice shaking slightly._

_He nodded, “of course,” and moved to leave, but she stopped him in the hallway as he passed her by. “I’m fine, Rebekah, really. I’m managing,” he told her and walked past her, going to his wife’s bedroom. [They were staying at the Plantation house outside New Orleans, and Katherine was just staying in the room the two of them considered theirs every time they visited while he had stayed in one of the many spare rooms]. The door was open and he stood in the doorway for a few seconds watching as Katherine seemed to fumble with her necklace. She was wearing a simple, A-line black dress with lace details at the hem and her curly hair was cascading down her shoulders. She was wearing makeup, though he could still see her red nose and there were Kleenexes bunched up all over her dressing table and a box of Kleenex next to it._

_“Need any help?” he finally asked, and Katherine turned to him, her eyes glassy with tears._

_She seemed to hesitate, and her chin quivered before she finally nodded and he entered the room. He hadn’t been here in months, and yet nothing had changed. Katherine’s favorite perfume hadn’t changed either, and he inhaled sharply as the scent wafted through his nostrils, invading his senses. Gently, he took the necklace she was trying to put on and noticed it was the golden cross that had been Jonathan’s. The one they’d gotten when they baptized him._

_She’d noticed him staring at it and met his gaze in the mirror. “I just thought- I felt like I needed to feel close to him, today,” she admitted, her voice shaky._

_He nodded, “I understand. Allow me,” he muttered._

_Then, he swept her hair over her shoulder, and tried not to think too much about its silky texture, or how soft Katherine’s skin felt as his fingers brushed against it. He tried not to notice Katherine inhaling sharply, or how her skin prickled, or how she watched him when he wasn’t looking. They hadn’t been close like this in so long, and yet they slipped into an easy familiarity. Slowly, he fitted the necklace and clasped it shut, and looked up, meeting Katherine’s gaze in the mirror once more. The two of them stood there for a few seconds, and Elijah pressed his body closer to hers, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head._

_“We should go,” he said softly as he stepped back. “Are you ready?”_

_Katherine raised an eyebrow, “are you ready, Elijah? To bury our son? Are you ready for that?” she demanded, and despite her quite voice he could hear the slight inflection in her tone, could hear the snark._

_He shook his head, “I don’t think I’ll ever be.”_

_She sighed, “but, we have to,” she sighed sadly and dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex._

_“Unfortunately we do. Shall we?” he asked her, offering her his hand. At first, Katherine hesitated, but then she walked over to him and looped her arm through his, resting her head against his arm and reached to take his hand, lacing their fingers together._

_“Let’s go,” he muttered, feeling his throat closing up._

Elijah shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, pushing the memory away. He sniffled and felt a few tears spill down his cheeks, and reached to wipe them away. With a heavy sigh, he finished buttoning his shirt, grabbed his duffel bag and work bag, put on his trench coat and left his place. He threw his things in the trunk and got in and drove to the cemetery.

* * *

The drive to the cemetery was short and Elijah did his best to focus on the road and try to not let his mind drift away. He remembered the last time he’d been there, almost three months earlier, for Jonathan’s birthday. He would have turned seven, he should have turned seven, and Elijah shouldn’t be visiting his grave, but driving him to school. Back then, he’d had Hayley by his side, her presence comforting, but Hayley was working. [Elijah knew that if he had asked, if he had told her what today was, she would have come with. But, he hadn’t because she had been so stressed lately because of Jackson being back and he didn’t want to add to that stress]. Elijah parked his car and got out, walking slowly towards the cemetery while he tried not to remember the funeral, but it was impossible, the memories were everywhere, invading his mind.

_Elijah wasn’t listening to what the priest was saying as he sat there besides Katherine, Rebekah on his other side, Elena on the other side of Katherine._

_“And, now Jonathan’s father, Elijah will say a few words,” the priest announced. Whose idea was it? Had he even agreed? It didn’t matter now. Elijah stood shakily and made his way to the tiny coffin. He remembered his peds rotation and how he’d lost a patient, and asked his attending about the tiny coffins. ‘Don’t think about the tiny coffins, Mikaelson. I try not to. I see them all the time in my sleep. So, when I’m awake? I try not to think about the tiny coffins.’ Elijah could see now that he would never had lasted a single day in peds. But, now the tiny coffin they’d put Jonathan in was the only think he could think about._

_“I-” he cut himself off, his throat closing up. “I- it’s too soon… it’s too soon,” he shook his head, his vision becoming blurry from the tears that threatened to fall. He swallowed thickly, “I can’t- I’m sorry, I can’t… I just-” he stopped himself again and sniffled. He reached to rest his hand on the tiny coffin. “Forgive me,” he finally said, his voice breaking. And then, he went back to his seat and pulled out the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the tears that had spilled from his eyes. Rebekah leaned closer and rubbed his arm in comfort, not that it really offered that much comfort._

Elijah shook his head, pushing the memory away as he walked closer to Jonathan’s grave. And, froze as he noticed a figure standing in front of it. No, not just a figure. A woman. And, he knew exactly who she was. Katerina Petrova stood in front of the grave, holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand. Elijah closed his eyes briefly before opening them as he remembered one of the last moments he had with his ex-wife after their son’s funeral.

_As the mourners walked away, Elijah stayed behind. He told Rebekah and Elena to go ahead as well with their boyfriends, that he would bring Katherine back inside. And, now he watched his wife, well, soon to be ex-wife stand in front of the headstone in Lafayette Cemetery. Her hair hung down her shoulders, hiding her face from view, but Elijah didn’t need to see her face to know she was crying. She sniffled and rested her hand against the headstone, and Elijah slowly walked closer to her. He didn’t touch her, he didn’t dare, but he just stood there, tears prickling at his own eyes, threatening to fall. Finally, Katherine turned to him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks in long, black streaks from the mascara she was wearing, and her eyes were glassy and red rimmed._

_“I miss him so much,” she blubbered, her voice breaking into a sob. “I just- I want him back, ‘Lijah,” she begged, her voice broken. “I want my little boy back,” she sobbed._

_“I know,” he muttered, his own throat closing. “I know. Me too,” he added. A few tears spilled down his cheeks, but he didn’t wipe them away. Instead he handed his handkerchief to her._

_“Thank you,” she muttered. “I feel empty. I feel so empty, ‘Lijah and I miss him so much,” she sobbed, and finally he reached to wrap his arm around her, pulling her to him as she let out another sob. “I want him back, I want my little boy back,” she sobbed as he rubbed her back gently._

_“I know,” he said, his own voice breaking. “I want him back, too,” he added, his voice shaking, and he choked back a sob. Katherine whimpered and pressed herself closer to him as she began to cry, and he stifled another sob as tears fell down his cheeks. He held Katherine tightly, her face buried against his chest, and he wept unashamedly, his sobs muffled while Katherine’s hysteric cries filled the air._

Elijah shook his head and blinked them memory away as he took a few steps closer to her.

“Katerina?” he finally said, sounding surprised. And, finally, Katherine looked up and her shoulders slumped as she let out a sigh. She sniffled and reached to wipe at her eyes.

“Hello, Elijah,” she said. “It’s good to see you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” he said coldly. “What are you doing here, Katherine?”

“Oh, come on, Elijah,” she rolled her eyes. “What does it look like I’m doing?” she quipped. “I’m visiting my son’s grave,” she told him, though it was quite obvious. “Oh, yeah, he was my son, too, in case you’d forgotten,” she added in a snarky tone.

“You don’t see surprised to see me,” he said instead.

“Yeah, I know you’ve been back from the army for a few months now. Elena’s told me all about that,” she replied.

“Right,” he nodded. Awkward silence settled between them as they stood there before Katherine finally stepped back and Elijah stepped forward. “Well, I suppose I won’t see you again. Have a nice life, Katherine,” he said, his tone cold. Katherine nodded, and began to walk away, but then she stopped and turned.

“Actually, Elijah, you will be seeing me quite a lot,” she said, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips and Elijah’s stomach churned nervously. This was not good. “I’m back,” she said, nodding, and stepped closer to him. He stiffened as he inhaled her favorite, signature perfume. “I’m here to stay. I’ll see you around, Elijah,” she said and kissed his cheek. And then, she turned around and walked away, leaving Elijah staring after her, feeling sucker punched.

Elijah sighed and bowed his head as he recalled the last time he had seen his ex-wife.

_They had packed Jonathan’s things into two memory boxes and Elijah taken his to his car before returning to grab his jacket and say goodbye. And, now him and Katherine stood in the hallway of the place they used to call home, the place they had raised Jonathan for four years. But, the place was no longer the same. Oh, sure, it looked the same, but it no longer felt the same. At least not to him. Now it felt cold and empty, devoid of warmth and the feeling of home. They said home was where the heart is, and now Elijah understood why the place no longer felt like home. Because Jonathan, the heart for both him and Katherine was gone. The air was thick with tension and awkwardness and a thousand things left unsaid, and you could cut through that tension with a knife._

_Katherine sighed, “so, I guess this is it, isn’t it?” she finally said, taking a step towards him._

_He nodded, “yeah, this is it.” He sighed. This was harder than he had thought. He had thought signing the divorce papers would have been hard, but somehow saying goodbye to this woman, this woman he had loved, this woman who had given him everything and taken it all away was so much harder. “I- I’m going to rehab,” he finally said for lack of anything else to say._

_She nodded, “that’s- that’s good,” she said and sniffled._

_“And, I’m going to the army after that. I just- I really need to do something else, and I… I’m going to go and be surgeon there and I just- I don’t even know why I’m telling you. But, I am,” he added, rambling slightly._

_Katherine seemed a little surprised, “oh? Do you think it’ll help?”_

_He shrugged, “I don’t know. I suppose I’ll find out.”_

_“Okay. Well, I’m gonna stay here until end of my contract which is luckily in a few months. Then, I think I’ll go back to Bulgaria,” she told him as if this was their thing now._

_“That’s good,” he nodded and tried to smile, but couldn’t._

_“I guess this is goodbye,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper._

_“I guess it is,” he said as he took off his wedding band. Katherine took hers off. And then, he put his in her hand and she put hers in his. Their fingers curled with each other as they stood there, staring deeply into each other’s eyes._

_“I love you,” she finally said in a breathless whisper._

_“I love you, too,” he admitted. But, it would not change anything. And then, she pulled away and he curled his fingers around the wedding band in his hand while she held his tightly. He turned around, forcing himself to look away. “Goodbye, Katerina,” he said. And then, he walked out the door._

Elijah shook his head and blinked back the memory, and reached with a shaking hand to touch the headstone. He stood there for several long minutes, just running his fingers over the words engraved on it. _Jonathan Christopher Mikaelson. 09.20.2012 – 11.13.2016._ _Our little Angel. Rest in Peace._

Finally, he muttered, “forgive me, son,” and choked back a sob. And then he wiped away the tears that had spilled down his cheeks and turned around and left, trying hard not to break in the middle of the cemetery.

* * *

The hospital doors slid open, and Elijah stepped inside the cool lobby of the hospital. Today, of all days, he couldn’t even bear to look at the sign, not that he needed to read it to know what it said. St. John’s Memorial Hospital. The name obviously had nothing to do with Jonathan, but it served as just another reminder on a day when Elijah really didn’t need any more reminders.

_Even in his drunken stupor, Elijah managed to make it to the E.R., although his vision was blurry and he couldn’t quite stand straight. The nurse’s words continued to ring in his ears as he stumbled around. Katherine. Jonathan. Accident._

_“Katherine!” he yelled as he tried to scan the room for his wife. At this point, he didn’t care about the cheating, about the fact that the two of them were falling apart. All he cared about was finding Katherine and making sure she was okay. “Katherine! Katherine!” he yelled, still stumbling around. A hand caught onto his arm, and he turned to find one of his colleagues looking at him concerned._

_“Elijah? You okay?” she asked worriedly, still gripping his arm._

_“Fine,” he grumbled, wrenching his arm out of her grasp. “Where- where is Katherine. I need to see her. And, Jonathan… please, I need to- I need to see them…” he trailed off, practically choking on his words. Oh God. “Katherine… I need to see her, please,” he practically begged, his voice shaking._

_“Elijah.” He turned to find another colleague, though she was blurry._

_“Wh- what happened?” he managed to ask, feeling tears prickle at his eyes._

_“They were on the way from school. Car ran the red light and T-boned into them. Katherine is alright, she’s in surgery, we’re trying to stabilize her.”_

_“A- and Jon?” he managed to ask, his words slurred. Rose said nothing, and took a deep breath as if bracing herself. Elijah’s heart started beating harder. At that moment, Code Blue was announced through the speakers, and a loud beeping came from one of the trauma rooms. The doors opened, and a few nurses ran in with a crash cart. Elijah stumbled in that direction automatically, as if deep down he knew. “J- Jonathan!” he managed, his own voice sounding so unlike himself, and his lips shook. The doctors were performing CPR, one of his colleagues pressing hard on his pale chest. “J- Jonathan!” he yelled again, stepping closer to the trauma room, still staggering, unsteady on his feet._

_The trauma room doors burst open. Jonathan was lying motionless in the trauma room as Elijah stumbled inside, surrounded by tubes and wires, and the doctors were pumping his chest. His dark brown curls were barely visible, matted by sweat and blood. So much blood. Elijah gasped, frozen in horror._

_“J- Jonathan!” It came out as a strangled yell, and he made a noise in the back of his throat as he braced himself on a wall. “Jonathan,” he repeated, sounding choked, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped closer to the bed._

_“Elijah, you can’t be in here,” someone said, but he didn’t hear them._

_“We’re losing him,” one of the doctors yelled, and Elijah shook his head. No, it couldn’t be. Not Jonathan. Not now. He couldn’t lose him_

_“No, we are not!” another one snapped. It was Rose. “Not in front of his father we’re not! Paddles! Charge to 150!” she ordered, and Elijah felt his heart leap in his throat as he watched her deliver the shock. “Clear!”_

_Nothing._

_“Charge to 200!” she yelled, and Elijah’s heart hammered in his chest, his ears ringing. “Clear!”_

_Nothing. Elijah reached for something to hold onto, to steady himself, but found nothing as his heart hammered in his chest._

“Ah! Brother!” Niklaus exclaimed, pulling Elijah out of his memory, and he realized that he had walked in Niklaus’ direction.

“Huh? What?” he muttered, blinking rapidly.

Niklaus’ expression became somber. “How are you holding up?”

Elijah shrugged, “I’m-” he stopped. _Be honest,_ he reminded himself. “I’m trying,” he admitted. His brother just nodded sadly.

“I would suggest that you take the day off, but we both know you’re better off here,” he said, and clapped his back comfortingly.

Elijah just nodded.

“Hayley wasn’t with you?”

Elijah shook his head, “she had to work the graveyard shift last night. Didn’t you take Hope last night?”

“I did. But, I thought Hayley would have taken the opportunity to be with you-” his brother cut himself off as realization dawned on him. “Oh. You didn’t tell her? Oh, Elijah,” he shook his head.

“I just- she had the graveyard shift,” he shrugged as if that explained everything, but his brother gave him a pointed look. “She’s been so stressed with this Jackson mess, I just didn’t want to add to her plate,” he admitted. Niklaus just shook his head.

“Oh, Elijah. You bloody martyr,” he sighed. “You have to get it through your head, that woman loves you,” he told him, and Elijah opened his mouth to argue, to tell Niklaus about Hayley’s confession in his office, but he was kept from doing so by his brother stiffening. “Elijah,” he started slowly, “your six o’clock,” he said in a low, warning tone.

Elijah turned and stiffened as well as he spotted none other than Jackson Kenner walking towards them. Of all days he could have showed up, he had picked possibly the worst. Without realizing what he was doing, Elijah curled his fist, bracing himself and inhaled sharply.

“Careful, brother,” Niklaus muttered.

Jackson had the audacity to smirk as he approached them, “doctors,” he said by way of greeting.

Elijah exhaled, “Jackson, you are aware your presence here is unwanted considering your last visit resulted in a hospital-wide lockdown,” he said in a snarky tone, though his voice was calm.

Niklaus had a glint in his eye Elijah knew all too well. “And, you got kicked out for belligerence,” he quipped, smirking, “mate.”

Jackson seemed unbothered. “Yeah, well, nothing stopping me from seeking medical attention,” he shrugged. Elijah glanced over at his brother. He didn’t believe him for a second, but he didn’t say anything.

“So, what was it? What was so wrong with you?” Niklaus demanded, clearly irritated.

This time, it was Jackson who smirked. “False alarm, I’m fine. Hayley gave me the exam.” Elijah stiffened at the mere thought that Jackson might have been in Hayley’s vicinity. “It was all in her special touch, but you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Elijah?” Jackson sneered and Elijah saw red. Rationally, he should have thought of the restraining order, the fact that Hayley shouldn’t have been forced to treat him, or even the fact that Jackson might have been lying. But, all rationale was long gone, and without even thinking, he swung, hard. And, punched Jackson square in the face. There was a loud, cracking sound and he felt pain shoot up his hand and forearm.

“Elijah, don’t!” Niklaus shouted, but it was too late.

Jackson merely chuckled, amused, and swung back, but Elijah managed to dodge him. He cracked his knuckles and curled his fist again and winced. _Well, great, now my hand’s broken_ , he thought. But then, Niklaus’ arm was on him and his brother was pushing him back. And then, Jackson swung again and hit Niklaus. Niklaus staggered back, groaning nd grunting, then held his own arm back and punched, hitting Jackson once again. Elijah was prepared to punch with his other hand, but then security was there pulling Jackson away, and Elijah himself felt someone grip him, pulling him back.

“Alright, take it easy, brother. Take it easy.” It was Kol.

“Alright, man, stand back,” Marcel said to Niklaus as he pulled him back.

“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave or be forced to call the police,” one of the security guys said to Jackson as they dragged them away.

Elijah shook his head and pulled himself out of Kol’s grip. He scanned the area, and breathed out a sigh of relief that Hayley was nowhere in sight.

“You okay?” Kol asked him, concerned.

“I’m fine,” he muttered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” he snapped. “I’m fine!” And, with that he stormed off in the direction of the E.R. He need to get an X-ray of his hand, though he was certain something there was broken. He just hoped Hayley would be in the E.R., although maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. On one hand, he would be able to tell her that Katherine was back. On the other, he would have to tell her how he had broken his hand. By punching her soon-to-be ex-husband. Because that would go well.

* * *

Niklaus met him outside of Vincent’s office, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, a hint of amusement in his eyes. Elijah rolled his eyes, unsurprised. Nikaus had escaped relatively unscathed except for some bruised knuckles and a cut on his cheek. Elijah, on the other hand, hadn’t been as lucky. His right hand was in a splint, again, and he was holding a tablet with his X-rays in his other one.

“Ah, brother!” Niklaus said by way of greeting. “Come to receive our punishment?”

“Hello, Niklaus. Glad you’re feeling well,” he remarked sarcastically, and his brother merely rolled his eyes.

“Well, someone’s in a good mood,” Niklaus quipped, and Elijah flashed him a glare. “How’s the hand? I thought you could punch, all those boxing skills…” he teased, but Elijah glared at him, and he trailed off.

“Fourth and fifth metacarpal. It’s rather painful,” he grumbled, and Niklaus flashed him a pitying look. “And, Katherine’s in town,” he added, and his brother’s eyes widened in shock.

“Katherine as in Katerina? Elena’s sister?” his brother asked as if to make sure.

“The one and only,” he muttered, gritting his teeth. Niklaus flashed him a look of sympathy, and clapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“And, I reckon none of it is made any easier by today’s date,” he said softly, his expression somber. Elijah shook his head.

“Yeah, the irony isn’t lost on me,” he said with a sigh. His brother merely nodded sadly, and they both glanced towards the office. Elijah cleared his throat, “well, I suppose we should go in,” he said with a shrug.

“Time to face the music, eh?” Klaus said, slightly amused, clapping him lightly on the shoulder before opening the door.

Vincent was already waiting for them, pacing the length of his office, and unreadable expression on his face.

Elijah cleared his throat, but Vincent didn’t pay any attention.

Both he and Klaus started in unison, “Chief-” but they were cut off by Vincent himself as he finally stopped pacing.

He turned towards them, dark eyes blazing with fury, "why is it always you two?” he finally snapped angrily. “Whenever there's trouble in my hospital, it's one or both of you. Why is that?" he yelled, bracing himself with one hand against his desk. Then, he seemed to take note of Elijah’s injured hand and the tablet in his good hand, and he glared at him. "What happened to your hand, Elijah?” he demanded. Elijah just shrugged. “Let me guess, it’s broken,” he spat.

Elijah nodded, handing him the tablet with the scans. “Fourth and fifth metacarpal,” he said simply.

Vincent groaned, and squeezed his eyes shut, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then, he turned once again to him. “Fuck. What did you do, this time?” he demanded, still glaring. Elijah just sighed, but Vincent continued. “I swear, this better not become a habit. And if you were drunk again, I might be forced to fire you. I can't have that kind of liability..." he trailed off, and ran a hand over his face. “Fuck,” he muttered.

Elijah sighed heavily, "I punched Hayley's abusive ex. I promise that I was one-hundred percent sober," he told him, and Vincent mouth hung open in shock, but he closed it promptly.

“And, it was well-deserved,” Niklaus chimed in from next to him. “I tried to separate them, but he punched back. So, I punched him, too,” he added, and his lips stretched into a smirk.

Vincent groaned, “great. Just great. Just what I needed,” he grumbled to himself. “I swear you two have the worst possible timing,” he added, his expression one of annoyance, or irritation, or both.

“We do apologize, Chief,” Klaus said, his lips curled into a smirk, “but only for doing this in such a public place. And, I’m sure Elijah regrets breaking his hand.” Elijah just rolled his eyes at his brother’s antics.

Vincent just shook his head and grabbed a few folders, and sighed. “Well, Klaus looks like you earned yourself a day of suspension,” he announced and Klaus groaned. Then, he turned to him. “Now, Elijah, you get medical leave for the next four weeks,” he told him, and Elijah couldn’t help but groan.

“Really? I’m fine, I can still do consults,” he said quickly. “In fact, I insist. Please let me do consults,” he added, a desperate edge in his voice. Vincent sighed heavily. “You must see this, Chief. I mean, I don’t like to brag, but I am the best ortho surgeon you’ve got. And, look the circumstances were different today-” he started to argue, but Vincent cut him off. 

“I don’t give a shit about the circumstances. He could be Satan for all I care!” he snapped.

Niklaus chuckled, amused, “well, he’s not very far off,” he muttered, and Elijah couldn’t help but chuckle.

Vincent continued his tirade, “but, punching him is still not a solution! This is a damn hospital not a nightclub! I mean, the irony of this,” he turned towards Elijah once more, and he was gesturing rapidly with his hands, “the irony of this is that you’re an orthopedic surgeon! And, you keep breaking your hand punching people!”

Klaus snorted, “well, at least they’re insured,” he added. Elijah groaned while Vincent glared.

“Yes, I do apologize,” he said with a shrug, though he didn’t really mean it. He only regretted breaking his hand again.

“I mean, I can practically see our next pitch to investors: St. John’s Hospital: Where Surgeons Break Their Hands Punching People,” he chuckled bitterly, and Elijah exchanged a look with Niklaus.

“Well, it is a good punch line,” his brother piped up, amused. “No pun intended.”

“Niklaus,” he muttered in a warning tone. He didn’t think Vincent was amused. Then, he looked back at Vincent, “so. Back to the matter at hand. Can I still do consults?” he asked, deciding to return the attention to the issue.

Vincent groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose, “fine. You can do consults for the next four weeks while your bones heal. But, don’t you dare step into an O.R.,” he told him firmly, and Elijah nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Then, he cleared his throat, “so, Hayley’s ex. She’s told me the gist of it, nothing private, but I got the message,” he said, a little awkwardly. “Obviously, our priority is to protect her. But, let’s have security handle that, alright?”

“Fine by me,” Klaus shrugged.

“Elijah?”

He pursed his lips, his jaw set, “fine,” he conceded, gritting his teeth.

“Good. I know she has a restraining order again him, right?”

“Yes,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“Good. Well, I’ll brief security on the matter and Jackson Kenner is not stepping a foot in my hospital,” he said, and the two of them nodded.

“Thank you, Chief,” Elijah muttered gratefully. Klaus just nodded, and at that moment Klaus’ pager beeped.

“Uh oh. They need me for the incoming trauma. Well, as fun as this was I better go,” Niklaus said with a nod to both of them before turning around.

“Wait, hold on!” Vincent exclaimed, stopping him. “I said you’re suspended for a day!” he yelled, annoyed.

Niklaus rolled his eyes as he turned around, “well, my shift’s over in a few hours. You can suspend me tomorrow, Chief,” he said with a shrug. Vincent gritted his teeth, obviously irritated. Elijah had to hand it to his brother for negotiating the terms of his suspension. “And, you did say a day of suspension. I take it, that should be a whole day. So, suspend me tomorrow and let me go scrub in today,” he argued. At Vincent’s hesitant look, he added, “it’s a major trauma, Chief. They need general right now, and I am the best… and, the head of the department if you haven’t forgotten” he smirked.

Vincent sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat, “fine. Go scrub. But, that’s the last thing you’re doing today. And, I don’t want to see you here tomorrow. Understood?”

“Crystal,” Niklaus quipped sarcastically.

“Good. Now, go!” Vincent yelled, and his brother didn’t need to be told twice and he ran out of the office, leaving Elijah with the Chief.

There was an awkward silence before he cleared his throat and spoke up, breaking it. “Well, I should go, too. They could probably use with some spare hands in the E.R. since everyone is on the incoming trauma,” he said.

“No, you should go home, Elijah,” Vincent said, but he shook his head.

“I’m fine, honestly, Vincent,” he muttered.

Vincent gave him a sympathetic look, “listen, man, I know what day it is,” he told him, sounding strangely gentle, and Elijah tensed.

“I’m fine, Chief,” he said tensely, his jaw locked. “I can work.”

Vincent sighed heavily, “Elijah, look I know you think you can work, but I can only imagine how hard today must be for you. So, take the day off. You can come here tomorrow,” he told him firmly, but Elijah shook his head.

“Precisely,” he muttered. “Today is hard, you have no idea just how hard it is. But, that is exactly why I need to work. I need to,” he paused, and took a deep, calming breath before releasing it, “I need to work. I need to get my mind off what today means. I need to focus on something I can do. I cannot change the fact that he’s gone. And, it’s been three years. And, as much as I want to drink, I am trying really hard not to do that today. So, I need to work so I don’t drink, and so I can help someone else,” he paused, and met the other man’s gaze. Then, he continued, “God grant me the serenity to change the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference,” he recited, the words now imbedded in his mind from all the AA meetings he’d been attending. “I need to work, Vincent, so please let me do that,” he pleaded.

Vincent’s expression softened, and Vincent Griffith was not a soft man. “Fine,” he sighed, “you can work today. But, consults only.” Elijah nodded. “I see AA is going well for you,” Vincent added.

Elijah nodded. “It’s going better this time around,” he said with a shrug.

“Good, I’m glad. Okay, now get outta here so I can finish work. Try not to punch anyone else while you’re at it,” Vincent said, shooing him off. Elijah just rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“Good day, Chief,” he said as he opened the door and left.

As he walked out, his phone pinged with a message. It was Hayley. _Hey, can you please meet me on the rooftop?_ was all it said. Elijah sighed, and made his way to the rooftop.

* * *

Hayley paced the rooftop, occasionally stopping to take deep breaths while the events of that morning played in her mind on a loop. The incoming that morning. The woman on top of the victim, blowing through a ballpoint pen. Apparently, she’d criked a guy in the field with a ballpoint pen and a knife. Hayley had to admit it was kind of badass. And then, the woman had introduced herself. And, she was no random woman, but Katherine Petrova. Elijah’s ex-wife. And, Hayley had felt, and still felt sucker punched, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Katherine was in town. So, now here she was pacing, waiting for Elijah to show up and tell her why Katherine was in town and why she didn’t know about it, except all she could think about was that Katherine was back. Katherine, Elijah’s ex-wife. The mother of his child. The woman who broke his heart. The woman he had once loved. And, this was the part that hurt the most. That Elijah had loved Katherine. That Elijah had told Katherine he loved her. Something he had not done with Hayley. And, Hayley could have understood him not saying it before she did. But, she had said it. And, he didn’t say it back. And, a small part of her couldn’t help but think that he didn’t say it back because he didn’t feel it. Because he had only felt it for Katherine. Oh, sure, he cared about her, she knew that. But, did he love her? As much as she didn’t want to give in to that part of her that doubted his feelings for her, she couldn’t help it.

With a gasp, Hayley whirled around when the door to the rooftop opened, but she relaxed slightly upon seeing it was Elijah. And, at the same time her stomach tightened nervously. Now that he was here, she wasn’t sure quite what to say.

Elijah smiled upon seeing her, “hey, I’m glad you texted. I need to tell you something,” he said as he took a few steps towards her.

Hayley pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, yeah? Like what? That your ex-wife’s in town?” she snapped, her voice dripping with sarcasm and Elijah stared at her, clearly shocked. Whatever he expected her to say, he certainly didn’t expect her to snap at him. But, Hayley couldn’t keep it to herself anymore and it was all she could think about ever since Katherine had introduced herself. “Yeah, I met her. That was fun and completely unexpected, Elijah, thanks,” she added in a snarky tone. 

Elijah’s expression became one of regret, “Hayley, I’m sorry, I meant to warn you, but-” he said, shaking his head, his voice filled with regret as he took a few steps closer to her.

“Yeah, a warning would have been nice,” she bit back in a snarky tone, anger coursing through her, and she embraced it.

Confusion flitted across Elijah’s face, “are you mad at me?” he asked, and despite his confused tone, she could hear the hint of hurt in it too, and she felt a pang of regret, but she pushed it away.

“I’m not mad-” she cut herself off, and shook her head, “well, I am...” she trailed off and sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I just-” she cut herself off again. No, this wasn’t just about that. This was about everything and she couldn’t keep it anymore. “You know what? I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend anymore,” she finally said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Again, Elijah stared at her in confusion, “what do you mean?” he asked and took another step closer to her. “Hayley, please, whatever it is, you can tell me, you know that,” he said in a softer, pleading tone.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself. Tears prickled at her eyes, but she blinked them away. “I can’t pretend not to feel what I feel anymore. I love you, Elijah. I always have loved you. Yeah, I meant it before when I told you about Jackson. I love you. And, I mean it now. I love you, Elijah, I-“ she stopped herself, took a deep breath and looked at him again. Their gazes met, and her breath hitched in her throat at the surprised look in his eyes. “Elijah, ever since the day that I met you, I have felt _everything_ for you,” she confessed in a barely audible whisper, her voice thick with emotion. “And, all this time you were never able to say how you feel. And, I get it. You can’t just be the guy who says what he feels.” She paused and stared deeply into his dark brown eyes, her own eyes filled with tears. “Or at least, that's what I thought,” she paused and swallowed back tears and she could see confusion in Elijah’s eyes once again. “Then, when you didn't say it back when I said it, there was a part of me that worried why. But, I pushed it down. Tried not to think about it. I really, really tried, but… But now... with Katherine...” she paused, her voice sounding small and shaky, her heart hammering in her chest. “I can't help but think that it wasn't that you couldn't just say how you feel. That it was that you don't feel that way at all. That Elena was right the first time, and you're still in love with Katherine,” she finally admitted, the thing that had been haunting her for weeks now, and choked back a sob. Elijah took another step towards her, reaching for her, but she stepped back, recoiling away from him, not even seeing the look of pain in his eyes.

“Hayley,” he began to say, his own voice shaking, “let me explain, please-” he pleaded, but she cut him off.

“And, it wasn’t just that,” she shook her head, and sniffled, wiping away the tears that had spilled over her cheeks. “Do you remember after that first dinner with your parents?” He nodded. “When I told you you could stay, but you didn’t want to because-” she started to say, but this time it was Elijah who cut her off.

“You know why Hayley. I’m trying, Hayley, I’m really trying, but sometimes it’s still hard being around Hope and I can’t-”

“But, I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t just Jonathan you didn’t want to replace. That you didn’t want to replace Katherine with me either.” Her voice shook and she sniffled, reaching to wipe away the few tears that had fallen and she heard Elijah inhale sharply.

“Hayley-”

“And, a few weeks ago when we went out with Cami, Klaus and Hope. And, I told you that she saw you as more than Uncle Elijah. That you meant more to her… to both of us,” she whispered breathlessly, and swallowed back tears.

Elijah’s shoulders slumped and he sighed, “I know what I said,” he muttered, bowing his head.

She shook her head, “then can you blame me?” she asked him tearfully. At first Elijah didn’t say anything, but then he shook his head, and Hayley heart sank, and she let out a defeated sigh.

Elijah took another step towards her, and she stepped back so her back was pressed against the railing.

And, finally, he spoke, breaking the deafening silence that had settled. “No, I can’t blame you Hayley. And, I am truly sorry that I hurt you by making you think that that was the reason I…” he trailed off shaking his head.

“Tell me something,” she paused and swallowed back tears, and she could see the pain in Elijah’s eyes, but she ignored it, “do you love her?” When he opened his mouth to protest, she shook her head, not letting him speak, “just answer me this, Elijah. Do you still love Katherine? It’s an easy question, and I think we both deserve the answer to that,” she said, a slightly snarky edge to her tone. When he didn’t say anything, a thoughtful expression on his face, she shook her head and walked in the direction of the exit, walking past him. But then, he stopped her in her tracks.

“I don’t know what I feel for Katherine,” he said, and she could hear his voice shaking slightly. “I- she broke my heart,” he said, but she shook her head.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t love her. I’m asking whether you’re still in love with Katherine, so answer that question, Elijah. Are you?” she snapped, trying hard to keep her tears at bay. Still, she didn’t turn around, but Elijah seemed to take the hint because he began to speak either way.

“I don’t know.” She could practically see him shake his head, could hear the tremor in his voice and it killed her, but still she didn’t turn around to face him because she wasn’t sure she could bear to look at him right now. “And, that is the truth. Maybe there’s a part deep inside me that still cares about her, that still loves her in a way. But, I- Katherine broke my heart. She cheated on me, knowing everything about my mother, everything about Celeste, and still… she cheated on me. And, broke my heart and caused me to spiral. I don’t love Katherine, or at least I can’t bring myself to because I cannot forgive her for what she did. Because everything that happened three years ago, everything… me falling off the wagon, Jonathan dying… it’s all her fault. All of it was because of her cheating. And, I cannot forgive her for it, so no I don’t know if I love her. And, I’m certainly not in love with her because I’m in love with you.“ Hayley inhaled sharply, and heard Elijah take another step closer. “Hayley, please,” he practically begged, sounding on the verge of tears, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she wiped it away her heart hammering in her chest. Hearing Elijah like that, that emotional, clearly hurting was painful and she wasn’t sure she could walk away anymore. “Please look at me,” he added in a pleading voice. And, finally, she turned to face him and the look on his face was absolutely gut wrenching. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice soft, shaking with emotion. “I love you, Hayley Marshall. I’m in love with you,” he said, and she sighed, her shoulders slumping with relief. Her expression softened as she looked at her while her heart soared. She couldn’t believe it, yet the look in Elijah’s eyes, so full of love and devotion was enough to make her believe. “I love you,” he repeated. “I just-” he stopped himself, and only now did she notice that his lip quivered and that his eyes were glassy with unshed tears that were threatening to fall. And she noticed that he was gripping the railing of the rooftop so tightly his knuckles were white and his posture was tense. He was holding himself so tightly, trying so hard to keep from falling apart and it just occurred to Hayley that he was holding something back, and her heart beat faster, her stomach churning with worry.

Her expression softened, “Elijah,” she said softly, walking closer to him, “what is it? Why- why didn’t you say it before? Why didn’t you say it back when I said it?”

“I was just too scared to tell you,” he finally admitted.

“What? Why?”

“Because I- because it felt really selfish. And, I can’t be selfish with you, Hayley. You deserve better, so much better… better than me,” he finally said and she inhaled sharply, her gaze flickering to his. Elijah had a pained look in his eyes and he was on the verge of breaking. And, all she wanted to do was take him into her arms and hold him and never let him go. She took another step forward and reached for him, but he shook his head. “Please let me- let me finish. I don’t know- I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, so please,” he pleaded and she nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back when you did. I just- everything with Jackson, I wasn’t thinking straight, and I… but, what I’m truly sorry is how much pain I’ve caused you by not telling you. The truth is, I thought I was doing us both a favor,” he admitted, and Hayley inhaled sharply again, but didn’t say anything, just letting him finish. “I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return, you are uniquely vulnerable. They have a power to hurt you that’s like nothing else. And, I didn’t want- maybe it was just me I was protecting like that, I don’t know,” he shook his head. “But, it’s also that,” he paused, and looked away, and Hayley’s heart raced and she took a deep brace, preparing herself for the worse. But, Elijah didn’t look back at her even as he spoke again, like he couldn’t bear to be looking at her, “the truth is, Hayley, I didn’t tell you I love you because I don’t deserve you. You are so much better, so amazing, and smart, and brave and everything… and, I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me. I’m just too broken, too damaged, an alcoholic six months sober sometimes still barely holding on and no good for you. And, it just seemed cruel to tell you the truth of my feelings, that I love you, when I’m no good for you and you deserve so much better. And, yeah, part of it was for my own survival because I was certain there would come a day when you would realize you’re better off without me and I thought that not telling you how I felt would protect both of us… would make that easier for us,” he finally said, and sniffled, choking back a sob and Hayley inhaled sharply.

“Oh, Elijah,” she muttered, her heart breaking. She almost couldn’t believe what she’d heard, what she’d heard him say, but at the same time it made sense. At the same time, what he had said made sense. Not because it was true, but because it was what Elijah believed to be true. And, it broke her heart that he thought so low of himself. Instinctively, she reached for him and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

“Elijah,” she said softly as she wiped away a tear that had slid down his cheek, “please look at me,” she said softly, a pleading edge to her voice, and finally he did look, his dark brown eyes meeting hers. She brought up her other hand and rested it against his other cheek as well. “Listen to me,” she said firmly, “you are good for me. You are good enough for me. You are worth it. Worth it to me. You deserve love and happiness. You are not broken, or damaged, and I told you before, your alcoholism is not an issue for me,” she told him.

“Hayley, come on, I’m- I’m a mess. I’m just so screwed up,” he whispered in a shaky voice, choking back another sob. “I’m just damaged goods and you’re-” he started to say, but she cut him off.

“I don’t care. We’re all a little messed up sometimes. But, that doesn’t mean that we’re not worthy, that we don’t deserve love and happiness. And, you, Elijah, you deserve it most of all. Don’t say that you don’t deserve me because you do, Elijah. You deserve to be happy and to be loved,” she said softly, rubbing his cheeks gently. “Look, after everything, after everything that has happened to us, we are both still here. You are not alone. And, I think we deserve each other. We deserve some good, Elijah,” she said in a breathless whisper. “You think you don’t deserve me? But, you have no idea what you’ve done for me, how you changed my life in just a few months. You taught me what it’s like to be in love… you showed me what real love is, Elijah,” she whispered softly. “And, I love you. I love you. You are worth it. You are good enough. For me,” she said breathlessly.

“I love you, too,” he said, his voice shaky.

And then, she stepped closer to him, and she could feel electricity pulsing as their skin touched, and she reached and wrapped her arms around him, pressing herself to him. And, Elijah returned the embrace, wrapping his own arms around her, pulling her to him and she melted into his arms. And then, both of them let out a sob as they clung to each other desperately, just holding each other, their muffled sobs filling the air.


	31. Help Me Hold Onto You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley finds out about the significance of the date. Elijah continues to struggle with what happened three years ago, but makes some progress with Hayley

As he held her, or, rather, held on to her, Elijah still couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that she loved him, that she was in love with him, that despite all the pain he had caused her, despite how broken and damaged he was, Hayley Marshall still thought him worthy of her, still loved him, and was still here. Elijah hated that he had hurt her by not telling her the truth, he hated that he had caused her any pain at all. So, he promised himself that he would never hurt her ever again. As he held her, his face buried in her hair, he moved to press his lips to her jaw, then her neck, then her earlobe, then the crook of her neck.

“I love you,” he muttered against her skin, his voice raspy and low, and he felt Hayley shudder in pleasure as his lips touched her skin. “I love you,” he repeated, a breathless whisper into her ear. Tears spilled onto her skin, but Elijah didn’t care because Hayley Marshall was the only person he would ever let see him cry. “I love you,” he repeated breathlessly. “I love you, Hayley,” he whispered, his lips barely touching her skin. He felt Hayley’s hand cup the back of his neck, cradling his head in her palm while he continued to whisper his declarations against her skin. “I love you.”

Then, Hayley pulled apart slightly, guiding him so he would face her, and he rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you,” he muttered against her lips.

“I love you, too,” she whispered breathlessly against his lips, and rubbed her nose against his. “I love you, Elijah,” she repeated huskily, and his heart skipped a beat and he felt like a teenage boy falling in love for the first time. It wasn’t the first time for him, not even the second time. But, his previous two loves were nothing compared to his feelings for Hayley. Celeste had been all teenage hormones and best friends falling in love, and it had fizzled out fast, long before they actually broke up because it was familiar, and the history and the good times outshined the bad. But, eventually, Celeste had broken his heart, cheated on him knowing full well how much keeping his mother’s infidelity a secret had torn him apart. And then, there was Katerina. Katerina had been more deep than Celeste, but that was just it. With Katerina it had been all passion and infatuation, and they’d fallen in love too much too fast. Their marriage was never gonna last, having Jonathan just made it last a little longer, but even with Jonathan it had all fallen apart. Katerina had cheated and lied to him just like everyone else and broken his heart, sending him on a spiral that inevitably led to Jonathan’s death and the destruction of their marriage. Elijah pushed the thoughts of Jonathan and Katherine away, especially Katherine, deciding to savor this moment with Hayley.

“I love you, Hayley,” he repeated breathlessly against her lips.

“I love you, too,” she whispered.

Their lips met, tentatively, gently, as if testing the waters at first. Hayley’s lips were salty and slightly wet from the tears, but Elijah was pretty sure so were his. And then, the kiss deepened, Hayley slipping her tongue into his mouth, and he groaned, tightening his grip on her as she searched his mouth with her tongue. He did the same to her, his own tongue entering her mouth. Their lips molded with each other, teeth nipping, and biting, and sucking gently. The kiss grew more passionate, their lips more hungry and desperate against each other as Hayley’s hands joined at the back of his neck, clutching the chain of his army tags between her fingers, pulling him closer and he sank his fingers into her tresses, pulling on them gently. Their tongues tangled together, dancing to an all-too familiar rhythm. Their breaths came in short gasps for air every once in a while when they pulled apart to breathe. And then, their lips crashed against each other again in a frenzied movement filled with hunger and desire and need.

Hayley broke the kiss briefly, and her darkened eyes met his, which were probably just as dark.

“I love you,” she breathed out against his lips, her breath mingling with his.

“I love you, too,” he replied, just as breathlessly, staring deeply into her eyes. “I just-” he cut himself off, unsure if he should continue, but she nodded encouragingly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I just- I just didn’t think I deserve you, Hayley. I still don’t. You are too good for me,” he admitted, his voice husky and low.

She shook her head, “that is so not true, Elijah. You deserve love and happiness as much as anyone else. And, I love you. So, please, please believe me when I tell you, you are worth it to me,” she whispered softly, her voice laced with emotion.

And then, she kissed him again, more gently this time. This kiss was softer, slower, filled with comfort and reassurance in a way that words weren’t enough to be. He slid his uninjured hand to cup her cheek and his thumb caressed her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down his spine, fisting his shirt in her hands, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them, and he, too, pressed her body closer, his injured hand resting on her back, fingers running along her spine slightly. He could feel the beating of her heart against his chest, and he was sure she felt his, thumping rapidly, too.

After a while, they both pulled away, albeit a little reluctantly, both of them panting slightly, gasping for air. Elijah’s dropped his injured hand to his side while cupping Hayley’s cheek with his uninjured one, his thumb caressing her jaw while her hands rested on his chest.

“I love you,” he said softly, his voice hoarse, and she smiled, her eyes fluttering closed briefly as she sighed softly. He tilted his head up and pressed his lips to her forehead, kissing it gently, and Hayley sighed again, leaning into his touch as he cupped her cheek. When he pulled away, he looked at her once again.

“I love you, too,” she whispered softly, her hand dropping to her side and she stepped back slightly. And then, she stiffened when she looked down, and Elijah had a feeling why. “Elijah,” she said slowly as she took his injured hand in hers and lifted it up, “what happened?”

He sighed and groaned. Of course she had noticed, and he was pretty sure there was no getting out of it. “Nothing,” he said, brushing it off, “it’s nothing, Hayley, please don’t worry,” he said and took a step back. “I’m fine.”

She gave him an unimpressed look. “Really? Elijah, that’s not nothing,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, “and you and I both know it.” He shrugged, but didn’t say anything, which only served to annoy her more and she scoffed, irritated, “oh, come on, Elijah could you for once stop being so damn noble and tell me what’s going on?” she shook her head in annoyance. “I am only going to ask you this once, Elijah. What. Happened?” she demanded, inflection obvious in her voice as she narrowed her eyes at him.

He sighed and gave in. It was ridiculous to hide it, and Hayley would still find out. Better she found out from him. He shrugged. “Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just an orthopedic surgeon who broke his dominant hand twice in the past six months. Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal. Also, this time it just happened to be on your ex’s face,” he said in a snarky tone and shrugged.

Hayley snorted, and he was kind of glad she was amused rather than pissed at him. “Wait, you did what?” she asked, trying to keep in her laughter.

“I punched Jackson. And, I broke my fourth and fifth metacarpals,” he said. Hayley blinked several times as if she was trying to process what he had just told her, and then she just sighed. “He deserved it,” he added.

“Well, at least this time you broke different metacarpals, so there’s that,” she quipped drily. He chuckled. Then, she stepped closer and reached for his injured hand, holding it gently between her own, and rubbed her thumbs over the cast where his knuckles were. “Oh, baby,” she muttered softly, shaking her head. “Did he really deserve it?” she wondered and he opened his mouth to argue. His eyes widened with shock, but Hayley quickly continued, “no, I mean, of course he’s an asshole and probably deserved it, and I’m really flattered you punched him, but did he really deserve it that bad you had to break your hand?”

“Well, I don’t usually break my hands punching-” he cut himself off when he noticed the look she gave him. “Okay, fair enough, I’ve now broken my hand twice in the pastsix months punching people. I was drunk the other time and this time… I don’t know. It’s not as if I did something wrong,” he said and chuckled. “But, did he deserve it? He may have said something that pissed me off and that may be the reason I punched him,” he admitted.

Hayley gave him a pointed look, “may?”

“Definitely,” he chuckled. “He said something that pissed me off and that is definitely the reason I punched him,” he admitted.

Hayley shook her head, her expression a mixture of exasperation and amusement, “Elijah, you’re an idiot, sometimes. What am I going to do with you?”

He couldn’t help himself, even despite his dark mood, Hayley somehow always brought out his more playful, teasing side. “Kiss it better?” he quipped, and she chuckled amused, but shook her head and lifted his hand, bringing it to her lips and pressing a tender kiss to it.

“There. That better?”

“Much.”

Hayley sighed, “really, Elijah. I’m being serious now. What happened?”

“I just- he said he was here for medical reasons and that you treated him and I-” he started to say, but she cut him off.

“What exactly did he say?” she asked him, giving him a serious, no-bullshit look.

He sighed in defeat, he was not going to get out of this. “He said,” he paused and shuddered, closing his eyes, “it was all in her special touch, but you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Elijah?” he said, repeating Jackson’s words before opening his eyes to look at his girlfriend once again.

Hayley sighed, “Elijah, you have to know that wasn’t true. Firstly, because I would never let myself be put in that situation, and secondly because there’s that restraining order which forbids me from treating him,” she told him, pursing her lips.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping, “I know, I know. I just- he was taunting me yes, and I trust you, but I don’t trust _him_. I know you wouldn’t let yourself be put in that situation, but who’s to say he won’t make it like you don’t have a choice? And, the thought of him being anywhere near you, Hayley, it makes my blood boil,” he admitted, his voice trembling with emotion, and he shuddered again, and Hayley lifted her hand to cup his cheek. “The thought of him touching you, of him possibly- the thought of you getting hurt because of him makes me want to drop to my knees. I just can’t bear the thought. Yes, it was stupid, but I just- I’m sorry,” he sighed as he looked deeply into her eyes, “I couldn’t help it.”

Hayley’s expression softened, and she fondled his cheek gently, “I know,” she said softly, “I know. And, while I’m very flattered and touched by you being so protective, please don’t make it a habit of punching my ex,” she said, smirking a little teasingly, and he chuckled.

“I’ll try. It wouldn’t be good to break my other hand, too,” he quipped, and she rolled her eyes. He sighed heavily. Despite the playfulness and teasing, his words sank in for both of them, and he couldn’t help the knot of worry he felt.

Her expression became more serious, “hey,” she said softly bringing her other hand up to cup his cheek, rubbing it gently, “I’m okay, Elijah. I didn’t even see Jackson. God knows he could’ve been lying about needing to seek medical attention the whole time. He was just trying to get to you,” she told him, running her thumb along his cheek, and he relaxed slightly beneath her touch. He tilted his head and kissed the inside of her palm.

“I’m sorry-” he paused and shook his head, “you know, the only thing I regret is doing this in the middle of the hospital. I don’t regret punching him because he most certainly deserved it,” he told her, and she smiled.

“I don’t doubt that, baby,” she said softly. Then, she leaned closer and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, and he returned it briefly before she pulled away. “I love you,” she said softly.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, “I love you, too,” he said in a husky tone. He opened his mouth to bring up Katherine and why she was here, to tell Hayley about that morning, but then he decided against it, and closed it. She had enough on her plate, she didn’t need to deal with his grief and cravings and ex-wife being back, so he wasn’t going to tell her. But, Hayley did notice that he meant to say something and she glanced over at him.

“Everything okay? Were you going to say something?” she asked, worry obvious in her voice, and he sighed. He really didn’t need to add to her plate, she had enough to worry about, she didn’t need to worry about him, too.

So, he just shook his head, “it’s nothing, I’m fine. It’s no good going over this whole situation,” he told her, pretending that the Jackson thing was still on his mind. And, while the whole situation concerning Hayley’s ex-husband was constantly on his mind, it wasn’t today. But, Hayley didn’t need to know why. “I’m fine, I promise,” he reassured her and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

“Well,” she said, biting her lip reluctantly, “if you say so.” Hayley then looked like she was about to say something else, but was interrupted, unsurprisingly, by her pager. “Well, I’ve got an incoming,” she sighed.

“I’m going to go deal with some paper work. As much as I can with my dominant hand in a cast,” he shrugged and Hayley shot him a pointed look. “I’m only doing consults now, I’ve convinced Vincent to let me do at least that or otherwise I might lose my mind if I had to stay home for the next four weeks,” he added as the two of them pulled apart and headed towards the door when Hayley’s pager beeped again, though Elijah’s hand kept brushing against hers. He couldn’t seem to be to stop touching her, but she wasn’t complaining, and touching her had the benefit of grounding him so he would stop thinking as much as he tended to do. And, today, he really, really, needed to not be thinking as much. Because, every time he was left to his own thoughts they tended to revolve around Jonathan which made him want to curl in down and cry or drink himself to oblivion, or Katherine and what she had meant by ‘I’m here to stay’ which made him want to scream or drink. He hoped she wouldn’t be staying for long, whatever she had meant. He didn’t think he could bear having her around all the time. He and Hayley parted at the elevator, and exchanged a quick kiss.

“Love you,” he muttered casually against her skin as he pressed another kiss to her forehead, his uninjured hand cupping her cheek, his other arm resting on her lower back. She smiled, melting beneath his touch, and Elijah’s heart skipped a beat at the thought that he had such an effect on her.

When he pulled away, she smiled, then tilted her head and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, “love you, too,” she whispered softly. “Have a good day,” she added as her pager rang again. “Okay, now I really have to go,” she said breathlessly before taking off in the direction of the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator.

* * *

Hayley’s body was buzzing as she ran down the stairs after parting ways with Elijah. No, it felt almost like her whole body sang with excitement and overwhelming emotion. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, relief coursing through her that she had finally told him how she felt, that she had finally admitted something she had known for weeks, if not months.

The moment Katherine Petrova had introduced herself after arriving in the E.R. while blowing air through a ballpoint pen she had used in a makeshift cricothyrotomy, Hayley had lost all sense, and all she’d been able to focus on was her patient because if she even let herself think for just one second, the only thing her mind could concentrate on was the fact that Katherine was in New Orleans. And, all her insecurities had been brought back to the surface, the little voice that had been just a quiet nagging becoming louder, practically screaming _maybe he doesn’t love you_. So, when Elijah had stepped onto the rooftop, their place, everything had burst out of her. All her insecurities that maybe he didn’t love her after all, but also her anger that he hadn’t said it yet, and her fear that he didn’t feel it. But, none of that mattered now because not only did Elijah feel it, but he had told her as much. No, not just said it. It felt almost like he had imprinted the words on her skin. Not that Hayley would ever forget the feeling of pure relief that coursed through her when Elijah had finally said those three little words. And, all her insecurities had gone out the window when Elijah had finally admitted why he hadn’t told her until then, until she had confronted him with it and pretty much forced it out of him. _But, if she couldn’t be honest with him, and if he couldn’t open up to her then what were they doing?_

Despite her relief and euphoric bliss, her heart clenched when she’d realized that Elijah was holding something back. And, when Elijah had finally revealed the reason he hadn’t told her, the fact that he didn’t think he was good enough for her, no, more than that, that he didn’t think he deserved her, her heart broke. She’d noticed it before, but she had never quite realized how deep it went, how much it affected him, how much pain it caused him. And, the look on Elijah’s face when he admitted it to her was absolutely gut wrenching, and Hayley could feel herself shaking even now despite the pure euphoria she felt because he _did_ love her. He loved her and she loved him, and as cheesy as it sounded, even in her head, that was the only thing that mattered. Hayley couldn’t help but smile as she reached the landing and headed for the E.R., her body still buzzing, pulsing with electricity and an all-consuming euphoria. Because Elijah Mikaelson loved her. Hayley just hoped he would work through his issues himself, not that there was anything wrong with needing help with that. And, she hoped she was enough for him, enough to make him believe what was glaringly obvious to her. She shook her head. Elijah certainly deserved to be happy, and she was willing to remind him of it every day if need be.

With a sigh, she shook her head and walked past the nurses’ desk, past Agnes’ glares, grabbed herself a yellow trauma gown and headed outside.

“Hey,” she said a little breathlessly when she spotted Elena in the ambulance bay.

“Well, that took a while,” Elena said by way of greeting as she came over to tie Hayley’s gown. “You know, someone could’ve been dying,” the Chief Resident said pointedly.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “the ambulance isn’t even here, Elena,” she said matter-of-factly. “Clearly, no one’s dying. Yet,” she quipped drily. Elena just frowned. “Besides, I was busy.”

Elena smirked, “busy doing what? Elijah Mikaelson in the on-call room?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Hayley’s eyes widened, “Elena!” she exclaimed, staring at the other resident incredulously.

Elena just rolled her eyes, “oh, come on, Hayley. Everyone knows you’re together after Elijah kissed you in the middle of the hospital,” Elena said casually. Then, something seemed to occur to her, “wait. You two _are_ having sex, right?”

Hayley just groaned. _How did I end up having this conversation with Elena Gilbert of all people?_ “Not that it’s any of your business, Elena, but yes we are having sex. We’re just not shouting it from the rooftops. And, for your information, I was with Elijah earlier. But, not having sex. Which, again, is none of your business,” she said drily.

“Oh, I knew you were with Elijah,” Elena remarked. At the look Hayley gave her, she explained, “you had that stupid shit-eating grin on your face when you came in. You only get like that because of Elijah,” she said, smirking triumphantly.

Hayley just smiled knowingly.

“Oh, come on, don’t hold out on me! What did he do?” Elena pouted, and Hayley chuckled.

“He told me he loves me,” she said, her lips curving into a smile.

Elena just shook her head, amused, “you’re so done,” she said, chuckling. Hayley opened her mouth to say something else, but was stopped by the sound of the ambulance roaring in and coming to a skidding stop, the doors opening to reveal Davina. Her and Elena grabbed the gurney and went to meet her.

“Hey, Davina,” she said by way of greeting. “What have we got?”

“Thirteen-year-old Liv Mitchell, victim of a convenience store shooting. Wrong place, wrong time. Multiple GSWs to the abdomen, no exit wounds, we’ve been trying to stop the bleeding. Alert and responsive on scene, lost consciousness en route,” she reported as they transferred the patient onto the gurney and began rolling her inside.

“Okay, let’s take her to trauma 2,” she said and they rolled her in. “And, one, two, three!” she yelled and they moved her. “Okay, let’s hook her up to monitors,” she said as she and Elena both jumped in to pull off the gauze covering the young girl’s middle.

“I need a wide-bore IV,” Elena ordered.

“And, some lap pads,” Hayley said. “Okay, we need to act fast, stop the bleeding,” she said and Elena nodded. “Somebody page Dr. Laughlin and Klaus Mikaelson!” she added. “Okay, push fluids!” she ordered.

“Hayley, Jo is in surgery, so is Klaus. That’s why I paged you,” she said.

Hayley’s eyes widened, “seriously? What about Marcel?”

“Surgery. Have you even looked at the O.R. board?” Elena replied. “Just about every attending is in surgery.”

“No, sorry,” she muttered, shaking her head. Elena gave her a look. “Shut up,” Hayley muttered, not even giving the Chief Resident a chance to comment. She went to do the neuro exam. “Liv? Liv?” she yelled and finally the girl blinked rapidly and opened her eyes, and squinted.

“Ow,” she groaned, her face twisting in pain. “It hurts,” she cried, shifting around from the pain.

“I know. Liv, my name is Dr. Marshall from St. John’s hospital. You were shot, but we’re going to fix you, okay?” she said and reached to squeeze the girl’s hand. The girl nodded. “Can you please wiggle your toes for me?” Liv did. “Okay, good. And, squeeze my hand?” Liv squeezed her hand. “Very good,” she said. “Neuro exam is clear,” she said, going back to Elena. “Okay, we need to remove this. Got the lap pads?”

Elena nodded, before leaning over Liv. “Liv, we just need to take a look at the wound, okay? Then, we’ll take you to the O.R.,” Elena said softly. “It’s going to be okay. Is there somebody we can call for you?” she asked the patient as Hayley cut the material of Liv’s shirt and blood began gushing out.

“Lap pads! Elena, get over here!” she yelled as she fumbled to stop the bleeding. A nurse threw her lap pads and Hayley piled them onto the wounds, pressing them tightly.

Elena jumped in to help her, “okay, let’s go! We’ve got no time to waste, we need to get her to an O.R. right now! She’s losing a lot of blood! Hang more units!” she yelled.

“O.R. 4 is free,” Gia informed them.

“Okay, let’s go,” Hayley yelled and the doors to the trauma room opened and they began rolling the gurney out, Hayley pressing the lap pads to the wound, to stop the bleeding.

* * *

Thankfully, they managed to pull out the bullets and stopped the bleeding and the surgery was a success, so they were just closing. Now, that the stressful part was over, the silence had gotten a little uncomfortable.

"So, I hear your sister is in town,” Hayley finally said for lack of anything else to say. It was as good of a topic for conversation as any.

Elena looked up at her, "doesn't surprise me. She didn't make it here last year, but she did the year before,” she said as she continued to suture. Hayley furrowed her eyebrows for a second, about to ask what she meant when something occurred to her, and she froze.

“Oh my Gods,” she gasped.

“Hayley?” Elena looked up.

“It- it’s the anniversary,” she finally said, her eyes filling with tears. “Oh my God,” she repeated, still horrified.

“Wait…” Elena paused and stared at her. “You didn’t know?”

“I-” she cut herself off, her throat closing up.

“He didn’t tell you.” This time, it wasn’t a question. Hayley sniffled, and the atmosphere in the O.R. became tense.

Her hands shook as she tried to finish suturing, and she shook her head. “Oh my God,” she muttered. “How could I not know? Wh- what kind of girlfriend- what kind of person am I?” she all but sobbed.

“It’s not your fault,” Elena said kindly. 

“I just-” she cut herself off and sniffled again.

“I just finished. Let me tag you out,” Elena said, stepping away from the table.

“No, no, I’m fine, honestly…” she sniffled again. “I can do this,” she said, but her voice was shaky.

Elena was next to her now, her hands positioned to take the instruments from her. “Hayley,” she said gently, but firmly, “go be with him.”

She was right. Hayley sighed, and let the Chief Resident take the instruments from her. Then, she stepped away from the table and pulled off her surgical gown, gloves and mask.

“Thank you,” she muttered before reentering the scrub room to scrub out. After quickly scrubbing out, she took off her surgical cap, grabbed her lab coat from where it had been thrown carelessly in their rush and took off down the hallway to Elijah’s office, wiping her eyes. She couldn’t be crying now, not when Elijah needed her.

For once, the elevators was there and she got on, her eyes trained on the numbers as they signaled the floors changing, her heart hammering in her chest. It only took a minute or two, but it felt like forever before the elevator finally stopped on the ortho floor and the doors opened. Hayley got off, and rushed in the direction of Elijah’s office, not even bothering to pretend like she wasn’t running. The door to Elijah’s office was closed, but thankfully not locked, and she pressed down the doorknob before pushing it open, and stepped inside, part of her almost scared of what she’d find.

She found Elijah sitting on the couch in his office, his lab coat thrown onto it carelessly, his head bowed, face resting in his hands. Her shoulders dropped as she let out a heavy sigh.

“Elijah,” she whispered, stepping closer, taking off her own lab coat and putting it over the arm of the couch. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered, and finally he looked up. His eyes glassy with unshed tears and his lips trembled. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she wondered as she sat down on the couch.

Elijah hung his head and took a deep, ragged breath, “I just- I didn’t want to add to your stress,” he admitted, her chest clenched. “With everything going on, I just thought it was best…” he trailed off as she scooted closer to him.

“No, baby, no… there’s never- no amount of stress will ever keep me from being here for you. I am here for you, Elijah,” she said softly and reached for his hands, taking them gently into her own and bringing them up to her lips to kiss his knuckles. “I am here for you,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elijah’s voice hitched in his throat, and he took another shaky, gasping breath, “I just- I miss him so much,” he admitted shakily and a tear spilled onto his cheek. She couldn’t take it anymore, and she let go of his hands, and moved closer to him before taking him into her arms.

“Shh, I’m here,” she said softly as Elijah wrapped his own arms around her, clinging to her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I’m here,” she muttered before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m here,” she repeated as Elijah finally broke down, and let out a sob, his body shaking, his breath coming out in short gasps as he continued to hold onto her.

Eventually, after a while, his sobs calmed down and he sniffled as he pulled away, reaching to wipe his face.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice still emotional.

She shook her head, and turned so her body was angled towards his. “No, Elijah, baby, don’t apologize. Don’t you dare apologize for this,” she said softly as she reached to cup both his cheeks, rubbing them gently, his stubble scratching her palm slightly. “I told you, I’m here for you, and I meant it.”

“I know,” he sniffled, “I just…” he trailed off.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have shifted my schedule around and gone with you this morning,” she said, not even questioning whether he’d been to visit Jonathan.

“I just- I didn’t want to add to your stress, and I- I’m fine, Hayley,” he said.

“You saw Katherine at the cemetery this morning, didn’t you?” she asked, though they both knew the answer. Still, Elijah nodded. “Oh, Elijah…” she sighed. “I’m sorry for how I reacted this morning,” she said, referring to her yelling at him on the rooftop.

“No, don’t,” he shook his head and rested his uninjured hand on top of hers. “Don’t apologize. It was just- I should have told you, I just didn’t want to stress you,” he sighed.

She shook her head, “it doesn’t matter. I’m here now. I’m here now,” she said softly, and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead, and Elijah immediately relaxed.

This time, he was the one who took her into his arms, pulling her close, pressing her body to his, “you’re here now,” he muttered. “Somehow, you’re still here,” he whispered, and brushed his lips against her forehead, pressing a tender kiss.

“I’m here,” she whispered. “I’m here now.”

* * *

Elijah didn’t trust himself to drive after work, so Hayley drove him in her car to his meeting that evening, then went and dropped her car off at his place and took a cab to the hospital to pick up his car before coming to pick him up. He let her drive home, too, and they were both silent on the way, as Hayley focused on the road, though he could see her sneaking glances at him, while he stared out the window and tried to focus on the feel of Hayley’s hand in his, tried not to think about Jonathan, or Katherine, or the date, but it was damn near impossible to do that. Hayley parked in front of his place next to her own car, and the two of them got out. They grabbed their things, and she locked the car before the two of them went into the building and took the elevator to his place. He shut the door behind them, and sighed heavily before turning to help Hayley with her coat.

“You know I can do this on my own, right?” she said, as she pulled her arm out while he pulled the coat off clumsily. “Elijah, your hand-” she started to say, but he cut her off.

“I got this, Hayley, it’s fine,” he said, and she sighed. 

“Thanks,” she muttered softly, flashing him a small smile. He smiled back tensely as he hung their coats.

Silence settled between them, and even though it wasn’t usually like this, it felt tense as they put away their things. Elijah felt like all energy had left him, and it was all he could do not to collapse in tears in the middle of the living room, and even putting his bag away felt like a chore. He couldn’t even bear to look at the photographs around the living room, couldn’t even bear to see the reminders. All day he had tried, and mostly succeeded in not thinking about what date it was, about Jonathan, or Katherine, except for that morning and when Hayley had walked into his office that afternoon. Because, of course, with Hayley he couldn’t pretend, or keep his feelings in. With Hayley he could let his guard down and break, and she wouldn’t run for the hills, which still surprised him sometimes. She got him, she understood him better than anyone, almost like she had a sixth sense for it.

“Hey,” she said softly, and he glanced over at her. “You okay?” she asked softly, even though she probably knew he wasn’t. He shook his head. “Why don’t you- why don’t you go get changed and I’ll cook dinner?” she suggested gently.

“I’m fine, Hayley,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t- you don’t need to babysit me, I’m not a child,” he added coldly. A look of hurt flashed in her eyes, and he kicked himself, instantly feeling guilty. He knew he was being unfair on her when she had been so understanding, so kind, so open to him, after she’d forgiven him for the pain he caused her by not telling her how he felt when his insecurities had gotten the best of him. He truly didn’t deserve her, she was too good for him. And, old habits of pushing people away and keeping things in didn’t break easily. “Forgive me, love, that was harsh,” he said, the term of endearment slipping out of his mouth. He kind of liked it. She called him ‘baby’ and he needed something to call her, too. And, ‘love’ kind of just fit. It was different to Niklaus’ habit of calling everyone ‘love’ as a result of living in England for six years. He wasn’t calling just anyone that, just Hayley, the love of his life.

Her lips curved into a small smile, “you’re forgiven,” she said softly as their gazes met. “And, I know I don’t have to take care of you, but I want to. You’re hurting, Elijah, we both know that today is one of the hardest days of the year, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it,” she said, her voice laced with emotion. It had never occurred to him that she felt helpless because of this, because of his pain. It was a strangely touching thought. “So, please let me cook for you and hold you because that’s all I can do,” she said in a pleading tone, emotion obvious in her hazel eyes. “I know you don’t let people take care of you, but please let me take care of you tonight,” she added softly. “Please.”

His shoulders slumped and his expression softened, “okay,” he said softly. Then, he cupped her cheek with his uninjured hand and kissed her forehead gently, his lips barely brushing against her skin. “Love you,” he muttered softly. And then, he turned and went up to their bedroom, leaving the door open in case she wanted to change, too. He took off his clothes, letting them fall on the floor carelessly before he went into the bathroom, turning shower on and taking off his splint and brace. His hand still ached, so he was careful not to do anything with it as he got into the shower and let the hot water rain down on him, cascading down his shoulders. And, finally he relinquished the control he’d held over his emotions the whole day and let the tears fall down his face, mixing with the droplets of water, and let out a heart wrenching sob. Images flashed in his mind as the water continued to rain down on him.

_“Daddy! You my hewo!”_ Jonathan squealed as Elijah picked him up when he got home from work, burying his face in his dark brown curls and peppering him with kisses.

_“Hold onto him, Elijah. Don’t let him go.”_ Katherine’s voice rang in his ear and he let out another sob.

“F- forgive me… forgive me for letting go,” he sobbed, his breath hitching in his throat as water continued to pour over him. Now, it wasn’t so much flashes that were flooding his mind, but

_Elijah groaned as he blinked his eyes open, squeezing them shut briefly, then opening once more. The sun was shining brightly, and he winced, his head pounding, not at all helped by the incessant ringing of his phone. Who the fuck was calling him at this hour? Slowly, he sat up, and swung his legs, kicking away the empty bottles that littered the floor of his apartment._

_“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath as he bent down and fumbled for his phone which had apparently fallen on the floor. He noticed it was five o’clock. Wow, had he really slept all day after getting blackout drunk? It was the hospital calling and he swiped to answer. “H- hello?” he asked groggily, and rubbed his eyes, blinking again._

_“Dr. Mikaelson?” a female voice asked on the other end, sounding out of breath._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Dr. Mikaelson,” she said more gently and the voice sounded so familiar, and yet he couldn’t quite place, and his head hurt. He could hear yelling in the background and he wondered why he was being called._

_“Wh- who is this? What’s going on?” he asked, his voice raspy._

_“This is Nurse Lilian. I- Dr. Mikaelson you need to come to the hospital right away. There was an accident, and your wife Katherine and your son were involved… they’re critical you need to come,” she said, but Elijah had stopped listening, his mind latching onto three words. Katherine. Jonathan. Accident. They’re critical. And, as he glanced at his watch again as he stood up, stumbling slightly, he collapsed back onto the couch, realization dawning on him, hitting him like a ton of bricks. Jonathan. He was supposed to pick up Jonathan. And, he’d forgotten. And, now Jonathan was hurt. Critical, he reminded himself._

_“I- I’m on my way,” he managed to say, his voice hoarse before he hung up and grabbed his car keys, stumbling on his way out of the apartment, his mind spinning. If anything were to happen to Jonathan, if Jonathan didn’t make it, it would be his fault._

Elijah let out another pained sob and felt his legs almost give out from under him, so reached to brace himself against the shower wall, but he reached with his broken hand and hissed as pain shot up his hand and arm. “Fuck,” he muttered as he switched hands and steadied himself. It was his fault. Jonathan had died because of him, because he’d been too drunk to remember he was supposed to pick him up. It was all his fault.

He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his sobs, but it only caused him to sob harder, his body practically shaking as he cried. Finally, he managed to get control over himself and his sobs subsided, and he sniffled and wiped his eyes and face with his uninjured hand. He finished washing himself and finally got out of the shower, and it occurred to him that he’d probably been there for a while as he clumsily wrapped a towel around himself and exited the bathroom. After putting on his brace again, he finished toweling off, and noticed there were already sweatpants and a t-shirt on the bed, and his chest was flooded with warmth at Hayley’s gesture. As hard as it was to let someone, even if that person was his girlfriend, take care of him, it was strangely nice and sweet. But, it occurred to him that to leave those clothes she would have had to enter the bedroom. _Did she hear him cry in the shower?_ He hoped not, partly because he was slightly embarrassed, and partly because if she’d heard him, she would want to talk about it, and he really didn’t have the energy for it. But, he pushed those thoughts away and decided to change. Clumsily, he put on the clothes before putting the towel back on the rack in the bathroom and left the bedroom, going downstairs to the kitchen and leaving room area.

A soft aroma wafted through from the kitchen and Elijah couldn’t help but smile as he noticed Hayley flitting about the kitchen like she’d been doing it for years, completely at ease, wearing pajama shorts and one of his t-shirts. He was tempted to sneak up from behind her, but remembered how she’d jumped before and he couldn’t bear that reaction today, so instead he leaned against kitchen counter and continued to watch her until she finally glanced over at him.

“Hey,” she said softly, flashing him a small smile. He attempted to return it, but it was sad. With a sigh, he went over to her and wrapped his uninjured arm around her and bent his head to press a kiss to her temple, then her earlobe, causing her to shiver slightly, then her jaw, before peppering kisses along her neck, and she hummed softly. “Thank you for the clothes,” he whispered softly.

“Not too much?” she whispered, turning slightly towards him, and he was touched by her words.

“No,” he muttered, “just enough. Thank you.” He pressed another kiss to her neck. “Thank you for today.” Another kiss. “Thank you for not running.” He brushed his lips against earlobe again before pressing another kiss. She turned, so they were looking at each other properly and cupped his cheek tenderly, rubbing his jaw.

“Never, Elijah” she said softly, then leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Never, ,” she repeated. “I love you,” she added softly, rubbing his cheek gently with her thumb.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, though there was an edge of emotion to his voice. “Need any help?” he asked as she went back to stirring the pasta sauce.

“No, I’m good,” she said, not looking up.

“Hayley, I’m not an invalid, I can set a table,” he all but snapped, reaching to grab two plates and glasses and setting them on the table. Hayley said nothing, and he grabbed forks, knives and napkins, setting them on the table as well. By the time he was done, she’d finished the food and took the plates from the table to serve the pasta while he grabbed the grated cheese from the fridge. She set the two plates of food on the kitchen island and the two of them sat down, starting to eat in silence, the atmosphere suddenly tense.

“I wasn’t saying that, Elijah. I just- I remember how you were the last time you broke your hand. You’re the worst patient, you know that, right?” she rolled her eyes. “Which is funny because you’re an ortho surgeon, and I know how pissed you would be if any of your patients acted like this. So, what gives?” she said, and he sighed. She had a point.

“Well, you know, doctors make the worst patients,” he shrugged. Hayley just gave him a pointed look. “I just- I don’t like feeling useless and being taken care of. But, I’m sorry for saying that, that was harsh,” he said apologetically, flashing her a guilty look.

“It’s okay. I know you’re having a tough day,” she said softly, her expression full of understanding and he smiled gratefully. The rest of dinner passed in silence, Elijah simply not having the energy to talk, not even with Hayley. Or, maybe it was because it was Hayley, because with Hayley he would be more open with his emotions and even that felt draining. When they finished eating, they cleared the table together and Hayley moved to load the dishwasher, but stopped when she noticed him about to leave. “Elijah?”

“Yeah?”

She bit her lip nervously, “do you- do you want me to leave?” she finally asked and he blinked, shocked.

“What?”

“I just- if you wanted some space tonight, I can- I can leave I…” she trailed off. Usually, he found her rambling adorable, but this time he felt a pang of guilt. She was trying so hard to be there for him, but not be overbearing, to take care of him, but not be too much, and she had no idea that just her being there was more than enough.

“No, of course not,” he said, shaking his head. “I- I want you to stay, Hayley. I need you to stay. Please stay,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, and she nodded, flashing him a small smile. 

“Okay,” she said softly.

He nodded, “I, uh, I think I’ll just head to bed,” he said. He just wanted to collapse both from physical exhaustion and how draining the emotional toll had been.

“Okay, I’ll finish loading the dishwasher and join you,” she said softly and walked over to him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Love you.”

He smiled, “me too,” he said softly before turning around and going to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him, and grabbed the memory box from the closet before sitting on the bed, putting it in front of him, and opened it. And, his mind was immediately flooded by memories, taking him back in time. Tears formed in his eyes as he slowly flipped through the photographs. The close ups taken just when Jonathan was born that showed his feature in great detail. The photos of him holding his newborn son. The photos of him and Jonathan when he was a baby, then as he grew older, all the moments they shared that now didn’t seem like enough time. No amount the time would ever be enough, he knew that. Elijah didn’t even realize it, but as he reached the photograph of him and Jonathan asleep, tears were streaming down his face, and he let out a sob. He continued to flip through, running his fingers over his son’s features while crying. He’d just finished flipping through the photographs and was holding the baby blanket and dinosaur in his hands when he felt arms around him, and he relaxed when he realized it was Hayley.

“Oh, Elijah,” she muttered sadly as she took his hands and lifted them to kiss his knuckles. He didn’t even stop her when she gently pried the objects from his hands, putting them into the box before taking the box and putting it in the closet.

“I just- I miss him so much…” he blubbered and reached to wipe his tears, but more fell down his face as if the floodgates had been opened and there was no way of closing them. He felt Hayley’s hands on his shoulders, gentle and comforting, slowly pushing him back so he was lying down as if he was a child, and she pulled the duvet over him, too. This time he didn’t say anything, didn’t argue, and just let her put him to bed. And then, she crawled into bed next to him, and instinctively, he reached for her, pulling her close. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and more tears spilled onto his cheeks. “It was my fault, it my own fault… and, now… I’m not a father anymore and it’s my fault,” he sobbed, his sobs muffled by her skin, and he felt Hayley cup the back of his neck, curling her whole body around his.

“I’m here,” she whispered, “I’m here.” She repeated those words several times as she caressed the back of his neck gently while he cried himself to sleep.


	32. I Can Only Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah's not ready to talk about what he admitted to Hayley the night before and tries to pretend like everything is normal. Meanwhile, Hayley's trying to figure out what to do and how to be there for him. When Klaus comes back to work, he has a favor to ask Elijah which has surprising revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter... another angst fest, but that's my specialty! Enjoy!  
> xx

Elijah awoke with a start the next morning, and let out a gasp before instinctively reaching for Hayley who was sleeping peacefully beside him. He reached to stroke her hair, but it was with his injured right hand which was in a cast, and he didn’t want to wake her up, so he decided against it. Instead, her lifted his uninjured hand to wipe the sweat and dried tears from his face, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He glanced over at the bedside digital clock. It was 0529. He sighed and wondered if trying to sleep would actually be successful.

“Mhm,” Hayley muttered as she stirred slightly. “Lijah,” she murmured, moving closer to him, reaching for him, and he shifted slightly to allow her to curl around him, her hand coming to rest on his chest, the other one resting on his shoulder, absently rubbing the back of his neck. She nuzzled his cheek with her nose, her dark hair spilling over his chest, and he tilted his head to press a tender kiss to her forehead. Her eyes were still closed as she rested her head on his shoulder, and she looked so peaceful, so perfect, and he still couldn’t quite believe that she was still here, in his bed, in his apartment, in his life. That she didn’t run even when he admitted the truth to her, the real reason why he hadn’t told her how he felt about her, how he had always felt about her. She’d seen him at his worst, had seen him break, and yet she was still here. And, he loved her for it.

“I love you,” he muttered against her skin, and a smile tugged at her lips as she pressed closer to him. 

“Mmm… love you, too,” she sighed sleepily and he chuckled before glancing over at the clock again. It was now 0549 and he had apparently spent the past twenty minutes watching his beautiful girlfriend sleep, but he didn’t regret a second of it. He’d come to appreciate these quiet, peaceful moments of them just being them in the past few weeks full of drama and insanity. But, he should be letting her sleep because it was almost 0600 and they didn’t have to be at work for another three hours. He still felt restless, his mind still plagued by memories, and he craved a drink or to punch something, but considering his hand, he couldn’t do that. With a sigh, he shifted slightly, away from Hayley, though careful not to disturb her sleep, and got out of bed. And, Hayley rolled over, moving closer to his side, and moved around, as if searching for him, and his chest filled with warmth at that. “Lijah?” she asked, her eyelashes fluttering.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I’m just going out for a run, I can’t sleep anymore,” he told her as he rummaged clumsily through the drawer, trying to grab a pair of running shorts and tank top, and he grunted at the throbbing ache in his hand.

“Are you sure you should be doing that?” Hayley asked as she sat up, rubbing at her eyes. “Your hand-” she started to argue, but cut her off.

“Is fine. I’m not running with it, am I?” he quipped and she snorted. “I’m just going for a run, love, I need to… I need to do something. I promise I won’t punch anyone or anything,” he told her and she flashed him a look. He reached for his running shorts, but immediately hissed as pain shot up his hand an arm. “Fuck,” he muttered, gritting his teeth. Of course, he’d reached with his dominant hand.

“You’re an idiot,” Hayley quipped teasingly, shaking her head in amusement as she came over to him. She sighed, “why don’t you just come back to bed?” she asked him, reaching to rest her hand on his arm.

He sighed heavily and squeezed his eyes shut briefly before opening them and turning to look at her, “I can’t sleep, Hayley,” he said, an edge of emotion in his voice. “I need to… I wish I could go take it out on a punching bag, but I can’t. So, I’m gonna go for a run instead,” he told her.

Her expression softened, and she sighed, her shoulders slumping, “let me help you then before you do something to your hand that will make it take longer to heal and give you chronic pain in a few years,” she said, giving him a serious look. He sighed heavily. She was right, as much as he didn’t like being taken care of, he wasn’t helping himself right now, so he stepped away reluctantly and let Hayley go through the drawer. She pulled out a pair of running shorts and tank top and handed them to him. She smiled, “here you go.”

“Thanks,” he said, taking the clothes from her. Then, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before going to the bathroom. After relieving himself, washing his face and brushing his teeth, he pulled on his running clothes clumsily before exiting the bathroom. Hayley was already in bed, and he smiled fondly before going to grab his phone and earphones and putting on his running shoes, clumsily doing the shoelaces. As he walked by the bed on his way out, he bent down and pressed a quick kiss against her forehead, “I’ll be back soon, love. Try to get some sleep,” he whispered softly before leaving.

* * *

Running with one hand in a brace wasn’t as easy as he’d initially thought, and his balance ended up being a bit off. But, he managed to run about three miles before he finally called it a day, his body drenched in sweat, muscles aching, panting heavily, and he dragged himself upstairs to his apartment. He kicked off his running shoes, and went to the kitchen to drink water before going to the bedroom. Hayley was still asleep, and he pressed a quick kiss to her hair before going to grab a fresh set of clothes, and hoped his clumsiness wouldn’t wake her. But, he stopped when he noticed a fresh set of clothes was already waiting for him on top of the dresser, and he smiled fondly. As much as he didn’t like being taken care of, and as much as he didn’t think he needed a woman to take care of him, he had to admit it was nice that she had done this. Every little gesture of hers whether it was taking care of him, or just being there for him, just showing him she cared made him fall in love with her a little more each time.

He grabbed the clothes, and made his way to the bathroom where he relieved himself and took off his sweaty, running clothes and hand brace before getting into the shower, the cold water raining down on him before he switched it to hot water, letting it pour down on him, seeping into his tensed muscles, loosening them slightly. After clumsily washing himself, he got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. First, he dried his injured hand carefully before putting on the brace again, then he toweled himself off. He considered shaving, or at least trimming his scruff, but there was the possibility of cutting himself, so he decided against it. So, he just put on the clothes Hayley left for him and got out of the bathroom. Hayley was still asleep, so he decided to make breakfast and went to the kitchen. He decided on making a simple omelet, so he pulled out all the ingredients from the fridge before grabbing the pan from the cupboard with his uninjured hand. He managed to get through washing the tomatoes and mushrooms, and awkwardly cut the ham into pretty large pieces, but at least he managed to not cut his hand, so there was that. He’d just turned the stove on and poured oil into the pan and was currently trying to whisk the eggs with his non-dominant hand while holding the bowl with his injured one, and despite it being a little awkward, he was mostly managing it. Mostly. The oil had started sizzling, so he quickly threw some of the cheese in and whisked that too before reaching to turn down the stove a little without looking. And, pulled back immediately, hissing in pain as his hand touched the hot handle of the pan. Just his luck, he managed to burn his hand.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath as his skin became an angry red.

“You know,” Hayley drawled from where she was leaning against the kitchen island, “you have a perfectly capable girlfriend to cook for you.”

He glanced over at her, “yes, but I do consider myself to be a feminist. And, it would be against my beliefs to have you cook and clean for me,” he quipped, chuckling slightly in amusement.

“I think I’d be doing everyone a service by cooking for you,” she retorted, though her eyes were shining with amusement, and she let out a giggle. He just rolled his eyes as he held his previously uninjured hand with his injured one, and she shook her head, and giggled, before coming over to him. She turned down the stove quickly before anything burned, then turned on the tap and grabbed his hand, shoving it underneath the cold water.

“Okay, baby, just keep your hand under the cold water while I rescue our breakfast,” she said, an amused smile tugging at the corner of her lips. He could hardly blame her for finding the whole situation amusing. Even he had to admit, he was being ridiculous. While he held his hand under the cold water, Hayley quickly poured the eggs into pan before tossing the tomatoes, mushrooms, ham and cheese in and added salt and pepper, then turned the heat really low and put the lid on top of the pan. “Okay, let me see your hand,” she said, coming over to stand in front of him. He turned the tap off, but didn’t show her the hand.

“I’m fine, Hayley, you should go get ready for work,” he told her.

His girlfriend rolled her eyes and groaned, “oh, you stubborn, ridiculous man!” she exclaimed with an exasperated sigh before reaching for his arm. He hissed, and flinched as she accidently touched the burned part of his skin, and she immediately pulled away. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, instantly apologetic, and hesitantly reached for his arm. With a sigh, he moved it closer to her and she took it in her hands, gently running her fingers over the burn, and he hissed slightly. “Sorry, baby,” she whispered apologetically.

“So, Dr. Marshall,” he drawled, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he watched her examine the burn, a look of pure concentration on her face that he found kind of adorable, “am I going to live?” Hayley didn’t say anything, just continued to examine the burn, her eyebrows were knitted together, and her lower lip was jutted out slightly into an adorable pout.

“I’ll say,” she quipped, glancing up at him, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Your prognosis looks good,” she added teasingly, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s only a first-degree burn. Let me just get the ointment and wrap it,” she said softly.

“Thanks,” he smiled at her and leaned against the counter, glancing over at the pan. It was still cooking on low heat, and was probably going to be done soon. Hayley returned shortly, holding a tube of burn cream in one hand and a roll of gauze in the other, and she took his arm in hers.

She smiled as she began applying the cream, and at first he tensed, but he soon relaxed as the cooling effect of the cream began taking effect. “You really are impossible, Elijah Mikaelson,” Hayley mused as she continued to apply the cream.

He peered over at her, and his breath hitched in his throat as their proximity became obvious. She was mere inches from him, and he could practically feel her breath in his face, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, but he knew better than to interrupt her. “And, yet you love me,” he quipped.

Another smile tugged at the corners of her lips, “that I do,” she said softly. “But, you are a terrible patient, you know that?”

“Well, then, it’s a good thing you’re not my doctor, right?” he retorted, and chuckled.

Hayley snorted before closing the tube and grabbing the gauze, starting to wrap it around his arm slowly. “Then, what do you call this?”

“Well…” he paused before breaking off into a chuckle, “I can’t exactly do it myself, can I?”

She raised an eyebrow, “oh, I wouldn’t put it past your stubbornness and inability to ask for help,” she mused, glancing up at him.

He sighed, “you’re right,” he conceded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. There has to be at least one benefit to your girlfriend having a medical degree,” she added teasingly as she tied the bandage and ripped the extra part off.

He snorted, “well, I do believe there are a number of benefits,” he remarked, smirking slightly and she giggled before lifting her hands to rest them on his shoulders.

“Such as?”

“Well, there is the fact that she’s a talented surgeon at the same hospital I happen to work at. And, sometimes I get to witness that brilliance,” he said, earning himself a giggle from Hayley.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, mister,” she quipped, her hands drifting to rest against the back of his neck as he rested his broken hand on her waist.

“Really?”

“Mhm,” she smirked before leaning up and rubbing her nose against his and pressing a soft kiss against his lips that he returned eagerly, his tongue tangling with his, lips molding together. But, Hayley pulled away quickly, causing him to frown slightly, but she was already reaching over to the stove and turning it off. “You don’t want to burn your place down, do you?”

He just shook his head, laughing, “you’re something else, Hayley Marshall,” he remarked as he went to grab two plates and two sets of cutlery while Hayley finished their omelet. He handed her the plates before going to put the cutlery, then grabbed two mugs and turned on the espresso machine to make their coffee. He’d just set the two mugs on the table when Hayley brought the omelet, but before either of them could sit down, he stopped her, gripping her arm gently. “Hey,” he said softly, “I meant it. You really are something else, Hayley. You’re like a breath of fresh air. I was drowning and you saved me. And, I love you,” he confessed, an edge of emotion in his voice.

Surprise flitted across her expression before being replaced by warmth, and her lips curled into a slow, gentle smile, “I love you, too,” she said softly before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Now, let’s eat.”

They sat down to eat, and breakfast passed mostly in silence, and Elijah could sense a slight tension in the air, and he wondered if something was going on, if something was bothering her.

But, Hayley beat him to it, “so, are we going to talk about last night?”

He froze, and nearly choked on his coffee as he glanced up at her. She was being serious. “What about last night?” he asked, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about, but deep down he knew.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “oh, come on, Elijah. Are you really going to pretend last night didn’t happen?” she remarked, a hint of irritation in her tone.

“Depends. Do I want to talk about how much yesterday drove home that he’s gone and it’s been three years without him? Not particularly. I miss him. I miss him every day, and sometimes that feels like a dull throb, and other times it feels like I’m drowning and I can’t breathe,” he admitted, and Hayley sighed, her shoulders slumping. “And, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what day it was. I was trying to make it easier,” he added apologetically.

“I know,” she said softly. “But, pushing me away doesn’t make things easier, Elijah. I love you. I want to be here for you. I’m trying to be here for you. But, you have to meet me halfway, you have to let me in,” she said, her voice laced with emotion, and she reached to rub his arm gently.

He smiled, “okay.” Then, he added, “listen, I am so sorry for hurting you by not telling you how I felt… how I’ve always felt. I just- I truly didn’t think I deserve you. I still don’t think so. I’m still trying to figure out how you haven’t run yet,” he admitted, glancing down, unable to meet her gaze.

Hayley scoffed, “not a chance in hell,” she muttered, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I love you, Hayley. And, somehow, you think I’m worthy of your love. Somehow, you love me. I truly cannot comprehend it, but I am so grateful for it. And, I promise I will do everything in my power to be worthy of you and your love,” he continued, reaching for her hand with his uninjured one and laced their fingers together, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles gently.

“I love you, too. But, that’s not really what I meant. I meant,” she paused and bit her lip, which he found adorable, before continuing, “I was mostly referring to what you said last night. That it was your fault,” she finally said, and he stiffened, pulling away from her. Hayley drew her hand back, and glanced over at him. Well, of course she had heard that, but that didn’t mean he liked it. And, he certainly did not want to talk about it. He shut his eyes briefly and shook his head.

“I-” he cut himself off and swallowed back tears, “please don’t. I don’t- I can’t talk about that. I can’t. I’m sorry. So, please,” he said in an imploring tone, “please drop it.” He looked up at her through blurry eyes and they locked gazes, dark brown eyes boring into hazel ones. “Please,” he added, an almost desperate edge to his tone.

Hayley’s expression softened, “okay,” she sighed before putting another forkful of omelet into her mouth.

Silence settled between them, not exactly awkward, though not entirely comfortable. Elijah cleared his throat, “so, Niklaus plans to propose to Cami,” he finally said for lack of anything else to say.

Hayley raised an incredulous eyebrow, “really, Elijah? We’re talking about Klaus and Cami to avoid talking about last night?” she remarked drily.

He sighed, “Hayley, please,” he said softly, all but begging her, “I am asking you to understand that I just… _can’t_. I can’t talk about it. Okay?” With a sigh, she finally nodded.

“So, did they actually talk about it?” she asked, referring to when she’d told Cami to talk to his brother about how much she wanted to be a Mikaelson in name. Though, Elijah was sure it didn’t really have anything to do with being a Mikaelson, but simply being married to Niklaus. Which, according to his girlfriend, was something Cami wanted a lot more than she would care to admit.

He shook his head, “I don’t believe they did. I think Niklaus came up with the idea on his own because he asked me and Marcellus to accompany him in choosing a ring.”

Hayley scoffed, “came up with the idea on his own? Doesn’t sound like Klaus. But, then, this is Cami,” she shrugged. “Who knows? Though it does make sense he asked you since you’re like the only one who’s actually proposed and got married,” she added, and he stiffened slightly.

“And, where did that get me?” he muttered drily, rolling his eyes. Hayley licked her lips and took a sip of her coffee.

“Right. Well, if either of you boys want to know what kind of ring she’d like, I do happen to be her best friend,” she said, smirking slightly.

Elijah’s eyes widened at that. How could he have forgotten? He had just told his girlfriend, who just happened to be best friends with Cami, that his brother planned to propose to her. “Hayley,” he said slowly, “this goes without saying, but please don’t tell Camille.”

“Of course not,” she said quickly. At his slightly skeptical look, she added, “I promise I won’t. I can keep a secret,” she said, grinning.

“Why do I now regret telling you?” he quipped, amused.

“Oh, come on! I can keep a secret, Elijah, I promise!” she exclaimed, and he laughed, shaking his head. She joined in the laughter, and both of them laughed for a few minutes before finally calming down.

“You know, out of everyone, Cami and Klaus aren’t the ones I expected to get married first,” she said after a while.

“Oh?”

“I always thought Rebekah and Marcel would have tied the knot already. Considering the fact that Rebekah is a hopeless romantic and all,” she said with a shrug.

“Hm, you are right. However, Rebekah and Marcellus have the tendency to be on and off. This might be the longest time they’ve actually been together, if I remember correctly. I know they both want it, but they never actually got there,” he told her.

“Hmm. That’s true. But, they’re it for each other. That much is obvious. At some point, they have to take the big step. I mean, if they weren’t the wedding type, it’d be one thing. But, they, or Rebekah, at least, is the wedding, marriage type,” she remarked.

“Well, dreaming of your big day and being the marriage type are two very different. But, I do think they’ll eventually tie the knot. Oh, they’ll break up a few more times, but they do love each other,” he replied. “Honestly, I think this is as much my mother’s doing as their own reluctance. My mother has decided to get on Rebekah’s case with the whole grandchildren, settling down idiocy,” he told her, and she nodded, remembering the awful first Mikaelson dinner she and Hope attended.

“And, that only serves to make them more apprehensive about tying the knot, right? Honestly, I don’t blame Rebekah, or Marcel even. Your parents aren’t the most tactful,” she flashed him a look, and they both knew what she meant.

“Neither do I,” he nodded. Then, he remembered something, and stood up quickly, causing Hayley to glance over at him.

“Where are you going?”

He shook his head, “I just remembered something I’ve been meaning to ask you, and I need to retrieve it from the bedroom,” he exclaimed.

“Oh God. You’re not planning to propose, are you?” she gasped, her gaze flickering to his.

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, “no,” he replied. Then, he realized how that sounded, and his expression softened, “I don’t- I don’t think… we both know we’re not there yet,” he admitted, glancing down self-consciously. It wasn’t that he didn’t want more, especially with Hayley, but he had to admit that after Katerina he didn’t quite believe in marriage anymore, and part of him was scared that if he and Hayley got married it would somehow change them and ruin what they had. Or, more specifically, that he would destroy what they had.

“Oh,” she frowned, slightly before pursing her lips and looking up at him. “Then what is it?”

He smiled, “patience, my dear, I will be right back,” he said softly before going up to the bedroom.

He returned minutes later with the keys he intended to give her, and sat down in front of her before holding out his uninjured hand and opening his fist to reveal the keys. Hayley gasped, and her eyes locked with his, and he could see the emotion clear in her beautiful hazel eyes.

“Elijah… wh- what does this mean? Are you asking me to move in with you?”

He shook his head and reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together, the keys pressed between their palms. “Not exactly,” he said. “I just- I want you to have your own keys to my place because, well, frankly because it makes sense,” he said, and she frowned, a hint of hurt in her eyes and he mentally kicked himself. “No, I didn’t mean it like that… it’s not only about logic. It’s also that… remember when you first came here?” She nodded. “I told you this place wasn’t really home for me, just a place to eat and sleep. Well, you changed that, Hayley. Having you here changed that. You made this place feel like home. Because you are my home and I love having you here. So, I want you to have the keys to it. You already own the keys to my heart, so I want you to have the keys to my place, too,” he finished, and felt himself flush. _Was that too much?_ For a moment neither of them said anything, their gazes locked, both of them staring deeply in each other’s eyes. Elijah wondered if he’d said too much, if he’d revealed his feelings too much, if that scared her. But then, Hayley’s eyes filled with tears and she opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it, overcome with emotion.

Finally she took a deep breath, then let it out, “oh, Elijah… thank you,” she breathed out. “This means a lot, thank you,” she said softly. “I love you.”

He smiled, relaxing, “I love you too,” he said as he rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. Hayley took the keys from his hand and set them on her side of the table before turning back to him. The rest of breakfast passed by with easy conversation and flirting, and Elijah loved how Hayley always brought out his playful side, how she undid him and made him loosen up. He loved how funny, and smart, and beautiful she was and he was never going to get tired of being with her. She was everything he never knew he needed, and he knew that he was too damaged, screwed up for her, that she was so much better and deserved so much better than him, and yet she somehow loved him and he loved her back and he couldn’t let her go anymore.

* * *

Eventually, they finished breakfast and Hayley washed the dishes while Elijah went to put on some clothes. They managed to grab their bags and everything, and somehow made it to the hospital before rounds. Although, at the moment, Hayley was kind of wishing she could have skipped rounds. Really, Hayley was wishing most of the things that had happened in the past twenty-four, forty-eight hours hadn’t happened.

With a sigh, she paid for her food before marching off to the table Cami was waiting at so she could join her friend for lunch.

“That bad?” Cami asked when Hayley all but slammed her tray on the table before falling into the chair across from the blonde.

“Where should I start, huh, Cami?” she quipped before taking a large bite of her bagel. “The part about Katherine showing up here yesterday? Or, the part about Katherine deciding to stay, and of all hospitals in this damn city, choosing this hospital? Or, how about the best part of my morning? Apparently, Katherine specialized in trauma which means she’s in the trauma department, and since she’s an attending, that makes her my boss. Which is just wonderful. What part of my day would you like to hear about first?” she finished, and let out an exasperated sigh before taking a sip of her coffee. Cami reached to pat her arm gently in an attempt to offer some comfort.

“You poor thing,” Cami cooed and Hayley snorted. Then, the blonde’s face grew more serious, “I’m sure that no matter how hard this is for you, it’s about ten times worse for Elijah,” she added.

Hayley sighed, “yeah… you’re right. I- I probably sound like an attention-seeking bitch. But, I just- I _really_ hate her. Because now she’s here and he’s all wound up tight and stressed. And, it doesn’t help that she came back on Jonathan’s death anniversary,” she sighed and took another bite of her bagel.

“Well, that is why she came, Hayley,” Cami pointed out and flashed her a look. “He was her son, too. And, she lost him, too. Look, I’m not taking her side, you know I care about Elijah, and I know he’s hurting still after everything that happened. But, I’m not gonna deny that Katherine had every right to be here yesterday. Especially, since she didn’t make it last year. And, she has every right to grieve him. As much as her presence brings up the bad blood between her and Elijah and makes things impossibly hard for him, she has the right to be here.”

Hayley pursed her lips and peered over at her friend, “I know. I just- you know, I didn’t even know what yesterday’s date meant. So, he had to deal with all of it on his own and I couldn’t be there for him. And, with Katherine and everything…” she trailed off and sighed before taking another sip of her coffee.

Cami seemed to sense that there was something else Hayley wanted to say and gave her a pointed look, “what is it?” Hayley hesitated, so Cami leaned forward, “oh, come on, Hales, I know you. There’s some else, isn’t there?”

Hayley sighed and took another sip of her coffee. “You are too good, Cami. I just- sometimes I feel really helpless with everything. Like I’m not enough to help him. Not enough for him,” she finally admitted.

“What? Hayley, no, honey, just no, that is so not true. You are enough for Elijah, you are more than enough and he would tell you that. The man is head over heels in love with you, he thinks you’re everything to him. Definitely more than enough. And, while I don’t think it’s healthy how much he depends on you for his sanity, I’m glad he’s got you. Because he does need someone. And, he would never see a psychiatrist about it, believe me, the idea has been brought up,” she shook her head and rolled her eyes in exasperation. “So, you’re kind of the next best thing. That might sound weird. You’re obviously more than that for him, but you are also the one person he opens up to about anything and everything. Like, he might be a little more open with his siblings now, but you’re still the one he’s most open with. So, believe me, when I say it, you help him. And, you are enough. More than enough, actually,” she told her, her voice firm but gentle. Hayley flashed her a tight smile.

“Thanks,” she muttered. “I guess with Katherine back I feel a little unnerved, a little…” she paused, searching for the right word, but Cami seemed to know the answer.

“Insecure?” she supplied, and Hayley nodded.

“Yeah. I guess I do feel a little insecure. Which is what had me going off on my boyfriend yesterday because Katherine being back suddenly made me realize that the fact that he hadn’t told me he loved me bothered me more than I cared to admit. I should have known it wasn’t about his feelings for Katherine, or Elijah not returning my feelings, but,” she paused again and took another sip, but Cami didn’t need Hayley to say it.

“But, about Elijah’s own issues,” she supplied, her lips curving into a small, understanding smile. Hayley just nodded. “Oh, Hayley, if you think that Elijah Mikaelson isn’t head over heels in love with you, I’ve got something else to tell you,” her friend said, shaking her head in amusement. “The man loves you, and believe me it is quite obvious. I think he’s been in love with you for a while, but was too nervous, too insecure to tell you before,” she paused and took a sip of her coffee while Hayley finished her bagel. “Hayley, he looks at you like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time,” she finally said and Hayley’s gaze flickered to Cami’s.

“Really?” Her voice sounded small.

“Really. Trust me, I know. Like I said, he was just too insecure to tell you before, but he’s felt it for a while now. And, the only person who somehow didn’t see that was you,” she said and let out a half-chuckle. “You guys are impossible like that, but I guess that’s what makes you perfect for each other amongst other things,” she added, smirking slightly. Hayley scoffed and rolled her eyes in response.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she sighed as she took another sip of her coffee.

“I know I am,” Cami grinned and Hayley laughed, shaking her head in amusement.

“Very modest of you Dr. O’Connell,” she quipped.

“Well, I am a doctor. They do say we have a God-complex,” Cami retorted, amused.

“Speaking of, I should probably go back to doing that. Being a doctor and all,” she chuckled and Cami did too. “I’m in the E.R. today, oh joy,” she added sarcastically and rolled her eyes. Cami just snorted.

“You can do it,” the blonde told her sweetly. “I believe in you.”

“Thanks, Cami,” Hayley said as she finished her coffee and stood up, grabbing the tray. Cami stood along with her, and the two of them threw the waste away before putting the trays back on the stack. “What are you up to?”

“Paperwork probably. My next client isn’t for another hour. Which I would normally spend with Klaus, but my boyfriend got himself suspended punching your soon-to-be ex-husband, so he is now at home doing God-knows-what,” Cami rolled her eyes as the two of them walked out of the cafeteria.

Hayley pursed her lips guiltily, “sorry about that,” she muttered. “But, at least your boyfriend didn’t _break_ something. This is the second time in the past six months Elijah has broken his dominant hand,” she sighed.

Cami laughed, “how did we, two intelligent, level-headed women end up falling for a pair of hotheads who like to solve problems by punching them?” she quipped, and Hayley chuckled.

“Well, I can pretty temperamental,” she flashed Cami a look, causing the blonde to giggle. “I know what you mean, though. It’s honestly kind of ridiculous,” she shook her head, laughing.

“But, not undeserved,” Cami said pointedly. “Yeah, it was probably really stupid of them to get into that fight in the middle of the hospital, but Jackson deserved it. I hear Elijah decked him pretty good,” she grinned and Hayley flashed her an unimpressed look. “But, yeah, unfortunately for those poor idiots, they also have to deal with the consequences. At least Elijah managed to convince Vincent to let him do consults,” she shrugged.

“Hmm, maybe Vincent should have given him a suspension, too. He wouldn’t have to deal with Katherine and him and Klaus could hang out,” she said and Cami chuckled.

“And, do what?”

Hayley opened her mouth, then promptly closed it when she realized what she almost said. Nope, she couldn’t tell Cami what the two brothers could be doing since she knew something Cami didn’t know, and couldn’t know yet. So instead she shrugged, “I don’t know? Bond?” Cami just shook her head, laughing. “Anyways, I should go,” she said.

“Elevator will be here soon,” Cami told her after pressing the button.

“No, you know what? I’m gonna take the stairs, yeah. Uh… I’ll see you later?” she said, though it sounded more like a question. But, she was worried that if they kept talking she might slip out about what Elijah told her that morning, and she couldn’t do that.

“Okay…” Cami furrowed her eyebrows in slight confusion, then shook her head. The two of them embraced and exchanged goodbyes before Hayley took off in the direction of the stairwell.

She opened the door that led to the stairwell, and froze at the two loud voices yelling from above, and recognized them immediately. She didn’t even need to look up to know who it was. Katherine and Elijah. They were whisper-yelling, obviously trying not to be too loud, but were clearly failing because their voices grew louder. Hayley knew it was a bad idea to eavesdrop, that it would probably piss Elijah off, that there was a pretty big chance of it not ending well, but she couldn’t help herself, so she stayed hidden, her body pressed against the wall, and listened.

“No, Elijah!” Katherine screamed, breaking all composure, and suddenly all other sounds ceased. “It was _your_ fault! It was all your fault!” she screamed, in near tears, and Hayley let out gasp before quickly putting her hand to her mouth, muffling it so Katherine and Elijah wouldn’t hear. Katherine took a shaky breath, “you were meant to be there for him, you were meant to take care of him, and you didn’t! And, now he’s gone… dead…” she sniffled, and Hayley shut her eyes briefly, but she could still practically see the stricken, tortured look on Elijah’s face even though she hadn’t actually seen him. But, she could imagine it. Katherine sniffled again, “he’s dead… Jonathan is dead because of you.” Hayley flinched. “Our son is _dead_ ,” she paused and sniffled, steeling herself, “and, it is all because of you,” she finished, her voice quiet, barely above a whisper. “It is all your fault!” she snapped, louder this time, but despite her angry tone, Hayley could hear her voice shaking. And then, she stopped. Hayley was ready to reveal herself, and she pushed herself off from the wall. But, then, Katherine added, “you killed him,” and Hayley gasped. This time they heard her and both of them peered over the rail and the look on Elijah’s face when he realized it was her, and what she’d just heard was gut wrenching. And, all Hayley wanted to do was run up to him and take him into her arms, to comfort him, but he didn’t let her. He just shook his head and moved away, and then she heard his footsteps rushing up the stairs and a door slamming so loudly she could hear the echo. Probably the rooftop. Katherine looked at her for several seconds before coming down the stairs, while Hayley moved towards them. She needed to go up to the rooftop, she needed to get to Elijah.

The other woman sighed when she finally reached the landing and the two of them came face to face, and seemed to hesitate before saying something. Hayley swallowed thickly. “I guess you heard that,” she finally said, giving Hayley a defiant look.

“I did,” Hayley nodded, and pursed her lips. “So, now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be,” she said, and brushed past Katherine. Katherine opened her mouth to say something, probably to yell after her, but Hayley didn’t stop to hear what she had to say and instead rushed up the stairs to the rooftop.

As expected, Elijah was there, leaning against the railing at the edge of the roof, his back turned to her and Hayley sighed heavily. But, as the door slammed behind her, the metal making a loud, echoing sound, he turned to face her. He looked on the verge of tears, he was barely keeping it together, and Hayley’s heart broke. 

“Hey,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she walked slowly towards him.

Elijah opened his mouth to say something, and his lip quivered, so he pursed his lips and swallowed thickly.

“Elijah,” she muttered softly as she stood in front of him, itching to reach for him and take him into her arms.

He sighed heavily and hung his head, “I know why you’re here, Hayley,” he finally said, his voice trembling. “I know, and I- I can’t… I’m not ready to talk about it,” he admitted, lifting his head slightly to look at her, and their gazes met. The pain in Elijah’s eyes made her want to drop to her knees and she couldn’t believe he was still standing. Maybe, he felt unsteady, too, because he reached for the railing and rested his hand on it, bracing himself against it.

“Elijah, I-” she started to say, to try to offer some comfort, to tell him she was here, that maybe it was a good idea to talk, but he shook his head and cut her off.

“Please don’t,” he muttered, his voice trembling. “I can’t. I just _can’t_. I can’t talk about it right now. So, please, Hayley, please don’t,” he said in a pleading tone, practically begging her, and Hayley couldn’t refuse him. So, she nodded.

“Okay. But, when you are ready to talk, please know that I’m here,” she said softly, flashing him a small smile.

He nodded, “I know. Thank you.”

She hesitated to turn to go, but if he wasn’t ready to talk, she could go back to the E.R. and give him some time alone. But, it was Elijah who stopped her.

“Hayley,” he muttered, a hint of desperation in his tone. “I could, uh, I could use a hug,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. He looked up, and their gazes met, and she could see what he was asking without him even saying the words.

She sighed, her shoulder slumping, “of course,” she whispered before taking a step towards him, and throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. Elijah returned the hug immediately, his arms wrapping around her waist and he pulled her close, burying his face in her hair.

“Thank you,” he muttered against her skin.

“Of course,” she whispered, rubbing his back gently, pressing herself to him. “I’m here,” she whispered softly. “I’m here.”

“I know,” he whispered back, his voice all but breaking. “I know. And, I love you for it. I love you, Hayley.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered softly.

They rested in the embrace for a few more minutes before she finally pulled away, and flashed him another smile. “I’ll see you later?”

Elijah nodded, and attempted to smile in return, though his was more tense. “Yes, see you later,” he agreed, and she turned around and left.

* * *

Klaus’ first shift back after his suspension just so happened to involve a night shift, which normally wouldn’t have been much of an issue. Except, the reason for his suspension was what made him nervous about having to take the graveyard shift. Because, while normally Hayley would have simply taken Hope to her place and spent the night with their daughter, now Klaus felt nervous, almost afraid to leave the two of them alone. He knew part of it was his paranoia, but it wasn’t so irrational. Not with Jackson Kenner. It occurred to him that ever since Jackson had arrived, he’d miraculously managed not to have any night shifts except for that first one, but Hope had been at Aiden’s.

“Earth to Klaus!” Camille exclaimed, pulling him out of his thoughts, and he turned to his girlfriend who had been walking alongside him. The two of them decided to get coffee from the coffee cart next to the ambulance bay before going back inside.

“Yes, love?”

“You okay?” she asked gently, leaning slightly against his shoulder, and he smiled fondly as she pressed herself into his side, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Yeah, sorry. I just realized that I’ve got a night shift, and it’s the first one I’ve had in a while… since my daughter’s been staying with us,” he admitted. She pulled away so they could order before turning back to him.

Cami chuckled, “you do know you’re not a single parent, right?” she quipped, slightly amused. “I mean, I could take her, I have no trouble babysitting. But, something tells me Hope’s starting to miss Hayley. Maybe you should see if they want to take her tonight?” she suggested as they paid for their coffee. At the hesitant look on his face, she added, “besides, with Elijah there, nothing would happen to either Hayley or Hope.” He opened his mouth to protest, to try to tell her otherwise, but she beat him to eat. “Hey, I know you trust me. But, I also know how paranoid you’ve been since that asshole’s been back. And, with Elijah there, you wouldn’t have to worry,” she said gently, and he sighed. This woman knew him too well, could read him like the back of her hand, but that was one of the many reasons he loved her. She just got him and all his demons, and insecurities, and daddy issues. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

“Hmm,” he paused, “you are right. And, you know me too well,” he said, smirking slightly.

“Besides,” she paused, “like I said, Hope’s starting to miss Hayley. I’m pretty sure she’d thank you for it,” she added, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“You’re probably right. I’ll ask Hayley or Elijah as soon as I see them,” he nodded. “Thank you,” he added softly. As he held her, his lips curved into a smile and he pulled her closer, his hand on her hips, throwing away the empty cup.

“What?” she asked, peering up at him, resting her hands on his shoulder, her fingers drifting to thread through his hair.

“Oh, nothing, just,” he paused, “this is one of the things I love about you, Camille. You understand me better than anyone,” he told her, and she grinned.

“Love about me?”

He nodded, “love about you,” he said softly before leaning forward and brushing his lips against hers. She returned the kiss eagerly, pulling him closer, her hands wrapping around his neck as he rested his firmly on her waist and pulled her closer. The kiss was soft and gentle, and he pulled away, lifting one hand to cup her cheek, and she leaned into the touch. “I love you,” he said softly, and she grinned. They pulled away and walked the rest of the way to the attendings’ lounge, but Cami stopped just as he was about to open the door.

“Crap. Well, I have a patient, so I can’t stay. But, I’ll see you later?” she said as she turned slightly to him, though it sounded like a question. Still, he nodded, and they exchanged a quick kiss. “Oh, and, for the record, I love you, too,” she said before taking off. Klaus just shook his head, laughing and opened the door to the attendings’ lounge. And, he was pleasantly surprised to find his brother being the only other person in the room.

“Ah! Elijah! Just the brother I was looking for,” he exclaimed by way of greeting, causing Elijah to turn to face him.

“Well, considering Finn is on another continent, Henrik is in another city with our parents, and you and Kol never really got along, I’m not surprised,” his brother quipped in a snarky tone. Klaus flashed him a glare and Elijah chuckled, rolling his eyes. “What is it?”

Klaus took a seat beside his brother at the table in the attendings’ lounge and regretted having finished his coffee with Cami because having one now would be helpful. Instead, he cracked his knuckles and drummed his fingers against the table, except that grabbed his brother’s attention.

“Niklaus, is everything okay? You seem oddly nervous, which is unlike you,” Elijah said, leaning forward slightly.

“Well, yes,” he paused, “I suppose everything is okay.”

“Suppose?” Elijah raised an eyebrow. “You don’t sound so sure. Is anyone hurt? In trouble?” he asked, his tone edge with anxiety.

He shook his head, “oh, no, no, nothing like that. Everything’s fine like that. Well, everything’s fine period,” he said. “I just realized I have a night shift tonight. And, I don’t know why that makes me nervous. Well, I suppose I do. I haven’t had a graveyard shift since Jackson Kenner showed up to town and that makes me a little more paranoid than usual,” he admitted.

“Oh,” Elijah muttered. “Well, I’m sure nothing would happen to Camille and Hope, and Hayley’s restraining order also extends to Hope. They’ll be fine,” he shrugged. Klaus glanced at him, and Elijah furrowed his eyebrows slightly as if he was trying to figure out what he was missing. “Wait, does Camille have to be on call tonight?”

“No, she doesn’t. But, we figured Hayley would take her tonight since Hope’s starting to miss her mother,” he said, and Elijah visibly relaxed.

“Oh!” his brother exclaimed, realization dawning on his face. “For the love of God, Niklaus, you were starting to worry me,” he shook his head in exasperation. “You don’t need to ask for my permission for Hayley to take Hope tonight. I’m not Jackson. And, I can handle being by myself for one night,” he said with a shrug.

He snorted, shaking his head, “that’s not what I meant, Elijah. And, you’ve pointedly left yourself out of that equation,” he said, looking over at his brother, and their eyes met. “When I said Hayley would take her tonight, I meant Hayley and you. You two practically live together, and it would make me less paranoid if you were there with them considering the fact that Hayley’s abusive ex is still here and he doesn’t seem to care for that restraining order,” he pointed out, giving Elijah a look. “Also, I was sure we had a little unspoken arrangement between us while that bastard is still here. Hayley stays with you, Hope stays with us where possible. That’s mostly worked out. I know you had Hayley stay with Rebekah the two times you had a night shift. I haven’t had a night shift since he showed up, and forgive me for being a little paranoid and terrified to leave Hayley and Hope alone. I thought you would be, too,” he said, his tone a little harsher than he’d intended at the end.

Elijah sighed, “you are right about that. I suppose it hadn’t occurred to me how it would work out if you had a night shift,” he said as he flexed the fingers of his injured hand in attempt to maintain some movement.

“How? Well, I just told you, there is a simple solution to that. You and Hayley take Hope tonight. Hope gets to be with Hayley, and they have you so they’re not alone; everybody’s safe and happy,” he explained, a pleased grin tugging at the corners of his lips. But, when he looked at his brother once again, Elijah had averted his gaze and he seemed hesitant about something. “Okay, I’ll bite,” he said, causing Elijah to turn to him, except he wasn’t quite looking at him, “what is it?”

“What do you mean?” Elijah asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but Klaus wasn’t buying it. There was something else.

“You seem like you don’t want to have Hope stay with you and Hayley. And, I’m trying to figure out why,” he paused, “is it Hope? Is there something with her? I thought you were fine… you seem fine when we hang out together,” he shook his head. When Elijah seemed to hesitate, he sighed, “Elijah, whatever it is, you can tell me,” he said more gently.

Elijah sighed heavily, “I don’t- I haven’t really been able to-” he paused, and took a deep breath, “before Jackson arrived, when Hayley had Hope for the night I would go back to my place,” he finally said, and Klaus’ eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh?”

“Yeah… it’s just- before I found out Katherine cheated, before I spiraled and moved out and everything that happened after that…” he trailed off, but Klaus knew what Elijah wasn’t saying. _Before Jonathan died._ But, he didn’t say anything about that, just nodded for Elijah to continue, “I remember very clearly this one morning. I think it was a Sunday morning. We had the day off. J ran into our bedroom that morning and Katherine took him into our bed and we all cuddled and just…” he trailed off and blinked rapidly, and Klaus knew he was blinking back tears, but he didn’t say anything. “It was just this perfect moment. We were happy. Then, J and I let Katherine sleep and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. We made pancakes. Or rather, I made pancakes. Jonathan mostly made a mess, but he had fun doing it and got to pretend he had actually been helpful,” he chuckled, but Klaus could hear the tears behind his laugh. “Katherine came downstairs, we had this nice family breakfast. It was just a perfect, normal morning and I-” he paused, and Klaus could hear the tears in Elijah’s voice, how hard he was trying not to cry. Elijah shook his head before continuing, “I never quite realized how much… how precious those mornings were in their simplicity. But, now all I have is the memories… and I can’t lose them,” he finally said, his voice all but breaking and Klaus itched to reach out and wrap an arm around him, to try to offer some comfort, but he wasn’t sure how Elijah would take it so he did nothing.

“And, you think that by having Hope for the night and doing it all with her you’ll lose those memories?” he remarked, furrowing his brow slightly. “Because, I assure you, you won’t. They’re your memories, and no one can take them away from you,” he said firmly, but as gently as he could. “Well, unless you somehow get retrograde amnesia,” he added teasingly and Elijah half-chuckled as well. 

“Perhaps you’re right. I might not lose them, but I am in a way replacing them. Whether intentionally or not. Or, well, I’m replacing him with her,” he admitted and sniffled quietly, reaching to wipe his eyes, turning his head to look away, and Klaus’ heart broke. Finally after a few seconds, he turned to face him, “I love my niece. That little girl means so much to this family… to me. But, she isn’t just my niece. She is my girlfriend’s daughter, and yet I cannot have the same relationship with her as Camille does because it’s too close to a parent-child relationship. And, I cannot have that because I would be replacing Jonathan with her. And, I can’t…” he trailed off and swallowed thickly, pushing back tears. Klaus just remained silent, and after a few moments, Elijah continued, “it’s enough that she is a constant reminder of everything Jonathan should be doing now, I can’t… she can’t take his place in my life. I can’t…” he trailed off, choking back a sob. Klaus couldn’t take this feeling of helplessness anymore, and he reached across the space between them and rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I am so sorry, Elijah,” he muttered as he rubbed his brother’s shoulder. “Does Hayley know?” he wondered, though he had a feeling she did. Because before Jackson came along, she never offered to take Hope with Elijah, she was always saying she would take Hope when she stayed at Elijah’s whenever he had their daughter. He’d found it a bit strange, but didn’t think much of it. Now it all made sense. “And, I know that sorry isn’t enough, but I don’t…” he paused and shook his head, “I don’t know what else to say. Camille would be much better at this,” he said and chuckled lightly. “But, Hope isn’t Jonathan, Elijah. And, I don’t think it’s fair on her that she’s being punished for it,” he said, and immediately regretted. That wasn’t exactly what he meant, but Elijah flinched and pulled back.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Elijah all but snapped, and Klaus could hear the hurt in his voice.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, Elijah. I just…” he trailed off and shook his head, but Elijah went on.

“Don’t you think I know she’s not him? Because I do,” he said, his voice calmer, though there was an edge of hurt in it. “I’m reminded of that every time I look at her. I’m reminded that she’s not him. I’m reminded every time I see you with her that I will never have that again. That I don’t get to share my interests with my child. That I don’t get pizza nights, and pancake mornings, and movies,” his voice shook and Klaus felt a pang of guilt. He should not have said that. He meant to counter Elijah’s argument that he was replacing Jonathan with Hope, but it had come out wrong. “Believe me, Niklaus, I _know_ she’s not him. But, I still feel like I’ll replace him with her and I just can’t…” he trailed off and hung his head.

Klaus sighed heavily, “I didn’t mean it like that, Elijah. I just meant that you wouldn’t be replacing him with her. Because Hope isn’t Jonathan, and I know that is hard to hear and it’s harsh. But, you know I don’t like sugarcoating things,” he said slowly.

Elijah rolled his eyes, “yes, Niklaus you don’t have the best bedside manner,” he remarked drily.

“I know it is hard to hear that and I know it’s harsh. But, unfortunately it is the truth. And, it’s why you’re not replacing Jonathan with Hope, or even the memories. All you’d be doing is creating new ones with Hope, who is your niece and who adores you, believe me. And, yes she is Hayley’s daughter, but I don’t think Hayley would force you to do anything you wouldn’t feel ready to do. Nor will I. But, I meant what I said. She doesn’t deserve to be punished for this. And, she deserves to have you in her life,” he said and Elijah sighed heavily. “Look, if you really can’t do this, I won’t force you. I’ll talk to Hayley and we’ll figure something else out. But, I think Hope would be happy if you and Hayley took her for the night,” he added. And, so would Hayley, though she wouldn’t say so to Elijah, and Klaus wasn’t about to either.

Elijah sighed, “I just- I’m trying, Niklaus. I’m trying, but sometimes it is difficult, almost impossibly so to be around Hope and Henrik. And, I may have gotten used to being around Hope, and Henrik and I may have started to mend things when he stayed with me, but it’s still hard to be around them. Because they just remind me so much of Jon, and in different ways. And, with Henrik it’s different because he’s my brother, but Hope… even if you’re right and I’m not replacing Jonathan with Hope, it still feels as if I’m betraying him. And, I-” he cut himself off and shook his head, “I’m sorry I can’t. I just can’t,” Elijah said, his voice breaking. He sniffled and blinked back tears as he stood up. “I’m sorry, Niklaus,” he muttered, patting his shoulder lightly before walking past him and out of the attendings’ lounge, leaving Klaus trying to figure out what he was going to do. And, his heart was breaking for his brother, and Hayley, and his little girl. Mostly, it was breaking for Elijah and Hope. Hope, who had no idea that her uncle couldn’t bear to spend the night with her because he was drowning in so much grief.


	33. You're Not My Homeland Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cami and Elijah have a chat about Elijah's issues, and when Elijah goes to find Hayley, Katherine stirs a lot of drama

After leaving Niklaus, Elijah found himself going to grab a coffee and sitting on a bench outside. He would’ve gone to the rooftop, but if Niklaus told Hayley the situation, the rooftop was the first place his girlfriend would’ve looked to. And, he wasn’t quite ready to face her yet. So, instead he went outside. It was getting colder, but not too cold that he needed a jacket, and Elijah couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift away, letting the fall air envelop him.

“Mind if I join you?” He looked up to find his soon-to-be sister-in-law, Cami, standing in front of him, holding a cup of coffee in her hand. He wasn’t particularly surprised to see her, considering his conversation with Niklaus, and he shrugged.

“You won’t actually leave me alone if I tell you to, will you?” he quipped, and she chuckled lightly.

“Probably not,” she smirked. He nodded, and moved a little, gesturing for her to take a seat. She sat down and took a sip of her coffee, and he did, too, the two of them sitting there in silence.

“So, did my brother or my girlfriend send you here to talk to me?” he finally said, breaking the silence.

Cami chuckled, “neither, actually. I sent myself. Klaus was ready to go tell Hayley about the situation and try to figure out a solution, but I offered to talk to you instead,” she said, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

Elijah frowned, “Camille, if you’re here to convince me t-” he started to argue, but she cut him off.

“I’m not here to convince you to do anything,” she shook her head. “I’m just here to talk. I’m told I’m a good listener,” she said more gently, though she was still smirking.

Elijah rolled his eyes, “well, it is in your job description,” he chuckled. “Though, do I need to remind you that you aren’t allowed to be talking to me in a professional capacity? You are dating my brother, after all. Careful, Dr. O’Connell, you could lose your license,” he quipped, though his tone was lighter, and Cami laughed, shaking her head in amusement.

“Well, this isn’t my couch, now is it? And, I’m not talking to you in a professional capacity, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’m talking to you as your brother’s girlfriend, as your girlfriend’s best friend and as the person who spent quite some time over the past few weeks with your niece,” she said, giving him a pointed look. Elijah sighed, and rubbed his forehead slightly with his injured hand. “Look, I understand that it’s hard for you, believe me, I do. But, you can’t do this for long. Firstly, because it’s going to become an inconvenience. Secondly, because it’s not fair on anyone. It’s not fair on Hayley, who maybe wants to spend time with both of you the same way Klaus gets to do it with me and Hope. It’s not fair on Hope because she probably misses her mom and wishes she could spend more time with her, and maybe now she’s not questioning it, but how long until she does? She really doesn’t deserve to be punished for your issues,” she said bluntly, and Elijah stiffened. Cami immediately looked apologetic, “okay, that was harsh, and I’m sorry. But, it’s the truth, Elijah. This isn’t just about you, there are other people involved,” she said in a gentler tone.

“Well, Camille, thank you for enlightening me on how selfish I’m being,” he snapped sarcastically. “I apologize that my grief is an inconvenience,” he added drily, but as soon as he said it, he knew it was too harsh without even having to look at Cami’s face. Instead, he stood up to go, but Cami spoke up, stopping him.

“You want to know what I really think?” she yelled, a little loudly, and a few people turned their heads, but ignored them.

Elijah rolled his eyes, “didn’t you just tell me? But, fine, go ahead and tell me what you really think,” he scoffed in exasperation, and rested his injured hand on his hip.

“I think that this isn’t about Hope. Or, Jonathan. It’s not her you’re punishing for not being him as much as it seems that way. It’s you. You are punishing yourself because you still blame yourself for what happened to him,” she said, and Elijah sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. His hand dropped to his side. She was right, though. And, Cami being Cami and a shrink, she wasn’t sugarcoating things. When he said nothing, she nodded, “yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, why don’t you come sit and we can talk about this, unofficially, of course,” she said softly, patting the spot on the bench next to her.

Elijah sighed in defeat, and went to throw away his empty coffee cup before taking a seat beside his soon-to-be sister-in-law.

“It’s not your fault, Elijah. You weren’t driving, you weren’t there. It’s not even Katherine’s fault for those reasons, either. It was an accident. The truck T-boned into them and hit Jonathan’s side worse than Katherine’s. Look, I might not be a doctor like the rest of you and my medical knowledge isn’t the same. But, I did take an anatomy class or two. And, the truck hitting on his side pretty much killed him on impact. It was a wonder he made it to the hospital and into the O.R.,” she said sadly.

“Hope made it,” he said quietly, and Cami’s gaze immediately snapped over to his.

“Is that what this is about?” she gasped. “You’re punishing her because she made it and he didn’t? Elijah-”

“No, of course not,” he snapped, cutting her off. “I love that little girl and if she didn’t make it… I don’t know that I could have looked Hayley or Niklaus in the eyes. And, I wouldn’t wish this… constant pain, this grief on anyone, least of all my girlfriend and my brother,” he said, shaking his head. “I was just saying I guess. Maybe it’s because she’s older. Maybe the paramedics got to her on time. Maybe she didn’t get the full impact the way he did? I’ll never know. But, this isn’t about that. I don’t blame myself for the accident itself happening. I don’t even blame Katherine for it,” he admitted.

“Then why-” she started to ask but cut herself when her gaze flickered to his and realization dawned on her face. “Of course. You don’t blame yourself for not being there. You blame yourself for Jonathan being in that car. Because you were supposed to pick him up that day. And, you didn’t” she said, nodding slowly in understanding. Elijah just hung his head and sighed heavily. “Elijah-” she started to say, but he cut her off

“I should’ve been there, Cami. I should’ve picked him up. I said I would, I _promised_ him I would and I didn’t,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. “I broke my promise,” he added more quietly, choking back a sob.

“It wasn’t your fault, you were drunk, Elijah,” she said, and he shook his head.

“Exactly. What kind of father gets drunk and shirks his parental responsibilities?” Cami hesitated, and averted her eyes, but Elijah knew the answer to that question immediately.

“Elijah, you’re an alcoholic. You spiraled and fell off the wagon, and you weren’t even in AA properly. And, Jonathan had a mother who went to pick him up. And, unfortunately, there was an accident. But, that was just it. It was an accident. And, you need to accept it. Accept that it wasn’t your fault,” she said, her tone firm, but gentle. Elijah sighed.

“I should have-” he started to say, to argue her point as futile as it was.

“Should have what? Should have picked him up drunk?” she countered bluntly, and he flinched. “Do you even want to contemplate what could have happened if you did that? Actually, we don’t need to. We both know what would have happened,” she said, shaking her head. “So, I’m gonna ask you this, Elijah. Would you be able to live with yourself if Jonathan died because you were drunk behind the wheel?” she finally said, and he flinched, letting out a quiet gasp.

He shook his head, “no, I- no, just- Camille, please, no,” he said, shaking his head vehemently, feeling like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was on fire, and he felt tears prickle at his eyes. That was a too-horrifying possibility.

“See?” she quipped. “You need to stop blaming yourself for not going to pick him up in the state that you were then. There were a lot of things that led to that moment, to that accident. To him dying. And, I’m truly sorry that he died, that you lost him Elijah. But, you have got to stop punishing yourself, and those in your life for it,” she said gently. Elijah didn’t say anything, so she added. “Look, I can’t be your psychiatrist. And, if you’re not going to take me up on the offer of finding you one, at least talk to Hayley about this. I know she’s the only one you open up to, and you kind of just need to let all of this out. Because if you just let it fester, it will only cause you more pain. So, just let her in,” she said softly.

Elijah sighed, “what if it’s too much? What if my baggage, my issues are too much for her? I can’t possibly put her through all of it,” he said, his voice trembling slightly.

“Have you asked her? You can’t make this decision for her, Elijah,” Cami said softly. “Hayley needs to know what you’re keeping from her, or even the fact that you are keeping something from her. And, she gets to decide whether it’s too much for her or not. And, I already know what she’ll say. So, you need to talk to her. You need to open up to her. And, if need be, you need to let her catch you,” she said softly, reaching to pat his arm lightly.

“Okay,” he nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“Now about the whole Hope situation,” she said slowly, “you want my professional opinion?”

He shrugged, “you’re already giving it to me, Camille,” he rolled his eyes, but gestured for her to continue. “Do tell.”

“You think that being more than Uncle Elijah is replacing Jonathan with Hope, or betraying him. Or, both. But, you’re wrong. Hope isn’t Jonathan and as much as she reminds you of him, of everything he should be doing now, but will never get to do, of all the things you and him would be doing, all the memories. But, she’s not him. She is, however, your niece and your girlfriend’s daughter and she deserves to have you in her life. And, you deserve to make some new memories with her,” she said softly. “And, Hayley deserves to spend time with both of you,” she added, smiling softly. Elijah just sighed. Damn, she was good.

“I see why you’re in such high demand. And, what Niklaus sees in you,” he said, smirking slightly and Cami laughed.

“Thanks,” she said. Then, she turned to him. She wasn’t done. “You need to learn to redefine parenthood, Elijah. Parenthood isn’t just about being a parent. It’s about being a parental figure, too. Which, I know, you filled that role with your siblings. But, that can also extend to Hope. Accept that letting another kid in isn’t betraying Jonathan. Because he’s always going to live on in your memories and in here,” she said and rested her hand on her heart. He just nodded and sniffled, and a tear spilled down his cheek.

He reached to wipe it away, “thank you, Camille,” he said, flashing her a small, grateful smile. Then he stood up, “I’ll text Niklaus we’re taking Hope tonight. And, I’ll go talk to Hayley,” he said.

Cami nodded, “good,” she quipped, smirking slightly. “See you later.”

“Goodbye, Camille.”

* * *

Elijah didn’t get to see Hayley at all after his talk with Camille. He told Niklaus that he was taking Hope, and his brother just nodded and embraced him, thanking him, though there was small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. But, Niklaus also told him he had to tell Hayley, which was easier said than done. At this point, his niece was going to finish school soon, and no one would be there to pick her up. He would just have to ask someone else to tell Hayley and go pick Hope up. But, first, he was going to take one more shot at finding his girlfriend. He’d been trying to call her and text her, but nothing, which meant that he had to try and find her one more time, so he made his way to the E.R. If there was a place in the hospital, other than an O.R., where his girlfriend was guaranteed to be, it was the E.R.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t his girlfriend he found in the E.R., but his ex-wife. Wonderful. Katherine was leaning against the nurse’s desk, her curly hair pulled up in a bun, a few stray curls loosely hanging around her face, her makeup impeccable as usual, and she was wearing diamond studs and Jonathan’s cross from when he’d been christened on a delicate chair around her neck.

Katherine smiled upon seeing him, “hello, Elijah,” she drawled, her brown eyes focused on him, and strutted over to him. “Fancy seeing you here, in my E.R.,” she added, her eyes roaming over his body, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“You E.R.?” he raised an eyebrow, “I did not know it was your E.R., must have missed the Chief’s email,” he remarked drily, rolling his eyes.

Katherine giggled, her eyes shining with amusement, “oh, come on, Elijah, don’t be such a party pooper,” she quipped, reaching to rest one arm on his shoulder, rubbing it gently, and Elijah tensed, glancing over at her hand. It looked familiar, it felt familiar, but it wasn’t familiar, it wasn’t comforting, not like Hayley was. If anything, it made him uncomfortable. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” she added, her eyes flickering to his.

“Yes, well,” he paused, his eyes drifting to the ceiling, “forgive me for not being inclined to work with you after you accused me of killing our son,” he hissed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Katherine rolled her eyes, “oh, come on,” she trailed her fingers along his arm, causing him to stiffen, “you’re only pissed about that because your little plaything heard us,” she mused.

Elijah pursed his lips and used his other hand to move hers away, gripping her wrist tightly even though it was his injured hand, “don’t call her that,” he hissed, glaring at her. “And, don’t do that. Don’t touch me. You relinquished your right to touch me when you screwed my best friend behind my back,” he snapped, his voice low, barely above a whisper. Katherine looked guilty, and pursed her lips, averting her gaze, and he took a step back from her. “Now, what do you want? Because I’m looking for Hayley, and if you’re trying to distract me, or drive me insane, believe me you are not succeeding,” he added, practically growling.

Katherine giggled, clearly amused, and reached to trail her fingers along his shoulder, “really, ‘Lijah? I think that’s exactly what’s happening,” she quipped. “I am distracting you, and it does bother you because I still affect you, but you’re pretending otherwise,” she said, dragging her fingertips along his biceps, and he tensed. “I just can’t figure out whether it’s because of your new resident plaything, or because of something else. Maybe, I’m bringing up a lot of things,” she drawled, her lips forming into a smug smirk.

Elijah wrenched himself out of her grasp and took several steps away from her, “I told you not to call her that!” he snapped, glaring at Katherine. “And, yeah, maybe you’re bringing up a lot of things like the fact that you cheated on me, or the fact that our son is dead! As if I needed more reminders about that,” he looked down, unable to actually look at her. “Go find something else to do, go transfer to another hospital, preferably in another city and country, I’m sure Jo or Vincent could write you a glowing recommendation for a transfer. Actually, so would I. But, I don’t want you here Katherine, so I suggest you leave,” he said, his tone icy cold, his eyes fixing her with a glare.

Katherine sighed, “yeah, well, I have a reason to be here,” she muttered with a sigh.

“Really? Good for you,” he retorted, rolling his eyes, and letting out an exasperated sigh. He turned to leave, but stopped, and turned to face her again. “What do you want, Katherine?” he finally said, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Why are you here? Of all places in this country, why here?”

Katherine sighed, “I missed you,” she said, reaching to cup his cheek, but he pulled away, stepping back, and hurt flooded her expression.

“What the hell, Katherine?” he snapped, and when Katherine reached for him again, he caught her hand, his fingers gripping her wrist. “What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed angrily, his eyebrows knitting together. “I told you, I’m in relationship,” he pointed out. “I’m not going to do to Hayley what you did to me,” he added, and Katherine sighed, but nodded. “Now, I will ask you again, what are you doing here?”

“Elena’s here, you’re here, I… look, actually, I do need to talk to you,” she started, looking over at him, but he just shook his head.

“No, you know what, Katherine? I’m not doing this, so you can save it,” he snapped coldly. “I’m not going to entertain this foolishness, so whatever reason you have for being here, I could care less. To me, you’re just another reminder that he’s gone, and I can’t even,” he paused, and took a deep, calming breath, “I can’t even look at you. So, do whatever you want to do, just stay out of my business,” he finished coldly, and turned around, walking away from her, but then Katherine’s hand on his arm stopped him, and he whirled around. “What?”

“Elijah, I just- I really need to talk to you about something-” she started to say, her voice soft as she rubbed his arm gently, and he gritted his teeth before cutting her off.

“Save it, Katherine!” he snapped, his voice a low hiss, and wrenched himself out of her grasp, turning around to go find Hayley elsewhere, but was stopped again. By Katherine’s lips on his and her hands around his neck. It took only a second or two for his mind to catch up to what was happening, and immediately he pushed Katherine off, his hands on her shoulders, pushing her away and holding her in place. When he looked around, he noticed a few of the doctors were staring at him, but he didn’t really care about them. He only cared about one. And, she wasn’t there. _Fuck._ But then, he relaxed slightly as he realized that she hadn’t even been in the E.R. to begin with, so she hadn’t seen what happened. Hopefully. He held onto that thought like his life depended on it.

“What are you all staring at?” he snapped, and everyone seemed to realize that he had caught them. “Get back to work!”

Then, he turned back to his ex-wife, and felt anger course through him. And, not just anger. He almost couldn’t believe what had happened. But, then this was Katherine. Should he really be surprised?

“What the fuck?” he gasped, still stunned by what had happened. “Are you- are you out of your mind, Katherine?” he hissed, glaring at his ex-wife.

Katherine rolled her eyes and laughed, “oh, c’mon, darling,” she purred, and he flinched.

“Don’t!” he snapped, his voice still low, taking a step closer to her. “You’ve forfeited the right to call me that, or any other nickname when you cheated on me with my best friend,” he hissed, glaring at her. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “how could you do this to me?” he asked, though it was more of a rhetorical question. He shook his head, “actually, you know what? I’m not surprised. I should have known you were up to no good, Katherine. I should have known to stay away from you. It’s over after all, it’s been over for two and a half years,” he said, and took another step away from her.

“Oh, come on, ‘Lijah, honey,” she purred, shaking her head, “that was the grief, we can-” she started, reaching for him again, but he cut her off and took another step away from her.

“No, that was you cheating on me. You cheated on me, Katherine and broke my heart. And, you lied to me. I can’t… I can’t even look at you,” he shook his head. “You and I are done. And, we’ve been done for long before Jonathan died. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go,” he said, and with that he turned around and left the E.R.

He looked around, trying to figure out where he could find his girlfriend, and was about to try calling her again when he spotted her, going through the door that led to the stairwell, and he jogged after her.

“Hayley!” he yelled, calling out her name, and she turned around to face him, her expression completely blank, like she was hiding something. But, there was something else, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He relaxed, though and couldn’t help but smile, “hey.”

“Dr. Mikaelson, is there something you needed?” she said by way of greeting, her voice neutral, devoid of emotion, and Elijah’s stomach churned nervously. She hadn’t addressed to him in such a formal way in a while, and it took him off-guard.

“Dr. Mikaelson?” he said, surprise evident in his voice, and took a step closer to her. “You don’t have to be so formal,” he said, his voice low. “And, what I need to talk to you about is personal,” he added, reaching to rest his hand on her arm, but she flinched, and pulled away from him, and he couldn’t help the hurt he felt. “Hayley, what is going on?”

“Nothing,” she smiled, but he knew it was fake. “I just have a lot of work to do, so I’m gonna go and do work. You should, uh, you should get back to… what you were doing before,” she said, nodding. Elijah was confused, but part of him had an idea of what she meant. “Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she said, flashing him a smile, and side stepped him, brushing past him as she went through the door that led him to the stairwell. Elijah stood there for a few seconds before following her, and found her running up the stairs. 

“Hayley!” he called out as he jogged up the stairs to catch up to her. “What is going on? Are you- are you mad at me?” he asked, confusion clear in his voice, as he caught up to her. But, she ignored him and kept going. “Hayley!” he yelled, an edge of hurt in his voice. “What did I do? Why are you mad at me?” he yelled, and reached for her, stopping her, his hand gripping her arm. She gasped, and froze, and Elijah wanted to kick himself. He shouldn’t have done that. Immediately, he let go and stepped back. “Hayley, I am so sorry, I-” he started to say, his voice filled with regret, but she stopped him.

“It’s fine,” she said, but he could see her shudder, and he hated himself for it. Whether she wanted to or not, she was scared right now. Of him. Because of him. And, he hated himself for it. Finally, she turned around, and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and it was all his fault. She plastered on a fake smile, “it’s fine. I’m fine, Elijah. In fact, I’m not mad either,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m thrilled actually,” she said sarcastically, and he stilled at that, but Hayley continued. “I’m so fricken happy to see you making out with your ex-wife in the middle of the E.R!” she snapped, and tears spilled down her cheeks, but she wiped them away hastily.

Elijah froze and his shoulders slumped as he shut his eyes briefly. _Oh, fuck._ Hayley knew. Of course she knew. Because things couldn’t possibly get worse. He took a step towards her, but stopped, and reached to steady himself on the railing. She probably didn’t want him to be close to her now, didn’t want him touching her. He knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was because Jackson was back, but still he hated it. Or, rather, hated himself for it. That he had triggered her. He closed his eyes again, and took a deep breath before opening them and looking at her carefully.

“Hayley, please,” he said softly, his voice wavering, “I can explain. Please let me explain,” he said in a pleading tone.

“Explain what? What could you possibly explain that I didn’t see?” she demanded, and despite the inflection in her tone, he could also hear the hurt, and that only made him hate himself more.

He shook his head, “you didn’t… you didn’t see everything-” he started to argue, but she cut him off.

“Oh, really?” she rolled her eyes incredulously. “That’s what you’re gonna go with? Really, Elijah? I thought you were better than that!”

He sighed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant… yes, what you saw was true, but-” he tried again, but again she cut him off.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she remarked sarcastically, and he sighed, shaking his head in defeat.

“Do you even want the truth, Hayley?” he finally said, a slight inflection in his voice. As mad as he was at himself, he needed to tell her the truth, he needed to tell her what happened, and she wasn’t letting him. When she didn’t reply, he just sighed and shook his head. “I understand that you’re angry, I understand that you hate me, believe me, I hate me, too,” he finally said, his voice thick with emotion, and surprise flitted across Hayley’s expression.

“Elijah, I-” she started to say, but he cut her off this time.

“No, please, Hayley,” he practically begged, “please let me say it. I get that you’re angry, and hurt, and maybe you hate me. But, you’re wrong. Yes, Katherine did kiss me. But, I didn’t kiss her back,” he said, and Hayley’s eyes widened. “I didn’t kiss her back. I pulled away. I _pushed_ her away. I did not kiss her back, Hayley, you must believe me,” he said, taking a hesitant step towards her. “I would never do that. I would _never_ cheat on you, Hayley,” he felt tears prickle at his eyes as he said it, and blinked them back. “And, I think you know that. Because, if you know me, you should know that I would never do something like that,” he added. He was grasping at straws here, hoping that she knew him well enough to believe him, that she trusted him enough. “I am truly sorry about what happened, for hurting you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Please forgive me, Hayley, but I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he added, a desperate edge to his tone. “I love you, and I would never hurt y-” He was cut off by Hayley’s lips on his, soft and warm, molding with his as her hands drifted to wrap around his neck. He hadn’t even noticed her descend those few steps to close the gap between them, shutting him up in the best way possible, but he welcomed it. He returned the kiss eagerly, his lips molding with hers as his uninjured hand gripped her waist gently, and his injured one rested on her back. Hayley slipped her tongue into his mouth, and their tongues tangled together, dancing to an all-too familiar rhythm, their breaths mingling.

After a few seconds, Hayley pulled away, and their gazes met, “I love you, too,” she said softly. She licked her lips, and looked down briefly before her gaze flickered to his again, “and, I’m sorry that I jumped to conclusions so quickly,” she added. “You’re right, I do know you. I guess I just got a little insecure. I’m sorry,” she said, her hands sliding to rest on his shoulders.

He lifted his uninjured hand and rested his thumb against her lips, “shh,” he said in a low voice, “it’s okay. I can hardly blame you. You saw me and Katherine kissing, but I swear to you, Hayley, I didn’t kiss her back. Whatever Katherine is doing, it’s to get under our skin. Mostly mine,” he told her, and caressed her cheek lightly.

“I know,” she said, her lips breaking into a smile. “I just- with her back and everything, I feel a little insecure, so…” she trailed off.

“You shouldn’t be,” told her. “I don’t care about Katherine, I only care about you. I only love you. I only see you,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“I love you, too,” she said softly before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“I spoke to Niklaus, and he told me that he’s on call tonight. Which means that somebody needs to take Hope,” he told her, and her eyes widened.

“Oh crap. I’m sorry- um, I mean, I could take her and-” she started to say, but he interrupted her.

“We’re taking her,” he told her, and Hayley looked at him in shock.

“We?” she asked, her voice small, barely above a whisper.

He nodded, and smiled, “yes, we. I’ll pick her up from school, and we’ll come pick you up from work, and we can grab pizza on the way home. Unless, you want something else for dinner…” he trailed off, but she shook her head.

“No, no, pizza for dinner sounds perfect. This all sounds perfect. You’re perfect,” she said, grasping onto the lapels of his lab coat tightly.

He smiled, “I’m glad you’re happy with the plan.” He didn’t protest her calling him perfect because she’d probably argue with him about it, and he didn’t want to ruin the mood.

“Happy? I love it!” she exclaimed, a giddy smile forming on her lips. He just chuckled, and smiled back playfully. And then, she kissed him. Passionately, eagerly, deeply.

* * *

Their stairwell make out session didn’t last long, though, and was interrupted by her pager.

“Doesn’t this thing have just the best timing?” she quipped, rolling her eyes as she broke the kiss, and stepped back.

Elijah snorted, “well, it is the life of a doctor,” he mused, shrugging. “E.R?”

She nodded, “yup. And, Jo is off today, so I get to work with your ex-wife bossing me around. Oh, joy,” she muttered sarcastically. Elijah sighed guiltily.

“I’m sorry,” he said as the two of them walked down the stairs.

She shook her head, “it’s not your fault your ex-wife and I are in the same field. Maybe I could ask Klaus or someone to take me on their service for now,” she said, scrunching her face thoughtfully.

“And, not get the experience you need to pass the boards? No, Hayley, Katherine being here shouldn’t keep you from finishing your residency. Just ask Jo to put you on her service when she comes back,” he said. “Or, I can talk to Jo for you if you want,” he added.

“No, I’m fine. It’s fine. I don’t need Katherine to start a rumor about me getting special treatment, too. I’ll be fine,” she told him, shaking her head. Her pager beeped again. “Okay, I have to go,” she said, and they exchanged one quick kiss before she ran the rest of the way to the E.R.

“Marshall!” Katherine yelled as she ran to the ambulance bay, and Hayley rolled her eyes while grabbing a yellow gown, trying to tie it as she walked to join Katherine.

“What do we have?” she asked, but before Katherine could tell her, the ambulance roared in and skidded to a stop before the doors opened to reveal Davina.

“Hey, Davina, what do we have?” she said by way of greeting.

“Matt Cooper, forty-four. GCS of 11, was attacked on his way home, mugged and assaulted. Sustained blows to the head and abdomen, and was stabbed in his neck,” she reported, nodding towards the patient’s neck. “We found him unconscious on the scene, but he regained consciousness, although he’s a bit confused. He probably hit his head, too,” she added. The patient screamed, writhing in pain.

“Okay, let’s take him inside,” she said, and they rolled him in.

“Take him to trauma 1,” Katherine said. “So, Marshall, how do we proceed?”

“You tell me. You’re the attending after all,” she shrugged, rolling her eyes.

“Excuse me?” Katherine looked over at her. “And, you’re a fifth year resident. This is a teaching hospital, so…” she trailed off. Hayley just rolled her eyes, but did as told.

“Let’s hook him up to monitors,” she said. “Josh!” she yelled, and seconds later, the intern appeared. “Run a large-bore IV for Mr. Cooper,” she told him, before stepping over to the patient.

“Mr. Cooper?” she said gently. “Mr. Cooper?” The patient only screamed, writhing in pain, and Hayley shook her head. “Okay, you were attacked and stabbed, but you’re at the hospital now, and we’re going to do everything to help you!”

“IV’s in,” Josh reported.

“Okay, bolus him with morphine and sedate him, I need him to stop moving so much. Pretty sure that knife’s in the carotid artery which would be really bad,” she said. “Let’s run a FAST, and we need a neuro exam,” she added, and Katherine went to do the neuro exam. “Do we know anything about his medical history?” she asked, but the nurse shook her head. “Well, we need to know. If he’s on any blood thinners at all and we pull that knife out, he’ll bleed out in minutes,” she said.

“Neuro is fine, but we can do a head CT to confirm,” Katherine said.

“Okay, FAST is positive, we need to get him to an O.R. and stop the bleeding,” she reported. “Any other injuries?”

“Well, he needs a CT to rule out bleeding and if he has any injuries,” Katherine reported.

“Yeah, well, I’m a little more worried about the knife lodged in his carotid,” she grumbled, rolling her eyes. She turned to Gia, “page Dr. Mikaelson, have him meet me in the O.R.,” she said. “Kol,” she added to be precise, and Gia nodded. “Okay, I need to remove this knife. Once I do, there will likely be a lot of bleeding. I need lap pads, gauze and sponges, anything to keep him from bleeding out,” she ordered before positioning herself. “Okay, Josh, come steady him,” she requested.

“Who? Me? Wait… right. Yeah…” he trailed off and came to the patient’s other side.

“Okay, ready?” Josh nodded. “Okay. One, two, three,” she said and pulled the knife out and a fountain of blood burst out. She immediately threw the knife into the surgical tray. “Okay, I need lap pads now!” she yelled and Gia immediately handed her gauze which she used to stop the bleeding, though she could still feel the warm blood gushing out, and pressed her hand tightly. Katherine clicked her tongue, looking at her carefully, but didn’t say anything. “Okay, let’s take him to the O.R.,” she said. Then, she turned to Katherine. “Unless, Dr. Petrova, you would prefer to take this one yourself?”

Katherine stared at her, her eyes wide, “is there a problem Dr. Marshall?” she finally asked.

Hayley grinned, and turned to her other woman. “Well, yes. You kissed my boyfriend in front of the whole E.R. I think that constitutes a problem,” she finally said.

Katherine sputtered, “that is extremely unprofessional, Dr. Marshall. You are off my service!”

“Sure thing. Now, I can let go of Mr. Cooper here and hand him over to you, but my hands are literally the only thing keeping him from bleeding to death. So, I think I’ll take him to the O.R. instead. If you don’t mind,” she quipped before hopping onto the gurney so she could keep the pressure more easily. “Let’s go!” she yelled and the doors to the trauma room opened and the nurses and Josh helped wheel the patient out, leaving Katherine behind. Hayley just shook her head. It would probably occur to her later that she had just let her personal feelings cloud her judgement, but right now she didn’t care.


	34. It's Never Simple, Never Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah finally spends the weekend with Hayley and Hope and starts to deal with his issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly fluffier chapter, though there are some angsty parts because Elijah has a lot of issues to deal with. And, also because this is me. I can't not write angst. LOL. Enjoy!  
> xx

After parting ways with Hayley, Elijah dropped by his office to change out of his scrubs, which was unfortunately made slightly more difficult by the fact that he didn’t have full use of his dominant hand, but he somehow managed to get changed into a t-shirt and jeans. He’d picked up his niece’s things from his brother’s office, and after grabbing his own bag, he was ready to go pick her up from school. He still had time to spare, so he decided to drop by his place to pick up a few things before going to the grocery store as well.

He parked the car and got out, spotting Hope right away, her flaming red being blown by the slight breeze like a halo around her head as she stood with her class. After telling the teacher who he was, he waited for the teacher to confirm with Hope, which made him feel a slight pang of guilt. Hope didn’t have to deal with this, though he doubted she actually knew about the restraining order, but still he felt bad about it. Which, he knew hardly made any logical sense, but he couldn’t help it. The teacher pointed him out, and Hope nodded, grinning before she finally said goodbye to her teacher and bounced over to him.

“Uncle Elijah!” she yelled excitedly, launching herself at him, and he had just enough time to lower himself to the ground and catch her, her small arms wrapping around his neck tightly as he wrapped one arm around her small body, steadying her.

“Hey, Hope,” he said and smiled as he hugged her briefly before untangling himself from the embrace and standing up. “How was school?” he asked her as he took her hand and led her to his car, throwing her backpack in, and helping her buckle in.

“It was great! We had art class,” she said cheerfully as he got in as well and fastened his own seatbelt. Elijah chuckled. She was so much like Niklaus in that department., her day made immediately better by some paints and a canvas. Hope glanced over at him, “how come you’re picking me up?”

“Uh, your dad is on-call tonight and your mom’s still in surgery,” he told her as he started the engine and reversed out of the parking lot before getting on the middle lane.

“Oh. So, does that mean I’m staying with you guys tonight?” she asked.

“Yeah. We’re gonna pick up your mom, grab some pizza on the way, and head home,” he told her, flashing her a quick smile.

Hope grinned cheerfully, “that sounds awesome!” she exclaimed happily before focusing on her book again. Then, she turned to him again, “uncle Elijah?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” he glanced over at her as he drove.

“What happened to your hand?” she asked, peering over at him curiously.

Elijah couldn’t help but laugh, “well, I kind of broke it,” he told her.

She raised an eyebrow, “kind of?” she quipped, and in this moment she was so much like Hayley, he felt like he was seeing double.

“Okay, Little Miss Smarty-pants,” he conceded, still laughing. “I just broke it at the gym,” he told her, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to tell her he did it on her stepfather’s face because he still wasn’t quite sure how much she knew about Jackson. He doubted she knew anything specific, so it was for the best that he not tell her.

“That’s so silly, Uncle Elijah!” Hope exclaimed, rolling her eyes, a gesture that Hayley did often, and he realized that while Hope looked like Niklaus, her mannerisms were mostly like her mother’s. “You have to be more careful,” she added.

“I know,” he nodded, “so your mom keeps telling me,” he quipped.

Hope rolled her eyes again, “well, duh,” she said, completely deadpan. “Mom is a doctor, so she knows what she’s talking about after all,” she added, and flashed him another smile before focusing on her book again.

He chuckled, “and, a very good one at that. Speaking of, I’m gonna call to let her know we are on our way,” he said, and clicked Hayley’s caller ID on the speed dial. Finally, someone answered on the last ring. “Hayley?” he said by way of greeting.

“Dr. Mikaelson, it’s Gia. Dr. Marshall is still in surgery, elbows deep trying to fix someone’s carotid artery,” Gia told him.

He couldn’t help but smile, “I see. Do you know how much longer she’s gonna take?” he asked.

“She said about an hour more,” Gia replied, so Elijah signaled a turn.

“Okay, well, then please tell her Hope and I are getting ice-cream, and we’ll pick her up afterwards,” he told Gia as he switched lanes.

“Okay, will do. And if this looks like it’ll take longer, we’ll let you know.”

He nodded, smiling, though she couldn’t see him, “thanks, Gia. Talk to you later,” he told her.

“Bye, Dr. Mikaelson,” she said and ended the call.

Elijah turned to his niece then, “so, Hope, you up for some ice-cream? Your mom is taking longer in surgery, so we have about an hour to spare,” he told her, and her face broke into a giddy smile.

“Yes! Of course I want ice-cream!” she said cheerfully, grinning widely. Elijah just smiled, and his mind drifted to when he used to pick Jonathan up from preschool and treat him to ice-cream or a trip to the toy store. Or, when they used to go get ice-cream together just because, for absolutely no reason. Elijah pushed those thoughts away, and sighed sadly, blinking back tears as he tried not to think about the past. But, sometimes it was damn near impossible not to.

“Okay, baby girl, let’s go get ice-cream,” he said as he made another turn. Hope beamed, and he flashed her a smile in the rearview mirror as he drove towards the French Quarter.

After parking the car and turning off the engine, he got out and rounded over to Hope’s side, opening the door and helping her out of the car. She grabbed hold of his uninjured hand, and the two of them walked, or in Hope’s case, bounced, to one of the cafés that sold ice-cream as well.

“Okay, sweetie, just pick one since we haven’t had dinner yet,” he told her, and Hope immediately pouted, her blue eyes wide.

“But, uncle ‘Lijah, I’ve had lunch at school already,” she argued.

“Yeah, but what will your mom say when she finds out I’ve loaded you with sugar before dinner?” he raised an eyebrow at her, but she shook her head.

A small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips, “yeah, but, what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” she quipped. That was all Niklaus. Elijah sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Besides, is it every day that you take your favorite niece out for ice-cream?” she added, pouting, blinking her baby blues at him.

Elijah sighed, “fine. You can have two scoops,” he told her. “And, for the record, you’re my only niece, Hope,” he added, half-chuckling. She just smiled brightly. After ordering ice-cream, one peanut butter jelly and one strawberry for Hope, and one chocolate fudge brownie for him along with coffee, the two of them went to take a seat. Hope smirked when the waitress brought the ice-cream, and he glanced over at her.

“What?”

She smirked in a distinctly Niklaus-like manner, “oh, nothing, it’s just funny that you have a sweet tooth and pretend to be such a health nut,” she told him smartly. “Mom thinks it’s cute by the way.”

“Does she?”

Hope nodded, “yup. She thinks you’re really cute, but also really handsome. Especially if you wear a suit,” she informed him matter-of-factly, and Elijah couldn’t help but flush.

“Good to know,” he muttered, clearing his throat.

“She really loves you, Uncle Elijah,” Hope told him as she shoved a rather large spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth.

“Hey, hey, slow down, Hope,” he told her. “That ice-cream isn’t going anywhere,” he added, half-chuckling. Hope just nodded, and the next spoonful was significantly smaller.

“Do you love my mom?” she asked him, and Elijah couldn’t help but be a little bit surprised by the question. Although, it wasn’t the question itself that surprised him, but the way Hope asked it, so sure of herself, so matter-of-fact.

He smiled, “I do,” he nodded. “Of course I love her, Hope. Your mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he told her, a small smile forming onto his lips.

She just nodded. “Daddy thinks so, too. He said that mom is your axis just like the Earth has an axis, mom is yours. Just like Cami is daddy’s,” she beamed. “He was trying to explain the Earth axis to me,” she added. “Daddy also thinks that mom brings out your fun side.”

“Does he know? Well, it sounds like your dad has a lot of thoughts on me and your mom. Maybe he should focus on himself and Cami,” he quipped, smirking slightly.

“Well, of course he is,” she rolled her eyes theatrically in a very Hayley-like manner. “Don’t be silly, Uncle Elijah. And, at least daddy and Cami live together. When are you gonna ask mommy to move in with you?”

Elijah was left slightly speechless, “well, I, uh- I- um, well…” he stammered, at a loss for words. Where did his seven-year-old niece get so much information on his and Hayley’s relationship? And then, it clicked. Rebekah. Of course. Hope likely spent a lot of time with Rebekah, who wasn’t shy to share her thoughts. “Well, Hope, I’m working on it,” he told her, plopping another spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.

“Work faster,” she shot back, grinning.

“You know what? Why don’t you let me worry about me and your mom, and tell me about school?” he asked, deciding to change the subject quickly. Hope seemed content to do it, and started to ramble about school and her friends, her blue eyes shining with happiness, and she looked so much like Hayley in this moment despite her different hair and eye color, and he couldn’t help but smile as he listened to her.

* * *

After they finished their ice-cream, they left, and just in time, too, because Hayley texted him that she was done with surgery, so they went to pick her up.

“Mommy!” Hope exclaimed, her face breaking into a smile when Hayley opened the door and got into the car.

Hayley immediately turned to her daughter, “hey, there, sweetie!” she greeted her daughter with a smile. “I’ve missed you,” she said, reaching back to rub her daughter’s head and shoulder gently, and Hope unbuckled herself and jumped to press a kiss to her mother’s cheek. Hayley, turned, too, and reached to kiss her daughter’s forehead, wrapping an arm around Hope’s shoulders as he started the engine.

“I missed you, too, mommy!” Hope squealed, beaming happily. They shared a few more affectionate kisses before Hope sat back.

Elijah glanced over at her in the rearview mirror, “you ready to go?” She just beamed, bouncing around giddily. “Then, put your seatbelt on, please,” he added, and the seven-year-old did as told before turning to him and Hayley again.

“Will I stay with you guys all weekend?” she asked, peering at both of them curiously.

Hayley glanced over at him, and he shrugged.

“We’ll see, sweetie,” Hayley told her, smiling, though she was looking at him, and he just nodded. “Depends on work,” she added, but Elijah knew she was giving _him_ an out. She was telling him that if he didn’t feel up to the full weekend, it didn’t have to last a full weekend. He was touched, of course he was, but a part of him felt guilty she felt compelled to do this. He shook his head and pushed the thought away.

But, before he switched gears, Hayley stopped him, reaching to cup his cheek, pulling him to face her.

“Hi,” she grinned, her hazel eyes shining, and he immediately relaxed, leaning into her touch, the feel of her palms against his cheeks, her thumbs gently rubbing his skin soothing.

“Hi,” he replied, his own voice low, and he couldn’t help but return the smile as he stared into her eyes. He loved these simple moments with her, the simple intimacy of her touch, the way she looked at him, the love in her eyes. He still didn’t fully believe he deserved her, she was so much better than him, she deserved better, but he did believe in her love for him, and he was head over heels in love with her, so there was a chance. A chance he didn’t plan to waste. Hayley leaned forward, and closed the gap between them, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips that he returned eagerly only for her to break it all-too-soon. He pouted slightly, and she giggled in amusement.

“Don’t be a baby,” she quipped in amusement, her voice a low whisper, and gestured with her head to Hope in the back, completely engrossed in her tablet.

“I love you,” he said softly.

Hayley smiled, “I love you, too.”

“So,” he said as he pulled out of the parking lot and switched onto the right lane, “pizza first, then home?”

She grinned, “yeah. Let’s go home.”

Home. Hayley and Hope’s home, but that was mainly his fault. He could have spent more time there, made it more his place, but he’d been all-too happy with the unspoken arrangement that had Hayley staying with him at his place, and Hope with Niklaus. He wondered if Hayley was having second thoughts on that, if it bothered her that he wasn’t ready for this, if she questioned his commitment to her, to Hope. He shook his head and nodded, pushing those thoughts away, and smiled as he turned onto the road.

The drive to Hayley’s was mostly filled with Hayley and Hope talking while he focused on the road, and Hayley ordered the pizza online which they picked up on the way before finally going to Hayley’s. Elijah pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine, and the three of them got out, grabbing their things from the back and the groceries.

“You did the grocery shopping?” Hayley raised an eyebrow as she peered into the bags as Hope bounced off to the door.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “is that- forgive me if I was being presumptuous, I just wanted to make it easier for you-” he was prevented from saying anything else by Hayley’s thumb on his lips.

“No, you silly man,” she chuckled, shaking her head, half amused, half exasperated at his insecurities. “That’s really sweet. I was just surprised is all,” she added softly before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as he returned it, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close as her own hands drifted to the back of his neck, her fingers threading his hair. Hayley deepened the kiss, her lips urging and demanding against hers, and he responded in kind, his own lips molding with hers. Their tongues tangled together for a few seconds before a certain seven-year-old interrupted them.

“Mom! Uncle Elijah!” she yelled, and Elijah broke the kiss, both him and Hayley breaking into laughter as he hid his face in her hair, pressing another kiss to her temple. They turned to face Hope, who was standing in front of the front door, a hand on her hip in a very Rebekah-like manner, and Elijah couldn’t help but snort.

“Reminds you of Rebekah, doesn’t she?” Hayley whispered, and he nodded, smiling.

“Exactly like Rebekah,” he muttered.

“Yes, baby girl?” Hayley asked, turning to her daughter.

“Can we go inside now?” she asked.

Hayley chuckled, “of course we can, sweetie. We’re coming,” she said as she turned to help him with the bags.

“I can manage,” he attempted to argue, but she just shook her head, looking pointedly at his injured hand.

“Don’t even try,” she said quickly. “Need I remind you that that’s the second time you broke your hand? And, it’s not gonna heal properly if you keep exerting it,” she said firmly, though she flashed him a fond smile.

He sighed, “fine,” he grumbled and let her help him, the two of them going to join Hope and Hayley opened their apartment. The three of them entered, and Elijah followed Hayley to the kitchen to leave the groceries while Hope ran excitedly to her room.

“Don’t forget to wash your hands, sweetie!” Hayley yelled after her, but the seven-year-old hardly gave any indication she was listening. After dumping their things in the bedroom, the two of them washed their hands, the surgeon in them doing it almost automatically, and proceeded to unpack the groceries. “I’m gonna go get her to wash her hands and change,” Hayley said after a while, blowing a stray piece of her hair from her face, and he reached and tucked it behind her ear. She just flashed him a quick smile before going to Hope’s room. Elijah finished putting away the groceries, and put the pizza in the oven to heat it slightly before bringing it to the dinner table. Hayley and Hope returned moments later, and while Hope just saw down, eager to eat, Hayley came to over to him.

“Need any help?” she asked softly, touching his shoulder as he reached for the glasses, grabbing two for water for himself and Hope, and was about to grab a wineglass for Hayley when she stopped him. “No, thanks, I’ll just have water,” she said quickly.

He raised an eyebrow, “really? I know why you don’t at my place, but I figured you’d have wine at yours,” he said in a low whisper.

“No, I don’t think I’ve got any here, I’ll just have water honestly,” she said, her own voice a hushed whisper.

“Hayley, I’m fine, you don’t have to refrain from drinking on my account,” he whispered, shaking his head.

She licked her lips hesitantly, and immediately he knew what she struggled to say even without her saying it.

“Right,” he muttered and grabbed another glass for water. “You don’t trust me,” he couldn’t help the hurt in his voice, and Hayley instantly reached for him, but he turned around and returned to the table. Hayley followed after him, and the two of them grabbed their own slices of pizza. Dinner passed by mostly in silence except for Hope talking about school and what she had been up to at Niklaus and Camille’s, smiling excitedly as she told them everything, her blue eyes shining with delight. Hayley engaged with her daughter, occasionally interrupting her to share an anecdote or laugh at an inside joke, and Elijah could see that she was avoiding him this way, but at this point he didn’t really care. He participated, too, occasionally giving some inputs, although he was more subdued than his girlfriend and her daughter. Still, despite the slight awkwardness between himself and Hayley, it felt good, and warm, and comforting, just the three of them together, having a – mostly – good time. It reminded him of dinners with Jonathan and Katherine before everything went to hell, before he found out about Katherine’s cheating, before he spiraled and left, before Jonathan died. When they used to be a real family, the two of them, mostly happy together, and Jonathan who had been mostly well-behaved in his toddler years, having dinner together, him and Katherine switching feeding duties every other night.

“Uncle Elijah!” Hope yelled, grabbing his attention, and he blinked rapidly pushing away the memories.

“Y- yes?” he asked, an edge of emotion in his voice as he focused once again on his niece, blinking back the tears that prickled his eyes.

“Want to watch a movie with me and mom?” she asked, and he could see how much she wanted him to do that, and Hayley glanced over at him.

“Of course,” he said, forcing a smile. Hope beamed happily and warmth flooded his chest.

“Hey, Hope?” Hayley turned to her daughter, and the seven-year-old nodded.

“Yeah, mom?”

“Why don’t you go change into your pjs while your uncle and I clear the table,” she suggested, and Hope immediately agreed, smiling at both of them as she bounced to her room, but Elijah was almost certain that Hayley hadn’t sent her to another room just to change. She did it so the two of them could have some privacy. But, Elijah just stood up and began taking the dishes back into the kitchen, opening the dishwasher and starting to load it. Hayley followed him and stood there, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him.

“Are you really going to ignore me?” she finally asked after a while, but he didn’t turn to her. He didn’t particularly want to hear her tell him, again, that she wasn’t comfortable drinking in front of him. “Seriously, Elijah?” she snapped when he didn’t say anything, and rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Finally, he turned to her, “what, Hayley?” he snapped, though his voice was low. “Forgive me if I don’t look forward to this particular conversation,” he added coldly and continued to load the dishwasher.

Hayley just shook her head and mumbled something under her breath before finally making her way over to him.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, and he immediately looked up.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he muttered in a snarky tone, but that only served to annoy his girlfriend even more.

She shook her head, “no, you really are. You are an idiot, Elijah Mikaelson,” she said as she took a step closer to him and reached for him, resting her hand on his arm. He stopped and turned to face her. She shook her head in exasperation, “it’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable around you. It’s- it’s because I care about you,” she said softly, and his breath hitched in his throat. She nodded, “yeah. I care about you, Elijah, if I haven’t made it obvious until now,” she said and he couldn’t help but blush a little. She had most certainly made it obvious, and he was just being an idiot. But, he couldn’t help but be insecure every time his drinking was brought up like this. “And, because I care, I don’t want _you_ to be in an uncomfortable position. That’s why I’m not drinking around you. Because, yes, you’re only a little more than six months sober and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by having wine at dinner. Because I care about you. I get that the truth is harsh and it stings a little, but I’m only doing this because I care. Okay?” He nodded, and she smiled before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Are we good now?”

“Yeah, we’re good. I’m sorry about overreacting, it’s just- you know how my siblings used to be, how they still sometimes are, it was just hard to hear it. Especially from you,” he admitted, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together before pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“Yeah, I know,” she whispered.

“I love you, Hayley,” he said softly before leaning closer and pecking her lips. “I’m gonna finish here, if it’s okay with you.”

“Oh, please go ahead,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m gonna go get Hope and pick a movie to watch,” she told him. “Love you,” she said as she rubbed his arm lightly before leaving the kitchen.

Elijah busied himself loading the dishwasher and starting it before he went to the bedroom to change into sweats and a t-shirt, and joined Hope and Hayley in the living room, both of them clad in pajamas. He let Hayley pick a movie as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close while Hope nestled into her side. Hayley flicked through Netflix before finally settling on ‘The Holiday’, and Elijah pressed a kiss to her hair as he relaxed while the movie began. 

“Aww,” Hope cooed when the movie was over while Elijah and Hayley shared a quick kiss when she wasn’t looking at them. They’d cuddled during the entire movie, occasionally sneaking a kiss, and trying very hard not to get too lost in it which meant less touching.

Hayley stood up and pulled her daughter up along with her, “okay, Little Miss, let’s get you to bed. Say goodnight to Uncle Elijah and go brush your teeth,” she said softly, gently nudging her daughter.

“Goodnight, Uncle Elijah,” Hope said sweetly, coming over to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek that brought tears to his eyes. He hugged her lightly.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep well.”

“You, too,” she beamed and went to her mother, taking Hayley’s hand before the two of them went to the bathroom.

* * *

After pressing another kiss to Hope’s forehead and straightening the blanket she’d thrown over her, Hayley tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door open a crack. She found Elijah in the living room, sitting on the couch, two mugs of tea on the coffee table. He looked exhausted, though it wasn’t the kind of exhaustion that came with a full shift at the hospital. No, this was more like mental, or emotional exhaustion as opposed to the physical kind. She leaned against the living room doorway and laced her hands together.

“She’s asleep,” she finally said, her voice a quiet whisper. Elijah looked up, and met her gaze, his dark brown eyes locking with hers briefly.

“I made tea,” he said with a shrug. When she opened her mouth to protest, to remind him of his hand, he just rolled his eyes. “Hayley, I do still have a functioning hand, you know. It might not be my dominant one, but I did manage to make tea without burning my hand,” he told her pointedly.

She chuckled, “thank you. I’m proud of you,” she winked. Slowly, she made her way over to him, “you okay?” she asked softly when she sat down beside him, turning her head to look at him

Elijah sighed, “I’m…” he paused and swallowed thickly, “I’m better now that you’re here,” he said, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re such a sap,” she quipped, chuckling lightly, and he did, too, as she cuddled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder, reaching for his uninjured hand and lacing their fingers together. Elijah sighed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, his scruff scratching her skin lightly, and she smiled, relaxing. When he pulled away, he rested his cheek against her forehead while he stared off into space. Hayley tilted her head slightly to look at him. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Elijah sighed heavily, and for a minute there she thought he might say no, that he wasn’t ready yet, but instead he nodded slowly. “I know,” he started to say, and paused, gulping, before he continued, “I know there’s something we need to talk about. And, I know I wasn’t ready before,” he said, and paused again, ducking his head and taking a deep breath. Hayley just squeezed his hand as she switched positions slightly, tucking one leg underneath her and turning so she was facing him. “But, if it’s okay with you, I’m ready now,” he said, his voice low, and lifted his head to look at her.

Her expression softened, “of course it’s okay. You know I’m here, ready to listen, to talk, to be there for you… to hold you. I’m here, Elijah. Whenever you’re ready, whenever you need me,” she said, her voice a husky whisper.

He nodded, “I know. Thank you.”

Silence settled between them, and Hayley wondered if she should say anything, her thoughts racing while Elijah bowed his head. When several minutes passed and Elijah didn’t say anything, she cleared her throat. “Why?” she finally asked, and Elijah immediately snapped his gaze over to hers, his brown eyes locking with hers once more. “Why did you say it’s your fault?” whispered, her voice husky.

Elijah pursed his lips, but she could still see them quivering, and he sniffled, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Because it is,” he finally said, his voice almost breaking. “I should have picked him up, I should have been there, and I wasn’t. I broke my promise to him, to Katherine… I let him down,” he said, his voice trembling.

Hayley sighed, her shoulders slumping, “Elijah,” she said softly, her voice a breathless whisper, “that’s not-” she paused and shook her head, “that’s not true. It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t even in the car-” she argued, but he cut her off.

“But, I’m the reason he was in that car!” he snapped, choking back a sob, and she froze. So, that’s what it was about. The fact that Katherine had picked Jonathan up because Elijah had been too drunk to remember he was picking him up. _Of course_.

“Oh,” she muttered. “Oh, Elijah,” she whispered, shaking her head vehemently, “no, Elijah, no, that still doesn’t make it your fault-” she said, but he cut her off again.

“How? How is it not my fault? I was supposed to pick him up- I was- I was supposed to be there for him, I- I promised him. I promised him I would, and I- whether I was involved in that accident or not, whether it was an accident or not… he’s _dead_ because of me. Because I got drunk and forgot about him,” he shook his head, almost in disbelief, like he was still trying to understand how that happened. “Katherine was right,” he added, sniffling, and Hayley shook her head.

“No, that’s not true, she wasn’t-” she said, but Elijah just shook his head.

“Please don’t… don’t…” he paused, turning his head slightly towards her. “I should have been there, and I wasn’t. I let him down. And, now he’s _dead_ ,” he said, his voice trembling, and a few tears spilled over his cheeks, but he didn’t move to wipe them away. He sniffled, “and, it’s my fault. I can’t forgive myself. And, neither should anyone else,” he added, and his voice broke as he lost all composure.. More tears fell down his cheeks as he hung his head, and Hayley’s heart broke. And then, she couldn’t take it anymore. She moved closer to him and took him into her arms, wrapping her arms around his body, pulling him to her. At first, Elijah didn’t move, but then he wrapped his own arms around her, and clung to her almost like a child, burying his face in the crook of her neck, his tears spilling onto her skin, but she didn’t care and only held him tightly. As much as she wanted to talk about it, about what he was thinking, if this was what Elijah needed, she was ready to give it to him.

“Shh,” she whispered as she rubbed his back soothingly, “shh, Elijah. It’s okay. Just- just let it out,” she whispered, still rubbing his back, still holding him as close as she could. “It’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay,” she whispered. “Just let it out. I’m here. I’m not leaving you. Just let it out, baby,” she whispered, and held him as he broke down completely.

“It was my fault, it was all my fault,” he kept muttering against her skin, his voice muffled, but she could still make out his words and her heart broke for him. 

Eventually, Elijah’s sobs subsided and he calmed down, his body slumping against hers, and she felt his head on her shoulder. She reached to brush some hair away from his forehead, and tilted her head slightly to brush her lips against it, and felt Elijah shudder slightly as he exhaled.

“F- forgive me,” he muttered against her skin, his voice a low whisper.

“Shh, you have nothing to apologize for,” she said softly, turning slightly towards him and reaching to cup his cheeks. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Do you hear me? Nothing,” she said softly, enunciating the word.

“I’m sorry, Hayley, I’m just- I’m such a mess,” he mumbled, his voice shaking, “and, you-” he paused and sniffled, “you deserve better…” he trailed off, choking on a sob, and bowed his head.

Hayley sniffled, and shook her head, “no,” she said softly, and paused, taking a deep breath. “I- I don’t want better,” she finally said, and he looked up, surprise written all over his face. “I don’t want better, Elijah. I don’t want some hypothetical, perfect guy. I want you. You’re a good man, the best man I know, and I love you,” she said, and felt a tear spill down her cheek, and she sniffled. “I want you,” she repeated, her voice a husky, breathless whisper. “I want messy. And, real. And I want it with you. I want it all with you,” she whispered, and Elijah’s eyes filled with tears.

Elijah hesitated, “I just-” he shook his head, and paused, “I just can’t forgive myself,” he admitted, his voice trembling with emotion. 

“Hey,” she whispered, her thumbs rubbing his cheeks gently, “nobody blames you, Elijah,” she said softly, shaking her head. “But, more than anything, you have to forgive yourself,” she added, her voice a barely audible whisper.

Another tear spilled over Elijah’s cheek, “why?” he finally said, asked, his voice small, his lip quivering.

Hayley sighed, her shoulders slumping, and hesitated before answering. She was at a loss for words. _What was she supposed to say to him?_ She took a deep breath, “because I think you’re worthy,” she finally said, and Elijah’s gaze snapped over to hers. “Elijah, you are a good man, and you are worthy of forgiveness,” she said softly and sniffled, tears prickling at her eyes. “You are worthy of forgiveness. Yes, a horrible thing happened, you lost your son, you lost Jonathan and I know you feel guilty, I know you feel like it’s your fault, but it’s not. What happened to Jonathan,” she paused, and licked her lips, “it was not your fault. It was an accident. And, you need to accept that and forgive yourself. Because you are worthy of forgiveness. You are good enough to be forgiven,” she said softly, and more tears spilled down Elijah’s cheeks. “You are good,” she added in a breathless whisper.

“I love you, Hayley,” he whispered, lifting his uninjured hand to cup the side of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. Their lips met halfway, and his lips were salty and wet from tears, but Hayley didn’t care as her hands slid around his neck and she deepened the kiss while moving closer to Elijah, pressing herself closer to him as he rested his injured hand on her lower back, pulling her close. The kiss was soft and slow, filled with comfort and reassurance that words could never say, all the emotions that were suddenly brought to the surface. Their lips molded with each other, tongues tangled together, and Elijah’s hand slid to the back of her neck while his injured hand pulled her closer as she threaded her fingers through his hair. The kiss grew more intense, filled with passion and emotion, their lips more urging and desperate against each other, tongues dueling each other, dancing to an all-too familiar rhythm as Hayley pushed Elijah back onto the couch before climbing on top of him, straddling him, and he pulled her on top of him, not breaking the kiss, their breaths mingling together. Finally, when air became a necessity, they broke the kiss, though, Hayley didn’t entirely pull away, and rubbed her nose against Elijah’s.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled before yawning, causing her to chuckle, amused.

“Let’s go to bed,” she suggested, standing up and holding her hand out to him. Elijah hesitated, and she furrowed her brow, “what is it, baby?” she asked softly.

He looked away, averting his gaze, “I just-” he hesitated, still not looking up at her, and Hayley sighed.

Her expression softened, “baby,” she said softly, crouching down so she was at eye level with him, and reached to cup his cheek, forcing him to look at her, “look at me,” she whispered. Finally, he met her gaze, and she rubbed his cheek gently. “We don’t have to do anything,” she said softly, her voice a low whisper. “Sex probably wouldn’t be a good idea with Hope sleeping in the other room,” she pointed out, though that was mostly for his benefit. She doubted people didn’t have sex with their other kid sleeping in the other room, and she didn’t really have an issue with it, but considering Elijah’s emotional state, she was giving him an out. It occurred to her that Klaus and Cami probably did it when Hope was over, but she shook her head, pushing the thought away. “We can just sleep,” she said instead, and finally Elijah nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice trembling with guilt, “I just- I don’t have the energy, Hayley-” he started to explain, but she moved her finger to his lips, effectively shushing him. 

“Don’t apologize,” she whispered. “It’s okay, Elijah, I understand.”

“Okay,” he nodded, and stood along with her.

They put away the cups of tea and together, they went to her bedroom, and changed out of their clothes before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed. They brushed their teeth in sync, Hayley finishing right after Elijah, and she joined him in bed. She slid under the covers, and scooted closer to him, and Elijah reached for her, pulling her closer with one arm. 

“What is it?” she asked softly, reaching to cup his cheek, fondling it gently.

“Can you… can you please just hold me?” he whispered, and she sighed.

Her expression softened as she caressed his cheek gently, “yeah,” she whispered, “of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he mumbled, and pulled her closer, and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer, her hand cupping the back of his head, cradling it gently.

“I love you,” she repeated and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of his head.

“Love you, too,” he sighed quietly, and soon enough she heard him start to snore quietly. It was honestly adorable.

* * *

The next morning, Elijah awoke to small hands tugging at him, pulling on his arms, and he slowly opened his eyes to find his niece practically climbing onto the bed, her red hair hanging over her shoulders, slightly tangled, and she was still wearing her pajamas from the night before. He groaned, and attempted to move, but he didn’t realize that he was trying to move his right hand, and pain shot through his arm when he accidentally hit it on the headboard, and he almost howled in pain, but a small hand covered his mouth, muffling the sound.

“Shh!” came the voice of the child standing by the bed. “You’ll wake up mom,” she whisper-yelled, and he turned to find Hayley still asleep beside him, her head nestled against his back, one arm draped over his waist, her feet tangled with his.

“Uh, Hope,” he groaned and reached with his uninjured hand to rub at his eyes, trying to blink sleep away.

“I know you’re awake, Uncle Elijah,” she said, scrunching her face slightly. “C’mon will you please get up?” she said in a soft, pleading voice, and pouted slightly. Elijah sighed and put his face in his pillow. _“C’mon, daddy! Daddy, wake up! Daddy please wake up!”_ He could practically hear Jonathan yelling as he climbed on top of him in bed, prying his eyelids open with his small fingers. Elijah would cuddle with him before finally getting up, taking Jonathan with him to the kitchen. Katherine would either be getting a few more uninterrupted hours of sleep or be at work.

“Uncle Elijah, wake up!” Hope exclaimed in a hushed whisper and he groaned, rubbing at his eyes again before finally stretching slightly and getting out of bed. Hope grinned triumphantly, but he just slowly made his way to the bathroom. “Uncle Elijah?”

“Yeah?” he said gruffly, looking over at her.

“What are you doing? Can we go make breakfast? I’m hungry?” she asked, looking up at him with those, big blue eyes and pouted.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “just, uh, just give me a minute,” he grumbled. When Hope didn’t move from her spot, he shook his head, “Hope, just go to the living room and wait there. I need a minute,” he snapped, though he kept his voice low, and Hope immediately nodded before turning and leaving. Elijah glanced over at the bed again, and Hayley was still fast asleep, so he went to the bathroom, and relieved himself before taking a quick shower, washing his face and brushing his teeth. But, when he was done, he didn’t get out straightaway, and instead leaned against the door, taking several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Finally, once he had better control of his breathing, he got out and went to the living room, where he found Hope coloring.

“Hey,” he said, flashing her a quick smile, but she kept coloring. “Ready for breakfast?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. If you say I have to, I guess so,” she said, sounding upset, and continued to color.

Elijah stepped closer to her, “Hope? Is everything okay? You were the one trying so hard to get me out of bed. What is it?”

She just sighed and shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know,” she said in a small voice.

“Hope, come on, you know you can tell me,” he said gently, but she didn’t turn to face him, and for the life of him Elijah couldn’t figure out why she was acting this way. “Hey, sweetheart, whatever is bothering you, you can just tell me,” he added in a gentle voice.

Finally she turned to him, and he could see her eyes shining with tears, “are you mad at me, Uncle Elijah?” she asked in a small voice. “Cause you seemed mad I got you out of bed, and I’m sorry, but I just wanted to spend some time with you and make breakfast while mom slept.” Elijah felt like kicking himself. _God, how could he be such an idiot?_ He was just making everything worse no matter how much he tried to fix it, and now Hope was upset and thought it was her fault. But, it wasn’t her fault. And, he had to fix it.

“Hope, that isn’t true,” he said softly, then paused. “Well, not entirely true,” he added. When she seemed confused, he gestured to the table, “may I sit?” She nodded, so he took a seat and shifted his chair so he was facing her. Hope stopped coloring and focused on him. Elijah took a deep breath, bracing himself. “I, uh, I need to tell you something,” he finally said. “You remember when I told you about Jonathan, right?” he finally said, his voice thick with emotion.

She nodded somberly, “your little boy who died in that accident?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, his voice hoarse, in near-tears. “I don’t know if you noticed this Hope, but there is a reason I haven’t stayed the night with you and your mom until now,” he said after a few more seconds of silence. Hope’s eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t say anything. “And, I need you to know that it’s not about you, Hope. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with you,” he told her firmly. “You know I love you and that you’re part of this family. My family. But, I… I feel like I’m replacing him by letting another kid in. And, it took me a while to accept that I’m not. And, I’m not fully okay with it, but I know that letting another kid, letting you in doesn’t mean I’m replacing J. Or, betraying him. But, it really felt that way for a really long time,” he admitted, and felt his throat close up. He paused and swallowed back tears. “I know it might be hard to understand, and that it’s a little complicated,” he half-chuckled, “but, I need you to understand that it has nothing to do with you. That this is about me, and that as much as I’m trying to move on, I can’t always do it. Sometimes it’s hard. Like this morning. Because this morning really reminded me of when J used to be alive and he used to come into our bed and wake me up so we could go make pancakes,” he said, and swallowed thickly as he felt like he was about to cry. He rubbed at his eyes again, but this time, he ended up wiping away tears as well, and a few spilled over his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly, “I’m sorry,” he muttered guiltily.

What happened next shocked him as Hope jumped down from the chair and climbed onto his lap, throwing her arms around him. For a second, he sat there, but then he returned the hug, wrapping his own arms around her and pressing her small body to him, holding her tightly. It occurred to him that he hadn’t hugged a child, that he hadn’t held a child for a long time after Jonathan died and before Hope. Hope was actually the first one. The thought was both painful and touching.

After a while, Hope pulled away and looked at him, “you okay, Uncle Elijah?” He nodded and swallowed back tears.

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely. They sat like that for a few more seconds before Elijah finally found the strength to speak. “Why don’t we go and make breakfast?” he suggested. “How does pancakes sound?”

“Are you sure, Uncle Elijah? Because we can have French toast or omelet?” she asked, and Elijah’s heart broke at how Hope was trying to make him feel better when he was the one causing so many issues.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he said nodding. “Pancakes are for everyone. Besides, we should start our own traditions,” he added, and she grinned. She hugged him again briefly before jumping out of his lap, and he stood up, too. The two of them went to the kitchen together, Hope’s coloring long forgotten. “You want to help me?” he suggested as he began pulling out various things.

Hope beamed, “yes!” and jumped up to help him, telling him where various things were before climbing onto the counter to help him with the batter.

This was how Hayley found them, Hope, covered in flour, perched on the counter beside him as he flipped pancakes. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, and he relaxed as pressed herself against him, reaching to peck his cheek lightly.

“Hey, you,” she said softly, and he smiled.

“Hey,” he replied, and turned to press a kiss to her hair. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you. Did you?” He nodded, and she nuzzled his cheek. “You okay?” she asked after a while, fondling his cheek gently.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his voice wavering slightly with emotion.

Hayley wasn’t convinced, “really? Did Hope wake you, I’m sorry-” she started, but he cut her off.

“She did, but it’s fine. I mean, I might not have reacted the best way, but we talked about it. I told her what was going on. We’re fine now,” he told her in a low whisper.

Hayley glanced over at Hope who was whisking the batter, “I can see that,” she said, laughing in amusement. “You need any help?”

He shook his head, “no, I’m good. Why don’t you girls set the table?” Hayley flashed him a smile before going over to hope, picking up the seven-year-old from the counter and setting her on the floor.

“C’mon, sweetie. Let’s go set the table,” she said and the two of them quickly set the table, and Hayley made two cups of coffee as he finished the pancakes. Once the pancakes were done, Hayley took them back to the table, not even stopping to argue with him about it. Elijah just rolled his eyes and grabbed some juice for Hope and the maple syrup and fruits he’s set aside earlier.

“Yum! Uncle Elijah this is so good!” Hope exclaimed in delight as she cut into her stack of pancakes.

“Well, I did have some help,” he quipped, winking at her. Hope giggled and Hayley smiled, too, and he returned the smile. It was such a normal morning, and as much as he was enjoying this, the domesticity of it, spending time with Hayley and Hope, it also filled him with sadness. But, he shook his head, and pushed it away, trying to enjoy the morning.

* * *

The weekend with Hayley and Hope went well, and they ended up spending the entire weekend together, although they had dinner with Niklaus and Camille Saturday night, and went over to Rebekah’s on Sunday for brunch. Monday, he dropped Hayley first at the hospital for rounds before dropping his niece off at school, and driving back to the hospital.

He was in the reception area on his way to his office when he was stopped by a brunette teenage girl wearing jeans, a t-shirt and an Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie.

“Excuse me? Are you Dr. Elijah Mikaelson?” she asked politely with a thick Slavic accent.

“Yeah. Do you need medical assistance? Are you here for someone? The E.R. is that way,” he said pointing to the E.R., “or I can ask the nurses to find who you’re looking for.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Um,” she paused and bit her lip, “I’m not looking for someone. My name is Nadia Petrova,” she finally said. “I’m your daughter.”


	35. You'll Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the last chapter. Hayley helps Rebekah through a difficult situation, and finds out about Nadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am again! New chapter is up! And, I am sad to say we are reaching the end of this beautiful story... Hope you enjoy!  
> Trigger warning! This chapter includes a depiction of miscarriage, I wasn't sure whether I should change the ratings, but thought I should at least give a heads up! Guess that spoils the difficult situation... better safe than sorry!  
> xx

Shock. That was the only thing he was aware of. That was the only thing he knew. He was in shock. Elijah blinked several times, and opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out, so he closed it.

The girl – Nadia – because he didn’t quite believe what she’d said, and he wasn’t about to call her his daughter, cleared her throat awkwardly and licked her lips. “I, uh,” she paused, “I said I’m your-” she started, but he cut her off, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I heard you,” he muttered quietly. “But, I- it’s just not possible,” he finally said, his own voice shaking as he stared at the teenage girl. She didn’t seem much older than Henrik, her dark brown hair hanging in soft waves down her shoulders, tucked behind her ears, and her dark brown eyes were focused on him. “It’s not- there’s just no way,” he added shakily, and took a step back.

“It is. I’m fourteen. You met my mother in university, your first year, and you-”she stammered, and he could hear the anxiety in her voice despite how brave she was trying to sound. But, she was only reconfirming that Katherine was her mother. He’d known that when she’d introduced herself, but part of him had wanted to ignore that part, or deny it.

“We met in our first year, but only started dating in our second. Like I said, Nadia, you’re mistaken,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not your father,” he added. He knew it was possibly cruel, but he couldn’t bear to even consider it being true. Because if Nadia was telling the truth, then the past fourteen years had been a lie. And, the mere thought made him breathless and his heart race.

Nadia opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by none other than Katherine, stalking towards them.

“Nadia, what are you doing?” she asked, coming to stand beside the teenager, and seeing them standing like that next to each other made it obvious. The wavy brown hair, the wide eyes,even the curve of her mouth, Nadia looked exactly like Katherine. Elijah felt like he couldn’t breathe, and he took another deep breath. Katherine looked between him and the teenager, and realization dawned on her face. “You told him?”

“Of course I did-” Nadia said, rolling her eyes, but Katherine cut her off.

“Nadia, that was none of your business-” she said, and despite the obvious anger, she sounded calm.

“Really? Because I heard you and Aunt Elena talking about it the night before. Besides, this does concern me, doesn’t it, mother? Considering all this fuss is about him being my father,” she retorted, rolling her eyes, and gesturing at him with her head.

“First of all, I’ll have you use a more respectful tone, Nadia. And, secondly, you know you shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Katherine scolded, but Nadia didn’t seem to care. Elijah had to fight the urge to roll his eyes, she was being such a typical teenager. Katherine opened her mouth to continue, but he cut her off.

“And, thirdly, you should really let your mother and I talk about this,” he said pointedly, giving her a stern look before turning to look at Katherine.

Katherine nodded, and turned to Nadia once again, “why don’t you go find your aunt?” she suggested, though it was more of a demand. “And, for the record, shouldn’t you be in school?” she asked as Nadia stepped away from both of them, causing the teenager to turn to them again.

“It’s Teacher Day, you know that, mother,” she said with an eyeroll before turning on her heel. “Or, at least you would if you paid more attention,” she added more quietly, and he noticed Katherine flinch. And then, she was gone.

Katherine turned to him “Elijah-” she started, but he shook his head.

“Not here,” he muttered, and turned to go in search of an empty conference room. Luckily, there was one on that floor, and he gestured for Katherine to enter, following after her. He shut the door behind him and closed the shutters. But, he didn’t turn to face his ex-wife once again, and instead stood there, his breath coming in short gasps, and he braced himself against the door, trying to regain control of his breathing while Katherine paced behind him. Finally, once he no longer felt like his lungs were on fire, he turned to face Katherine.

Katherine opened her mouth, “Elijah, I-” she started to say, but he cut her off.

“You can explain?” he quipped, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “I’m not sure anything you manage to come up with can actually explain this, Katherine,” he said in a cold tone. “I mean,” he paused and rested one hand on his hips, “did you even stop to think how this might affect other people?” he yelled, scowling at her. “No, of course you didn’t,” he shook his head, “because the only one you ever actually think of is yourself!” he snapped.

“That isn’t true, Elijah, and you know it. This is just- this is really complicated, and I just-” she started, but he cut her off again.

“Complicated? Really, how?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t really see how this could be complicated. What I do want to know is how it happened, because unless you forgot, we have one child. Had,” he said, his voice almost breaking on the last part. He shook his head in disbelief, “I truly don’t see how this is complicated. So, how did this happen, Katherine?” he demanded, glaring at his ex-wife.

Katherine sighed, “it was, uh, it was our first year of uni. That first time we slept together,” she said, and Elijah’s mind spun. He couldn’t believe it. It just wasn’t possible. There was just no way that he and Katherine had another child. And, that child was here. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like his lungs were on fire, and he braced himself against the door.

“That’s just- no, it’s not…” he trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief. Katherine reached for him, but he pulled away like he’d been burned. “No, don’t!” he hissed, glaring at her. “You don’t get to touch me.”

“Look, Elijah, I understand that you’re shocked, and confused, and-” she rambled, but he couldn’t listen to her, couldn’t hear her excuses, so he cut her off again.

“Is she even mine?” he asked, his voice low.

“Of course she’s yours why would you-” she started, an edge of hysteria in her voice, but he didn’t let her finish.

“I think we both know why I might think otherwise,” he remarked sarcastically. “So, I’m going to ask again. Is. She. Mine?” he demanded, enunciating every word.

“Elijah, what are you saying?” she asked, stepping closer, but he took another step back, edging away from her.

“Well, forgive me, Katherine, but considering how good you are at lying, and the fact that you cheated on me for almost a year of our marriage, I wouldn’t be surprised. So, is she mine?” When Katherine didn’t say anything and merely swallowed, he continued, “well, I want to know. I want a paternity test,” he told her, his voice cold, devoid of emotion, though inside he felt like he was dying, like he couldn’t breathe. It just wasn’t possible, he needed to prepare himself for that, for the disappointment that would inevitably follow, and he couldn’t bear it. He was barely standing as it was, his hands shaking, his heart hammering in his chest. He turned to the door, but Katherine stopped him again.

“Elijah, I-” she started to say, but he didn’t give her the chance.

“I want a paternity test,” he said before unlocking the door to the conference room, and taking off, leaving his ex-wife behind. But, he couldn’t care less about her.

After changing into his scrubs, he went to look for Hayley, and found her walking down the hallway, and quickened his pace to catch up to her, but hesitated before reaching for her. He didn’t think he could take her flinching, or jumping again, but somehow his girlfriend noticed him, and turned to him.

“Hey, you,” she said softly, her lips curving into a smile.

“H- hey,” he gasped, his voice hoarse, and Hayley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Are you okay?” she asked, half-amused, half-concerned as she reached to cup his cheek, her thumb caressing his jaw.

He swallowed thickly, “y- yeah,” he said, but he didn’t sound sure, and Hayley raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m fine. I promise. I just-” he paused and swallowed, “I just had a rather unpleasant encounter with my ex-wife,” he admitted, though he didn’t tell her just what the encounter entailed, or the fact that there was a possibility he had fathered another child fifteen years ago. He would tell her, but not right now. Right now, he needed a distraction. So, he wrapped an arm around Hayley’s waist and pulled her close.

Hayley pulled away slightly, and Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat. “She didn’t kiss you again, did she?” she quipped, and despite how light and unbothered she tried to sound, he could hear the doubt in her voice, could see the flicker of fear in her eyes.

“Of course not,” he told her firmly, though his voice was gentle. “Katherine was just being Katherine,” he rolled his eyes, “and, now I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow, “what do you want to talk about?”

He smirked, “who said we have to talk,” he quipped, and Hayley giggled before grasping him by the lapels of his lab coat and pulling him towards the nearest on-call room. Which, luckily for them, was free.

The moment Hayley locked the door, Elijah turned them around and pressed her against the wall, and she let out a breathless gasp as she reached for him, pushing off his coat as he sank his fingers in her hair. And then, his lips were on hers, moving slowly and gently at first, but Hayley soon deepened the kiss, her lips urging and demanding against his as her hands drifted to the hem of his scrub shirt. Clumsily, he pushed off her lab coat, breaking the kiss briefly so she could pull off his scrub top, his army tags dangling from his neck, and he did the same to her. And then, their bodies were pressed against each other again, and their lips met halfway, their tongues tangling together as he pulled her towards the bed, gently laying her on it. He broke the kiss as Hayley grasped him by his army tags, and he gulped as she pulled him on top of her by his army tags which he found incredibly sexy. Then, his lips were on hers once more, warm and yielding, and Hayley deepened the kiss as she fumbled with his scrub pants, pushing them off along with his boxers while he clumsily attempted to do the same with his injured hand.

“Ow. Fuck,” he gasped, panting as he pulled away slightly, and felt himself flush while Hayley giggled.

“You’re an idiot,” she quipped, amused, before pushing off her own scrub pants and panties, and reaching for him again, her hands wrapping around his neck as their lips crashed together, tongues tangling together. He rolled on top of her, and sank his fingers in her tresses as her hands drifted down his back as he pushed into her, and she let out a moan, her eyelids fluttering closed as her back arched, her nails digging into his back as he began to thrust. And, Elijah let himself get lost in her, in the feel of her lips against his, in her warmth, in the electricity pulsing as their skin touched, and all he thought and felt was Hayley.

* * *

After two rounds in the on-call room, Hayley positioned herself in Elijah’s arms, nestling into his side, resting her head on his chest, his arm wrapped around her body, holding her close, his uninjured hand on her hips as he traced lazy circles on her skin while she traced the engraving on his army tags with her thumb. Elijah pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and she smiled, her body relaxing as her eyes fluttered shut briefly before she opened them, and tilted her head to look at him.

“I love you, Elijah,” she whispered softly, and he smiled, his eyes filled with warmth.

“I love you, too, Hayley,” he whispered hoarsely before leaning down and capturing her lips with his own.

They stayed that for a few more minutes, and Hayley would have loved to stay there longer, but Elijah’s pager beeped. He fumbled to reach for it, and cursed when he accidentally braced himself on his injured hand, so she shifted slightly to allow him to get it.

“Incoming?” she glanced over at him, waiting for her own pager to go off, but he shook his head. Well, that made sense. Besides, the nurses knew not to page Elijah for a trauma since he couldn’t actually do surgery unless they just needed him to look at scans.

“Just a consult in the E.R.,” he said with a sigh.

“Yeah, I should probably go, too,” she muttered, scrambling off him and starting to pull on her scrubs as Elijah clumsily put on his, and she watched him amused as tried to do it all mostly one-handed. “Baby, you sure you don’t need any help?” she asked him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“I’m fine, Hayley,” he replied, rolling his eyes. She knew it irritated him, and that he had the annoying tendency to do everything on his own and never ask for help, but that didn’t meant that she didn’t try every time.

“Okay, whatever you say,” she mused, chuckling in amusement. “Well, I’m going to go. We might be dating, but we don’t need the entire hospital to gossip about our sex life,” she said, and Elijah nodded, stepping over his scrub top to press a kiss against her lips, which she happily returned, smiling into the kiss. “See you later?”

He smiled, “yes. I’ll see you later. Love you,” he said softly as he rubbed her chin with his thumb.

“Love you, too,” she grinned. They shared one more quick kiss, unable to get enough of each other, before she finally left the on-call room. She didn’t really have anywhere to be, except the E.R., but she wasn’t exactly wanted there either considering Katherine had kicked her off her service and Jo wasn’t particularly happy with her either, so she walked the hallways aimlessly.

“Well, long time no see, Dr. Marshall!” somebody exclaimed behind her. No, not someone. Rebekah. Hayley turned around to face the blonde, who stood there, looking professional as always, wearing a leather maroon pencil skirt with a matching maroon blouse and Manolo Blahnik’s, a trench coat slung over her arm along with a black Givenchy bag, her blonde hair hanging down her shoulders in waves.

“Rebekah,” Hayley said by way of greeting, “you saw me yesterday.”

“I know,” Rebekah smirked. “Well, hi, anyways. Come give me a hug,” she said, stepping closer and wrapping Hayley in a hug that Hayley returned gladly, squeezing her lightly.

“Hey,” she said as they exchanged cheek kisses. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” the blonde shrugged, “busy. I was just going to a meeting with Vincent. You? What’s Katherine’s punishment for the so-called attitude you gave her Friday?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Not, that you should be punished because Katherine totally deserved it, but…” she trailed off with a shrug.

“Well, right now it’s just not paging me. At least she was kind enough to let me stay in the E.R.,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. Knowing Katherine, it wasn’t really out of kindness, and probably just another way for the other woman to torture her, but Hayley did appreciate it.

“Sorry, love, but I doubt it was out of the goodness of her heart. Either Elijah or Jo spoke to her,” Rebekah told her matter-of-factly.

“Yeah,” Hayley shrugged. Rebekah was most likely right, but Hayley wasn’t entirely sure if she liked Elijah just dealing with this without talking to her beforehand. But, considering she bit Katherine’s head off because she kissed Elijah, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. “So, you up for coffee?” Rebekah suggested.

Hayley snorted, “Bekah, I’m a surgeon. I’m always up for coffee,” she said, taking another step and turning to go towards the coffee shop, but then she noticed something. Blood trickling down Rebekah’s legs. “Uh, Bekah did you cut yourself somehow?” she wondered, though there was a nervous pit in her stomach.

“What?” Rebekah blinked in confusion.

“Y- you’re bleeding,” she said quietly. “Did you, uh, did you cut yourself shaving?” she whispered, nodding with her head slightly, trying to discretely point Rebekah to what was happening.

Finally, Rebekah seemed to understand what she was saying, and she glanced down, and let out a horrified gasp. When she looked up at Hayley once again, her eyes were filled with tears.

“I- no, that’s not- no, I didn’t cut myself,” she said, her voice trembling, and Hayley noticed her lower lip was quivering. She swallowed thickly, and Hayley’s stomach tightened. “I’m pregnant, and I think I’m having a miscarriage,” she finally said, and a tear spilled down her cheek. Hayley gasped, and immediately reached for Rebekah, who looked like she was barely holding back tears.

“Rebekah…” she whispered as she pulled the other woman to her, squeezing her arm gently. “C’mon, let me take you to an exam room,” she said quietly, and gently steered Rebekah to the nearest empty one, shutting the door behind her. “It’s probably best we confirm that y- we need to confirm, Rebekah,” she said softly in her best doctor voice, and Rebekah nodded as she fumbled with her skirt, her purse and coat falling to the floor. Hayley quickly grabbed them and put them on the nearby chair. Rebekah was shaking, her lip quivering, tears threatening to fall as she continued to fumble with her skirt while kicking off her shoes.

“I just- damn it, this bloody skirt is so tight and I just need to get out of it,” the blonde mumbled, an edge of hysteria in her voice. It wasn’t really necessary, but Hayley understood why Rebekah might feel trapped by it.

She sighed sadly and moved closer to the blonde, “here, let me help you,” she said softly, and Rebekah stopped moving, her hands dropping to the side. Slowly, Hayley unzipped the skirt, and it fell down, pooling around Rebekah’s feet. “Okay, come on, let’s get you on the exam table,” she said as she gently pulled Rebekah to the exam table and helped her get on.

“Thank you,” Rebekah muttered weakly. Hayley just nodded, and grabbed a tissue, handing it to Rebekah to cover herself.

“I suppose you’ll want to do an ultrasound?” Rebekah asked, though it sounded more like a statement, like she knew that was what was going to happen and was preparing herself for it.

Hayley nodded, “yeah. I- it’s best to confirm in these… types of situations,” she stumbled over her words, but Rebekah just nodded numbly. “I know it’s difficult, but we have to be sure.” Rebekah just nodded. “And, I won’t be doing it. I’m going to get someone from OB to do it,” she said, reaching to rub Rebekah’s shoulder gently.

“I’m sure you’re more than capable to do it,” Rebekah remarked, her voice devoid of emotion, and Hayley’s heart broke for her.

“I- Rebekah, you really don’t want a trauma surgeon confirming that… you might- that you might be having a miscarriage,” she said softly, still unable to quite say the words. Rebekah just nodded. “I will be right back, okay?” she said softly, and again Rebekah just nodded. With a heavy sigh, Hayley turned and left to go find Eve, one of the OB/GYNs, and the one who wasn’t related to Rebekah. [She was Aiden’s sister, though, which had been a little surprising, but apparently the two siblings hadn’t spoken in a while until Eve showed up at the hospital. They seemed to get along though, and Hayley was glad Aiden had family. For the longest time, Jackson had been like his brother, but things changed when Aiden left. Or, rather, Aiden left _because_ things changed]. And, luckily for her, Eve was just walking by.

“Eve!” she called out, and the other woman turned to her, smiling upon seeing her.

“Oh, hey, you,” she said by way of greeting and stepped closer. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Hayley said breathlessly. “So, I, uh, I need you for a consult,” she said, and bit her lip nervously.

“Okay?”

“I, uh, I- I need you to confirm a miscarriage,” she whispered quietly, and the other doctor nodded somberly.

“Is the patient bleeding?” Eve asked quietly.

“Yeah, there is quite a bit of vaginal bleeding,” she said, her voice cold, clinical. Eve nodded. “But, I just need you to confirm, please, and be discreet,” she added in a low voice.

Eve looked confused, and furrowed her brow, “what do you need me for? If there’s a lot of vaginal bleeding, I’m afraid there’s not much to confirm,” she said softly, but Hayley shook her head vehemently.

“No, I need an OB to confirm and it can’t be Freya. This now falls under HIPPA, Eve,” she whispered, giving the other doctor a pointed look, and swallowed back tears. “It- the patient… it’s Rebekah Mikaelson,” she admitted, and Eve’s eyes widened. “And, I- I can’t be the one to confirm it. So, I need you to do it,” she said sadly. Eve just nodded.

“Okay. Is she in there?” she asked, gesturing to the exam room with her head.

Hayley nodded, “yeah. Follow me,” she said, and led Eve inside, locking the door behind them. Rebekah just lay there, her expression numb, though Hayley could see that she was barely holding back tears.

“Hello, Rebekah,” Eve said softly. “I’m Dr. Eve Lovett and I’m an OB/GYN,” she said introducing herself.

“Hi,” Rebekah muttered.

“I’m just going to do a quick exam to confirm,” Eve explained. “Just to be sure,” she said somberly. Rebekah just nodded, so Hayley helped Eve prep her, and Eve pulled a stool and the ultrasound machine up to the exam table. Hayley went to stand beside Rebekah, reaching to take her hand, squeezing it gently as Eve grabbed the gel. “This may feel a little cold,” she said, and Rebekah inhaled, bracing herself as Eve squirted some gel on the blonde’s lower abdomen before grabbing the ultrasound wand, sliding it over Rebekah’s abdomen. And, even though Hayley knew, and Rebekah knew, and Eve knew, the silence was still deafening. Eve turned to Rebekah sadly, “I am so sorry, Rebekah, there is no… heartbeat,” she admitted. “You’re having a miscarriage. I am really sorry for your loss,” she said sadly, and Rebekah’s face crumpled, tears spilling down her cheeks as she gasped, choking on a sob.

“Oh, Rebekah…” Hayley muttered, “I am so sorry.” Rebekah just nodded as tears streamed down her face, and Hayley’s heart ached for her. But, there was nothing she could really do right now except hold her hand. Because, even if she wanted to go get Marcel, she wasn’t about to leave Rebekah right now. Not as Rebekah sobbed, putting her face in her hand, curling herself on the exam table as Eve pushed the ultrasound away and wiped the gel off quietly.

Rebekah sniffled, her breath coming in short gasps before turning to Eve. “So, uh, wh- what happens next?” she asked, sniffling.

Eve sighed, “well, now you can go home and wait for the bleeding to stop. It… might take a few days. Do you have someone who can take you home?” she asked.

“I can go get Marcel for you,” Hayley cut in, “or, I can take you, too.”

Rebekah shook her head, “I, uh, I don’t- is… is there something else you can do?” she asked, and let out a small whimper.

Eve sighed, “yes. I can perform a D&C procedure. Essentially I will dilate your cervix to access your uterus, and go in with an instrument to access remove any remaining tissue. That will stop the bleeding, and you will only have minor bleeding or spotting after the procedure,” she said, and Rebekah nodded. “It’s a minor surgery, but can be performed as an outpatient procedure if you prefer. It depends on the anesthesia you want which can be general, spinal, also an epidural which means you won’t feel anything below the injection site, or local which will only numb your cervix. You’ll be asleep for the general one, or if you want the other two we can sedate you as well,” she explained, and Rebekah nodded.

“I, uh, I think the O.R.,” she said, wiping away a few tears, “and, as for anesthetic the epidural one. I, uh, I want to be awake,” she said, sniffling. Hayley and Eve both nodded, and Eve stood up to grab something from one of the drawers.

“Here, let’s go over this consent form,” she said, coming to sit down closer to Rebekah.

Hayley cleared her throat, “I, uh, I can go get Marcel for you if you want,” she said, licking her lips. “Or, Freya,” she added, but Rebekah shook her head.

“No, there’s, uh, there’s no need. And, Marcel is probably in surgery, you don’t need to get him. He’s saving a life. A child’s life,” she said, choking back a sob. “Just- Hayley if you’re there, it’s fine,” she said, and let out another whimper.

“Okay,” Hayley nodded. “I’ll be there. I’ll, uh, I’ll just go ask them to prep, okay?” Both Rebekah and Eve nodded.

“Hayley, wait,” Rebekah said just as Hayley was about to pull away.

“Yes?”

“Um, would you- would it be possible to put me under a Jane Doe? I just- half my family works here along with my boyfriend, and people at the hospital know me, and I just- I don’t want anyone to know. Not yet. So, uh, could you put me under Jane Doe?” she asked, stumbling over her words nervously, tears still falling down her face.

“Of course,” Hayley said, nodding. She squeezed Rebekah’s shoulder again before leaving the room to ask them to prep the O.R. for a D&C for Jane Doe, making sure to ask for Gia as the nurse.

* * *

Rebekah cried silently the entire time, tears streaming down her face as Hayley held her hand while Eve performed the procedure, occasionally muttering to ask for an instrument.

“Okay, Rebekah, your cervix is now dilated,” Eve said quietly, and Rebekah nodded while Hayley swallowed thickly. She knew what was next in the procedure, but was glad Eve wasn’t telling Rebekah. Rebekah, who was staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down her face, trembling lips pursed together as she tried to keep from crying, but Hayley heard her inhale sharply as Eve whispered, “curette.”

“Hey,” she whispered, “look at me. Rebekah, look at me,” she said softly, and finally, the blonde turned to face her, looking at her through teary eyes. “I’m here, okay?” Rebekah nodded, and cried softly. “I’m right here. I got you. I got you, okay?” Again Rebekah nodded, and Hayley squeezed her hand. “Us girls have to stick together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Rebekah blubbered just as there was a knock on the glass separating the scrub room from the O.R. Both Hayley and Rebekah looked towards it to find Freya standing there. “Wh- what is she doing here?” Rebekah blubbered, an edge of hysteria in her voice.

“I’m gonna find out. Just- it’s gonna be okay,” she said softly, squeezing Rebekah’s hand again before standing up and going into the scrub room.

“Freya-” she started to say as soon as she entered the scrub room, removing her mask, but Freya cut her off.

“Hayley, what the hell is going on? And, why is my sister in there?” she demanded, crossing her arms in front of her.

Hayley sighed, “she’s- she’s fine,” she said and paused, but Freya didn’t seem deterred.

“I didn’t ask that. I- just, what is happening in there?” she asked again, and there was a slight tremor in her voice. Fear. Of course.

“How did you find out?” she asked, though she knew the answer before Freya actually said it.

“O.R. board. A Jane Doe getting a D&C-” Freya immediately cut herself off, and her eyes filled with tears. “Why?”

“It-” she paused, and took a deep breath, letting it out, “she’s, uh, she’s having a miscarriage,” she finally said, and the other Mikaelson sister gasped, putting her hand to her mouth to stifle it. Hayley sniffled, and reached to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, her shoulders slumping. “Oh my God,” she repeated breathlessly.

“Yeah…” Hayley muttered. When she glanced at the O.R. again, she noticed Rebekah getting agitated, and Eve putting her hands up. “I- I’m sorry, Freya, but I have to go. She needs someone in there, someone to hold her hand,” she said softly, and moved to scrub again.

“I’ll go with you,” Freya said, moving to tie her own mask before grabbing a bar of soap and starting to scrub.

“You don’t have to,” Hayley whispered, looking up at the O.R. once again. Eve looked at her, and their gazes met, and Eve gestured with her head for Hayley to go back.

“Of course I do. She’s my sister,” Freya said, and Hayley glanced over at her, catching her gaze for a brief second. She nodded, and finished scrubbing before returning to the O.R.

“Okay, I’m here, Rebekah,” she said, going to stand on Rebekah’s left side, taking her hand once again. “I got you,” she whispered.

“Thank you,” Rebekah said softly, choking back a sob as more tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Curette,” Eve whispered just as Freya entered the O.R. Rebekah turned, but whatever she planned to say, probably to kick her sister out, died on her lips, and all she could do was sob.

“Shh, Bekah,” Freya whispered softly, coming to sit on Rebekah’s right side, reaching to take her hand. “Shh,” she muttered, reaching to stroke the side of Rebekah’s face with her other hand. “I’m here, Bekah. I’m here. Sister, I’m here. I’ve got you, I’m here,” the older Mikaelson whispered, and Rebekah’s face crumpled once more, the blonde letting out a pained sob.

“I’ve got you,” she whispered. “I’ve got you,” she squeezed Rebekah’s hand.

There was a clattering sound as Eve likely tossed the tissue into a tray along with the curette. “Suction,” she whispered, and Rebekah winced at the sound of the suction. Hayley just squeezed her hand, and Freya did the same, stroking her hair with her other hand.

“Shh,” they murmured in unison. “We’re right here. We got you, Rebekah. We got you.”

Finally, the suction stopped. Eve finished the procedure before releasing Rebekah’s legs from the stirrups, and cleaning the surgical site while Hayley and Freya continued to hold her hands. Eve murmured something to Gia, and the orderlies brought the bed to transfer Rebekah to the ward.

“Okay, Rebekah, we’re finished. The nurses and orderlies will transfer you to the ward now,” Eve said as she stood up. “Again, I’m really sorry for your loss,” she added, coming to rub Rebekah’s shoulder gently. The nurses and orderlies along with her and Freya helped transfer Rebekah, and began rolling her out.

“Wait!” Rebekah yelled, stopping everyone. “I- Marcel. Where is he?” she asked, blubbering hysterically.

Hayley exchanged a glance with Freya, “I’ll go find him,” she said.

“I’m going with Rebekah,” Freya replied, and Hayley nodded.

“See you,” she said before going to scrub out. Once she was done, she went to find Marcel, and found him in surgery in O.R. 1. She grabbed a mask, putting it in front of her face before entering.

* * *

“Okay, clamp,” Marcel said, holding out his hand, and the nurse handed him a clamp. “Ligature suture,” he said, holding out his hand again.

“Dr. Gerard,” Elena, who was assisting, said, and gestured with her head, and he looked up to find Hayley Marshall standing in the O.R., holding a mask in front of her nose and mouth, though she wasn’t scrubbed.

“Dr. Marshall,” he said by way of greeting, starting to suture. “What can I help you with?”

“Dr. Gerard, do you have minute?” Hayley asked.

“Well, I’m in the middle of an appendectomy here,” he said gruffly. “Can you tell me here, or can it wait till I’m finished?”

Hayley shook her head, “no, uh, I need to talk to you now. Could we step out into the scrub room?”

“I’m in the middle of an appy here,” he remarked as he finished the suture. “Suction,” he muttered, and Elena suctioned.

“This really can’t wait,” she said, and there was something in her voice, something he couldn’t quite place, but it worried him.

“Alright, could you just wait for me to finish?” he said.

“Marcel, please,” she said, practically begging, and sniffled, and he stiffened instantly; Hayley rarely called him by his first name in an O.R. “Please handover to Dr. Gilbert and come with me,” she said.

With a sigh, he nodded, “alright. I’ll be right out,” he said. “Gilbert, let’s switch,” he said, and him and Elena quickly switched places. “Thank you,” he muttered, and she nodded.

“Of course. Don’t worry,” she said, and he nodded before stepping away from the table.

“Uh, keep me posted,” he muttered gruffly as he pulled off his surgical gown and gloves along with his masks, tossing it all into the surgical waste bin before entering the scrub room.

“Alright, Hales. I’m here. What’s up?” he asked as he entered, and immediately froze. Now that she was no longer holding the mask to her face, he could see that Hayley’s lip was trembling, and she looked like she was about to cry. “Hales,” he said slowly, bracing himself for the worst, “who died?”

“N- no one,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s-” she paused, and sniffled, and Marcel felt his pulse quicken, and he inhaled sharply.

“Damn it, Hales. Who died?” he demanded, louder this time, and she winced. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “Just- just tell me what’s goin’ on, because this is freakin’ me out,” he said in a softer tone.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. “It’s Rebekah,” she finally said, and Marcel felt like his legs gave out from under him, and he reached for the sink, bracing himself. “She’s fine!” the brunette said quickly, shaking her head. “Well, as fine as she can be considering… Marcel, I- Rebekah had a miscarriage,” she finally said, and he felt like he was about to fall to his knees.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and without thinking reached blindly, his hand connected with the medical supplies on top of the cabinet to his left, and the supplies fell down, a loud clang. Hayley gasped and flinched, taking a few steps back from him.

“Now’s not the time for that, Marcel,” she said softly, and he turned to her, sniffling.

“I know,” he muttered, choking back a sob.

“She needs you right now,” she told him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, reaching to wipe away the few tears that had spilled down his cheek. “Wh- where is she?”

“Recovery now. I’ll take you,” Hayley said softly. “I- I’m really sorry, Marcel,” she said softly, and took a step towards him, wrapping her arms around him, and pulling him into a hug. At first, he didn’t do anything, just stood there as she hugged him, but then he returned it, wrapping his own arms around her. He sniffled quietly, and they stood in the embrace, Hayley rubbing his back as he clung to her before he finally pulled away.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Of course,” she nodded, and led him out of the scrub room and to the maternity ward. Which, was really ironic, and possibly cruel.

Finally, Hayley stopped in front of a room, and nodded for him to enter. He took a deep breath, and pressed down the handle, pushing the door open. And, found Rebekah lying there, crying, tears streaming down her face, while Freya sat on the other side, holding her head.

“Bekah…” he muttered as he stepped closer, taking off his lab coat.

Rebekah sniffled, “wh- what did I do wrong?” she whispered, her breath hitching in her throat, and his heart broke.

“No, Rebekah, you didn’t-” Freya sniffled, still holding her sister’s hand.

“Bekah, no,” he muttered as he sat down on the bed. “No, you didn’t- you didn’t do anything wrong. These things… just happen,” said softly as he spooned her, curling his body around hers and took her into his arms. “Shh,” he whispered, kissing her hair, “shh, I’m here. I’m right here, it’s gonna be alright, I’m here. I got you. I got you,” he muttered, and Freya stood up.

“We’ll see you later,” someone whispered from behind him. He turned his head slightly to find Hayley leaning against the door as Freya joined her.

“Thanks,” he nodded at both of them.

“Take care,” the two women said before turning around and leaving, closing the door behind them.

Once again, he turned to Rebekah who was crying now, her sobs filling the air, tears streaming down her face.

“Shh,” he muttered, rubbing her arm, stroking her hair in an attempt to comfort her. “I’m here. I got you. I got you,” he whispered as he held her.

* * *

After leaving Marcel with Rebekah and holding Freya as she broke down, Hayley took a few minutes in a spare supply closet to let it out herself, though she wasn’t quite sure why she was so hurt by this. Yes, her heart broke for Rebekah, but she had never suffered a miscarriage before, so why was she crying so much? Finally, the tears stopped falling and her sobs subsided, so she wiped away the snot and tears, took several deep breaths, and left the supply closet. She decided to go to the E.R. since she had nothing else to do, and was just on her way there when she bumped into Elena.

“Elena, long time no see!” she exclaimed.

“Well, not that long ago you entered the O.R. and stole Marcel,” Elena quipped, chuckling. “It’s fine, at least I got to finish that appy, otherwise I was just doing suction and holding clamps,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, hi.”

“Hey,” Hayley smiled, trying to push away the sadness she felt. And then, she noticed the teenager standing next to Elena, and she had to do a double take because she looked almost exactly like her. “Woah. Is there another Petrova sister I didn’t know about?” she asked, her eyes darting between the two. The teenager snorted while Elena laughed nervously.

“Oh, no! She’s not my sister. Katherine is quite enough,” she chuckled. “Uh, this is my niece, Nadia. Katherine and Elijah’s daughter,” she said, and Hayley felt like she had stopped breathing, and her eyes widened with shock.

“Um, that’s- that’s great!” she exclaimed, trying to seem cheerful, though she wanted to smack Elena at the moment. “Hi, Nadia. I’m Hayley, I work with your… parents, and your aunt,” she said, plastering on a fake smile, and holding out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” she grinned.

“It’s great to meet you, too,” Nadia said nervously as they shook hands.

“Well, I’d love to chat, but I have to go talk to someone,” she said, flashing them both another tense smile, though it was probably more of a grimace before turning around and heading for the stairs to the ortho floor.

She ran up the stairs, and didn’t stop running until she reached ortho floor, breathless and panting, and she braced herself against a wall briefly, trying to get control of her breathing. When it no longer felt like her lungs were on fire, she headed, or rather, stormed off to her boyfriend’s office, practically kicking the door open.

“Oh, hey, you!” Elijah greeted her, his face breaking into a smile, but Hayley didn’t hear him. Or, rather, she didn’t listen to him.

“Don’t hey me!” she snapped as she stopped in the middle of his office, slamming the door behind her. “You better have a damn good explanation for this, Elijah Mikaelson, because I just met your teenage daughter!” she yelled, and Elijah’s eyes widened with shock.


	36. Someone's Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley confronts Elijah about Nadia, and they share a moment. Someone from Hayley's past shows up on her next shift. Elijah finally receives the paternity test results.

“Well?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. Elijah sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Hayley took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly, and looking at her boyfriend again who hung his head, rubbing his hand over his face.

“I just found out this morning,” he finally said, and now it was her turn to stare at him in shock.

“What?”

“Yeah…” he paused, “I- I’m sorry, Hayley. I’m sorry you found out like this, but that’s how I found out, too. This morning,” he told her, and her shoulders slumped, all the anger and the fight she was ready to level at him leaving her. “Nadia just showed up and told me she’s my daughter, so the past fourteen years of my life, the entire ten years of my relationship with Katherine were all a lie,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, disbelief obvious in it.

“Oh,” she muttered, unable to think of anything else to say. “I’m sorry, Elijah, I-” she started to say, but he kept going.

“And, she might not even be mine considering that Katherine cheated on me for an entire year of our marriage, and probably even before that, so…” he trailed off, letting out a humorless half-chuckle. Hayley sighed, and took a few steps closer, rounding his desk and coming to sit on its edge. She reached for him, cupping his chin gently, and lifted his face so he would look at her. He met her gaze, and his eyes were filled with emotion, mainly fear, and she understood. She understood why he hadn’t told her right away. Because he was terrified that Nadia wasn’t his, and was bracing himself for having his heart broken into a million pieces. But, the dark brown eyes she was staring in, the same dark brown as Henrik and Jonathan told her that Elijah’s fears were unfounded. Because Nadia’s eyes were the same dark brown color. And, deep down Hayley knew that she was Elijah’s daughter. But, she didn’t tell him that, not yet. After all, there was the possibility, however small, that it was just a coincidence, and Hayley didn’t want to be the one to instill false hope in him.

Her expression softened, “oh, Elijah,” she whispered softly, rubbing his chin gently, “I’m so sorry.”

“I just- I’m scared, Hayley. I’m scared to let her in because she might not even be mine,” he admitted, his lower lip quivering as he blinked back tears, and Hayley’s heart ached for him. “And, I’m scared that it’s going to hurt,” he added more quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I just needed a minute to process, to try to prepare myself for the disappointment,” he added sadly.

“Oh, Elijah, baby,” she said softly, caressing his jaw. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, I guess with Katherine and everything I just-” she hesitated, not sure if she should tell him this, if she should admit to her insecurities, her fear that he might, still, one day leave her for Katherine. But, Elijah knew her too well, and he reached for her, cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering briefly closed before she opened them to look at him again.

“Hey,” he said softly, rubbing her cheek gently, “I’m not going to leave you for Katherine, Hayley. I’m not going to leave you, ever. I love you. I’m in love with you. You are it for me, Hayley, and I do not plan on ever leaving you. Okay?” he whispered, his voice husky, and her breath hitched in her throat as she continued to gaze deeply into his eyes. His dark brown eyes filled with love, and reassurance, and so much promise. And, she believed him.

“Yeah,” she nodded, her lips curving into a small smile, “I know. I love you, too,” she said softly, tilting her head to kiss the inside of his palm. “What are you going to now?” she asked him, furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

Elijah sighed, “I told Katherine I wanted a paternity test, so I went to have my sample taken. Now, we just have to wait for the results,” he told her, and she nodded.

“And then?” she asked softly, dropping her hand to take his, lacing their fingers together. Elijah didn’t say anything at first, just sighed heavily and hung his head.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, an emotional edge in his voice, “and I can’t-” he paused, his voice shaking with emotion, “I can’t think about it. I can’t. I just- I can’t think about… that. And, I know that maybe that’s not fair to you because this obviously affects your life, too, but I just- I’m sorry, Hayley, I just can’t think about it. Because I’m scared that she’s not mine, that Katherine is lying again, and I’m just trying to prepare myself for the disappointment,” he admitted, and his voice broke, and Hayley just squeezed his hand. Elijah lifted their joined hands to kiss her knuckles, and sniffled as he pressed her hand to his mouth, his shoulders shaking. Hayley sighed and licked her lips before lifting her other hand to cup his cheek again, caressing his jaw gently.

“Okay,” she said softly, and Elijah finally looked up, and flashed her a small half-smile, nodding. “Okay,” she repeated.

“I love you,” he muttered, and kissed her knuckles again. Then, he patted his lap, “come here. I want to hold you,” he said softly, and she laughed, shaking her head before moving to sit on his lap, cupping the back of his neck with one hand, the other resting on his shoulder as Elijah wrapped his injured arm around her and cupped her cheek with his uninjured one.

She stroked his jaw gently, “Elijah,” she said softly, and he looked up, meeting her gaze, “no matter what happens with Nadia and Katherine,” she paused, “just know you’re not alone. I’m still here,” she whispered softly, and rubbed his cheek tenderly. “You’re not alone.”

“I know,” he said, his lips curving into a smile. “And, I love you for it,” he added, and leaned closer, capturing her lips with his own. She deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his as she pulled him closer, and their tongues tangled together. It was a lingering sort of kiss, slow and gentle, filled with comfort and reassurance.

When they pulled away, she stroked his jaw fondly, “you know,” she said softly, “I didn’t thank you for this weekend.”

Elijah stared at her, and furrowed his brow in confusion, “why- you don’t need t-” he started to argue, and shook his head, but she pressed her thumb against his lips, effectively shushing him.

“Yes, I do,” she said softly, her voice filled with conviction as she traced the shape of his lips with her thumb. “Thank you. For this weekend, for being there with me and Hope, for spending time with her… for pancakes,” she chuckled lightly, and Elijah’s lips curved into a small smile, “for being you. And, just being there,” she whispered, her voice laced with emotion as Elijah stared deeply into her eyes, not breaking contact. “I know it wasn’t easy for you, I know it brought up a lot of memories, but you did it anyways. And, you were amazing,” she said softly. She paused, and bit her lip lightly, “you were so _good_ too Hope,” she added in a hoarse whisper, her voice thick with emotion, and Elijah bowed his head slightly, sniffling, a few tears spilling down his cheek, and she quickly reached to wipe them away. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, his voice almost breaking and sniffled before tilting his head up slightly, and pressing his lips against hers. She returned the kiss immediately, her hands cupping his cheeks as her lips molded with his, salty and wet from tears, before sliding to wrap around his neck as their tongues tangled together. This kiss was more tender and soft, and Hayley poured every ounce of gratitude, and admiration, and love she felt for Elijah who simply pulled her closer and held her tighter.

When air became necessity they broke the kiss, though Hayley rested her forehead against Elijah’s, rubbing her nose against his before pulling away slightly to look at him, her hazel eyes meeting his.

“And, one more thing,” she muttered huskily before pulling one hand away and reaching into the pocket of her lab coat, fumbling slightly, before finally pulling her hand out, holding a simple set of keys, dangling from her fingers. But, not just any keys. The keys to her apartment. Something that Elijah seemed to realize, too, and his breath hitched in his throat.

“Hayley…” he started to say, but she shushed him again, resting her thumb against his lips.

“Don’t say anything just yet, please,” she said softly. “I don’t have a big romantic speech prepared, or even a particularly romantic reason. I mean, I do because I want you there with me, obviously,” she paused and bit her lip, but Elijah didn’t say anything, and just nodded encouragingly, so she continued, “but, there is also the not-so-romantic fact that I just feel safer if you have the key,” she admitted, and he sighed heavily, tensing up slightly at the mere reference to Jackson. “But, even if I don’t have a big romantic speech, I do mean it. I want you there with me, I want you to have your own key, I want you to have a drawer or a whole set of drawers if you want. I just- I just want _you_ , Elijah. In my home, in my life. I want you. I always will,” she said softly, stroking his cheek tenderly.

“Now, who’s being the sap?” he quipped, and she chuckled.

“Shut up,” she muttered. “So, what do you say? Got one more space on your keychain?”

Elijah smiled, a real genuine smile, “for you, Hayley… always. Always,” he said softly. And then, he smashed his lips against hers and kissed her. And, Hayley did not complain one bit as she deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his, their tongues tangled together.

Eventually, they managed to pull away, though that was mainly because Hayley’s pager started going off. She was pretty sure her and Elijah were going to end up doing something way less innocent than a kiss at the rate things were going.

“Sorry, sorry,” she muttered as she fumbled for her pager while scrambling off of Elijah. “It’s the E.R.,” she told him.

“Trauma?”

“Unlikely. It’s not even a 9-1-1, which means Katherine is still pissed at me. It’s just the E.R.,” she grumbled and rolled her eyes as she straightened herself. She stopped at the door, an idea forming in her mind, “hey, I was thinking,” she said and Elijah hummed, so she continued, “maybe we should go out tonight? Grab a nice dinner, I’ll wear a dress,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “you can wear a suit?” she suggested, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

Elijah chuckled as he strode over to her, “well, seems to me that you just want an excuse to dress up, Dr. Marshall,” he quipped as he cupped her jaw, stroking her chin lightly, and she huffed out a laugh.

“Mostly you,” she grinned. “I do like how you look in a suit,” she winked, he laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “So? Dinner tonight?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I’ll go change and pick you up so you can change at your place after shift? I can make the reservations, too,” he said, and she nodded.

“Sounds great,” she grinned.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” he said as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Love you,” she said before pecking his lips as her pager beeped again.

“Love you, too,” Elijah said as she ran out the door before he shut it behind her.

* * *

The rest of her shift flew by quickly, and after dealing with her last patient, a teenager who swallowed a daffodil root for which she had to also page Cami because the root happened to be toxic, Hayley went and got changed out of her scrubs, grabbed her bag and went to meet Elijah in the parking lot. Except, he wasn’t wearing a suit. No, he was simply wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and on top of it, a hoodie. She could count on her hand the amount of time Elijah ever wore a hoodie. Even with him wearing jeans and t-shirts these days since he couldn’t deal with buttoning his suits, he still wore nice jackets. Not hoodies. Hoodies made him look worn down and tired. Come to think of it, he did look worn down and tired. His shoulders were slumped, and his head was down, and Hayley’s heartbeat quickened with worry.

She took a deep breath, “Elijah,” she said, a little breathlessly, her voice a little too high-pitched. When he didn’t say anything, didn’t move, she stepped closer, “Elijah,” she said softly, “you ready?”

Finally, Elijah looked up, “hey,” he said, though she could hear the tremor in his voice. He attempted a smile, but it was more of a grimace, and his lip quivered slightly. Hayley steeled herself, took a deep breath, and stepped closer to him.

“You’re not wearing a suit, I’m kind of disappointed,” she drawled, and chuckled lightly as she cupped his cheeks, and stroked his jaw lightly. When Elijah didn’t say anything, her concern only grew, “hey, baby,” she said softly, still caressing his jaw, “what is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, her stomach knotting with worry.

“Forgive me,” he finally said, his voice trembling, and Hayley all but gasped.

“Elijah, what is it? What’s wrong?” she asked him, a panicked edge to her voice, and her heart hammered in her chest.

“Please don’t-” he paused, and swallowed thickly, “don’t be mad at me,” he mumbled. Hayley took a deep breath, then released it, and pulled back slightly to get a better look at her boyfriend. He seemed fine, except for the way his lips quivered, and the guarded look in his eyes which weren’t quite looking at her.

“Elijah,” she whispered, and furrowed her brow, “have you- have you been drinking?” she finally asked, though she couldn’t smell anything on him.

Elijah flinched, and Hayley inhaled sharply, bracing herself for a fight, but then he just shook his head, “no,” his voice a low whisper.

“Okay,” she nodded, though her voice was still shaking slightly.

Finally, he looked up, and Hayley all but gasped at the look on his face. His eyes were red and glassy with unshed tears, and his lip quivered no matter how much he pursed his lips and tried not to cry.

“Elijah…” she whispered, and rubbed his cheek with her thumb, his stubble scratchy, but she had to admit she liked it. She had always liked it.

“No, I didn’t drink,” he shook his head again and pulled away from her to lean against his car. She nodded, and walked over to him, mimicking his position, though she didn’t reach for him, didn’t touch him. Not yet. “But, I wanted it to,” he admitted, breaking the silence, and she turned, surprise written all over her face. “I wanted to. For the first time in a long time, I really, really wanted to drink,” he sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m fine, now. I went to a meeting, so you don’t have to worry I’ll drink… tonight. I-” he cut himself off, and sighed heavily.

“Elijah,” she said, and turned to him once again, “you’re… scaring me,” she admitted. And, finally, he turned to face her.

“Hayley, I’m sorry, I-” he started to say, but this time she interrupted him.

“Not like that. It’s just- you’re worrying me. I’m worried about you. So, please, tell me what’s going on, what’s bothering you… What’s wrong?” she said, and lifted her hand to cup his cheek. He leaned into her touch instinctively, and shut his eyes briefly before opening them again, and looking straight at her.

“My ex-wife lied to me during our entire marriage about the fact that she had our daughter before we started dating after a one-nightstand. That’s something my brother would have done,” he chuckled, rolling his eyes. “But, she kept it from for our entire relationship, when we were dating, when we were married, after we got divorced. And, she might not even be mine because my ex-wife cheated on me for a year during our marriage, and that’s only what I know. And, the worst part,” he paused, and took a ragged breath as he ran his hand over his face, “the worst part is that I would have stepped up. I would have taken her in, even if she wasn’t mine. Even if it meant taking a job while in med school… I don’t know. I would have done it. But, Katherine lied to me, so…” he trailed off with a sigh. “I suppose my father and I are more like than I realized. Bastard children, cheating wives, drinking problems…” he shook his head bitterly, and despite the obvious anger, Hayley could also see the hurt, and the shame. It gave her chills. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” his voice trembled, and Hayley winced. “And, I’m ashamed, Hayley. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed that this.. all of it is just making me want to drink. But, I can’t drink,” he ran his hand over his face.

She shook her head vehemently, “no,” she said, her voice filled with conviction, “no.” She reached for his hand, and laced their fingers together, squeezing it lightly, “Elijah,” she said slowly as she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, “you are not your father. You are nothing like your father. You are a good man,” she said as she cupped his cheek with her other hand. “Do you hear me?” she met his gaze and held it firmly, “you are a good man.” Elijah said nothing and instead simply leaned closer, tilted his head and kissed her forehead.

Then, he rested his forehead against hers, and their breaths mingled, “I love you,” he muttered against her lips.

She stroked his jaw fondly, “I love you, too,” she whispered huskily before pressing her lips to his, closing the gap between them as her hands slid to the back of his neck. Elijah wrapped his arms around her instinctively, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss, their lips molding with each other, tongues tangling together. Finally, after a few seconds, they pulled away, both of them panting, breathing heavily.

“I cancelled the dinner reservations,” he sighed as he leaned against the car once again, and she joined him, taking his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Okay, we can go another time,” she nodded, bringing his hand to her lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles before caressing them lightly.

They were silent for a few minutes before Elijah sighed heavily, “let’s go to the diner,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “Let’s go to the diner, and let’s be us, and let’s ignore this whole thing. Let’s ignore my cheating ex-wife, your abusive soon-to-be ex-husband, the family drama… let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist. And, let’s go to the diner,” he said softly in a pleading tone, his voice trembling as he stroked her hair, then caressed her jaw. Instinctively, she leaned into his touch, tilted her head slightly, and kissed the inside of his palm.

Then, she took his hand once again, fingers intertwined, and nodded, “okay.” After a few more minutes, they got into the car, Elijah opening the passenger for her, and drove off to the diner.

* * *

A few days later, Hayley was on shift at the hospital, and after parting ways with Elijah, who was mostly fine as long as he was at work, though he was getting impatient with the recovery for his hand, she went to the E.R. She was always in the E.R. nowadays. Katherine kissed her boyfriend, and Hayley was dealing with runny noses, small cuts, stomachaches and swallowers. Wonderful. There went all her hard work.

With a sigh, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her recent calls before clicking on Rebekah’s name. [She’d been calling Rebekah non-stop ever since Rebekah had gone home following the D&C, but Rebekah either didn’t pick up, or picked up to tell her that she didn’t want to talk. Hayley wasn’t sure which was worse].

This time, she picked up on the second to last ring.

“I told you, Hayley, I don’t want to talk,” she snapped, and Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Hello, Rebekah, how are you?” she said by way of greeting.

“I told you, I’m fine,” she said, the exasperation obvious in her tone, and Hayley sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. Well, this was off to a great start.

“I know,” she replied. “But, I’m worried, Bekah,” she said more gently. “It’s been five days. You don’t want to talk to me, fine. But, are you talking to someone?”

“I’m fine,” Rebekah repeated, though her voice wavered slightly, and Hayley nodded, though the blonde couldn’t see her. “I’m fine,” her voice almost broke.

Hayley bit her lip, “okay,” she said softly. There was no point in arguing with her, especially over the phone because Rebekah could just hang up, and maybe she wasn’t ready. And, Rebekah wasn’t Elijah. Elijah breaking down, Hayley could handle. But, Rebekah? Nope. “Okay,” she sighed. “But, if you want to talk, Rebekah,” she said softly, “I am right here. You can call me, even if it’s the middle of the night. If you want to bitch, or cry, or scream, you can do that. I’m here. Want me to bring a bottle of red to yours? I’m your gal. I can make it white, if you prefer,” she said, and Rebekah chuckled tearfully. “The point is, I’m here for you. Us girls have to stick together, right? I’ve got your back, Bekah,” she said firmly, nodding even though Rebekah couldn’t see her.

“Thanks, Hayley,” Rebekah muttered weakly. “Now, I have to go, I have a meeting,” she told her, clearing her throat. “But, uh, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. We’ll talk later,” she said, and smiled, though Rebekah couldn’t see her. “Bye, Bekah!”

“Bye, Hayley! Mwah!” Rebekah said, making a kissing sound before hanging up. Hayley put the phone in her pocket before making her way to the nurse’s desk.

“Agnes, great to see you,” she plastered on a fake smile, but the nurse didn’t look impressed. “What do you have for me?”

“Abdominal pains. Bed six,” Agnes grumbled, handing her a chart.

Hayley beamed, “thank you, Agnes,” she said sweetly.

“Mhm,” Agnes grumbled. “Now, shoo!” Hayley just rolled her eyes, grabbed the chart, and spun around, making her way to bed six.

“Rosza!” she yelled upon spotting Josh, who came to join her.

“Hey,” he flashed her a quick smile. “What’s up?”

“We have a patient,” she announced, flashing him a bright smile.

“A patient? For both of us?” he looked and sounded surprised.

Hayley nodded, “you’re an intern, I’m a fifth year resident, call it a teaching moment,” she told him firmly as she led him to bed six. She handed him the chart, “Dr. Rosza?” she asked, giving him a pointed look.

“Right. Me. Uh, well, Ethan Mason, 13, complained of abdominal pain, dad brought him in,” Josh reported. Hayley turned to the father, a middle aged man who looked to be worried out of his mind while Ethan tensed with pain.

“Mr. Mason, please don’t worry, we are going to figure out what’s wrong with your son, okay?” she said, smiling widely at him before turning to Josh. “Dr. Rosza, let’s examine Ethan, shall we?” she said before stepping up to the patient. “Ethan would you please lift up your shirt so I can examine you?” she requested as she sanitized her hands. But, just as she was about to start performing the exam, she was interrupted.

“Well, hon, you look great,” someone said from behind her. No, not someone. She knew that voice.

“Excuse me,” she muttered before turning around. She sighed. “Mary,” she said by way of greeting, “hello.” The old woman in front of her smiled at her. Mary. Jackson’s grandmother. Wonderful. This was just what she needed.

“Oh, come on, darlin’, don’t be so formal. Come give me a hug,” she said, opening her arms up for her. Hayley just rolled her eyes and went to hug her, letting Mary wrap her up in her arms and hold her just a little longer than usual.

When they pulled apart, Hayley took a deep breath, “Mary,” she drawled gravely, “what are you doing here? It’s a long way from home,” she said, but the older woman didn’t look impressed.

“Oh, hon, you think I can’t drive myself to the airport, get on a plane and fly to another state?” she quipped, giving Hayley a pointed look. “I’ve been taking care of myself and getting myself places long before you were born,” she grumbled.

Hayley just rolled her eyes, “right. Well, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t I just pay my favorite granddaughter-in-law a visit?” she remarked, but Hayley wasn’t impressed.

“Mary,” she drawled carefully, “that’s not why you came all this way, and we both know that. And, I’m not your granddaughter-in-law anymore. Well, I won’t be once your grandson signs the divorce papers which will hopefully be soon,” she said, her voice dropping as her eyes darted around the E.R. She wasn’t about to air her dirty laundry around the E.R. It was enough that nurses liked to gossip about her, Elijah and Katherine, she didn’t need them to add her soon-to-be ex-husband to the mix.

“Oh, darlin’ why do you think I’m here?” Mary quipped, chuckling lightly. “Now, why don’t we catch up over coffee?” she suggested, giving her a tight smile.

Hayley smiled, though it was forced, “sure, why not? Just give me a moment, please,” she said softly before returning to the patient and Josh. “Dr. Rosza, please go ahead with the exam,” she said as she curled her fists, trying to keep her hands from shaking.

“Aren’t you supposed to examine him?” Mr. Mason asked, running a hand through his hair worriedly, and turned to her.

Hayley just plastered on another fake smile, “Mr. Mason, Dr. Rosza is a very qualified and talented intern. And, this is a teaching hospital, so consider this a teaching moment. I am right here, and I will be right here the whole time, so please don’t worry,” she told him, her voice firm, but soft. The doctor voice. “Go on, Dr. Rosza, examine Ethan, please,” she said and Josh stepped up to the patient. Josh looked at her nervously, but she gave him an encouraging smile, and nudged him slightly.

“Right. Ethan, please lift your shirt up,” he requested, and the patient did as told. “I’m going to examine you now, okay?” he said and began palpating Ethan’s abdomen. When he touched the lower right abdomen, Ethan tensed and groaned in pain.

“Ow,” he moaned, and Josh pulled away.

“Tenderness over McBurney’s point,” Josh whispered to her, and she nodded.

She turned to the patient’s dad, “okay, well, we need to run a blood panel first, but looks like his appendix has inflamed which means it could rupture. If that happens, we’ll need to take him into surgery,” she informed him.

“So, it’s appendicitis?”

“Very likely, yes. Tenderness over McBurney’s point is almost a guarantee. Now, Dr. Rosza will run a CBC and once we know for sure, we’ll take Ethan in for an appendectomy. I’ll page Dr. Gilbert or Dr. Gerard, who are our peds doctors,” she told him, flashing him a quick smile. 

“Okay, thank you,” he nodded.

“Good. Dr. Rosza, please run a CBC and page me once you have the results,” she requested, flashing Ethan and his dad another smile before turning around to face Mary once again. “So, coffee?”

“Let’s go, hon. I know you don’t have much time, so let’s make this reunion short and sweet,” Mary said in a firm voice, striding out of the E.R., leaving Hayley to just follow after her, shaking her head. The woman was here but two seconds and she was already bossing her around. But, Hayley didn’t feel arguing with her, not yet, so she just followed her to the café, ordered herself a cappuccino and sat down. They exchanged small talk, and Hayley tried to smile through it.

“How is Hope?” Mary asked after a while.

Hayley sighed, “Hope is… she’s fine. She’s happy, she’s healthy, and she has her family here,” she said, smiling fondly.

“And, how are you?” Mary asked, and this time her tone was more serious than before. Before, it was out of courtesy. Now, it was different. “And, don’t give me any of that busy with work crap because you’re always busy at work. You’re always busy at work, you’re a surgeon for God’s sakes,” she rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed.

Hayley sighed, “well, I… I have a boyfriend,” she finally said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips at the thought of Elijah. “He’s, uh, he’s a surgeon, too. Ortho. We’re happy. He makes me happy,” she took another sip of her coffee. “And, I have friends, and I’m raising my daughter, so things are good.”

Mary nodded, “good. That’s good. You and Jackson getting a divorce?”

“Yeah,” she took another sip. “I, uh, I served him with divorce papers which is why he’s here now. But, he won’t sign them, not yet. So, I don’t know, I guess I wait for him to sign them now…” she trailed off, and shrugged.

“Oh, honey,” Mary just shook her head.

“Now, Mary, I’ve answered all of your burning questions,” she drawled, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “so it’s your turn. What exactly are you doing here?” But, before Mary can say anything, her pager beeps. “Damn it,” she muttered under her breath. “It’s my patient. His appendix ruptured, I have to go,” she said, standing up abruptly. Mary just nodded, watching her as she pulled her hair into a bun before putting on her scrub cap. “Bye, Mary!” she yelled before rushing off to the O.R.

“Did you page Dr. Gilbert or Dr. Gerard?” she asked Josh breathlessly as she started to scrub, tying her mask, then starting to scrub her hands.

“Uh, Gilbert’s in a CABG with DuBois and Marcel is taking some personal time,” Josh reported, and Hayley’s eyes widened.

“Personal time? Marcel?”

“Yup. Never thought it possible, right?” Josh quipped, chuckling. “He just said he’s taking some personal time, like an hour or two. He left just before we had to rush Ethan into surgery,” Josh quipped, but Hayley was pretty sure that Marcel wasn’t just taking time off to go to lunch. He was probably with Rebekah. 

“Well, he’s just missing out on an appy,” she shrugged. “And, our patient is waiting for us. Let’s go,” she said, shaking her hands before entering the O.R., Josh right behind her.

“Okay, people,” she said as the nurse finished tying her surgical gown, flexing her fingers. “Are we all set?”

“Yes, doctor,” the anesthesiologist informed her.

“Good. Let’s get started,” she said as she stepped up to the table. “Scalpel,” she requested, and held out her hand. The scrub nurse set the instrument in her palm, and Hayley gripped it firmly before pressing it against the patient’s skin and making the cut.

The moment she made the cut, the world fell away, and all that mattered was the patient, all she heard was the beeping of the machines and what Josh, the anesthesiologist and the scrub nurses said, and all she felt was the weight of the surgical instruments in her hands and the warmth of the blood.

Finally, she was done, and she turned to Josh, “Dr. Rosza, would you like to close?”

“Who me?” he asked nervously, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort.

“Yes, Dr. Rosza. You. You’re a surgical intern. You should thank me for letting you hold the clamp and closing,” she told him, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Right, uh… well, uh, right. Okay, yeah, sure. I’ll close,” he said, his voice still shaking slightly, and Hayley just exchanged a look with the anesthesiologist. She stepped back, and allowed Josh to switch to her position. “Sutures,” he ordered and held out his hands for the sutures and instruments.

“Dr. Marshall?” the nurse said when there was ping.

“Yes?”

“You have a message. Should I read it?”

“Yes, please,” she said, her eyebrows knitting together with worry.

“It’s Dr. Mikaelson. He said to meet on the rooftop STAT,” she said, and Hayley inhaled sharply.

“I, uh, I have to go,” she said breathlessly as she untied her surgical gown. “Dr. Rosza, please finish closing and take the patient to recovery. I need to go,” she said, and took a deep breath, then released it as she took off her mask and gloves, throwing everything into the surgical waste bin before scrubbing out quickly and taking off at a run.

* * *

_Hayley, meet me on the rooftop STAT_

Elijah’s text played in her mind on repeat like a broken record as she raced up the stairs to the rooftop. Hayley wasn’t even sure why she was running like this, why she was so worried, but even from his text, she got a feeling she couldn’t place, like she could hear Elijah’s slightly desperate voice saying it. So, she ran as fast as she could, which wasn’t that unusual in a hospital before finally coming to a stop in front of the door that opened onto the rooftop. She took several deep breaths, bracing herself before she finally pushed the door open. And, there he was, standing at the edge, his arms resting on the railings, and she breathed out a relieved sigh. He seemed to be in one piece, so at least there was that. He was wearing his scrubs, lab coat on top, and his hair was tousled from the wind. She had to admit she found this slightly rugged look kind of hot. She still liked how well he could pull off a suit, but she also liked it when he was a bit messy, his hair tousled, sporting a scruff that scratched her skin just slightly when they kissed.

“Elijah,” she breathed out, relieved.

At first, he made no sound of acknowledgement, then finally he turned, and his expression gave her chills, and not the good kind. He had a haunted look in his eyes, there was that crease between his eyebrows that told her he was thinking too hard, too much, that something wasn’t right. She liked to kiss that crease sometimes, even though she couldn’t kiss away all his worries, his fears, but when she did it and he relaxed, it felt like it. And, his eyes were slightly red and glassy with unshed tears and his uninjured hand was curled into a tight fist, and he was holding himself so tightly, so firm, trying hard not to cry. Which only worried Hayley more.

“Elijah,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper, and walked over to him, throwing her arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly, pressing herself to him. Elijah caught her easily, and instinctively wrapped his own arms around her, returning the embrace. He burrowed his face in the crook of her neck, one hand cupping the back of her head while she tucked her chin over his shoulder, her hands rubbing up and down his back. She heard him let out a shaky breath, and pressed herself closer. Finally, after a few long minutes, she pulled away and cupped his cheek, and Elijah leaned into her touch as her thumb rubbed her cheek gently. “Hi,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Hi,” he muttered, his voice hoarse, almost breaking, and he slid his hand along her arm, though she could feel his hand shaking, and her heart hammered in her chest. What in the world would have her boyfriend shaking like this? Her steady and stoic Elijah, who only let his guard down around her, but that was usually more of an emotional breakdown, not this. It was like he was having a panic attack. A very quiet and very controlled one. Hayley took a deep breath, then released it.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice edgy with worry, but she couldn’t help it. Elijah pulled away slightly only to raise his injured hand, and Hayley noticed for the first time that he’d been awkwardly holding something. No, not something. A white envelope with a name printed on the top right corner. He’d been clutching it so tightly as if worried he might drop it or the wind might blow it away. Hayley didn’t need to read what the printed words said because she knew with sinking realization.

“The paternity test results,” Elijah finally said, his voice a low whisper as if he was afraid to say it more loudly, his voice still trembling with emotion.

“Oh. Oh, Elijah... baby…” she said softly. “I-“ she stopped herself, something in his eyes gave her an odd feeling. “Wh- What does it say?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I haven’t... I- I can’t quite bring myself to open it,” he admitted. “Will you?” he asked softly.

“Are you- are you sure?” she asked, looking at him carefully. Elijah just nodded, so Hayley took the envelope from his hand, and took a step back as she slowly peeled the envelope open.

For a few seconds neither of them said anything as Hayley scanned the paper holding the results. Results that might change Elijah’s life forever, and she released a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding when she saw it. Possibility of Paternity: 99.9998%.

Elijah opened his mouth to say something, but seemed unable to form the words, and he closed it, letting out a shudder.

“Elijah...” she started slowly, but trailed off, and took another calming breath before releasing it.

Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat, and the crease between his eyebrows deepened as he pursed his lips and swallowed thickly, still trying not to cry, but he was still shaking.

“Elijah,” she repeated, her voice more even this time as she stepped closer to him, reaching to cup his cheek, caressing his jaw gently. “Wh- she was right. Katherine. She wasn’t lying. Elijah, Nadia is yours,” she finally said, and she watched as Elijah let go of the control he still had over his emotions. His shoulders slumped, and his lips quivered as he blinked rapidly, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. Hayley didn’t waste another second, and she threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. For a moment, Elijah didn’t move and just let her hug him, hold him tightly before he finally wrapped his own arms around her, and hugged her back, burying his face in her hair as she tucked her chin over his shoulder. Elijah shuddered, letting out a heavy sigh, and choked back a sob as he clung to her, and she could practically feel his pain, could sense his anguish, his guilt, but there was nothing she could do, so she just held him tighter. 

* * *

Eventually, Elijah finally managed to untangle himself from Hayley’s embrace, and pulled back a little, staring into the eyes of the woman he loved. Hayley Marshall. Her hazel eyes were staring back into his, filled with love and reassurance, and Elijah felt like he was falling in love with her all over again in just a few minutes.

“A- are you certain?” he asked, his voice low, still shaking slightly.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I’m sure,” she said softly, and her lips curled into a smile. “See for yourself,” she added softly and handed him the results. He scanned them quickly, and stopped upon reading the results. Possibility of paternity: 99.9998%. He almost couldn’t believe it, but at the same time it was as if he could sense that they were true. He was Nadia’s father. Nadia was his daughter. He had a daughter. After Jonathan died, he’d never thought he’d be a parent again, and now he was. In a way, he had always been because Nadia was older than J. And, yet he hadn’t known about her existence for the past fourteen years. Did that make him a father, her father, still? Or, did that mean he wasn’t? Granted, he knew it wasn’t his fault, that Katherine was the one who had kept the existence of their daughter, his daughter hidden from him for the past fourteen years. The thought made him almost drop to his knees, but he reached for the railing, bracing himself, and Hayley cupped his cheeks before her hands drifted to rest on his shoulders, steadying him, keeping him upright. Oh, how he needed her. Sometimes, he needed her to simply stand. Or, to get through the day. Or, just to breathe. Sometimes it truly felt as if he couldn’t breathe without her. He needed her, but he didn’t deserve her. She was so much better than him, and as much as she told him he was a good man, he was never going to be good enough for her. But, he couldn’t leave her either. He couldn’t even fathom his life without her. And, he knew that it would cause them both pain, that they would both be hurt if he did that, even if she was better off without him. So, he stayed. She was everything to him, so he stayed. And, if she let him, he would stay. For as long as she wanted him. He would stay.

“Elijah? Elijah!” Hayley yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he blinked dazedly before finally focusing on her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he muttered weakly. “I’m fine. I just- thank you, Hayley,” he finally said, his voice thick with emotion. “Thank you. This… being here… it means everything to me. And, I love you for it. Thank you,” he told her, and she smiled at him, a real smile, and he couldn’t help but smile in return.

“You’re welcome, Elijah. You know I’m always here for you. I love you,” she told him, fondling his cheek gently. Their lips met halfway, and molded with each other, tongues tangling together as he wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her to him while she wrapped hers around his neck, her fingers threading together. After a few more seconds, they pulled away, and he rested his forehead against hers.

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

“You’re welcome,” she mumbled against his lips. And then, her pager beeped. “Damn it,” she groaned as she stepped back. “I have to go. I’m sorry,” she said apologetically, but he shook his head.

“Don’t apologize,” he shook his head. The pager beeped again. “Go get them,” he quipped, and she laughed, pecked his cheek lightly before taking off, running down the stairs. Elijah stayed on the roof for a little while longer before leaving as well.

He was on his way back to his office when he spotted her, slumped in a chair, listening to music while reading. He stopped, and sighed heavily. Part of him wanted to go to her, but another part of him was scared. _What would he say to her? What could he say to her?_ He pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. He at least owed her an apology. So, he walked over to her, and careful not to spook her, or disrupt her, he touched her shoulder gently, and she jumped slightly, pulling her headphones out of her ears in the process before she finally realized it was him.

“Oh. It’s you,” she said, and Elijah felt a pang of hurt at the disappointment in her voice.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s me,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I was, uh, I was hoping we could talk,” he said, and licked his lips nervously.

“Talk?” she raised an eyebrow in a manner that reminded him too much of Katherine. “Now you want to talk?” she snapped, and he winced.

“I probably deserved that, yeah,” he sighed. “But, I- listen, Nadia, things are complicated with your mother and I just-” he stumbled over his words as he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

“Complicated? I think that’s the understatement of the year,” she rolled her eyes sarcastically. He opened his mouth to say something else, but she didn’t let him, “fine. You want to talk? Let’s talk,” she said, and rolled her eyes again.

“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the seat beside her, and she nodded reluctantly, so he sat down. He sighed heavily, and pinched the bridge of his nose again as he tried to figure out where to start. “I, uh, I got the paternity test results,” he finally said, and Nadia’s gaze snapped over to his.

“Oh?” she muttered, and he nodded.

“I’m- Nadia, you were right. Your mother was right. Turns out I am your father,” he finally said, and she nodded.

“I was right,” she muttered, nodding slowly.

“You were right. But, I didn’t believe you and that hurt you, and for that I am sorry. I am truly sorry, Nadia,” he said, his voice shaking slightly with emotion, and he swallowed thickly. “It’s just- your mother and I have – had – a complicated relationship. And, I didn’t believe her when she told me, so I didn’t believe you. And, I’m sorry about that. I’m really sorry. But, I- your mother lied to me when we were married… I don’t trust her anymore, so…” he trailed off awkwardly and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

“She cheated on you,” Nadia said after a while, and it wasn’t a question. It was a fact.

He sighed, and bowed his head, “yeah… yeah, she did,” he admitted sadly.

“I overheard her and Elena talking. I’m sorry, that must suck,” she said, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, it does. It sucks,” he sniffled. “But, we’re divorced now, and I’m with someone else. Hayley. You’d like her, I think,” he told her, and she nodded, flashing him a soft smile. “I’m just sorry that this hurt you, too,” he added after a while.

“It’s okay,” she said, flashing him another smile in reassurance.

“Good. I know that it’s a lot to take in, and I know that we need to talk more, but I don’t want to put too much pressure on you right now. So, I’m going to go back to my office,” he told her, and fumbled in his pocket before pulling out one of his business cards, and handed it to her. “But, when you’re ready to talk, you can call me. Or, just drop by my office,” he told her, and she nodded.

“Okay,” she smiled. “Thanks.”

He flashed her a tight smile, and stood up. “I hope I’ll see you soon, Nadia. And, again, I’m really sorry about everything,” he told her, starting to walk away, but she stopped him.

“Elijah, wait!” she called out, and he turned around to find her walking towards him. She hesitated for a moment before she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. For a second, he stood there, frozen, but then he returned the hug, his daughter’s hug, and the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He was hugging his daughter. He had a daughter. But, he wrapped his own arms around her and hugged her back, holding her gently. After a few more seconds, Nadia pulled away. “It’s nice to meet you,” she told him, flashing him a quick smile.

He chuckled, “it’s nice to meet you, too, Nadia,” he told her, and then she stepped back and he turned around and walked to the elevators.


	37. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving with the Mikaelsons doesn't go exactly as planned. Nadia finally finds out about Jonathan. And, Jackson gets hit by a bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update, but things got ahead of me. Anyways, here is chapter 37! Enjoy!

Hayley stared into the mirror as she finished applying her makeup, and let out a heavy sigh just as the door opened to reveal Elijah, who’d run down to check on Nadia and Hope. She raked her eyes over his body, and hoped he didn’t notice her checking him out. Not, that he’d have an issue with it, but still. He was wearing jeans that sat on his ass just right and a light blue button-up shirt that contrasted nicely with his dark features and fair skin.

“The girls are ready and getting antsy,” Elijah announced, entering the room without looking up, and shut the door behind him. Hayley looked away from her boyfriend as she put the mascara back in the makeup bag and grabbed the lip gloss, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“I’m almost ready,” she said softly, still looking at Elijah as she applied her lip gloss.

Except, Elijah knew her too well, and he leaned against the doorway, realization obvious on his face, a small, playful smirk forming on his face. “Oh,” he murmured, glancing over at her, “and, what are you looking at, Dr. Marshall?” he quipped.

“Oh, nothing,” she muttered as she put the lip gloss back into the makeup bag. She ran her hand through her hair which she’d curled slightly, and glanced back at him, their gazes catching. And, she knew he knew. “Well, can you blame me?” she chuckled before adding, “my boyfriend is looking hot.” Elijah just laughed, shaking his head, then turned back to his dresser, clumsily rummaging through it before turning back to her, two ties in his hand.

“What do you think? Stripes or patterns?” he asked her, holding them up. Hayley sighed, and finished putting on her earrings before turning around, and walking over to him.

“Hmm,” she sighed, and glanced between the two ties and him. Then, she shook her head, “neither,” she said simply. Surprise flitted across Elijah’s face, but she continued, “seriously, babe, just lose the tie,” she told him, her expression becoming serious.

Elijah looked affronted, “but, I like my ties,” he said simply, and pouted slightly. “I thought you liked this,” he added, gesturing to himself.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” she retorted, chuckling in amusement. “I always like this,” she said huskily, running her hands along the front of his shirt, letting out a long exhale. “But,” she said slowly, “this isn’t the right occasion, Dr. Mikaelson,” she gave him a pointed look. “It’s Thanksgiving, and we’re going to a family dinner. Not a medical conference,” she added as she stood in front of him, her eyes drifting from his face to his clothes.

He sighed heavily, “fine,” he tossed the ties onto the bed. “You win,” he added, chuckling playfully. She smirked smugly and reached to unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt, then straightened it, so he would look more relaxed.

“The navy jacket,” she told him, her voice low. He nodded, and pulled away, going to grab the jacket, and pulled it on. She smiled. “You look good. Very handsome, Dr. Mikaelson,” she told him.

“And, you look beautiful,” he retorted, his gaze trailing over her body, admiring her unashamedly, and she let him, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips because it was clear in the way he looked at her how much he loved her, how much he cared about her, but also there was an almost stunned wonder, as if he couldn’t quite believe it himself. And, the thought, the thought that she still had that effect on him, well that thought filled her with warmth. She couldn’t quite form the words, not while Elijah was looking at her like that, so she just smiled.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” she said after a while as she fiddled with her dress. It was a dark orange, almost brown color with a black leaf pattern all over it, a simple neckline, cinched below her breasts. She’d paired it a pair of black leather boots and her trusty black leather jacket which was thrown over the side of the bed. The outfit screamed fall, and Hayley felt a little ridiculous that she’d coordinated the color of her outfit with the season, but did like the dress, and she’d wanted to wear something special to her first proper Thanksgiving dinner. And, also, Elijah liked the dress, so there was that. No, not just liked. Hayley was pretty sure he loved it, especially the rather generous hem, mid-thigh, and with her boots ending just below the knees, well, it was no wonder her boyfriend loved it.

Speaking of her boyfriend, he looked up, and caught her gaze briefly, “what is a good idea?”

“Thanksgiving dinner. With your family. Your pretty dysfunctional family,” she said pointedly, and averted her gaze, unable to look him in the eye.

Elijah just rolled his eyes, “Hayley, you know how my family gets. But, it’s fine. It’ll be fine,” he sighed, and then he paused, and something seemed to occurred to him because the next thing he muttered was a simple, “oh.”

“What?”

“Do you not want to go?” he finally asked, striding over to her slowly, concern and worry etched on his face, but she could also see something else. Apprehension. “Hayley, sweetheart,” he said softly, though he didn’t reach for her, “is there something wrong?”

“No, no,” she shook her head, and exhaled slowly, “nothing like that. I do want to go. Because this is the first proper Thanksgiving I’m attending since… well, since ever. And, because it’s Hope’s first family holiday. And, because Rebekah has worked hard for it,” she paused, and inhaled, then exhaled. “But, there’s a part of me that is worried that this won’t go well, won’t end well. That there will be some thinly veiled insult on your parents’ part, and we’ll storm out, or Bekah will kick them out,” she finally admitted, but they both knew who she was really concerned about. Him.

His expression softened, “Hayley,” he said in a low, husky voice, “I’ll be fine. Thank you for… caring, but I promise you I will be fine. I will get through this. Besides, this isn’t really about me. This is about Hope’s first family Thanksgiving,” he said, but when she gave him a look, he added, “and, Nadia is meeting the family. Officially. So, it’s not about me, and how much I hate being in the same room as my father, but about her, and what this will mean to her,” he told her firmly, with finality, and she nodded. “So, I will be fine. Okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, and lifted her hands to smooth his jacket and shirt. There wasn’t really anything to smooth, any creases to straighten, and she was doing this out of nervousness, but Elijah wasn’t saying anything about it, so she didn’t either. Instead, she just laid her palm against his chest, and let out a deep breath, relaxing as she felt his heartbeat thrum against her palm.

“Though, I am slightly jealous of Niklaus for being on-call. He’s got an easy excuse to escape,” he chuckled, and she rolled her eyes. “And, Marcel is working tonight, apparently,” he added with a shrug, but she stiffened at that.

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow. “And, just who is he avoiding? Rebekah?”

Elijah sighed, and stepped back slightly, “I think they just need some space after…” he paused, shut his eyes briefly before opening them again, “everything.”

She pursed her lips, “right,” she muttered. “Just saying, tonight of all nights?” she added, though it sounded more like a question. Elijah didn’t say anything, and just shrugged. [Rebekah’s miscarriage hadn’t exactly stayed a secret for very long. Cami and Davina both found out during girls’ night after Rebekah had had a little too much wine, but Hayley was pretty sure that hadn’t been a bad think, not entirely at least. At least, Rebekah could now talk to Cami and Cami could give her some proper advice, even if unofficially. And, Davina hadn’t told Kol, so there was that. Come to think of it, Kol was the only one of Rebekah’s siblings, other than Henrik who didn’t know. And, Finn, but he was out of the picture. Klaus had found out from Marcel because while Rebekah had a sister, and at least two-future sisters-in-law, plus whoever Hayley was to her - because she refused to really think of herself as a future sister-in-law – on her side. All the girls were there for Rebekah, but Marcel didn’t really have anyone, not at first. So, he’d told Klaus. And, had also told Elijah, though that hadn’t really been planned. Apparently, at some point the fact that Marcel hadn’t been there for most of the ordeal had gotten to him, and he’d kind of gone off on Elijah that Hayley herself was the one who had been there for Rebekah through it all. So, Elijah had found out, too. At least, now, Hayley didn’t have to keep this secret from him].

“Yeah, I suppose it’s not the best timing. But, there really isn’t much we can do about it now, so we just have to leave it,” he sighed, but from the tension in his shoulders, she could see that this was bothering him, at least slightly. But, she didn’t say anything and just nodded.

“Speaking of Marcel and Klaus, how was ring shopping?” she asked as she rummaged through jewelry box, looking for her leaf pendant which dangled from a long chain and was perfect for the dress she was wearing.

“It was good, Niklaus picked one,” he told her. “After several hours of lengthy deliberations,” he added, rolling his eyes.

“I’m still mad he didn’t take me and Rebekah with him,” she pouted slightly, and Elijah chuckled.

“What did you tell me?” he quipped, “’don’t be such a baby’? Well, right back at you, Dr. Marshall,” he remarked, though his tone was light and teasing, and she shook her head, chuckling.

“So? Which one did he get?” she asked curiously, bouncing slightly on her heels like a kid of Christmas. But, this was her best friend and the father of her child, after all.

“Hmm, well, I promised Niklaus I wouldn’t tell anyone,” Elijah started hesitantly, but Hayley shook her head.

“Uh uh, mister,” she said, glaring at him, “you are not getting off that easily. Need I remind you, just who your brother is marrying? One of my best friends. Also, I forgave him for not taking me and Rebekah ring shopping, so you are obligated to show me those pictures. And, if you don’t, well, I have my ways,” she drawled, and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Humph,” Elijah groaned, and shook his head in exasperation. “You are impossible,” he remarked.

She grinned, “but you love me anyways,” she quipped, and he laughed playfully.

“That I do,” he smirked, and then he stepped closer to her, and she reached for him instantly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her. Their lips met halfway, breaths mingling, tongues tangling together, teeth nipping, and biting, and sucking as Elijah’s hands sank in her hair. After a few seconds, he pulled away, and sighed heavily in defeat before pulling out his phone. “Fine, you win,” he muttered against her lips, and she smirked, rubbing her nose against his slightly before he took a step back. Finally, after a few seconds of clicking the touchscreen, he flipped the phone over to her, showing her a single picture from his photo album.

Hayley gasped, “wow,” as she stared at it. The ring was beautiful, and she was sure Cami would like it. It was the classic white gold Tiffany’s model, with a pave setting and diamond band and it was absolutely stunning. “Oh my God, this is stunning. Cami is going to love it,” she grinned at him, and Elijah chuckled.

“See? Us boys aren’t so hopeless after all,” he quipped, and she snorted at that. “So, does this mean the ring has the best friend’s stamp of approval?”

She nodded earnestly, “yeah,” she grinned, “it does. Good job,” she tilted her head pecked his cheek.

“I hope you will approve of this, too,” he said after a while, and she snapped her gaze over to his, nodding for him to go on, but Elijah hesitated, seeming unusually nervous.

“Elijah?” she asked softly, “what is it?”

He licked his lips nervously, “I, uh, I got you something. A gift I suppose, but also something else,” he glanced down sheepishly, and she was almost sure he was blushing slightly, but she wasn’t about to call him out on it. Whatever it was that had Elijah acting like a teenager about to ask his girlfriend to prom… she paused, and her gaze flickered to his once more.

“Elijah,” she said slowly, her voice barley above a whisper, “you’re not going to propose, are you?” she finally asked, her heart hammering against her chest. Elijah’s eyes widened slightly, and he made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, something between a cough and a laugh before he finally shook his head.

“No,” he said simply. “We both know we’re not ready for that step, and also, if I was proposing, I would have bigger plans than this. No, this isn’t a proposal. But, I do have a ring,” he said, and finally took something from his pocket. It was a small ring box and he held it in his uninjured hand for a few seconds, his fingers gripping it firmly. Finally, he handed it to her, “remember, it’s not an engagement ring. But, just, uh, just open it,” he said softly, and averted his gaze once more.

With a sigh, she ran her thumb over the lid of the box before finally opening, and she gasped, her eyes widening as she stared at the ring that sat in the box. It was… well, beautiful was a simple way to put it. The ring had a gold band which formed infinity knots all around and was encrusted with diamonds and moonstones. Her birthstone. Hayley shivered at the significance of it all.

“Elijah…” she trailed off, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t- I don’t know what to say,” she admitted in a breathless whisper.

Finally, Elijah looked up, but there was a certain tension in his expression, in the way his shoulders were set, a certain apprehension, like he was scared. “Do you-” he paused, and took a deep breath, “do you not like it? Because, we can change it or something I-” he rambled, slightly flushed, and as much as she thought it was adorable, she decided to put him out of his misery and shushed him by stepping forward and resting her thumb against his lips.

“Shh,” she whispered huskily. “I love it,” she finally said after several long seconds, “it’s beautiful. Absolutely stunning, Elijah, I… the moonstone, how did you know?” she stared at him, her hazel eyes boring into his dark brown ones.

“That it’s your birthstone? Rebekah,” he shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. “You never told me your birthday was June sixth,” he said, but he didn’t sound mad, just maybe a little sad.

It was her turn to avert her gaze and sigh heavily, “I just-” she bit her lip, and Elijah cupped her chin and lifted it so she would meet his gaze.

“What is it?” he asked gently, and the look he gave her was filled with love, and understanding, and patience, and Hayley couldn’t help but wonder how did she get so lucky, how did she manage to find such a good man, and he saw past her broken parts and loved her, all of her.

“I just- I never really celebrated my birthday. When I was with Jackson, I was lucky if I managed to work on my birthday. And, before Jackson,” she paused, and reached for his hand with her free one, lacing their fingers together and squeezed it lightly. Just who she was reassuring though, she wasn’t sure. “Before Jackson I was on my own. I mean, I grew up in foster care, Elijah, and that isn’t exactly a birthday-friendly space. At least, not in my experience. And then, my adoptive parents kicked me out when I was thirteen,” she admitted, then shook her head, “no,” she muttered. “Like I said, my birthday is not a thing, so I didn’t tell you. Besides, we were barely dating a few weeks then, that’s hardly the appropriate time to tell you when my birthday was,” she sighed, and averted her gaze. But, Elijah didn’t let her wallow for long, and he cupped her chin, lifting her head to face him, and their gazes met.

“Well,” he drawled in a husky voice, “now it is. It’s my thing,” he said, and she couldn’t help but chuckle lightly as he leaned forward slightly to press a feather-light kiss to her forehead. “But, like I said, this isn’t just some really belated birthday gift, but also something more,” he took both her hands in his, closing the ring box, and keeping it clutched in their joined hands. “It’s a promise, Hayley,” he said softly, his voice low as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “A promise of my love for you. You are the love of my life, Hayley Marshall. And, I intend to never let you go. And, to always do right by you,” he said softly, his voice shaking slightly with emotion, and Hayley felt tears prickle at her eyes. Damn this man, only he could turn her insides to mush. And then, Elijah lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles before letting go of her hands.

“Oh, Elijah…” she whispered, a hint of astonishment her voice. And then, still clutching the box in her hand, she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him towards her, their lips, slightly wet and salty from tears, crashing halfway, molding with each other, breaths mingling, tongues tangling together as Elijah gripped her waist, pulling her to him while she cupped the back of his neck with one hand, the other resting loosely on his shoulder, still clutching the ring box. The kiss was a lingering sort of kiss, though there was a slight urgency, a slight fervor to it, but it was also filled with comfort, and reassurance and love that words could never quite convey. Finally, when air became a necessity, they pulled away from each other, and Elijah rested his forehead against hers. “I love you, too,” she whispered hoarsely against his lips as she rubbed her nose against his.

“The ring? Do you genuinely like it?” he asked shyly, and she chuckled, nodding in earnest as she pulled away from him to open the box and slip the ring onto her index finger.

“I love it,” she said softly. “I really do. It’s perfect,” she told him, her voice filled with conviction. Then, she pecked him on the lips, and she was pretty sure it would have turned into more if her daughter’s shrill voice hadn’t interrupted, reminding them both that they had to go.

“Mom! We have to go or else Aunt Rebekah is send an army to get us!” she yelled, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort at her teasing, though Hayley wouldn’t put it past Rebekah to take some drastic action to get them there.

“Coming sweetie!” she yelled, and when Elijah leaned in for another kiss, she slapped him away, chuckling, before grabbing her jacket and purse and finishing with her jewelry, ignoring his pouting behind her. A few seconds later, once they were both ready, they left the room to join the two inpatient girls in the living room. Hayley went to the kitchen to grab the pumpkin pie from the fridge before joining the girls and Elijah.

“Are we all ready?” Elijah asked, scanning them all quickly. 

“Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “Shall we?”

Elijah smiled, “yes. Let’s go.” And, together, they left his place, the pumpkin pie safely in Hayley’s hands while the girls walked beside them.

* * *

When they arrived at Rebekah’s place, everyone except for Kol and Davina, and Freya and Keelin were there, and Rebekah opened the door.

“Auntie Bex!” Hope exclaimed, rushing over to hug her aunt, and Rebekah immediately returned the hug.

“Hello, sweet girl!” she said, kissing the top of Hope’s head. “Happy Thanksgiving,” she added with a smile.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Hope said cheerfully as she took off her coat.

“Hello, Rebekah,” Elijah said by way of greeting and went over to hug his sister, the two of them exchanging cheek kisses before he took off his coat and went to help Hope with hers.

“And, you must be Nadia,” Rebekah said, smiling as she turned to Hayley and Nadia. “Hello, I’m Rebekah. Elijah’s younger sister,” she said softly.

“Hi,” Nadia said, stepping closer, “you already know my name. Apparently, I’m your niece,” she said snarkily, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort.

Rebekah chuckled, amused, “well, you’ve got Mikaelson snark already,” she observed, glancing over at Elijah. “Welcome to the family,” she added, and hugged Nadia lightly, who then went on to join her dad, taking off her leather jacket.

Rebekah turned to Hayley.

“Well, I smell something delicious,” she said, her lips breaking into a wide smile. Hayley chuckled, shaking her head.

“So, you’re not happy to see me? I’m just the bearer of pumpkin pie?” she quipped, pouting slightly mock-hurt.

“Very mature,” the blonde rolled her eyes. “Well, hello, you,” she said, and stepped forward, the two of them exchanging cheek kisses and a half hug, careful not to ruin the pie.

“You okay?” Hayley whispered, giving Rebekah a pointed look.

“Fine,” she shrugged, brushing it off in true Mikaelson fashion. “Let’s just hope I don’t murder my parents tonight,” she added, half-teasingly, and Hayley chuckled. Hayley handed over the pie before taking off her coat and joining Elijah and the girls. “Well, then,” Rebekah cleared her throat and smiled widely, “shall we?” she nodded towards the living room where the rest of the family was.

“Well, unfortunately we can’t avoid them, so…” Hayley trailed off with a shrug, and Elijah shot her a look that hid his amusement while Rebekah tried to stifle a laugh.

“They’re here!” Rebekah announced as she entered the living room, holding the pie.

“Daddy!” Hope squealed and ran over to Klaus, throwing her arms around him. Klaus managed to catch her just in time, and picked her up, spinning her slightly.

“Hello, sweetheart!” he said as he hugged her tightly. He flashed Hayley a smile over Hope’s shoulder, and Hayley smiled fondly in their direction before turning to everyone else. Except, she noticed that everyone except Klaus and Henrik was already having drinks, and she tensed.

Immediately, she glanced over at Elijah in concern, and reached for his hand, squeezing it.

“Are you gonna be okay?” she whispered, nodding her head towards the Mikaelsons, most of them holding glasses of wine.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he replied in a low whisper.

“Are you sure?” she asked, and not because she didn’t trust him, but because she needed to be sure. It was Mikael and Esther she didn’t trust not to say something that would send Elijah spiraling, or worse. “I need you to be sure,” she whispered quietly.

Elijah’s face softened, “yes, I’m sure,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to her temple. She nodded, and still holding his hand, led him to the Mikaelson parents, nudging Nadia along with them.

Esther smiled widely at them, “Hayley, Elijah. Hello,” she said and pulled Hayley into an awkward half hug.

“Hello, Esther,” she said tersely as she exchanged cheek kisses with her. “Happy Thanksgiving,” she added as she stepped back.

“Happy Thanksgiving. How nice of you to come,” Esther said, smiling tensely.

“Of course,” she muttered.

“Elijah,” Esther said and hugged Elijah, who returned the hug before kissing her cheek.

“Hello, mother,” he said tensely as he stepped back.

Mikael stepped forward then, and pulled Hayley into an awkward half-hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Hello, Hayley,” he greeted her, and she returned the gesture, plastering on a fake smile.

“Hello, Mikael,” she muttered tensely before stepping back, shuddering slightly.

Mikael turned to Elijah then, extending his hand for Elijah to shake. “Elijah,” he said gruffly.

“Father, hello,” Elijah muttered stiffly as Mikael pulled him towards him slightly.

“I hope you’ll behave yourself this time,” Mikael said quietly, though Hayley heard him, and chills ran down her spine at the threatening tone.

“Excuse me?” Elijah asked in a low whisper.

“It’s Thanksgiving after all,” Mikael practically growled. “I strongly suggest you don’t ruin it,” he hissed while Elijah stood there, his posture rigid, shoulders tense.

Hayley could practically see Elijah glare at his father, “I won’t if you refrain as well,” he growled and wrenched his arm from his father’s grasp. Then, he returned to her side, resting his hand on the small of her back, though he didn’t lose the tension and she could sense him practically shaking with anger beside her. But, she didn’t say anything, and instead simply reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and squeezed it lightly. Elijah squeezed hers back and tilted his head slightly, flashing her a quick, grateful smile.

But, their moment didn’t last long, and was soon interrupted by Esther, who had finally noticed Nadia standing next to her and Elijah.

“And, who might you be?” she asked, then turned to Elijah and Hayley. “I didn’t know you had the habit of taking on charity cases,” she added, and Hayley felt Elijah stiffen again, and she squeezed his hand again.

“Ouch, that hurts,” Naida quipped sarcastically, stepping forward. “And, I’m your granddaughter, not a charity case,” she added in a snarky tone, and Hayley did her best hide her smirk while trying not to laugh. Yeah, that was probably not what Esther and Mikael expected. But, Nadia was a Mikaelson through and through, and the Mikaelsons were no strangers to snark. And, she was also Katherine Petrova’s daughter. And, Katherine had her own brand of sass. If she was being honest, Hayley was kind of proud of the teenager.

Esther looked shocked while Mikael did his best to control his expression.

“Oh,” she muttered, staring at the teenager, her eyes wide. “Well, uh, it’s… it’s nice to meet you. I’m Esther,” she said and reached to shake Nadia’s hand. Nadia seemed unbothered and shook Esther’s hand.

“Nadia. Nice to meet you,” she said with a sweet smile, though Hayley could see that she felt a little awkward. Then, she pulled away and returned to Elijah’s side while Esther stood next to Mikael. 

Mikael, on the other hand, turned to Elijah. “So, I see you took a page out of your bastard brother’s book, huh?” he sneered. “Knocked up some girl in your youth, and now that mistake showed up to bite you, eh?” Hayley saw Nadia flinch, and she covered her mouth to stifle a gasp. Elijah tensed, and scowled, glaring at his father.

“I would watch it, father,” he growled, putting one arm around Nadia’s shoulders protectively. “I didn’t just knock up some girl. And, she isn’t a mistake. Nadia is my daughter. Mine and Katherine’s,” he said firmly, glaring furiously at his parents, mainly Mikael. “So, be careful how you speak to her,” he hissed. Hayley reached to pat his back lightly while Mikael opened his mouth to say something vile, but was prevented from doing so by Henrik.

“Lijah, Hayley!” the teenager exclaimed in greeting and ran over to hug his older brother. Elijah returned the hug eagerly, that tension he used to exhibit whenever Henrik was around, that hesitation and apprehension, no longer there. Now he seemed happy and relaxed as he greeted his youngest brother, and Hayley couldn’t help but smile proudly.

“Hey, there, Henirk,” Elijah said as he pulled away from Henrik to look at him. “You’ve grown up! You’re getting bigger and bigger every time I see you,” he said, ruffling his hair.

“Of course I am,” Henrik grinned. “If you saw me more often, you wouldn’t think so,” he added, and Elijah tensed slightly, though Henrik wasn’t trying to be mean. And, this time the tension was neither Henrik’s nor Elijah’s fault. This time, it mostly had to do with Elijah not wanting to see Mikael and Esther. And, Hayley didn’t blame him.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Elijah muttered apologetically. “Things have been a bit crazy around here,” he said.

“It’s okay, don’t sweat it, ‘Lijah. Just as long as you come to my game next weekend,” Henrik said lightly, shrugging.

“Will do, Henrik,” Elijah smiled and nodded in agreement. Hayley smiled fondly at them.

Nadia turned to her, “so, whose long-lost kid is he?” she asked, and Hayley couldn’t help but snort. Elijah, and Henrik also chuckled.

“Henrik is my youngest brother, Nadia,” Elijah explained. “Henrik, meet Nadia, my daughter. Nadia, meet Henrik,” he introduced.

Henrik held out his hand for Nadia to shake, “don’t even think about calling me ‘Uncle Henrik’,” he quipped, and Hayley couldn’t help but chuckle.

Nadia just grinned and shook his hand, “I’ll try,” she said with a small smirk. “It’s nice to meet you,” she added.

“Ah, there you are,” Klaus said as he came towards them, sans Hope, but with Cami at his side. “Thought you three got lost somewhere along the way,” he added teasingly.

“Hello, Niklaus,” Elijah said with a tense smile, though that had nothing to do with Klaus. He was clearly still bothered by Mikael’s earlier comments.

“Hello, brother,” Klaus said by way of greeting, and pulled Elijah into a hug, clapping his back. While the two brothers greeted each other, Cami came over to Hayley and Nadia.

“Hey, you,” the blonde said with a smile, and immediately pulled Hayley into a hug.

“Hey, Cami,” Hayley grinned, and hugged the other woman, the two of them exchanging cheek kisses. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m good, thanks,” the blonde smiled. “How are you?”

“Good, busy. Finished shift, went to mine to make the pumpkin pie, went to Elijah’s to get ready. Like I said, busy,” she said with a smile.

“I’m surprised you guys are still going between his place and yours. Have you really not considered just settling down in one place?”

“Nah, it’s fine, really. Works for us. Usually I stay at Elijah’s when Hope is at Klaus’, and Elijah stays with us when she’s with me. But, things just got a little complicated with Nadia and the pumpkin pie. I needed to go to my place to bake the pie,” she said with a shrug, though she had to admit that Cami did have a point. It would be much easier if they lived in the same place. But, for one, her lease wasn’t done yet, and for two, she wasn’t sure if they were ready for that level of commitment.

“I just can’t believe you managed to bake a pumpkin pie with everything,” Cami said in a light tone.

“Eh,” Hayley shrugged, “I managed. Somehow,” she chuckled.

Cami then turned to Nadia, “hello, Nadia. My name’s Cami, we haven’t met yet. I’m Klaus’ girlfriend,” she said, introducing herself and held out her hand for Nadia to shake.

“Hi,” Nadia smiled. “It’s nice to meet you,” she shook Cami’s hand, and the blonde then rubbed her shoulder lightly.

“Hey, Nadia!” Hope yelled, causing the brunette teenager to look up. “Wanna join us? We’re playing monopoly!” she said as she stood next to Henri, who was holding a box that contained the board game.

Nadia looked around, then shrugged, “sure, why not?” Hayley patted her shoulder lightly, and Nadia went to join Hope and Henrik, leaving the adults chatting.

“C’mon, let’s go join, Rebekah,” Cami said after a while.

“Sure,” Hayley smiled, grateful for the out. The less time she spent with Mikael and Esther, the better for everyone.

“I’m gonna go to help, Bekah, okay?” she said to Elijah quietly, and he nodded. She pecked his cheek, then followed after Cami to the kitchen, leaving Klaus and Elijah with the Mikaelson parents.

“Oh, good. You’re here,” Rebekah beamed. “You can help, then.”

* * *

With the three of them working together, dinner was ready soon, and after setting everything on the table, they called everyone to sit down. Rebekah, ever the gracious host, served drinks as everyone sat down. Rebekah sat at the head of the table, then Henrik, Mikael and Esther on one side, then Cami at the other end, Klaus and Hope, then her, and Elijah sat next to her with Nadia on Elijah’s other side next to Rebekah. There was an empty spot if Kol showed up, but Hayley doubted it. Kol was probably happier to be spending Thanksgiving at the fire station with Davina than with his dysfunctional family. She couldn’t really blame him.

After they all sat down, Esther cleared her throat. “Shall we say Grace before we begin?” she suggested, and almost everyone murmured some sort of agreement if not enthusiastically. “Mikael?” she prompted.

“Right,” he muttered gruffly, and reached to take her hand, then Henrik’s. Soon, everyone joined hands, Hope holding both hers and Klaus’, beaming with excitement while Hayley took Elijah’s.

After Mikael recited a brief ‘Grace’, everyone muttered “amen”, bowing their heads slightly. But, despite the normality of the tradition, it felt awkward and forced, though that was the norm anytime the Mikaelson parents were invited to dinner. Or, more accurately, whenever they invited themselves to dinner.

“I for one have another tradition in mind,” Rebekah said as soon as they all let go of their hands. “A Thanksgiving tradition. We each say what we are grateful for,” she explained with a smile. “I think there’s a lot to be grateful for this year,” she added when no one said anything. “Fine, I’ll start,” she sighed, and lifted her wine glass. “This year, I’m grateful for my family, for finishing this year more united than we started. I’m grateful that Elijah came back to us from the army unscathed,” she smiled at Elijah, who flashed her a quick smile. “And, I’m grateful for the coincidence that Hayley chose to come here to New Orleans when she left her,” she paused, her eyes flickering to her and Hope, “dastardly ex-husband. Because of that, I got to meet my niece and be an auntie,” she beamed, “and, got another sister as much as I love Freya,” she said, flashing Hayley another smile. “So, who’s next?” Rebekah asked, looking around at her family. “Henrik?” she prompted.

Slowly, the table went around, saying what they were grateful for. Mikael and Esther managed to be pleasant if not sweet. Klaus ended up being sweet and sappy, looking adoringly into Cami’s eyes before kissing the top of Hope’s head. Hope said in a very sweet and adorable way thank you to her for bringing her to her dad. And then, it was her turn.

She took a deep breath and took her glass of wine, “I grew up in foster care. I’ve never really done Thanksgiving. Maybe once or twice, but I barely remember. Then, my foster parents kicked me out when I was thirteen. So, no Thanksgiving after that. And then, I got married,” she paused, and looked nervously at her daughter, then Elijah, “and, well, there’s a reason my marriage ended. Jackson and I…,” Elijah tensed at the mention of her ex-husband’s name, “we didn’t do Thanksgiving. Because I was a junior resident working crazy hours,” she smiled softly. “So, I guess what I’m grateful for is this. Thanksgiving. Dinner with family. Family. And, true love,” she reached and squeezed Elijah’s hand. “But, what I’m most grateful for is my little girl. She makes me brave,” she winked at Hope who just rolled her eyes.

“Mom, you’re being too sappy,” Hope whined, pouting slightly.

“Shh,” Klaus whispered. “When you’re a parent, you’ll understand.”

Hayley continued, “and, Elijah,” she said softly, “you taught me what real love is,” she smiled. “Thank you.” Then, she leaned forward and kissed him. He was caught off-guard at first, but he quickly relaxed and returned the kiss.

They were interrupted by Rebekah, “okay, love birds, that’s enough,” she hissed, and Hayley pulled away, both her and Elijah chuckling, Elijah hiding his face in her hair as he pressed a kiss to her temple. “Elijah, your turn,” she added once Elijah finally pulled away. Hayley found it endearing that every time Elijah and her were caught in a public display of affection, her boyfriend hid his face in her hair as if he was embarrassed.

He didn’t take a glass, but instead took her hand in his, “I, uh, I have a lot to be grateful for this year, but I’m most grateful for, you, Hayley,” he turned to look into her eyes deeply, and her expression softened. “You saved me more times than I can count ever since the moment we met. And, I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough. So, thank you,” he lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles to the ‘awws’ of his family. “I love you,” he added in a low whisper.

“I love you, too, baby,” she smiled at him before leaning forward to kiss him again. This time, he was expecting it, and he pulled her in for a deeper kiss.

Klaus cleared his throat, “okay, you two, that’s quite enough,” he said, and they pulled away to find him smirking smugly.

“Yeah,” Hope whined, “that’s gross,” she quipped, and Hayley mock-glared at her daughter. It probably wasn’t a very adult reaction, but her and Elijah weren’t really acting like adults. They laughed, and Elijah, unsurprisingly, hid his face in her hair, pressing another kiss to her temple. Finally, they both calmed down enough to turn their attention back to the table only to find that everyone else had turned to Nadia, who was staring at her plate.

Elijah immediately turned to his daughter, “hey, sweetheart, you know you don’t have to. No one is forcing you to do anything here,” he whispered quietly, though Hayley heard him.

“I’m fine,” the teenager mumbled before clearing her throat and lifting her head to face them. She fixed her grandparents with a firm look before turning towards Elijah. “Um, I… I, uh- thank you for letting me come tonight. And, for not turning your back on me when you found out the truth,” she said softly. Elijah swallowed thickly, emotion clear on his face, but he didn’t say anything and instead wrapped his free arm around Nadia, pulling her to him slightly, kissing the top of her head affectionately.

“Of course,” he muttered, and Hayley squeezed his other hand.

“Right, well, let’s eat. Who would like to carve the turkey?” Rebekah said, easily distracting everyone from the obviously emotional father-daughter moment Elijah and Nadia were having. “Nik?” she prompted, flashing her older brother a mischievous smile.

Klaus grinned, “sure, why not?” He stood up and set about carving the turkey, and Rebekah helped him serve it. Hayley started passing around food and once everyone had mashed potatoes with gravy, beans and other grilled vegetables, cranberry sauce and turkey and yams piled on their plates they all settled down to eat.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Rebekah said with a smile. “Bon appétit,” she added, and everyone, as if they’d been waiting for her permission, dug in. As soon as conversation started, Hayley regretting not sitting next to Cami, so she’d have someone to quietly chat to. Rebekah was talking to Nadia, interrogating her and firing twenty questions to her while Henrik tried to put the poor girl at ease and keep his older sister from asking too-probing questions. Elijah was engaged in a tense conversation about work with his mother while Klaus and Mikael were talking about work, too. Hayley wondered if medicine and work were the only things the Mikaelson parents and their children could talk about. And, Cami was entertaining Hope which warmed Hayley’s heart. With no one to talk to, Hayley just stuffed her face and tried to tune out the conversations around her.

“This is delicious, Bekah, by the way,” she said, flashing the blonde a quick smile.

“I’m glad you like it,” Rebekah smiled.

* * *

Elijah tried to enjoy dinner, he really did because his sister had made an effort and because he owed it to Nadia to be doing this, but his patience for his parents was wearing thin. He didn’t blame Hayley for simply focusing on eating. Saying things were tense was an understatement.

Finally, Henrik stood up and asked both Hope and Nadia to go watch a movie, and the two of them followed after him.

“I’ll go make you guys some popcorn,” Rebekah said, standing up and going to the kitchen. Once she was gone, all attention turned to Mikael and Niklaus who were arguing quietly about Niklaus’ promotion to Head of General Surgery, which their father was apparently not so thrilled about. 

Mikael cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink, “honestly, Niklaus,” he grumbled, causing Elijah to look up, and even Hayley and Cami turned to them. “I don’t understand why you couldn’t wait. That promotion was obviously not going anywhere. If Francesca Correra was the best Vincent could do as Head of General, well…” he paused and wiped his chin, “he was obviously not investing much in the general department,” he observed.

Niklaus tensed, “well, father, Francesca might not have been the best in the field, but she wasn’t horrible. And, what are you trying to say? He promoted me, and I was already working harder than anyone in General. I think it’s safe to say that was an investment for him,” his brother said, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he shoved another forkful of turkey into his mouth.

“Oh, Niklaus, don’t be so dramatic,” Mikael snapped, rolling his eyes, and Elijah tensed. “I’m just saying, you could have waited a few years. Done a few fellowships, so that you were a little more worthwhile than a general surgeon,” he gritted his teeth. “Pathetic,” he spat, and beside him, Hayley let out an audible gasp while he inhaled sharply. He noticed his brother flinch, while Cami reached for Niklaus, grabbing ahold of his arm. For a moment, no one said anything, and Elijah glanced between his brother and father.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Klaus quipped, “father,” he added, his voice dripping with disgust and hate as he said that.

“I’m warning you, boy,” Mikael growled, and Elijah resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _Was his father being serious?_ Niklaus was a grown man, not a child as much as he sometimes acted like one. But, that was just Niklaus being Niklaus. Niklaus snorted, and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by his pager. Elijah exhaled. Perhaps his brother was about to get an out. He grabbed it and after one glance at it, stood up.

“While I would love to stay here and rehash all the ways I’ve disappointed you, father,” he said cynically, “I have to go. There are lives to save. Lives that depend on _me_ ,” he said firmly as he put on his coat. “Quite… pathetic, isn’t it?” he added, glaring at Mikael. He exchanged a quick kiss with his girlfriend and patted his and Hayley’s shoulders. And then, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

Hayley stood up, and so did Camille, “I’m gonna go check on the kids,” she said softly. She kissed his cheek, and then stood up and left, Camille not far behind.

“And, I’m going to go help Rebekah in the kitchen,” his mother said, standing up from the table, shooting his father a pointed look. As soon as the room was clear, Elijah turned to his father, and took a deep breath. He counted backwards from ten. Then, he released it. And then, finally, he broke the silence.

“Really, father?” he snapped, glaring at his father. He had had _enough_. “Was that absolutely necessary? What? We can’t go one holiday, one family dinner without you and mother making your disappointment in us clear? Can we just for once, just once, have a normal family dinner? Apparently not,” he rolled his eyes. “Because we are not a normal family apparently. I mean, Kol preferred spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend at a fire station than with you. And, Freya? She decided to work on Thanksgiving so she wouldn’t have to deal with your disappointment!” he was shouting now, and he took another deep breath to calm himself. “And, Finn? Oh, don’t even-” but this time, his father interrupted him.

“They’re not the disappointment, Elijah!” he snapped loudly, his voice booming, and Elijah winced slightly. “Oh, sure Kol is a womanizer, though I think there’s hope for him and the little firefighter. I like her, you know?” he laughed bitterly, and Hayley exchanged a look with Rebekah this time. “And, Freya? How could I be disappointed in my first child? She’s just going through a phase, but she is a successful woman devoted to her career. I’m not even disappointed in Finn, even though he spends his time gallivanting through Europe. He’s being a businessman, and besides, he was always queasy around blood. I’m not disappointed in Rebekah. She’s a rich lawyer doing well for herself, and I’m glad her and Marcellus are getting on well. I’m not even disappointed in Niklaus. He’s not my son, just a bastard from your mother’s mistake, so I have no expectations for him. He can’t disappoint me. No, Elijah, you want to know who I’m really disappointed in?” he asked, and Elijah swallowed thickly, though he was unable to move, rooted to the spot. “You. You are my biggest disappointment, Elijah,” he finally said, and Elijah flinched, his jaw practically dropping. “You are weak. And, you are a failure. You failed at keeping your wife interested, so she stepped out on you. You failed at sobriety. You failed at your job. And,” he paused, and locked his jaw, “you failed at being a father! You have a daughter?” his father chuckled bitterly. “I feel sorry for her because she has to have you as a father. Like you can actually be one. Like you could be one to Jonathan!” he yelled, and Elijah saw red, but still he didn’t move. And, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. His hand be damned, he was ready to punch his father, but he physically couldn’t. He couldn’t move. His eyes burned with tears that threatened to spill, but he fought them back, refusing to let his father see him cry. As much as Mikael said he was weak, he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing him weak. Seeing him break. When Mikael spoke next, his voice dropped, but Elijah could still hear the inflection in it, “I mean, how could you be, huh?” he sneered. “You’re weak. And, you are a failure. And, you’ve got absolutely no value to me. _You_ , Elijah,” his voice dropped to a low whisper, “ _you_ are my biggest disappointment.”

Elijah didn’t say anything, he had no response. He couldn’t say anything. He just blinked back tears and let out a heavy sigh.

“Goodbye, father,” he muttered, practically between his teeth. And then, he turned around and left, going to get Hayley, Hope and Nadia. He couldn’t be here anymore. Except, he found his daughter when he exited the room.

“Who’s Jonathan?” she asked as she stared at him, her lower lip quivering, her eyes filled with tears.

“Not here, not now,” he said quietly. “Let’s go.”

* * *

The drive from Rebekah’s was tense, so tense you could probably cut through the tension with a knife. Hope was chattering quietly, though no one was really paying attention because Hayley was focused on him while Nadia kept asking who was Jonathan and what Mikael had meant. But, Elijah ignored her, instead focusing on the road, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white.

“Elijah!” Hayley yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he turned to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly instantly apologetic. “I was just… distracted…” he trailed off.

“Yeah, I know,” she gave him a pointed look. “I was saying we need to go to the hospital. Keelin just called me,” she paused, and bit her lip, “it’s Jackson. Apparently, he was hit by a bus. So, I need to be there,” she said softly.

Elijah’s eyebrows shot up and he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Are you kidding me? Hayley, no, you don’t- you don’t need to go,” he shook his head vehemently. “You don’t,” he paused and took a deep breath, then released it, “you don’t owe that asshole anything,” he hissed in a low whisper.

“I-” she stopped herself and sighed, “I know I don’t. But, legally, I’m still his wife. And, still his emergency contact. So, I need to be there…” she trailed off, shrugging.

He gritted his teeth, “I don’t… you shouldn’t… it’s not right,” he shook his head.

Her expression softened, “I know. And, I know it bothers you, and I’m sorry. But, I have to go. I have to- Keelin said he could be,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “it could be a brain injury. A really bad one. So, he could be, y’know,” she said and he nodded. “And, if that’s the case, I need to be there. You know that,” she said softly, and he sighed, nodding in defeat. She was right. And, he knew it.

“I hate that you’re right,” he sighed, and switched lanes.

“I know,” she whispered and reached across the space between them to squeeze his arm gently.

“Damn it!” Nadia yelled from the backseat, causing both him and Hayley to turn briefly.

“What is it, Nadia?” Hayley asked softly.

But, Nadia ignored Hayley and instead focused on him. “Are you seriously going to ignore me?” she snapped, glaring at him. “Are you seriously going to pretend I didn’t hear about Jonathan? Who is he?” she demanded.

Elijah sighed and squeezed his eyes shut in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Hayley glanced over at him, but he didn’t need her to say anything to know what she was thinking. And, she was right. Again. He couldn’t ignore Nadia or lie to her.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “You have every right to know. But, not just from me,” he glanced over at her. “Your mother needs to be there, too,” he said in a softer tone. Nadia opened her mouth to argue, but he continued, “don’t give me that. Jonathan… concerns your mother, too. She’s still at the hospital. We’ll drop Hayley and Hope off, then we’ll meet up with her and we’ll talk. Okay?” His voice was firm, leaving no room for arguments, and after a few seconds of staring into his eyes, Nadia nodded.

“Okay,” she whispered. Hayley flashed him a soft smile.

The rest of the drive was quiet, and soon he pulled into the employees’ parking lot of St. John’s Memorial. The four of them got out, and Hayley turned to him.

“Hey, can you drop Hope off with Freya? I already texted to let her know we’re coming, she’s free now,” she said as he shut the door behind her.

“Of course,” he nodded. She flashed him a quick smile before leaning over and pressing her lips to his. He returned the kiss, their tongues tangling together briefly before she pulled away as her phone rang again.

“It’s Keelin,” she whispered. “I have to go, Meredith Fell is doing the neuro exam now.”

“Of course,” he nodded, resigned. She turned to leave, but he stopped her, his fingers curling around her wrist, and she turned briefly to face him. “Hayley,” he whispered in a low voice, “whatever happens,” he paused, staring deeply into her eyes, “let me know. Call me. I don’t care what’s happening, just call me. Okay?”

She nodded, “okay,” she whispered. And then, she turned and raced to the hospital.

Elijah turned to the two girls. “Shall we?” he asked, and they nodded. They both grabbed ahold of his hands, and then him and Nadia walked Hope to Freya’s office before going to the cafeteria. Katherine was already there, a cup of coffee in front of her. She looked tired, her hair piled on top of her head in a bun, a few stray curls falling from it, framing her face. There were still some traces of makeup on her face and she was holding onto the cup like it was her lifeline.

He nudged Nadia forward, and Katherine looked up, her shoulders slumping upon seeing them.

“Katerina,” he said seriously. 

“Hello, Elijah,” she said softly, then turned to Nadia. “Hi.”

Nadia just ignored her and plopped down in the seat across from Katherine, leaving Elijah with no other choice than to sit down next to his ex-wife. He sighed heavily, then took a seat.

Nadia took a deep breath, then exhaled, “right,” she muttered, reaching to tuck her hair behind her ears. “You said you’d talk once mother dearest was here,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Nadia,” he admonished, flashing her a pointed look.

“So. Who is Jonathan? Why did Mikael say you failed as his father?” she asked, cutting to the chase. He had to admit, he liked that, he liked that she was strong, but he knew this was mostly because she was mad at him and Katherine.

Elijah took a deep breath, and his gaze dropped to the plastic table in front of him before he finally looked up and met his daughter’s gaze. “Jonathan was… he was m- he was our son,” he finally said, and he heard Katherine inhale sharply while Nadia stared at him, her eyes wide.

“Was?”

Slowly, he nodded. “Yes, was. H- he died three years ago,” he admitted. And then, words spilled from both his and Katherine’s mouths in between Katherine’s barely stifled sobs. Nadia just stared at them until they were done. Until they had told her everything, leaving out only his drinking and the part it played in Jonathan’s death. He wasn’t ready for her to know that, she was still a child, and he was grateful that Katherine didn’t say anything about it and went along with him.

Finally, when they were done, Nadia stared at them with big, brown, tear-filled eyes. She sniffled, and reached up to wipe at her eyes, and Elijah’s heart clenched at the sight. He wanted to reach for her, to comfort her, but he didn’t. She took a deep breath, “wh-” she cut herself off and bit her lip, and he nodded for her to continue, “what made him different?” she finally asked and he blinked, his eyes widening slightly. “Why… why did you want him and not me?” she asked, her voice practically breaking into a sob and Elijah felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He opened his mouth to say something, to try to make it better, but Katherine beat him to it. “Nothing, darling,” she said softly. “Nothing really made him special. You are both our children, so of course… if we were all one family, he wouldn’t be more special. We just- he was the son we had because we wanted to,” she sighed, and Elijah pursed his lips. By the look on Nadia’s face, it was clear that didn’t help. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know that is tough to hear-” she started, but Nadia cut her off.

“Tough to hear? Thanks, mom, for your observation,” she snapped sarcastically. Elijah sighed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His daughter was too snarky for her own good, too much like a Mikaelson.

“Your mother didn’t mean it like that-” he cut in, but Katherine cut him off. It seemed he wasn’t allowed to be part of his conversation.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I know that hurts to hear. What child wants to hear that her parents didn’t plan on her, that her mother didn’t want her and w- was forced to have her by her own parents?” Katherine sighed and took a sip of her coffee before reaching for Nadia’s hand, but the girl snatched her hand away. “No one wants to hear that. You know, my parents didn’t plan on having your aunt Elena either. And, they didn’t have the money for a third child, but they wouldn’t- Eventually, they decided to give her up for adoption in the States. I think it worked out better for her, in the end. But I… I couldn’t- I couldn’t fully give you up, so they offered to take you. I agreed. And, I didn’t tell your father because back then we barely knew each other,” she admitted. “And, I didn’t tell him for the entire time we were together. So, really, you can’t be mad at him,” she said and he couldn’t help but stare at her.

“I’m mad at both of you,” Nadia muttered, gritting her teeth.

“We know,” he sighed, and flashed Katherine a half-smile.

“But, you don’t really have a reason to be mad at your father. Because he didn’t know. He had absolutely no idea you existed. And, _that_ is on me,” she bowed her head. “I’m sorry, my darling daughter. I am really sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. But, I will not apologize for having Jonathan. Because while he might be gone, and while your father and I have caused each other a lot of pain,” she paused, and Elijah shot her a glare, but she ignored him, “for those four years that we had Jonathan we were the happy. As happy as we are now, with you. Because you are both our children, and we love you. We always will,” she said and reached for Naida’s hand. This time, Nadia let him and held out her other hand to him. With a sigh, he reached for it with his uninjured hand, and took it, holding it gently.

“Okay,” Nadia whispered softly. “That’s all I have to say. Okay.”

“Okay,” he nodded, flashing her a small smile, and squeezed her hand.

They sat there like that for several long minutes, and were only interrupted by his phone ringing. He gave both of them an apologetic look before reaching for it. It was Hayley. Katherine shrugged, so he picked it up.

“Hayley?” he said bringing it to his ear.

“Hey,” she said shakily, “I just- you said to call if…” she trailed off, and he heard heavy breathing on the other end.

“Oh.”

“He’s brain dead,” she finally said after a while. Elijah sighed heavily and ran his injured hand through his hair.

“Hayley, I-” he started to say, but cut himself off.

“Can you, uh, can you come to the ICU please?” she said after a few seconds.

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”


	38. And, If I’m Dead to You, Why Are You at the Wake?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of got away from me. It was meant to be shorter, but as this story is reaching its conclusion, I seem unable to write shorter chapters. Maybe because I really want to finish TAOL on 40 chapters, seems like a nice number to end it on. More on that later. But, yeah, this one ended with just under 10K words. Crazy! I considered splitting it into 2 chapters, but like I said, I kind of want to end this story on 40, plus splitting would have been more work for me as I would’ve had to work out just HOW to split it. It’s not an exact science, cut it right down the middle type thing. Anyways. That was a lot of rambling from me. I usually don’t do that. I hope you enjoy this monster chapter and the rest of this story!   
> As always, thank you for your support! ❤️

Elijah found Hayley in the ICU, sitting in one of the few plastic chairs next to one of the sliding doors that separated each ICU bed area. She was still wearing her clothes from the dinner, but they were rumpled, likely from sitting in that uncomfortable chair, and her makeup was slightly smudged, but she still looked as beautiful as ever. Tired, but beautiful nonetheless. He sat down next to her, and she looked up, immediately reaching for his hand. He laced their fingers together and tilted his head to press a kiss to her temple. She relaxed beneath his touch, practically melting into him as he hugged her.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Everything okay?”

She shrugged when they pulled slightly apart, both of them shifting so they were still facing each other, his arm draped around her shoulders. “As fine as I can be, I guess,” she sighed, and he nodded. Silence descended between the two of them as they continued to sit there, Hayley resting her head on his shoulder, his lips in her hair. Elijah had to admit that, as horrible as it made him, there wasn’t a part of him that felt sad about the news. He couldn’t even feel bad for her, for her hurt, and he knew that made him a bad person, but at this point he didn’t really care. He hated Jackson, and everything he had done to Hayley, every way he had hurt her, and he couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad about it.

“It’s okay to be sad,” he said after a while, and Hayley tilted her head look at him, surprise written all over her face.

“What?”

“I know he hurt you, I know you were in the middle of getting a divorce, but I also know he was your husband, and if you’re pretending not to be sad on my account, don’t, because it’s okay. It’s okay to be sad about it,” he said and for a moment neither of them sad anything as Hayley stared up at him, an unreadable expression on her face. And then, understanding dawned on her, and her expression softening.

“Oh, Elijah,” she whispered and reached up to cup the back of his neck, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck absently. “You think I’m sad?”

“Aren’t you?”

She made a sound that was between a snort and a scoff of disbelief, and shook her head before finally opening her mouth, “I’m not,” she said firmly. “I can’t believe you thought I was…” she trailed off, and chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m not sad, Elijah. I’m just… I don’t know what I feel. Relief, maybe? I don’t know. But, I’m not- I’m not sad. I’m okay, just… I wish I didn’t have to deal with this. But, I’m his wife, still, at least where the legality is concerned. So…” she trailed off, shrugging again, and he nodded, a part of him relieved that she wasn’t hurting over this.

“Okay,” he said softly and pressed another kiss to the side of her head. “So, what now?” he asked after a while. [Obviously, as a doctor himself, he knew what was happening next, clinically, at least. He knew the process of declaring brain death. There were about eight steps to it, but he didn’t know at what stage they were. If he had to guess, it had to be after notifying the patient’s Surrogate Decision-maker, in this case Hayley, which meant they could be checking the brain stem reflexes or performing the apnea test, or maybe the ancillary testing, if indicated. He also had no idea if Jackson or Hayley would have any religious or moral objections to brain death]. So, while he knew the process, while he knew what had to happen clinically, he still asked.

Hayley sighed, “I think Meredith’s doing the apnea test now. I know they did the brain stem. Nothing. Honestly, I wish she’d just hurry up because this wait is worse than if she just told me. I just- I just want to get it over with, and go home with you, and not think about this. And, I have a feeling, y’know?”

He nodded, “yeah,” he sighed, and held her tighter, kissing her hair again. When he pulled away, she tilted her head and nuzzled his cheek with her nose, scrunching her face slightly at his scruff scratching her skin slightly before she pressed her lips to his cheek.

“Thanks for coming so quickly,” she said softly against his skin, and he shuddered. She pressed another kiss to his lips before pulling away to rest her head on his shoulder once again, and reached for his hand again, lacing their fingers together. He lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles before the two of them fell into comfortable silence once again. Elijah didn’t know what Hayley was thinking about, though judging by the little crease between her eyebrows it was likely something to do with Jackson, but he didn’t really… he couldn’t really think about that. Because, as he held his girlfriend, as he let the silence settle between them, as the stress of telling Nadia about Jonathan dissipated, he let himself remember what Mikael has said. And, as much as it hurt, as painful as that had been, he couldn’t help but think that some of it was true. No, not some of it. Most of it. He tightened his grip on Hayley unconsciously, and she looked up. “Ouch,” she whispered, and he let go, instantly apologetic.

“Forgive me, please,” he muttered, but she shook her head.

“No, it’s fine, I just- are you okay?” she asked, looking at him carefully, her hazel eyes boring into his.

He wanted to nod, to tell her he was fine, but she would know he wasn’t. So, instead he settled for a vague response, “I’m fine, I just- I was just thinking…” he sighed.

“About Nadia?”

For a minute, he didn’t understand what she meant, but then he remembered. And, it was so easy, _so much easier_ to talk about that and not outright lie, so he nodded, “yeah.”

“Did you and Katherine tell her about Jonathan?” Hayley peered at him, not breaking eye contact, and he nodded. “Everything?”

“More or less,” he shrugged. “We told her just about everything. Except-” he paused, and licked his lips nervously, “I- I didn’t tell her about my drinking. And, Katherine didn’t say anything either, for once,” he said. “I just- she’s fourteen. She’s my daughter. I know she’s not a child, not like Hope, but I- I can’t do it. Not yet. I’m not ready,” he let out a heavy sigh.

She nodded, her expression full of understanding, “I know,” she said softly. “I know how hard it is for you to talk about it,” she reached to cup his cheek, caressing his jaw tenderly. “To talk about Jonathan, too. I know that couldn’t have been easy.” He nodded, feeling his throat constrict and tears prickle at his eyes. “I’m proud of you for doing it,” her lips curled into a soft smile, and Elijah was certain he was about to burst into tears. _This woman was doing things to him, changing everything he knew_.

He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything, and instead he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own, his free hand cupping the side of her head, fingers sinking in her hair. Hayley reacted immediately, instinctively, her own hands sliding around his neck as she deepened the kiss, her lips molding with his, teeth nipping at his lower lip gently. He cradled her head in his hand as he continued to kiss her, a deep, probing kiss, his tongue exploring, tasting, tangling with hers.

“Love you,” he muttered against her lips, pulling only slightly away from her, panting slightly.

“Mm… want you,” she gasped against his lips, rubbing her nose against his as she began pulling at the collar of his jacket and his shirt, messing with the buttons, but not quite pushing it off. He laughed, the sound rumbling in his chest, and reached for her hand, pulling it away, gripping it lightly.

“Careful, Dr. Marshall, we are in an ICU,” he whispered against her lips, and she giggled before resting her hands on his chest.

“Sorry,” she whispered, giggling slightly, and he merely flashed her a fond smile.

“I want you, too,” he added, his voice hoarse, “just- just not here.” He kissed her again, chastely, and she pouted when he pulled away before them settled more comfortably in the chair, or as comfortably as they could in the plastic waiting room chairs.

A throat clearing alerted them, and they both looked up to find Meredith Fell standing in front of them, a chart in her hands and a somber expression on her face. Hayley immediately sat up, her shoulders slumping in relief while he tensed slightly, though he did sit up straighter.

“Meredith,” his girlfriend said with a heavy sigh.

“Hello, guys,” Meredith said softly, and he recognized the tone as the one used when talking to patients.

“Hello, Meredith,” he said tensely as he adjusted his arm around Hayley.

Meredith looked at Hayley again, practically ignoring him, and swallowed thickly, “so, I just finished performing the exams,” she said.

“Okay, Meredith,” Hayley huffed, “out with it. Is he-” she cut herself off and gulped, and he could hear the slight waver in her voice, so he rubbed her arm comfortingly.

Meredith nodded solemnly, “yes, he is. He’s brain dead, I am so sorry, Hayley-” she said, her voice filled with regret. “There are options of course, but we don’t have to discuss them right now-” started rambling, but Hayley cut her off shaking her head.

“Don’t be sorry, Meredith. I’m not,” Hayley shrugged. “My husband was an emotionally abusive jerk. I’m not happy he’s dead, because that’s awful, but I’m not sorry or sad about it either,” she said firmly. “And, as for options, there’s no need to discuss,” she shook her head. “I- I’m going to,” she paused, and licked her lips, “I want to donate his organs,” she said, but neither he nor Meredith said anything. “He was a horrible person, but he was a good doctor. If he cared about someone, it was his patients. So, I want to donate his organs, so he can save lives. Do some good,” she said, nodding her head, her voice filled with conviction. Elijah couldn’t help but feel proud of her right now, he squeezed her hand gently.

“Okay,” Meredith nodded. “We’ll arrange for a transplant tomorrow. Does he have any other family?”

“Yeah. Actually, it’s good you’re doing it tomorrow, so I can actually get his grandmother here so she can actually say goodbye. And, his former best friend, maybe. Thanks, Meredith,” she said and shook Meredith’s hand.

“No problem. I’ll see you later,” she said and turned to walk away, but stopped at the last minute. “Hayley?”

“Yeah?”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re giving him a lot more respect than he deserved,” she said with a tense smile, and Hayley nodded, returning it. Elijah stared between the two women, confused. But with that, Meredith turned and left.

“What was that about?” he wondered.

“No idea,” she shrugged.

“You’re going to call Mary, then?”

She nodded, “yeah. She’s, like, the only person who would care about him, she saw the good in him. She knows… there were issues between us, of course she knows, but she also saw another side of him. Or, knows another side of him. I don’t know…” she shook her head. “Point is, part of her loved him no matter what, so yeah. I have to call her. And, Aiden, too. They might not have left things on good terms, but they were childhood best friends. So, might as well…” she trailed off, running a hand through her hair.

“Of course,” he said as he stood up, pulling her along with him. “Do you need anything from me?”

“No,” she paused and reached to cup his cheek, “this is everything I need,” she said softly as her arms slid around his waist and she pressed herself against his chest.

He returned the hug, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly to him, his cheek resting against her temple. Hayley shifted to pull away, but he maintained his grip on her and held her close, “shh,” he whispered, “let’s just… take a minute, okay? Just breathe, Hayley,” he said softly as he nuzzled her, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. They stood there for a minute, both of them breathing slowly and deeply before Hayley finally pulled away. But, before she could turn from him, he tilted his head and brushed his lips against her forehead, “it’s going to be okay,” he whispered. “I’m here for you. You are not alone,” he added.

“Thanks,” she flashed him a small smile before stepping out into the hallway to call Mary and Aiden. Elijah walked around the ICU, stopping briefly in front of the sliding door that separated the ICU room occupied by Jackson. He let out a heavy sigh as he watched the ventilator and machines keep the man ‘alive’ and he wondered if it wasn’t for this, would Jackson had finally agreed to the divorce? They’d never know, and Elijah, honestly, didn’t care. Maybe that made him a horrible person, but he was okay with it because Jackson Kenner didn’t deserve him to care. He had hurt Hayley, the woman he loved, so he didn’t deserve any care from him. He was interrupted from his thoughts by his phone ringing. It was Katherine.

“Katherine,” he sighed, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Hey,” she said, sniffling. “Um,” she paused, “are you busy?” she asked, cutting right to the chase.

“Hello, Katherine, thank you for your concern,” he quipped sarcastically, “we’re fine. Hayley just needed me,” he said, shaking his head.

“Oh, come on, Elijah,” she bit back. 

“You could at least be polite,” he remarked drily, scratching the back of his neck.

“Fine. How are you, Elijah? How’s your girlfriend?” she asked, clearly annoyed, and he could picture her rolling her eyes.

“We’re fine, thank you for your concern,” he replied in a snarky tone. Katherine didn’t say anything, and he rolled his eyes before speaking, “so, what did you want, Katherine?” he asked, exasperation obvious in his tone and he ran a hand through his hair.

There was a pregnant pause, and for a second he thought she’d left. “I need you to take Nadia,” she finally said. “She, uh,” Katherine paused, and he could hear the waver in her voice, the sniffling, but he didn’t say anything about it. “She, uh, she doesn’t want to go home to Elena and Damon’s. She’s still pissed at me, plus I have a shift. So, I need you to take her. If you can, of course. If not, I’ll… I guess I’ll figure something out,” she said. “So, can you?”

“Of course. Of course, I can take her,” he said, sighing heavily. “You two still in the cafeteria?”

“Yes,” Katherine, her tone clipped.

“Good. I’ll be right down,” he said.

“Okay. Bye, ‘Lijah,” Katherine said, and he stiffened at the nickname.

He didn’t answer her, and just ended the call and pocketing his phone. When he looked up, he noticed Hayley walking towards him.

“Hey,” she said softly, coming to stand next to him. “I called Aiden, and he’s gonna get Mary and tell her the news. I didn’t have the heart to tell her over the phone. Then, they’ll come here. We’ll harvest the organs in the morning,” she explained. He nodded, and she furrowed her brow, “you okay?”

“Yeah, just- Nadia is still mad at Katherine, doesn’t want to go to Elena and Damon’s. So, I’m taking her tonight,” he told her.

“Oh. Okay, that’s fine. You guys go on. Go home,” she said nonchalantly.

His eyes widened, “and leave you here?” he gaped at her. “Absolutely not.”

“No, honestly, Elijah, I’m fine,” Hayley waved him off. “I’ll be fine,” she said, but he wasn’t convinced.

“Why don’t you come home with us?” he suggested, but she shook her head.

“I have to be here when Mary and Aiden…” she trailed off. “I can’t leave right now, and I won’t make you guys stay until I can, which probably won’t be until early morning. I’ll just catch a nap in an on-call room. I’ll be fine,” she told him. “Besides,” she said when he didn’t say anything, “you have someone else who needs you right now. Nadia.”

He sighed heavily, hanging his head, “I know. You’re right, I know. I just- I hate leaving you alone right now. I want to be here for you,” he said, his voice filled with regret as he rubbed her shoulder absently while she rested her hands on his chest.

“I know. Believe me, selfishly, I want you here with me, too. But, I know she needs you right now. And, besides, we can survive a couple of hours apart,” she said, raising an eyebrow, and he really couldn’t argue with her logic.

“Yeah,” he sighed again. “I just-” he paused, unsure whether he should continue, but she nodded for him to do so, so he did, “it just feels weird not to have you with me at night. We’ve spent almost every night the past couple of months together, and it just feels weird not to,” he admitted. “I got used to it, I guess…” he shrugged. But, Hayley knew him, so she cupped his cheek, and he instinctively leaned into her touch.

“I know,” she said softly, rubbing his jaw in a comforting manner, “I know that. I know you. And, I know part of it was not wanting to leave me alone with Jackson roaming around. Which, you know I really appreciated. But, that won’t happen again. And, we should learn to occasionally separate again,” she told him, tracing his lips with her thumb, causing him to relax and chills to run down his spine. “It’s only a few hours, Elijah,” she added when he said nothing and looked unconvinced. “Besides, your daughter needs you. Your _daughter_. She needs her dad because she learned some hard truths tonight, and she’s understandably pissed at Katherine, so she needs some time with you,” she added, and with that he couldn’t argue.

“You’re right. Sometimes I hate it,” he sighed. “Okay, I guess I’ll go get Nadia. Take her to my place. Please take care of yourself,” he said, lifting his own hand to cup her cheek.

Hayley’s expression softened, “of course. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes. I’ll drop Nadia off at school, then be back here. See you tomorrow,” he told her. They shared a quick, yet hungry kiss before he pulled away and turned around to go downstairs and get Nadia.

True to Katherine’s word, Nadia was in the cafeteria, glaring at her mother while trying to keep from crying, and Elijah’s heart broke. She leapt to her feet upon seeing him, and they exchanged a quick hug before leaving. She followed him out to his car, but didn’t say anything on the drive back to his place, only occasionally sniffling. Once they were in his apartment though, it dawned on him how much this had affected her.

“I never,” she paused and sniffled, her shoulders shaking slightly, “I never realized… I never noticed how many photos of him you have,” she said, and choked back a sob. Elijah’s heart clenched at the sight, and he quickly dropped his things before going over to her and pulling her into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Nadia,” he whispered as he held her, his own voice trembling slightly. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated, swallowing back tears. “Please forgive me,” he muttered, blinking back tears as Nadia returned the hug.

“It’s okay,” she whispered in a trembling voice.

“Shh,” he whispered, rocking her slightly as if she was a small child. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m right here. Daddy is here.” It felt strange to refer to himself as such after three years of not being able to, but it felt natural. Even if it was a little bit ridiculous, considering his daughter was fourteen. “Shh,” he continued to whisper as he held her while she finally cried for the brother she never met, but lost. For the mother who didn’t want her, but was forced to and gave her up. For the family she never got to have. And, finally, with Nadia not looking at him, he let a few tears of his own fall.

* * *

It turned out that leaving the organ donation until the next day was a smart idea because Mary wasn’t so thrilled with the idea. According to Hayley, the woman had completely shut her down and proceeded to sit by Jackson’s bedside, refusing to talk to Hayley about the organ donation.

After dropping Nadia off at school, Elijah drove to the hospital and made his way to the ICU. Except, he only found Mary in Jackson’s room as Hayley had said, and Aiden pacing in the hallway.

“Oh, Elijah, hey,” Aiden said upon noticing him, and strode over to him, holding his hand out to shake.

“Hello, Aiden,” he greeted with a tense smile, and shook the other man’s hand. “Where… where is Hayley?” he asked, looking around for his girlfriend.

He shrugged, “working, I think. She got paged and ran off,” he said. “Mary’s in there with him. And, I- I’m out here. Josh should be coming soon,” he added.

Elijah nodded, “good. How are you holding up?”

“I- I don’t know. I mean, Jack was my best friend. But, we didn’t exactly part on good terms when I left. And, you can imagine that things didn’t improve when he found me babysitting his wife’s child here in New Orleans,” Aiden shrugged, and Elijah bristled at him referring to Hayley as Jackson’s ‘wife’. “Or, that I had helped Hayley leave him. But, I don’t know… he’s still- he was my childhood best friend. I can’t ignore that. So, I don’t know how I’m feeling right now. Just pacing, I guess,” he admitted, and Elijah nodded.

“Yeah…” he sighed. “It’s okay not to know how to feel,” he told him, though maybe he wasn’t the best person to give advice on grief. “Anyways, I just wanted to check in. See if Hayley was here, but I suppose not.”

“Probably for the best, too,” Aiden nodded.

Elijah pursed his lips before speaking next, “Aiden, while I hate Jackson with every fiber of my being, I know not everyone does-” he started to say, intending to offer his condolences, but the other man cut him off.

“I hate him, too, Elijah. I love Hayley like a sister. Hope is my goddaughter. He hurt Hayley, belittled her… When I left, I was scared to leave her. Scared that the abuse would get worse, that it would get physical. And, that he might hurt, Hope, too. Trust me, I hate the guy. And, at the same time he was my childhood best friend and I…” he trailed off, and ran a hand through his curly hair.

“I understand,” he said, clapping the other man on the back, “believe me, I do. I am sorry for your loss, though,” he said, and Aiden nodded.

“Thanks,” he flashed him a small smile. “Anyways, I’m gonna go call Oliver. Jack’s cousin,” he said, and Elijah nodded.

“Alright, see you later,” he said, clapping him again on the shoulder and Aiden nodded.

“See ya, Elijah,” he said before going off, pulling out his phone.

Elijah sighed heavily, and was about to turn to head down to find Hayley, or to his office, when Mary exited the room Jackson was in.

“Hello, Mary,” he said kindly.

“Hello, Elijah,” she greeted tensely. “What are you doing here?”

“I was, uh, I was looking for Hayley. But, she’s not here, so I’ll go to my office,” he explained easily.

“Oh. Right. Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Have a nice day,” she grumbled, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yeah,” he nodded, and turned, but stopped at the last minute.

“Mary?” he said, and the woman turned to face him.

“Yes?”

“You know she’s doing it for him, right?” he finally said after taking a deep breath and letting it out. She looked a little confused, so he continued. “The organ donation, I mean.”

“And, how’s she doin’ that? Look, I get that she hates him, I get that he hurt her, I get the whole running away. I even get the whole being with you. But, what I don’t get is this,” she huffed. “Why does her choice matter more than mine? I’m his grandmother. I raised the boy myself for God’s sakes.”

He sighed heavily, “yeah, I know. But, legally, she is still his wife, so she still gets to make these decisions for him. Trust me, I hate that. And, I think if Hayley had a choice, if she could choose whether to deal with this or not, she would choose not to. But, she can’t. So, she’s doing what a wife is meant to do. And, she’s doing it right,” he paused, and licked his lips. “She’s doing right by him,” he added more quietly, and as much as he hated saying, he knew it was true.

“How’s she doin’ that?”

“She’s doing what he would want. Because, he would want to donate his organs, he would want to save people. He cared about his patients, from what Hayley’s told me,” he sighed.

“Yup,” the older woman grumbled.

“So, he would want this. That’s why she decided to donate his organs. Because it’s what he would want. She’s doing right by him. And, giving him more respect than he deserved,” he said, sighing again. “I know it’s not what you want, but it is what he would want,” he added.

Finally, the older woman nodded, “that’s true. I guess you’re right,” she said.

“Oh, hey.” Elijah and Mary both turned to find Hayley and Josh, along with Aiden, and he exhaled, immediately relaxing upon seeing her.

“Hi,” he smiled, and itched to reach for her, but neither of them moved. She smiled back.

“Hi,” she said softly, meeting his gaze, both of them staring deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Okay, you two,” Josh said after a while, “enough making eyes at each other,” he rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, Josh,” Hayley said, breaking eye contact.

“Forgive us, Dr. Rosza,” he muttered before stepping away from Mary and walking over to stand next to his girlfriend.

“Anyways,” Hayley said as she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Mary, have you, um, have you thought about it?”

“I did,” the older woman said, nodding. “Okay. If that’s what you think he’d want… okay,” she said after a while, and Hayley exhaled, her shoulders slumping with relief.

“Okay,” she nodded. “Josh, do you mind telling them that we need to start prepping him for organ recovery?”

“Of course,” Josh said and soon enough the protocol for organ recovery was started. Nurses paged surgeons, then started prepping the patient, O.R.’s were booked, U.N.O.S. was alerted while the four of them stood there in the hallway. A nurse then ushered them out, and while Aiden led Mary out, Hayley stopped.

“Wait,” she said, still keeping her hand in his, making him stop, too. “I need- I need to say goodbye,” she said, and he nodded.

“C’mon,” he said softly, and led her into the room. “Would you excuse us for a moment? We need the room,” he said, and soon the nurses and ICU doctors left the room. He slid the door closed, and then it was just the two of them. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked, leaning awkwardly against the door.

“No,” she said softly, shaking her head. “Just- stand there and give me a minute,” she requested, and he nodded.

He watched as she walked over to Jackson and took his hand, and he felt jealousy flare in him, though he didn’t know why.

Hayley sniffled, “you… you hurt me, Jackson,” she finally said with a sigh. “You emotionally abused me. But, I forgive you,” she said and Elijah couldn’t help but be surprised, his eyes widening. “I forgive you. And, I’m making sure you’re doing some good before… before you go. And then, I’m gonna go and live my life, unburdened by you with a man who-” she stopped and glanced over at him, her expression softened, and he relaxed, too, “with a man who is better than you, who keeps me safe, and makes me happy. Who loves me. And, I love him. You didn’t ruin me forever. You didn’t break me. Goodbye, Jackson,” she whispered. And then she let go of his hand and turned to him.

“Hi,” she said softly as she strode over to him and slid her arms around his neck.

“Hi,” he whispered, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, and nuzzled his cheek with her nose, “I’m okay. It’s over. Almost,” she whispered.

He nodded, and tilted his head, pressing his lips to her forehead, and she immediately relaxed beneath his touch. “Just a minute, darling,” he whispered against her skin, “let’s just take a minute.” They stood there for a minute, neither of them saying anything before he finally released her and she stepped back, allowing him to open the door. They left hand in hand, and he nodded for the nurses and interns to enter.

“Thank you,” she said softly, as she leaned against him while they walked out of the ICU. “Thank you for being here, for helping, for everything. Just… thank you,” she said, her voice filled with emotion.

“Of course,” he muttered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m always here for you. Shall we go scrub?”

“Yes,” she nodded, and they headed to the elevators.

After scrubbing, they entered the O.R. one after another before lining up on one side. Elijah and Hayley stood a little ways from the rest, both of them donning their surgical caps and masks, though no gowns. Gia stood with a clipboard while the rest of the anesthesiologist put him under.

“Patient is Jackson Kenner, thirty-three,” she announced, and Elijah heard Hayley inhale sharply. “The procedure is organ recovery for donation. I will call on the receiving surgeons,” she said. “Kidneys.”

Someone from general stepped forward, “St. Luke’s Children’s. Boise,” he said.

Hayley perked up then and walked over to him, “who’s it for?” she asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Who are his kidneys for?”

“I-” the doctor paused, “I already gave that information to the nurse.”

He could practically see his girlfriend purse her lips, “I would like you to tell me. This man… Jackson was a crappy husband and human, but a good doctor. Legally I’m still his wife. And, I decided to make sure he’s doing some good in the world. So, who are his kidneys for?” she demanded, her voice firm, filled with conviction. The doctors in the room exchanged looks, but no one said anything. “Actually, I’d like everyone to tell me who his organs are for,” she added.

“Molly Campbell, nine years old,” the doctor said. “Hypoplastic kidneys.”

Hayley nodded, “thank you.” Then, she grabbed the clipboard from Gia, who said nothing in protest.

“Lungs?”

Kol stepped forward, “lungs and heart are going right here at St. John’s Memorial. Celeste’s patient, Erica Newton, age twenty-four. Cystic fibrosis,” he said, and Hayley nodded gratefully.

“Liver?”

Niklaus stepped forward then, “liver is going to New York Presbyterian,” he said, and Elijah tensed briefly, but pushed the thought away. “Simon Harris, age thirty. Cirrhosis due to Hepatitis C,” he said, and Hayley nodded.

As Hayley continued to name the organs to be harvested, and their colleagues told her where and to whom they were going, Elijah tuned it out. Finally, when that was done and the organ recovery started, he pulled her and her clipboard away, leaving Gia to scrub in. Neither of them said anything as they went into the scrub room, and he tore off his mask, panting slightly as Hayley leaned against the sink, and took off her own mask.

“At least,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper, “at least he’ll do some good.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, and nuzzled the side of her head. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, her lips curving into a smile. “I did all I had to do. That’s it,” she said. Her stomach rumbled, and he chuckled.

“Hungry?”

“A little, yeah,” she blushed, and he shook his head.

“Let’s go grab something to eat, yeah?” he suggested, and she nodded before both of them took their scrub caps off and went into the changing area before the O.R., taking off their booties and grabbing their lab coats, Hayley pulling her hair out of its braids, letting it hang down her shoulders in soft waves. They walked together to the cafeteria, their hands brushing against each other every so often, talking about the rest of their shifts, plans for going home, dinner. It was so normal, so natural.

* * *

Hayley was grateful that Mary had made most of the arrangements for the funeral by the time her and Klaus arrived. It was an almost seven-hour flight from New Orleans to Klamath Falls, Oregon, with a one-hour stop in Denver, and then they took a rental car to Lakeview.

“Quaint little town,” Klaus remarked as they drove into town, past the ‘Welcome to Lakeview’ sign with the cowboy beside it.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “shut up, Klaus,” she said. Bringing the father of her child along hadn’t exactly been her idea, but despite her pleas, Elijah hadn’t budged.

_“Either I go with you, or Niklaus does!” he finally snapped after several minutes of arguing. When she winced, he sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, lowering his voice, his shoulders slumping. He cupped the side of her head, “Hayley, listen to me,” he said softly, his tone pleading, “Mary may be on our side, but you are not facing the rest of his family and his friends without someone there that I trust to look out for you,” he stared deeply into her eyes, willing her to understand._

_Finally, she nodded, “okay, fine,” she pursed her lips. “But, you’re not going with me,” she added, and his face fell slightly in disappointment, though he didn’t show it. This time, it was she who reached for him and cupped his cheek, rubbing his jaw tenderly. “Baby,” she said softly, “I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. But, I am not exposing our relationship to small-town gossip and all the mess that is going to be there. I love you too much for that,” she rubbed her nose against his, and he immediately relaxed, his expression softening. “So, will you be able to manage with Hope for a few days?”_

_“Of course. Besides, I’ve got Rebekah, Camille and the others here. Between us all, Hope will be fine,” he said, his lips curling into a soft smile. “We’ll be fine, everything will be fine,” he reassured her._

Hayley shook her head, and glanced over at Klaus once again. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I know this isn’t exactly your scene, but I appreciate you coming with,” she said apologetically.

Klaus caught her gaze, “don’t worry about it, Hayley. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and I know that Elijah will feel better if I’m here. It’s for his peace of mind as much as it is for you. So, I am here for you,” he squeezed her arm. “Alright, find the Best Western Skyline Lodge on the GPS,” he said and she quickly entered it into the navigator.

She raised an eyebrow at the name of the hotel, “Best Western? Isn’t that a little fancy?”

“It’s fine, your boyfriend is paying for it. Besides, considering what we’re here for, it won’t hurt to be comfortable,” he said as he took the next turn.

Hayley opened her mouth to argue, but thought better of it and just texted Elijah that they were in Lakeview going to their hotel, adding a ‘thank you’ for the hotel itself. Elijah just texted back a simple ‘love you’.

Despite the exhaustion from the flight, they still had things to do that first day, including lunch with Mary and Aiden. After they separated, with Klaus driving Hayley to the bank to deal with the financial aspects of Jackson’s death. Thankfully, the funeral could be paid for from his account, and the rest of it, Hayley was going to give to Mary. She then arranged to sell his house, and met with the real estate agent for the house. She then drove to their old house to sort out some of the stuff she had left there. Klaus followed after her, occasionally commenting, or making some joke.

“You okay, love?” he asked when she stopped in the bathroom to pick up a few things, but suddenly she needed to sit down, and she leaned against the bathtub.

“Yeah,” she sighed, but her voice wavered slightly.

“Hayley,” Klaus said gently, unusually so as he crouched in front of her, “you know you can tell me. What is it?”

She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, “I just- I used to cry on this bathroom floor almost every night after some fight, or after Jackson’s insults became too much,” she admitted.

“I know,” Klaus said somberly, “Elijah mentioned something about that.”

“Yeah. But, I didn’t always do it in the bathroom. At first, I would burst into tears right then and there with Jackson. And, Jackson,” she paused, licking her lips, “Jackson would suddenly feel bad and start crying, too. He’d start crying, and so I would comfort him, and then he would apologize and I’d forgive him, and… at first, I used to think he might change, but then he’d do it all over again, and I’d do the crying, forgiving thing again…” she trailed off and sniffled, and Klaus rubbed her arms comfortingly. “Until one day, I realized that he didn’t actually feel sorry. So, I stopped bursting into tears right then and there. I’d keep it in, push it down until I was alone,” she sighed, and a tear spilled down her cheek. “Just suck it up because it’s not that big of a deal, right?”

Klaus shook his head, “no, Hayley, no,” he said firmly. “You know… it is a big deal. It’s a big deal,” he told her, and she nodded. “Have you told Elijah about that?”

She shook her head, her vision becoming increasingly blurry, “no,” she hiccupped, “I just- how do you tell the person who looks at you like you’re his everything that you’re broken? I can’t- I couldn’t do that to him. He feels guilty enough about the whole Jackson thing as it is, there’s no need for me to add more to it. It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s over. I’m fine,” she said, repeating the words like a mantra in her head after that as Klaus pulled her to him, hugging her tightly while she broke down, letting herself finally cry while he muttered soothing words in her ear.

After several long minutes, she finally calmed down, and the two of them sat up. Klaus waited in the hallway while she washed her face and retouched her makeup before she finished with the things in the bathroom. They arranged with the moving company to pack up her things that she’d put in Hope’s old room before she arranged to pack up all of Jackson’s things. The rest of the things, she would donate to charity, or give to Mary. She knew for a fact there were a few things in her kitchen Mary might like. So, after dealing with the house, the two of them left and went back to the hotel, choosing to have dinner there before FaceTim-ing Elijah and Hope.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, baby girl?”

“When are you coming back? I miss you loads,” her daughter pouted, as she sat on Elijah’s lap.

“I miss you, too, sweetie,” she said, smiling. “You being good for Uncle Elijah?”

“Yes!”

“She’s an angel, Hayley, we’re good,” her boyfriend told her, and she flashed him a soft smile.

“Great!” she said cheerfully. “Well, I’ll be back in two days, but you’ll be at daddy’s with Cami, so you’ll see daddy before you see me,” she told her daughter, hoping she wouldn’t get upset.

But, the moment Hayley uttered the word ‘daddy’, Hope’s attention immediately snapped over to Klaus. “Daddy! Hi!” she exclaimed, and Klaus chuckled.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he said. “How are you doing? Driving your Uncle Elijah mad, my little princess?” he quipped, smirking with amusement, and Hayley elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow, that hurts!” he exclaimed, pouting.

“Quit acting like a child, Klaus,” she hissed before turning her attention back to the iPad screen.

“She’s great,” Elijah said.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I have an art project due next week. Will you help me when you get back?”

“Of course, I will,” Klaus said, lighting up. They chatted for a bit longer before Hope yawned and rubbed at her eyes sleepily.

“Oh, somebody’s tired,” Hayley grinned.

“Yeah, somebody is tired. Alright, Hope, go brush your teeth and wash your face, and I’ll tuck you in,” Elijah said, picking her up and setting her on the floor. “Say goodnight to your parents,” he added.

“Goodnight, mommy,” Hope said, blowing her a kiss. “I love you.”

“Goodnight, sweetie, love you too,” Hayley replied.

“Night, daddy! Love you!” she said, now blowing a kiss to Klaus.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Klaus said. His phone rang, it was Cami, probably wanting to Face Time, too, and he went to his bed to talk to his girlfriend.

Hayley turned to the iPad which now only showed Elijah’s face.

“Hi,” she said, her lips curling into a smile.

“Hello,” he smiled back. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. Just… a lot to deal with here. Bank, house, car… I need to deal with all of that,” she told him, shrugging. “How are things with you? How is Nadia?”

Elijah sighed heavily, clearly tired, “fine. Aya cleared me for surgery today,” he said, holding up his hand. “I go back tomorrow,” he added, and she smiled.

“Good, I’m glad. And, Nadia?”

“She’s… fine, I think. Adjusting better than I expected. Though, her and Katherine are still not speaking, so…” he trailed off and rubbed at his eyes. “She’s at a sleepover tonight, and honestly, I’m relieved,” he added. “I tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t want to talk about the whole Katherine thing,” he added with a heavy sigh. “I miss you,” Elijah said after a while, and she smiled again.

“I miss you, too,” she said a little breathlessly. “So much.”

“Hayley,” he drawled, “are you okay?” He fixed her with his gaze, as if he was trying to see through her soul, and she inhaled slowly.

She hesitated before answering, “I just- I shouldn’t be here, Elijah,” she finally said. “I really shouldn’t be here. But, I have to. And, today was fine. Just the logistics, I guess. But, the wake tomorrow? And, the funeral the day after? I just-” she bit her lip, “how can I go there, and stay quiet while all these people gossip about me?”

“Oh, Hayley,” her boyfriend sighed, his expression softening, “I’m so sorry you have to go through this. But, you _can_ get through it. I know you can,” he said, his voice so soft, so gentle, but filled with conviction, and tears sprang in her eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he sighed, a pained look on his face, and she immediately sobered up. “Listen to me,” he said as she wiped her eyes before looking at him. “You can do this. You can get through this. Do you want to know how I know that?” She nodded, making a half-sobbing sound in the back of her throat. “Because I know you. I know you, you are _strong_ , and you are _brave_ , and you _can_ do this. You can do this, alright?” She nodded. “Hayley?” he prompted.

“Yeah, okay,” she finally said, sniffling. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Always,” he smiled. “Just two more days, okay?” Again, she nodded. “I love you. I’ll see you in two days.”

“I love you, too, Elijah,” she sniffled. “See you in two days,” she muttered before ending the call. And then, she washed herself and changed into her pajama shorts, pulling on Elijah’s t-shirt before crawling into bed, and falling asleep.

The next day consisted of a morning meeting with the mortician, who looked like he might burst an aneurysm when Hayley told him she wasn’t riding with the casket, but eventually he gave in. Then, Klaus picked her up and they met with the lawyer to deal with some more legal issues before going to meet with the real estate agent. And then, there was the wake. Hayley was grateful Mary had insisted on a one-day wake, because she was pretty sure she might have killed someone if she had to play the role of the widow for two days.

The wake itself was a blur, for the most part. Hayley just sat with Mary for a bit, then rotated to accept ‘condolences’ from the other mourners while Klaus ate food and talked to Aiden.

“Oh, you poor thing,” one older lady said, clasping both of Hayley’s hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs over Hayley’s wedding and engagement rings. It had felt weird to put them on again after having them off for the better part of a year, but as Klaus had said, people would have asked questions if she didn’t. Luckily, she got to keep the promise ring from Elijah, which sat comfortably on her right index finger, and she occasionally ran her finger over it. “Widowed… and so young! How awful!”

“I’m fine, honestly,” she said, pursing her lips. “But, thank you,” she added, patting the other woman on the shoulder lightly before pulling away and going to grab a glass of wine.

“How’s it going, love?” Klaus asked, sipping his own drink of choice.

“Well,” she paused and took another sip, “thank God for the wine.” Klaus just nodded.

“Ah, there you are!” Hayley turned to find no one other than Oliver Kenner striding towards her. Aiden, who had been close by, turned, and walked to join them.

“Oliver,” she said, “thank you for coming,” she said, nodding somberly. “I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“Are you really?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you really sorry? You left him, doesn’t seem like you cared about what happened to Jackson! Do you know how-” he practically yelled, causing everyone to turn towards them, but was interrupted by Klaus.

“Watch it, mate,” Klaus growled.

“And, who are you to tell me what to do?” Oliver stepped forward.

“Hope’s father,” Klaus gritted his teeth. “And, I strongly suggest you treat Hayley with a little more respect,” he warned. Oliver took another step closer to Klaus, but this time it was Aiden who stopped him.

“Enough, Oliver!” Aiden hissed, holding him by the shoulder. “You’re causing a scene, here. And, need I remind you that we’re at your cousin’s wake? So, if you’re not going to show Hayley some respect, the least you could do is show some respect for the dead,” he glared at Oliver, who pulled away.

“Fine,” he muttered before turning around and stalking off.

Hayley groaned, “well, this is going great.”

The funeral wasn’t any better, and just as awkward, with everyone staring at her, judging her. At least, nobody caused any shit, mainly because Klaus and Aiden were watching her like a hawk. She zoned out for the most part, and only got up to put her and Jackson’s wedding rings on the casket before it was lowered along with a flower.

“Till death do us part,” she muttered as she threw a handful of dirt into the hole before going over to Klaus and Aiden, letting out a sigh of relief. It was over. She was free. But, it wasn’t going to be fully over until she was back home, and in Elijah’s arms.

* * *

The flight back had been quiet, and Hayley had even managed to catch a nap, using Klaus’ shoulder as a pillow. Klaus drove them from the airport, having left his car parked there, and dropped her off at home. Hope was at Klaus’, and as much as Hayley wanted to see her daughter, she was also tired, and she wanted, no, _needed_ to see Elijah more.

“Give Hope a kiss from me?” she said as Klaus parked in front of Elijah’s building and helped her get her things.

“Of course. You on-call tomorrow?” he asked as he closed his trunk.

“Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “I can take her the day after. Or, we can all have dinner together after and Elijah and I can take her after,” she said with a shrug. “Depends how much she’s missed me, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you,” she added, and Klaus chuckled.

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Klaus exclaimed. “That little girl adores you, Hayley, and you know it,” he said, and she laughed, shaking her head. “She’s just being a bit of a daddy’s girl right now,” he added, attempting to hide a smile, but Hayley could hardly blame him.

“Oh, I know,” she said. “Don’t worry, Klaus, honestly. She’s in a ‘daddy’ phase, and plus, she’s only known you for a couple months, hasn’t even been a year. Let her be a daddy’s girl,” she said with a smile. “I’m actually glad she’s taken to you so quickly,” she added, patting his arm.

Klaus smiled like a Cheshire cat, “yeah… me too,” he said softly. “And, believe me, I have nothing against the ‘daddy phase’,” he added. “Alright, you go get some rest, okay? I’m sure Elijah’s eager to see you,” he said, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, will do. Thanks, again, for coming,” she said.

“You’re welcome. Have a good night, Hayley.”

“You, too.” They exchanged a quick hug and cheek kisses before parting, and she walked inside Elijah’s building, taking the elevator to his loft. It was quite late, so she was glad Elijah had given her keys to his apartment weeks earlier as she unlocked the door as quietly as she could. She stepped inside, trying to be quiet despite the fact that she was wearing heeled boots, and quietly took off her coat and boots, hanging her coat on the rack by the door. And then, she tiptoed inside, careful so as not to wake up Nadia who was sleeping in the study-slash-guestroom, and walked upstairs to the master bedroom. She sighed with relief upon noticing that Elijah wasn’t asleep and was just reading, but he immediately looked up.

“Oh, hey,” he said, his lips curling into a smile. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

She smiled, “yeah, I was trying to be quiet,” she told him.

“Nadia’s asleep, but she’s fourteen, Hayley, it’s fine,” he shrugged. “How was your flight?”

“Fine, I slept,” she told him as she took off the black dress she’d worn to the funeral and the tights, tossing both into the laundry basket since she’d also travelled in them. She quickly put on a pair of pajama shorts and grabbed one of Elijah’s t-shirts before opening her bag to get her toiletries before going into the bathroom to do her nightly routine.

Elijah watched her silently, his gaze briefly raking over her bare body, before returning to his book.

“And, the funeral?”

She shrugged as she removed her makeup, then began washing her face, “fine, I zoned out. And, awkward.”

“Really? How so?” he asked, his gaze flickering over to her.

Hayley spat out the toothpaste before turning to face her boyfriend, “well, I brought my baby daddy to my husband’s funeral. How could it not be awkward?” she quipped, and he chuckled.

“Fair enough.” He paused before once again looking at her as she washed her mouth, “but, there were no issues, right? No scandal, nothing like that? Niklaus didn’t end up damaging anyone’s jaw?” he asked, and she couldn’t help but snort.

“No, not really. He probably came close, but no,” she laughed. “Anyways, like I said, as far as funerals go, this one was fine. I managed to get out of the wifely duty of going in the limo with- with Jackson’s- with the casket,” she said, stumbling over her words slightly. “Had to sit in the front though, but I managed to sit with Klaus, Aiden and Mary,” she added, grumbling.

“That’s good,” he nodded.

Hayley furrowed her brow, “hey, are you okay?” she asked, turning to face him, properly for the first time.

Elijah closed his book, putting it on the nightstand, and turned to her, “yeah, of course. I just- it was just an exhausting day at work,” he said with a sigh.

She nodded, “right. You went back to work today. How’s your hand?” she asked as she turned off the main lights, leaving only the nightstand lamps before sitting down on the bed.

“Fine,” he shrugged. “Maybe a little crampy,” he admitted, curling and uncurling his fingers.

She laid down on the bed on her side, facing him, propping herself on her elbow. Silence descended between them as Hayley reached for him, taking his now-healed hand and lacing her fingers with his before bringing it to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“Hi,” she said softly as she lifted her gaze to meet his.

Immediately, something shifted in Elijah, and he relaxed, his expression softening, “hi,” he breathed out. “Hello,” he whispered hoarsely as he lifted their joined hands to kiss her knuckles.

“Hello,” she grinned. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” he said softly, his voice laced with emotion before leaning forward and capturing her lips with his own. She reacted immediately, deepening the kiss, her lips molding with his, their tongues tangling together.

When they pulled away briefly, she let go of his hand and cupped his cheek, and Elijah leaned into her touch, “I love you, Elijah,” she muttered, her nose brushing against his.

Elijah sighed, and another smile formed onto his lips, “I love you, too. I missed you,” he declared in a husky whisper. And then, he rolled so he was on top of her, and she let out a delighted squeal as her hands slid around his neck. Elijah pressed a kiss to her earlobe, “…love you,” he muttered against her skin and she shivered with pleasure. Another kiss, this time to her jaw, “…missed you,” he muttered. Then, he trailed kissed down her neck, muttering, “…love you,” in between kisses, and Hayley felt her insides melt.

She reached for him, cupping his cheek once again, and held him so he was looking down at her, their lips mere inches from each other, noses almost brushing. “Move in with me,” she whispered, and Elijah’s brows shot up in surprise.

“Wh- what?”

“Move in with me,” she repeated, her voice soft, but filled with conviction. “I love you. The nightmare with Jackson is over. I’m free. We’re free. Move in with me. I want,” she paused, and took a deep breath before releasing it, “I don’t want a drawer or two anymore. I want an entire closet, Elijah. I want our things together. I want dinners, and breakfasts together. With Hope when we have her. I want us to live together. Move in with me,” she said.

Elijah didn’t say anything, and the silence stretched, and Hayley’s heart sank. She looked away, unable to look at him, but then his hand was cupping her chin and he was forcing her to look at him.

“Hayley,” he said softly, his breath fanning her face.

“You’re not ready,” she sighed, still trying to look away, not to meet his gaze, because if she stared into his eyes, she was sure she was going to cry. “Of course. I get it. I’m sorry, I-” but Elijah cut her off, resting his thumb against her lips.

“No, that’s not- I- I want to move in with you, trust me, I do. But, I have a better idea than me moving into your place,” he said, and rolled off her, pulling her along with him, so she was half-lying on top of him. “How about we get a place that is ours? I mean, my lease ends at the end of March, as does yours. I can live with you until your lease expires, then we can move into our own place. We can look for one until then. What do you say?” he kissed the tip of her nose making her laugh.

She beamed, overwhelmed with happiness before wrapping her arms around his neck, “I say yes,” she said and pulled him towards her. Their lips met halfway, their tongues tangling together as she pulled him closer, moaning into the kiss. She felt his hands drift down until he was grasping the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing before he rolled them once again so he was on top. She wrapped one leg around his waist, feeling him harden against her thighs.

They broke the kiss briefly, and she panted against his lips, “…mmm… I love you,” she muttered as Elijah began lifting the t-shirt. His t-shirt, but she liked wearing it. Their pulled apart just enough for him to pull the t-shirt off before they resumed kissing.

“Love you…” he muttered against her lips before pressing another kiss to her lips, his scruff scratching her chin slightly, and she let out another moan.

“…missed you…” she sighed as she reached for his t-shirt, pulling it off before she began touching his torso, feeling the muscles.

“I missed you,” he whispered huskily as he began trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, and she moaned as she fiddled with the hem of his pajama bottoms.

“…want you…” she sighed as she pushed his pajama pants down before grabbing his boxers, too.

Elijah chuckled, and she shivered as his scruff scratched at her skin, “somebody’s eager,” he murmured teasingly before pulling away so he could take his pants and boxers off. She shimmied out of her shorts and panties, and then he was on top of her, pressing her against the bed, and she felt warmth spread through her, could feel herself get wet.

“… fuck,” he gasped, “you’re so wet, sweetheart,” he nipped on her collarbone lightly. “Want you…” he added huskily, and she could feel her walls tighten with anticipation as she wound her arms around him, pulling him closer, her body pressing against his.

“… need you…” she panted breathlessly.

“… mm… need you, sweetheart…” he gasped as she guided him, shifting around so he could position himself.

“Elijah,” she panted against his lips as he thrust into her, causing her to let out a loud moan.

“Yes?” he tilted his head to look at her, to stare into her eyes, his dark brown ones boring into her hazel ones. He caressed the side of her face, as if marveling at her, as if he hadn’t seen her before. He was looking at her intently, his eyes filled with love, and adoration, and desire, almost desperate in a way. She shivered beneath his gaze, her desire growing, filling her up. She’d never wanted anyone, anything this much, this desperately before.

“Kiss me…” she begged breathlessly. And, he did.


	39. 'Tis the Damn Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas and the Mikaelsons are celebrating together sans Mikael and Esther. But, Christmas takes a tragic turn when they get called to the hospital due to an emergency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!!! I wanted to finish TAOL before 2021, but I didn't manage to do it, so I guess I'll finish it this month. One more chapter to go. I'm sure you're all wondering how it all ends. Believe me, I'm excited! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this bittersweet Christmas chapter. Happy Holidays!

By Christmas Eve, things had mostly gone back to normal. Mostly. Work was routine, and Hayley, along with the other fifth-year residents, was killing herself trying to impress her attendings, which wasn’t hard with Jo, but almost impossible with Katherine. Studying for boards was slowly picking up, and Hayley, Keelin, Elena and a few other fifth year residents had gotten together for a few study sessions and drinks. She was exhausted, running mostly on caffeine, and the past week had been especially brutal. And, she’d barely seen Elijah in the last few days except for a quickie earlier that day . At first, after Jackson’s funeral, they’d readjusted their routine slightly, but it was more or less the same. Now, even though she felt safe being alone, but she still liked being with him, she still felt safer with him, even if there was no obvious danger, even if she didn’t have to look over her shoulder anymore.

Hayley had just finished last surgery of her shift, and was heading for the residents’ locker room to get changed and grab her things before going to meet Elijah. As she was walking, she felt her stomach lurch, and she took a deep breath through her nose, exhaling softly. Her stomach had been acting funny lately, like she’d eaten something, except she couldn’t recall eating anything weird. Maybe it was the Chinese, she and Elijah ordered two nights ago. She ducked into the nearest restroom, and sure enough threw up as soon as she entered one of the empty cabins, heaving as she hovered over the toilet. She waited a few more seconds until she was sure she wouldn’t throw up again, and flushed before going to wash her hands and cleaning her mouth with water. She exited the bathroom and went to the residents’ locker room, brushing her teeth and changing before grabbing her bags and exiting it. As she walked, she pulled out her phone to text Elijah.

_Hey, baby. I’m finished, you ready to go? xx_

Seconds later, her phone pinged with a reply: _Hi, beautiful. I’m just signing off on a few charts in the ER. Meet me here? Love you._

She smiled as she typed back a reply. _Yeah, see you soon. Love you xx_

She took the stairs down to the E.R., and found him leaning against the nurses’ desk, clad in jeans that hugged his ass and legs just right, paired with a simple t-shirt and jacket, his hair slightly messy, his bag slung over his shoulder. Hayley swallowed thickly and licked her lips as she raked her eyes over him, checking him out. He looked hot, in a rugged sort of way that sent her hormones in overdrive.

“I know you guys are dating, but do you have to ogle my dad so openly?” a voice pulled her out of her reverie. Hayley blushed fifty shades of red and turned to find Nadia sitting on one of the empty beds, her legs dangling over it, an amused grin on her face.

Hayley narrowed her eyes, “and, you shouldn’t be here,” she retorted, pursing her lips. Nadia burst into laughter, and Hayley couldn’t help but laugh, too. “Hey, Nadia,” she said as the teenager jumped off the bed to rush over to her and hug her.

“Hey, Hayley,” she said, giggling, as they hugged. “What are you doing here?”

Hayley chuckled, “I should be asking you that. I work here, remember?” she quipped. “So, what are you doing here?”

Nadia shrugged, “well, I’m on winter break, remember? And, I’m going with you guys anyways, so I figured I’d come over here earlier and just wait for Elijah to finish work,” she informed her.

“Oh, that’s great,” Hayley grinned, wrapping an arm around the teenager’s shoulders and pulling her into another hug. “Okay, well, I’m going to go get Elijah, and we can go,” she added.

“Hope not coming with us?” Nadia asked as she grabbed her bag.

“Nope, Hope’s coming with Klaus and Cami. The whole family is meeting at this Plantation house where we’ll be staying until the morning of the twenty-sixth,” she explained. Leaving Nadia to wait, Hayley went up to Elijah who was on the phone, and by the look on his face he was probably talking to Katherine because no one else annoyed him this much.

“Well, you robbed me of fourteen years’ worth of Christmas, so you’re just going to have to deal with it, Katherine!” Elijah snapped into the receiver before ending the call and practically throwing the phone in his pocket. Hayley watched him for a second before striding over to him.

“Someone’s not feeling the holiday spirit,” she remarked, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Well, Katherine has the unique ability of taking away anyone’s holiday spirit,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. Hayley laughed and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug, and Elijah immediately relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders as he wrapped his own arms around her, returning the hug. She pressed herself closer as Elijah buried his face in her hair, and she heard him inhale as she tucked her chin over his shoulder, the two of them simply holding each other. And then, the moment was over, and they pulled away, their eyes meeting. Elijah’s lips curved into a fond smile, “hi,” he breathed out softly.

Hayley grinned in response, “hey, sexy” she replied in a sultry voice. She reached and cupped his cheek, “I’ve missed you,” she added as she caressed his jaw with her thumb.

Elijah chuckled, “has it really been that long since our last encounter in the on-call room?” he quipped, amused, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, there wasn’t much talking then,” she winked, and Elijah snorted before leaning down and capturing her lips with his own. Hayley immediately melted in his arms and returned the kiss, deepening it, her lips molding with his as she threaded his hair with her fingers while Elijah pulled her closer in his arms, his hands roaming along her back, squeezing her hips lightly, her ass, then drifting up to her waist and pressing her against the nurse’s desk. Hayley sighed and moaned against his lips before kissing him again, her lips molding with his, their tongues tangling together as she carded her fingers through his hair while he held her in his arms, his hands drifting along her back. It was like it was just the two of them, like there was no one else in the room, all that mattered was Elijah holding her, kissing her, caressing her, his touch burning her skin, and she returned it in kind, her fingers caressing the back of his neck, threading through his hair, trailing along his jaw. Hayley had thought that after a while the novelty of their feelings, the fiery desire they felt for each other would die down, burn out, that they’d just grow too comfortable with each other, but apparently she was wrong. So wrong that she let herself get lost in him to the unnoticed discomfort of his daughter who was clearing her throat trying to get their attention, but neither of them heard her.

Finally, Nadia lost her patience. “Oh my God!” she all but screamed, and Elijah pulled away from Hayley so quickly she stumbled backwards, and would have fallen if he hadn’t caught her het at the last second. As Elijah steadied her, the two of them finally realized that they hadn’t, in fact, been alone, and Elijah’s daughter had been standing barely a few feet from them and had witnessed their make out session.

Hayley snuck a glance at her boyfriend, who looked horrified, and cleared her throat awkwardly. “I forgot she was there,” she muttered quietly as she stood beside him, and Elijah took the opportunity to hide his face in her hair, and she felt a flutter as he pressed his lips to her temple.

“Splendid,” he whispered in her ear, and she bit back laughter as she turned to him. “How badly have we traumatized her?”

“I hope you bought her enough presents to make up for it,” she remarked, glancing over at the teenager, who had turned pink and was currently looking anywhere except in their direction. Elijah made a sound like choked laughter in the back of his throat and pressed another kiss to her temple. “We should probably get going,” she added, biting her lip nervously as she snuck another glance at Nadia.

“Good idea,” Elijah muttered, completely deadpan. He cleared his throat as he picked up his things which he’d dropped to the ground upon their reunion. “Nadia, shall we?”

Nadia looked up at the sound of her name being called, and she blushed, “yup,” she said before grabbing her own things and Hayley’s, handing her duffel bag as she passed her.

“Thanks,” Hayley whispered softly, but the teenager only nodded and passed by her before Hayley and Elijah followed her to the parking lot. “I’ll talk to her, it’ll be fine,” she whispered to her boyfriend who just nodded.

The three of them got into Elijah’s car and headed to Elijah’s place before they would go to a Plantation house that apparently belonged to the Mikaelsons where they would spend Christmas. [Not that Hayley had known about it, or been there until about a week ago when Rebekah had told her of it].

* * *

After a quick stop at Elijah’s place so both Hayley and Elijah could change as well as grab a few more presents they’d left at his, and Nadia could have a quick snack, the three of them left and headed for the Plantation house. The drive there was silent; Nadia listened to music in the back while Elijah focused on driving and Hayley stared out the window or texted Rebekah to tell the Mikaelson sister that they were on their way. A few times Hayley caught Nadia’s gaze, and wanted to say something, but the teenager just looked away, rolling her eyes in typical teenager fashion.

Finally, the car came to a stop in front of a large, white colonial-style mansion, the front of it adorned with giant columns. There was a fountain in the front, and Elijah circled it before parking behind a black Range Rover that Hayley knew belonged to Klaus, and beside it was a red convertible 1982 Alfa Romeo which could only belong to Rebekah. [Hayley found the Mikaelsons’ love for expensive, luxury cars kind of ridiculous. But, then, the Mikaelsons had a thing for luxury in general judging by their apartments, and the giant mansion in front of them. Even Elijah was in on it, since they’d arrived in his Porche Panamera, though Hayley wasn’t really complaining]. As Elijah killed the engine, Hayley noticed the welcome committee, made up of Rebekah, Marcel, Klaus with Hope squirming in his arms and Cami, standing in front of the tall, white columns. As soon as the engine was off, Nadia didn’t wait another second and got out, throwing her backpack over her shoulder, and Hayley saw her walk over to the others, exchanging a hug with Hope, Klaus and Marcel and hugs and cheek kisses with Cami and Rebekah before she stood beside her aunt. Elijah got out, too, and rounded the car to open her door even though she was halfway through doing it herself.

“Ever the gentleman,” she quipped, grinning in amusement as he helped her out, but Elijah just flashed her a tense smile as his eyes travelled over to the giant columns and he let out a heavy sigh. Hayley noticed the faraway look in his eyes, and turned to him, “you okay?” she whispered.

“Yeah…” Elijah nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced, and she shot him a look. “I just-” he paused and shut his eyes briefly, “I just haven’t been here in a while. Not since _his_ funeral,” he admitted.

Her expression softened, “oh, baby,” she whispered softly, “I’m sorry,” she rubbed his arm in comfort, and leaned closer to him.

Elijah just swallowed thickly, “shall we?” he gestured to his family waiting for them.

“Are you sure?” she muttered.

“Of course. I’m fine, Hayley honestly,” he told her pointedly.

“If you say so,” she shrugged before reaching for his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and together they made their way to the awaiting Mikaelsons.

“Ah!” Rebekah exclaimed. “There you two are! What took you so long?” she demanded, hands on her hips, and scowled, though she was obviously not actually mad.

Hayley and Elijah both laughed, shaking their heads as they reached the (incomplete) Mikaelson brood before Hayley went straight to Hope, taking her daughter from her baby daddy, Klaus handing the seven-year-old to her while Elijah went to greet his sister and Marcel.

“Oh! Hope, you are getting so big from the last time mommy saw you!” she exclaimed as she peppered Hope with kisses and squeezed her while Hope pressed herself to her and pressed kisses to her cheeks.

“But, mom!” Hope sighed dramatically, “you saw me a few days ago at dinner with Uncle Elijah, daddy and Cami,” she informed her matter-of-factly, giving her a pointed look and Hayley rolled her eyes. _Her daughter was such a Mikaelson_. “I couldn’t possibly be growing so quickly,” Hope added with a grin, a glint of mischief in her blue eyes.

Klaus chuckled as he kissed her cheek, “well, Hope, your mom is getting older and every inch you grow seems like a foot to her,” he remarked sarcastically, and everyone laughed.

“Excuse you, Klaus!” she snapped, glaring at him. “Did you seriously just call me old?” she elbowed him in the ribs and Klaus groaned, doubling over pretending to be hurt which only caused Hope, Nadia and Rebekah to succumb to fits of giggles. Even Elijah and Marcel looked amused while Cami cooed at her boyfriend, a hint of amusement in her expression as she patted his shoulder in comfort.

“Oh, Klaus,” she rolled her eyes, “would you stop being such a big baby?”

Finally, Hayley set Hope down, and the seven-year-old raced to Elijah, raising her arms up for her uncle to pick her up. Elijah did so, and Hayley couldn’t help but smile as she watched Hope kiss his cheek and Elijah hoist her on his hips while he greeted Cami, then Klaus. Hayley switched from Klaus and Cami to Rebekah and Marcel.

“Fifth year treating you well, Hales?” Marcel quipped as the exchanged a hug and cheek kisses.

Hayley rolled her eyes, “it’s kicking my ass if that’s what you mean,” she retorted drily.

“It’ll pass, trust me,” Marcel informed her. “Just, y’know, don’t burn yourself out, study for your boards, and it’ll all be fine,” he told her.

“Thanks, Marcel,” she told him before turning to Rebekah.

“I should hope I’d be the first one you’d greet, I thought I was your favorite,” Rebekah said as they embraced and exchanged cheek kisses.

“Oh, Bekah, you know you’ll always be my favorite,” she quipped with a laugh, rolling her eyes as Bekah and the other Mikaelsons joined in.

“Well, come on in,” Bekah said once they’d sobered up, “we still need to decorate the tree and bake those cookies, right Hope?” she said, smiling over at Hope who was now standing next to Hayley.

“Yes! We need to bake lots and lots of cookies!” Hope beamed before turning to Hayley. “Know what, mommy?”

“What?”

“It’s Christmas Eve and Santa is coming tonight to bring me presents! So, we gotta bake cookies, and leave him milk and carrots for Rudolph the reindeer,” she said, smiling widely.

Hope smiled, and hugged her daughter, “that’s right, baby girl,” she said and pressed another kiss to the top of Hope’s head. “Okay, c’mon, let’s go inside,” she added and followed after the others inside, and her eyes widened as she took the house in. “Wow…” she gasped.

The house was, indeed, beautiful. A classic colonial mansion, the foyer led two hallways across from each other, and Hayley could see that the hallways led to some of the rooms downstairs.

“The living room, music room, dining room and kitchen are on the first floor,” Elijah said, coming to stand beside her, his lips brushing against her ear, and she shivered.

“It’s beautiful,” she remarked as she followed after Rebekah who led them on a tour.

“We did some of the decorating, but left the tree for when you lot would get here,” Rebekah explained as they passed the kitchen. “This is the kitchen,” she said, gesturing inside, and Hayley hummed in pleasure as the scent of gingerbread and spice wafted through. “Hope, Nadia, once we’re done with the tour, we can get started on baking cookies. The dough is ready, but the smell is actually from scented candles,” she said with a small smirk.

“Great,” Hayley said, smiling. The tour continued, sans Klaus and Marcel who were off doing something else, and Rebekah took them to the dining room where a long, oval table stood at the center, surrounded by chairs with a few more against the walls as well as some cabinets. But, the dining room, like the halls and foyer was also decorated in red and gold, along with some green with a vase of gorgeous poinsettias in the center. “Bekah, the décor is beautiful,” she added, mesmerized by the beautiful decorations.

“Thanks, love,” Rebekah said, winking. “Let’s go to the living room,” she said, and led them to another beautifully decorated room with an assortment of chairs and sofas. Decorations were everywhere in the room, except for the bare fir tree which was obviously waiting to be decorated and the mantelpiece of the fireplace didn’t have any stockings on it. “Obviously needs some finishing, but I thought I’d leave some decorating for all of us to do,” Rebekah explained with a shrug.

“Sure, sounds great,” Hayley said a little absentmindedly, her eyes focused on Elijah who seemed to be worlds away while Hope and Nadia chattered, giggling behind them.

There was also a large piano in one corner of the room, next to the tree, and Hayley couldn’t help but wonder which of the Mikaelsons played.

“So, which of you is the musician of the family?” she finally wondered, unable to reign in her curiosity any longer.

Rebekah chuckled, “well, that would be Elijah, actually,” she revealed, and Hayley immediately turned to her boyfriend.

“Really?” she gasped, but Elijah didn’t say anything as he stared, transfixed, at the instrument as if he was seeing it for the first time.

“It’s been a while since I’ve played, though,” he finally mumbled, looking a little forlorn.

“Mhm,” she sighed as she rubbed his arm. “I’d like to see it sometime,” she added, but he didn’t say anything. After a few more minutes of silence, she reached for him, “hey,” she whispered softly, “you okay?”

Elijah shook his head and blinked rapidly, as if he’d just now realized what was happening, and turned to her, immediately coming to wrap his arms around her. She returned the hug, pressing her cheek against his chest, letting him rest his chin on top of her head before he tilted her head up so their eyes could meet. “I’m fine,” he muttered softly, but she didn’t quite believe him, and he knew it, too, because he added, “I just- I used to spend a lot of time here once. But, I haven’t been here in a while.”

“Oh,” she sighed before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, but he hadn’t exactly eased her worries.

“I’m fine, Hayley, I promise,” Elijah said after a few seconds before tilting his head and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She relaxed beneath his touch before squeezing him lightly and finally pulling away. “C’mon,” he whispered as he took her hand, “let’s continue the tour.” But, once they’d finally turned to Rebekah and the girls, Hayley noticed the Nadia disappear from the room, followed by a well-meaning, but probably clueless Hope, who simply chased after her cousin without noticing the look Nadia flashed her and Elijah.

Rebekah scoffed and rolled her eyes at them, muttering something that sounded a lot like ‘lovesick idiots’ under her breath before she led them upstairs, and Hayley couldn’t help but admire the decorations that adorned the banister, too. Everything seemed so beautiful, so well-coordinated, red, gold and a little bit of green decorations everywhere, and she was kind of amazed at Rebekah’s knack for decorating. She probably wouldn’t have managed to do something like this. 

“The second floor,” Rebekah paused as they all reached the second floor, “has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and one is connected to the biggest bedroom,” she explained, gesturing around. She led them to each of the beautiful bedrooms, all of them with dark wooden four-poster beds, beautiful pillows that matched the curtains on top of them along with nightstands, a large closet and a small armchair in each of the rooms. Each of the rooms also had its own color scheme: one was dark blue, another one dark red and the third a sort of soft café au lait color.

“These are gorgeous,” Hayley said softly as she looked around, her hand still joined with Elijah’s, their fingers laced together, and she couldn’t help but rub her thumbs over his knuckles in comfort.

“Mhm,” Elijah hummed, “indeed they are. Rebekah, I believe you outdid yourself this year,” he said with a small smile, and Hayley just smiled, nuzzling him as she leaned closer.

“Well, thank you for noticing,” Rebekah said, completely deadpan, rolling her eyes. After that she led them up the stairs to the last floor, and while Hayley stood there admiring the decorations, Nadia and Hope disappeared down the hall. “So, the girls will stay in one room, and there are two other bedrooms; one for you two and one for Klaus and Cami. Marcel and I are staying downstairs, and Kol and Davina and Freya and Keelin, if she comes, will stay downstairs,” Rebekah explained. “Elijah, I put you two in your bedroom and Cami and Klaus are in the other one, I trust you don’t need me to show you there,” she added.

“It hasn’t really been that long, Rebekah,” Elijah quipped, giving Rebekah a pointed look. “I’m sure we’ll find it,” he chuckled. “But, thank you, ,” he said with a small smile before embracing his sister.

“Alright, I’ll be downstairs if anyone needs me,” Rebekah said with a smile before spinning around and trotting downstairs, her heels making a _click clack_ sound on the stairs. Finally, the two of them were alone, and Elijah took her hand once more before leading her down the hall to one of the doors and opening it to reveal another big bedroom with the same four-poster bed as on the second floor, the same large closet with a full-length mirror and the same nightstands on either side of the bed as well as a comfy-looking armchair with a knitted throw over one of the arms. The color that dominated this room was a dark red that contrasted nicely with the mahogany of the wooden furniture. The walls were dark red, and the pillows on the bed were accented with the same dark red, and the cover over the bed was dark red, too.

“Damn,” she sighed after taking in the room, “whoever decorated this did a great job.”

Elijah chuckled as he stood beside her, “well, Aunt Dahlia had a thing for dramatic and bold colors,” he shrugged. “This was the room Katherine and I occupied every time we visited,” he added, and her breath hitched in her throat, and she looked down, unable to meet his gaze. “It was, uh-” he cut himself off and faltered for a few seconds, “it was closest to the nursery where Jonathan slept,” he admitted as he shut the door behind them.

Hayley’s expression softened, “oh, Elijah…” she whispered and reached for him, and it seemed that Elijah finally lost the battle of pretend he’d been engaged in ever since they’d arrived. His shoulders slumped and he practically staggered to the bed, letting out a ragged sigh as he did. Hayley followed after him, plopping down on the bed along with him, sinking into the mattress, but she didn’t have long to enjoy the feeling because Elijah was resting his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands and let out another ragged breath, panting slightly. Instinctively, Hayley reached for him, and began rubbing his back in comfort, pressing her body close to his as he attempted to take deep, long breaths, which only came out in short, muffled gasps. It took Hayley a few seconds to realize that he was shaking next to her, his whole body practically trembling, his breath coming in shaky huffs. She’d only seen him once before like this, when he’d gotten Nadia’s paternity results, and had known he’d been having a panic attack then. He was clearly having one now, too, and just like before it was quite and controlled, though he was starting to unravel now.

“Shh,” she whispered as she continued to rub his back, resting her head on his shoulder, occasionally tilting her head to press kisses to his hair, his cheek, his jaw, his temple in an attempt to calm him down. “Breathe, Elijah,” she urged quietly, “please.” Elijah did as told, but his breathing was still shaky. “Just breathe, Elijah,” she continued, still rubbing his back, pressing soft kisses, too. “Just breathe, I’m here, it’s okay,” she muttered as she rubbed his back, her fingers shaking slightly, too. “Deep breaths, Elijah,” she said, an edge of panic in her voice because he just wasn’t calming down, “deep breaths, baby,” she whispered. “Just breathe. In and out. C’mon, you can do this, baby,” she urged, her voice gentle but firm. 

Elijah’s breath hitched in his throat, and he lifted his head briefly, though he didn’t turn to look at her, “I- I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice hoarse, “I just- it’s just… I haven’t been here in three years and I just- he’s gone and I…” he panted before trailing off, and Hayley’s heart broke for him.

“I know,” she whispered softly. “I know, baby, I know,” she muttered as she continued to rub his back. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I know. It’s okay,” she soothed as she pressed another kiss to his temple, trailing down to his mole, then his jaw, and she felt him shudder beneath her touch. And then, he dropped his face into his hands once more and Hayley let out a heavy sigh before resuming her attempts at comforting him, but they seemed in vain because he continued to struggle to gain control of his breathing. Still, she didn’t let go of him and continued to rub his back and his shoulders, continued to press her own body to his, head resting on his shoulder, continued to whisper soothing words in his ear. And, finally, after what seemed like ages Elijah finally managed to gain control of his breathing and took several long, ragged breaths before letting them out. As his breathing calmed down, he lifted his head from his hands, but he didn’t turn to her. “Elijah,” she muttered softly, and finally he turned slightly towards her, but still he didn’t meet her gaze. With a sigh, she reached to cup his cheek, tilting his head so he would look at her, and finally their gazes met, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat at the pain and shame in dark brown eyes. “Elijah…” she gasped, and he hung his head, averting his gaze, but she quickly rubbed her thumb over his cheek before lifting his head once more so their gazes met again.

“Hayley, I-” he cut himself off, and she could see his lip quiver.

“Don’t,” she muttered breathlessly. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing, Elijah, do you hear me?” Slowly, he nodded, and she smiled softly as he leaned into her touch. “I’m here for you, you know that,” she added. “You’re not alone. I love you.”

Elijah’s lips curled into a smile then, and he reached with his hands, wrapping one around her waist, pulling her legs onto his lap before he reached with his free hand to cup her cheek, too, his thumb gently caressing her jaw. “Thank you,” he muttered huskily. “I love you, too,” he whispered before their lips met halfway, molding with each other, tongues tangling together as her hands slid around his neck, threading his hair while his fingers sank in her tresses.

“Mm… love you…” she gasped against his lips as Elijah rested his other hand firmly on her waist.

Elijah moaned against her lips as her teeth grazed his lower lip“… need you… want you…” he panted in between kisses, and Hayley could already feel herself getting wet as he fell back onto the bed, pulling her along with him. Their hands started drifting, roaming, reaching for clothes, and soon they were both naked, their bodies pressed against each other.

She moaned as Elijah stuck his finger inside her and began rubbing her clit, and she could feel herself getting wetter, and she needed him inside her. “Mmm… ‘Lijah… need you…” she panted, rubbing her nose against his, one hand cupping the back of his neck, the other drifted along his back while he continued to rub her clit, his movements focused, but growing with intensity while his other hand cupped her breast. She was so close, so damn close, and she informed her boyfriend of this, “mmm… ‘Lijah… close… I’m close, so fucking close,” she gasped, pulling on his hair a little more roughly as he hit her G-spot just right, and she tensed briefly, her toes curling, and felt Elijah hard against her thigh before she finally reached her release and slumped slightly on top of him. It wasn’t long before their lips found each other again, molding with each other easily, tongues tangling together, his hands in her hair, drifting along her back, cupping her breasts, and she let out muffled moans as her own hands roamed his body, pulling him closer.

“Hayley…” he croaked against her lips, “I need… you- fuck, Hayley…” he muttered hoarsely, and she felt him harden against her thigh and she wanted him just as much.

“Yes!” she gasped. “Yes… ’Lijah, I need you… inside me, now. I need you… want you, _baby_ , please,” she whispered breathlessly.

Elijah smiled against her lips as she rubbed her nose against his, “as you wish,” he muttered before flipping them over and thrusting into her, and she let out a muffled scream as she arched her back in pleasure.

* * *

They messed around for a few more rounds before finally getting up and showering, which led to another round before they finally managed to clean up and change. Hayley wondered if the sex had been a source of comfort for Elijah because he did seem better afterwards, and she didn’t even mind it. She was horny as hell, which was probably because her period was coming, but she didn’t even really mind it. Sex with Elijah was always mind-blowingly good, and if they were getting laid a little more often than usual, what was the harm? She shook her head and pushed those thoughts away before changing into a simple Christmas-themed sweater and jeans, pulling her heeled booties on while Elijah changed, too, the two of them occasionally stealing glances at each other. She dried her hair and did her makeup, and the two of them left the room together, hand in hand.

“I’ll go see Niklaus and Marcellus, perhaps they need help with something,” he told her as they descended the stairs together.

“Okay, sure. I’ll go help the girls,” she told him, flashing him a soft smile. They descended the rest of the stairs in silence and stopped in the hallway. “See you,” she said, pecking his cheek and turning to go, but Elijah stopped her.

“Hey,” he said softly as he caressed the side of her head, “earlier, I-” he stopped himself, faltering, and she could see the hesitation in his eyes.

“Shh,” she said softly, reaching to cup his cheek and caressing his jaw lovingly, “it’s okay, Elijah. Honestly, don’t worry about it,” she told him gently, though her voice was firm. When he opened his mouth to protest, she shushed him, resting her finger against his lips, “I actually kind of liked it,” she added with a small smirk and a wink, and he chuckled, visibly relaxing.

“Well, then, in that case,” he paused, “thank you,” he said softly, though the gravity of his words was obvious, before pressing a soft kiss to her lips and pulling away. Hayley smiled fondly and turned around, heading for the living room where she found Rebekah and Cami whispering giggling while Hope and Nadia were decorating the tree.

“Wh- what is going on?” she wondered as she entered the room, but only Hope noticed it, running to her and crashing against her.

“Look, mom! We’re decorating the Christmas tree,” her daughter told her, bouncing giddily on her feet.

“I see,” Hayley said, “it looks really pretty,” she said, and she wasn’t lying. Despite the fact that the tree was (mostly) being decorated by a seven-year-old and a fifteen-year-old, it really did look pretty. “Go on then,” she added softly to her daughter, brushing her hair slightly and nudging her back in the direction of the tree before turning to Rebekah and Cami who were still whispering and giggling. “Okay, you two. Out with it. What is going on?” she demanded, crossing her arms as she looked between the two women.

“Just… you and Elijah were there for a while,” Cami finally said and Rebekah covered her mouth to stifle a snort. “Have you smelled the cookies?”

Hayley inhaled slowly and immediately the smell of sugar cookies invaded her senses, “yes?” It sounded more like a question, though.

“We managed to bake the first tray of cookies while the two of you were upstairs,” Cami told her.

“I can see that. Very productive of you,” she quipped sarcastically as she began going through some of the decorations in the boxes in front of Cami and Rebekah.

Rebekah rolled her eyes, “bloody hell, the two of you are impossible,” she muttered. “You’re like two horny teenagers,” she added, and Hayley couldn’t help but blush. “Oh, you think you were so clever? We know what the two of you were doing, Hales,” Rebekah remarked playfully, wiggling her eyebrows, and Cami giggled while Hayley snorted, rolling her eyes. “I do hope you used protection,” she added, and this time Hayley elbowed her lightly causing Rebekah, too, to burst into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, shut up, Bekah,” Hayley muttered, completely deadpan. “We’re adults, thank you very much.”

“I’m well aware. But, fine, have it your way. Help me with the stockings then, okay?” she said and the three women began pulling out stockings. Rebekah, apparently, had stockings for each member of the Mikaelson family in the same red and green design with their names engraved in gold thread. While Rebekah pulled them out, Hayley and Cami were working on hanging them on the mantelpiece. First were the Mikaelson siblings, starting with Freya, skipping Finn since he wasn’t in town for the holidays, then Elijah, Hayley was next to him, and she was touched at Rebekah getting her a stocking, too, then Klaus, with Cami next to his, then Kol, then Rebekah with Marcel next to her, and then the kids, Nadia and Hope, and Hayley smiled at the fact that Rebekah had gotten stockings for both of them. It was sweet. Rebekah froze though as she pulled out two more stockings and Hayley went to her immediately and noticed that her eyes had filled with tears.

“Rebekah, what’s wrong?” she whispered, but realized it when she saw that the stocking had Baby Mikaelson-Gerard engraved on it, and she immediately pulled Rebekah into a hug. “Oh, Bekah,” she muttered, rubbing her friend’s back, “I’m so sorry,” she whispered softly.

The blonde pulled away after a few seconds, “I- I should’ve cancelled this order after… I just need a moment, okay?” And, without another word, she disappeared. Hayley let out a heavy sigh before turning to the stocking Rebekah had left behind, and she froze because on it was embroidered the name Jonathan in cursive, and the stocking wasn’t as new as Hope’s and Nadia’s, so obviously the little boy’s stocking from three years ago had been kept along with everything else. She ran her thumb over the letters, lost in thought.

“Hey, you okay?”

Hayley jumped suddenly as Elijah’s voice invaded her thoughts, pulling her out of her reverie, and she gasped, “Elijah!” her eyebrows shooting up in surprise, her mouth forming an ‘o’. Elijah reached immediately to steady her, and his hand on her waist sent a flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

“Whoa,” he said as she finally calmed down, though his hand continued to rest on her lower back. “Are you okay?”

“Y- yeah, of course, I’m fine, I was just-” she stammered, and stopped herself as the stocking in her hands drew Elijah’s attention, or more specifically, the name embroidered on it did. Elijah froze, and she heard him inhale sharply as his gaze became focused on the object in her hands.

“What is this- how did you…” he started to say, but trailed off, and gulped, swallowing back tears, and Hayley felt her own chest constrict.

“Rebekah and I- we were just putting up everyone’s stockings. This was at the bottom,” she revealed, and he nodded as he reached for it. She let him take the stocking from her hands, and opened her mouth to say something, anything, some kind of comfort, but Elijah didn’t let her.

“Thank you,” was all he said, his voice soft, barely above a whisper. He kissed her temple before turning around and leaving the room, clutching the stocking in his hands.

“Mommy!” This time, Hayley was pulled out of her thoughts by her daughter, and she immediately turned to the girls and Cami, and noticed that Nadia was looking at the space Elijah had just stood in, frowning sadly while Cami watched her concerned. Hope wasn’t paying attention to her cousin/step-sister and was instead looking at Hayley.

Hayley went over to her daughter, and crouched in front of her, “what’s up, baby?”

“Where did Uncle Elijah go?” the seven-year-old wondered.

Hayley sighed, “well, he’s probably with daddy and Marcel, helping get ready for tomorrow. Why don’t we finish decorating the tree, hmm?”

“Yes!” Hope exclaimed cheerfully. “And then, we have to finish baking cookies for Santa,” she added.

“That’s a great idea,” Hayley said, smiling.

“Speaking of,” Cami interrupted, “I think I hear that last batch of sugar cookies is ready, why don’t I go check on them, yeah?”

Hope nodded, and while Cami went to the kitchen, Hayley, Hope and Nadia went back to decorating the tree.

Once they were done with that, they joined Cami, and Rebekah who’d been upstairs in the kitchen to bake cookies and have some hot chocolate before they got started on a light Christmas Eve dinner since the real dinner would be on Christmas, the next evening. Rebekah had put her iPod in the speaker system and Christmas music started playing, contributing to the Christmas atmosphere that had started to infiltrate the kitchen. At one point, Hayley snuck out to check on Elijah, but he’d since come down and was in the yard with Marcel and Klaus.

“You okay?” she asked him, coming to stand beside him.

Elijah sighed heavily before answering, “yeah, I’m fine,” he said tersely, not quite meeting her gaze, and Hayley could see that this was one of those times that he didn’t want to talk about it.

Slowly, she nodded, “okay.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before turning around and going back inside.

* * *

On Christmas morning, Elijah was woken up by a flurry of soft kisses, and he shuddered as he felt Hayley press her naked body against his. After dinner, Hayley had tucked Hope in before returning to their room, and they’d fallen into bed together, falling asleep after several rounds of fast and passionate sex, then slow, tender lovemaking. Elijah didn’t open his eyes, he wasn’t quite ready to face the day, the morning, and instead let Hayley continue to press kisses to his skin, her fingers trailing all over his bare back, tracing the tattoo on his shoulder before kissing it. His girlfriend, most definitely aware of his emotional state ever since arriving at the plantation house, was curled around him, practically spooning him, and was carefully, methodically, sweetly kissing every inch of his back, his shoulders, his earlobe, trailing kisses along his jaw before kissing down his neck. He relaxed beneath her touch, touched by her gesture, her way of comforting him, or distracting him, either way he didn’t care, so he just groaned and buried his head in his pillow, letting Hayley do as she pleased. She made her way up, her arms wrapped around him, one hand resting on his chest to his hair line, then his ear, and her breath fanned him, tickling his skin, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. And then, she pressed her lips to his earlobe, nipping on it lightly before her tongue darted over it teasingly, and he moaned, head slightly dipped back. She pressed another quick peck to his earlobe, then rested her head against his arm, her cheek pressed against his skin. He grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it gently.

“Good morning,” Hayley murmured against his skin, and pressed another kiss to his arm.

“Morning,” he mumbled sadly, and Hayley let out a heavy sigh, and he immediately felt a pang of guilt at bringing things down today of all days. It was Christmas, after all, a time of joy and happiness, but he couldn’t quite feel it. “I’m sorry,” he finally said after a few minutes of silence, and Hayley lifted her head to look at him.

“What- Elijah, why?” she wondered, reaching to cup his cheek, caressing it gently.

“It’s Christmas,” he sighed sadly. “And, I’m…” he trailed off, unable to find words to describe exactly how he was feeling, but Hayley didn’t say anything and just fondled his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he repeated sadly. “It doesn’t matter,” he told her, and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze. Probably because if she looked into his eyes she would know how much pain he was in, and he wanted to spare her that.

“Elijah,” she drawled, and flashed him a pointed look. “You can tell me, you know,” she added softly, but when he didn’t say anything, she rolled off him, and instead propped herself up on her elbow as she reached for his hand with her free one and laced their fingers together, and squeezed it lightly.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” he said, repeating a phrase he’d said so many times, both of them knew it had long since lost its meaning. Even though he shut his eyes as a tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it away hastily, he could still see the pointed, unimpressed look she gave him, her lips pursed, eyebrows knitted together.

“Elijah,” she said again, this time more firmly. “Look at me,” she said, but he didn’t. He knew he was being stubborn, and prior experience taught him that she would eventually get it out of him, but he just couldn’t. She let go of his hand and instead cupped her chin, and tilted his head towards her, forcing him to look at her. He met her gaze, his dark brown eyes gazing deeply into her hazel ones, the green more evident in the morning sunlight. Hayley must have seen something in his eyes because he heard her inhale sharply, and her expression softened, “what is it?” she asked him again. 

He averted his gaze and looked down unable to look at her, and rested his hand on top of her own that was cupping his cheek. And then, he looked away, and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat, “Elijah, please tell me… whatever it is. I’m here for you, you’re not alone. Please, baby,” she said softly, and his stomach fluttered at the nickname she’d taken to calling him by. “Please. I know something is bothering you, I can see it,” she said pointedly. She cupped his cheek once more, and forced him to face her, her thumb rubbing gently against it. “Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out, baby, please,” she added in a pleading tone. His shoulders slumped, and finally he looked at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

He sighed and rested his hand on top of hers, “this is the first Christmas without him,” he paused, “the first one that counts, anyway. The first one I’m here for,” he finally admitted, and a tear slid down his cheek. Hayley wiped it away gently without a word.

“Oh, Elijah,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she asked as she moved closer to him, nuzzling his cheek lightly.

He shrugged and let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just- I don’t think I realized how hard it would be. I mean… it’s been three years, but…” he trailed off. “I guess I just didn’t realize it. How _hard_ it would be. And, then we were here and it really sank in…” he trailed off, unable to quite form the words… “that I won’t be woken up by Jonathan all excited that Santa came and brought presents. And, it _hurts_ ,” his voice cracked and he felt another tear slid down his cheek. “It feels like a piece of me is missing. He’s missing. He should be here,” he told her, and paused once more. “And, I miss him…” he trailed off and sighed heavily. He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her hand away from his cheek only to press a kiss to her knuckles. “Today is just another reminder that I’m not a father anymore,” he added, and choked back a sob as he looked away.

Hayley shook her head, and once again cupped his cheek, forcing him to turn towards her and meet her gaze. “No, no, no,” she said softly, still shaking her head vehemently. “That is not true, Elijah, and you of all people know that. You are still a father, Jonathan’s father even though he’s not here,” she told him, and despite her gentle tone her voice was firm, filled with conviction. She caressed his cheek lightly, “it’s okay to miss him. You deserve to have been woken up by your son all excited that Santa came, and I’m so sorry that he’s gone and that’s not happening. So, it’s okay to miss him. Today and every day. Okay?”

He nodded, “thank you,” he muttered. And then, Hayley reached for him and brushed her lips against his, gently at first, but then she deepened the kiss. It was a lingering sort of kiss, slow an soft, comforting in a way words could never be. He reached and cupped her cheek, too, his fingers gently caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled before his hand slid to cup the back of her neck, fingers sinking in her soft tresses. Hayley moved closer to him, and he pulled her on top of him with his other hand resting firmly on her back. And, he kissed her and the world fell away if only for a few seconds of brief reprieve. Air soon became a necessity, and they pulled apart, reluctantly, and Hayley reached to caress his cheek once more.

“Merry Christmas, Elijah,” she muttered softly against his lips, and he found himself smiling despite his mood.

“Merry Christmas, my love,” he told her and kissed her again. Slowly, gently at first, then his lips became more urging and demanding on hers, their tongues tangling together.

“We should go downstairs,” Hayley whispered huskily when they pulled away again.

“We probably should,” he nodded, agreeing.

With a sigh, she rolled off him and they both stood up, and Elijah couldn’t help but let his eyes roam over her naked body as he made his way to his closet and grabbed a t-shirt and her plaid shorts for her and another t-shirt and sweatpants for himself.

“Hayley?” he called out softly as she reemerged from the bathroom while he made the bed.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he told her, and held her gaze for several seconds. “I love you,” he added.

She gave him a lazy half-smile, “I love you, too,” she said softly. They finished dressing up, Hayley shrugging on a soft cardigan over her t-shirt and shorts before the two of them left the room and descended downstairs where they were greeted by an over-excited Hope, who jumped into her mother’s arms, wrapping her small legs around Hayley’s legs and her arms around Hayley’s neck. Elijah just chuckled at the two of them.

“Niklaus, how much sugar did you give her?” he wondered as he entered the living room, Hope and Hayley close behind.

“Good morning, brother. You should be grateful for the cookies I gave her, or she would’ve been in your room this morning,” his brother quipped with a smirk. Marcel and Rebekah were both there, wrapped in their own world.

“Good morning,” Hayley said as she finally entered and set Hope down. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, err-” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Merry Christmas,” he added with an awkward smile. Rebekah stood up first and exchanged hugs with him and Hayley, then Marcel followed, then Camille, who was sporting a familiar ring, and he clapped his brother on the back afterwards.

“Congratulations, you two,” he said, and this was enough to direct Hayley and Rebekah’s attention to Cami, and soon she was attacked by both women along with Hope who was clearly excited at the prospect of her father and Cami getting married. It was then that he noticed Nadia, standing a little awkwardly next to the tree, a stack of books, a gift from him in her hands.

“I’m assuming the books are from you. And, there’s a tag,” she smiled sheepishly. “Thank you,” she added and he chuckled.

“Merry Christmas,” he told her as he wrapped her in his arms “I hope you like them.”

“I love them, dad,” she said, and Elijah’s heart immediately melted, and he had to swallow back tears. Because Nadia had just made his morning, and reminded him that he had a daughter, too.

After a few more minutes of hugs and wishing each other ‘Merry Christmas’ they exchanged a few gifts. He gifted Hayley a necklace with a heart locket while she gifted him a painted version of a photograph of the two of them and the two of them engaged in a little bit of PDA in front of his family before he excused himself to go to the kitchen to make breakfast.

* * *

Hayley stood in front of the bathroom mirror before Christmas dinner having just taken a shower and stopped. She was only wearing her lingerie, a red lacy set since her shirt was plaid red and black made from delicate silk with a tie-neck and red lingerie seemed appropriate for the occasion. Plus, that was kind of part of Elijah’s Christmas present. The lingerie was quite sexy, with silk bows in the center of the bra and on both sides of the thong, and she’d even bought a negligée and silk robe to match. But, what stopped her wasn’t the lingerie itself but the fact that her breasts seemed a little swollen, a little bigger, and that fact was quite noticeable since she was small as it was. She reached to arrange her bra better, and inhaled sharply at the tenderness of her breasts.

“Oh!” she gasped, groaning a little. That was weird. She’d never really experienced that except sometimes before her period. Her period. _Of course_. She was probably just PMS-ing, she thought and reached for her phone to check her period app, and froze as soon as she opened it. According to her app she was late. _No, that couldn’t be,_ she thought, shaking her head. She looked at the app again and thought back to the past few months. The app was right. She _was_ late. By two whole months. “Shit,” she muttered under her breath as she looked back up at the mirror and moved her arms away from her abdomen. “ _Shit_ ,” she cursed again. She wasn’t exactly showing, but she was skinny as it was, and there was a slight curve to her lower abdomen. She had to get a test, and soon. She had to know for sure, but she couldn’t exactly run to the store now because everyone was downstairs waiting, so she’d wait until after Christmas to take the test. It was fine. _Maybe, this was just a really late period,_ she told herself. _Or, more likely, I’m pregnant,_ a voice in the back of her head said, but she quickly pushed it away. 

“Hayley!” Elijah’s voice from the other side of the door brought her back to the present as he knocked firmly on the door. “You okay?”

“Y- yeah, I’m fine. I’m coming out, now,” she said before reaching for her robe and wrapping it around herself. Thankfully, she’d already done her hair and makeup, so all she had to do was put on her tights, leather skirt and shirt, tying it loosely around the neck before pulling on her heeled ankle booties and jewelry.

Elijah smiled as he stood by the door, “you look beautiful, my love,” he said softly, a look of adoration in his eyes, and she felt herself flush beneath his gaze.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she applied her lipstick before walking over to him. She took his hand, and together they exited the room and descended the stairs, going to join the family. After a round of greetings and wishes of ‘Merry Christmas’ they began relaxing with drinks, Hayley accepting a glass of champagne while Elijah indulged in a wintery mocktail prepared by Rebekah, the two of them standing by the fireplace. Nadia and Hope were playing monopoly with Kol and Davina while Freya and Cami were with Rebekah in the kitchen. Marcel and Klaus were talking, both of them sitting in the armchairs with drinks in their hands. Hayley couldn’t help but smile as she looked around at her daughter’s family, her family, too while she leaned into Elijah.

“Hayley,” he whispered softly, and she turned to him, smiling fondly.

“What is it?” she asked quietly as she set her almost-full champagne glass on the mantelpiece beside them.

“Look up,” he murmured, and she did, and she couldn’t help but smile upon seeing the mistletoe hanging above them. “Merry Christmas, my love,” he said in a husky voice as he cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his touch.

“Merry Christmas, Elijah,” she whispered, smiling at him, her hazel eyes gazing into his dark brown ones.

And then, his lips brushed against hers, slowly, gently at first before she deepened the kiss, her hands sliding around his neck, gripping gently onto his hair while he wrapped his other arm around her waist, resting his hand on her back. There were some whoops in the background and a groan or two, but Hayley ignored them as she melted in Elijah’s arms, eagerly engaging in a kiss under the mistletoe. Finally, they were forced to break the kiss, but it was because everyone’s phones started going off. Hayley blushed as she pulled away from Elijah, and let out a small laugh as he, unsurprisingly, pulled her to him and hid his face in her hair while she pulled out her phone.

“It’s the hospital,” she muttered just as Freya, Cami and Rebekah all entered the room.

“Major pileup,” Klaus said, him and Marcel both standing up, their whiskey glasses abandoned.

Elijah had finally pulled away from her and had pulled his own phone out. “They want everyone STAT,” he said with a sigh, raking one hand through his hair.

This seemed to grab the girls’ attention, too, because both Hope and Nadia stood up.

“Wait you have to go now?” Nadia asked, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Sorry, sweetheart, we do,” Elijah spoke up sadly.

“All of you?” Hope asked, her eyes wide as she stared at both her and Klaus.

“Well, Cami and Aunt Bekah are staying, right?” Klaus replied, though Hayley could see the sadness in his eyes. He wanted to stay here with Hope, that much was obvious.

“Yeah, we’re staying,” Cami said with a smile.

“So am I,” Davina said with a smile.

“But, mom, it’s Christmas!” Hope exclaimed, and Hayley could see her eyes filling with tears, and she immediately went to her daughter, taking her in her arms.

“Hope, sweetie, I’m really sorry. I know it’s Christmas, trust me, everyone here wants to stay with you guys, but we really have to go to the hospital because people are hurt and they need all of us,” she said softly.

As she was speaking to her daughter, she heard shuffling, and noticed that Elijah and Marcel had briefly disappeared before returning with everyone’s coats, and they started getting dressed.

Klaus came up to them, “Hayley, let me,” he said softly, and took a now crying Hope from her arms while Hayley went to Elijah to put on her coat and grabbed her purse.

Finally, Klaus managed to calm Hope down enough so all of them could bid her goodbye before they all rushed out, yelling their goodbyes to Cami, Rebekah, Davina and Nadia.

Klaus and Marcel took Klaus’ car while Kol and Freya drove in hers and Hayley and Elijah took Elijah’s car, all of them speeding out of the Mikaelson property and heading for the city.

They split up at the hospital with most of them getting called to the E.R. and Hayley didn’t even bother changing before tying a yellow gown over her clothes, only leaving her coat, pulling her wavy hair into a messy bun. Elijah and Klaus were already in surgery as were most other attendings, and her and Josh were waiting for an incoming trauma. Finally, the ambulance pulled in and skidded to a stop.

“What do we have?” she asked as soon as the doors opened, and the paramedic started reciting, but Hayley wasn’t hearing him. Because as soon as she saw the patient, she froze.

She recognized the patient on the stretcher immediately. It was Katherine.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she cursed under her breath.


	40. Stood There and Watched You Walk Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine's fate and the ramifications of it.

Hayley blinked several times and did her best to focus on the paramedic’s words. _MVC. Truck T-boned hers and then another car crashed from the other side. It had taken a while to pull her out. Her left leg was a mess and her right shoulder was dislocated. She had a long laceration across her forehead and smaller cuts all over her face. The airbag had apparently gone off, but due to the force of the crash it resulted in blunt force trauma and possible internal bleeding. She wasn’t intubated, but had an oxygen mask over her mouth, and was groaning slightly, her eyes squeezed shut in pain._

Hayley leaned over her, “Katherine,” she said, a hint of panic in her voice. “Katherine! Katherine!” she called out.

Katherine’s eyes snapped open and she made a wheezing sound muffled by her oxygen mask.

“You were in an accident,” she stated without preamble. Katherine nodded. “You’re at St. John’s Memorial. We’re going to take care of you, okay?” Again, Katherine nodded. “Okay,” Hayley huffed, now turning to Josh, “let’s take her inside.”

The E.R. was pure chaos when they entered it, rolling the gurney to the nearest empty trauma bay. Hayley wasn’t surprised; after all, this was a mass-casualty incident and St. John’s Memorial _was_ a level 1 trauma center. [And, the accident site was apparently close by]. The E.R. had clearly been converted into a triage area and surgeons and nurses were running around dealing with patients, barking orders. Hayley scanned the room for someone familiar, namely Elijah or Elena, but neither of them were there. Gia noticed them and quickly ordered them to trauma bay three before following after them and stopped upon seeing Katherine on the gurney.

“Yes, Gia, it’s Katherine,” Hayley confirmed, huffing in exasperation. “We don’t have time for explanations. One, two, three!” she yelled as they transferred her from the gurney onto the bed. “Okay, let’s hook her up to monitors, start a large-bore IV and I need films STAT!” she ordered. “Josh, check her ABCs,” she added as she checked the chart. GCS was 12, she was a bit disoriented, and probably in a lot of pain.

“IV’s in,” the intern informed her.

“Good, get me morphine,” Hayley said. “I’m going to check this leg. Gia, is there anyone we can page? She needs a neuro exam, cardio, too. And, this leg is going to need the expertise of an ortho surgeon,” she said.

“Not really, but I’ll check,” the nurse informed her. “I know Elijah and Klaus are in a surgery. So is Celeste. I’ll check on Meredith, but she’s probably busy, too,” she told her and Hayley nodded. “It’s an all hands on deck situation, all attendings and residents are in surgery.”

“Scissors,” Hayley said, holding out her hand, and soon a pair of surgical scissors were placed in it. She cut the material of Katherine’s skinny black jeans to reveal her bloody leg. “Well, the tibia is shattered, though I still need an X-ray of it. And, her femur is sticking out, compound fracture. That’s going to need to be stabilized ASAP. Get me some saline, let’s irrigate and re-pack it,” she said. With Josh’s help, she irrigated the leg and re-packed it, and administered antibiotics to prevent an infection. [Hopefully Aya or someone else from Ortho could come in to help with the leg, but she’d deal with the compound femur fracture and leave the tibia for someone to come clean up when they were free]. The X-ray machine was brought in, and Gia informed her that cardio and neuro were busy, as was ortho. So, while Josh took Katherine’s films, Hayley did a quick neuro exam.

“Pupils are equal and reactive,” she muttered and scribbled into the chart. “Okay, Katherine, I need you to focus on me,” she said and the woman on the bed looked down at her, wincing. “I need you to let me know if you can feel this,” she said and squeezed her right foot. Katherine shook her head, and Hayley’s breath hitched in her throat, her heartbeat speeding up though she didn’t show it. “How about this?” Hayley pricked her sole with a pen. Again, Katherine shook her head. “Damn it,” she muttered under her breath. “Well, this could be due to the pelvis injury. We’ll do a CT scan to check. And, once we stabilize the pelvis and the swelling goes down, we’ll get Meredith in for a consult, okay?” Katherine nodded, but Hayley could see the fear in her eyes. Hayley crossed over to her hands. “Okay, squeeze my hands,” she requested and Katherine did so. “That’s good. Then, the paralysis, if temporary or permanent is in your lower extremities,” she observed.

“How exactly is that good?” Katherine snapped breathlessly, pulling the mask off, and glaring at Hayley unimpressed.

Hayley swallowed, “well, you’ll have use of your arms for one thing,” she remarked. “And, like I said, we won’t know anything until we get you to a CT,” she added. “Okay, sedate her and give her another of morphine. And, put that oxygen mask back on,” she ordered sternly, and Katherine did while Gia went to get more morphine. Hayley then turned to Josh, “do her FAST while I take a look at her shoulder,” she added, and the intern nodded.

“Okay, this shoulder needs to be reset,” she announced after a quick exam. [Hayley was pretty sure she was currently operating on autopilot, that she was focusing on the medicine, on treating the patient, doing what she knew. She was trying very hard not to think of the patient as Katherine, but as Jane Doe as the paramedic had said. She’d taken charge since there was no attending on the case, but it wasn’t that hard. The only sounds were her orders, occasional comments exchanged between herself and Josh, and the sounds of the beeping machines, which were currently and thankfully beeping steadily]. “Josh, come here,” she ordered and the intern immediately moved closer. “FAST?”

“Positive. Internal bleeding in the left upper quadrant, probably the spleen,” he told her and she nodded.

“Okay, well, we need to take her to an O.R. Let’s just set this shoulder, get her to a CT and get her to the O.R.,” she said, and grabbed Katherine’s shoulder, stretching out her arm. “Josh, brace her please,” she ordered.

“Err… right… sure,” Josh grumbled awkwardly as he got into position. Katherine blinked dazedly, but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, ready?” Josh nodded. “One, two, three,” she said and pulled, setting the shoulder in place, and resulting in a scream from Katherine. “More morphine!” Hayley yelled as she steadied her, pushing her back, and Gia administered the morphine, causing Katherine to go limp. But then, the monitors started beeping and Hayley felt panic shoot through her, and she looked up at the blaring monitors.

“Her SATS are dropping,” Josh observed. “Should we, err… maybe we should intubate?” he asked, but she didn’t say anything as she continued to stare at the monitors, trying to figure out what exactly was wrong. “Dr. Marshall?” the intern called out to get her attention, but she didn’t turn to him as the monitors continued to beep. “Dr. Marshall! Hayley! We should do something- we need to do something. Dr. Marshall!”

“Dr. Marshall, are you listening?” This time it was Gia, and Hayley turned to the nurse. “She’s crashing. We need to do something! _You_ need to do something,” she snapped. “You’re her doctor.”

This finally snapped Hayley out of her daze, and pushed her back into surgeon-mode, and she jumped into action. “We need to intubate now,” she said and Josh lowered Katherine’s bed so she was flat on her back while Hayley went to her head, and removed the oxygen mask. “Scope,” she demanded, without looking up, and held her hand out. A laryngoscope was placed in her hand, and she placed the instrument in Katherine’s mouth to visualize. “7.5 tube, please,” she ordered. Gia handed her a tube and Hayley pushed it in, and heard the machines beeping stop briefly. “Okay, Josh, bag her,” she said, and Josh soon switched places with her, bagging Katherine. But, the machines were still beeping. Hayley examine Katherine again, and said, “she’s hypoxic and hypotensive.”

“Tachycardic, too,” Josh commented and she nodded.

It took a few seconds before it finally hit her, “aha! Tension pneumo,” she muttered. “Shit. Page cardio STAT,” she ordered. “Scissors,” she requested, and cut Katherine’s shirt to reveal her chest. There were bruises on her chest and Hayley suspected there was probably some internal damage there. “I need to find her second intercostal space, in the midclavicular line, insert the needle to decompress. Then, I need to do a tube thoracostomy,” she mumbled before cutting Katherine’s bra in half, too, and prodded around, looking for the second intercostal space. “Found it. 16-gauge needle?”

“Dr. Marshall, are you sure?” both Gia and Josh looked at her nervously.

“Shouldn’t we wait for cardio?” the intern added.

“We don’t have time,” Hayley told him, her tone short. “You heard Gia. It’s an all hands on deck situation, who knows when cardio’s gonna get here. Meanwhile fluid continues to build in her lungs, we’re going to lose her. I need a 16-gauge needle, Gia. Now!”

Gia didn’t argue twice. “Here you go,” she said in monotone as she handed her the needle.

“Betadine,” she muttered, and Gia sprayed betadine on Katherine’s chest.

Hayley pressed her fingers against the spot and got into position before inserting the needle and felt air gush out. The monitors finally stopped beeping.

“Tube,” she yelled and Gia handed her the tube for a tube thoracostomy. There was a popping sound as Hayley inserted the tube and Gia came around to tape it just as the doors opened to reveal a harried-looking Kol Mikaelson.

“Bloody hell!” he yelled as he took in the trauma bay, which Hayley was sure liked like a scene out of a horror movie. Her and Josh were covered in blood, there was blood everywhere and it was a mess. Kol’s gaze focused on her, “Marshall,” he barked, “you paged?”

She nodded, “mm,” and glanced over at him, “they sent you?”

“Ouch, you wound me, love,” he quipped, smirking, and she snorted. “I was the only one available, Celeste’s in surgery as is everyone else in our department,” he added for clarification.

“Well, since you’re here, let’s get to it,” she said, and Kol nodded, moving closer.

“Wh-” he started to ask, but stopped himself upon seeing who was on the bed. “Wait. Is that-”

“Katherine, yes,” she huffed.

“Petrova?”

“Yup,” Josh muttered. “The one and only,” he added. “Hayley flashed him a glare, and he shut up.

“What- what happened?” Kol demanded as he pulled the stethoscope from around his neck, coming to examine Katherine.

“MVC,” Hayley said, and then started recounting Katherine’s accident in brief, then her injuries and what her and Josh had managed to do. Kol nodded gravely once she was done.

“Muffled heart sounds, I don’t like that. Have you managed to get scans?”

“An X-ray of her leg, which is a mess, yes,” she reported, her tone breathless.

“And, you didn’t do one of her chest before decompressing? Are you sure it’s a tension pneumothorax? It could’ve been something else,” he said.

She glared, “yes, I was sure. As sure as I could be considering the fact that she was crashing and the intubation hadn’t helped. Because there was obviously fluid in her lungs. It was tension pneumo because the decompression and subsequent tube thoracotomy were successful,” she informed him, her tone irritated. _Who was he to question her medical judgement right now?_

“Well, let’s hope you’re right,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Rosza, give me that bloody X-ray machine,” Kol barked and poor Josh did as told, fumbling with the machine until Kol lost his patience and just grabbed it from him. He positioned it over Katherine’s chest and snapped the film. Hayley followed him to view it, and had the urge to stick her tongue out when the X-ray confirmed that it had indeed been a tension pneumothorax and she’d done the right thing. “Fine, you win. But, that was luck, this time. Next time, you won’t be so lucky. So, do yourself a favor and do a chest X-ray,” he told her.

“Deal,” she muttered before looking at the chest film once again. Aside from confirming her earlier diagnosis it also showed some broken ribs and Katherine’s sternum and ribcage looked to have been pushed against her thoracic cavity by the force of the trauma. “This does not look good,” she concluded, looking at the scan.

“No, it doesn’t. We need to get her to the bloody O.R. STAT,” Kol said. “Gia, we need a spare O.R.”

“And, we need to get her to a CT,” Hayley added.

“We don’t have time,” Kol said. “She might code again, we need to open her up as soon as possible,” he argued.

“What good will it do if she’s brain dead?” she asked in a snippy tone.

“ _Is_ she brain dead? Have you at least done a basic neuro exam?” Kol shot back, glaring at her.

“Well, of course I have!” she snapped, glaring at him. “I’m not an idiot, Kol! I’m a fifth-year resident,” she told him. “Her pupils were equal and reactive, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have brain injuries.”

“Well, that brain injury isn’t fatal right now, and I’m more worried about her fatal injuries,” he hissed. “We need to open her up and fix her injuries, Hayley!”

“I’m well aware of that, _Kol_ , but we need to get her a head CT,” she reasoned, glaring at him. “If any other attending was here, they’d order us to do a head CT and you’d do it no questions asked,” she added.

“Well, there are no attendings here, if you haven’t noticed!” Kol yelled, glaring at her infuriated. “It’s an all hands on deck situation and every attending is in surgery or in another trauma bay. There’s no one here to order us around, we’re in charge! And, we need to take her to an O.R. and open her up now instead of arguing!”

“We need to get her a head CT, Kol. It’s protocol!” she yelled, but this only served to annoy Kol even more.

“Well, screw protocol!” Kol practically screamed, and Hayley flinched, stepping back. “This is an emergency, we need to open our patient up and make sure she doesn’t die, protocol be damned!”

“ _Guys_!”

The two of them turned as the sound of Josh’s yell reverberated through the room and stared at him. He’d been calling for them, trying to get their attention the entire time they’d been arguing, but neither of them had paid any attention.

“What?” Hayley snapped, huffing.

“Err- we should, uh, we should get Katherine to surgery. O.R. 4 is free,” he said, looking between the two of them nervously. Hayley glanced at the monitors; Katherine’s SATS were dropping, not dangerously low, but low nonetheless, and Hayley had to admit it that Kol was right. Katherine couldn’t wait for a CT. She needed surgery right now.

“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Let’s get her to the O.R. now,” she said and Gia opened the doors as they began rolling Katherine out, but Hayley stopped again before they got on the elevator. “Elena!” she exclaimed.

“What? What’s Elena got to do with-” Kol started, but she cut him off.

“Elena is probably Katherine’s POA. I know this is an emergency, but shouldn’t we tell Elena in case there is some directive, or something?” she wondered, suddenly uneasy at the thought of operating on Katherine Petrova of all people.

“Well, this is an emergency. So, we just do everything we can to save her life. And, maybe we shouldn’t actually tell anyone she’s here. Not Elena. Not Elijah, either,” Kol said, glancing over at her. “They’re both in surgery and they don’t need this to add to their existing stress,” he added, and she couldn’t argue with that point.

“Okay. You’re right. This is an emergency. We’ll inform family later,” she nodded in agreement. “I need to change into scrubs. I’ll meet you in the O.R., okay?”

“Okay,” Kol said and Hayley nodded again before running in the direction of the stairwell, darting up the stairs, taking two at a time until she reached the residents’ locker room. She changed quickly, pulled her hair into a bun and grabbed her scrub cap before running to the O.R. floor. And, just her luck, Elijah was there, walking in her opposite direction. He looked tense, probably from the stress, but relaxed as soon as he saw her.

“Surgery?” he asked.

“Yup. Jane Doe, one of the MVC victims. E.R.?”

“Yeah, they need me for a consult there, and then there’s another patient,” he told her and she nodded.

She wanted to reach for him, to hug him, to tell him what was going on, but Kol was right, so she didn’t. Instead, she reached for his hand, curling her fingers around his, and they stood like that for a few moments. “Some Christmas, huh?” she asked, half-laughing nervously.

Elijah chuckled, “yeah,” he nodded. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah. Yes. See you later. I love you,” she told him, squeezing his hand lightly.

“Love you, too,” he muttered before pulling away and walking past her, out of sight. Hayley continued in the direction of the O.R.s where she put on booties, then headed to the scrub room for O.R. 4. Kol and Josh were already there, and she stood next to him, scrubbing quickly, but methodically, neither of them saying anything. And then, they entered the O.R., the nurses helping them with their surgical gowns and gloves, and the three of them headed for the bed where Katherine was.

“Scalpel,” Hayley and Kol said at the same time, each holding out their hand for the instrument while Josh stood between them. Hayley braced herself and made the incision in the left upper quadrant while Kol made his along Katherine’s chest. “Suction,” she barked, and Josh stepped forward with it.

“Saw,” Kol muttered, and soon the sound of bone cutting filled the O.R.

“Retractor,” she ordered, and used the instrument to make space before blood started gushing out. “More suction! Hang O-neg units!”

“Damn it, she’s got a tear in her heart,” Kol muttered. “I got a bleeder over here, I need suction!”

“Clamp!”

“SATS are dropping!” yelled the anesthesiologist.

“More suction, Josh!”

“This spleen is a mess,” she commented. “Suction!”

Usually, when she was in an O.R., the rest of the world fell away and it was just her, her instruments and the sound of the monitors beeping. But, right now, she was hyperaware that this wasn’t just any patient. This was Katherine Petrova, Elijah’s ex-wife. The mother of his children. One of whom, Nadia, Hayley cared about almost as much as she cared for her own daughter. But, Katherine was also a colleague, her boss, and this only served to make Hayley even more aware that she could _not_ let Katherine die.

“Clamp,” she muttered, holding out her hand. She was clamping and tying off bleeders as much as she could because she needed to stop some of the internal bleeding so she could focus on Katherine’s leg. Normally, in any other situation, a general surgeon or a trauma surgeon would be dealing with the internal bleeding and an ortho surgeon or trauma surgeon would be dealing with the leg. “Josh, how’s that leg doing?” she asked as she effectively clamped off a bleeder.

“Uh…” Josh paused, and shuffled, “not really- err, it’s not doing that well…” he rambled, and Hayley and Kol both looked up.

“What do you mean ‘not well’?” Kol demanded. “Damn it,” he cursed under his breath. “These sutures aren’t holding!”

“Easy, Kol,” she told him, flashing him a hard look. Hayley took a deep breath, “Josh, I need you to do something for me. Check for femoral pulse and tell me if it’s there,” she said, releasing it.

There was shuffling as Josh pushed away the drape from Katherine’s leg and fumbled around her thigh.

“Yeah, it’s there,” he said, and she nodded.

“Good. Now popliteal?”

“Yes.”

“Posterior tibial?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Good. And, dorsalis pedalis?” she asked as she continued to deal with the internal bleeding which she’d mostly gotten under control.

Josh took a minute to answer, but Hayley relaxed when he replied in the affirmative, “yes.”

“Okay,” she let out a relieved sigh. “But, we still need to stabilize that leg. Gia, any chance we can get ortho here?” she asked.

“I can try paging, but as far as I know both Elijah and Aya are in surgeries,” she informed her, and Hayley groaned. And then, an idea popped into her mind.

“Hey, Josh, come over here, I need to switch for a bit,” she told him. “Hold these clamps here,” she directed him, and handed him the instruments. “The bleeding should be under control now. Gia, what O.R. is Elijah in?” she asked, turning to the nurse now.

“O.R. 3, why?”

But, it was Kol who answered. “She’s going to tell him. Hayley, is it even a good idea for you to go? Can Josh handle this?”

“He’s gonna have to. I won’t be long,” she said, already tearing off her surgical gown and gloves.

“But, Hayley-” Kol started to argue with her, but she didn’t let him.

“He’s got this, Kol. And, I need Elijah’s opinion on that leg. I’m not an ortho surgeon, you know that. If I can’t get Elijah or Aya into this O.R., I can at least get one of them to see her scans,” she said, and finally Kol nodded.

“Hey, maybe get another intern while you’re at it. We could use another set of hands,” he suggested, and she nodded.

“I’ll try,” she muttered. And, with that she exited the O.R., and headed to the nurses’ desk where she grabbed one of the available tablets, entering Katherine’s name and breathing out a sigh of relief that her scans were available. Tablet in hand, she headed to O.R. 3 where she found Elijah and Klaus working. Both men looked up when she entered, holding a mask in front of her face.

“Dr. Marshall, is everything okay?” Elijah asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I, uh, need a consult,” she finally said. “From you,” she added, turning to her boyfriend. “It- my MVC victim. I lied before. It’s not Jane Doe. It’s Katherine,” she revealed and an audible gasp was heard in the entire O.R. Nurses murmured to each other and both Klaus and Elijah stared at her in shock.

“What- what happened?” Elijah finally asked, recovering.

Hayley took a deep breath before starting to recount, as fast as she could, what happened to Katherine, what were her injuries, what was the course of action she and Kol had taken, the words spilling from her mouth quickly, almost jumbled together. Elijah had to stop her a few times and tell her to breathe before she resumed. Finally, when she was done, he nodded.

“Show me those scans, then,” he said, his voice cold and clinical. Hayley could see that he was in surgeon mode, that he was Dr. Mikaelson right now. She didn’t blame him. So, she stepped forward and showed him the scans. “Okay, well, stabilize the femur and give her more antibiotics. If she makes it through the night, I’ll go in tomorrow and fix her leg,” he said, and she nodded.

“Okay, thanks,” she muttered.

She was at the door when Klaus stopped her.

“Hayley!” he called out, and she turned to face him.

“The spleen. If you can’t get the bleeding under control, just remove it, okay?” he advised.

“Okay,” she nodded. And then, she turned around again and left O.R. 3, returning the tablet, then heading to O.R.4. She scrubbed quickly and reentered, the nurse helping her with a new surgical gown and gloves.

“How are we doing?” she asked.

“We’d be doing better if she wasn’t losing so much blood. And, these bloody sutures aren’t holding- I’ve had to put her on bypass,” Kol reported.

“She’s bleeding here again, clamps aren’t helping,” Josh said. Hayley noticed there was another intern there, standing awkwardly.

“You!” she yelled.

“Uh, yes?”

“What’s your name?”

“Um… Dr. Lisa Kinney,” the intern said.

“Okay, Dr. Kinney, please switch with Dr. Rosza. Dr. Rosza, join me,” she ordered. The interns switch. “Dr. Kinney, I want you to keep an eye on the patient’s internal bleeding over there, okay?”

“Yeah,” the intern said wearily.

“Good. Dr. Rosza, you ready? We’re stabilizing this femur, then we’ll get back to that spleen,” she directed and Josh nodded, though he looked a little pale. Hayley rolled her eyes.

“Err- sure,” he muttered.

“Okay, scalpel please,” she said and the scrub nurse handed her one. She made an incision to enlarge the cut made by the broken bone. “Saline,” she ordered. She needed to irrigate the wound first, make sure she had a clean surgical site. “Retractors please,” she said, holding her hand out for the instruments and using them to enlarge the site. “Suction!” Once she had better view of the bone, she nodded and her focused her mind on the many surgeries she’d done with Elijah that had involved femurs. She reviewed the steps in her head, and her voice was steady when she asked for an instrument, “forceps,” she ordered.

* * *

In hindsight, Hayley would realize that she’d celebrated too soon, but hindsight was always 20/20. And, that wasn’t the case now. Because, one minute things were fine and she’d finished fixing the femoral fracture, stabilizing it with pins, plates and wires (she felt almost proud of herself for pulling it off), and the next monitors were beeping and blood was gushing out everywhere no matter how much Josh and the other intern, Kinney, were suctioning. She’d even gotten rid of the spleen as Klaus had said, but that didn’t seem to be helping either.

“Damn it,” she cursed under her breath as the heart monitor beeped. “She’s in V-fib!” she cried. “Let’s pack her abdomen, get the internal paddles!” she ordered as Kol began massaging her heart.

“Performing heart massage!” he barked. Josh had abandoned suctioning and was packing the abdomen with lap pads. Hayley grabbed the paddles from Gia. “Charge to 200.”

“Clear!” she announced and pressed. The heart jolted, but did not start beating again. “Okay, charge to 300!” she ordered.

“300,” Gia confirmed. She repeated her earlier action, but nothing happened.

“Still V-fib,” Kol said. “Damn it! Move, Marshall!” Kol barked, elbows deep in Katherine’s chest cavity, his hands massaging her heart. [If he wasn’t the most skilled in cardiothoracic surgery in the room, Hayley would have pulled rank. But, he was, and Hayley was well aware there was nothing she could do, so she just moved and let him take over]. “Charge to 300!” Kol ordered. Nobody moved though, and Kol turned to them, his brow damp with sweat. “Charge to bloody 300! This is the mother of my brother’s daughter, and despite being a conniving bitch, she doesn’t deserve to die and leave that sweet little girl without a mother, so charge to three-bloody-hundred!” he roared.

This time, both she and Gia sprang into action as Hayley grabbed the paddles again, and Gia went to the machine.

“Clear!” she announced, and Kol moved his hands away. Hayley quickly fitted the paddles on either side of the heart. Gia pressed the button, and nodded at her, so Hayley repeated what she had done countless times, but the heart didn’t start beating. “Anything?” she panted, turning slightly.

“Nothing,” Gia told her.

“Um, guys? Maybe we should, like, page someone? Or, call for someone… not that you’re all not skilled enough, but uh, shouldn’t you just get someone else?” Josh wondered from where he stood, his surgical gown covered in blood. [He’d been on suction]. Beside him, Kinney, the other intern, looked like she might be sick.

“There’s no time, Josh!” she snapped, turning to the intern. “Plus, most attendings are in surgery, or the E.R. treating other patients. We’re on our own. Kol, you’re the cardio dude, is there-” she asked, but the younger Mikaelson cut her off.

“Charge again. I- I fixed her heart. I fixed the tear,” he said, his voice filled with panic. “So, now we charge again!” he snapped, turning to Gia. “Charge to 360, love!”

“Don’t call me ‘love’,” Gia growled, but pressed the button anyways.

“Clear!” she announced. The heart jolted, but didn’t move, and the monitor indicated that there had been no change. “Fuck,” Hayley muttered. “Charge again, Gia!”

“With all due respect, Dr. Marshall-” Gia began, but Hayley didn’t let her finish.

“Charge again, Gia! You’re a nurse, I’m a fifth year resident and I am telling you to charge again! I am not letting the ex-wife of the man I love die on _my_ table!” she growled as tears threatened to spill. _Even if said ex-wife had cheated on Elijah and broken his heart, she didn’t deserve to die_. “Restarting cardiac massage,” she announced, removing the paddles and handing them to Kol as she began massaging Katherine’s heart. “Okay, now hand me the paddles!” she ordered. Even Kol had stopped his previous efforts, and now it seemed Hayley was the only one moving as she fitted the paddles. “Okay, charge to 360! C’mon, Katherine,” she said, panting.

“Okay,” Gia said from behind her.

“Clear!” she announced and repeated the procedure, but to no avail. She felt Kol beside her, and she handed him the paddles before starting to massage again. Her hands were aching, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t about to give up.

“Love, you should call it,” the younger Mikaelson said softly.

“I can’t do that,” she muttered, still massaging. “I can’t- I’m not giving up on her,” she added.

“Hayley, love, look I- I know how difficult this is, but she’s gone. That- that’s not Katherine, love, alright? Katherine’s gone. She’s gone, and there is nothing you can do,” Kol said, and she felt his hands on hers, but she didn’t stop.

“What about Nadia?” she asked, her throat closing up with a barely-concealed sob. “What about- what about Elijah?”

“They’ll go on,” Kol said softly as he removed her hands from Katherine’s chest. “Look, I don’t want Katherine to die either because that little girl needs her, alright? But- Katherine is gone, there is nothing we can do for her,” he told her firmly, and pulled her away. Gia shut off the monitor that was beeping.

“Someone has to call it,” Gia said.

“Call it, love,” Kol urged her gently.

Numbly, Hayley looked up at the digital clock. “Time of death: 03:45,” she read, and finally released the breath she’d been holding. As if in a trance, she walked to the scrub room, and threw her surgical gown, gloves and mask into the surgical bin. The others followed after her and began removing their surgical equipment as well.

“We, uh, we tried, right?” Josh muttered, glancing over at her and Kol.

“We did,” Kol nodded.

Hayley exhaled slowly, “not hard enough,” she finally said, her voice quiet, barely above a whisper. And with that, she left the scrub room, leaving the others behind her. As soon as she was out in the hallway, though, she wanted to go back in. Because out in the hallway, Elijah and Klaus stood, clearly waiting for them. Hayley swallowed thickly, and the door opened and shut behind her. Kol appeared behind her, and glanced at her in concern.

“You alright, Hales?”

“Yeah,” she whispered and cleared her throat. “Doesn’t matter though, I have to do this,” she said, shaking her head.

“ _We_ have to do this,” Kol corrected. “Come on.” 

Elijah and Klaus both stood up from where they’d been sitting upon seeing them, and Hayley took several deep, calming breaths. Her eyes locked with those of the father of her child, and she knew that Klaus knew the outcome. And then, she turned to Elijah.

“Elijah,” she started, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Just- just tell me, Hayley, please,” he said, his own voice shaking slightly.

“We, uh, we did everything we could,” she finally said, sniffling, and shut her eyes briefly. Kol swallowed thickly and nodded for her to continue. “But, unfortunately there was too much damage. Too much blood. She threw a clot, went into V-fib, we tried to resuscitate, but were unsuccessful. We-” she paused and took a deep breath before releasing it. She was sure she was disassociating at this point, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the obvious grief in Elijah’s eyes, the pain evident in them as she held his gaze. “She’s gone,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry,” she added, her voice breaking on that last part.

For several moments, no one said anything, and Hayley had to avert her gaze, unable to look into Elijah’s eyes any longer. That pang of guilt she’d been feeling was growing, and she almost felt sick.

Finally, Elijah spoke, “I- I should inform Elena. Then, Nadia. Niklaus, you said Camille was bringing her?” Klaus nodded. Hayley’s eyes stung with unshed tears. “Thank you-” he paused, his voice faltering for a moment, “thank you for trying. Goodbye, Dr. Marshall, Dr. Rosza. Kol, Niklaus,” he muttered, nodding at them all before turning to walk away. Hayley flinched and bit back a sob, and her chest constricted painfully at his coldness, how detached he sounded. He was obviously in pain, but he was hiding it from everyone including her. And, it hurt. She reached for him, her fingers curling around his wrist, and Elijah stopped, but didn’t say anything. For a moment, their gazes met, and the look in Elijah’s dark brown orbs all but brought her to her knees. His eyes that usually gave her an indication of his emotional state were cold and empty, and it shook Hayley. And then, he looked away, wrenched his hand out of her grasp and walked past them. Hayley felt tears prickle at her eyes.

It was Klaus who spoke next, coming closer to her, “you alright, love?” he asked softly, reaching to pat her arm gently.

She sniffled, “yeah, I…” she trailed off, at a loss for words. _What could she say?_ “I just-” she cut herself off, but Klaus obviously understood.

“He’s not angry with you, love. He just needs some time to process is all. I’m sure he’ll find you when he’s ready,” he said gently, rubbing her arm in a comforting manner.

“Right,” she nodded. “I should go,” she said, pursing her lips. “I, uh, I have some things to do. Then, I’ll head back to the E.R.,” she explained.

“Are you sure? Maybe you should talk to Vincent and ask for some time? I’m sure things are starting to die down-” he started to say, but was cut off by his pager. “Damn it,” he cursed under his breath.

“You jinxed that, Nik,” Kol quipped.

“Yeah. I need to go. Will you be okay, Hayley?” he asked.

She nodded, “yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.” With another nod, Klaus turned and left, heading for the elevator. Kol’s pager beeped, too, and he flashed her another look before leaving as well.

Josh turned to her, then opened his arms, and she accepted the hug. They stood like that for a few seconds before she pulled away, “thanks, Josh.”

“No problem. I’m really sorry for what happened,” he said, flashing her a tight smile.

“Why are you sorry?” she wondered.

Josh shrugged, “I dunno. I’m just sorry is all. I mean, sure, Katherine was a bitch, but she was someone’s mom,” he said.

“Yeah, she was,” Hayley sighed, nodding. “Anyways, I really do have to go. And, you should go to the E.R. See you,” she said before pivoting and heading downstairs for the lobby and hospital pharmacy. She needed to buy pregnancy tests.

* * *

Katherine’s wake was at a church in New Orleans and the funeral was at Lafayette cemetery. Elena had decided to bury her next to Jonathan, and Hayley had to admit it made perfect sense. While jazz and second line funerals were typical in New Orleans, Katherine wasn’t from New Orleans, so that didn’t happen. Hayley zoned out of the funeral itself, just sat on Elijah’s side, holding his hand. Nadia sat on Elijah’s other side, tears silently streaming down her face. Hope was with Klaus and Cami behind them. Elena was next to Nadia, with her husband Damon next to her. Most of the hospital’s doctors were in attendance as well as nurses. But, Hayley hardly noticed them because all she was focused on was Elijah. But, Elijah was quiet and somber throughout the funeral and hardly said anything beyond a few pleasantries.

After the funeral, the Mikaelsons, plus Nadia, retreated to the Plantation house. The Christmas decorations had been removed, no doubt after what happened to Katherine, and the house felt empty despite the fact that it was filled with people. Hayley had just left Hope to eat with Klaus and Cami and decided to look for Elijah. She found him chopping wood of all things, his movements measured, but he seemed tense as he stood there, slamming the ax into the wood. He wasn’t wearing his suit jacket, just his white button up, its sleeves rolled and pants, no tie.

“Elijah,” she said softly, but he didn’t give any indication he was aware of her presence. “It was a nice funeral,” she remarked after a while.

“Not that I had anything to do with it,” he grumbled. “That was all Rebekah’s doing,” he added.

“Well, you’re sister _is_ good at this sort of thing,” she shrugged. “I checked up on Nadia. She’s reading a book in your study,” she said after a while, and he just nodded. “Elijah,” she called out his name again.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, but she didn’t believe him.

“Elijah,” she repeated, “it’s okay to not be okay. I know things between you and Katherine were tense at the best of times, but she was the mother of your children… it’s okay not to be okay,” she told him in a gentle voice.

“I’m not sad,” he said, glancing over at her. “I’m relieved, actually.”

“You don’t actually mean that, Elijah,” she said, shaking her head. “I know you don’t. I saw the look on your face after I told you. You don’t mean that,” she said firmly.

“And, what if I do? Katherine was a bitch who broke my heart, cheated on me and took my son away from me,” he said, his voice cold once again as he went back to chopping. Hayley bristled.

“Oh, come on, Elijah,” she sighed. “You and I both know that as much as Katherine hurt you and generally pissed you off, you did love her once,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. But, Elijah just ignored her and continued to angry-chop wood. She could see though, that her words did have some effect on him from the way his shoulders shook slightly, the his hand shook as it held the axe. He swung, and slammed the axe into the piece of wood, causing it to split and splinter. Again, he swung, slamming the axe into the wood. This continued a few more times. Hayley sighed, and turned to leave, but decided to try one more time. “Elijah,” she said softly, and finally he turned to her. He put down the axe and walked over to her, reaching for her hand. It was the first time he’d initiated physical contact between them since Christmas. He lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles, and Hayley’s stomach fluttered. Then, he dropped it and returned to chopping wood.

“I’m fine,” he muttered again, but she could hear the slight waver in his voice.

Silence descended between them once again and Hayley just stood there and watched him chop wood. This time, it didn’t split as easily and he continued to slam it until the wood splintered.

“Put down the axe,” she finally said, breaking the silence. “Put down the axe,” she repeated, her tone firmer. “ _Put it down_ ,” she said again, her voice gentle. This time, he obeyed, dropping the axe to the ground, and turned to her, pursing his lips, though she could see it was to keep from crying. Her expression softened as she climbed on the stump he’d been using to chop the wood on. There wasn’t much of height difference between them, so really the wood was only making her taller than him, but she stepped on it anyways. Slowly, Elijah walked over to her and reached for her hand, squeezing it firmly. She reached to cup his cheek with her other hand, caressing his jaw comfortingly. And then, Elijah’s composure broke and he let out a sob, and Hayley’s heart broke.

“She’s gone,” he mumbled as tears spilled from his eyes. “They’re both gone,” he added and she knew he meant Jonathan. Slowly, she coaxed him to her until he was resting his face against her chest, and she pulled him to her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, clinging to her. As he continued to sob, his body shaking, she carded her fingers through his hair, whispering soothing words while she held him. Neither of them moved, just stood there as Elijah’s cries filled the air.

“Shh,” she murmured, “I’m here. It’s okay. I’m here,” she whispered and kissed his hair. “You’re not alone. Just let it all out, Elijah, it’s okay.”

After a while, Hayley stepped down from the stump, and Elijah buried his head in her hair, his arms moving up, though he still clung to her, and she held him, rubbing his back, carding his hair, trying to comfort him as much as she could.

* * *

Everything changed after the funeral. Or, maybe after she’d told him Katherine was dead. Maybe what happened after the funeral was something else, a brief moment of vulnerability. Either way, things had definitely changed between them. The most noticeable being that they spent less time at each other’s place, something that had been initiated by Elijah. He cited work and needing to focus on Nadia. Hayley hadn’t exactly objected, though that may have been influenced by her own guilt. Though, if there was a silver lining it was that he didn’t see her vomiting in the morning, so he didn’t question it. Another thing was that even when they were together, they weren’t talking, not really. Hayley had tried to talk to him, to get him to open up, but Elijah refused to, so Hayley just let him be. So, whenever they were together, either at his place or hers, they coexisted in silence. Even sex was quiet, and they usually fell asleep afterwards. Gone were the days of whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ear, or talking about anything and everything. And, Hayley felt like she was suffocating. And, she’d had enough. [She was grateful right now that Nadia had gone to stay the night at Elena’s and Klaus had taken Hope, so they were alone for once].

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on?” she finally snapped as she set down her takeout container. They’d ordered Chinese for dinner.

Elijah turned to her, “what do you mean?” he asked, looking a little perplexed.

“This. Us. Is this how it’s going to be? Not talking, just… cohabiting?” she wondered, and swallowed back tears. _Damn hormones_. “I mean,” she paused and took a deep breath before releasing it, “you do know that’s what we’ve been doing, right?”

Finally, he nodded, “I know and I’m so sorry,” he finally said, and Hayley let out a relieved sigh, feeling hope for the first time since the funeral. “I just- I’ve been having a hard time, that’s all. Katerina dying just brought back everything with Jonathan and I…” he trailed off and hung his head, his gaze trained on the floor.

She swallowed, “I know. I know it’s hard. I know that despite how the two of you ended, despite all the fights, she was important to you. But, Elijah you can’t keep bottling it all up,” she said gently, and reached for him, cupping his cheek. He leaned into her touch, and she felt her hope increase. “You know I’m here for you, you know you can talk to me about anything. I told you, baby, you’re not alone,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, “I know. I just- I can’t talk about it right now,” he admitted, pulling away from her. Hayley pursed her lips as her hand dropped into her lap.

“Okay,” she nodded. “But, we do need to talk, Elijah,” she added after a few minutes of silence. “We need to talk because not talking isn’t healthy for us, for you especially. And, I’m worried-” she started, but he cut her off.

“That I’m going to start drinking?” he snapped, though his voice wasn’t loud. Just cold and lacking emotion, which only made it worse. “Don’t worry, Hayley, I still go to my meetings, I’m fine,” he gritted his teeth.

“That’s- that’s good,” she finally said, nodding. “But, we still need to talk. There’s- there’s something I need to tell you,” she said firmly, though her tone was softer. Her heartbeat sped up with anticipation.

Elijah nodded, “okay, go ahead.”

Hayley took a deep breath, then spoke, “I, uh, I’ve suspected since Christmas, but I only found out after Katherine-” she stopped, unable to form the words. She took another deep breath, released it. “After she died. After that surgery. But, I couldn’t tell you then because you were dealing with everything, and then the funeral and I… I didn’t want to make it worse. Or, I was scared. I don’t know,” she sighed.

“Hayley,” Elijah said, and she snapped her gaze over to his. He was looking at her carefully and his expression was warm. “Whatever it is,” he said softly, “you have to tell me.”

She took a deep breath. _Okay, here goes_. “I’m pregnant,” she finally said. For a few minutes, no one said anything. Then, Elijah blinked slowly, several times, and Hayley’s heart felt like it might burst out of her chest as he waited for him to say something, anything. “I- I’m pregnant, Elijah,” she repeated. “I-” she stopped. She was about to repeat herself a third time, maybe he was processing, maybe he needed another confirmation, but Elijah stood up, silently, and she scrambled to her feet along with him. “Elijah-” she started to say, but this time, he cut her off.

“I, uh, I have to go,” he finally said and she gasped, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Wait- what?” she stared at him in shock.

“I have to go. I- I can’t- I can’t do this,” he stammered. “I- I’m sorry,” he added, more quietly as he headed for the door.

Hayley reached for him, grabbed onto his hands, stopping him, and Elijah turned to face her.

“Elijah, didn’t you hear what I said? I’m pregnant, you can’t leave!” she snapped, tears filling her eyes, her heart hammering in her chest, a hysterical edge to her voice. “We’re supposed to be in this together, we’re supposed to-” she argued, but he stopped her.

“I heard what you said,” he said, his voice cold and detached just like it had been when he walked away from her after she told him that Katherine had died. “But, I can’t. I can’t do this, Hayley. I’m so sorry. I just can’t. I have to go,” he said.

Silence descended between them as they stood there, facing each other. “I love you,” she finally said in a pleading, emotional tone, breaking the deafening silence.

“I love you, too,” he said, and only now she noticed the pained look in his eyes, in the way his jaw was set, the strain in his voice. They moved towards each other as if in a trance, closing the gap between them. She wound her hands around his neck while he sank his fingers in her tresses and their lips crashed together, molding with each other, tongues tangling together, and she let out a low moan in the back of her throat. And then, he pulled away, and Hayley stomach churned.

“Elijah-” she started to say, but he cut her off.

“But, I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t stay. I know that makes me… you deserve better than that. Better than me. I could never be what you needed me to be,” his voice cracked slightly, but when he spoke next it was cold once again. “I’m truly sorry, Hayley. I hope you’ll forgive me one day. I just- I can’t stay. I’m leaving,” he said, and Hayley choked back a sob, her eyes filling with tears once more. The look on Elijah’s face was wounded, full of pain, and all she wanted was to wrap her arms around him and hug him and never let him go. “I’m going to the army. Another tour. Please forgive me,” he added, his voice now hoarse, and she noticed his lip was quivering. And then, he stepped towards her and pressed his lips to her forehead and she closed her eyes, a tear spiling down her cheek and she sniffled.

“Elijah…” she mumbled, as if it would change anything. It didn’t.

“Goodbye,” he muttered against her skin. And, with that he turned around and headed for the door. Hayley hadn’t even noticed when he’d grabbed his jacket and things. Really, she barely noticed anything. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. Her ears were ringing. All she could do was clutch at her stomach, tears streaming down her face as she watched him walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Wow! I feel a huge sense of accomplishment because this is my first completed fic ever. And, I know you're all probably having a heart attack about this ending right now. Except Bella, who's known about it for ages. And, that's because there is a reason for me ending TAOL this way. There will be a TAOL sequel, titled The Anatomy of Hope (TAOH). Surprise! I got the idea for a sequel a while ago, in the summer actually while TAOL was still at the beginning. Bella did not talk me out of it, so I totally blame her for me going through with this. I will post the sequel sometime this month, but first I need to figure out the timeline for it. So, stay tuned for that!  
> And, now I will get quite emotional. Sue me.  
> Firstly, I wanna thank everyone for all the support - kudos, comments, reads - thank YOU for all of it!  
> Secondly, I wanna thank Bella (Bella Leigh) for everything. Thank you for not talking me out of this insane idea, thank you for all your contributions, for your support, for your ideas, for live tweeting every chapter of this fic. THANK YOU (I told you I was gonna get sappy). This fic wouldn't be what it is - forty chapters I am EXTREMELY proud of without you, Bella, so thank you for being TAOL's biggest cheerleader.  
> And, thirdly I just want to say enjoy this last chapter (of TAOL). In true TAOL fashion it's angsty AF.  
> With lots of love,  
> Andi


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